Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - 3 Types of Clutter That Are Secretly Ruining Your Home | Clutterbug Podcast # 287

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

Get ready to transform your space and mind! In this eye-opening episode of the Clutterbug Podcast, I dives deep into the psychology of clutter—from childhood memories and identity attachments to the fear-driven impulse of never letting go. Discover the 3E Framework (Exposure, Evaluation, Exit) designed to break through decision fatigue and conquer the emotional ties that keep you stuck. Whether you're battling a lifetime of sentiment or simply overwhelmed by the mess, I deliver real solutions, actionable tips, and the motivational push you need to reclaim your home and your life. Tune in and start your journey toward a more organized, empowered you!   You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #mondaymotivation #decluttertips #podcast #declutteryourhome Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your childhood isn't the only thing that affects your relationship with clutter. I recently did a podcast talking about the connection between your childhood and how it affects your relationship with clutter today. But what I've found is that there's so many other things other than just your childhood that has a huge impact on your home and how you manage your stuff. And I am not, obviously, a psychiatrist or scientist or any is type thing, but I am an expert, an expert in decluttering an organization because I've had years of practice with clients and in my own home. And I've noticed patterns. I've noticed definite triggers and underlying reasons that cause people to either have too much clutter or just really struggle to get organized. Hey, clutter bugs, welcome back. In today's episode, we are dealing with the psychology of clutter and why we can't just let go. And I want you to really stick with me on this one because we might get

emotional. We might talk about sciencey stuff. But what I am going to offer you is real solutions, real steps that you can take to have the home that you deserve. So hear me out. But first, before we jump in, I gave you last week off. I don't know if you noticed or not, but last Last week, I didn't tell you that you had to declutter. I didn't get tough in the beginning. So you had a little break. But today, this week, you are going to take action. I want you to think about a place in your home right now, something you've been avoiding.

Maybe it's your bathroom drawers. Maybe it's your pantry, which is what I just did yesterday, a space that is maybe embarrassing and out of control. And you ignore it while you sit on the couch and watch TV at night. No, no. we're not ignoring it. Today is the day we take action. You are going to spend 30 minutes to 45 minutes today with me in your ear making a difference, putting things in the trash, taking out the recycling, and hopefully, not hopefully, definitely, removing items from your home forever that you don't

use, you don't love, and they are not earning their keep. Are you ready? Get up. You're not allowed to sit and get started. If you were thinking about a space at the end of your day, if you're thinking, you get home from work and you're like, oh, I should do XYZ, that is stealing your mental energy, your capacity. It is making you emotionally and physically exhausted, just thinking about that space. So what if you stop thinking and today's the day you start doing? And if you're decluttering in that space and you find yourself like, why can't I just let this dumb thing go. Like, why is this hard? I got you, friend. This is what we're talking about today. Why is it so hard to let go? Can we talk about the real, the most common thing that I don't usually mention? When you're

decluttering, I feel like, no, I don't even feel. Here's one of the most prominent patterns that I've noticed when I'm working with clients. They will tell me they can't get rid of anything. They even get like physically and emotionally agitated before we've even started decluttering because they're telling me, I struggle with this. I can't let go of anything. And then we will walk into a space and immediately their brain looks at all the things that are emotionally like charged. They'll look at the things that they love or they'll look at the things that are like, oh, that's identity clutter. Or ooh, I feel so guilty or ooh. And this is such as normal psychological response. Our brains kind of breeze over the actual junk, the actual trash, the things that aren't important, and we focus on the

things that are. So it feels really hard to get started and let go because we're not even starting where we should. We're not even focusing where we should, which is the easy stuff, the actual garbage, the trash. This is why I say to start with trash, because it is that pattern interruptor for our normal thought processes that without us realizing it are making us things. and focus on the things that are really important or really emotional and hard. So this is what I would suggest to you. You can say that letting go is hard and you can't get rid of anything, but have you actually tried?

Have you walked into that space? Have you opened a drawer? Have you pulled something out? And have you looked at it and said, is this special? The answer is no. And I know it's no. But that's what I want you to do right now. Look and touch every single thing in the same.

space that's driving you crazy. If you were a little confused because I'm telling you to touch all your stuff, that's because when I'm working with clients, I tell them not to touch their things, especially bees. I don't let bees touch, but they have to touch because I'm not there. Anyone who has an emotional attachment to their belongings, as soon as you touch it, you're going to feel even more emotions with that item. So yeah, I don't love when decluttering with clients. don't want them touching things, but I'm not with you. You're, you're there, boo. You're, you're on your own. You're going to have to touch something to move it. You're going to have to touch something to put it in a trash bag. You're going to have to touch something to put it in a donation bin. So it will be emotional for you.

It will be tough. But here's what I want you to think. If you're picking something up and immediately it gives you all the feels and you want to go down memory lane, I want you to pump the brakes and say, this is an object I'm not dealing with right now and put it down and pick up something else. Because there will be things that are actually not emotional in your stuff. There will be empty boxes. There will be gum wrappers. There will be something that you're like, I forgot I even own this. What the heck is this? It's just mixed with all those emotionally charged items. So ignore the emotional stuff to start. Literally ignore it, put it immediately back down. Do not allow yourself to start reminiscing and going down memory lane. Don't let yourself to start organizing.

Just identify the next thing and ask yourself, can that go? And the answer is probably yes. One of the reasons you're struggling to let go is because your brain is automatically looking for the things that matter most. You will look at a pile in a mess and your brain is zeroing in on the thing that is the most special, the most sentimental, or the hardest to let go of. This is just human nature. This is just what I've found that is really annoying when I'm working with people who say they can't get let go of anything. When we actually get started, they can let go of an entire truck load of stuff in an hour. You don't need another person. You need to follow the rules. You need to go to the space and say, okay, I'm not going to allow myself to get, go down memory lane.

I'm not going to allow myself to start making piles. I'm not going to allow myself to run down this decision, fatigue, crazy cycle. The only thing I'm allowed to do is say yes or no to an item. And if you say yes to 50 items and only no to one, I don't care. The one is leaving and that's all that matters. But you've got to do the work. You actually have to make a decision really quickly. The decision isn't, what would I use this for?

Where should it go? How should I organize it? The decision is, is this worth keeping? Yes or no. No one's judging you if 90% of the stuff is yes. But I am judging you if you don't actually do the thing. If you don't actually pick up the item and make a decision on it. And that is what most people are doing.

They're just avoiding making the decision all. together because they think it's going to be hard. I'm giving you permission right now while you're doing it. If everything's a yes, I don't care. Do the work anyways. Try. Get in there and ask yourself yes or no. No pressure. No pressure to let go because I know there's going to be things that you're going to let go of. So you've got past this first phase. Like all the trash is gone. Now you're left with only hard stuff. What do you do now? What do you do when you get to this point where every thing is like so stressful to make a decision on. So there's lots of different triggers, like things that when it come out, I don't even like calling it clutter at this point because to me,

clutter feels like just trash or garbage. This is good stuff that you have here that you have to make a decision on. So let's just get that right out of the way. This is excess of good stuff. So one of the biggest issues that I see, that's like a stumbling block or a roadblock for people who are decluttering is identity clutter. So you've got this good stuff that also is tied to your self-worth. So if you're a book lover, you have like a million books, you pride yourself on the fact that you're well read. You love the fact that you're a book lover. You love the fact that you read. So an extension of that means that every book feels like a piece of your soul. It feels important. It feels like your identity.

And letting go of that, your brain can get confused and make it feel like you're letting go of the fact that you're a book lover. So there's like this disconnect there. We have to keep every book because books are, I cherish them. They are important. But the reality of the situation is you can still be a book lover without keeping every book you've ever read. In fact, if you are a book lover and you're hoarding books, you'll never.

read again that you didn't even really like without sharing them with other book lovers. Are you really a book lover? I mean, part of this is you cherishing the ones of the best of the best and passing on the ones for other people to love and enjoy. You can be a book lover with one bookshelf filled with books. So when we can really have the self-awareness to kind of break that pattern and say like, yes, I'm still a book lover, but this book sucked. So it's going in the donation pile, right? It's just, it's realizing if everything is special, nothing is special. And when it comes to identity clutter, we have to really get rational with ourselves and remind ourselves that we are still that we are still a crafter, we are still a great mom, we are still whatever it is that you are,

without keeping every item that reinforces that identity. And can we just, for a side note, I mean, let's share the books we love the most with other book lovers. Like, why are we keeping them on the shelf collecting dust, man? Let's share the love. Let's share the passion. Let's spread it around. That, I think, is the best way to kind of embrace that identity of ourselves.

You know what I think is really cool? I read from a psychologist named Roe. Russell Belk that he identified this long ago that this is an extension of self. So physical belongings that reinforce our identity are an extension of self, an extension of our self-worth, an extension of our self-esteem, an extension of how we want the world to see us. And so losing those items feels like losing a part of oneself. And why I think this is so cool is, this is something that I just naturally noticed as a pattern with helping clients, but we have these like fancy smart psychologists that noticed this too, and that this is a real phenomenon that

happens in our brain that make letting go really hard. There's also another component of this that I guess is like social signaling. So I've had a few clients who had a lot of books. They had a lot of textbooks and they had a lot of like smarty pants self-help books but when we really dug deep they felt growing up that they weren't very smart and so their book collection they feel like like is an extension and reinforces their intelligence to other people or you'll see people who are really into fashion and have a lot of clothes again they want to project the world that maybe they are doing well or they have money or beauty. I mean, it's kind of gross and icky when you dig deep because I don't think people are realizing that they're doing this. It's why dudes with tiny peckers

drive sports cars. Like it really is, it is us trying to overcompensate on this subconscious level that we don't even realize with physical belongings. There's something in ourselves that maybe we are feeling like we're lacking or we just, you know, want other people to see us in a certain way. And we're using stuff as the train to get there, which is when you think about it, man, kind of depressing. I definitely feel like social media doesn't help. And I think marketing knows this about people and they sometimes can target your insecurities. So like makeup lines will pick this beautiful, you know, oh my gosh, angelic person wearing their makeup. And the message is if you buy this, you can be more like this too.

Or if you buy these clothing, you will be more like this. Like it's selling a lifestyle. It's selling this, I don't know, this unattainable thing through products, which we know never. I could buy the best jeans on the market. My butt will never look like a Kardashian's butt. And yet, we fall for this crap, don't we? I mean, every time you see some dude driving down the road and he's got a really loud

engine and he's got a sports car, are any woman ever thinking, hmm, he must be handsome? No. Do you know what we're thinking? All of us. We're thinking teeny weeny-weeny-pini. That's what we think. Right?

Like, it's not even working. It's not even, the stuff isn't even working. I see someone like head to toe in Gucci. I wouldn't even know what Gucci look like. But you know what? I'm not thinking, oh, wow, they must be so fancy and have money. I think, what are they overcompensating for? Which I think is why this like old money trend is coming back in where people are realizing

this and no longer trying to flaunt and show off things because at the end of the day, it's doing the opposite anyways. It really, really is. I follow an influencer online. Oh my gosh, she's so beautiful. She's actually a friend of mine. But every day she posts her outfit of the day and she's looking gorge. Sometimes they're from Walmart. Like they're not expensive. But I've never seen her repeat an outfit. So then I'm over here making YouTube videos like I've worn this shirt like six times. Should I go shop? Do I need more clothes? Should we never wear the same thing more than once? This isn't the Met Gallagher. up in here, yet we still feel pressure to kind of do what we see people doing. It's boncadogs. The only thing this is leading to is more stuff, really. The only thing this is leading to is more clothes in our closet, more books on our bookshelf, more makeup in our makeup drawer. It's all just, because at the end of the day, it comes down to like, buy this thing to feel this way or buy

this thing so other people see you in this way. and we're stuck in this loop and it's it's got to stop i think it's really hard to part with the things once we have them because part of us feel tricked into buying them in the first place we feel like oh that was a total waste of money or i shouldn't have done that and now we have to deal with those feelings in that shame that either it didn't work out and we still have a teeny peony even though we drive the sports car or we still have a flabby butt even though we bought the the genes or we still have and now we're like ugh it feels bad right or it's the other side of it it feels like we're giving up if we're letting it go it feels like we've almost failed because we

didn't achieve this desired effect and now we just have all this stuff which is like broken empty promises to ourselves and so it's easier to just avoid it's easier to just not make a decision than to have to deal with the truth So I've talked a lot about identity clutter, but let's switch over to fantasy clutter because I think sometimes I do feel like these two can definitely overlap. So identity clutter is stuff that is a representation of the part of us we're most proud of. Fantasy clutter is the physical belongings that represent the person we wish we were or the person we want to be. You'll see this a lot with people who buy a lot of fitness. gear like me, you know, the yoga balls and the workout gear and the Lulu Lemon pants for some reason. Or you'll get protein powder, you'll get all the shaky things that you'll never actually do. All of that is like fantasy clutter. But it can also be the clothing.

It can also be the makeup. Because maybe we wish we were more like that person on social media that we see. So we buy things as like a conduit to get there. except it doesn't work. And we're left with these sort of reminders that were not good enough. That really at the end of the day is what fantasy clutter is. And it can even be nostalgic, like nostalgic. It can even be maybe a lot of things from your childhood that isn't sentimental necessarily to you, but you're like, but I want to do that. Same thing my grandma did with me with my kids one day. You know, I want to be this person. I wish I was more like my great

Aunt Hilda because she taught me to crochet. So we have all this crocheting stuff that someday will do. So that's kind of like a double whammy, right? Because it's fantasy clutter, but it also is that sentimental memory type clutter. Sometimes these types of things definitely can overlap. And when they overlap, it makes it even harder. But what is important is you to have the awareness to realize what's really going on here. I'd love it if you looked at your items and you actually identified what type of clutter it is. Why is this hard for you? Give a name to it. Give an explanation because that's the first step in overcoming the emotional and getting to a spot where you can be really logical.

Another form of clutter that I see that's really common is that scarcity clutter, that uncertainty clutter. And especially when we have times in the world that feel very scary, right? I'm not going to get political, but uncertain times with like, you know, just a lot of, you look at the news and it's just all depressing crap. Like it's just like, oh, it's doom and gloom. We can have this fear response. This is so much anxiety, but we have no control over what's going on in the outside world that our brains then go to, well, you can control your stuff.

And you can control and be prepared in your home. So we have a tendency to start just in case stockpiling, perhaps, or holding on to things because of this underlying fear and anxiety, it makes us feel a little bit better. Yeah, you know, we could have World War III tomorrow. it's a good thing I got this jar of screws. Can't let that go because you never know. They could maybe stop making screws one day. There is some truth in this. And that's what's so dangerous about scarcity mindset because of course there could always be this huge doom and gloom, this like Armageddon type thing in the future. You could lose your job and you could get cancer and you could have like horrible things happen where you're like, man, I wish I had that screw that I could sell for 10 cents.

But the reality is, in that situation, if you were in this insane situation, 99% of the stuff that you're holding on to would not be helpful to you anyways. And what's really fascinating, anytime I've worked with a hoarding situation, it always has the underlying fear. That's it. It's always the fear and the anxiety. And anxiety is like a monster. The more you give into it, the bigger it gets. The more you are like, oh yeah, that is really scary. I better hold on to this just in case. The bigger your fear gets. The more things really do feel even height, like heightened doom and gloom. So you tend to hold on to even more. And it's like this vicious cycle. The only way to defeat anxiety and fear is with a punch to the face.

It's a monster, you've got to beat it down. We call this exposure therapy. But this is why I like start with trash or start with something small. Literally, it's going to feel uncomfortable. It is going to feel scary. But in your brain somewhere back there, you know you don't need it. And when you are brave enough to take it and put it in the trash or put it in the donation, box, you will feel the anxiety and I just want you to sit with it till it lessens and then move on.

Because when you do it again and again and again, here's what I can promise you. Every time it gets easier because you are beating it down. The worst thing you can do for this scarcity mindset, this fear-based response is give in and keep something that you know, you know. No, you shouldn't. But you don't want to feel that uncomfortable feeling tomorrow. That uncomfortable anxiety will be even worse. This type of fear, the scarcity mindset makes my job really, really hard when working with clients

because of something called loss aversion. So the human brain feels loss way more intensely than it feels gains. So I can say to you, oh, you're going to gain back this beautiful clutter-free space, or you're going to have more time in your day, you're going to be happier. But we don't feel that as intensely as we feel, but you're going to take my jar of screws, or you're going to take my extra vacuum parts, or you're going to take that kid's toy that's broken that my kids haven't played with in a year. That feels more magnified than the gains, even though.

oh, it's obvious the gains are so much bigger and better. And what I've honestly found is all the talk in the world will not convince you. I could say this till I'm blue in the face. I will never convince you. The only way you will be convinced is through proving it to yourself. That's it. This is how we overcome this. We realize we have to be proved that the gain.

are more impactful than the losses by doing the work. I need you to trust yourself and start taking steps because you know, I know you know, you wouldn't be listening to the Clutterberg podcast if you didn't know. You want this. You know this is what you need to do. You know this is what's best for you. You just need to push yourself, take that step and make it happen. And it's not going to happen overnight, but it happens with one stupid. thing at a time. I got a little fired up there. I don't want to go too far into scarcity mindset and decision fatigue. I just did recently two podcasts, one about each of those subjects where I went a lot more in depth. But while you're listening to this, I do want you to be mindful of decision

fatigue because the more decisions you're making, whether it's keep or go, which pile it should go in, Lord, stop making piles. Every time you're making all these decisions, you're going to be worse at making decisions, which means you're going to start making mistakes. And the mistake isn't what you think. The mistake is you're going to decide to keep things because you're feeling overwhelmed, because you're feeling like emotionally exhausted, because you're just like, I can't even know, I can't. So we don't make a decision at all. The decision is actually to avoid making the decision. you're so worried you're going to make a bad decision and you're going to regret letting something go, but that's actually not the bad decision. The bad decision is keeping the item. I have been doing this

for 15 years and I will always ask the same question when I follow up with my clients three months later. Do you regret anything you let go of? And do you want to know what the answer is every single time? No. You will not regret the things you let go of. You will only regret not getting started earlier. But you have to prove this to yourself by doing the work. The other thing I want you to really be conscious of while you're doing this is familiar things are comfortable, even when they're really bad for you. And that can be clutter.

It can be excess. It can be stuff. when we are constantly surrounded by piles and all of our things, it is sort of like this security blanket. It's something that we see every day, so it's just become our normal. And interrupting that and change can be really hard and feel wrong. And I always say that this is a lot like when I take down my Christmas decorations in January, you know, I'm like, ooh, the house feels so empty and I hate it. And I immediately want to go to the store and buy a bunch of stuff and fill it back up. because there's a wrongness when you declutter in the beginning.

There really is. There's an emptiness. There's a feeling of like, this doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel right. But this is part of the process. And so I would encourage you to when you're feeling those thoughts to like realize, oh, this is just my brain being dumb and sit with it for a week. And you'll no longer have that aversion to change.

As you're going through your stuff right now, I want you to think, why is this hard for me? Like, let's see if you can identify your own sort of trigger. Is it because it represents your identity? Is it because you've got this like fear of the unknown? Is it a crippling fear of making a mistake? Doing something wrong. Having regret. Is it sentimental?

Is it nostalgic? Is it fantasy? Is it who you wish you would be? Is it that it feels like a waste of money and you're not sure if you have money to replace it? Is it the pressure from society? It could be a combination of all of these things. But taking the time, taking a moment to reflect and have that self-awareness of why this stuff is hard is so important to overcoming the struggle. I know you're decluttering, but I'm going to give you like a quick homework.

Grab a pen and a piece of paper if you can. If you can't, it's okay, just put them in your mind. But if you can, I want you to write down three things that you're holding on to for reasons, things that you know you should probably let go of. But for some reason, you just can't write these down. Is it Grandma's China? Is it your kids' artwork from when they were little? Like, what is the things?

Three things. And then try to identify the why. I'm going to take a quick break from all the emotion to thank today's podcast sponsor, Caraway. I'm not a person who loves making dinner, but when I use my Caraway pots and pans, I do feel like a grown-up. Not only are they gorgeous, but they're very heavy-duty. They're super easy to clean, but my favorite thing is the giant saucepan because not only can I fry like five whole chicken breasts or steaks because it's so big, but because it's a saucepan, I could add the liquid and that I can put the entire thing right in the oven. So it's also

oven safe, which means less dishes for me. Plus, I just throw it in the dishwasher too. Totally dishwasher safe. I think the best part about Caraway, though, is that they're non-toxic. Right now, you could try Caraway. You can go to Carawayhome.com slash clutterbug. Use the code clutterbug to get an additional 10% off your purchase. Again, that's carawayhome.com. slash clutterbug or just use the code clutterbug. So let's get to the good part. Okay, self-awareness only gets you so far. I mean, it gets you pretty far, but how do we actually deal with it?

Like, what steps do we take to start getting this stuff out and overcoming our mental struggles? I'm going to reiterate that I am in no way as psychiatrist or mental health expert or therapist in any way. But we're going to play this like fun therapy game for a second, okay? So this is a very helpful step in changing your mindset and changing your brain when it comes to your stuff. And it's called the 3E framework. And the first E is exposure, which means you're exposing yourself to all the feelings. Like literally pick up the item and allow yourself to feel the feeling. Is it like, oh my gosh, this is sentimental or this was my mother's or is it like, this was my mother's?

Or is it like this is something I wish I would be or this is something that represents. Like, you know, all the things we talked about. Like you, I want you to feel the feeling. I want you to be able to, like, really intentionally be able to identify by exposing yourself to the feeling. So while exposure is like the past and the future kind of feels, let's get to the next E, which is Evaluate. Evaluate is where you're evaluating the current value of the item.

What is it really doing or adding to my life today? Not someday in the future what it could be or what it was in the past, but evaluate in this moment what it's doing for you. And then the final E is exit, which is hopefully getting things out. But I also realize that this is really hard. So exit, think of it as like an exit strategy, which could include a transition period. for this item. And I don't love this for everything, but I will say if something is very highly charged and has a lot of anxiety, it is extremely helpful to do the pack up method, or some people call it

the time will tell, or the quarantine method, which means it's not leaving your home, but it's leaving the space. You are making the decision that this is something you're pretty sure is not serving you. You've evaluated it. You're like, this isn't actually giving me anything, but I'm still afraid. So I'm going to put it in the box and on the side of the box I'm going to make sure I'm listing exactly what's going inside and then give myself a date six months from now. And if I haven't missed anything in there, if I haven't thought about it, if it hasn't been like, oh my gosh, I'm so sad that thing is gone, it's going to be a lot easier. to now go back to that box and say, yeah, the decision has been made. The decision has been made by time.

That can be extremely helpful to help with the exit part of the 3E framework. Another strategy that I actually really love, especially when working with other people, but this is also something you can do for yourself, is because loss aversion, right, where it's like, ooh, taking from me feels so much harder. than gain, what if instead of identifying things that can leave, you identify the things that are staying? This is extremely helpful in spots like doom boxes or doom bags where you've, you know, gone to a conference or you're quickly tidied because company is coming over and you've just thrown a bunch of random stuff together. If you give yourself to the count of 20 and go through that and just pick out the things that are like, yes, this is a definite yes, yes, yes, yes, it's a lot easier now for you to say, oh, I've just gained so much so the rest of this stuff could go. I use this technique all the

time with children. I'll go through the toys and I'll identify a lot of the things where the parents will that they're pretty sure the kids don't like or don't want to play with. But if you were to just say, I'm taking all these toys from you, every single child on the planet will revolt. Okay? It'll be like, no, you're not taking anything. But if you lay them out and you say, is there anything here, we're going to share all these toys. But is there anything here that's really special for you that you want to keep? The child will happily go and pick one or two things out, feel like they're gaining, and then the stuff that's leaving is no longer hard. So this is a way to put a sort of positive spin on decluttering, especially if you're working with someone else that can help you

through this process. They can identify a lot of things that they think should go. You can go through and then pick the things that stay, and then the rest is going to be so much easier to say goodbye to. Just to recap, I just want to remind you that decluttering, first of all, is not hard. It ain't rocket science up in here. You don't need a PhD to put your stuff in the trash. So stop over-complicating it. Stop telling yourself you're bad at it. Stop making it into this huge, ugly, scary monster,

and start having a little grace for why it feels hard. for you and that understanding and realize that this is a journey. This is something that's going to require effort and you'll have to slowly build up your muscles. But at the end of the day, you will be so glad you did it because you're going to gain space. You're going to gain happiness. Your life is going to feel easier. You're going to be proud of your home. And more importantly, you're going to be proud of yourself. Everything in life that you've done that is the most worth it was hard to get there. So roll up your sleeves, punch that anxiety right in the face, and do something today to make yourself proud. And if you want to see some of my struggles,

because I often show you like the, this is so great, but the reality is behind the scenes, sometimes things have been really hard. I'm putting out a video on my YouTube channel that shows these struggles that I've had with past clients. When I'm doing makeovers, things I don't usually share with you. The good, the bad, the ugly. A lot of the ugly. So make sure you check out that video. Let's take a quick break and thank today's podcast sponsor, Cozy Earth. About five years ago, I got my first set of Cozy Earth sheets. And let me tell you, switching to luxury sheets had an amazing result. I've bought multiple sets now, but my original set still looks like brand new. Definitely, it feels amazing to treat yourself to something as simple as good quality

luxury sheets, but they're not luxury prices. In fact, they also have a 100-night sleep trial, and they have a 10-year warranty. So if they rip or run or just you don't love, Love them. Ten years warranty on sheets. Say what. Yep, they're that good. Right now, you can go to cozyearth.com and use my exclusive code clutterbug for 40% off. That's bonkers. CozyEarth.com. Use the code clutterbug for 40% off. Now, it's time for my favorite part of the podcast, which is Talk to Cass. And we're going to start with Lexi. Now, I want to reinforce that I have not heard these before. Like, I'm hearing them for the first time that you are, too. My producer has put them in to the show notes. So let's hear from Lexi. Hi, Cass.

I'm Lexi from Arizona. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD. And like ADHD, it affects my executive functioning. And some days get really bad and it's debilitating. and I used to feel like a failure because of it because I couldn't keep the house clean and because I had a doom room and everybody else seemed like they had their crap together

and I didn't but I'll never forget the day that I heard the podcast when you said that you used to fight your brain your ADHD brain and you stopped one day and instead of trying to fix your brain, you started working with it and you created systems that worked for your brain. And I cried when I heard that because it helped me feel self-compassion for the first time in a long time. There are some messages that you share that really helped me a lot. Like five minutes matters, do it crappy.

and we're not worried about your swimming techniques when you're drowning. That gave me the permission that I needed to tackle my doom room. I used to overconsume a lot. I bought a lot of stuff for comfort during hard times, and it built up, and there wasn't even a path in my doom room. And now I've finally gone through my stuff, And, you know, I got the permission from you to let go of it. And it's just helped me so much.

And I work with my brain now, and I have systems set up that are for my worst days. And that means that not all of them are going to be cricket organizing solutions like they used to be, but that's what my brain needs right now. And my home isn't perfect, but it feels a lot calmer and it's functional and it reflects me. Thank you so much for helping me to stop fighting my brain and start working with it. You really changed my life. Thank you. Oh, you know what?

This is like, man, stop getting emotional. Thanks a lot, Heidi. Heidi's my producer. That's so nice. Lexi, thank you so much for sharing. It just, it means so much to me to be able to like actually hear, I know what it's like, man. And it's so crazy how our stuff affects our self-esteem and how it perpetuates that cycle of we feel like we buy more stuff to feel that immediate, maybe momentary happiness and then we just oh it's this lingering i hate myself because of my environment and i'm so

happy to hear that you broke free and i hope everyone listening is like inspired because there is light at the end of the tunnel one step at a time you can get to a place where you not only love your home but you love yourself but it starts with letting go and now we have a question from kim Hey Cass, greetings from the Netherlands. First of all, thank you so much for what you do. It's been really helpful in at least starting to tackle the mess I'm in. But I have a bit of a problem, and I hope you could give your thoughts on it. I have both ADHD and autism, and they contradict each other often,

and this brings some problems with organizing. My ADHD side is a total butterfly, very visual. I'm super messy. But at the same time, due to my autism, It's just too much when it comes to stimulate. Like as an example, I had like the 4x and it used to be all open. It looked messy, very visual.

But at least I used everything. But it's just stressed me out. So I bought the inserts and I loved it because no more stress. Everything looked clean, but I also no longer used anything that was in the calyx. So I need things to be visual but I need things to be hidden. Like I do not know what to do. Could you help me? Could you help me, please?

The struggle is real, Kim. Isn't that so fascinating? Yeah, I 100% know what you're talking about. So when we see it, we immediately have that visual cue to use it, but also when we see a lot of things, it's like, oh, super overwhelming. So I have two things that I know will help with you. And I love this so much. So we can have a rotating, stimulating, stimulation. So what I mean by this is I used to do this. So I love crafting, but I forget to craft,

even though I'm a ladybug. But then if I wanted to knit or crochet, I would just have those supplies out and visual and everything else. And then I would have an alarm on my phone to like rotate the visual. So maybe you want to do a puzzle and you love puzzles. You don't have to see every puzzle. What if you take out the next puzzle you want to do when you have spare time and that's the only thing that's visual and the rest can be tucked away. But then you also have that auditory alarm to remind you to swap it out. You can do this with knickknacks, photos, all of these things so that you still can enjoy everything and be reminded of all the thing you have, just not all at once. The other thing that's very helpful to combine, basically what you're saying is you're both

visual and hidden at the same time. So how you can combine these two things is with labels. and size matters, ladies, large labels that you can see from across the room, but don't be afraid to make them beautiful. If you're watching this podcast, I have shelving behind me that has labels in this beautiful script font. It's my favorite font. When I look at that, I'm reminded of what I have, but it also feels beautiful. So it doesn't feel like it's overstimulating me. So a beautiful large label can be that wonderful bridge between hidden and visual. Next, we have a story from Mo. Hey, Cass, I just listened to your episode on decluttering memories.

And I took your advice while I was listening. I started going through some boxes that turned up, they reemerged into my life when my parents decluttered their house and was like, you can have your stuff back. And I knew I could get rid of a lot of what was in there because I'd forgotten I even had it. But I went through first notebooks from high school and college. And a lot of that I did not need to save. I saved a few things like reading lists from a couple of my favorite classes. But my favorite thing that I did not even know was in there was I had my graduation cap from college.

And I had written a message on the top of it in chalk. And it's a quote. It says, what lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us, Henry David Thoreau. And so I just thought that was the perfect message from my past self to my current remembering self. I love that, Mo. Thank you so much. And honestly, this reminds me of one of the things that I never talk about that is the coolest part of decluttering, which is you are going to find awesome stuff.

It is going to feel like Christmas morning. Like there's this fear of, oh, I'm going to let go of something really, really special. Guess what? When you have excess and bins and boxes, you are missing out on your cherished possessions because you're forgetting you even have them or where they are. It's through the process of decluttering that we often find these amazing things like your cap or people have found their wedding rings they thought they lost or something just truly special from a loved one who has passed. And now that can be given a place of honor and respect. Now that can be cherished because all the excess that was covering it up is gone.

So decluttering, yes, it is letting go, but it's all. also gaining, oftentimes more than just the space and the happiness, but really cool stuff that makes it feel like Christmas morning too. Now let's have a question from Daniela. Hi, Cass, my name is Daniela. I live in Sweden, Europe. I found you in 2021, and I was really sick at the time. All I could do was watch TV, and I found you on YouTube, and I got really hooked. So I marinated my brain with your wisdom regarding decluttering. And when I got to a stage of better health, I decluttered everything I own, not everything, but 50 to 60%. And today I am good enough with doing a 10 minutes pickup and it resets my apartment.

But the days where I've been to the hospital or been in therapy or rehab, I don't always have the energy when I get back, or I never do, actually, because it's really exhausting, and I don't even have the energy to put things in the dishwasher. And so my kitchen gets kind of cluttered, and my entryway gets kind of cluttered. And I don't know how to design my space in regards for this extreme tiredness that hits me. And I would love to see it get a little bit better. So please send the tips you have for your worst days, designing for your worst days, especially kitchen and entryway and in general. I do love everything that you do.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing everything. It makes me so happy. Sending you the best. Bye. Danielle, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. I definitely have some tips with you for you. First of all, who cares sometimes? You know what I'm saying? Who? The freak cares. When you're sick and you're

just not feeling it, yeah, things are going to get messy. That's real life. That's normal. It's not always going to be perfect. The part that matters is when you are feeling energized again, you can go back and reset it a lot faster than you could before you decluttered. But I am going to give you advice. I have lots of days where I just don't, my brain is checked out and my body is also checked out. I just fill the sink with hot soapy water and then throw all the dishes in. And yeah, it gets cold and gross and then I got to stick my arm in later to like pull the plug.

But it's fine, okay? Because at least they're not on the counter. So that's one like, yes. Also lots of baskets where I can, when I'm not, when I'm on my, worst day. I just toss things in, whether it's my shoes, keys, everything, at least it's contained. And then it's just that basket that I have to deal with later. But I also want to say that decluttering is not like a project that's one and done. So when I start noticing the mess is like more, it's creeping back in on a more regular basis. I know I have to do another trash bag therapy.

I know I have to go through and declutter again. Because even though I declutter, even though I declutter, even you decluttered 50% of your stuff, you've slowly acquired a little bit without realizing it again. So you've just got to do these regular maintenance declutters to keep it easy. That really is the secret. So be kinder to yourself, Daniela, and just throw the dishes in a sink. Also, paper plates. I'm going to be real with you. We have a lot of paper plates nights in my home where I just can't anymore.

So we use paper plates and people, oh, the horror, the environment. And Susan, Susan, my brain matters more. Okay? I just need to have some grace. So yeah, absolutely. You know what? I've thrown out a pan that I couldn't scrub there. I said it. It's fine. Whatever. It was baked on. Someone should have put parchment paper down. Joe made ribs. The barbecue sauce hardened on. I'm like, I could get a cookie sheet from the dollar store for $5. Am I going to scrub this? Heck no. Right in the trash it went. No regrets. Oh, and lastly, we have anonymous submission. Not sure the name. Let's listen to this question.

Hey, Cass, so I just have a quick question. What do you do on those days that you feel super all over the place? You just cannot think straight and you don't know even where to begin, but you have a million things on your to-do list. You know, you have to get the laundry done, of course, the dishes, but also you have other things that you would love to tackle and you just never. seem to find the time. Also, another question I have is, what do you do when you declutter, but you still continue to find more ways to add more clutter? How do you really keep yourself consistent with, you know, keeping the clutter out, keeping your zones clear? I love the hot lava, but sometimes there are just things I don't know where to put so and I'm in a hurry and I just put them somewhere.

So yeah, those are my two questions. I would love to have some maybe maybe some more guidance on how to tackle those days. Thanks, Cass. All right, love that. I'm going to say honestly what I do, I have random bins and I have a whole cabinet that's just for random. It's for those days where I'm like, I don't know where this should go, but also it's for the days where. I know this belongs in the garage, but my lazy butt is in no way going to walk all the way to the garage to put this screwdriver back. So I just throw it in the random bin. And this is so helpful

because it at least has a home. I'm not going to have to look for things, but it's only one home. So I'm not throwing it in. Like, I'm not making every space random because I have a designated random. So this is actually extremely helpful, especially for us ladybugs that tend to shove and hide when we feel super overwhelmed. The other thing is like, okay, so you asked so many questions there. There's lots of times my brain is just taxed and overwhelmed and I go into paralysis mode where I just don't do anything because there's too many things. So I love brain dumping. I love circling the things that are most important, but sometimes we can't eat our frog and we can eat ice cream instead. Sometimes we don't have to start with the hard crows.

crappy stuff like laundry or dishes. We just have to get moving. So what is something that is on your list that's like fun, maybe even frivolous, maybe even dumb? Like, I don't know, like cutting some flowers in your garden and bringing them in and putting them in a vase or giving yourself permission to have a little dance party for 10 minutes. Like what's the fun, easy thing on the list? Because our brain is always like, we can't do that before we do this. But sometimes, instead of eating a frog, it's okay to eat ice cream. The only thing that matters is that we're up and moving and the momentum will keep us going. Eat That Frog is this productivity book by Brian Tracy. It's one of the most popular productivity books ever. And it's based on a quote by Mark Twain,

who said, if every single morning the first thing you do is eat a frog, the rest of your day is going to seem easy. So you should always eat the biggest, ugliest, grossest task first. Get it out of the way. Don't procrastinate because then the rest of the day is going to feel like, oh, easy, because I ate the frog. And that is helpful, except if you're procrastinating eating the frog because it's so ugly and gross. Sometimes eat the frog is helpful, but also sometimes eating ice cream is just as helpful. If you want to be part of the podcast and you want to record a message or a question, go to clutterbug.com slash talk to Cass and make a recording today. Don't forget to check out that video on my YouTube channel tomorrow about my struggles behind

the scenes. And I hope you're proud of yourself for whatever you got done today, my friend. And I'll see you next time.