Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Are you ADDICTED to Procrastination?! | Clutterbug Podcast # 178

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Did you know that procrastination is actually addicting?! Avoiding stressful situations (or hard work) actually releases a chemical in our brain that makes us feel good (for a fleeting moment). We can get ourselves hooked on this self-destructive behaviour without even realizing it! The good news is, this is an easy bad habit to break! In today's podcast, I'll share why we procrastinate and an easy and effective way to stop doing it for good!    You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's talk about procrastination. What it is, like the scientific reason why we procrastinate and how we can finally stop. Hey, Clutterbugs and welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. Today I wanted to talk about procrastination because not only is this one of the biggest struggles I had for the majority of my life, but I've kind of found some ways of overcoming it, which are awesome. but it's something that I'm really struggling with today when it comes to my daughter. My oldest daughter, Izzy, is now the queen of, like I've passed her the crown. She now is the queen of procrastination. And I think for a lot of us who struggle with procrastination, we have this sort of idea that it's just our personality. It's something that we do.

It's like a moral failing. We label ourselves a procrastination. and this is definitely something that she's doing. And why? Why do we do this? We know science has shown this isn't actually a personality trait. It's not genetic. Believe it or not, it isn't something that we pass down to our children. But you will see that people who tend to procrastinate, tend to have children who procrastinate. And the reason, the real reason of why is it all comes down to anxiety or the majority of the time it comes down to anxiety what procrastination really is is a defense mechanism in our brain that stops us from doing things that are unpleasant so not only is this like

the work sucks and i don't want to that's unpleasant but also doing the work even if we enjoy it if we're in this mindset of i'm going to fail anyways it's so big of a job i'll never get it done. This is going to be so much work. Oh my gosh, I don't know where to start. We are, our brain is spinning. We call this kind of the worry train that we're on. It's like, whoop, who, next up, anxiety, bill. And when we're in this sort of downward spiral of all these negative self-talk about ourselves, about doing the thing we know we have to do, we feel mentally and physically exhausted. So yes, our brain is telling us to avoid the thing because that sucks and it's more fun to do this fun dopamine amazing thing like scroll the internet or do something fun. But also we're avoiding

that because a lot of the times it's exhausting, overwhelming and almost painful emotionally and physically because we've kind of have that. We've built it up in our minds that we're going to fail anyways. So we're going to talk about all these today, how we can actually overcome this bad habit. And I think that's the first real thing that I want to talk about is changing our mindset and the way we talk to ourselves about procrastination. That's the first way to really change it. So I'm going to give you an example. I feel like bad. I'm going to throw my daughter under the bus here. but she's almost 17. She's in grade 11. And in her high school, instead of exams, a lot of the times they'll have like a big year end project, something huge that they have to work on. And she's had

six weeks to work on this really huge big project. It's like a podcast and she had to do all this background stuff on it and research and write it all out and cite all the things. Anyways, it's worth like 30% of her mark. If she doesn't do it, she will literally fail. If she doesn't do well, she might not pass the whole credit. And it's due tomorrow morning. And she hasn't started. And she's panicking. And how could she possibly get this done?

But in her mind, she's been telling herself, I'll do it later, I'll do it later, I'll do it later, I'll do it later, I'll do it later. When I feel motivated, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. And we kind of like we push these tasks off until the absolute last minute. And then our brain is like, yeah, but the consequence of not doing this is even, and sometimes we still don't do it, right? Sometimes that pressure of last minute is what finally gives us that motivation to do it. But sometimes even then, we still can't do it and we miss out on opportunities or we potentially fail a class. You may not be this bad.

You may be procrastinating little things like decluttering or cleaning, vacuuming, making that dentist appointment that you definitely have to make or the doctor's appointment or getting those tests done or calling a friend that maybe you had a little falling out with and you want to make up with, whatever it is that you tend to procrastinate. A lot of the times when we're in the habit of doing this over and over again, it's an avoidance habit that we've slowly built upon because every time we put off something we either don't want to do or something that we're feeling a lot of stress for, we almost get rewarded. So let's get sciencey for a second when we talk about avoidance, which is what procrastination is. We're avoiding doing something.

Our brain has kind of two modes. We have that fight or flight. This is scary, run and hide, or kick butt, but we also have this whole, our brain is really designed pretty amazingly for pleasure. Right. And so when we think about doing things, even sleeping, eating, doing drugs, whatever it is, people chopping, people do things for pleasure. because doing these things releases dopamine, which is a chemical in our brain that makes us feel happy. We need dopamine to live. It's a reward system that our brain has designed. And it's why people get addicted to drugs or shopping or gambling or overeating because that rush of dopamine is something we constantly want, especially if we have ADHD. You have, chronically low levels of dopamine. So you're always looking for the hit. Now here's the thing with

avoidance or procrastination. If we are procrastinating because something's uncomfortable, something's stressful, something's a lot of work, we really is just like, oh, that seems freaking terrible. I'm going to go not do that right now. Our brain actually releases dopamine. When we allow ourselves to get out of doing the thing we know that we have to do but we don't want to do the avoidance of that gives us dopamine it's it gives us the chemical that makes us feel happy that can be insanely addicting you can be addicted to procrastinating and not even know it because you are addicted to that feeling of oh my gosh i'm so stressed this is so much you do I definitely have to do this. I'm going to do it later. That feels better. You get a dopamine hit,

which is crazy because just like a drug addiction that every time we take the drug, our life gets a little worse, right? Every time we procrastinate, yeah, we feel better for a second, but our life is worse. Way worse, honestly, if we're procrastinating over and over and over again, we get these little hits of happy as we avoid, but then we have this gnawing guilt and shame that carries with us, plus the big thing we have to do is still there and bigger and badder than ever. And so we have to first recognize that procrastination is a habit, and it's a habit that can be highly addicting. The first step to overcoming that is knowing that this isn't just your nature, that you weren't born a procrastinator and you're not going to die a procrastinator.

It's a habit like biting your nails or whatever other weird habit that you have. And it's something you can stop doing. And we stop doing it by first identifying that we do this, but also identifying our triggers. Just like when we have a bad habit of biting my nails. When do I bite my nails? When I'm stressed about something. And so we have two options. We can identify the trigger and then try to eliminate the trigger, or we can identify the trigger

and try to replace that habit with something positive. And so think about your own life and the things that you procrastinate and try to identify the trigger. Are you procrastinating, cleaning out the garage? Because you know it's going to take a really long time and you already feel like there's not enough time in your day. So is your trigger that you feel overwhelmed? worked right now? Is that a trigger for you that you have too much on your plate? So then you're

procrastinating, adding anything more? Or is it more like it's just really going to suck? And you're like, I want to avoid hard, sweaty, dirty work today. Like what is the real reason? What is the excuse that you're telling yourself of why you're going to do it later or why you're not going to do it right now? And that it's kind of again self-awareness we talk about this a lot but knowing your real trigger is important because everybody's going to have a different reason they procrastinate and every situation you might have a different reason for procrastinating i can tell for my daughter that hers has a basis of perfectionism it does which sounds bonkers but when she doesn't know exactly the path or what the end goal is going to look like 100%. She doesn't feel confident in her enough in herself to just

start. So she's putting it off until she can have the bigger picture or or get more research or whatever it is that's going to give her that more confidence that she's not going to fail. And she'd rather fail from not trying than try and fail because that feels kind of like embarrassing or that feels like yeah some it's perfectionism so that might be a trigger for you that's a lot of people's triggers and reason why they procrastinate because they don't want to do it wrong they don't want to make a mistake they don't want to not only just embarrass themselves but fail fear of failure so it feels better not to try it all or to lie to ourselves that we're going to do it later. So we kind of appease ourselves and give that little, that stress reliever. But no,

know that every time we do that, every time we put something off, we're reinforcing the habit of procrastination chemically, scientifically with like brain juice or whatever. So it makes it harder the next time to not procrastinate. Another trigger for procrastination is just general underlying stress. So stress, whatever you're stressed about, it's almost like it's a backpack we're carrying around that has some lead weights in it. It just, it's exhausting. It weighs us down. So if you're constantly worried about money, financial insecurity, or maybe you have a loved one who's sick, and it's kind of always on the back of your mind. Whatever that stress is, it's going to affect your day-to-day life. Stress definitely mimics ADHD in that it affects our prefrontal cortex. So

stress releases cortisol. It releases this stress hormone that changes the way our brain works. It makes it harder to focus. It makes us harder to prioritize tasks, do that time management, that executive function stuff that comes from our prefrontal cortex, it's affected by stress. And so when you're stressed out, it mimics ADHD. And when you have ADHD, you procrastinate. Again, very hard to focus. You have time. You just all the things, all the things that make it really easy to procrastinate. So if you are a perfectionist and you're adding on top of that stress, or you have ADHD, you're amplifying procrastination a lot because you're coming at it from the two most predominantly the biggest reasons why people procrastinate, right? It's perfectionism and stress

or ADHD. For whatever reason, the juices in the front of your brain, the executive function juices aren't working. So when you have both of those things, you're way more likely to actually procrastinate. So identify your trigger and also identify any stress in your life. Identify, are you a perfectionist? Really know yourself so that you have a better understanding of your why you're procrastinating on a big scale. Because when you know that, when you know you're not procrastinating because you're lazy, you're not procrastinating because you're a bad person, you're not procrastinating because you were born this way. You're procrastinating because you're in the habit

and that habit is created and reinforced through perfectionism, triggers, and stress. Knowing that makes all the difference because it's easier to overcome it now because you have some tools in your toolbox. You know that it's not just you, which makes it just feel more measurable. It's like you can stop and think,

Okay, am I only doing this because I'm really stressed out? And that leads to the second half of what we're going to talk about is how we can actually overcome this. But the first step is knowing why we do it in the first place. I'd like to take a second to thank Cozy Earth for sponsoring today's podcast. I was almost 40 before I treated myself to beautiful luxury sheets. Before it was just cheap sheets and I'm telling you, it changes the way I feel about my bedroom but every night when I slide into my cool, soft, gorgeous sheets, ah, it just feels absolutely

incredible. And cozy earth sheets are definitely my favorite. They're bamboo, they're ultra soft, they keep me cool at night and no matter how many times I wash them, they still look crisp, white and they're softer than ever. They were definitely named one of Oprah's favorite things for a reason and right now you can save 35% off site-wide, whether it's their blue, blankets, pillows, or their gorgeous luxury sheets. Just go to cozyearth.com and use the promo code clutterbug to save 35% off the entire site. Again, that's cozyearth.com promo code clutterbug. So how do we actually overcome procrastination?

That's what we're going to talk about right this second, because I'm not going to say you're just going to snap your fingers and no longer be a procrastinator. I still procrastinate some things. but because I have the knowledge of what's really happening in my brain and because I'm very aware of the consequences now and sort of my triggers and I just have way more self-awareness of the stress in my life and what was leading to the procrastination in the first place, I was able to flip the narrative. And what I mean by this is instead of I'm going to avoid this all together and I give myself that dopamine hit, I'm going to give myself the dopamine hit by doing a small portion of

the task. And so if I have to do something really big, like clean out the garage and I really don't want to and it sounds horrible, I know if I just avoid it all together and say I'll do it this weekend, that's bad for me. On like a, on a science, medical, brain chemical way, that's bad for me. Instead, if I say, I'm going to grab a trash bag and set a timer for five minutes and just find some garbage to go, I get to be rewarded for doing that task, which is a positive thing, instead of rewarding myself for avoidance. I'm not rewarding myself for procrastination, which is reinforcing this bad habit I want to stop. I can get that same dopamine hit in five minutes by doing something small. And so knowing this about your brain and how it works and how brain

chemistry works and all that kind of stuff makes it easier to do it. Makes it easier to like, oh, I only have to do five minutes. I don't have to do the whole thing. I know my brain is telling me to avoid because I want to feel good right now. And that's what brains are designed to do. But I can feel good by doing this little bit of something. And I'm training myself to stop procrastinating at the same time. plus I have the benefit of like moving the needle forward I've done something that's gotten me closer I don't have to do it all right now and in fact we shouldn't do it all right now because that all or nothing that procrastinate and like cram procrastinate and cram is a really toxic negative sort of funnel that we can fall into which is becomes a habit that lasts us our entire life

and in a lot of people's cases it's ruining their life it really is and So we break the cycle by identifying it and doing five minutes. And I know every expert says this. You know, every expert's like, just do it for five minutes and you just have to get started. You just have to take one small step. But what we don't understand is why it works. And that's what we're talking about today. Like why doing this technique actually works is because it's it's getting you unaddicted. It's stopping the addiction. that you have to avoidance and procrastination and replacing it with a new addiction, which is tiny bits of progress. Which addiction would you rather have?

At the end of the day, maybe, I'm going to say, I'm going to be truthful, maybe your procrastination until the very last minute and then you like cram and get it done, you are telling yourself, well, I'll get it done. That's the only way I can possibly get it done. That's a really negative toxic thing, though, for you. That keeps you in a state of stress, that keeps you on the cycle of kind of like self-hatred and negative self-talk and, oh, that's just nasty and horrible. Or we can pick away at something. And maybe, honestly, it might take you a little longer to get there.

But in my experience, it's a shortcut. It's a shortcut because we're getting up and we're taking action. And most of the, not all the time, but most of the time when I actually do something for five minutes, I feel so good. That dopamine, that rush that I get from actually getting up and doing it makes me want to do more. Get another rush. Get another hit. Like, yeah, a little bit, a little bit.

I think why I was really failing for so long was because I would try to jump into a project and take off, like, bite off more than I could chew. and then I'd feel bad because I didn't get it finished. So I never really got that hit. I never really got the good stuff, the good juices, you know, that make you feel good. So I found my sweet spot, which is like 15 minute projects, five to 15 minute projects. Most of the time, honestly, I tell people to start with five, but 15's my sweet spot number. I can do a lot in 15 minutes, but I don't feel overwhelmed. I don't get distracted. And yeah, if I, if I just keep that kind of in the back of my mind, I do really amazing stuff. And I no longer want to procrastinate because I'm not addicted to it anymore. Instead, I'm addicted to progress. It's a hack, friends, that I really hope you try.

And I know we say this mantra of five minute matters and all these things all the time, but I thought I would do this podcast today to really explain to why it works, like scientific. specifically why it works in your brain to train you to be addicted to something else. I hope you found this kind of eye opening, I guess, just a different way of looking at things. And again, this isn't going to change you overnight. You're not going to now become the person who no longer puts anything off ever. But I promise you you're going to feel better in the long run if you kind of evaluate your life in this way. and really ask yourself, why are you doing this in the first place? What are your triggers? What's

really going on? Understanding your brain chemistry and then hacking it by doing just a little bit. So I'm again going to finish this by using my daughter as an example. She has this huge project. She was supposed to spend six weeks doing. We broke it down into little bits like she has these like fingernails that are super long. And so she's trying to type and she's so stressed because because you're trying to come up with an idea and type it at the same time. And I was like, just do speech to text, right? Open up word, say what you want to say, that all out. It'll type it all out for you. And then you can go back and edit it. It's a lot easier to edit than it is to try to come up with ideas and type at the same time. So give yourself permission to take a shortcut,

talk for 15 minutes and just see what comes out. Maybe you don't have a fully fleshed plan. man, just blab it out and have word type it for you and then go back through and edit your thoughts, clean them up, make them better. And in about an hour, she was able to have this entire thing written, something that she's been procrastinating for a long time. But after she started for a few minutes with this kind of shortcut with this hack, she felt really motivated to keep going because she saw progress. She got that dopamine hit.

of getting a little bit forward. So think about the projects in your life that you are procrastinating. Are you procrastinating vacuuming? Listen, here's what I'm going to say. Get the vacuum, plug it in. You only have to vacuum the spot in your living room where you can see, like the paths that you walk. You don't have to move furniture. You don't have to dust first. You don't have to go crazy pants and like pick up a bunch a stuff off the floor, vacuum around it. Set a timer for five minutes. Just plug it in. Are you procrastinating cleaning the kitchen? Just load the sink with soapy water and let some stuff soak or wash 10 dishes. That's it. Turn on some music. You only have to wash 10 dishes and be proud of yourself for that. Because again, we're training our brain to be addicted to progress. We're not going to just sit on the

couch and scroll through our phone for a little bit because that is crack friends that's crack i want you to really look at it that way because that's basically what it is it's a negative thing that you're addicted to because you want to feel good for a second for a minute you want that hit you want that fix how do we overcome that we can go cold turkey you know what i'm saying or we can switch to healthy crack healthy crack. That is definitely hilarious, but that's how, that basically is how little bits of progress, how I see it. I get the same hit. I get the same fix. I get the same chemicals that I get from avoidance, but it's a positive. I'm addicted to progress, friends, and I want you to be too. Thanks so much for listening. I hope you're feeling inspired and I'll see you guys next time.