Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Living with ADHD or a Motivation Disorder and How to Overcome and Find Success! | Clutterbug Podcast # 132

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

Do you have ADHD or struggle with lack of motivation? In today's podcast, I talk about how to turn your ADHD or motivation disorder into a positive!        You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Living with ADHD or even if you don't have ADHD being chronically unmotivated can be really tough. And in today's podcast, we're going to share top tips for turning struggles into superpowers. Hey, clutterbugs and welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 40 years old and it explains like so much about my life. my entire life, I've been really impulsive, very hyperactive, forgetful, easily distracted, pretty much all the textbook symptoms of ADHD, but I always just assumed I was lazy and I was undisciplined. I really struggled in school. I struggled to pay attention. I struggled to get good grades. I struggled to not distract all of my classmates around myself. And I think

the biggest thing I struggled with was self-esteem, always thinking that there was something really wrong. And because of all these issues I had related to my ADHD, I was very unmotivated in life, very messy, very disorganized, and I struggled with just day-to-day living executive function. I didn't know it was even called that back then, but even if you don't have ADHD, sometimes when you're feeling very overwhelmed, when you're busy, when your life is chaotic, it can really mimic these ADHD symptoms. A lot of experts actually refer to ADHD as motivation disorder. And that's because the part of the brain that controls executive function is smaller

and it's less developed in people who have ADHD. And that's the part of the brain that controls things like your impulse control, working memory, delaying gratification, all of your planning and time management, but this is also the part of the brain that can be affected when we're under a lot of stress, when we're feeling overwhelmed and exhausted when we're sleep deprived. And these are the things that we pretty much need to be like a successful adult, right? We need all of these parts of our brain to be working. People with ADHD also have lower levels of dopamine receptors, which means we get less satisfaction and happiness when we do actually achieve a goal.

We just don't feel the same joy and sense of accomplishment. And again, this is a feeling that can be mimicked when you're chronically stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. So whether you have ADHD or you're just under a lot of stress and you're feeling overwhelmed, it's very hard to get motivated when you can't visualize long-term results. when you don't have the ability to plan out the steps in the future, when you can't stay focused, and when you can't feel excited about actually achieving the goal in the first place. And I can only speak from my own personal experience with ADHD,

but I've learned ways to compensate for all of these deficiencies in my brain. So I can still be like a successfulish adult. I'm far from perfect. I am definitely not perfect. but I'm in a place where I'm really actually happy that I have ADHD. And I really see all of these deficiencies now as a positive because I've found ways to compensate for those deficiencies. So in this podcast, we're going to talk about struggling with ADHD,

but we're also going to talk about the good, the bad, and the awesome parts. And by awesome, I mean taking the things that seem like they're a bad thing and turning them into your superpower. The first thing I want to talk about is impulse control. And I think being impulsive is my biggest struggle with ADHD. I've been impulsive my entire life. As a teenager, it was not so good. You're putting in all of the hormones and emotions and craziness. And I did a lot of really stupid things. But even now, at 43 years old, I am ridiculously impulsive. It's why I tend to overeat or eat the wrong foods. I spend money that I shouldn't.

I buy the wrong stuff even when I am out. And I make rash and dumb decisions all the time. The part of my brain that says delay this gratification and you'll be happier in the long run or you're going to regret this later. That part is completely broken. So I see something. I want something. I do the thing. I very rarely, if ever, stop and think about my actions.

I don't think before I speak. It just blabs out of my mouth. I don't. This isn't a conscious thing. This is a subconscious, impulsive thing. If I am in a casino, I'm going to gamble. If I see something on sale, I'm going to buy it. I fall for all the pop-up ads on Facebook.

I buy all the dumb things on TikTok. I'm just a very impulsive person. And so what I have to do, because I know this about myself and know that this is a part of having ADHD, is I need to make the good choices easier and the bad choices harder. It's not that I'm lazy, but because I'm so impulsive, but I also have lack of focus, if I'm not putting myself in a situation where making those bad choices is like a snap decision, if I have to go out and actively seek these bad choices, I'm probably not going to. going to do it. So here's, here's an example. I disconnected all of my credit cards from my online

shopping accounts, especially my Amazon account. So if I'm laying in bed at night, what I noticed was I would be bored after dinner. I'd be watching a movie and I would log into Amazon and I would just randomly buy something, whatever popped into my head. But now that my credit card is no longer connected to the account, I'd have to get up, go to get my wallet and physically type in the number. and just that small act, just that small bit, means I'm way less likely to actually do that. Getting my card, that alone, makes me reconsider and buy a lot less. I also went ahead and printed a sticker just on my computer that asks me, do you really need this?

Where are you going to put this? Think twice before you buy. It's on my credit card and my debit card. And again, that kind of makes me stop and think before I make a, impulsive decision because my brain does not have that ability. I've also been preparing and buying healthy snacks and putting them at the top of the fridge. So it's like eye level. I bought, Joe bought me chocolate hummus and I cut up a bunch of strawberries and I have pretzels and these little pre-portioned baggies. So when I need a quick snack at night, when I usually go and just

out of laziness, out of wanting something really fast, I would grab a granola bar or a handful of cookies or a bowl of chips. I now the first thing I see and the easiest thing to grab are healthy snacks. It's a little bit of work ahead of time, but I swear to you this is working because I put all my junk foodie type snacks in the hall pantry in a basket where I don't see them. So it's out of sight, it's out of mind. And if I do want to get to it, I have to hunt and look for it. And again, that alone, adding that one extra step means I'm way more likely and I am doing this. And I am doing this, I'm choosing those healthier snacks. But the biggest thing that helps me with my impulse control is elimination. So think about the things that you impulsively do. One example for me,

now this is extreme, but I don't drink alcohol. I cannot control myself. If I have a glass of wine, I'm like, party over here, and I'm drinking the whole bottle. So I just don't drink alcohol at all. I also do not go to grocery stores that sell things other than food. I cannot. I I know myself. If I go to Walmart or if I go to Costco just to buy groceries, I tell myself I'm going to go because it's cheaper and I'll save money, but I'm buying the scented candles and I'm buying a 10 pack of lighters and random clothing or a toy for Milo. I cannot help myself. And I know this about myself, so I avoid those places. And if I need something from those places, I will order it or I'll order it online or I'll do like same day pickup. Or I'll,

I'll order it and I'll go and they'll bring it to my car because I cannot trust myself to go into those stores. And I know this sounds awful. This is like, oh, what's wrong with you, Cass? But this is what works and this is what could work for you too. It's simple ways that you just change a small thing about your day to day knowing that you're impulsive that can drastically improve your health, it can improve your finances, and it can improve your happiness. Doing with the illimilar thing, I also no longer eat sugar after dinner. So like no sugar allowed after 7 p.m. Self control is not my thing. Okay. I have none. And you probably have very little self-control if you have ADHD or if you're exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed. Because again, that mimics that deficiency in

your executive function part of your brain. All of those are sort of affected when you feel this way. so you probably have less self-control too which means you need to have hard rules and strategies to keep you from making the same mistakes over and over and over and over again so no sugar after 7 p.m. I have a star chart on the side of my fridge. I avoid stores that I know I impulsively buy things and I avoid unhealthy situations like going to a casino or going to a bar or having a drink because I know that these are things that I will impulsively do and regret later. Now for the good part, okay? So here's the good part about being impulsive.

Being impulsive also means you're spontaneous. I find that I'm really creative and I think outside the box because I'm just like, my brain's like firing a million miles a second and I always say yes to every opportunity that comes. I don't think about it. I don't overthink. I don't overanalyze. It's always like a yes. So I'm not afraid to put myself out there and take risks, which has helped me create a business doing something that I really love. And it's opened up so many incredible opportunities in my life because my first gut reaction to everything is always,

yes, let's do this, let's try it, let's figure it out. And that is because I have zero impulse control. So that's the superpower part of that. Now let's talk about distractibility. I guess this is like otherwise known as squirrel syndrome. So I get bored really easily, especially if it's something that I don't want to do at all or something that's like, you know, kind of sucks. I just have trouble focusing, which means obviously I didn't do well in traditional school at all. And I honestly assumed I was really, really stupid. Like I must be so stupid. Why am I getting such bad grades?

Why can't I pay attention in school? Why am I not learning like other kids are learning? And this is really because people who have ADHD get distracted really easily because our brains need excessive stimulation. I actually find this part really fascinating because I've seen some recent studies that have suggested perhaps there is an evolutionary component to this part of ADHD and that when you are easily distractible and your brain's kind of like firing on all cylinders and you need a lot of stimulation, you're a better hunter. You're a better gatherer. You're like better at fighting off predators. So I mean, I don't know if this pertains to today because we're certainly not doing this today fighting anyone.

And we do definitely live in a society where being able to sit and pay attention in a lot of situations is critical. But that doesn't mean that this is all negative. So we're going to talk about the positive in a second. But let's talk about this need for stimulation. So if we aren't excited about something or interested in something, there is no way we can pay attention for more than a few minutes. Well, for me anyways, for my personal experience. And I think again, if you're stressed, if you're overwhelmed, even if you don't have ADHD,

you probably find that your mind is racing and you just find it more difficult to sit and be still and be just, with the quiet with yourself. So this is obviously, you know, a huge issue. Fortunately, there is medication that can help. So I started taking ADHD medication when I was first diagnosed three years ago and it was insane the difference. Because ADHD medication is a stimulant, it stimulates the brain. So I found myself that I was stopping looking for stimulation other places if that makes sense because my brain was being stimulated by a chemical I was no longer getting distracted while doing something boring I could sit and focus on the boring thing much much much longer caffeine also has similar effects but you don't need drugs you don't need ADHD medication

or buckets of caffeine buckets of coffee to get the same effect you can stimulate your brain by moving your body, which is why a lot of people like jiggle their foot or tap their toes or use fidget tools, sit on a rubber ball, you know, one of those big yoga balls instead of a traditional chair or doodling. And another really great technique is called body doubling. So this is a strategy that's really helpful for distraction and it basically is just having someone else in the room while you do something boring like studying. So they don't have to be helping you. They don't have to be helping you. don't even have to be talking to you. If they're just in the room with you quietly reading or working on something on their own, you are way more likely to stay focused. So let's talk about the

good though, because this all sounds pretty bad, right? You can't do anything boring. You can't say still. You can't focus on anything. You're distracted constantly. You're starting tasks and never finishing them. Sounds like an absolute nightmare. But this need for stimulation isn't all bad because the flip side is ADHDers can hyper focus on things they find stimulating. This is 100% hands down my favorite part of having ADHD. It means if I find something really interesting, if I find something that stimulates me, I can focus on it forever, like till the end of time. I can organize a closet for 12 hours straight and never want to stop.

And it's why some kids can't do their homework, but they can play video games for five days straight, right? Like they forget to eat, they forget to drink. They're just like, why can you focus on this, but not this other stuff? It's because they enjoy it. It's because they find it really fascinating. And the thing is, it doesn't have to be video games that stimulate you. When you find something that you are passionate about and you have ADHD, you can unlock your hyper-focusing superpower. And I can do more work on something than the average person, than the average person, the neurotypical brain because when I'm really into something my brain works so fast and is so just incredibly focused on something to the point where I can like write an entire book in a

weekend it's insane it's amazing it's incredible but you have to first find that passion that thing to unlock your hyperfocusing superpower forgetfulness yeah this is a unfortunate side effect of my ADHD and not everyone who has ADHD is forgetful, but a large portion of people are. My memory is really bad. Like it's not 51st dates like brain damage kind of bad, but it's very, very close, which makes everything harder. I mean everything. I still don't have my multiplication table memorized.

Like this is, I've tried to teach it to three of my kids, plus I went to school. I could be reading a book and not know the name of any of the character. or the title of book. I'll be watching a movie that I loved. I'm like, this movie's amazing. And they're like, oh, who are the actors? I don't know their names and I don't know the name of the movie. I don't know names of songs or bands or even restaurants that I love and go to all the time. I have a really hard time remembering anything, if I'm being honest. It's a severe deficiency in my memory. Like I'm embarrassed to admit this, but it's really, really, really bad. So I need electronic. to help fill the gap where my brain is lacking in almost every area of my life. So Google Calendar is

something I use all the time, but I have to make sure not only that I schedule absolutely everything, but I turn on multiple alerts for every meeting, every appointment, even appointments that I make for myself, like I have to pay the bills on Thursday or I have to clean the fridge out on Monday. I need alerts to remind me of all of these things. I also recommend. I also recommend. I also recommend recommend using tools like an Amazon Alexa, you know, like an Echo Dot or assert like the Siri on your phone to set reminders and timers all throughout the day. So anytime I thought comes into my head of something I have to remember or something I have to do in a short amount of time, I immediately say it out loud and have my phone or my Amazon Alexis remind me of that thing,

which I, yeah, it sounds crazy pants. But listen, it completely works. And I also keep a notepad I mean, notepads are so critical for me. So I have one beside my bed. I have one in the kitchen. I have one on my desk. I have multiple ones in my office on my desk. I have one in the car. I have one in the car with a pen.

Because any time a thought comes into my head and I'm like, oh, I got to remember this. I can also write it down immediately. In writing it down allows me then to go through these notebooks and write a daily, like, to do list and a monthly goal. list, which keeps me on track because I often forget the things I want to remember. I forget my goals. I forget the things I have to do. And I'll think of it in like a spur of a moment impulsive way. I'm like, oh, I should do this. Oh, what a great idea. I should do that. Write it down. Absolutely critical. This is key not only to running my business, but running my life. But here's the superpower part

of having a ridiculously crappy memory. Okay, there is a good part. There's a good part of this too. I forget to be mad or sad or embarrassed. I don't dwell on things really very long because I literally forget about them. I could have a video that I put out that does awful. And by the next week I'm on to the next video and I completely forget about the next one. I could do something horribly embarrassing.

Like my pants rip out the crotch in public and I'm not wearing underwear and I'm like, oh my God. It's mortifying, mortifying. And literally 10 minutes later, I'm on to the next thing and I've completely forgot about this embarrassing or mortifying or horrible thing. These emotions don't linger with me because I forget to be sad, mad, or embarrassed or any of those things. If I've had a horrible day, Joe knows he just has to run and get me a Starbucks and I'm instantly over it.

I'm like, woo, on to the next thing, which can be very, very cool. This is probably the best part of having a 10. terrible memory. Whether you have ADHD or not, procrastination can be an issue for everyone. Let's be honest. I think everybody procrastinates. But if you do have ADHD or if you are really having a motivation disorder because you're very overwhelmed or very stressed out in your life, you probably procrastinate like it's your life's mission. And a big part of procrastination is that we just don't want to do the boring thing when you have ADHD because you're like, oh, that's going to be a snooze fest.

But even when I want to do something, I suffer from something called time distortion or time blindness, which is something a lot of people who have ADHD have. Time distortion was probably the major reason why my home was so messy for so long, why I was living with clutter, because not only do I tend to drastically overestimate the amount of time that something's going to take to clean, but my brain doesn't it doesn't see very far into the future so if i can't visualize the ending of a goal i don't know how to start at the beginning if that makes sense so if something's going to take weeks for me to accomplish i have no ability zero ability to be able to plan the steps to do that

or see that finalized thing in the future my ability to see into the future is extremely extremely short, which means planning and time management are really, really hard for me. If I have to be somewhere in an hour, I have a very difficult time knowing how much time then I have to get ready and adding the drive time to that and being able to calculate what time I should leave the home or what time I should start getting ready. But it's even more than that. I have a really hard time. If something's going to take six hours, I have zero brain ability to. map that backwards. My time, future visualization is about a half an hour max. 20 minutes, 15 to 20 minutes is like that magic thing where I can really easily plan and see steps if it's only going to

take me a half an hour or less. But anything more than that, and I just don't know where to start. I can't see the steps so I don't take the first one. I've learned that the only way I can get started and fight off procrastination is if I break every goal into a tiny, tiny goal that I can accomplish in 15 to 20 minutes at a time and have a finite end to that thing. I cannot clean my entire messy kitchen, but I can do the dishes. I cannot tackle all the things that I see on the counter, but I can clear off the island. I can't organize my whole kitchen in one time, but I can do the junk drawer.

Does this make sense? I have to have all my projects be very tiny things. Even if I'm having like a ton of dishes and I'm like I can do the plates and glasses. And then I'll worry about the pots and pans after. I need to see the end goal. I need to visualize and have it like this is what the completion of this goal looks like and have it be something that I can get to in a short amount of time before I can get started. And because I really suck at estimating how long these things are going to take,

like, how do you know it's going to take 15 minutes cast? I didn't know. I didn't know at all. So I started timing myself years ago. I now know that unloading the dishwasher takes about three minutes. I know that it takes five minutes to put away a load of laundry on average because I time myself all the time with the Alexa. I know it takes two minutes to make my bed. It's under 10 minutes to tidy my kitchen at night. This knowledge, this timing knowledge, is so insanely helpful because it means

I can plan these smaller tasks that I tend to procrastinate. And you can do this too. This is really simple. You literally are like Alexa set a timer or a series set a timer on your phone and then do a small task and see how long it takes you. A small task that you would normally do on a regular basis, like cleaning the bathroom. What about if you're just, you know, picking up the dirty clothes off the floor? How long does that take you? How long does it take you to scrub the shower? How long does it take you to clear off and wipe out, you know, the counter and the sink? How long does it take you to clean the mirror? Know these things. Time yourself. Because then you can get your time distortion under control. You don't even have to write these down, but you can if you want doing this timing

thing. This is one day of your life. You can just go around and time yourself doing all the things that you wish you would do. And then going forward, your time distortion is under control and you have an idea. And you can even say, okay, I haven't timed myself doing this task, but it's similar to that task. And I know it takes 10 minutes to do that task. So it's probably going to take 10 minutes to do this task. And this may seem like overcomplicated and over convoluting things, but if you have ADHD or if you have a motivation disorder where you really struggle with procrastination, this is a step that you have to take to overcome this. We have to do the work and this is it. But here's the other part of time distortion and procrastination, this like whole thing that is kind of a superpower. I can trick

myself into starting a task by telling myself I only have to do it for five minutes. I know the kitchen is a disaster, but what if you just unload and load the dishwasher? Right, Cass? That's all you got to do. And oftentimes when I start something with the intention of only doing it for five minutes before I know it, it's been 45 minutes and I don't even realize it because again, I have this time distortion and I don't know how long I'm spending on doing something. So I only have to get myself started. That's it. That's all I have to do. And my crazy time brain will take care of the rest. Tiny goals, five minute tasks are the secret to overcoming procrastination and lack of motivation. So thank you guys so much for tuning in.

I know this was a long one and I know I was talking specifically about ADHD, but I really think that these strategies and looking at our deficiencies, even if you're just stressed or overwhelmed, and you feel like you have a motivation disorder because you're so stressed and overwhelmed, these strategies can really help you find success too and shift your mindset and start looking at things in a more positive way and turning these deficiencies into your superpower. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you next time.