Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Embrace the Lazy Genius Way with Kendra Adachi | Clutterbug Podcast # 248

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

In today’s episode, we’re joined by one of my favorite authors, Kendra Adachi, the genius behind The Lazy Genius Way. Her book has been a game-changer for me, showing that embracing imperfection and taking shortcuts can be the key to a happier, more productive life. Kendra shares her down-to-earth tips for ditching perfectionism and finding joy in the “lazy” moments. We’ll explore how adopting her relaxed yet intentional approach can help you get more done and feel good about it! Ready to meet Kendra and dive into the Lazy Genius way? Learn more about The Lazy Genius Collective Here: https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/   Find Kendra on Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelazygeniuscollective Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelazygenius/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KendraTheLazyGenius     You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast #Organize Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's podcast is so amazing. One of my favorite authors, Kendra Adashi, is joining us. And honestly, her book The Lazy Genius Way, it changed my life. And I say this a lot, but it really did because it gave me permission to embrace all the good stuff about being lazy. And it really reinforced my philosophy that doing things crappy and allowing yourself to not be perfect and to take shortcuts is the secret to not only getting more done, but being happier and feeling really proud of yourself in the end. So excited to be joined by Kendra today. She is the creator of The Lazy Genius brand and the author of multiple popular books. She's also known for her down-to-earth approach to managing life and she has a podcast called The Lazy Genius Podcast. You're going to love her just as much

as I do. Are you ready to meet Kendra? Welcome, Kendra. I'm so excited to have you here. Welcome to the Clutterbug podcast. A huge fan of your book. Also, I keep forgetting I'm buying it and then I rebuy it. I officially have three copies. Listen. That's so kind. Thank you. And you're holding up, you're holding up the lazy genius way, which that's, yeah. She's like my, she's my first born. You know what? I, for a really long time, I'm a lazy person. Listen, I'm just going to say it.

And for a really long time, my lack of effort in a lot of areas of my life, I saw as a really negative thing. And I vowed to remove the word lazy from my vocabulary because of it being seen as like this negative toxic thing. You made it cool, man. I did. So I really appreciate that. You're so welcome.

But also, listen, where did this come from? I know you probably answered this question a million times. But this is such a. a unique outlook. I'm all like, I was just impressed. It's probably one of my favorite books I've ever written. And where did this inspiration come from? Were you always a lazy genius? No, no, no. I was always a genius. I was a situation. I was the person that you wanted to be in charge of your group project, but the rest of you would talk about me behind my back because of like how intense I was. So yeah, I thought that I needed to do everything well. And so if I didn't think

that I could do something perfectly or be the best at it, I just didn't try. So it was hardcore genius energy. And so that continued through like my 20s. I had my first kid when I was 27. I think that's right. I had my first kid when I was 27. And I was like, I'm going to be the best mom. I'm going to make all the food and I'm going to do he's going to sleep so well. And I'm like I was just going to be this like Zen mother who had her house was always clean. Like I just knew what I just was like, I'm going to know what I'm doing. It's going to be fine. Well, that was hilarious because that's just not how life or parenting tends to work.

And so when I had my second kid two years later, I swung the other direction where I was like, well, I'm not going to care about anything. Caring seems to not work very well because all I'm doing is failing at what I'm trying to be the best at. So let's just not care. Let's give up. And both of those postures to me were quite unsustainable because I actually do care. There are things in my life that I genuinely care about. And I want to put energy into them.

And I want to put time and effort into them, money into them and whatever the case may be. and but I was sort of stuck in this this or that mentality. It was like all or nothing. It's like, there's no third way here. So with the help of years of therapy and really healing relationships and just kind of like learning that I would not explode if my to do list did not get checked off, you know, like things like that. Like, oh, we're all okay here.

Like we're still surviving. And you did not put away the dishes yet. Like, what a concept. Let's sit in this, let's sit in this space and see what happens. So I just lived in this third, wide middle way for years, had another kid. And then went, man, a lot of people are holding on to this all or nothing energy big time. And there is another way. And so that's when I started my podcast, a lazy genius podcast. and about three years after that wrote the book The Lazy Genius Way that you have three copies of.

Can I, for a second, talk about my listeners who are listening? Here's something I've noticed. And I love that you say you used to be a genius and you equate like being a genius with doing everything perfectly. Most people who really struggle with clutter are perfectionists, which is really surprising to me. And when I'm going into clients' homes and helping them declutter, this is something I notice a lot. Maybe you could relate as your former self or anyone listening. It will be destroyed. Okay. Their house will be, it'll be a wreck. And here they are neatly, tally folding their underpants into little triangles. You know, they're worried about all the details and they're not seeing the

forest for the trees. Yeah. And I think this is why. I love your book so much because it's giving people permission to say, bro, ski. That doesn't matter. Yeah. Or, or it can, it can matter if your underwear being folded neatly and, you know, kind of lined up like pretty socks in a drawer, you know, like in a rom-com when a guy gets dressed or whatever. If that actually does matter to you for some reason, then in that, for sure. some reason is not like a judgmental for some reason, like genuinely, whatever your reason is for that mattering.

What that means, though, is other things cannot. And there has, not everything can matter because if everything matters, nothing matters. So there has to be, there's a tradeoff with things. And you're allowed to choose. You're allowed to choose what your tradeoff is. I remember there was a, there was a back in the day when Instagram just began. And there were all of these moms that I followed who were, you know, posting photos of their days with their kids. And there was one woman that I really admired a lot with how she spent time with her kids.

She just felt really present. And they were like, I was doing crafts. And I'm not a craft mom. I was like, that's not my journey. But I really admired her presence with her kids. And she did a post one day. And she was like, I get asked a lot how I'm able to do all these things with my kids. And she said, my house is a wreck.

I don't. My husband cooks. I don't. Like, she listed out these things. And I thought, oh, look at that. She chose. She chose that that is the thing that matters the most to her in this season of life that she is in.

And for me, it's not that I'm a bad person if I choose some tidiness that I'd connect maybe with people, with my children a little bit better. Maybe when my space is like a little more tidy or I can invite them into it or I can do it at a different time when they're not around, like whatever. But actually, tidiness in my main living space, not in every room in the house, but in our main just like living room kitchen, that is something that matters a lot to me because I have a hard time separating my ability to be present with my distraction by the stuff. And so in order for me to be present, it's actually really helpful for just the living room in the

kitchen, literally no other room. for the living room in the kitchen. And when I say tidy, it's not clean. It's just stuff like in baskets or stacked in piles, like in the corner of the table. So I can put my feet on the table with my mug of tea. Like that's what I mean. So essentially there is a, I would invite everybody to have more of an acceptance of you're allowed to choose what matters to you. And it's almost always morally neutral.

whatever you choose is almost certainly morally neutral. So you choose it, recognize that that means that not everything can matter, and then we just do the next thing. Yeah. Oh, that's good. I was a slob for the majority of my life, like a huge slob. And I had this all or nothing mentality, and you talk a lot about this in the book. So I'm either a disaster or I, the, opposite of that is like everything has to be perfect and everything lined up. Like there was no

middle. And it wasn't until I embraced doing things really shitty. Honestly, like, I'm just like, it's okay. I don't have to file my paperwork. I'm just going to put it in a basket labeled paperwork. So it's done, but it's not done perfect. And then I took that to the extreme. Like, instead of washing my entire kitchen floor and my hands and knees, which is what I thought you had to do, I would just like clean up a spill with my sock. But like, you know, instead of leaving it, which is what I did, I'm like, I'll leave it till I have time to do everything perfect later. And that changed everything for me, giving myself permission to really do it shitty. So I mean, yeah, how do you pick what is worth level genius?

Obviously your brain surgeon, please be a level genius while operating on my brain. And bridges, people who make bridges. Those are the other people I would really like to come to work with your A game. That feels important. That's important. Life and death, pretty much come with the A game. But like the rest, the CD, F game. Sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Most of the stuff. But how do you know? Do you just like innately know what to give your all and what to like phone it in? Because, listen, well, people listening because my perfection. out there, my perfectionist friends, they think everything's important right now. They do. I'm in their house and I'm like, dude, that isn't. They're like, well, I'm going to recycle this pickle jar or I'm going to use it to this. Like, even their pickle jars are important. So how do you know?

Yeah, I feel like a good, like, a good metric for how hard a person is trying to make everything matter is how many bags of chicken carcasses you have in your freezer. to make your own stock later. Or rotten bananas for that banana bread. That's never happening. It's never happening. Listen to me, there's nothing more free. That's been one of the freest things for me is to be like, you're not making the banana bread, Kendra.

Just put them in the trash can. This costs 52 cents. 52. It's okay. Put them in the trash can. Now, that is my choice. That is my choice about what is going to matter to me. That is not going to be the choice of everyone.

So broadly speaking, how do we name what matters to us? So I love that you have three copies of The Lacey Genius Way. I wrote that and well, that came out in 2020. And my recent book that just came out like a couple, a few weeks ago, it's called The Plan. And I have had some really fantastic realizations about naming what matters as I have written the plan and talked about it. And that is, we live in, if you're a perfectionist listening, which it sounds like there's a lot of those, chances are you have read a good number of time management books, productivity books. You're always trying to find the hack, the system, the thing, the magic pill that's going to work.

And I'm here to tell you that those aren't real. That's the first thing, is that they're just not real. part of it is we live in a in a culture where productivity is seen through a very narrow lens of greatness that everything is about optimizing and leveling up and being the most efficient and creating a life that falls within certain boundary lines and you you know you kind of reverse engineer this ideal future that you see for yourself like I'm going to have this house I'm my family's going to look like this. I'm not this much money. I'm going to, you know, there's a lot about our bodies sometimes. Like, we look in the future at this life that we want to

have. And then we are instructed to reverse engineer that ideal future. And so every day is essentially like checkboxing our way to this person that we think that we're supposed to be. But, but the, the, the majority, I couldn't think of the word, the majority of the people, and it's a high majority. It's 93%. the majority of the people who are teaching us the steps and the systems to achieve that are men. 93% of time management books are written by men. 70 to 90% of the people who buy time management books are women. So I'm just here to say, everyone, that the systems that have been presented to you are incomplete because of who is writing them.

That's the first thing. But then the second thing is this idea of greatness that we, we, I mean, the American dream is essentially like hustle. You know, it's hustle after what you want, like potential. Like everybody has the ability to be an Olympic athlete. Listen, I don't know if anybody has seen me do anything athletic in any way. There's even curling. I'm out.

Like, I have glass knees. Those shoes, there's no way. Like, not everybody is able to do everything. Also, kind of the way it goes. Why do we got to get up at 5 a.m. and have cold showers. Can I nope that because that's not happening? You can. Why is that the message? That's right. Because men aren't the ones who are typically, again, typically, they're not the ones who have been woken in the middle of the night by their children or who are getting up with the children in the

morning. They're, you know, including my own husband. I will give him such side eye that he, you know, he gets up and he has like a full uninterrupted hour in the bathroom and he gets ready uninterrupted. and he comes into the kitchen and I'm making breakfast and getting the kids out and, you know, I've organized all the carpools. And now I say all that to say, that is part of my role in our division of labor. Like we have actively divided the things. So that's my thing that I've chosen. So I'm not listing that as a resentful thing.

But he'll come in and sometimes I'm like, do you enjoy your morning? Do you enjoy your morning? Like it's like a joke. But a lot of dudes, they're not. necessarily part of that process so they can't get up a five because they're not you know whatever my point is we live in a society that celebrates and values and even upholds a goal of greatness that is in service to an invisible future that we're supposed to idealize and manufacture our way to get to the tools

that we are given to do that are written by people who do not have our lived experience, nor do they include our lived experience in it. And so that is why women are struggling, not because we're not good at things, not because you're a slob, not because you're too much of a perfectionist, it's because you're swimming in water that is meant to keep you under. Like, that's where we live. And so instead, if we can go, and I'm, listen, I'm not like against what the dudes are saying. A lot of the things that they say are really great. I love dudes. I'm so into dudes. And you're also allowed to be great at things. Like you can be great at things. But what I'm offering here and why it's hard for us to name what matters is because that system tells us everything

can. That system says that the reason that you need to, that you're struggling to prioritize all the things is because you haven't figured out how to properly prioritize. The problem is you. The problem is you. It's not you, everybody. It's not you. The problem is not you. The problem is the system is not built for you.

And the goal is probably not yours in the first place. So instead, if we shift everything from a goal of greatness in a patriarchal society where women are expected to do more than men and are not supported as much as men are, if we shift it to what if our goal every day, is to just like be a kind person to ourselves with whatever's going on. What if that was the goal? What if we didn't see everything through the lens of, well, we need to do this better? We need to improve this.

We need to level this up. We need to organize this drawer. We need to make sure that this meet and three gets on the table at a certain time. What if we removed that as the primary foundation for how we made decisions? What if instead our new foundation is, I'm going to start where I am today? And I'm going to be kind to her. I'm going to be kind to myself today. I'm going to honor what I need. I'm going to honor where I am. It doesn't mean that I'm not focused on the future. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be good at things. But it means that that's not where I'm starting. That's not the purpose here.

And when that happens, when you start to kind of practice that and notice how much greatness is in your life everywhere, it's just like in the cracks, it's like, it's like syrup that you just keep finding, you know, different like crevices of your living room or your kitchen you're like who even ate pancakes in here why has there syrup everywhere it's so frustrating like you're going to start seeing it you're going to start seeing it everywhere and the the freedom the freedom that comes from being able to name what matters through the lens of what's my season of life right now what matters right now and i'm going to be kind to who i am right now this is not about service to the same invisible future person.

It just sort of like takes the, it just, it removes the veil of get it together, do it all right, because that's no longer the goal. We have a new goal, everybody. We have a new goal. Which is just like being happy. Yeah, it's being content. That's really what it, what it is for me. It's about, because not everything is going to be rad all the time.

You know, I'm not even saying that that's a thing. Life is stressful. Life is busy. It's full. It's frustrating. It's full of grief and loss and hormones that do weird things. It's full of children that also do weird things. There are lots of obstacles in our lives.

So this isn't about controlling those obstacles from a more Zen approach. Instead, it's going, I am going to be right here. And I, if I catch myself resenting, my present because I want to be over there instead. That's normal and I'm going to be kind to myself in that place. But also I'm going to name that this is a season that I'm in. Now is not forever. There's good here right now and I'm going to be kind to myself,

even when I'm falling apart. That is a posture that promotes more growth than one would think. Yeah, as a negative. The hustle on the other side doesn't really, we've been doing that for decades. Like I'm, I'm 42.

And I wasn't any, quote unquote, further along from beating myself up to get further along than when I started. You know? It's like, it doesn't really work.

It doesn't really work. So what if we, what if we shift to just honoring our season? honoring what matters right now, having the permission to let the other stuff go because we no longer live under this, through this lens of greatness at every turn and mastery of your time and all these things that people who do not live our lives tell us to do. There's a lot of revolutionary, actually. There's so many expectations.

There's so much pressure. And what if we just didn't, yeah, give in to that? what if we thought about the things that we're not doing for other people right like are you worried about making this gourmet dinner every night because you're worried about what people think about your cooking or do you actually enjoy cooking that's right exactly it starts it gets you to a place of naming what genuinely matters to you not what you think should matter to you based on cultural expectations because those are and sometimes those are the same thing sometimes your behaviors might not even shift, but you now have, let's say it, because the dinner thing is a

great example, because the eating is constant. The cooking and the eating and the feeding is a constant thing. And so let's say that you cook every night. But what if you're doing it out of obligation to your family or because that's how your mom did it or that's how your partner's mom did it? And so you feel like you have to kind of measure up in the same way. And you do kind of enjoy it to a point, but like on days that you wish you could just not, you don't feel like you have that ability to let it go. Or if you feel like you do let it go, then really you're swinging to the other side of, well, I guess we're just going to have frozen pizza all the time. You know, like it's that all or nothing thing again. Yeah. But instead, if you're like,

you know what, I actually really, I really do like cooking. I do like, maybe it's you like trying new, like, techniques or you enjoy following a recipe because it's something that's like sort of predictable, or maybe you like making it up because it's really creative and you don't get to be creative. Or maybe you like to make the same seven things over and over because it's like so deeply comforting, like whatever it is. But if you make that choice of like, this is a priority for me now in this season, not forever, but like this is something that matters now. And I can, my expectations of this thing do match the energy that I have and the ability that I have in the season to do it. You might still cook.

But what a different vibe in your own body when you're doing it. It's coming from such a richer, more whole integrated place. So it's not so much about like behavior modification. You know, it's changing the way we see, which sometimes. leads to behavior modification, but from a place that's like, no, this actually matters. And changing the way you talk to yourself. I mean, this was a really big one for me. Like living in clutter, I said I didn't care. I said like good moms had messy houses. Good moms have sticky floors. You know? I was like, oh. I don't want to.

You can buy a pillow that says that. I don't want to be like a type. Oh, only neurotic clean freaks have those spotless homes. They're no fun. Like this is the narrative. told myself to kind of make it feel okay. But the truth was I hated my house and I hated myself for not being able to keep it. And I finally got mad at the stuff instead of myself. Like I didn't change until I thought, well, none of this crap even matters. I'm sick of moving it. I'm sick of managing it. And I just went like insane with a trash bag, like some sort of psychop. Big like trash bag energy. There is. I have a name for it. I was just. I was just. throwing everything in the garbage. And when I share this story with people, I get a lot of like,

well, you should recycle and you should donate you. Blankets should go to the Humane Society and blah-bidi-blah. And again, there's these rules and expectations, even how we save ourselves when we're drowning. It's like you're drowning. You're trying to get out of the lake and someone's like, your swimming technique is not proper. And you're like, what? What are you talking about, man? I'm just trying to get out. I'm just trying to like get my head above the water. And for me, I had to get mad and I had to say, you all suck. All this stuff sucks. It doesn't even matter. The only thing that matters is my peace of mind. And I can't manage this much. And I'm throwing it in trash bags. And that was the single greatest thing that ever happened to me because when all of that

excess was gone, I now had space in my life and in my mind and in my, like, it was amazing. But the only thing that changed was how I talked to myself. Instead of blaming myself for the mess, I blame the stuff for the mess. And I can't put myself in a trash bag. You know what I mean? Right, right. I know. I know. It absolutely changed my life. I have to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Cozy Earth. Years ago, I switched to Cozy Earth. bedding and there's no going back. So soft, these bamboo sheets and their bedding, every time I wash it, I swear it gets softer. I also love that they're temperature regulating, so I never

feel hot or too cold. And I just got their brand new bamboo pajama set. I am in love with the PJs. I think cozy earth makes an incredible gift, especially the sheet set, because so many of us don't treat ourselves to this little bit of luxury, good quality sheets, and just in time for Christmas, you can save 40% off. Go to cozyearth.com slash clutterbug and use my exclusive 40% off coupon clutterbug and give someone you love the gift of luxury this holiday season. Again, go to cozy earth.com slash clutterbug and use the coupon code clutterbug to save 40% off. site wide. One of your chapters is the magic question. This is like again another thing. I didn't know what was called the magic question, but this is another mindset shift for me that changed everything.

And your magic question is, what can I do now to make life easier later? Do you still, like I know it was a few years ago while you wrote this book, is this still like a core belief for you? Oh yeah, it's almost, it's almost like intuitive at this point. Like I don't think about it very much. But the key with the key with the magic question, I think, is you can sub in anything for the word life. And honestly, the smaller, the thing, the better. So rather than saying like, what can I do, you could say what can I do to make dinner easier later. But even making it like, what can I do to make dinner prep easy?

later? What can I do to make dinner vibes easier later? Now, you don't answer all those things. Like, that's one of the things that, um, that people who sort of swing on the genius side of lazy genius, they, they sort of, um, they don't really trust their future selves. They don't remember that their future selves are actually really competent. And the point of the magic question is just to give you like one little, one little leg up, you know, to do like maybe something that will just make it easier later, not 20 things that do it. But yeah, like, um, I do it all the time. Like, you know, it's pulling out, it's pulling out the ground beef for dinner.

It's putting the, like going into the pantry and getting the jar of sauce and the box of pasta and putting water in the pot and just leaving the pot on the stove to heat up four hours later. You know, it's like, it's these tiny things. It's writing tomorrow's work to do list before I leave my desk today. You know, it's just these sort of things. I like I tend to naturally think that way and so it's something that comes fairly naturally. But it's not it again, bringing back this lens of greatness. The goal here for the magic question is not to like make you awesome at the magic question. It's just a tool.

It's just a neutral tool. It's not something that you know that you get better at. It's just a neutral tool. But even tools like that, when we look at them through that lens of greatness, it's like the swimming metaphor that you just said, you know, you're drowning and you're trying to get to shore and people are like your form is bad. Those are people who are living still through the lens of greatness. They're still looking through this lens.

If you're supposed to do everything right, get it together. You're supposed to do all the things really well. And if you can't, then you're the problem. And so even things like this magic question, the goal here is not to like be all. awesome at it or to use it every day or it is simply a neutral tool that you can use when it's helpful for you. And sometimes it might not be as helpful as you hoped and that's also okay. Again, it's all very neutral.

We just need to take the like, like the mastery off of everything. Again, unless you are a brain surgeon or building bridges. Like you don't have to master your life. your time and because when you're focused on mastering everything, mastering your stuff, mastering your body, mastering your calendar, you're not, you're not really living. You're distracted by honestly, this moving finish line that you're not going to be able to cross. Like, because that's how the, that's how the industry is built, honestly. It's 75% of self-improvement people are repeat customers.

the industry dies. The industry dies. If we're like, you know what, I don't need any more tools. I feel good with what I've got. Let's just keep rolling. This is fine. The industry dies. You're right.

If we actually got our life together and didn't need the self-help books, the industry would die because it's the same group of people. It's the same group of people. And so that's why they're telling you you're still trying to get your life together. There are different ways that it's sort of, structured and positioned and marketed to say you need to get your life together. And it's that idea of like, yeah, when you clean out your house, when you put everything in your butt, you've got to recycle, you've got to donate that things that donate.

You need to make sure that you're, like, you're being irresponsible if you're not A, B, and C. And like, what if your life is? That's not necessarily true. Yeah. And what if your life is together? I mean, still, I was chasing this thing for. a long time and never get into the top of the mountain. I was climbing and climbing and there was always another peak. And then I thought, you know what? My life was never better until I did less.

Like my life got better when I was crappier at it. When I gave myself permission to suck in a lot of different areas, I improved. My life was like, oh, I'm managing more because you can't do it all perfectly. You can't do it all well. It's a recipe for disaster. So when you give yourself permission to say, I'm not doing that and I'm not doing that. And if I'm going to do that, it's going to be with a wet sock, you know, level shit. Then absolutely everything. Okay, before I let you go, I want to just talk about one thing that, to me, it's a lot like your, your magic question. I started thinking about tomorrow's me as my best friend. And what I mean by that, Yeah, it's like would I, would I do that to my best friend? So I don't want to clean the dishes

today. I'll do it tomorrow. Would I make my best friend tomorrow clean my dirty dishes today? Freak no. Or anything I kick off to like, oh, you know, tomorrow she's going to work extra hard or she's going to get up extra early tomorrow or whatever it is. That little like shifts in my mindset changed everything because sometimes it's like I don't want to do it today and I don't want her to have to do it either. That just goes off my list. Instead of burdening tomorrow's me with all this expectation and all this pressure, tomorrow I'm going to be so amazing. I can't be amazing today. I don't have it, but tomorrow I'm expected to do. That's crazy. But this is such a human nature trait that we do. I think especially as women, we just keep kicking the can and piling on tomorrow.

us. I do think that's true. And I think I want to offer a caveat to that as well, though, which is sometimes, like, there have been times where I was so, I get migraines. And recently I had, like, such a terrible migraine. And I didn't have anybody to take care of me. And I kind of needed to. Like I was just, I was starting to have a panic attack because I couldn't get better. And I called my best friend who lives a few blocks away. And she was home, thankfully. And I was like, can you come? And she came.

And she said, and I had groceries on the counter that had been delivered that I had to bring in because I needed to bring them in. I didn't expect to have a migraine when the groceries were delivered. And I had groceries out there and the dishwasher wasn't unloaded. And the kids are going to have to eat dinner when they get home very soon and all these different things. and and I in that time I was so grateful to have the I don't want to use the word courage I don't know that sounds kind of cheesy but just the trust maybe the trust in my relationship with her to go when she was like what do you need and I said there's groceries in the kitchen she was like got it and she went and did all those things now I realize it's not fully what

you're saying. But there, there are times where I think that we push through today at the, like to save tomorrow us. But what it does is that it actually puts today us. It doesn't honor who we are today. Because there are some days where I can say to myself, because I love, I actually really love that question. Like what I asked my best friend to wash my dishes tomorrow. And if I'm, in bad enough shape for whatever reason, I would because I know she loves me and I know that she would want to help me and I might have the energy to stand next to her and sort of do it. It's kind of, I don't know, it's like it's a strange metaphor. I like that.

Yes. No, I see what you're saying. There are some days. There are days. We have to depend on our best friend. And if it's coming from a place of love, I think if we love tomorrow's us, that's really the difference. because you're right, there's lots of days I can't, I can't.

And I count on my best friend tomorrow to get me and she's got me. But I don't want to kick it onto her out of like a cruelty, which. Sure, which, you know, where that comes from, because I want you to love today's you, not just tomorrow's you, you want to honor today's you, but also where that comes from, that kicking the can down the road is the expectation that everything needs to be done a certain way and be great. and we know that we don't have the capacity to make it great today. And so we're like, well, I guess we'll do it later.

And that's when sort of the buildup happens because the goal is not our goal. That's the thing. That's like the take the glasses off where you're like, whoa, is the goal is not for you to be great at everything. And you start to see it. You just start to see it in those things in these little moments of your life where even in when you're like, am I going to ask the tomorrow, my tomorrow self, my tomorrow best friend who I love very much, just as much as I love today's? Like, let's be with both of them right now.

And let's remember that being great is not the point. Being kind to who we are in this moment is the point. Being a whole person right now and honoring that today is the point. What do I need right now? And sometimes it's wait till tomorrow. Sometimes it's magic question it and do one little thing to kind of prepare for tomorrow. It's not always even the same answer. It's that's the thing. That's another thing. I get so rawled up about those.

That is another thing that the industry teaches us is that it is you make one decision. You set up one life. And then you follow through. You create a plan and you work the plan until you die. Yeah. And you don't change course. You don't pivot. If you hit obstacles, the problem is you.

No, ma'am. That is not true. We don't have to live under that paradigm. We don't have to. So I'll try to stop talking so I don't get hot about other topics. But we can live under. We can live with a new way of singing, which is like, let's just be a person today and pay attention to what we need and what matters today.

And as we practice that and we're present with that, over time, we do have a greater ability to maybe look into the future even more, to make some of these bigger shifts in our lives. But we will, it's like you said, we will actually have more sort of movement and growth and success in the places that matter to us when we let go of trying to master them. Oh, that's so good. Okay, thank you so much for being here. I could talk to you all day. I feel inspired.

I want to go sit in my hot tub and relax with like it's good. I'm like, I deserve a breakover here. Yeah, you do? Yeah, I do. Okay, please let my listeners, I'm immediately going to go by three copies of your new book. So I'm just going to have an entire bookshelf dedicated to Kendra. This is very exciting. But please let my listeners know where they can get your books and your new book and where they can listen to you and where they can follow you.

So everything is at our website, the lazy genius collective.com. The new book is called The Plan. Man is Your Time, like a lazy genius. And it is not to be dramatic, but like I really feel like my life and my work led to this book. Like this book is sort of the purpose of all my stuff. And it's just been the coolest thing to see women and men like experience these glasses coming off and putting on a new pair and feeling more like themselves and still getting their stuff done. Like it's just, it's a really magical thing. So that book is the plan.

The book that Cass already has three copies of is The Lazy Genius Way. And then I have a show The Lazy Genius Podcast with episodes that come out every Monday. And again, all of it is at Lazy Genius Collective.com. Thank you so much for being on the Clutterbug Podcast. And thank you to all of my listeners. I know you're feeling just like, ah, just as good as I am right now. I hope you have an incredible day and we'll see you next time. Thank you.