Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Home Organization Tips and Tricks with Kathryn from Do It On A Dime | Clutterbug Podcast # 138

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

YouTuber Kathryn Snearly from "Do It On A Dime" joins me in today's podcast!  We talk about everything from the stresses of back-to-school prep to how to building your child's self-esteem and how to talk to your kids about mental health. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's like a real podcasting. Are you going to do podcasts? Maybe. Hey, Clutterbugs. Welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. I'm so really geek today because we have Catherine from Do It on a Dime as a guest. I feel like you're my friend, Catherine, but I also am one of your biggest fans. So this is a little bit of a fan girl moment. Please introduce. I mean, everybody knows who you are, but please introduce yourself. Cass, you are just such a lovable human. I'm so honored that you asked me to do this. I think it's so funny that it took us like, we've been doing YouTube forever and it took us a darn decade to actually meet in person. I'm Catherine. I have a YouTube channel called Do It on a Dime and a blog, do it on a dime.com. And I started 10 years ago when I was teaching middle school Spanish. And I just started making videos on the side because I wanted to organize my house and do it on a budget. I was a pretty naturally organized person because I was teaching. And nobody was making videos.

videos then. I had like a flip camera and no editing software. I just made it work with Windows movie maker and put stuff online and then it just kept growing. And 10 years later, here I am making videos about how to save money and stretch your dollar and get organized. And they're incredible videos. I mean, I feel like we're OG. We've been here from the beginning, but you're just such an inspiration. We always are like, what's, what's Catherine doing? What is doing on a dime I'm doing. You are like the queen of YouTube. So it's just a real honor to have. But I, I miss the early days of YouTube. I always call it that when it was just a flip camera, no pressure, no real editing software, which is why I love podcasting. Can we just say that for a second? Yes. Yes. This feels to me like

freedom. We just get to chat about whatever the heck we want. And no pressure. And, And we don't really even edit things out. And if we make a mistake, it's cool. We go with the flow. And it's just such a lovely platform. So I'm so, so honored to have you on this podcast. I'm hoping you like it so much. You start a podcast of your own. I have the mic now. You guys can't see it. But I have my new mic. So if I sound good, does that mean I should start a podcast? You 100% should start a podcast. I would be your biggest fan on your podcast, too. I mean, I love that. But we're not going to just chat all day about us, you guys listening. We're going to talk about back to school.

We're going to talk about anxiety and mental health and getting organized and all of that stuff. Are your kids back in school already? No. We actually, we're leaving on Saturday for the beach. So it's going to be a couple more weeks before they go back. But we just kind of did like the big shop to get back into the swing of things. Yeah.

What about your kids? Are they there? We don't go back until September, but we're going to Europe for a couple of weeks. And then as soon as we get back, it's like two days later, we start school. So we're doing the same thing. We're getting prepared now. And it's a stressful time of year for me. I'm so stressed with back to school, three kids, two in high school.

I would love to hear. I mean, you're just like, you're organized, you do things on a budget. You just have your life together in this epic way. So tell me, help me. Are you prepared? And what are you doing to get prepared? First of all, just to kind of tie back to what you said, initial days of YouTube was just so transparent. It was raw.

It was authentic. And being transparent and raw and authentic, we do not have everything together at all. I was actually just talking with Charlie about this the other day. The transition tailspin, I hate transitions. And it makes me anxious and then it makes my kids anxious. And sometimes I don't even realize it. Like, it could be as simple as going from, okay, like a long week of work and now we're going to go to the beach and then we come back from the beach and then we need to get back into school. It's like, to me, that's chaos. And I feel like I get grumpy. I get, yeah, I don't even know my kids

are the same way. And I'm like, what is going on. And no matter what I try to do to get out of that, no matter what, I have to just recognize that I am going to be in that transition tailspin into anything. And so I think my motto this year, I was talking about this again with Charlie, is just like a whole lot of less, like a whole lot of less. Like I love a good system. I love good organization. I like my kitchen to be clean, go through and get some decluttering done. But it's like, what can I take off my plate right now to make things easier? That's honestly where I feel like I am this year. Like one, I don't need one more fancy little thing or one more cute thing because I don't even think my kids want that either. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I love that less. Yeah. Looking back, I also get into a tail. I've never heard anyone call it that, like that tailspin, that tail and tailspin, but so true. I come back from a vacation even, even like a day away as a family reunion. I come back and I feel like I'm sort of spiraling. I feel like I've been taken out of my comfort zone, but there's a new change. And back to school is very stressful for me, probably for the same reason. I feel so overwhelmed with all of the pressure I'm putting on myself. Yes. Getting all the supplies, getting new clothes, do they need backpacks? They need shoes. They have to get haircuts. Like, what is going? It's not like you go from one day to this other insanely changing thing. So I don't know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself.

I know it. And I like it too. Oh, my goodness. So do you remember, you must remember this hack. This was a couple of years ago. There was like this viral hat going on. I was like back to school time. I promise this is going somewhere. And you had, you would buy Ziploc bags and you could turn your Ziploc bags into a butterfly that you put into your kids lunch. Do you remember this? Oh, I did this. I did this. So you like, you fill up. And I, I'm sure I did too. Like on, I totally made that, right? You fill up like part of it with pretzels and part of it with grapes. And then you put a clothespin in the center of it. And you add like the little antenna and then you draw the butterfly face on the clothes pin and it's in your kids lunches. And my, my youngest, who he just tells it like it is, he picked this thing up one day and he goes, how the heck do you open this? And I was like, you know what? I literally decided in that moment, I don't want to be the Ziplac butterfly mom. container lunch person. Like I, I was like this. My kids don't want this. My kids don't need this. This is, they want time. They want face time with me. They don't need all of those extra things. So I've been asking myself a lot recently. Like, is this the Ziploc butterfly bag moment? Like, can I like just like, I need to just. I love it. Can I take this out? Like, do my kids actually need to have this in their lives? It's so true. I used to, I used to do. I used to do.

like those bento boxes and I would watch YouTube videos on like making school lunches and these moms would be preparing like gourmet meals and like placing avocado and sprinkling sesame seeds on top like what is happening and I felt like such a failure because I don't put that much effort into dinners let alone school lunches and I always said making school lunches was but the worst chore I would rather clean toilets well now we just have a snack center and it's like yo make your own lunch, make a sandwich, you got this. I love that, a snack center. I love that. And they, and they're, they take ownership of it and they're doing it themselves. And I feel like that's, because you only have so much band within the day. So like, what are you putting your energy to? And are you getting

that back? Is it actually giving you more time or is it just literally like a twiddling thumb moment that it's not actually going to help you in the long run? I don't know. I feel like that, that really is, that really is my goal this year. And also normalizing that as as being okay. Like, you can't do all of the things. And I like to be able to talk about that with other women, other moms to say, like, this is what I don't do. Like, these are the stuff I do that helps, like the snack center. And then these are the things I'm not doing at all. Like, I love this so hard because there is so much pressure as a mom to like and have everything labeled with this cute labels. And I feel this. I feel this pressure.

especially back to school. Totally. And I mean, like, to be fully transparent, I do not make my kids' lunches. I also do not. And they eat hot lunch every single day. My son loves it. And they have like things in place so they can't like just get like a plate of fries and Snickers bars, right? Like the kids have to like choose between certain things. My kids love it. I don't have to make lunch the night before. Now I'm not the mom who's doing like the cute notes in the lunches or the butterfly things. But every night, dinner, my family sits down as a family of four. We all sit at the table and we eat a hot meal together. And like, that's where I'm investing the time. I want to get there. I want to get there so bad. You know what I just did? I just made 50 million school notes. I spent hours writing all these

stupid lunchbox notes and cutting them out because I feel, I do. I feel so much pressure to be a good mom. but that isn't being a good mom. Well, but that's the other thing too. Like don't shame yourself for the spots where you're rocking it. Like there are so many things like as your friend that I can see in you that you are just so good at. Like you just have it together and like awesome. Like that.

But I don't want to do it, Catherine. Those type of things. This is what I'm hearing from you. I'm feeling external pressure. To do these things, which is so. time consuming and so insane. And it was a few years ago that I said, you are old enough to make your own lunches when you're home. You're old enough to make your own lunches for school. And I felt like, what if what if the teachers judge the fact that they're probably not putting fruit in their lunch?

But I've let that go. And I want to get to where you are, where I've let it all go and just embrace like, you know, me. Take it or leave it, man. I wish I was at that spot too. And I know. I'm not. I think for me it's a daily choice to have to say, like, I'm going to do this and I'm not going to do this and that's okay, whether it's with my house, whether it's with my kids or something I'm doing or cooking a meal or whatever to give yourself some grace. Because, man, if you don't, like it, it wears on you after a while. I don't sleep. I get insomnia. I don't. I got to let it go. I let it go. Yeah. You think, I really think. kids feel this pressure to in their own world, their own type of pressure.

My daughter's going to be 16 soon. And during COVID, we did online school. It was just such a, just a stressful time for the entire world. And she started having some real mental health struggles that started coming out during COVID. And I think a lot of it was the pressure to get good grades, the pressure she should be having friends. She should be out partying with friends. I'm in high school. She kept saying, I should be doing this. My life should be looking like this. The same type of pressures we feel as adults just in a different way. And I love to just talk to you about that because I think you definitely talk a lot about mental health and you have a real amazing way of looking at it and just simplifying it and making everyone feel heard and not shameful.

And living with a child who's struggling, it's a whole new ballgame. It's given me a lot more. empathy for sure for people who are struggling. Absolutely. And I think even I'm so sorry that she is dealing with that. Like it is, I think all of the things from the last couple of years are kind of now just starting to manifest itself and how it's looking like getting back into routines. These things are big. And I feel like we kind of had to to get through things, sort of shove it down. And now they're all coming out. And they say that in the thick of raising very small people, you know, you've got an infant, you've got babies, you think to yourself, oh, this is so hard. And I remember moms would say, bigger kids, bigger problems, bigger kids, bigger problems. And I was like, I don't think it could be

harder than this. And then as your kids get older, you're like, oh, my gosh, it's really hard. It's just they surprise you in new ways. And the things that they struggle with maybe is something that you've never dealt with yourself. And it is so hard. And I was a middle school teacher for 10 years. But even looking at that, being a parent of a middle schooler and high schooler is completely different than teaching a middle schooler and high schooler. And no two kids are the same. I'm a mental health advocate, but not certified as a psychiatrist or, you know, therapists or anything like that. But I do think what you said and what I've learned in my own therapy too is that empathetic ear to sit down and listen is literally the most important thing

that you can give your kids. I don't know if you know Paul Jenkins. Have you heard of him? He's a psychologist. Oh, he is the best. And if you're a YouTuber, you can find him. He has a channel called Live on Purpose TV. And it's basically how to talk to and love your kids. And there's a lot of parenting advice out there that I kind of look at. I'm like, I don't know about that. I love this man. He is. Tell me again. Tell everybody listening again. Where can they find him? Paul Jenkins and Live on Purpose TV, I don't know him. I'm not like, I literally just came across his videos, but he just has the best way of sitting down and kind of instilling that message into your kids of you are enough, you can do this. And not only that, I'm here for you. Because really, that's what

kids need to hear. He has this three, I'm trying to remember all of them. He has like three things that you should say to your kids every single day. Most parents are probably doing some of these things all the time, but it's such a good reminder. I'm trying to remember them. The first one is that kids need to hear. I love you always, no matter what, and even if you can do it. And if you have any questions, I'm here. So to tell them this, you've got this. And when you're ready, you can come to me. And good luck, right? Because you're not, it's not that helicopter parent where you're kind of trying to control everything. It's not the authoritarian parent. But it's really that sitting with and coming alongside in that empathetic ear. It's it's in their hands to make those choices, especially as they get older,

that they're in control, but you're always there cheering them on. You're enough and I've got you, kind of, kind of a thing. And he has tons of videos that addresses all of these things way more in depth than that right there. But I just love it. And it's helped me be a better parent. Not a perfect one. I'll never be. And no one is, but a better one. I love really. That's so great. I'm going to definitely check him out. We've come a long way with Izzy. And I think, looking at it now, it was pressure. And I didn't realize, I mean, looking back, did I feel pressure as a teen? I don't know. She's thinking big thoughts. What is she going to do for the rest of her life? What's her going to look like? She has,

like she has to pick now. And she's not doing great in some subjects, well, I can't do that if I don't get an A and this. And all this insane pressure that kids are putting on themselves, whether they're telling you or not. I feel like they're feeling this. And then because she wasn't doing great in online school, it was almost like, well, if I can't be perfect, I might as well not try it all. The same type of thoughts that that adults have, right, when they're struggling with something, maybe getting their house organized or they feel like they're not great at something. They sort of throw their hands up because failure or perception of failure feels so awful that we just avoid even trying in certain situation. So learning this about her and just taking the pressure off like, we, we don't care what your

grades are. We just want you to try. There's no pressure. Things are going to work out. Everything started really changing for her, just having someone to talk to. And it's not like we weren't there before, but I don't think we were opening up the communication in the right way. If that makes sense. No, totally. To have like a therapist or like an outside person be able to come in and listen and help you because all relationships come with baggage, right? You know, I know as a mom, like there's certain things that Carson will say or Owen will say. And I'm like, that sounds just like me. That's the same. I totally say these things. I don't want them to say it because that that doesn't feel good. I know I don't like me saying these things. But it kind of opens your eyes to the

fact that like, yeah, like we're and when we're living all in the same house all the time together and dealing with our own stuff, it is so helpful to give them. that space to be able to talk to somebody and open up and have that third party to reinforce some of those things that you're saying at home and also give you a new perspective, right? Yeah. And realize that they, it's so crazy. Raising babies was hard physically. Raised teens is hard emotionally. I'm just worried about them all the time. I'm worried they go out with their friends. I'm like, should I track that phone? Are they okay? Are they getting abducted? Are they staying late? Are they drinking? Are they doing making good choices? Ah, yeah.

It's insane. And again, I am talking now to a therapist about all of this and she's talking to a therapist about all of that. And it's so helpful to all of us. It really has been such a like changing thing. So we're getting in a really good spot looking at the struggle as sort of, it was such a blessing. Right. At the time, it didn't feel like a blessing. But now looking how much further we've come emotionally. both of us, all of us, our entire family, it's really been a blessing. That's awesome. And to be excited about that progress too, right? Like, it's not like all these things are resolved overnight, but to see it heading in that direction. And, you know, it's the old adage that a problem shared is a problem halved, right? So when you can finally

get it out and just even say those things, that's like, in some ways, a big chunk of the battle, right? Just to be able to say, like, hey, I am struggling with this. And then you can dive into it. Like, is there a reason? Does this make sense that I'm actually feeling this way? Do I need to have the perfect A or get all this done or, you know, achieve this to get into the school I want or whatever it is? Other people who you trust can help give you that perspective and make you feel less alone, too. Yeah. So, so true. Okay. That's great. Let's talk about good stuff, the real good stuff. We were in lockdown here in Canada for two years. It was insanity time. So, my kids didn't go to school for two years. They did online school, which some people, homeschool,

I don't know how you do it. But listen, those homeschoolers, I'm just saying, you're super women, okay, or met up. Parents. It's in, I'm just, I really struggled with online school. And so did my kids. They, they're just not that type of people's, but we're back. And now there's clubs. And my daughter's doing early morning music. And she's like, I'm going to join the yearbook club. And There's all this great stuff coming. And I'm so happy for all the kids going back to school who get to, you know what I've found is years ago talking about clubs and after school sports. My kids were like, that's lame.

Now that they didn't have the opportunity to do it, they're looking forward to it so much. And they're so excited about just being more social with people and getting out of their comfort zone, getting out of the house and doing things. So I guess I'm wondering how things are going with you and your family and what you're looking forward to. Yeah. You know, I think it really does give you a greater appreciation for some of those things. And I can think back even like pre all of the COVID stuff. I remember having extra complaints about some of the extra activities.

Like in my own mind, I think to myself, okay, we've got a birthday party this Saturday. And then we got the soccer game. And then we got this and it almost became like a running list of like half to do. And I'm not saying we didn't enjoy them or appreciate them because I think we did. But it was sort of like this subtle like it's another thing on the list and plate. And now I think when some of those things have come back, it's that same relief. It's like, whoa, there's all these cool things. And we're really excited about it.

And watching your kids find things that they're really passionate about is really cool too. It sounds like your kids kind of like have these clubs that they're really into and interested in. I don't think my kids are there yet. Like they're still pretty young. I mean, Owen, my youngest, we held him back. a year. So he did an extra year of TK. And now he's going to start kindergarten a year late, which I am so glad that we did. Oh my goodness. So glad to kind of see some other strengths and the things like, Owen is the fastest runner. He's really into that and playing soccer and doing swim. So we're kind of

in the same boat. And I'm not going to lie. I feel a little bit transition tail spin about it because there's a lot that needs to coordinate for that to start with school. But it is also really exciting. It's exciting that they're going to have a schedule and something that once we fall into is going to be really, really good for them. And kind of towing that line between not overcommitting to things, but like letting them explore. I'd actually be curious, Cass, your take on that. Mine has always been, I don't want to like pressure my kids into doing just one thing, right? Like that I'm like, you know, they call it like the stage mom or whatever, but like this is like your thing. I want to see you like succeed at this and letting them explore what they want.

And my thing has always been my kids have to, if they start something, they have to finish the season. So if you start soccer, even if you hate it, you have to finish the season. Because we are exactly the same. Yes. You have to see it through to the end of the season, but you don't have to do it again. But Joe has always said, you have to do something. You have to do a sport or something. And I always took the approach like, why?

I never did anything like that as a kid. And I'm like, why do you have to do that? But now I see how important that was. It taught my kids that, like, they discovered passions they didn't know that they had. We've tried everything. Gymnastics, singing, music, piano, it's hockey, soccer, badminton. So you're in this stage that I'm in right now. We put them in. We put them in everything. And 99% of it was, I hate this. And it was, well, let's follow it through. We'll try some. something new the next year. But I'm so glad that we at least tried something new because every single one of my children has discovered a talent and a passion. That's amazing. The trial and error. Yes. So Isabel tried every sport, everything. She didn't like any of it. Finally, it was like Taekwondo. It was like literally the last thing we possibly could have tried. She has her black belt now. Wow. Yeah, it loves it. And Abby was, singing and doing ukulele and then she was so great at it. Catherine, like I was like,

I have a little genius here. I went full stage mom. Bad idea. Bad idea. Because she was like, I don't love this anymore. I'm not liking it. So I just thought you're going to make a mistake if you give it up. But we took off the pressure. She's playing hockey. And now she's going back to music out of pleasure because she wants to not out of lessons. So I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I think it's hard as a parent because it is, are we pressuring them? Are we, are we putting too much on them? But now that I'm out of that, I am jealous, can I say that your kids are just starting school because that's such a glorious time. My kids are getting into high school now. It's like, oh, man, I wish I had little kids. But my advice, you would be keep, keep putting things.

Because when you see your kid find something that they are incredible at and that they are, incredible at and that they love, I have never felt so much pride and joy and happiness for them. Yes. Then watching them find their thing. And it took years of trying a million different things. But now that they've each found their thing, I'm also a little bit, I'm just, I'm happy for them. And I wish my parents would have put me in a million things because who knows? Maybe I'd play the violin or something. who knows. And I hear like what I'm really hearing you say too is like the ownership that they have

of it. It's not your thing that you put them in. It's their thing that they love. And they can find what it what success looks like for them. Because long term, that's that's what it is, right? It's finding that drive inside yourself to want to keep going because it's something you're passionate about. That's that is such a beautiful thing. And it really affirms the we tried the taekwondo thing. It did not work out for our family. Taekwondo is another thing. That was special. Oh, it was like this little small gym and Owen was so small. He was like two and hobbling around and throwing things and it was hot and I was like sitting like this between chairs going, I just can't wait to leave here and my son hated it. I was like, nope. And that's the thing. I think kids know.

So we put everything and she was like, I don't like this. I don't like this. As soon as we put her in Taekwondo, I'm like, this seems horrible. They were like, the instructor was like hitting her with a stick to stand up straight like a padded stick but I'm like my baby this seems awful she comes out she's like I love taekwondo I'm like okay we found something that you love yeah yeah yeah that's I think I think that's it um and you really do I mean it's just like with anything right like you kind of got to try a bunch of stuff that works I mean like in that to to home organization to anything like sometimes you just try out a system and you do it and you're like, I looked at those butterfly Ziploc bags and I was like, that might be for somebody else. That is not for me.

So true. Do the true. Right. Like we're all kind of walking the same path in a way. They're just smaller versions of adults. Right. And when it doesn't work, it's not a failure. It's just like, oh, that didn't work for me. So I have to move on to the thing that will. Yes. Yep. And to not give up hope that you'll find the thing that's going to, you know, you're going to find enjoyment in or the thing that's going to work with you and not just throw out the baby with the bathwater and be like, well, nothing will ever work. But I guess I'll never have a passion. Yeah, it's so, it's so true. I love that. Thank you for chatting with me. I'm feeling just, I don't know. I'm feeling you have a tendency of making people feel heard and calm and just

happy. You have an energy, Catherine, and it comes through even, just on a microphone. So I appreciate you, friend. Thank you, friend. You make it so easy. You are just a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for being here on the podcast. Can you let everybody know again where they can find you? I know that they've all found you, but find her everywhere. Your Facebook is incredible. I just follow you out and everything and you're incredible. So let everybody know how they can find you. The main place to find me is on YouTube. Do it on a dime. YouTube.com do it on a dime. You can find me on my blog, do it on a dime blog.com. I'm on Instagram, TikTok, all the things, except for Twitter. I don't do Twitter and I never will.

Same. Same. Stay smart. Don't do it. Thank you so much. And thank you for everybody listening. And we will see you guys next time.