Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Simple Ways to Reduce Stress | Clutterbug Podcast # 252

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Do you ever feel overwhelmed and wonder how to manage stress better? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a Harvard-trained physician and stress specialist, to uncover the truth about stress—what it is, how it affects your brain and body, and why understanding it is the key to feeling better. Dr. Aditi explains the two types of stress we all experience, how to recognize them, and shares simple yet powerful tips to help you de-stress in your daily life. She also highlights the six essential elements of living an incredible, balanced life. This conversation is packed with insights and practical advice that can truly transform the way you handle stress and improve your overall well-being. You won’t want to miss it! Learn more about Dr. Aditi Nerurkar Here: https://www.draditi.com/ Order Dr. Aditi Nerurkar Book here: https://www.draditi.com/the-five-resets-book Find Dr. Aditi Nerurkar social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/draditinerurkar/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/draditinerurkar/     You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast #stressfree Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Clutterbugs, welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. A big goal for me going forward in 2025 is to make rest a priority. And I don't just mean getting a better night's sleep. I mean prioritizing, taking breaks, not constantly hustling and rushing from one moment to the next, not always focusing on like, what's my next goal and what's on my to-do list, but really prioritizing a more stress-free life. That is my big goal for 2025. So I am thrilled to be talking to today's podcast guest, Dr. Adida Nurokhar. I first saw her on a Mel Robbins podcast and I was blown away because not only is she a doctor, a medical doctor from Harvard, but she specializes in stress because she was so stressed out. And her way of sharing tips and

advice and tricks feels doable. It feels relatable. And she's also bringing that science behind it. So we know that this is going to work. And her new book is called The Five Resets. Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience. And it's bold and new. And she's been featured on Good Morning America and The Today Show and Forbes magazine. And she was voted one of 100 top new women to watch out for. You are going to love this interview. And I hope she inspires you as much as she inspires me. Hello and welcome to the Clutterbud podcast. It is such a pleasure to join you today. I am so excited to be here. I'm excited to have you. I've been looking forward to this since I saw you on my calendar because I'm going to be honest. I am stressed out. Okay. I am stressed

out and you are like a leading expert on stress. And so before we get into all your amazing tips of how you're going to fix me and I'm not going to be stressed out anymore, I would love like how do you become an expert specializing in stress? I would love to hear your story. Oh, what a great question. So my journey, my villain origin story of how I became an expert in stress is because I was a stressed patient looking for answers. And I was a medical resident working 80 hours a week and seeing death and dying on a daily basis. And I was working in the cardiac ICU taking care of everyone else's hearts and not really thinking about my own. And so after a particularly grueling 30-hour call, I was rounding on my patients finishing up

and felt a stampede of wild horses across my chest. Quite literally knocked the wind out of me. I sat down. The nurse I was working with gave me some orange juice and the feeling passed within seconds. Never happened again at work. But that stampede followed me night after night as I would go to bed at night for weeks. And I would wake up with that feeling across my chest. For a long time, I didn't do anything about it. And then after, you know, weeks passed, I went to go see a doctor, finally, even though I was a doctor in my training. And that doctor very well-intentioned, did the full medical workup and said, everything's great. Your heart's great. It's totally normal. Oh, it's probably just stress. Try to relax. We've all been there. It's medical training. So I left her office.

My first reaction was stress. Stress doesn't have to be people like me. I'm resilient. And we can talk about that later. But I came home and so I did what everyone does when people tell you to relax. I watched movies. I went out to dinners. I was a single woman at the time. I had retail therapy. massages, took vacations, nothing really seemed to help. Only when I put on my scientist hat and really dug into the science, because I had access to various research since I was a medical trainee, I read everything I could about the science of the brain and the body, what is stress, how does it influence your brain and your body? And only when I followed some of those strategies in the science did I find my way out of stress. And that is when I vowed to become

the doctor I needed during that difficult time so that I wouldn't say to patients, patients, it's just stress. You know, don't worry about it. Just try to relax. And instead, I could offer people some concrete science-back strategies to actually reverse and reset stress in the brain and the body. So that's my villain origin story, so to speak. I'm so here for all of that because I do hear a lot. It's just like, oh, just try to relax. I'm not sure exactly what that means. But I also am noticing that a lot of people around me are also stressed. I recently went on a girl's weekend trip. And what was really cool, we all stayed in the hotel room. We all pulled out our mouth guards and put our mouth guards in. And we were like, you wear a mouth guard?

And so I was looking it up. This is like teeth grinding and jaw clenching is like on a huge rise because we have so many of us are just feeling so anxious and so stressed. So before we talk about the solutions, I would love to hear from you. Like, is there why it seems like it's more prevalent lately? And also like, yeah, it's like a dramatic kind of rise in the level of stress that we feel as a society. So Cass, this is not your imagination. In fact, the data absolutely supports everything that you're saying. We are seeing a rise. in stress across, not just here in the U.S., but across the world, it's affecting all age groups, some more than others. It's affecting both men and women, though we know that women are more

disproportionately affected by stress, not because there's anything inherently different about us, but simply because of society. And we know that it affects certain populations more than others, but really stress is a universal phenomenon. Data shows that 70% of people are struggling with stress or burnout right now. That's like saying in a room of 30 people, at least 21 people are struggling. So if this sounds like you, the first thing to know is that you are not alone and it is not your fault. And so really understanding that stress is on the rise because your brain and your body are expertly designed to handle short bursts of stress. You know, like when something happens and you have a little bit of stress,

but over the past four or five years, there has been no such thing as short stress. It's just been this long, ongoing stress, one thing after the other with no respite. And so while your brain and body are really good at handling stress in the short term, they both need a little moment to kind of come back to balance, to equilibrium and to baseline. And right now, the way, the way way it's looking is that, like, we'll have an event in the world or something happens in your life. And then you never really come back to baseline because there's just one thing after the other. You know, when you're talking about the brain and the body and the biology of stress, it's, we call it the fight or flight response.

And it's something that is deep within us. It's evolutionarily built into our bodies so that we can either fight a tiger or flee from a tiger. That's where the name comes from when we were all cave people of it. in the forest, you would see a tiger, you're either going to run away or you're going to fight the tiger. And that's your acute stress response. But now the tigers aren't in the forest anymore. They're all around us. So, you know, bills, relationship problems, deadlines, things happening all over the world that we have access to at our fingertips because of more technology.

And so there are so, so many reasons why many of us feel like this and that we're all keyed up. Again, this is a normal reaction to an abnormal environment. Your brain and your body are actually doing exactly what they were designed to do. It's just about the context. So it's about dialing down the volume. And so with your example, it's perfect, bruxism. That's what it's called tooth grinding. It's much more common.

I notice that I also clench my teeth and wake up with some jaw pain during times of stress. And it's because we're trying to chew the emotions and think through what's going on in the day and then you grind at night. So again, very, very common. Yeah, and talking with my friends, it's the same. A lot of people that I talked about stress, it's kind of the same narrative. Like, what's stressing you out? It's very hard to even identify one thing.

It's like, I don't know. I just know I feel it. I feel kind of the tightness in my chest. I feel kind of like I'm breathing a little more rapidly. I'm having trouble falling asleep at night. Something is, but I'm. I can't tell you it's one particular big stressful thing. And this is something that I think is pretty common. We are stressed and might not even realize that we're feeling this. We just

know we're feeling a little off. And for all four of us, teeth grinders, we didn't even realize we just went to the dentist for our checkup. And it was like, oh, no, like you. And it was like, I am? Oh, I guess I'm stressed. Our body was telling us without us really realizing. So let's talk about some ways we can calm the freak down. I don't know. Is that what you just calm the freak down? Because I don't know. Like I don't know what particularly it is that is stressing me out to say I'm going to cut this out. And certainly laying in watching movies, that's all great. But it's not a long-term band-aid fix here. So what can we do? I love the way you framed this conversation and this question.

you know, because right now there isn't just one thing because things are happening all around us all the time in our lives, outside our lives, and it's all influencing your brain and your body. I like to think of it as a tea kettle. You know, when you are feeling a sense of stress, you think about a tea kettle. What we often do is that we try to control the external temperature and that doesn't really seem to work because things are outside of our control a lot of the times, whether it be something at work or you read a headline or something's happening in your children's school or, you know, the list is endless. And instead of dialing the temperature up and down, which you have no

control over and so therefore you think, okay, that's just like the tea kettle. Think of a tea kettle on a boiling stove and the water is boiling. And so instead of turning up the heat up and down, which, by the way, we cannot, what do you want to do to blow off that steam? You want to open up the lever. And so when you think about a tea kettle, you know, the way stress affects your brain and your body is a lot like a tea kettle on a stove with boiling water. And it's futile often to decrease the temperature. Often you can't. So you're like, forget it. This is just how it's going to be. This is just how I'm going to live. Instead, what I like to offer is real science back strategies that are totally free, by the way, because as a doctor, I've seen so many patients with varying

resources and means that not everyone can afford, you know, like an hour-long massage. And then I would love to check out and go to six months, you know, on a Bali surf camp holiday. But like, that's not part of my life or likely yours or anyone else's because we have constraints, like real constraints on our time and attention and obligations. And so everything I offer is cost-free. That's really important. and time efficient because we don't have hours and hours of time to manage our stress. You got to get on with the day. You can't have things that you want to help your stress. It can't cause you more stress because you're not taking care of the other things you have to do.

It's like add it to our to do list. That's right. Now we have to do. And then you're like, wait a second. This is supposed to help my stress, but it's just adding to my stress. And so the approach I like to use is, you know, it's in my book, the five resets. And it's five mindset shifts along with 50s. 15 science-back strategies that can help you in the midst of your messy, over-scheduled life

to transform your relationship to stress. And I will say that before we start talking about the tips and tricks that you can use to rewire your brain and your body, the key here is that there are two kinds of stress cast and they're not equal. So when you and me and we're talking to our friends or colleagues or family and we're like, oh, it's been such a stressful week. Or when your girlfriends got together for a girl's night or girls' weekend, you're like, oh my God, it's been really stressed a month or, you know, the way we started this conversation,

right? You're like, I am so stressed. We all use that word all the time. And what we're talking about is two kinds of stress. So the first stress is unhealthy stress. It's what, when you're using phrases like that or when I'm like, oh my God, it's such a stressful day or a stressful year or five years for many people, that is unhealthy stress. Scientifically, it's called maladaptive stress. It's dysfunctional, unproductive, causes all of those physical and mental health manifestations that we're all very familiar with, including grinding our teeth, but there's so many others. But there is another kind of stress. It's healthy stress.

Scientifically, we call this adaptive stress. It's productive. It moves your life forward. Examples of healthy, productive stress. For you, for example, coordinating and scheduling that girls weekend to out. actually make it happen. And getting together, getting a promotion, a new job, having a baby, buying a new car, meeting a new best friend, or something, you know, rooting for your favorite sports team, or something in your life that has taken effort and time and dedication, but it has

moved your life forward. So there's lots of healthy stress all around us. In fact, it's probably what got you and I up out of bed in the morning. It's what's gotten you and I here today to talk to each other, coordinating our busy schedules. That's healthy stress. The goal of life is not to live a life with zero stress. It's actually biologically impossible to do that. It's to live a life with healthy, manageable stress that serves you rather than harms you. So it's about dialing down the volume of that unhealthy stress. I like that so much. I want to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Skylight Frames. You know, I'm a huge fan of having a family command center, but I also don't want clutter, which is why I am obsessed with my skylight frame. This is where I have

our entire family's digital calendar on a beautiful frame that sets out on my kitchen counter, and we can upload chore charts to it. We can upload our meal plan, menu plan, notes. It's really a way of organizing our entire family in one place. But the great thing is, when I'm not using it as a calendar, I can upload photos and it acts like a digital picture frame. This is such an amazing organizational tool in my home and I think it makes a perfect gift too for that person on your list or a gift for yourself. You definitely want to check out skylight frames. Right now you can get $20 off your purchase of a skylight frame when you go to skylightframe. dot com slash clutterbug that's s k y-l-ig-h-h-t-r-r-a-m-m-com slash clutterbug get $20 off your purchase now

how can we dial down I mean if you you have so many strategies but if you had to pick one that kind of stands out that someone can just easily incorporate that really can improve their life do you have one I don't want you to give us all of them because I want everyone to go buy your book. I'm happy to give one or two. So let's start with the first stop, breathe, B. It is a three-second brain reset, and the instructions are in the name. So you and I can do it together. You're going to stop, and the listeners can do it too. You're going to breathe, take a deep breath in and out, and just be. That took all of three seconds. And when you practice stop. Stop. And you're

Breathe B over and over throughout your day, what happens over time is that it can rewire your brain. So I first learned Stop Breathe B when I was a medical resident, like I said, when I was going through a big stress struggle. And I would use it whenever I would knock on the doorway before I would turn the do door knob when I would enter a patient's room. Now I do stop breathe B whenever I hit click Zoom, you know, join Zoom, or when I'm about to check my email, or it's a great doorknob. question when I'm moving in and out of my office, in and out of rooms. It's great in the morning when you're trying to get your kids ready for school and there's like a million things everywhere and you're like, did I remember everything? Did I pack everything? You say that to yourself, stop, breathe, be. What does it do? It taps in to your mind, body connection. It rewires your

brain over time because it gets you out of that anxious what if thinking because anxiety is actually a future focused emotion. It's about like what's happening in the future. What if this doesn't work out? What if I fail? What if I forget something? What if this bombs? What if? What if? What if? What if is a future focused emotion? It's not about the now. It's a doom and gloom about an unimagined future. But stop, breathe, B gets you out of what if thinking and back to what is in the here and the now. And it trains your brain so the mind-body connection is nothing more. It's a fancy term. All it means is that your brain or your body are constantly in communication, inextricably linked. It's good for your body, is good for your brain and vice versa. And we've all felt the mind-body

connection our whole life. So sweaty palms before a meeting, butterflies, before you, you know, as you're falling in love, or a roller coaster, you're in line for a roller coaster, and your stomach starts churning or your heart starts racing before you're about to go on stage for something. These are all examples of the mind-body connection at work. Your brain and your body are always communicating. The difference now is that while it's happening in the background all this time and you've just been kind of hanging out thinking this is how it has to be, you have the power to influence your mind-body connection so that it can serve you and help dial down that stress rather

than it just be like, oh, this is how it is. And the way you start tapping into your mind-body connection and understanding it so that you can influence it is stop, breathe, be. And you just do that over and over throughout the day. And that's like a really great easy reset. It was actually the first thing I learned when I was in my stress struggle. And, you know, when I was a stress patient before I became a doctor with an expertise in stress. And it helped me tremendously. And I use it to this day multiple times a day.

And it just helps you get grounded in the here and now. I like that because I can see this becoming one of those unconscious habits. Like at first you'll have to remind yourself and you'll have to say it. But then eventually this is something that you just do. So I'm a huge Mel Robbins fan. And, you know, years ago I saw her talk about high-fiving yourself in the mirror to get you motivated in the morning. So I started like forcing myself to do that. And now that's just an unconscious every morning.

I'm like, you got this girl, and I high-five myself, and it really works. So taking those, any time you're about to enter and you know, like, this is going to be a stressful situation, like before I go on a Zoom call, if I can stop, breathe B, I think in a very short amount of time, this might be something that I'm doing without even realizing it. Absolutely. And that's how I started. When I first learned how to do stop breathe and B, I would say to myself under my breath, as I would knock on the door and turn the doork up.

Now it's just like inherently something I have happened to do during the day. And I too do the high five habit. And Mel is one of my favorite people. I've actually been on her podcast several times and gone, you know, spent time with her in Boston. I was just there for my second appearance not too long ago. It's going to be like my third appearance on the podcast or something. One of my most favorite people truly so much better in real life than you can even imagine. I mean, is that even possible?

I was such a fan girl of hers before, but now I'm even more of a fan girl. I'm so happy for you. That's amazing. Actually, I watched one of those. I watched the one where you talked about the six elements that make an incredible life. And that's when I first became like a big fan of yours. And I was like, jeez, I need to just soak you in because the way you describe things that I feel like we should all know, but they're just kind of not there. When you say it, it's like, oh, yeah, that makes total an absolute sense. But you have a real way of kind of putting things in layman's terms, not over-complicating it, but bringing that science-backed information that makes it feel real. So I appreciate that. I love that. And I would love it if you shared with my listeners

those six elements that make an incredible life because that was really powerful for me. Oh, thank you. You are so, so kind. And, you know, I actually do really aspire when someone's like, you don't sound like a doctor. I'm like, well, thank you. It's the highest compliment. Because truly, you know, we use a lot of jargon and medical speak. And we just really, you just need to speak like a normal person because we're all ultimately normal people. And, you know, some of us have more science knowledge or training, etc. But it's about really making sure because stress is a universal. human normal experience. It doesn't matter what your job is. And so I love that you, that resonated with you, the live a lifetime in a day. It's one of my favorite prescriptions. And it's truly a universal prescription that I've given to many patients from all walks of life. And so live a lifetime in a day. It's simply that you are trying to bring in the six elements that make up a long and meaningful life. And that really create that arc of a long and meaningful life. into your every day. And it sounds like a lot of work, but it's actually the opposite of hustle culture,

you know. And so we start, and this is in no particular order. And literally you can do this for 30 seconds or a minute for each one. But the reason you want to do this is because you want to bring in these six elements. So at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow at night, you really feel like, wow, I lived a really full day. Because so often we go to bed, particularly when you're stressed and burned out and you feel like you're on this hamster wheel and you're just putting in so much effort just to make it through the day and you're not really getting very far. And that erodes at your sense, what we call in medical terms, it's your sense of agency, which basically means that like you just feel like you're not really good at

anything and you can't really finish everything and your sense of feeling empowered about yourself and your abilities and the way you interact with the world decreases. And so when you start practicing live a lifetime in a day, at the end of the day, you go to bed, you feel a sense of fulfillment and completion. And then you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to do that again tomorrow. And you keep going to say, you know what? Instead of just being able to walk five minutes, I'm going to walk 20 minutes today. And then it starts building all these healthy habits start building.

So what is live a lifetime in a day? There are a few key elements that make up a long and meaningful life. First, childhood. Spend a few minutes, if you can, in the state of wonder and play. We know that this has had really good scientific data to back it up. It doesn't have to be that you're like running through a park or something, you know. You can do this in the middle of your workday. Just something that brings you a sense of wonder and play helps you feel like you're in the moment.

And we can talk about some really key examples. And what that does is that it creates a sense of awe and that has an effect on your brain. It can help you get into the state of flow. And what happens when you're in a state of flow is that the hours pass like minutes. You remember when you were a little kid, when you'd ride your bike and you'd, you know, hours would pass. And you're like, what? I was only outside for five minutes.

So find an activity that can really tap into your sense of childhood, wonder, play, awe, and we'll get you into that brain state. it really just takes several minutes. So for me, it's drawing for others. It's playing a musical instrument. I have so many stories of patients and colleagues who wait until the weekend to play a guitar or the piano and instead just play for a few minutes every single day. I know it sounds radical for those people who, you know, play the guitar or play the piano. They're like, I can't play on a random Tuesday. But of course you can. Don't save it up for the weekend. So that's childhood. The second is easy to understand, work. We all work for many hours a day. But let's say you don't work outside the home or you don't do paid work. Instead, do some sort of work unpaid or paid. It doesn't matter. It feels like it really taps into your sense of productivity, achievement, and completion. Again, just a few minutes is enough. It builds that sense of agency like, oh, I can do this because if you can do this, you can probably do something else. That's what you.

it's training your brain for. Then spend a few minutes in family time. You might not have a family of your own and that's okay. This is about a sense of community, connecting with loved ones in some way, shape, or form. You might also be an introvert and say, I don't want to connect with anyone. A quick text goes a long way, a hello in the grocery store, seeing your barista. When you have that moment of connection with community or family time, quote-unquote family, what that's doing, it's fostering your sense of belonging. And we know that is so, so important for mental health and stress. It decreases your loneliness. And studies have shown that even a simple hello at the grocery store or coffee shop can actually make you feel a sense of connection.

Then spend a few moments in vacation. We all understand what that means. But in the course of a day, do something that brings you joy simply for joy's sake. We spend so much of our day focused on external achievement. Instead, focus on something that just makes you happy for you. Maybe that is even for busy moms, a self-care routine at night where they're cleaning their face and putting on their creams and lotions. That's what it is for me. Those 15 magical moments, those 15 magical minutes in my bathroom at night. It's such a moment of respite and vacation. And then finally, you spend a little bit of time in retirement. And what that means is, you know, you want to spend a few minutes every day reflecting, taking stock on what happened today. Because that's what

retirement is, right? It's like retirement is at the end of your life. You're like, oh, what did I achieve? And you're spending some time in rest. Same thing during the day. And so when you bring in all of these elements, these five elements into your everyday life, childhood, work, community, and family, retirement, and vacation, what you're doing is at the end of that workday or weekend, you are feeling a sense of deep fulfillment for the completion of the day. And you feel like, oh, I really did something. And instead of living in that autopilot hamster wheel mode that so many of us are in when it comes to stress and burnout, you have a lighter, more fulfilling feeling, which then bodes really well for stress and mental health and your overall sense

of well-being. And it's likely that the next day you'll probably be able to do that and more. Again, just a few minutes. It doesn't, you know, get creative. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but just bringing in those elements. And if you want, keep a little checklist and a little calendar saying yes, I was in childhood today. I did that. I was a, you know, spent a little time in vacation, spent a little time in retirement. It's a way to reframe your, the stress life that you are living and just feel a greater sense of joy when you are running on fumes. Yeah, I loved this so much. And when I first heard this concept, I didn't, I was like, what is this good? I want to do this, but what does this look like? So I brain dumped a bunch of ideas. And it was really silly things like

I got little swords and put those, you know, those. cherries that I got for ice creams. I love this. And I never actually had them for Sundays, but they were just in my fridge forever. So I literally like plop those in my orange juice with a splash of cranberry. And it felt like I was on vacation having, you know, I'm just having a glass of juice. But it felt special. Oh, I love that.

Yeah. And then I was like, well, maybe I will just, instead of having, you know, a glass of water and just a regular glass, what if I use like my fancy. wine glass with some ice. I know that sounds so silly, but it was those small things. And then I had this. It doesn't sound silly at all. It's actually genius. Because what you're trying to do is you're creating a sense of intention. And you want to have a feeling of ritual. Because when you are going through the drudgery of the day, like the grind, when every Tuesday looks like every other day or Wednesday or, you know, like when you're feeling a sense of stress and burnout, it's lots of

graze and you want to bring a little bit of color back into your life. So I love all of these examples you're sharing. It's quite genius. Yeah. I also, this is, this might, you might think is ridiculous. I have this robe that I had for my honeymoon that I don't know why I kept because it was probably super expensive. It had, it was like sheer and it had feathers and it was like to the floor, you know, that thing. And then I kept it. I should have decluttered it, but I didn't. I just thought one day. I was like, when I get out of the bath, because I love having a bath, I'm going to put this on while I, like, lotion myself. And I feel like, you know, a widow that murdered her last six husbands and she's super rich now, you know? It's so absurd. I like spray perfume on myself before

I go to bed. As part of this, like, fancy, boozy movie star, I should get one of those cigarettes on a stick I don't smoke. But you know what I'm saying? Love it. I'm just feeling all this ridiculous pretend. And that feels kind of like childhood and vacation at the same time because it's almost like a little make believe and my husband teases me. And yeah, it's probably silly. But I don't know. Like it's fun. It's a fun way of getting ready for bed that's now become part of, I know it sounds ridiculous. It doesn't sound ridiculous or silly at all. You should tell your husband that a doctor prescribed this. And doctor's orders more fun and silly. is just what the doctor ordered. I mean, we need this. And I bet your mental health and your

stress, even if it is for those several minutes when you're doing, you know, putting on the feather robe and putting on all your lotions and creams and feeling like a real diva, it brings you a lot of joy. It really does. And it reminds me to take care of myself. So I'm like putting lotion on my skin that I normally wouldn't do because I'm just like rushing to do my bedtime routine to go to bed, it like makes me stop and kind of do those few extra minutes of self-care that I normally wouldn't do because I'm in this role of diva or whatever. I love it. I'm going to adopt some of these strategies immediately.

I have different ones, but I am really going to lean into my inner diva after this conversation. I have a fabulous robe and slippers with some feathers on them too. Yes. I think we all need this in our lives. So you can brain dump lots of little things that kind of invoke all those things that you talked about and then kind of leave it out. I think I'm all about decluttering. But if we can leave that out as a reminder until we get in the habit of doing that, I think these things are important.

And maybe they can help reduce stress. But more than that, I think they help us make ourselves a priority again and remind us of what really matters. because we can really get distracted by just the day-to-day grind. Yeah, about, you know, one of the most important strategies that I talk about in the Five Resets, and there's a lot of science to back this up. It's this idea of taking breaks and brain breaks. So you and I and everyone else has been taught that productivity and being resilient and a strong worker and a good worker is like keeping your head down and just working,

working, working nonstop. But now the new science shows that, in fact, your brain and your body, rest and recovery aren't just nice to have luxuries. They're actually a necessity. And your brain works better. In fact, it optimally functions when it is given discrete and regular periods of rest. So that doesn't mean like 10 minutes every three days. It means 10 to 15 minutes throughout your workday. They've done brain scans to show that there's a difference in brains. You know, when you work for eight hours straight without taking any breaks or if you take incremental breaks, at the end of that workday, you see the two different groups of brain scans, the group that took frequent short breaks.

And we're not talking about like hours of time here. Just 10 or 15 minutes, three, four or five times a day can have a profound influence on your brain. It helps to reset your stress. It improves your attention. your focus, your memory, concentration, so many things. So like you're suggesting Cass, you know, at the end of the day or, you know, minutes when you're like taking a break in the middle of the day, you might say like, oh, I can't really do much, but you can pour yourself some orange juice in a fancy cup

and put a cherry in it and like feel so great about that moment and give yourself that sense of real intentionality because we know that what do we usually do? Most people during a break, you'll just scroll mindlessly through social media. And instead, be mindful and present in that moment and intentional about your break. So even at the end of the day, instead of just like plopping into bed, like, forget it. It's the end of the day. It doesn't matter. But like, you know, taking a little bit of pride, putting on your outfit, it takes no, it takes

such little time. In fact, it's like the same amount of time when you really think about it. But the boon and the effect it can have for your brain when it comes to taking a brain break, over time, it can be phenomenal and quite impactful. So there's a lot of good science to back this all up, even though it just feels very frivolous and fun, which is great. It can feel frivolous and fun. And while it is still doing good, you can feel good in the process.

Yeah, I catch myself kind of apologizing and making excuses any time that I am taking time to relax. And you probably hear this a lot. I love that you're like the champion for changing the narrative because right now in this society, there is a badge of honor for being busy. And if you ask someone like, how are you? It's, oh, I'm so busy and I'm taking my kids to hockey and I'm doing this and I'm working this and I'm working this.

Like this is what we feel we need to say and do in order to be a good human. Like I don't know where this is coming from, but definitely I was raised by parents that prided themselves on working hard all the time and bragging and complaining about it at the same time. This was like if you were a person who didn't weren't like this, you were lazy. You were all the negative things. And so I love that you're kind of like let's champion. How are you? What did you do today? I took time and rested. I breathed. I sat outside and watched birds. What if that can be how we brag about living a full day? Ah, makes me tear up and thinking about that.

And truly, it is time. It is high time for us to change that conversation. You know, when you are in this mindset of constant productivity, first we know, the science pans out that it actually makes you less productive. when you are multitasking, which again, a badge of honor, right? Like, oh, I'm a great multitasker. People really use that as a badge of honor. Multitasking is bad for the brain. And we know that the science shows that multitasking, there's actually no such thing.

It's called task switching. You're doing two separate tasks in rapid secession. Your brain is wired to do one thing at a time. Multitasking doesn't even exist in the brain. And it, in fact, weakens your cognition. your memory, and ironically, your productivity. And so I was a really good, quote-unquote, multitasker. And now I am a fully recovered multitasker just because I know what it does to the brain. And instead, I have fully adopted this idea of monotasking, doing one thing at a time.

Multitasking is a myth. It doesn't exist. A hundred percent of us think we are excellent multitaskers. the truth is only 2% of human brains can effectively multitask. And so, you know, a lot of these notions that you and I have been raised with, it's this idea of like toxic resilience or like this, you know, just keep going. Keep your head down. We always thought we were raised with thinking tolerating high levels of discomfort is about what resilience is all about. Just keep going.

Just keep going. It's like the energizer bunny. That's like the emblem of toxic resilience, you know. Just keep going. no matter what. In the UK, they have Keep Calm and Carry On. So every culture has its own definition of toxic resilience. And essentially what it means is it's like mind over matter mindset, productivity at all costs, not really honoring any boundaries, not understanding the human body or brain's ability for rest and recovery, not as a biological, not as a luxury, but a true

biological necessity. And instead, I hope that our conversation today and, you know, a lot of the work that I do is to really reframe that narrative away from toxic resilience, back to true resilience. What is true resilience is honoring your boundaries, celebrating your ability to say no, really leaning into this idea of self-compassion. Because you and I, Cass, and everyone, we have an innate biological ability called resilience. That's true resilience. Resilience is your innate biological ability to adapt, recover, and grow in the face of life's challenges. And over the course of several years and decades, like I said the word, if I said the word

resilience to you in like 2015, you would have been like, oh, it's a positive word. It's great. But now when I say the word to you or if someone says to you, oh, Cass, just be more resilient. You bristle. It is such a cringe-worthy word to me, resilience now, because that definition has morphed into toxic resilience. Yeah, that is so true. When you talk about be more resilient, I felt that. I was like, oh, I'm already carrying so much.

You know, I want to put some down. Like, I don't want to run harder, work, like run faster, work harder. This is the narrative that is making us all burnt out. It really is. And if you're listening to the Clutterbug podcast, you've probably struggled with a messy house or a cluttered house and you're like, ugh. And it is one of those like, is it a chicken or an egg situation? I really feel that because I do think clutter causes stress, but I think living in a state of chronic stress having high cortisol levels means that we can't effectively get anything done. So how can we declutter or organize our home when we're just spills? We tend to procrastinate. We are distracted. And I love that you talk about multitasking as being this myth because when I'm working with clients who are struggling to get their house under control, they're trying to sort, they're trying to declutter, they're trying to organize, they're trying to do it all at the same time, which is why they're failing, you know, because their brain isn't

focusing on one task. They're trying to do everything in therefore doing nothing, but it sure is exhausting. They're just running in circles. Yeah. And you know, what's fascinating about the brain is like you said, when you're feeling with your clients, when you're feeling a sense of stress, your amygdala, I won't get too scientific, but the amygdala is a small almond shape structure deep in the brain whose only focus is survival and self-preservation. That amygdala is what governs your fight or flight response. We talked about those tigers and the forest, right? And that fight or flight response is really, it's what your stress response is. By design, your amygdala is focused on immediate survival and your needs. So thinking about the future,

making a plan for say, oh, in a month from now, I want to declutter this area or work on this area or manage this area. That's almost biologically impossible when you're in a state of fight or flight because you're just thinking about right now, right in the year, in the now, because it's your amygdala. And so what you want to do through the work of the resets and through lots of different strategies is to move out of the amygdala, the amygdala mode or fight or flight and get back to an area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex. It's an area right here. If you put your hand on your forehead, it's the area right behind your forehead. And that prefrontal cortex is that area that is responsible for things like,

memory, planning, organization, complex problem solving skills. It's like adulting, for lack of a better word. And when you move, you know, so how do you move from that amygdala to the prefrontal cortex, you dial down your stress response in your brain and your body so that your prefrontal cortex can get back online. So this is very relevant to your work and my work. It's kind of like the area where our two worlds combine, because when you are having an external, you know, when you're having a lot of external mess, you have that internal mess and vice versa. And so when you dial down your stress response in the body, then you can stop thinking out of amygdala mode, get out of that immediate need for survival mode, and let your prefrontal cortex

take charge again. So all of the strategies we've talked about today, stop breathe B can help you do that. Live a lifetime in a day can help you do that. And, you know, avoiding multitasking. There are so many things that you can do to dial down that volume of your amygdala. Yeah. And your book has, I mean, that's what your book is all about. So please let my listeners know how they can order a copy of your book, where they can get it,

because it will totally change their lives, and how they can follow you and just learn more about all the incredible messages you're sharing. I would love to, Cass. So the book is available in 35 countries and 15 links. And you can look on my website, which is five resets.com, number five resets.com. To order it, it's available in English and, you know, 14 other languages. And it's available on Amazon at your independent booksellers. You can go to bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble. It's available everywhere. And then to learn more about me and follow my work, I'm on all social media channels at Dr. Aditi Narutkar. That's at DR, A-D-I-T-I-N-E-R-U-R-K-A-R. Thank you so much. I ordered a copy for myself and I ordered one for my mom as a Christmas gift.

And she's not a big self-help book person, but I just know, like, I know this is what she needs. She's just constantly in this, like, frazzled state. And you just have such a beautiful way of breaking it down. So it's easy to understand and, like, real steps that you can take. So thank you for writing that book and sharing all of your knowledge with all of us. I already feel like less stressed just talking to you. I do. I'm so happy to hear that.

You can tell your mom to listen to the audiobook. A lot of people have really leaned into that. So, you know, people who don't like to read will often listen to the audiobook on walks and different things like that. So there's like audio, Kindle, and print. The paperback is coming out in January. And so there's many ways to get. that information and I'm always doing media projects and there's some in the works that I'll

share in a few months. But I am so excited for your mom's journey and your journey to less stress. You know, I have doubled down on the five resets, my self-cast. So when I am going through periods of stress, I just like focus on those resets and they help me every single time. So I still continue to be very much a student of this work as well as someone as someone who teaches this. Well, thank you so much. Do you narrate the audio book yourself? I do.

Oh, gosh. Because your voice is so relaxing. That sounds lovely. I think I'll get that copy of the audio book too. Thanks. Because I do. I feel so much calmer. And I hope all of my listeners, I hope you're feeling the same way.

And I hope you continue on this journey of less stress. And let's together change the narrative. Let's stop bragging about being busy. Let's start up, you know, saying, oh, I have all these things going on. And instead, let's rewire our brain to focus on updating other people about how we relaxed today and what kind things we did for ourselves today and other people instead of the hustle and the bustle. So thank you again so much for being here. It was incredible.

And thank you for everyone listening. We'll see you guys next time.