Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Are you stuck in the ALL or NOTHING cycle? Tough Love Podcast | Clutterbug Podcast # 115

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Are you stuck in the ALL or NOTHING cycle? This mentality can sabotage your success and happiness, but recognizing it is the first step to overcoming it. Be self-aware. Stop yourself from accumulating interest in your life.      You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you trapped in the all or nothing cycle in your life? That's what we're going to talk about in today's podcast. Hey, Clutterbugs. Welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. Today we're talking about the all or nothing cycle. And this is really going to be another tough love podcast where I'm going to get real with you. I'm not going to spare your feelings here because sometimes we need to hear hard things so that we can do hard things. We can take a really good look at ourselves. sometimes we get stuck in this trap, this routine trap, and it takes an outside perspective to really see ourselves in a new light so we can make changes to be the best person that we can be.

I think self-help is such an addicting thing. I'm always listening to self-help books and I'm always tried to improve myself in some small way. Sometimes I fail miserably, but sometimes there's this little like nugget of nudge. knowledge that I gain that just rattles around in my big old head and comes out when I really needed the most and really has an impact on my life. When I look back at where I was 10 years ago, I just, I just, I think of that Cass and what she, just how shock she would be if she could see the life that I'm living today. It's incredible. And I think we really take our growth for granted

sometimes and don't see how far we've come and how much further we could go. And so today we're talking about something that might be holding you back, that holds a lot of people back. And I think all of us are really, really guilty of this. And this is something that we're probably going to have to work on for the rest of our lives. But when we work on it, when we recognize it, acknowledge it, and take action, it can drastically improve our lives.

And that is the all or nothing mentality. And I'm going to talk about this specifically with our homes, but this applies to everything. I mean, maybe I won't just talk about it with our homes. This applies to everything. I do this with so many things. I do this with healthy eating. I'm such an all or nothing person. I remember I did a shake diet for three months where I could eat nothing, okay?

nothing I could only have three crappy tasting shakes a day and I didn't cheat because it was this all or nothing mentality that I have that a lot of us have it was like okay like I've given up pop I'm like I can't have pop of course I can have pop this is some arbitrary rule that I given myself and I have no problem never drinking a sip of of cola again whether it's diet I don't have anything that's carbonated and that's no problem but I've told myself it's all or nothing. And so there are some times where this all and nothing approach really works. But nine times out of ten, it is a detriment to us. And we do this all or nothing so many times, especially with our homes. We think, yeah, the kitchen's messy, but I'd have to take a

half an hour and clean the whole thing. So I'm just going to wait till I have time to do it properly. or oh my gosh the bird pooped in that window i'd have to wash all the windows i'm going to wash all the windows i'll wait till the weekend that i can wash all the windows or oh there's some leaves on the carpet by the back door oh i don't have time to vacuum the whole house right now i'll do it later when i can vacuum the whole house and this all or nothing approach i mean we do it with so many things but what it really is called is procrastination we're putting things off till tomorrow. We're kicking the can down the road. And especially with our chores, with whether it's laundry, we're like, oh, I should really do the laundry, but I'll wait till

Saturday and I'll make a whole day of it and I'll wash all the laundry in the house. Or I'll wash all the bedding then, or I'll do all the towels then. When it comes to our chores, it's a lot like credit card debt. Getting out of the work now, we're buying something now. And we're putting off it till later or we're putting off doing it until later. But just like credit card debt, our chores when we put them off have interest. If we put off doing the dishes till tomorrow, they're going to be harder to clean than they are today because it's going to be caked on. It's going to be harder to scrub. Every time we put something off with the intent of doing it all later or doing it perfectly later, it always makes it harder because a little bit every day is so much easier than a lot

of stuff tomorrow. And kicking our motivation down the road and kicking all the work down the road and hoping we're magically going to find the motivation and the will to do it or making it tomorrow's us's problem is never the answer. These are the lies that we tell ourselves. I'm going to do it awesome tomorrow. So it's okay for me to take the day off today or do this other thing today. The lies that we tell ourselves to get out of work, but these lies are making more work for us. This is the real truth here. This is the fundamental truth. Is this all or nothing mentality is creating more work, more hardship, and just more regret for us. And we need to be aware. of it so we can break this cycle. And the way that we break the cycle is we say to ourselves,

five minutes matters. And I know I say this all the time. And it's like, oh my gosh, gas, it's just like a one-trick pony. But listen, okay, you may not feel like doing all the dishes right now, or cleaning all of the kitchen. But you can fill the sink with soapy water and you can wash a few plates. And that's okay. And it's okay to even leave the rest. It's okay to just wash six plates right now, even though you have 60 dirty dishes on your counter. Let's get in the habit of doing a little bit of just saying it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I can embrace good enough. I can do a little bit of something today without having to do it all and to do it all perfectly.

And I've, I mean, I see this time and time again with friends and family, but so many times with clients, I'll be helping them in their home. And they'll say things like, oh, I was going to organize this bedroom. when I had the money to buy all new bedroom furniture. So in the meantime, they're just living with clothes all over the floor and everything everywhere because they're waiting until they can paint the room and redecorate it and have a fresh room, then they'll do it. Or people will say, I'll get my house under control someday when I get organized,

when I get the money to buy all the organizing products that I need. Getting your house under control doesn't need to cost you anything. Decluttering is free. and can even make you money while you sell things. You can get organized without buying any bins or baskets. Yes, it will make it prettier and maybe even a tad more functional. But you don't need that. That is your all or nothing mentality.

That's that cycle that you're stuck in. And it's a lie that you're telling yourself so you can get out of work right now. So that you can procrastinate so that you can kick that can down the road. but what you're doing every time you kick these things down the road is you're making a mountain that you have to climb tomorrow or the next day and every day you put it off makes that job harder for you in the long run it's accumulating interest and it isn't fair it isn't fair to yourself and i want you to be aware of this all or nothing mentality so that you can break this cycle now break the cycle and it comes with just doing a little bit every day if you've ever asked yourself

why is it so much easier for everyone else like why is sally down the road able to have six kids and somehow homeschool and still have a tidy house or why is my neighbor across the street why does their yard always look great even though they work all the time that's not fair or it must just be because they're better than me or they're x y z we have all of these excuses and lies we tell ourselves. But the truth is why you don't have what they have. And jealousy is a real thing that we can feel. And when we feel this jealousy that somebody else has something, it isn't that we're actually jealous of the person. It's that we're actually craving the thing that they have. We want that for ourselves. Otherwise, we wouldn't feel jealous.

But know that they have those things because they're taking action on their lives. Sally's house is clean because she's not waiting until Saturday to clean it. She's doing a little bit every day. It's easier for her than it is for you, only because she's making it easier because she's not waiting to do it all at one time. She's doing a little bit at a time. She's embracing good enough. And perfectionists, so many perfectionists,

if you really look at a perfectionist, a real true, perfectionist, they're living a life that does not look perfect on the outside. It looks like piles. It looks like procrastination. It looks like a mess, every aspect, whether it's physical or mental. And it's because perfectionism really is this all or nothing cycle. When you're a perfectionist, it's so easy for you to lie to yourself and say, I don't have time to do it perfect right now. So I'm going to put it off till I can do it perfect later. But that perfect time never comes. you're never going to have the perfect amount of time because every time you put a project off, it grows bigger. And it becomes more overwhelming and it gets more out of control. And it takes more

time, more energy, more money. Everything is more to tackle it. And so how do you, when you've already done this and you've dug yourself this huge hole and you've accumulated a lot of chore interest or home interest by putting all of these things off? How do you tackle it now? The same way you should have tackled it in the first place, and that's just doing a little bit every day. Just doing a little bit right now. Just doing five minutes right now. Just grabbing a trash bag and finding garbage in your home that can go. Finding 21 things that can donate.

Setting a timer on your stove for five minutes and just tidying your kitchen until the timer goes off. Acknowledging your all or nothing cycle and actively work to break it every single day. Self-awareness is 75% of the game of life. Just being aware of why you are doing things and that you actually are doing things, these subconscious things that we do that some of them are really beneficial and some of them are really detrimental to our happiness and where we want to be in life. and so many people live their lives just oblivious to these little habits that we have, these little nuances in our life that we're doing without even acknowledging them. And it's the acknowledgement of them.

People call it mindfulness, right? Being mindful, being in the moment, being aware of your thoughts and feelings. All these experts say these things because the truth is, it is the secret to winning at life. And it isn't a hack. It isn't a shortcut. It isn't something that's going to miraculously change your life tomorrow. It's still work, but you're working anyways. You're just working harder than you need to. So it is kind of like a little hack. It's not a miracle. It's not a wave of a magic wand. But having the self-awareness of these negative habits that you do is the biggest part of overcoming them. Just acknowledging that you're doing it, recognizing when you're doing it, and taking action to stop. So I want you to look at your own life and see if you're falling into this all or nothing cycle. Maybe you want to start a podcast, but you're telling yourself, oh, I got to take a week off work first,

or I have to wait until XYZ. Maybe you would love to, I don't know, take a little mini vacation or do something, but you're like, oh, I got to wait until I have enough money saved and I can go all the way to Paris. Maybe you just want to go to Paris, Ontario. Just kidding. That's like a little town here in Ontario where I live, but maybe you just want to book a hotel and go for the weekend somewhere close by and take a staycation. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Maybe your kitchen is completely out of control and you're waiting until you have an entire day so you can do it right. What I'm going to recommend is right now, you fill the sink with soapy water and you do six plates and you embrace good enough. You're breaking the cycle. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. That is not the secret to life. The secret, the fundamental truth is a little bit every day is so much better than doing a lot tomorrow. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you guys next time.