Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - My Stay-At-Home Mom Chores | Clutterbug Podcast # 3

Episode Date: April 2, 2016

Sometimes being a SAHM mom can be tough.  We face judgement, not only from the outside world, but sometimes from our on spouse. I feel like my husband Joe can often be blinded to all that I do.  You can take a look at a copy of my household chores as well as my weekly chore lists at: www.clutterbug.me Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So hi guys, welcome back to the third podcast, the third clutterbug podcast. Today I wanted to talk a little bit about being a stay-at-home mom and the chores and sort of duties that go along with that, but also the problems and issues that come up with being a stay-at-home mom. And the last few podcasts were about kids and obviously being a stay-out mom has a lot to do with kids, but I sort of want to take those little ones out of the equation. at this point and talk a little bit about my duties, I guess, as a stay-at-home mom, outside of just watching and playing with and teaching and entertaining the kids. So I get asked all the time about how chores are sort of divided up between me and my husband and how our family dynamics sort of works in that regards. And so I wanted to talk a little bit about that because it is a sore spot for a lot of families. and I'm not going to lie, this is an issue a lot of the times in our family as well.

You know, we don't fight a lot. My husband and I am very lucky, but I get annoyed at him, specifically probably about, you know, chores and housework and the division of it. So as a stay-at-home mom, I sort of take on all of the household responsibilities when it comes to cleaning, grocery shopping, making dinners. doing all of that, I guess, household duties has always been my responsibility. Looking back, I totally should not have taken this all on. And the reason is the entire time that I have been a stay-at-home mom, I've also worked from home. So I'm not just a stay-at-home mom, I'm also a work-at-home mom.

We just couldn't afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom. So at the time, when I first decided I want to stay-home, I ran a home daycare. So I worked probably 50 to 60 hours a week from home watching up to nine children in my home. And still at that time, you know, when you're young and ridiculous, you think you could do it all. I still took on all the household responsibilities because I was home. So then as I decided to, you know, start blogging as a career after years of blogging, just as a hobby, I decided, you know, to try to do this for. living, I stopped doing the home daycare and continued working anywhere from 20, probably to 30 hours a

week from home here on my blog. So I'm working, you know, the equivalent, I guess, to two part-time jobs, still doing all of that work. But sometimes, I think as a stay-at-home parent or even a working parent who does the majority of the housework, it can go unrecognized. And all of the little things we do, you know, we mop every day for 10 minutes, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but if you do that every day, that's an hour a week, just mopping. So what I went ahead and did wise wrote everything down. I'm not talking about this stuff I actually do with the kids, which is hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of work, but just the basic household responsibilities that my husband doesn't have to do because I am taking those on as a stay-at-home parent and totaled up those hours and I really made them pretty basic too.

I mean, I probably spend more time than this doing these things, but I really wanted to make it realistic for him to really, you know, see hard numbers and it came to 21 hours per week. That's just grocery shopping, making dinner, cleaning the kitchen, doing the laundry, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms, mopping, tidying up, packing lunches, and just I put miscellaneous home projects because I'm always, you know, organizing something or doing some other little projects. So I have this all typed up and I'm going to actually, it's a JPEG, it's a PDF, and it's going to go ahead with this podcast on my website. So if you wanted to take a look at that and maybe show your own husband or spouse or partner,

you can go ahead to do that. I just, I feel like sometimes, you know, all those little hours, the little time that we spend here and there can be overlooked. Even by ourselves, I mean, honestly, I was pretty surprised to find that the equivalent of a part-time job, you know, 20 hours a week spent just on light, very light cleaning. But it definitely all adds up. And that's, that's, I guess, this, I don't know, sort of how people judge a stay-at-home mom sometimes. how easy it is and how we're so spoiled but unfortunately you know a lot of us stay-at-home moms are also doing other things that other other people just don't know about and I know of working parents out there who do the majority of all of these things on top of their full-time jobs so they're working

you know an entire full-time job plus a part-time job plus still having to be a parent to their children and whatever other commitments that they have. So I guess I just wanted to talk a little bit about my family dynamic. And I get asked a lot, how do you get your husband to help out? And I think my husband, I'm pretty lucky because when it comes to the kids, really we are 50-50 with with the kids once he gets home from work. So he helps put them to bed or he puts them to bed totally. He takes them to their extra quickly activities half the time. We really sharing all the responsibilities when it comes to the kids, definitely 50-50. And I'm not sure it was always like this, but I think instead of nagging and, you know, being irrationally upset with him and giving him, you know, hard numbers,

like we just talked about, writing down all the other things that I do, he was able to see things logically. And I think my husband and maybe your husbands as well or your partners as well, and maybe the type of people who see things really more black and white and aren't aware. I think, you know, I wasn't even aware that just making dinners 20 hours a week added up to four hours a week. You know, 20 minutes a day, I mean, you just make a quick dinner. You wouldn't think it would be four or five hours a week, but it adds up. And if your partner's not having to do those things, they may not be recognizing just the amount of time going into there. So I think, not that I want, I'm suggesting you make a chart like I made a chart, but anyways, I think,

I think sometimes, you know, speaking their language, speaking whatever it is that really resonates with them in a calm way, can help them see your side a little bit more. So I am very lucky. And And the other thing is, do I wish my husband would do more of the house cleaning? Yes and no. And that's the honest truth. I think I would feel sort of bad if he did. Because the truth is, I see that as part of my job. I'm home during the day.

I'm able to do those things while he's at work and while Milo's having a nap or, you know, he's playing independently for a little bit. I can throw in a load of laundry and I can start dinner or I can quickly clean the bathrooms. and if we had to wait until dad came home to do those things, it would really be taking away from family time. And even if we did those things together, we'd be taking away from the children's time that we could spend with them.

So I really look at it that way. I try not to look at it as I'm doing everything so that he doesn't have to. And more looking at it that I'm doing these things while he's gone so we can have just family. time when he's here. So it's a gift to my entire family, not just to him, and myself included, so we can really enjoy each other's time as a family. So anyways, I, like I said, I will put this little thing that I typed up with all the hours I put in just basic, basic cleaning. I mean,

I'm a little bit OCD when it comes to some things. I probably wash the kitchen cabinets once a week and wipe the baseboards once a week. I'm such a weirdo. I didn't put any of the weirdo stuff on there. I just put bare bones basic what everyone has to do to be a human on here. And it still added up to 21 hours per week. So anyways, I just also want to say you working parents out there, you're amazing. And I don't know how anyone could work a full-time job and still have their sanity after having to do all of this type of stuff plus be there, you know, emotionally and physically for your children. I give you so much credit. So anyways, thanks so much for listening. You guys. I really appreciate it. And stay tuned tomorrow for another podcast. We'll see you then.