Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - How to REALLY Know Yourself - Are you a Fish is a Tree? | Clutterbug Podcast # 33

Episode Date: December 22, 2017

How well do you REALLY know yourself? In this podcast I talk about how really understanding yourself can help you acheive success in every area of your life, especially your home.  Are you drowning in clutter? You may not be a messy person, you may just be a fish in a tree.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys and welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. Today I want to talk about something that's basically the same because all of my podcasts are the same about clutter, but also a little bit different because I want to talk about knowing yourself, in understanding yourself and how that can translate to every area of your life, but specifically to your home and being on top of things in your home. And I mean, you're probably like, man, she really loves to clean her house. Listen, that honestly is not it. But I feel for me that going from cluttered and disorganized to clean and organized on the outside had a really big impact on me internally. I still have a bigelian areas of my life where I'm, you know, floundering and not doing great. But this is a

one area that I've worked really hard to overcome these obstacles that I had in being cluttered. And so I feel like I can help you if this is also something that you're struggling with. So yeah, am I obsessed with cleaning my house? No. Is this all I talk about outside of podcasts and YouTube videos? Absolutely not. I never even mention it. But I'm sharing, I guess, the insight that I do have in this one tiny little subject in the hopes that it can, and reach someone who is also struggling like I was. Because your physical environment 100% affects you internally. If you're coming home from work or you're waking up in the morning and the first thing you're greeted with is mess, work, clutter,

the things that you know you're like, oh, I have to deal with this, that does something to your mood. It does something to how you feel about yourself, and it's a negative thing that it does. So I'm not going to suggest that you, you know, go full, clean freak and scrub and clean and do these things all the time. I do really want to stress that it is an important part in your well-being and your happiness. And it doesn't have to take a lot of work and effort to get there. even if right now you're drowning in clutter and you're having all these other areas of your life that you feel are out of control, the catalyst for change may just be your physical environment at home. That may be the jumping off point. And even if you're already living in a clean and organized house

and you've already realized the impact that it can have on your mood and your happiness and your family life and you're listening to this podcast or watching my videos because, well, you're just really into organizing. That's amazing too. And hopefully today's podcast can offer a little bit of unique insight in other areas of your life that can be applied if you've already mastered the art of organization. So let's just get started. Today I really wanted to talk about the fact that we are all so different and so unique, but there are some tendencies that the majority of the population tends to have that people who don't have those little tendencies, and they tend to be a little bit different, the majority can have a negative impact on them. My daughter, I think, is going to read fish

in a tree. It's a new novel coming out. Her aunt bought it for her for Christmas, and this is something, this is a quote, of course, the book isn't based on the quote, but it sort of is. Everyone is smart in different ways. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its life believing it is stupid. And this really touches me in so many ways because for myself, I always struggled with attention and paying attention. I have ADHD, I've been diagnosed. I'm actually now taking medication recently in the past a week, actually. But as a child, I was like a complete spas muffins and I spent a lot of time in the hall, a lot of time in detention, a lot of time being yelled at by teachers and not a lot of time really learning.

And I didn't do great on tests and I grew up thinking there was something just fundamentally really wrong with me and that I was really, really dumb. I was different and I was being judged based on the majority instead of my own unique ability. So I really found that this also applies to a really big area in people's home, and that's their home organization. The majority of organizing solutions, the majority, like everything you see on Pinterest and in magazines and on television, all of those organizing styles, when you open up an organizing book and you look at these beautiful pictures, they are all based on an organizing style for people who like simplicity. and people who like things, you know, sort of put away, hidden away. So we've talked in the past about the different organizing styles, the four different organizing styles. And I'm going to talk about them right now again just to refresh your memory because

specifically there is two organizing styles that don't fit the norm. They are the least popular. So the majority of people out there are either crickets or ladybugs. And the small majority are butterflies or bees. And specifically, butterfly really tend to struggle with clutter. But I believe it's not that they were born messy or born to have to struggle with things, but that it was a learnt behavior. because their unique style doesn't fit in with the norm,

because all the organizing solutions that you can buy in a store that you can see that people can teach you are not tailored to you. They will fail. Then you will feel like a failure. You'll feel like a disorganized person. And even young, in your young years, trying to do things like use a binder in school or keep your desk organized. if you're not given the tools that fit your unique style, you're going to feel from a young age that you're a disorganized person that you're messy and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I really truly believe that. So let's quickly break down the four different organizing styles. First I'm going to break them into two groups making this really simple. I've definitely overcomplicated this in the past. I've, you know, did a test and it was all like complicated. things like what type of magazine do you like to read like as I've grown I've really been able to break it down and simplify it and I wish I would have done that in the beginning but I'm simplifying it for you now so there are let's break it down into two groups first there are people who like abundance and there are people who like simplicity so what I what I mean by that is there are people who like are collectors and visual and like to see their belongings and have a lot of things

and there are people who prefer minimal. And I'm not talking a full minimalist, but people who prefer to have minimal clutter and not see everything they own. So those are two groups that we've broken apart. Now, there's two other groups as well. There are people who love to have things meticulously put away. So they really like systems and labeling

and having a thing in alphabetical order and having a proper place for things. And they, you know, they want systems, systems, systems, systems when it comes to organization. And then there are people who want quick and easy. They just don't want to have to put things away in a proper place. They want to be able to toss it back and have it go in its home and not even think about it and worry about it. And so when you take these categories and then you break them up again, And let's talk about each bug and how these apply. So we'll start with me.

I'm a ladybug. So I really like minimal clutter, minimal visual clutter. I don't like to see a lot of my things. It definitely causes anxiety. But I also am a person who likes simplicity, quick and easy organizing solutions. So I cannot have a closet where everything is in, you know, stacked beautiful bins with lids on them, labeled and really segregated or a filing system that is divided. I don't know, each little tiny thing. Like, I can't have a file folder for my bills. That's one for electricity and one for gas and one for

credit cards. I have to have one for bills because I need it to be quick and easy and shove those away and move on. So that is my organizing style. So I take the minimal clutter approach, but I also have to have a really easy organizing solution. Then there's a cricket who is like a ladybug in that they like simple as well. Really clutter-free, minimal home, but they also have to have really detailed organizing systems. So they're going to have, they're like, they're the Uber organized people. They want their files really, you know, divided. They want their everything put away in a proper home.

My husband's a cricket. He has like all his bolts sorted by size and all his, I don't know, ivory tool and everything, all really, really compartmentalized and labeled. And that is how he puts things away. So we've butted heads in the past when it comes to paper and bills because he's like, why can't you just, I set up this system and everything's crazy detailed and you just take this paper and you put it in its proper home. And I'm like, that's nuts.

That takes forever. Why can't we put everything in bills? worry about it at tax time. So we have different systems. So we had to come up with something that worked for both of us. But we still both agree on the same, I guess, a home outlook where we have a visually clutter-free and pretty minimal home. So jumping onto the other side, someone who likes abundance and visual and likes to have a lot of things, let's start with a B. So a B, they like to have a lot of things. They tend to have a lot of tools and maybe they're collectors. And I mean, they like to see things. They like to have abundance in life. But they're also really meticulous.

So this is someone who likes to see and have a lot of things in their home, but everything has a really proper home and really detailed place where it goes. Maybe they have, you know, they're a huge book collector and they have thousands of books. But they're all put away into categories and subcategories and they're all on bookshelves and they're really put away properly. And then we have the other end of the coin, which is a butterfly. And a butterfly is really visual. They're collectors too. They like to have an abundance of things in their life and in their home, but they need a simple, simple way to put that away. They're not going to take the time to put things in, you know, alphabetical order or put things in certain little folders or little

areas and really break it down. So this is where the problem comes in for a butterfly specifically. And almost every person that I've met who is drowning in clutter, who is in a hoarding situation, who, yeah, is really struggling with their home in a big way is a butterfly. And if you talk to them, they will tell you that they've always been a messy person, that they're disorganized and and that that's just the way that they were born. But the truth is, there are not organizing solutions that are readily available. They can't look in a book and on a magazine and on TV or YouTube and find solutions. That would work for them.

All of those solutions generally are tailored to crickets and ladybugs. So here's the thing. They can't use a system where their papers are all put away in different file folders in a drawer and shut away. because it causes anxiety to them. They need to see their things. They need to see them in order to alleviate some of that anxiety. They need clear bins. They need hooks. Most, I would say, every single butterfly that I know basically has an empty closet. I mean, a closet is empty. And all the clothes are laid over top of the dresser. The dresser drawers are generally empty. There are things are laid on top of the dresser, laid on top of the chair, and you're probably thinking,

if you're a cricket or a ladybug like me, well, wow, it takes like two seconds to put those things away. But here's the thing. A butterfly doesn't want to put the things away. They want to see them. So a really simple solution is to take the doors off the closet for a butterfly. You know what? I've done this with clients in the past and have a lot of people who have helped online and through Skype and just through YouTube. And this works. Taking the doors off, having, you know, hooks inside for the clothes that they use all the time, that they can hang hooks inside their closet.

Or just being able to visually see that, 100% works for them. Get rid of the dresser. If you're a butterfly, a dresser is not going to work for you. Instead, I recommend a shelving unit. I'm a huge fan of the IKEA shelving units. and get colored bins with labels on them or better yet clear bins for things like underwear and socks and pajamas. They're away so they're not taking away your living space, but they're still really visual and you can see them. So you're going to have to get creative, which is amazing because

butterflies are creative people. But this is where it brings me back to the whole point of this podcast. It's knowing yourself. It is so important. to know yourself before you can change any habit. Maybe you're, you know, a morning person or maybe you're a night owl. If you're a morning person having a really long nightly cleaning routine totally isn't going to work for you. You're tired. You're done. Instead, you should focus on your morning routine. If you're like me and you're a night owl, let's be honest, I am not that person who's going to get up and crush it in the morning and get a lot of stuff done. I'm more like a, I peek at noon. You know, I'm not a morning person. So I need to focus the majority of the stuff that I need to accomplish at night. I need to schedule my time that

tailors and fits me. Let's talk about other areas where this really comes into play. Let's talk about your love languages. I'm sure you've heard about this before. Your love languages is a book that I've years ago. It's really popular. And they talk about the different ways that you like to receive and the ways that you naturally, I guess, give love. And I'm going to put a link to this test, but all you have to do is Google Love Languages Test. Take this test because this is so eye-opening. How do you like to receive love? And how does your spouse or your partner or your children like to receive love? It's really important to know that. for yourself and for your family so you can show them gratitude and for me I like acts of service

and I like gifts I like gift buying that's how I like people to show me that they love me do stuff for me or buy me something but my husband is not like that at all so here I am you know I'll do something for him I'll run and get him a coffee or I'll you know I'll cut the grass for him one day so he doesn't have to. And I'm like, why are you not like happier that I, but that's not his love language. It's, it's not even his love language. And, and I'm probably not, his love language is touch, physical attention, spending time with him. And those are areas that I'm not always giving what he needs. So knowing yourself, it's so important. Are you introverted or are you extra, X, the other one.

Extroverted. Is that what's called? Extraver? Listen, it's before noon, so I'm struggling today. I'm not a morning person. But you're getting the idea, knowing yourself. So when it comes to the gym, when it comes to working out, I hate. I don't want to say that I hate people, but I really hate being around people.

Is that the same thing? That's a different thing, I think. So I like people. I do. but I don't like going to a place where I'm going to be around people, especially new people. I feel really awkward. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to basically leaving my house. And I work from home and I'm home all day. So that amplifies it by like a bajillion. So not only do I sort of loathe the idea of working out, but the biggest thing I'm thinking about

when I'm like, I should go to the gym today is like, I do not want to be in a place with a bunch of other people doing something I hate. And if I could go to a gym that was completely empty, the odds are I'd be there all the freaking time. So knowing yourself can help you overcome obstacles. So a solution for me is hiring someone, a personal trainer, to come to my home. Yes, it's going to be a little bit more money, but I've paid for this gym membership for five freaking years and never gone. I mean, let's let's call a spade a spade. I mean, let's call a spade. never going there. I'm never going to be around a bunch of other people who are working out and me flailing around working out. It's pretty much my worst nightmare. So why do I keep expecting

myself to be able to do that just because other people do? And then feeling like a failure when I can't. That's not me. That's not my jam. I'll never be that. I'll never be a person who organizes like a cricket. I'll never be somebody who can use some really complicated organizing system where everything's, you know, detailed and set up. I can never use my husband's filing system. Am I going to, if I tried, I would feel stupid and I would feel like a disaster and I would fail. And so knowing yourself, knowing all the little areas of your life, the things you're good at, the things you struggle with, can help you overcome those things in your life that you want to change, whatever it is, whether it's becoming clutter-free or whether it's, you know, making it to the

gym or getting up or whatever it is in your life that you feel you want to work on, your finances. Step one. Step one is really, really knowing yourself. So I would recommend making a list, which is going to sort of, I guess, segue in to the second part of yourself. It doesn't really matter what you are, whether you're a morning person or an evening person. If you're a visual person who likes abundance or if you're a minimalist person that likes simplicity, schedules work for everyone. Everyone. But your schedule has to be tailored to you. And what I mean by a schedule, I mean, I'm not suggesting you write down like everything you're going to do at certain times every day. That's more of a cricket. That's a cricket style. What I mean by a schedule is, you know,

putting in your calendar maybe that today is the day you're going to work out or you know tomorrow you're going to and then write down one thing you want to accomplish basically a to do list is is what i'm what i'm talking about i guess when i talk about a schedule and this works for absolutely everyone but make sure that you're tailoring it for you and your unique self or your unique family so step one is knowing yourself. So today, I want you to take that love language test. I want you to take my test. The what clutterbug are you test? Again, just Google this. Google love languages. Google, you know, what clutterbug are you? Think about, are you a morning or a night hour? Are you a person who loves to be around people and gets inspired by being around people? Or do you do your

best work alone in your pajamas in your house? You know, really think, are you a really sentimental person. Are you really, you know, attached to belongings because you feel a personal connection to them? Or are you someone who really doesn't have that sort of issue when it comes to your stuff? Know yourself. Really know yourself. And I think you're going to be surprised. I retook the love languages test today, actually, before I did this podcast. And I did it, I mean, 10 years ago, maybe 12 years ago, and I was like 100% buy me crap. I mean, I was like, buy me gifts. Now when I retook this, I was almost all acts of service. So would I rather my husband buy me some diamond earrings or do the dishes? Totally 100% I want him to do the dishes.

He could buy me things. I still like that. It was still higher than anything else. But what was crashing it was acts of service. So my love language has changed. and things about yourself probably even though I you know you think one way I thought it was a really outgoing person I feel like an outgoing person if you talk to me I'm blah blah blah an outgoing person but the truth is I do my best and I am my best when I'm alone and so I get anxiety about being around a lot of people so it's deceiving you can totally trick yourself and find out things about yourself that you had no idea. So there are a ton of different tests that you can take online. And I really suggest that you do those and you find it a little bit more about yourself.

You make a list of all the things that you are and that you're great at and that you're not so great at. And then once you have a better understanding of you, look at the areas in your life that you're struggling and say, you know what? I'm probably drowning in clutter because I'm a visual person that likes to see my stuff and none of the organizing solutions that I've tried in the past have worked for that style. So of course they, you know, I'm still living in clutter. It's not that I'm a messy person. It's not that I'm a disorganized person. It's that I haven't been using the organizing systems that I have to use for me in my unique self. So that's what I wanted to talk about today I was hoping to inspire you guys to uh yeah know yourself do that today give that as a

Christmas gift to yourself and Merry Christmas you guys and happy holidays there's only a couple of days left I hope you have a really relaxing loving and amazing holidays thank you guys so much and I'll see you next time