Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Simplify Your Life and The Holidays with Katy Wells | Clutterbug Podcast # 250

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Are you struggling to simplify your life, or wondering how to make minimalism work for you? In this episode, I’m chatting with Katy Wells from The Maximized Minimalist about the challenges and rewards of simplifying life. While we often think of minimalism as a destination, Katy reminds us that it's truly about the journey—and finding small, sustainable ways to simplify every day. I’ll also dive into practical strategies for simplifying the holidays, so you can enjoy a more intentional season without the overwhelm. Katy’s unique perspective on minimalism and simplifying life is full of wisdom, and I know you’re going to find this conversation so inspiring.   Be sure to check out Katy’s podcast, Instagram, and website for even more helpful tips and insights! The Maximized Minimalist Podcast: https://www.katyjoywells.com/podcast-3141 Katy Wells Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katyjoywells/?hl=en Learn more about Katy's Courses: https://www.katyjoywells.com/courses-page   You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast #simplifylife   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are definitely parts of simplifying my life that I still struggle with. And we're going to talk about those struggles today. We're going to talk more about minimalism and how we can not strive towards an ultimate destination, but more focused on the simplifying journey. And we are also going to talk about some amazing strategies for simplifying the holidays. And I'm very excited because today's guest is amazing. We're talking to Katie Wells from the. maximized minimalist. I am such a huge fan of her incredible podcast. I follow her on Instagram.

She has so much wisdom and a real different way of looking not only at minimalism, but just simplifying in general that I know is going to resonate with you. Are you ready? You are going to love this interview. So welcome Katie to the Clutterbuzz podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you so much. I am totally stoked to chat with you today about all things simplifying and can't wait to see where the conversation takes us. I think as, I mean, I guess I'm a decluttering expert. It feels weird to say that, but I talk a lot about decluttering on the internet. Even I had a lot of misconceptions about minimalism. I was like, I need to have one pair of shoes and only 10 pairs of pants or something. Like, I don't know. It's the rules. And so I love when I'm listening to your podcast,

which is amazing that you're really making it attainable and you're simplifying the whole idea of minimalism that it isn't about the numbers. And you said something that was so good. I have to repeat it. And then I want you to jump in and tell us all about your thoughts. But you said minimalism is not a destination. It's a vehicle. Yes. Can you elaborate. more on that because this really struck me. Yeah. And, you know, early on in my declutter simplifying journey, I was, I think like a lot of us have experience in life just in the thick of it. I had all the clutter. I was so suffocated by it. And I remember thinking, I need to go a polar opposite. Like, in order to solve this problem, I have to try and figure out this full-blown minimalism thing.

So that's really how I dipped my toe in it and very quickly realized, like, is this create? for like people with kids and like people who don't want all white furniture because my kids are going to ruin that in five seconds flat or like people with fur babies and like all these things. I'm like, is this real or is this, you know, and the invisible rules you talked about. So at some point along my journey trying to hit the destination of minimalism, like when am I there? How many pairs of shoes am I allowed to have as a minimalist? All these things that tend to come up. I realized that if I just shifted my perspective,

and instead said, Katie, this isn't about the destination, whether it's minimalism or something as simple as like a perfectly tidy home, which can be, you know, similar but different for a lot of us. I was like, this has to be more about the journey, like the stuff that happens in between. And if we can use minimalism or our belief structure about simplifying and why we're doing it to begin with, it makes a journey so much more enjoyable. And ultimately, the end goal, the destination is what? It's more time. It's more freedom.

It's more energy to invest into things that we actually care about, hanging out with the family, experiences, you know, like spending time with my husband on the couch at the end of a busy day. Like these are all the things I'm gaining back. And here's what is so important to understand. Your home doesn't have to be perfect. in order to start feeling the benefits. Like, you can declutter five things right now,

and you're physiologically going to feel better. Like, you're going to hold your shoulders higher. You're going to be like, I feel lighter. I feel less burdened. And that was, what, 30 seconds, maybe 60 seconds. So I think sometimes we get so wrapped up and, like, I'll feel the benefits when my home is perfect or when I hit that minimalist destination.

But it's so profound to just have that perspective shift and say, I can take some of the beliefs and principles of minimalism, living with less gives you more, but it doesn't have to be the end-all be-all. And for me, that changed everything. It's so good. Yeah, I love that. Were you, like, how did you get into minimalism? Were you always somebody who was, like, kind of leaning that way of having less? Or was there something that was a catalyst? Like, I need this because. I am a bit of a recovering perfectionist. So when my kids were two and one, we had a life-changing moment where we got into a really bad car accident.

And I almost lost my husband. And this isn't a time in life. Again, it's a season of life, absolutely played into it. But my clutter was so overwhelming. I hated my home. I hated being at home. It was so stressful. And I'll never forget after being in the hospital all day.

And Cass, I waited for six hours to hear something from the doctor because they couldn't tell me anything. And I thought, did I lose my husband? Am I going to leave this hospital a widow? I'm already struggling in life with my house, you know, being all the things, right? All the spinning plates we have in the air as women. And it was incomprehensible to how I would keep going without my husband. So once the doctor came in and said, okay, Katie, like, he's going to be okay. He's, you know, broken neck, broken shoulder, all the things, but he'll be okay. Like, just go home. The doctor was like, just go home and rest. And I was so, you know, the adrenaline quit pumping at that point.

I was never more exhausted in my life. And I said, oh, I just can't wait to go home and just feel like, you know, when you go home and you just want to rest. Like, you know, I've heard you say this too. Like our homes should be a refuge. Our home should be a sanctuary. And they don't have to be perfect to be that. And I walked into my house and I took a deep breath and I thought, fine, you know. and I was so overwhelmed.

And at that moment, I really saw my home for what it was. It was distracting me from anything I cared about in life. It wasn't just about the stuff. It wasn't just about the clutter, the piles, or the toys. It was that it was pulling me away from being a mom, from being a wife, from now needing to help my husband, you know, be there to support him on this healing journey that took several months after this experience. And so, again, as a true performance,

I thought, well, then the pendulum has to go from completely cluttered over here to over here. So eventually I found a radical medium, like a harmony between the two, right? Because we're humans. We make messes, all the things. But that is really why my brain immediately went to like, I have to be the opposite of what I am now. I have to achieve this thing in order to kind of dig myself out from this clutter. And again, realized pretty quickly that, again, I can use it as a vehicle to get me to the destination. It's not the destination itself. Oh, I'm so sorry you went through that. Honestly,

I had no idea. I follow you and I haven't heard that story. So I'm so sorry. I think a lot of us who got to the point where we're like, enough is enough. I want to get my house under control. We had something. We had that moment where like I cannot do this anymore. Yes. Yes. The rock bottom is a pretty standard story, you know, for a lot of us. But I would want to, you know, encourage your listeners that, like, you don't have to wait until you hit your rock bottom. Like, you can start, you can start today. Go declutter some things off your counter. I mean, follow, you know, you give so much wonderful advice on decluttering and organizing as well. And I think, again, a lot of us struggle with these perfectionistic tendencies, whether we identify as a perfectionist

or not, I remember opening up all the traditional declutter advice at the time. And it was, And it still exists, right? Step one, pull everything out. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm immediately overwhelmed. I don't have two hours to knock out, you know, this junk drawer, which it probably did take, it would take me two hours. I have two minutes before the baby wakes up from his nap. And because, again, this is my tendency anyway to do all or nothing or what's the point. That only exacerbated that. And procrastination kicks in, right? Perfectionism and procrastination really are just like this vicious cycle. And, I'll tackle that when I have an extra two hours free while I work 60 hours a week and I'm raising two kids under two. As you can imagine, that elusive two, three, four, five, six hours a day never happened. And all the while the clutter is building, my stress is building along with it. So again, going back to this holistic declutter philosophy I came with, came up with, you know, through my own journey is that it's more about like this, these surface level fixes. It's about digging deeper. we have to address the roots of why clutter exists to begin with.

We have to address our habits, our emotions, like our core values. And if we want lasting change, it doesn't have to be like this big exhaustive journey, but those little pivot points, the little 1% here, 1% here, bringing in more curiosity and awareness about our consumption habits, why we're clinging or struggling with certain clutters. These are really valuable things that if we just take a few seconds to take a little reflection on, we can learn so much about ourselves and ultimately make more progress in the simplifying journey. And along the way, have more happiness, have more time, freedom, energy, all these things to do what we want to do. I love that you talked about the consumption aspect because for me, this is the part of the idea of minimalism that I'm really drawn to.

I got decluttering down. It took a while, but I've built my muscles. I'm like, yes, but I'm really struggling with the self-control that comes with not giving in at the store. I'm watching TikToks right now, and everyone's decorating their home for Christmas, and they have giant nutcrackers at the front door, and their house looks like a magazine. And I feel like I want that too. Like I fall into this trap where I'm like, Oh, look at this new scented candle or look at this cool new gadget. This is, this seems so nice. I want to treat myself. And I know, I know from all the decluttering that these little things end up just going in the donation been a year from now.

And I'm cursing myself after, you know, a week after purchasing it. But it's really hard for me in the moment. Have you, do you also find it hard? Or is it your kind of like identity? as a minimalist that almost helps you in those moments like, nope, I'm going to be grateful for what I have and I'm not giving in. Tell me your secrets. Anyone that tells you the latter, like, no, it's easy for me. I have no problems. Once I declared myself a minimalist life, like it was unicorns and rainbows. I would highly question anyone that said, because we're human.

And really part, it's, it's our psychology. It's our humanity at play when we are experiencing these feelings of comparison when we're on social media. Oh, like, I already have what I, I already like what I have, but that's a really beautiful nutcracker she bought. And that would look really nice on my table. And it was a hard week, right? So we start this negotiation process. Like, you can't remove that part of you necessarily. But you did key in on something really important here, cast, that identity drives.

behavior. So what we eat, what we buy, what we struggle to declutter, our favorite things. Like, it, it, identity drives everything. So if you are struggling with this, and there's some more tips we can certainly talk about. But on a much broader kind of 30,000 foot view, this is really, really powerful. So when you identify as a minimalist, yes, absolutely, that can help curb that and put more of a pause between like, ooh, that's cute. I love that. And, you know, the purchase of it, which ultimately gets us closer to our goal of a simpler life, more money, all the things, you know, that are important to you.

So that's a really great place to start. And if it's not minimalist for you, that's fine. In fact, for me over the years, I really shifted to simplifier. I am like, I'm a simplifier. Me and my community, like, we are simplifiers. It just feels a little more holistic and well-rounded to me because I got to tired of trying to combat minimalist and what it is with certain people. And I'm like, I'm a simplifier, baby. Like, this is me. And yes, that can absolutely help. But I think, too, from a very

practical standpoint, again, understanding that part of it is the comparison. Part of it is fear of missing out, hey, this nutcracker, not only is it cute, but she's saying it's half off. Oh, that's a good deal. What if this won't be around again? Again, another psychological piece at play, as much as we can to try and insert more friction and pause, like I said, between that experience to the purchase is really fruitful. So I tend to take screenshots when I feel that way. And I try my darndest to wait 24 hours. Sometimes do I buy something right away?

Yes. And guess what? I don't guilt myself over it. I give myself permission. And guess what? If I get that thing in the mail and it's not anything, I don't love it, then I give myself permission to send it back. I think the idea here, too, I want to reiterate is it's not about being perfect.

So many people who are trying to simplify, consume less, save money, de-clutter, really start to shame themselves. Like, oh, I shouldn't have bought this, right? It's really cute, but I shouldn't have bought this because then I could put that money. And we kind of spiral a little bit. So if we can just pause and, again, going to that reflection piece I mentioned earlier and say, what is it about this nutcracker that I love? Well, I love sparkly things. I love this and I love this and I like the holiday decor.

So give yourself permission. Like that's your thing. I tell my audience, everyone has their thing. I love clothes. So am I going to limit myself to two sweaters? No, because that's my thing. But with the reflection piece, this really changed my life. And when I learned this along my getting to the roots of my clutter, because I was a big consumer, massive consumer. I had a lot of emotional triggers and I would go on Amazon and spend, right? Spend, spend, spend, bringing in lots of clutter to my house. But when I learned that when we are actually buying something, we're not buying things, we are buying identities, we are buying aspirational identities, we are buying feelings, we are buying emotions, we are buying stories that we tell ourselves.

So yes, for some cases, absolutely, it could be just like, I really like that Nutcracker and I love it and that's fine and there's not really anything deeper past that. But I would say for many cases, especially if you see yourself in a pattern of buying the same type of thing, shoes, purses. It's like you buy a purse, you love it, you enjoy it for a week and then you're on to the next one, like that type of pattern. If you just get curious without judgment on yourself and say, what am I trying to buy here? Right?

Because again, that's the humanity piece you can't take out. even the minimalist, even whatever, Marie Kondo, when she buys a top, she's thinking the top that I want to feel good and confident in. Like, we all have the things that we want our clothing to do beyond just like, like, I love to be cozy. But it's like, right, that's the humanity piece you can't take out. So getting to the root of the behavior by taking some reflection, what am I really buying into here? can really help you curb that pattern. That's so, I know, I know what I'm buying here. You're right, it's not about the nutcracker.

I've definitely noticed a trend that I buy things that make me feel like I have my life together. Does that make sense? Absolutely. I want to feel like I have control over my home and I'm able to manage it and they can look pretty and I can have any area of my life I want to feel like I'm, yeah, I got this, I'm in control. So when I see giant nutcrackers at the door, that's like, oh, she had time to decorate and she's, you know, got that aspect. I don't know why, but that is definitely where my brain's going. So whatever, you're right, whatever the underlying feeling or the underlying desire that you're trying to fulfill with these buying,

something that I found helpful. And you talk a lot about this as well is focusing on the gratitude. Yes. or focusing on kind of reinforcing that thing with what you already have. So anytime I'm feeling like I want to buy something so that I feel like my life is in control, if I grab a piece of paper and I write down ways that I am in control and that my life is in control, those desires to prove it to myself kind of melt away. Yes. Yes. Because I've proven it on paper. I used to, I agree. I used to keep like a wish list, similar to what I talked about with the screenshots in my phone,

like, oh, I see something. I like it. I'll put it on my little notes tab. And then when I started doing after, you know, using that to, again, create more pause and bring in my prefrontal cortex which kinds of shuts down. Sometimes it gets overridden by like, I need this. I deserve it, right? But I also started going, you know, this cute puffer code I saw on Instagram's adorable. And then I put that on the gratitude list. And then I would say, what is one thing I have? a coat, usually it's something pretty aligned with this item that I already love. Or just, it could be completely unrelated. What am I grateful for today?

And I would put that side by side next to the item. And it does something psychologically to me and to my students who do this because it's not only like, hey, I'm putting this year, I'll come back to it later. If I want it, I'll get it, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's taking it one step further. And for me, it gave me just a profound grounding experience. And it was just plain as day. It's like, yes, that coat is cute.

And it also helped me realize, like, I don't need to buy all the cute things. There will always be someone who's got better clothes, cuter clothes, cuter nutcrackers at her front door, who appears to have her life together. And it's just this never-ending game that I don't want to play anymore. And so for me, it gave me that permission to go, hey, I can love that coat. It looks great on her. And I appreciate it from a distance, but I don't need it in my life because it's not getting me

closer to what I truly, truly want. And so to be able to, again, put friction between the action of consuming and bringing it in, knowing, again, you share that too, that guilt that comes up when it ends up in the donation bin next holiday season because you don't care for it anymore because there's another new nutcracker that has different sparkles on it, you know? Like, that is powerful stuff. And again, we can stop and pull the weed out by its root versus just chopping it off that ground level.

We all know how the story is going to end. We're going to get, you know, lasting results. And definitely for me, the decluttering has helped give me pause at the store or before I purchase something online because it hurts so bad. I didn't even realize how much I was buying. It's like death by a thousand cuts, a little here, you know, $20 here. I'm going to the dollar store again. I have a dollar store problem. I'm much better. And then through my decluttering, through like actually being intentional. So today I'm going to spend 20 minutes and I'm going to just find things to leave my house. Ouch, it hurt. And I saw things and I had to let go of things. And that gave me

pause the next time I was going to the store about to order online because I had just experienced the embarrassment and the shame of having to buy those things and then let them go. So a lot of people say, like, I know I shop too much. How could I possibly, you know, kind of stop myself in the moment? decluttering is an excellent way of training your brain to think that way, to like give yourself pause in those impulsive moments and be like, ooh, is this going to hurt later? Yeah, I agree. And you hit the nail on the head, but I think obviously your declutter muscle, as I always say, has gotten quite strong over the years, right?

So you were someone who is now able to go like, ooh, this doesn't feel good, but I'm still going to know what I know I need to do, which is to let. it go. It's not serving me anymore. So that's really awesome. I'm so proud of you because that's where a lot of people get hung up, right? Well, this costs money or if I need to replace this again. What if I can't get it, right? That scarcity gets kicked up awfully quick. Even though on paper, we go, well, this is clutter. I haven't used it in 12 years. It can be hard to, you know, move past that. So it's awesome that you can do that. And I also want to share through this process of decluttering, we can take a little reflection here and go, especially when you're going, like,

look for patterns. I would say that is one of the biggest things that helped me get to the root and on a lot of levels from a consumption, like look for patterns. And I would go, why is this? Why am I letting go of this? You know, why didn't I wear this sweater? Well, I had eight blue, or let's just say green sweaters as an example and go, why do I have all these green sweaters?

Well, I think I like green, but in reality, I always reach for my blue sweats. sweater. And so you can take mental note very quickly through the deep clutter process and go, you know what? Note to self. Quit buying green sweaters because you always reach for the blue one anyway. So you can, again, getting curious is one of the most valuable, I think life skills in general. But also when it comes to simplifying and tecluttering, that pause, that awareness can give you so much more back and really just add like, you know, rocket fuel onto the fire and just really speed up results. Yeah. It's so good because any area of my life where I've had success where I've kind of like leveled up and it was able to achieve things. It came first from having some

real self-awareness moments. Like why am I struggling with this in the first place? Right. What is it that I'm doing or why am I doing these things deeper than just surface level? that's when I started having real change when I started noticing like, why am I always shoving things in a drawer? Why am I not putting the papers that I've, the bills that I've paid in this filing cabinet? Why am I shoving them in a drawer? I actually really asked myself, and it's not just your lazy, Cass, and you're not taking a second to walk over there. There's more to it than that. And when I dug deep, I was like, oh, I think I need a new system. My brain doesn't really work like this. I need to like kind of adapt. And that's kind of, of a metaphor for every area of my life that I noticed was circling the drain. And I was able to kind of pull it out and change it. It is. It's that self-reflection, that self-awareness, that pause and stopping and like, why am I really doing this? What's underneath this surface? This reminds me, if I can share one of my student stories, I had a student, Liz. And when she came to me, she's like, Katie, I've got a problem. That's always fun.

to start and I said, okay, like what's happening? She goes, I'm really good at decluttering. I'm really great at organizing, but my thing is makeup. She goes, I love high-end expensive makeup. And I, you know, I'm spending thousands of dollars a month on makeup. I can't seem to stop. And I already have too much. You know, my makeup vanity is overflowing. I have hundreds of lipstick, all the things. And she, she got so you know we started obviously we had to focus on the leak you know in in the canoe um and i said okay so we had through a lot of you know one-on-one discussion and reflection and awareness on her end she realized because she always gave herself permission like you know how i said earlier if that's your thing let it be your thing well she took that to the next level right and and she knew too

that it was it was taking her further away from our goals of living simply and saving money And that's the thing. And I think, again, finding harmony between like, if makeup's your thing, let it be your thing. But if you know, like, when you buy a lipstick or buy another blush and you feel really bad after you're like, oh, I shouldn't have done that. Oh, that was like, it's too much, right? Key into those because like your intuition and your body knows. But through our conversation, she realized for the first time that she kept buying makeup, not because she loved it, because she was trying to fulfill some insecurity she had about her looks and about. her lack of confidence and lack of self-worth.

And if you think about how marketing works, that is what they are selling us. They're creating these problems for us, especially as women. Like I'm realizing I'm 36. I'm like, oh, I guess I'm not allowed to age because all of the ads, once I turned like 35 in my Instagram and Facebook feeds, all of a sudden became about anti-aging. And so we pick up these subconscious, these messages, which can be very acute and like clear, But also we turn these into subconscious beliefs. Well, if I want to be valued as a woman as I get older and I want to be, feel confident

and sexy and beautiful and all these things and this makeup line or this blush or this mascara is going to get me there, I'm going to keep buying these things. But we all know what happens. We buy the mascara. Maybe we use it. Maybe we don't. And then the insecurity is still there, right? We're trying to like fill a void with all these items that become clutter.

And so what's interesting is on the back side of. things, we recognize it's clutter. I don't need 200 shades of lipstick in my makeup vanity. But if we follow a traditional checklist, step one, pull all your lipstick out, step two, get rid of anything you haven't used in six months. When we get stuck in this situation, it's because of the meaning we've assigned to it. And we don't, it's subconscious, right? We don't always, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, aware. And so when we can declutter the belief about the stuff, right, I don't need another lipstick. It's not going to solve this insecurity. I need to tackle this from another area. And, you know,

when we can declutter that belief, then it's like a light turning on in a dark room for people. Then they're like, okay, all right, I can get rid of these 80 other lipsticks I no longer need anymore. And it's just, again, skyrocket's progress. And so if you were struggling with certain categories of thing like Liz was, whatever it is, clothes versus things like that, to be able to declutter that belief is so liberating on a mental level because you're no longer attached to this belief like my self-worth comes from my luxury car or my bigger home or my nutcrackers on my front stoop, you know? That is more, I think, liberating.

me than like decluttering the thing because it it changes everything. It changes how you view yourself. It changes how you talk to yourself, that internal dialogue we all have. It changes how you talk to yourself when you see those nutcracker ads on Instagram, everything. And all of a sudden, decluttering becomes so much easier and fruitful and like fun, right? It doesn't have to feel like drudgery work. Yes, decluttering the belief. And you know, I like this. much because a lot of the clients that I've worked with in the past, why decluttering is hard is because they have this fundamental belief in them that they're a resourceful person. They're not wasteful.

They were raised with pride in their parents, like their moms, washed out their Ziploc bags and dried them. So they have this fundamental belief that they are a resourceful person. They don't waste. They don't contribute to landfills. They reuse things. and there's a sense of pride there. But it gets muddied because now they can't really walk in their home. So decluttering the belief that you have to keep everything and can never let go of anything

in order to be a person who's not wasteful or who is resourceful is so important. And I had a client who said to me, like, I don't want to contribute to a landfill. And I don't want to be that person like other people who are just throwing things out. And I said to her, is your home then the alternative to a landfill? Yeah. Right? I'm sure that was eye-opening for her. It was because at this point she knew that these things she did not want in her house and were trash.

But her belief was letting them go that made her a bad person. And when she could step back and really evaluate and really take a look at this belief and realize, well, that's crazy pants. it was so much easier for her to say, it still feels wrong, but it's now I'm capable. It's doable. Because I see that my house is not an alternative to a landfill and that I'm holding on so tight to this belief that I'm not really living the life that I want. And so decluttering the belief. Oh, that's so good. Absolutely. And I know my listeners listening, you have these beliefs, whatever they are in you that are holding you back from doing the things that you really want to do, whether it's decluttering, whether it's not buying as much of those categories anymore. We have to get to your root and your bottom Y. I want to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Skylight Frames. You know, I'm a huge fan of having a family command

center, but I also don't want clutter, which is why I am obsessed with my skylight frame. This is where I have our entire family's digital calendar on a beautiful frame that sets out on kitchen counter and we can upload chore charts to it, we can upload our meal plan, menu plan, notes. It's really a way of organizing our entire family in one place. But the great thing is, when I'm not using it as a calendar, I can upload photos and it acts like a digital picture frame. This is such an amazing organizational tool in my home and I think it makes a perfect gift too for that person on your list or a gift for yourself. You definitely want to check out skylight frames. Right now, you can get $20 off your purchase of a skylight frame when you go to skylightframe.com

slash clutterbug. That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-E dot com slash clutterbug. Get $20 off your purchase now. I really want to talk about the holidays really quickly. I just listen to your podcast. You put out like eight days ago or so about simplifying the holidays. Let's talk about this because this is the most stressful time of year and we are accumulating. Not only are we buying things, we're buying things to bake cookies and to prepare meals and we're buying gifts for other people. We're buying gift wrap. But then we receive a bunch of stuff from other people. And also we have parties on top of that and we're worried about traditions and making it magical for our family. And holy crap, I'm already stressed out, just thinking about it.

I'm so stressed out, man. How can we simplify the holidays? What are concrete things that we can actually do to just make life easier this time a year? Because this is the most stressful time of year. More people have depression than any other time of year. People have mental breakdowns during this time of year. And it's because of all the pressure and all the expectations and all the stuff that's

weighing us down. I think one great question to ask, or something to bear repeating in our minds as a friendly reminder is that we don't need, just like we don't need to keep something in our lives forever just because it served you six months ago and it's not serving you now. It's clutter, right? It's clutter. And so the same thing goes with some of these traditions, I think a lot of us have this time of year. And one question you could ask yourself is, is this actually serving me and my family, this tradition or this experience or this expectation? And start having those, whether it's an inner dialogue or with your partner, with your family, I think that can really bring up a lot for people. Like you said, the pressure is so much. And sometimes we feel like we're failing our kids

or our family if we don't want to do a tradition anymore that we feel like it's too stressful and it's too much of a burden. And there's not much return on it for us or for maybe other people in our family. But you'd be surprised when, you know, I've talked to my family in the past. Like, what if we did instead of buying gifts for every single person in our family, what if we just did like everyone picked one person and then we simplified it? And then we're not spending as much money. And I was like things like that can feel really uncomfortable for people.

be surprised how many of your other family members are also thinking the same thing, but like don't want to say anything. And anytime I've had a student or myself experiences, it's always like, oh, thank goodness you said that because I've been thinking this for years. And so another, so just start the conversation now, you know, and if it's not for this year, maybe it's for an upcoming birthday. Maybe you want to shift how you do birthdays, right? And the onslaught of gifts tends to overwhelm you or your kids or your space. Start having these conversations now with your family, if they're part of the problem and solution, and you'd be surprised where it takes you. Also, from a tradition perspective, I have come to realize, like, we all have different seasons in life with our

kids, ages and, you know, work schedules and all these different things. So if you're heading into the holiday season and you typically bake and make like gingerbread houses from scratch, and you're like, oh, I got to get the dough. I got to get the ingredients. It's going to take me eight hours. I got to do all these things. I got to travel with it. Maybe you just buy a pre-made kit and like be done with it. You know, give yourself permission to not have it look the same because you're still extracting a very similar experience through it all. Like the outcome is like a pretty gingerbread house and like the experience of putting it together. But you've simplified it in a way that feels more aligned and less stressful. And so these little tweaks we can make to our existing traditions,

We don't need to declutter them altogether. But I think, again, it's the curiosity piece. Like, what last year, what every holiday season stresses me out the most and go, well, okay, let's think outside the box. How can we shift that? Do we need to declutter it? Do we need to put a boundary on, you know, like a budget on things where that hasn't been in place before? Do we need to simplify it and tweak it? And really that, those pieces in of itself can make the biggest difference.

really they truly can and when you're like the holidays are so stressful I get it like yes the activities maybe for you it means like not doing one of the activities or not you know taking your kids on a four hour car ride to see Christmas lights maybe you go to a closer town where their Christmas lights might not be as amazing but they're still it's good enough you know um that like things like that can be really fruitful yeah I did the exact thing that you said last year so Every year I bake Christmas cookies from scratch and it's a whole thing and there's flour everywhere and then we're using the cookie cutters and then we're baking them and then we decorate them. This is like a half a day thing and I used to love it and my kids look forward to it every year.

And last year I felt myself like really dreading it and procrastinating it like, oh, I know I got to do this for my kids. I was at the store and I saw all these sugar cookies already cooked and I just bought a bunch of them, brought them back and we decorated. pre-made cookies. My kids did not care. They were having a great, it's the decorating they like. They like icing and the sprinkles on it. They didn't care about the baking part. It was the baking part that was this big time-consuming, big mess having to clean up. It was like a whole thing. My goodness was this eye-opening for me because we have the exact same tradition of decorating cookies, but I took out the work aspect and the hard aspect for me. And maybe this year, if I feel like I can, I'll bake from scratch, right? But when I don't, I can still keep up the tradition and just take a little

shortcut. This is so true. And I think, too, like, again, like the purpose of a tradition is for, you know, to have more of that love. It's the experience. It's the connection. Again, it's like the byproduct of the tradition that we love. And for your kids, it's, you're like, oh, it's actually not all of it. It's just the fun part. But to also use that, like, what are you looking to gain? Just like when we buy something, what are you looking for in a tradition that could make your holiday season, number one, less stressful, but number two, more meaningful. And I've been, and I have experiences too where it's like you get through the holiday season, it's chaotic.

And then you're like, more overwhelmed than ever. And you're like, I didn't even get to be present or enjoy it because I was busy baking or busy cleaning up and all these things. So perhaps incorporating some really simple traditions could be really, really beautiful for you and your family this year. Maybe instead of going out to the movies and, you know, buying movie tickets for your 10 family members, you save all that money and like do a living room fort. And like my kids bring all their blankets down from their bedrooms. And I'm telling you, they are more excited for this than like Christmas Day because it's like movie night in the living room. We turn it into a fort and it's like we put up Christmas lights and then we like top on like a. Christmas story on Netflix, you know? And it's that. That is what we're trying to tap into. So

not only look for ways to simplify and kind of declutter the stress, but it's these small moments that these traditions are made of that are really beautiful. So again, it doesn't have to be this big, expensive tradition. So look for more ways to add more of that joyfulness in. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Years ago, I used to make like a big Christmas dinner with turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing. And I just couldn't do it one year. And I was like, you know what? We're going to have smorgasborg for dinner. And this literally was like, don't judge me. Okay. It was like frozen chicken nuggets and matzah sticks. And I cut up like cheese and crackers and some fruit. And then I just put that out. And we just kind of nibbled and watched movies instead

of having this big Christmas dinner. Let me tell you, every year since my kids are like, I can't wait for smorgasbord. Dinner. at Christmas, like that somehow became our tradition. This is stuff we just, it's like we eat for like a lunch sometimes for no big deal. But for some reason, like giving it a name, making it feel special, now created this like beautiful tradition that my kids look forward to. If you were to ask them, do you want like turkey or even Chinese food or pizza or smorgasbord dinner? My kids are like, smorgasbord. It's literally frozen chicken nuggets. This is so awesome.

Yes, giving it a name. You did all the right things. And I think, again, it's like we do fear being judged. Like, well, if I don't make this big dinner, what's my family going to think of me? What am I going to post on Instagram? This smorgasbord, you know, like we have all these thoughts that like can really get in the way of us creating these beautiful, simplified traditions that. I mean, like you said, this is going to be a tradition like your kids, you know, if they have families of their own, that they will probably do. That's beautiful.

Yeah, it's awesome. Okay, well, thank you so much. I just want to throw out two other traditions you talked about that I think I'm 100% incorporating this year. The first you said seasonal soup Sunday. Yes. Oh, we're so good. Sunday, you just have a different seasonal soup. Here's why I love this. This is what we call those baked in traditions. So it's, it gets rid of that decision fatigue of, well, what am I going to have for dinner? Every Sunday, it's, soup. And it could be a different soup. It could be, it could be just like, open up a can. It's fine of chicken noodle soup on those days that you're stressed. But every Sunday is soup. I love this so much. Listen, Katie, this is so good having a baked in tradition like this. And again, it feels special. Yes. It feels special. And I also want to encourage you, if you are into this, if you do it this holiday season, maybe you keep it up all winter, you know? And I think, like sometimes we think traditions are just for birthdays or special occasions, but like Friday night

pizza nights have become like a tradition in our home. And again, it's, it's special. It has a name. The kids love it. It reduces decision fatigue. I know I'm not cooking Friday nights. And that's really how it came to be. I wanted to simplify just like your smorgasbord. I was like, I'm overwhelmed. I'm not cooking Fridays. And it became a beautiful tradition. So perhaps you, you know, use these in other parts of the year. And, you know, I think for a lot of people, too, how many of us have these like family recipes or soup recipes, whatever? We found on Pinterest we've been meaning to to use or cook or bake or whatever. And it gives us, you know, like we're actually using the thing. And if it's, you know, family recipe becomes even more sweeter that, that tradition. So I think, like you said,

there's so many benefits to it. Oh my gosh. So good. Seasonal soup Sunday. It's a new tradition in this house, I can tell you that. The other thing that you said that I want to 100% adapt is gratitude garland. So we have garland in our dining room and you said, you know, at dinner time, people just write down on a piece of paper or you do that chain, that garland chain of something you're really grateful for and continually add it to the garland. And at the end, you have all these beautiful little messages of joy and gratitude from your family. And I thought that was so beautiful. I immediately started like looking for cue cards that I could cut up that I could put upstairs in a jar in our dining room. So after dinner, we can all write just something we're grateful for and add it to the

garland. So beautiful. What a free, easy tradition that people can start incorporating that I can see, again, my kids could pass this down to their children. And so thank you for that. That was an amazing tradition that you, that you've been. mention that I'm like, yep, adding that one to the list because it's easy. And it's like, it's not this big stressful thing. It's easy. It's fun. And I think it tees us up and puts us in the right mindset for the holiday season, right? Because it's easy to focus on all the things we don't have, all the things we want, all the things sitting on our wish list. So I've seen a, again, a big change in my heart and my kids' hearts heading into the holiday season by this one simple thing. And usually

at night, we, you know, before bedtime, it's what are we grateful for? But to write it down and for it to turn into like holiday decor, you know, a little chain link garland. I consider that holiday decor. You know, you can do holiday colors. And to see it and for it to be really tangible and for us to read them all together as an additional experience to actually crafting it has become so heartwarming. And it's just like the ui-go-y feelings that traditions give us, this has definitely been one of the most profound. So I'm glad that resonated. A tradition that I started years ago that it's a core in our family now that I definitely

recommend is we would gather like a couple of weeks before Christmas. My kids would pick out one or two toys to share to gift to someone. We would be dropping them off at goodwill but listen, we made it out to be a thing that it's like Christmas is coming and there's lots of boys and girls that don't have a lot. What can you give to a another little boy or girl and we went to the dollar store and I got these like Santa sacks and my kids would like run around and fill the Santa Sack with their old toys. So it was

started out as I just wanted to declutter because I knew we were having new toys from grandparents and aunts and uncles coming in. But it became so much more than that where my kids were like excited to give to other people. So they would fill these Santa Sacks and then we would drop the Santa Sacks off you know, to the thrift store. But in their mind, they're giving to other little boys and girls. And they still do that to this day. I have an 18 year old and a 16 year old and a 12 year old. And I'll be like, okay, it's your gifting bag. Time to like fill your Santa sack. And they'll go through and they'll be like, oh, this shirt doesn't, I don't love it. But it's so nice. Someone will love this. And they'll donate like, you know, a Lulu lemon thing or something that they're just not using. But they're like,

this is so good. Someone else will love this. And it really turned decluttering. into gifting, which I think helped shift my kids' mindset about letting go. And the end result is we had less stuff in our home too. So beautiful tradition that I started just out of necessity years ago that has really transformed into something very, very special. That's a beautiful way to onboard your kids, you know, for the generosity piece, you know, and they're going to be doing that. Decluttering isn't just for the holidays, right? They do this all year round. But again, that perspective shift, like looking at decluttering with a new lens, like, who could I bless with these items? Because they're certainly not serving me anymore. You know, it makes it feel more,

it brings a humanity piece into it. I always tell my students, I get more of a dopamine hit when I am, you know, giving through my local buy nothing group and I have a mom on my doorstep and I'm handing our old kids clothes. Then I do get an a cute pair of boots online, you know, like this is what it's about. And what a cool thing to instill in our kids. It's beautiful. Well, thank you so much. I'm so excited to introduce your new traditions. And I'm going to put a link to that podcast down below because it was just filled with so much wisdom about simplifying for the holidays. And I'm going to put a link to your website and everything else. But let my listeners know how they can learn from you more, find out, and follow you and become part of your

amazing community. Oh, you're too sweet. Well, come hang out on the show. I publish episodes every Wednesday. It's called The Maximized Minimalist. And my social media platform of choice is Instagram. So I like hanging out on there. If you're on Instagram, follow me or you can check out my website, katiejoywolds.com. Thank you so much. And thank you everyone listening. I hope you're feeling inspired to let go, but also really look inwards at yourself to your why, to that deeper meaning of why am I struggling to let go, but also why am I bringing stuff in? And is there a certain category that's fulfilling a certain need that I have? Really good message today. Thank you for listening, everyone, and thank you for joining us, Katie. We'll see you guys next time.