Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Get a ”Real-Life” Clean & Tidy Home with The Secret Slob | Clutterbug Podcast # 171

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

Stephanie from The Secret Slob shares her "real-life" advice for a clean and tidy home. If you struggle to keep up with strict cleaning routines and time management, then this podcast is for you!  As a Butterfly organizer, Stephanie has adapted the FlyLady's strict cleaning routine to fit her more laid-back style! Her gentle approach to home management is a refreshing change from the Pinterest-perfect expectations on social media today. Watch The Secret Slob on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSecretSlob Visit her website here: https://thesecretslob.com/     You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Clutterbugs, welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. I'm geeked for today because we are interviewing Steph from The Secret Slob. And here's why I'm really excited. I stumbled upon your video, Steph. I'm going to introduce you in a second. But a few years ago and it took me 2.5 seconds to say, it's a butterfly. And that is your organizing style. I'm going to talk more about that in a second. But I am so excited to talk about. with like just with you because I know a lot of my listeners are also have this organizing style and it's actually rare to find it's the rarest of all the organizing styles believe it or not so I'm excited because you have your life together in a way that is also rare for butterflies so I just want to like ask you all the questions but before we jump in could you do me a favor and introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself sure um I'm Steph I am a stay-at-home mom. I have three little kids and we homeschool. We're at home all the time. And I'm a former slob, which I used to keep a secret. Now it's totally public. And to kind of start

my journey to non-slobiness or kind of halfways having my stuff together, I started a YouTube channel just as my own little accountability partner and it kind of took off. And I've grown this community on YouTube and social media where we all just kind of help each other out and support each other and I'm learning and everyone else is learning and they're teaching me and I'm teaching them and it's really grown and I've you know in in kind join the community with yourself and other YouTubers and other organizing people and it's just been a really fun and unexpected kind of journey for me. I actually find your channel so refreshing because you are just honest about the struggle of just all the things you know and I I call myself a recovering super

But the truth is, I'll always be a slob. Does this make sense? Like, even when I'm tidy and I am, my house is tidy, I at my core am a slob. Do you feel the same way? Yeah, like I definitely always feel like I'm always fighting against it, right? I leave messes out and I have to remember. I'm always reminding myself. It wasn't like I taught myself and now I'm one of those people, you know, those people who just seem to clean up after themselves. I don't know. I miss. I miss. that gene somewhere during like my formation. But no, it's, it's always a struggle for me, but it's less of a struggle because I have the tools now, but it's just, it's there. And even my husband will say, like, I think I pick up more after you than our kids. I just, I'm like,

squirrel, squirrel. Definitely using the tools to my advantage, but it's there. My husband calls me the, the messiest clean person he's ever met because I, I'm, it's all or nothing. I'm either the house is trashed or I'm cleaning like a crazy person. So, but it works for me, this sort of ebb and flow type thing because I'm not a structured routine type of person. I'll never be. And so this is what I wanted to talk to you about. And this is going to be kind of controversial, but I just want to jump in. You are what I can see. Now I'm making presumptions. I've never spoke to you before, but I would definitely diagnose you as a butterfly, which means it's out of sight, out of mind for you. You are a visual person. You tend to naturally leave things out to cue to your brain to remember them.

And if they're tucked away, it's likely you'd forget. Is that probably pretty accurate? Oh, yeah. Like I could quickly show you my school room and it's just open shelving. Right? It's there. If it's not there. Which works, which is awesome. And then the other. side of a butterfly is a really laid back brain. So what I mean by this is details, structure, routine, rigorous, like you've got to do this and be here. That doesn't work for a non-detailed person. And I am a non-detailed person. I don't do structure. I want to. I really do. But I fail. I have to take so much mental capacity to try to be detailed that I can't also be a good human being. Like, it's just something's got to go when I try to put myself into this box.

And everybody I've met who has that same non-detailed brain as us is the same way. Yeah. Would you think agree that that was accurate? Yes. I think so. I think even my sister can attest to every time we've tried to get, my channel and everything like organized where it's like we're going to film two weeks out and we're going to write these scripts and this is going to happen and then i'm the one that just kiboshed the

whole thing i'm like let's just you know whenever we feel like it and i just work so much better on that kind of a mentality and a flow and but i want to be detailed like i'm the list writer on monday six a m i'm going to blah blah seven a m i'm going to blah it doesn't happen but so i found a different way around it which is just finding these kind of like i call them flows or like, they're like routines, but more kind of just when you get to it, this will happen. And like you said, the all or nothing, that's totally me. But all or nothing with three kids turns into chaos. So I've learned to kind of just like hit things when I can.

But yeah, I've tried to set up the superstructure and no way. Okay. So this comes into the controversial thing I want to talk about. You are a big supporter of Fly Lady. Yeah. And I love Fly Lady. I couldn't do it, though. That Fly Lady is a very structured, very routine-based.

I need, I can't maintain that. Can you do, like I know it works for so many people, but I do think there are some of us that just can't keep that up. To put it into perspective, when I found Fly Lady and I found a Fly Lady through Diane and Denmark from my mom. I was drowning. Like I had a six month old, probably a little bit of postpartum. My house was crazy. Like every day just felt like such a struggle and I was drowning and you know when you're drowning you will take any life raft. So I saw this and I was like I'm climbing aboard because I need something. So for me

and I think this is kind of really been shown in my channel. I've really taken Fly Lady I think and I love the system and like you say it works for so many people but my real goal is to help people understand that every detail of every system isn't going to work for everybody and you have to make it your own. So I really pick it apart like a buffet and I'm like you know having any kind of a morning routine is very important. So I have that having you know kind of an idea of when things need to be done next like the zone cleaning whereas I loop them. I don't do them like she does. That's important. So all the things are there that I didn't know about.

And then I just kind of piecemeal them together the way I want to or the way that works. And then I do like a looping system where I'm not Monday this, Tuesday this. The next thing I do is this. And if I don't do anything for a couple days, okay. And the next thing I do is that, you know. So Fly Lady for me, yeah, it was like my life raft. She saved me. Diane and Demar completely saved me from myself.

But in that, through my journey, I've kind of changed and tweaked. it for myself because I'm not structured. I'm not rigid. People are. I like checkmarks. I do like check marks, but no, I don't follow it the way it's like prescribed. I love that you're saying that because that's, I've heard so many people say, well, I guess I'm just destined. Like they try it. They fail. They give up. Because it is intense or if it doesn't match their style and then they're back like feeling really bad about themselves. And that when I really was drowning in my clutter, that was the biggest issue I had was like, wow, I didn't like myself because I felt like such a failure as a mom and a wife and why can't I get my life together and why are things

so hectic? And anytime I tried something to try to get it under control and it didn't work, it almost reinforced that and made it worse. You say you're all or nothing and I'm wondering if you were like me. I see this fly lady system. I'm like, great, I'm doing everything. Everything. starting tomorrow. I'm going to adapt this whole system. And that was a big learning curve was like, don't start, you know, you can't just jump into Olympic marathon training. You have to start by going for like a walk or maybe a slow jog. So just starting small, huge, huge for me to learn, not just jumping into the deep end. It doesn't work for anyone. Well, some people, not me. Some people. Some people it does. Some people need the structure and other people for some reason that type of structure suffocates. And for me it's suffocating. And I, when I feel trapped and suffocated and I feel pressure on myself, I shut down and I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. And so this is what works for me. I don't know. Like everybody is different, but I need routine in that every day around this time of day, I do something. But I need the freedom.

to pick what that something is in the moment. So in that moment, I know after dinner, I have to spend 20 minutes, 10 minutes, half an hour on my house. But in that moment, there's no like, this is what you do today. It's cast, this is your time, stand up, get up, do something to make something better. And I do always choose the right thing most of the time. But I'm not telling myself what that thing is. Does this make sense? Like, I know this sounds bonkers. No, it makes perfect sense. I mean, I always say this too with decluttering or organizing when you're like, I need to declutter. I would never say like, first start with your closet. No, start with the thing that is making you crazy. And you know what it is. It's that junk drawer. It's that table full of stuff. Maybe it is your closet. I don't know. It's the

thing that you're just every day aggravated by these places that are supposed to be serving us in our own home and we've turned them into like dump piles. Start there. You know where to start. You know what your house needs. You know, if I say washer floors three times a week, but you've got five hairy dogs and it needs to happen five times a week. Like, what am I to say three times a week? I don't know. Yeah.

And as soon as somebody tells me, maybe I have like some sort of authority issues. You're a rebel. It tells me what I need to do. I'm like, nah, even telling myself. Like, so even if I'm like, you have to do this, I don't want to anymore. And so I need freedom in my schedule and I need a routine, but I need more like a rhythm than a routine. I need to have times of day where I focus on certain things, but the freedom to always choose what those things are with the underlying like knowledge that I can't put things off till tomorrow because it's just going to be harder tomorrow. and I always, if I'm feeling stressed, I know I need less stuff.

So if those two things are in the back of my head, this kind of, but some people, when I say this, I'm so God you understand because when I say this to people, they're like, well, no, I need to know where do I start and what do I do? And what tools do I need and what? And so that's such a great example of how people have different brains. And it works for one person, doesn't work for someone else. and you really need to know yourself. Oh yeah.

And I mean, but when I first started and I grabbed onto my Fly Lady Life raft, we'll just call it that. You know, I did follow her system pretty much verbatim because I had nothing. Like I had no starting point. And it's only from starting and doing the baby steps and I did them with Diane and then I did my own doing that and figuring out what was working, what I needed, what I didn't, that I was able to really build that rhythm for myself that worked really well, you know. So I do, I guess I do recommend following a system at first if you have nothing because like you say, people will be like, but when, but why, but how? And that was me. Like, you know, phoning my mom, but what is this? And what is that? And so just kind of adopting the whole thing and then picking it apart and then, you know, customizing it. I think you're so right. We need a starting point. For me, it was just getting stuff out. That was my starting point. I just have to declutter. I was like, I have to declutter. I was like, I have to. much stuff, things need to leave. And then it was easier to do these routines. I still don't make

my bed every day. Don't tell anyone. Me neither. Sometimes it doesn't happen and that's okay. But I focus on the big things. Like I do the dishes every day because my life will be harder tomorrow if I don't. I just want to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Earth Breeze. Months ago, I switched from using my regular tide over to Earth Breeze. And this is an eco-friendly laundry detergent that actually comes in sheets. Looks just like dryer sheets, but they're not. They dissolve 100% in any wash cycle, whether it's hot or cold. There's no mess. There's no measuring. There's no like heavy plastic jugs. You just toss a sheet in. So it takes up a lot less space. And honestly, it's a great price too. And you're getting a good clean, like deep down clean.

But listen, there's no risk. It's a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you try EarthBreeze and you don't like it, they will refund your money. So right now, why don't you switch from the old-fashioned goo to something new? My listeners can get 40% off right now. Go to earthbreeze.com slash clutterbug to get started. That's earthbreeze.com slash clutterbug for 40% off. Let's talk about another big, big struggle for people like us who have a non-detailed brain. time management, remembering appointments coming up, scheduling just the day-to-day lives,

doctor's appointments and this, and remembering to come on podcasts. And do you struggle with this too? Is it just me? I forgot to come on your podcast a couple weeks ago. So yes, I forget everything. And, like, my friends even know this about me. Like, I have this calendar that has everything. I have to phone someone.

We made a plan to go to the park tomorrow, which I'll forget if I don't write it down. I write down everything, which is funny because it makes me look super organized. But it's such a crutch for me because if I don't have it, it's like game over. My friend phoned me. She's like, where are you? I'm like, oh, I'm just coming home from church. Where are you? She's like, well, the birthday party started an hour ago.

But I do myself favors. I buy birthday presents in advance now, not 10 minutes before the birthday party, right? Like I'm, I feel like I've got these tools now to help future stuff, right? Past stuff, like me now. I have to do things for her because she will forget. And we know this. So I have all these kind of systems in place. That's okay.

I feel like it's creative brain. I don't know what else to call it. But yeah, I have that too. I'm actually really impressed you have a planner because I've bought a thousand planners. I couldn't tell you where any of them are right now because I'm so. forgetful. I forget to reuse them. I forget where I've placed them. I forget to remember. And so I have to use my phone. And it has to have alerts. Like if I don't put something in my phone with at least three alert reminders one day before, one half an hour, four, five minutes before, it's not. Oh,

yeah. For me. And I have email reminders too. But you remember your planner. Like you remember your notebook? How? What is your secrets? It's a calendar on the fridge. So number one, it does not move. I cannot take it somewhere and lose it. It's magneted to the fridge. Okay. Number two, I think because my husband and I are both accountable to it,

and I'm very much about accountability. Like if someone's watching, I'm doing it, which is probably why I started the YouTube. So I know he's seeing it. And so I'm like, I have book club. So it's to remind myself, but also to let him know. So it's kind of one of our big communication tools. You know, it's on the calendar.

It's written in stone. I also use my phone a little bit like when I'm out and about and I get a dentist appointment. I'll just put it in my phone and then at the beginning of every month I will go to my last calendar, write everything in, go through my emails, write everything in, go to my phone, write in anything I put in there and then talk to my husband and write everything in. So yeah, for me, the planners, me too, so cute, so fun. And then they're lost. Like one week of stuff, gone.

And I also try to keep it simple. like I have in the past, tried to put everything, you know, on at six, you're going to do this and seven, you're going to do this, all just micromanaging my day. No, just the big stuff, but just the big stuff. Everything else, no. Okay. So how do you remind yourself of daily routines? Like, do you have a system, like, do you naturally just clean the kitchen after dinner? It's probably a habit for you now. But in the beginning, did you need audible, like I need audible reminders to sort of interrupt my brain and it's like, okay, now it's time to work on this. Or do you have a different secret? Well, so I used a checklist, which I made myself, and it's basically just my own little modified

fly lady and has the morning routine and the evening routine and the checklists and then kind of some meal planning stuff in there and some zone stuff. And I use my checklist. And now I have it memorized so it seems a little bit like it not necessary. And so I don't have it. Sometimes when I get unmotivated or if I have a few off weeks, I'll do another checklist. But now I just kind of have it. And I'm like you, I'll do most of the things, most of the time. And that, you know, does most of it. But I think another big problem I used to have is I used to think when people came over, my house had to be spotless. And then people would come and be like, oh, your house is always so perfect. You're always so put together. And I was just like dying on the inside because I'm like,

oh, if you only knew, it's so bad. And so now I found a real happy medium where my friends, can come over and my house can be anywhere from like perfectly spotless to just destroy it and I have to be okay with that because that is me you know I do clean the toilets quickly before they come but I don't I'm no longer trying to like be someone I'm not I guess right I'm not clean all the time so just come see me as I am you're not coming to judge my house and if you are don't come I love that you've just taken so much pressure off yourself I still feel a lot of pressure like my house is it is tidy most of the time, but I feel this to make it perfect when somebody comes over because I feel like I should, as an organizing expert, have my life under control, but I'm probably doing everyone a disservice,

like myself from stressing out, and my friends thinking that why doesn't their house look like this all the time? Because that is not real life. Yeah. No, I know, I have friends who will say, like, oh, I don't want you to come to my house and see it. It's so messy. And I'm like, the name of the channel is secret slob like come on guys i can't make this any more clear yeah and i the truth is like my name of my channel is clutterbug because i am i i will always be the person who like i get ready in the morning the bathroom looks like a freaking nuclear bomb went off that's just me i make a sandwich and i leave it on the counter like i'm i've discovered why it's my brain moves on to the next task I'm ever done the task I'm currently working on. And I see this with ladybugs and butterflies.

That's what's really going on here. It isn't that we don't care or that we're lazy. Literally our brain jumps ahead to the next thing before we're done what we're doing. And some people call it squirrel syndrome or ADHD or ADD, and I do have that. But a lot of people who don't have that still have a brain that's just moved on. We forget these things. So the organization that works for me are things that naturally catch where I naturally spread my clutter. So I have baskets everywhere. Everywhere. So I can just dump stuff in.

I get ready out of a basket. So when I throw my stuff back in, it goes back into the basket. Now I just have to put one thing away instead of 50 million bathroom products. Yeah. And we have hooks. So I can just toss things on a hook when I'm done with it. And it's really, really working for me, but it doesn't look like people expect an organized home to look. Yeah.

That's what I just keep wanting to shout from the rooftops. Like, it doesn't have to look like something. No, and I mean, I think Pinterest and Instagram, as beautiful and wonderful as they are, are doing everybody. Huge disservice because, like, let's be honest, when you show, like, someone's front entryway on Pinterest, it has one jacket. and like two pairs of shoes. Who's house me at? A fancy umbrella for some reason. Yes.

And some beautiful, like completely spotless mud boots, right? Like boots that have never seen the outdoors. So I think, yeah, and I think a lot of people are getting away from that and just being like, just post what's real. And so, I mean, I do try to do that on my channel to be like, here's what it really looks like. But I do think the idea sticks with people, right? And then you've got this kind of idea that you're not good.

enough or that, you know, I can't do this. Someone else can do this, but I can't. And then, you know, to that end, social media also is telling us we should be able to dress beautifully and have this crazy curated wardrobe and stay in shape and have this house and meal plan and make bento boxes for our kids that look like they came from this really fancy sushi restaurant. Like, that's not real. Nobody actually lives like that. Those are photos. They are staged. Do not believe the lies. Or maybe some people are doing those bento boxes for their kids' lunch, but something in their life is failing because we can't be juggling all the balls. I would rather do everything a little crappy than do one thing perfect. Like that's my mantra in life. I just want to be just a little

crappy. I've just and I do things crappy too. Like I don't fold my underwear. I don't fold my, I will never fold that crap. I will never do it. I don't fold my teetail. I don't fold my t-tail. I shove them in a drawer and you can sometimes not get the drawer open. But if I had to do that perfectly, something else would have to go. And I'm barely keeping my head above water just maintaining crap, you know, just doing everything not great. But I'm happier when I'm not dropping balls. Does this make sense? Like, I'd spend the time with my family.

I'm doing my hobbies. I'm watching a crap ton of Netflix. my house is generally pretty tidy. I'm in okay health. Like, I'm just, when I try to, like, be super Uber fit that eats super clean, everything else is a shit show. Yeah. This is it. Isn't just me?

No, it's not just you. It's completely, it completely makes sense because I'm totally with you. And this is the biggest lesson I've learned about cleaning is I always thought, yeah, it either had to be trash city or immaculate, you know, Martha Stewart. And there's no in between. There's no like real life. There's just crazy chaos and perfection. And through this whole process, the biggest thing I've learned is a little bit counts. Every little bit counts. Cleaning one thing counts. Cleaning one drawer counts. You know, making your bed one morning, that counts. Do not let me hear you say, well, I made my bed, but I also blah, blah, blah. Great. You made your bed. Stop. End of sentence. Fantastic. You made.

your bed. Wonderful. Be proud. Maybe you didn't make it yesterday. Maybe you didn't make it all month. That's amazing. You made your bed. Stop. You know? And maybe the next year you're like, I did all the dishes. Wow, that was amazing. Great. You don't say, but my blah, blah, blah is, oh, who cares? My husband always says, you always say you're trying to catch up with laundry. He says, who catches up with laundry? We are currently wearing clothing. Therefore, dirtying laundry. there is no catching up with laundry, it's never going to happen. Like, stop saying that. I just want people to be nice to themselves because I was so hard on myself for so long and just give yourselves a break.

I know I'm miserable in a dirty, messy house. I know this about myself. So I know the basics are a priority. I have to. I can't just say, oh, well, you know, because then I'm really unhappy. Yeah. And so where's the middle ground here? And for me, it's, I'm a nighttime person. And so I have one non-negotiable. I do a nighttime routine and it's just, I make something better, usually the kitchen. And I'm just, I have to before get bed, spend some time. And that consistency of whatever I'm doing. It's the consistency has made it possible to keep up instead of a

catching up. So do you have a daily sort of non-negotiable too? Yeah, I do. My non-negotiable is doing the dishes after dinner and having them clean and having the kitchen clean because that being done will help us have, will guarantee we have an easier day the next day. That's my nighttime thing. I mean, I know if I lady is all about shine to sink, that doesn't happen a lot of the time. But the dishes are done and the counters are clean. In the morning, my non-negotiable is actually getting dressed, which I know isn't anything to do with your house, but for me, it is completely, uh, completely overhauled my whole mentality. I get dressed. I take care of myself. I take, I don't even get dressed into anything fancy. Like we homeschool, we're at home. I don't go to drop

off even. But even if it's like sweatpants and a cute little shirt, I'm dressed. I'm not in my pajamas. I've washed my face. I've brushed my teeth. My hair has had a comb through it. Often don't wear makeup, but I sometimes do. And that is my non-negotiable. Self-care. I guess you could call it, has made a big difference for me. Oh, man. That is so, I used to wear my pajamas all day long. And on the days where I don't get dressed, those are the days that I'm, no motivation. I'm just, you know, I'm not, I'm not happy.

But also, I just don't feel like doing anything and everything kind of falls apart. That's so fascinating. I think it is something about getting dressed. We had a day last week mindset. Yeah, we had a day a couple weeks ago and I said, let's have pajama day today, kids. And we're just going to stay in our pajamas, we'll do school in our pajamas. And it was a disaster. Like my kids couldn't focus.

I couldn't focus. We were all this little. And like around 11 a.m. I was like, we're getting dressed. Just get dressed. We're going to do our chores. Let's just get this day back on track. This is crazy.

Why did I even suggest a pajama day? I thought it would be fun. And you know what? It just didn't. work. Same thing, like you say. Yeah, it just zaps your motivation because your brain is telling you it's relaxed, sleepy, layaround time because you're wearing pajamas. And also, God forbid, you have to run out and get something. You're just not going to, or if somebody comes to the door with a package, wear your robe. Yeah, it's just me, it's my tattered robe. Yeah, getting dressed. This bad.

This bad news. Getting dressed does make all the difference. So I love that. We kind of have the same non-negotiables without even realizing it. And that doesn't seem like a big deal when you say it out loud. Like before, I would go days without doing my dishes. I wouldn't pick up anything and then on the weekend, like a maniac have to clean. Yeah. How that no matter what you're going to do this, it doesn't matter what it is, no pressure, but you're going to get the kitchen clean and maybe do a little soft.

something throughout the day, whatever it is, it has saved me. And it has slowly added up to a clean house. It didn't happen overnight. That's for dang sure. But that consistency turned into a consistently tidyish home,ish being the important part there. Recently you've had like an epiphany about you started feeling overwhelmed and you were so freaking brave. Can I just say that? were just like, I am resetting my life. I am taking a break and I am resetting my life. And I watched your video of you talking about that it was alive actually. It was like sideways for the beginning. That was the best thing I'd ever. I was like, I found that so endearing and so relatable. And I almost got a little teary-eyed because I feel a lot of pressure with social media and

with just life and I have three kids too and I'm running a business and I'm the sole breadwinner. And so there's a lot of like, and to hear you say, hey man, just turn it off and it's okay. Was like, what? Yeah. You can do that. So please just share with us. Like what, how are you? What's your advice?

Well, it's just that. This world gives us so much. put on our shoulders. I mean, it's supposed to be easier now with all this technology, and it's not. You have all these things, and then the piles of guilt, whether you're a mom or your wife, or your single person that's supposed to be doing X, Y, Z, or you're a retired person that's not feeling, you know, purposeful or whatever. There's the guilt and the burden and that we should and I should and I could be doing and I'm not doing. And the lack of permission to rest, and recharge is appalling. Nobody just says, hey, had a nap today. Check, right? So I think I got to a place in

my life where I was so overwhelmed, something had to give. And I'm so blessed that my secret slob, YouTube stuff, it makes money. That's fun. But it is not the sole moneymaker for our family. So I could step away. And it just came to a point where I was resenting myself for having said yes and committing to all these things that I just, I had to stop. And it was a very instantaneous thing. It happened one day. Something personal happened I don't want to talk about, but it was a very instantaneous decision. And I just said, I'm done. And I didn't actually know if I was going to come back. I didn't know. I didn't know if this was going to be something I was capable of supporting anymore. Not, well, supporting, obviously I still support what I said, but just continuing on

with and not feeling so burdened because I don't feel good saying, oh, do this and do this. And, you know, this helps. But meanwhile, I'm just drowning. So I think, yeah, taking that break made a huge difference for me. And even when I came back into that live, I was like, well, I just got to let people know I'm okay. But I still don't know what I'm going to do. So I'm kind of inching back in and we'll see how it goes. But I really do want to kind of come from a different angle, whereas before I was like, let's get organized. Now I want to be like, let's get organized and take care of ourselves first. So that's kind of where I'm at. I'm going to come to you so you can just say, calm down a little bit, Cass. I mean, I say it, but then also I get caught up. Like,

I look at other people in this doing all these amazing things. And I get tricked into social media, too. And I'm just like, why can't I juggle everything as well as they are? Why can't I do it? As soon as I try to get really, really, really good at one thing, everything else seems to fall away. Yeah. And it's frustrating. And it makes me feel really bad about myself.

So I love that you're just coming from a place like, hey, nobody's doing it all well. No. And like you said, if you're doing everything somewhere, some things got to give. And I remember seeing this Instagrammer. She quit last year and she was really popular. I can't remember her name. But she said her hair was falling out.

And so on the outside she had like half a million followers and she had all these deals and all these other things. And then she finally one day just sat down and this maybe was my inspiration of it. She sat down and just said, I can't. This is what's happening to me because of this. And it's making it like my family life is suffering. My kids are suffering. It can't.

Can't do this anymore. And I totally related because I was, I don't know. your kids are a little bit older but I was like telling my kids like shh-sh I just have to film this thing hi everyone be quiet okay so now we're gonna shh shh that's not fair to them so it's just like no and it's not fair to you and it's not fair to your viewers either like this is I I feel you we're I love organizing I do it changed my life it made me happy I I want to help other people but am I really helping people if I'm not being completely honest about my struggles too? Right?

Am I just feeding into that and everybody watching is now going to feel the way I feel watching other people? Ah, that's a nightmare. That makes me sick. Yeah. I could definitely be a little more brutally honest. My house is tidy 99% of the time, but also I got to work at it too. Yeah. Like I do.

It's effort. I got to remind myself. I have alarms that go off to remind me to tidy. And at the end of the day, I'm doing it solely for my mental health. Because when things get out of control visually, I feel really, like, stressed out. Yeah. But I think that's not for everyone. Like if it doesn't bother you to have a pile, who the freak cares?

Yeah. I think, though, too, like one thing that you're doing amazing is showing people that there's different ways with the clutterbug system, different ways. different ways to achieve the same goal. Not everybody's going to get organized in the same way, right? And people who are naturally organized often look at us and say, don't you just do it? They just do it.

Well, you don't just do it. You have to have a system, and someone has to teach you that system, and not every system is going to work for everyone. And I think that's what you do so beautifully is teach that you're a different person, your brain works differently from so-and-so's brain and so-and-so's. And find that way that works. And that's going to serve you so much better than trying to force yourself into a box that's not you.

And if you have tried and failed, that isn't failure. That's just now you know that that doesn't work for you. That's what I found so, like, that's what started me on this whole journey. It was like, I couldn't file my paperwork to save my life. Now I throw it in a bin labeled the year and I don't file it. And now my paper is all tidy and organized. And I'm like, I had to fail at something and suck really hard to just realize, hey, man, that just doesn't work for my brain. I'm going to try something else. Oh, that doesn't work. I'm

going to try. I'm going to try. So if you're listening to this, I would encourage you to just try something else. You recommend Diane from Denmark? I've never watched this channel. And I want to go watch her now. She is the most heartwarming, beautiful person, inspiring. She just spreads a message of fun and love and self-care and doing that little bit and cheering yourself. And cheering yourself on and being unequivocally yourself. She is completely 100% my inspiration, my unofficial mentor in life, and I just want to be her. So yeah, do watch Diane in Denmark. I can't stop screaming her name from the rafter. When I first watched YouTube, she had like 7,000 subscribers and then I kind of started. And she gave me a shout out. We both kind of have been climbing up together. She's the best,

the best person. Well, I also think you are the best person. So if you, again, are listening to this, head over and subscribe to Steph and watch her on The Secret Slab. You're going to see a refreshing, realistic take on just life, getting your home, your family, just being. You're like, you're like chill, man, and I love it. You're just chill. Okay. So let my listeners know where else they can find you. Right.

So right now, like I say, I'm just kind of coming back on a little bit at a time. But on YouTube, I have all of my past stuff. You can see my journey from slobby, slob to kind of having it together. And then my sister and I also have a podcast called The Slob Sisters, which is not a bit of a hiatus, but we have recorded a couple new podcast episodes. So they'll be coming out soon. And then I have a website, thesecretslop.com. And it's all very chill.

Please don't expect very much. It's exactly what I think everyone needs in this day and age right now. It's relatable, real life advice to just get life under control without these insane expectations, without the pressure. And it feels like just talking to a friend. So again, thank you so much for being on today's podcast. I am excited to go check out Diane right now. And yeah, I feel like I think I'm going to turn off social media for the rest. of the day. Okay. You know, I'm going to not answer emails. I'm not going to worry about posting.

And maybe I need to put on my to-do list some not-to-dos. Yeah. Like today you're not checking your email. To don'ts. To don'ts. This sounds amazing. I need a to-don't list. There you go. Thank you so much, Steph. It was amazing, amazing chatting with you. I appreciate it. And thank you everyone for spending time and listening and we'll see you guys next time.