Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - How to Train Your Brain to Like Cleaning | Clutterbug Podcast # 224

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

Do you feel like cleaning is a never-ending chore? Like you have to get everything spotless before you can even think about having fun? In today’s podcast, I'm flipping that mindset! I’ll share tips and tricks to help you actually enjoy cleaning and make it a breeze. Let’s take action together and transform how we think about tidying up, so we can have effortlessly clean and happy home!       You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever thought, why can't I just do the thing that I want to do? Or why can't I get my life together? Or if specifically you struggle with cleaning your house and wanting to clean your house, we're going to talk about the real reason why you feel like you're failing right now. Hey, clutterbugs, welcome back to the clutterbug podcast. I'm talking about something fun today. I'm excited for this. I'm actually going to make another video on my other clutterbug channel about this.

so forgive me if you're going to hear this twice, but I feel like this message is so important. I want to just shout it from the rooftops. While you're listening to this podcast, though, I really want to encourage you to do something that is going to make tomorrow's use life easier. So do something right now that takes a burden off of yourself tomorrow, whether that's putting away a load of laundry or doing dishes or decluttering or. We're cleaning. Whatever it is that you could do right now in the next few minutes with me, it's going to be a short one today. We're just going to burst, get something done so that not only

are you proud of yourself, not only have you, you know, check things off your list and got that dopamine rush from like, do-to-do I'm amazing. But tomorrow, life's going to be easier. And that's what it's all about. Every time we take action to remove a burst of, from tomorrow us. Every day our life continues to get a little easier. And that builds. It compounds. And then one day we wake up and things feel really effortless. And that's the goal here. So let's jump in to why you really hate cleaning. We're not only just going to talk about cleaning, but I'm framing this whole conversation around cleaning because it's clutterbug. And that's what we talk about here on the clutterbug podcast. But please know that,

what we're talking about applies to every area of our lives. And I can think of a thousand examples where I'm doing this. So let's just jump in. Basically, we have two brains. We don't really have two brains, but we have two parts of our brains that control us. We have our subconscious mind and our conscious mind. And you've heard of this a lot. Everybody kind of knows this. We have the conscious brain. Our conscious brain is pretty awesome. Our conscious brain is a smarty pants. It's really analytical. It's the one that thinks things through and thinks about consequences and rationally analyzes information to decide what's true, what's not true. It's basically our filter. And it is this complicated, complex part of our brain.

that's basically called the frontal lobe. And it doesn't really form until or start forming until our teenage years. And for a lot of people, it isn't fully formed into our mid-20s, which makes so much sense when you think about it, right? Teenagers are dumb. Children, you can tell them that a man in a fat red suit comes down the chimney and they will believe it. And that's, because this conscious mind, this this frontal lobe of our brain is where all of that rationality, reasoning, analytical part comes from. And that is our conscious brain. Smart, right? Then we have the other side of our brain, which is like our subconscious mind. And that's basically a terrified toddler, really. It is, it is a dumb baby, our subconscious brain. And our

subconscious brain, from birth, we've got this thing. And everything it is told as children, it just believes as truth. Because we don't really have the ability to think for ourselves as children. We don't. We are told dumb things by our parents. We see dumb things going on in the world. We mimic people doing dumb things. And we believe these things to be true. These not only things that we're told or we observe, they not only become our truth, but they become core beliefs without us even realizing

it. Because we haven't had the time, we haven't had the brain ability to yet tell. the difference between like, is this a really stupid idea? Does this logically make sense? Is this a positive or negative thing? Is this something we should actually be doing or thinking? We're just, we're told something, we see something and we take it at face value as truth. And so what does this actually look like? Specifically when we talk about cleaning, that's what I want to talk about. So I grew up in a home, and I think a lot of people are like this, where it was very much like cleaning is a chore. And cleaning is something that you have to do and nobody really likes it and it's horrible.

And when you clean, you better do it right. And you better scrub everything from top to bottom. And cleaning comes before fun. And you judge yourself and other people judge you based on what your home looks like. And I really internalized these as core beliefs. And people who didn't clean like this were lazy, they were messy. And that was one of those things that I just fundamentally believed. I also, because I wasn't good at that and details, and I certainly really wasn't good at organization, I was told and believed that I was messy, naturally disorganized, just born on.

a hot mess came out of the womb, a total disaster. These are things that I was not only told, but it was obvious to me. Teachers, I mean, the state of my room was making it pretty obvious. So not only did this become a truth about myself, but it really became like this core subconscious belief about ourselves. So maybe you had a mom that told you you were messy and lazy. maybe someone told you that cleaning was boring or that cleaning was like a really toxic negative thing. Maybe you had parents that would like scream at the other spouse or something in order to clean. And you saw it as really a battle or maybe you were punished when you when you did something bad. You had to clean as punishment. You had to clean your room or you had to clean the

house or you had to do dishes or you had to do yard work. Like, maybe that type of thing was tied to a punishment. So then therefore you see as like, it's only something you do when you're bad or you see it in a really negative light. I'm just throwing this all out there at you because what happens is these thoughts, these little things that we pick up, these observations we make as children, really young, actually form these core truths in us. And we don't even realize that we have them, hence the subconscious part. So no matter how smart and knowledgeable we are today, and we know things and we're capable, and our conscious brain is like, okay, we should clean because it makes life easier and it makes us

happier and we should keep our house tidy because, you know, it genuinely just everything is better and having a cluttered messy house makes everything worse. We know this. We are smart, but unfortunately our stupid baby toddler brain is driving the bus. And that's what everyone is realizing how powerful your subconscious mind actually is. We think that our conscious mind is in control. Our conscious thoughts are the ones we're aware of. So these are the things like running through our head that we catch these thoughts and we have these thoughts and we're like, okay, I'm a smart person. I know what's right from wrong. I know the things I should be doing. So why am I not doing them? And it doesn't, a lot of the time, it really doesn't have very much at all to do with motivation or

self-discipline. It has to do with deep down inside. There is something stopping you from doing it. And those things are those core beliefs that are your roadblocks that you don't even know that you have. And I think these apply. You hear people say like, your thoughts control your life. People say that. And it's so very, very true. And it seems like a very complex, weird thing. And the more I really think about it the more I see the truth in this. But when I first heard people talking about this, I was like, oh, you crazy, you hippie-dippy. That's some woo-woo manifesting stuff. You're crazy pants. But when I really dig deep into my own life, I see this so much. I see my own core beliefs about my intelligence. I see my own core beliefs about health and fitness. I have some really messed up

core beliefs about that. And yeah, I have a real core belief that food, especially junk food, chocolate, candy, those type of things are a reward. There's something that you eat to feel good and because you love yourself. And that healthy food, salads, carrots is something you eat when you're bad and when you are punishing yourself. And this is in great. brain did me and my brain knows the opposite is true. My conscious brain is like, hey, dummy, that doesn't make no sense. But my subconscious brain is driving the bus. And so I'm going to, it takes work. It takes work to change that. But here is the great part. Even though our dumb baby, subconscious brain is in charge and is the one behind the steering wheel, we can give a driving

lessons. We can change it or at least retrain it to be more positive. And it's actually really, really, really, really, really, really difficult to change a core belief completely, to just go in and make whatever you've learned as a child, whatever you've internalized, and completely flip it around and think something different. That's actually very difficult to do. but we can reframe a core belief so we can make it slightly more positive. We can kind of alter it slightly so that it's still at its core the same and yet fundamentally different. Yeah. And it isn't just about cleaning. I want you to think while you're cleaning right now, you're like, oh, I'm treasily cleaning. Are the thoughts coming into your mind and catch them

and what are they? Because it's very possible that you aren't really aware of the thoughts that you're having. It's most likely you're not aware of the thoughts that you're having. And there's two things that we need to do to rewire our mind and to reframe our mind and to change everything about our lives. And the first thing is have awareness. The second thing is, is repetition and we're going to talk about that in a minute. But there's two things we need to do and the first thing is awareness and that is catching your thought. So what are you thinking about when you are dreading or not wanting? What is the thought that's coming into your head? Is it that this takes too long? Is it that I have better things to do? Is it that it never stays clean? Is it,

oh, I suck at this and I'm really bad at cleaning? Is it that you're too lazy? I'm too lazy to do this. Oh, I'm too lazy. Is it that it's degrading? This is a big one, especially for women, that it's not fair that I have to do this and this is degrading as a woman. Why is this my job? Does it feel like punishment? Does it feel like you're being disrespected by your family because they're not helping? What are these thoughts? It could be all of these thoughts. But the awareness, of what your dumb baby brain subconscious mind is telling you that's making this a miserable experience is crucial it really is i worked hard to retrain my brain when it comes to cleaning now i swear to you i genuinely enjoy it that's the difference how did i go from hating and dreading

something and thinking it was like i was going to be like my mother and it was going to be in your and only, you know, only horrible people. Like, I really told myself all these narratives about the act of cleaning. And now I'm like, oh, it's kind of my me time. And I put on my headphones. I'm like, oh, cleaning's so relaxing. This is such a gift to myself. I swear to you, these are the thoughts I now have about cleaning my home, which means I want to do it.

And I like it do it. and I'm doing it longer. It's freaking crazy. It's the exact same activity. Nothing changed except the way I think about it. And we have the power to change the way we think about anything and everything, whether it's money, whether it's relationships, all the things in your life that you're like, I just am struggling with this.

It's your dumb baby brain. That's the root of all the problems. It truly is. That is the root of the problems. whether your dumb baby brain's telling you that you're unlovable, whether your dumb baby brain is telling you that you're terrible with money, whether your dumb baby brain is telling you that the person you are isn't good enough and you have to change for people to like you. Whether your dumb baby brain is telling you that you're overweight, you'll always be overweight, you have a terrible metabolism,

you can never lose weight. I don't know what your dumb baby brain is telling you. But I promise you, it's probably stuff that you don't want it to be saying. And that is 100% stopping you from achieving your goals and getting the things you really want out of life. You ever talk to single people who are like older and single? And hear what they say. they're like, oh, I can never find anybody. Everybody I date is terrible and everybody, nobody wants to be with me. And I don't know why I'm just unlucky in love. And then it's kind of like it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy. And I learned this going to therapy years ago because I really had this

negative look at my husband. And I've talked about this in the podcast a lot. But when it came to house cleaning, I'm going to tell you the truth. He does not help out around the house very often. I do a lot more when it comes to cleaning than he did. But I would say he does nothing. He never helps me. I do everything. It's not fair. And I went to the therapist and I was telling her these things. Like he never does anything to help me. I feel used. I feel disrespected. And I was very resentful of my husband. And what she said was, the exercise I want you to do, I thought she'd be like, yeah, he's the worst. You should divorce him. No, no. The exercise she had me to do was every day to find three ways and write them down of ways he does help and that he does make my life easier.

And at first I was like, oh, this is the worst. I'm like, I guess he drove the kids to school. Oh, fine. He made my son's lunch. Oh, he took out the garbage. Then the next day was like, oh, he cut the grass. Oh, he did. And then it was one week of doing this consistently. I was so appreciative of him. I started really changing the way I thought about him. And instead of noticing all the bad things because I was trying to notice the good things, that's all I did was notice the good things. Your thoughts change everything. He didn't change at all. I didn't change at all. I didn't change. at all. I just reframed my brain. I consciously became aware of the thoughts I was having, and then I repeatedly changed them and reframed them to something more positive.

So we're talking about cleaning because it's clutterbug or it's a clodderbug podcast, but this is everything in your life you can do this for. But I'm going to show you and we're going to talk about specifically some reframes that you can do about decluttering, organizing, and cleaning that will transform your home. Before I get into some easy reframing exercise that you can do, I have to thank today's podcast sponsor Factor. The warmer days are calling. It's time to kind of make life easier in the kitchen, which means no prep, no messy meals, getting healthy, nutritious, incredible meals that are chef-crafted delivered to your door. And that's what factor is. I want you to think of it like, I don't know, TV dinners on steroids because these are never frozen,

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second part comes in. So we talked about how to change your mind. It's two things. The first is awareness, which I personally think is the hardest part, being aware of your actual thoughts, right? Catching them, writing them down. Every time you're going to do something or you have to do something or you wanted you something and there's like there's a roadblock there that's that friction write down what that thought is that's the awareness key that's so so critical that's where you're like you don't even know that the dumb baby's driving the bus it's time to you know write down all the dumb things that baby's saying because your conscious brain is brilliant we're not talking about that we're talking about those underlying subconscious thoughts catching them and having awareness

So the second part of changing your brain comes into repetition. That's it. Over and over again. Saying the opposite or reframing those over and over and over again until they become true. And that is 100% what I did when it came to cleaning the house. 100%. I practiced. I faked it till I made it.

I said the same things over and over again. I've said them to you. over and over again. I've said them so many times. I actually believe them now. Not only do I believe them on a conscious level, which I always did, but I believe them on a subconscious level. They are now a core belief of mine. A core belief of mine is that I deserve a clean house. It is a gift to myself. It doesn't take long to tidy up. If I do it every day, it's 10 minutes to a clean house. It's effortless. It feels like nothing. It's no big deal at all. I truly believe this with all of my being, and that is the opposite of how I felt about it before. And yet, nothing changed. Okay, so let's

straight up, I hate cleaning. That is a core belief I've had my entire life. I hate cleaning. I changed that to I love having a clean house. I didn't have to say I love cleaning, which would be a complete lie, you know, at the time. Now it's truth. But at the time, like, that's a complete change. We don't need to completely change our core beliefs. We just need to reframe them into a positive thing. So if you're saying I hate cleaning, we can now repeat, I love having a clean house.

Doesn't mean you have to have a clean house right now. Doesn't mean you have to ever, you know, get to the point where it's 100%. I love having a clean house. That's what you tell yourself. That's the reframe there. Another core belief that I had and carried with me was that my family never helped me. And I had to pick up after my family. And I can't lie to myself and be like, my family helps all the time.

I never have to pick up after my family. That's not what reframing is. It's, I clean the house because it's important to me and it's a gift to myself. So I stop focusing on other people in the home and focus on myself and that it's a gift to myself. And it doesn't change my other core belief, but it reframes it into something positive and makes me actually want to do it. You see where we're going here with these? Okay, decluttering good things is wasteful. This is a big one that a lot of people have, that it's wrong and it feels wasteful to donate or throw out things, items.

So a reframe from that is it's really wasteful, wasteful of space to store things I never use, and it's wasting the item because it's just collecting dust, where if I, I donated it, someone else would get use out of it. It's really wasteful to hoard things and never use them. Different. It's a reframe. And again, repeating these things over and over and over again is the secret. It's that repetition. So you've written down your thoughts that you have and then we are writing down the reframes and now we are putting them somewhere and we are repeating them. Okay, so I'm a messy person. That was definitely a core belief that I had for a very long time and probably one that I'm still kind of struggling with today. But my reframe for that is because let's be honest, I'm naturally messy. I am. That's it. There, I said it. I am the type of person who just doesn't think when I'm done with something and will put it down. I'm so much better. And I 99% of the time, put it down. Put it away, I mean, instead of putting it down. But yeah, still, this is a core belief.

This is a tough one for me. But my reframe for this is I have a habit of being messy, but I'm creating habits of being tidy every day. I'm working on creating tidy habits. Reframe. It isn't actually changing that fundamental core belief. It's just reframing it to something positive. And repeating the positive one and trying to not say the negative one is absolutely critical and crucial, right? Awareness, step one, repetition, step two. So here's another one. Cleaning this house will take hours. It would take days to get this house clean.

Ooh, that's a really common core belief that cleaning takes forever. So we reframe that. We don't have to lie and we say, but we only have to do it for five minutes or we only have to do it for 10 minutes or we only have to do it for 15 minutes. It doesn't have to be done. Big reframe. Big huge reframe. Set that timer. Get yourself a timer, a little cute egg timer or whatever it is. And like that's your thing. You don't have to clean until it's done. You only have to clean for whatever set amount of time that you have given yourself to dedicate to cleaning. Huge, huge, huge reframe because instead of doing nothing, you're doing something. And all those little somethings will add up to it getting done 100% eventually. It really will. That is the secret. But we have to reframe our thoughts or we'll never get started.

Because that dump baby core belief is stopping us from ever taking the first step. It's our roadblock and it's time to. it's time to break it down. I wanted this to be a quick, short, and sweet podcast for you today. And hopefully while you're listening, you've gotten things done. But this is an exercise that will change everything. And truth, any time in your life at all that you've ever thought, why can't I just X, Y, Z?

It's your dumb baby brain. That's the reason. It's your thoughts. It's your limiting beliefs. You've probably heard a lot of coaches call it this. Your limiting beliefs. And the truth is, people say it because it's a fact. It's a fact.

And you don't have to be a woo-woo, hippie-dippy, meditating, crystal-rubbing, essential oil, huffing person to believe it. it's scientific it's scientific fact that's how our brains work you can retrain it you can reframe it you can rewire your brain with awareness and repetition so grab a piece of paper think about the things that you want to do that you're just like i i should be doing this in my life but for some reason i'm not and we start writing down what we think are those subconscious reasons that that's it. That's step one. And that's what I'm challenging you to do this week. Thank you guys so much for listening and spending time with me and I'll see you guys next time.