Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast - Tidy Up Your Life with Tidy Dad | Clutterbug Podcast # 253

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

In this episode, I’m joined by Tyler Moore (Tidy Dad), a dad, teacher, and influencer known for his practical tips on keeping life organized. Tyler wears many hats—father, husband, teacher, and creator—all while maintaining a clean and tidy home. How does he manage it all? Tyler opens up about his journey, sharing the habits and systems that help him balance a full-time teaching job, a thriving social media presence, and quality time with his family and friends. He also gives us a sneak peek into his upcoming book, "Tidy Up Your Life", packed with simple tips to help anyone stay organized and create more time for what matters most. If you’ve ever wondered how to find balance in a busy life, this episode is full of relatable insights and practical advice to inspire your own journey. Learn more about Tidy Dad here: https://thetidydad.com/ Pre-order Tidy Dad's Book Here: https://thetidydad.com/preorder Follow Tidy Dad on Social Media:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tidydad Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tidydad/   You can find more Clutterbug content here: Website: http://www.clutterbug.me YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clutterbug TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/   #clutterbug #podcast #organizedlife #balancedlife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you are dealing with a crazy messy house and you have to radically declutter or you just want to get more organized because you want life to be easier, it doesn't matter where you're starting from. It can be hard. It can be hard to know where to begin and it can be really hard to stay motivated, which is why I love having people to continually inspire me who have been there, who've done the hard stuff and learned the tips and the tricks. to make it easier. And today, I am interviewing the incredible tidy dad. Tyler is a dad who also works full time as a teacher. He is three young children and he lives in a tiny apartment in New York. He got to his breaking point and he found a way out and he's going to share all of his tidy dad wisdom with us right now. There's nothing like water bottle stress. There's nothing like kids losing stuff that just it's like one of those like universal equalizers like regardless of how old your kids are where you live you experience it i love this i mean i feel like we didn't even say hi to each other

we just jumped right into water bottle stress the struggle is real okay and you're telling me that it doesn't necessarily get better but it no my teens are even more obsessed than ever and it's like if they don't have the particular one that they like it's like a nightmare but for some reason I'm still keeping the old ones just in case, even though nobody, what is happening? I know. Well, it's funny because my wife's parents, they were in an RV and they've just moved into their house because they've retired. And my sister-in-law went over and she looked at her son and my mother-in-law was like, look, I got out your little like plastic sippy cup from when you were a baby in the 1980s. And like your son is using it now. Isn't that cute? And my sister-in-law was like, mom, I think that it's not good at

anymore. Like, I think that the regulations have changed. And she was like, what do you mean the regulations has changed? And then she, like, showed her mom, like, some of the research that sort of changed on, like, goods from the 80s versus today. And then she went over the next time. And my mother-in-law was like, Audrey, I got rid of the cup. I thought you'd be proud of me. And she was like, thank you, mom. If you didn't get rid of it, like, I was going to take it. So, you know, you just- Thinking about that. I wasn't even thinking about, like, how plastics are produced. I was thinking, why did you hold on to that cup from the 80s? That was my first thought. I know. I know. No babies for like 20 something years. Yes. Probably longer. Yeah. And like they have moved

multiple times. You're talking about moving multiple states. And so it is interesting that question of like, what do we hold on to and why? But also I understand like, you know, it does represent something to my mother-in-law. Like that little cup, like when she sees it, it takes her back, obviously, to my wife and her sister, like, being babies. But there are also other things that could also represent that phase of life as well. And this, this is the thing I see when I'm helping clients. I'm always like, if everything is special, then nothing is special. Yeah. It's like everything reminds you, so your house is just filled to the brim with specialness. And therefore, nothing feels, really special. Yeah, and we've gone through that a lot. I mean, we live in a 750 square foot

New York City apartment. Our families live in Indiana and in Kentucky, and obviously their square footage is much more ample than it is here. And so we've gone through that when we've, you know, when my parents have asked us to go through like childhood items or like when I go over to my grandma's house and she's like beginning that process of like giving things away, you know, sort of Allah that like Swedish art of death cleaning where you start to like give stuff away. And I've had to say like, but grandma, like you gave me a lamp and I love that lamp and it's in my bedroom like it's on my nightstand. I don't need anything else because I just don't have space for it.

And so to explain that idea of like one object counting for many, I feel like that has been an important philosophy for us because like when I see that special lamp that she gave me like I can go back to the moment in time like I was there with her when she was like dickering at the antique flea market trying to get the retailer to come down 10% and she was like see you always go for 10% and if you don't get the 10% then you'll walk away and then you come back and then you walk away and like that's what the lamp signifies for me it's like that memory it's that moment that we shared together but I don't need all of her china or all of her special vases or I just can't take the quantity, but yet I do want that like special thing that triggers the memory.

And so that is something that we've really had to navigate, you know, because we're in such a small space and even with our own daughters and, you know, as they've outgrown things, it's like we can't hold on to everything, nor should we. Because when we use our things, things and then steward them to the people who can use them next. Like they can still get life out of them now as opposed to 30 years from now when either regulations are changed or whatever it may be. Like just get it to the people who need it now.

And so I feel like that's been something we've really had to sort of embrace. Yeah. I love that we just jumped right into this. I didn't even introduce you or anything or say hi. I know. How's it going? And you know why? Because we're both so passionate. I'm like fired up about decluttering on a daily basis. And it's it's odd, but I think, and I can feel your passion too. And I wonder if it's because you like me used to struggle with mess. Is that, yeah, is this your like hero origin story? Yeah, it is. And it's funny because like my tidy dad story really started about seven years ago. I was in the midst. of a really messy time in my professional life, I was pursuing, you know, that straight line trajectory

to success, whatever success is. I took on more positional power, more responsibility. But we had also upsized the number of people that lived in our home, that at the time we had two little girls, one was two, one was four months old. And so that just puts an inherent sort of strain and sort of mess on life because when we had one kid, you know, I'm a teacher, my wife is an occupational therapist. When we had that one kid, we were like, we have got this figured out. I mean, sleep is awful, but we were like, these other things, like we know what to do. And then there's nothing like the addition of the second kid that just sort of, I mean, just the exhaustion compounds, sort of the decisions you're making compounds, the stuff that you're managing compounds. And when you're

also thinking about, in my case, being in my early 30s, trying to, from a career standpoint, really carve out this path for myself that was deemed as successful. It just made this huge sort of mental and emotional mess that then I ultimately decided that I needed to take leave from my job because my mental health was suffering so much that, you know, I just, it was like I couldn't see up from down or left from right. And I was like, I have to press pause. But then two days into my mental health leave, I told my wife over breakfast,

like, I think that we should switch bedrooms with the girls. Let's give them the bigger bedroom. We're going to take the smaller bedroom. And she was like, it's a great idea. Let's not do it today. So I waited an hour or two. She left with her sister to take the girls out of our apartment. And I thought, if I can just show her how great this is going to be,

she's going to be convinced. So then I started moving everything. The room seemed to just sort of like explode or implode or like throw up. Like it was like everything was emptied everywhere. The furniture didn't fit. The bed was half assembled, decimpled, I should say. And then I heard the click of the door. And she walked in and my face immediately, you know, all the color drained out of my face.

And she was like, what did you just do? And so that mess, as I like to say, it was sort of like a catalyst for this deeper tidying work that we took on. And sometimes you reach that point where you're like, I am forced to do something about this now. Like everything was everywhere. She was like, I believe in your vision. But like now we actually have to do something about it. we actually have to spend the next, in our case, it was several months of like sorting through and determining what are we going to do about this mess? Because underlying that mess really was this

question of can we make life in New York City sustainable for our family? Is this the place where we want to live? Can we steward this 750 square foot in such a way that our family is going to be able to thrive here or does it mean that we have to give up this life that we really enjoy and love. And so oftentimes, you know, and even I know from your experience, it's like underlying that physical mess is that mental and emotional mess that you're often unpacking at the exact same time as you're sorting through all that stuff that you find. But if you can allow yourself to sit with the mess, if you can sit with those really uncomfortable feelings, if you can sit with the embarrassment and sit with the questioning of,

how did I allow this to happen, you can then begin to carve out that path forward where you change some of your habits or you question, why did I do the things that I did? Why was I motivated to purchase this or bring this in. What did this reveal about me? I just feel like through the mess, if you can sit with it, there's so much richness of being able to learn something about yourself that then helps to guide how you decide to move forward as you're sorting through everything. Yeah. And I love your origin story. I just want to say, I probably don't recommend just everyone dumping out all their stuff from all their rooms and closets and everything into a big old pile because you're shifting. But it did force you. It was like, well, now I got a deal with this.

Yeah. I do think that we can mentally get there, though. That's what happened to me. I was like, I can't do this anymore. I was just crying every day. And I didn't even know it was about the mess. It was just like I couldn't do life. I couldn't handle. I couldn't have all the balls in the air. I felt like I was dropping so many things. What I could control one day, I just picked up a trash bag and I was like, things are leaving. And it was emotional and it was hard.

But also like it felt like the right thing to do. And with every bag and box that left, the next day I felt a little lighter and my life was little less hectic. Did you feel the same thing? Like it's not an overnight thing. It takes a while. Yeah. But you can feel it. Yeah, you can. And, you know, I feel like as we made next this sort of like organizational plan for what to do with the stuff, you then start to get these small wins that just like lift your spirits. And so like one, when we were shifting bedrooms with the girls, I had this really large wardrobe that would just not fit in the smaller bedroom. And we had two choices. Either it could obstruct the walkway because we're in a railroad style apartment, which essentially means that every

single bedroom and every single room is a glorified hallway because it connects from one to the next to the next. And so it's strange because like the smaller bedroom is actually a hallway to the larger bedroom. We have two entryway doors. Plus we're in a 1914 building. And so you have strange like radiator poles that you have to work around. So the wardrobe could either obstruct the path or it could completely block the window. And when you start to think that stuff is getting in the way of us actually being able to walk through a room or being able to have sunlight pour into the space, you start to really question the value that you've placed on things. And so I knew that if this bedroom switch was going to be successful, I had to reduce.

and edit my wardrobe so that I could get it down to the little closet that's in the corner of the bedroom that is 14 inches wide by seven feet tall. And I was like, if I can get all my clothing to work and fit in there, we can get rid of that wardrobe. The path will not be obstructed. The light will be able to shine through. And this plan just might work. And so that was the first sort of project that made me feel like we can do this, that it gave me the confidence to then take on the more difficult categories of items because clothing for me was probably the simplest

because I knew what I liked to wear. I knew the colors, the fabrics, the fit that I liked. And I was able to eliminate the excess and move it out without needing the counsel of anyone else. Like I didn't have to negotiate with my wife or with my young daughters at the time, like what stays or what goes. I was completely in charge of that. And so it was really liberating to sort of figure out that organizational puzzle of the closet and then apply that, you know,

those same principles to other more complex areas of our home and then ultimately to my life. Oh, I love that. Let me just say your closet, that's microcloset. That's tiny. That's teeny, friend. That's the teeniest, tiniest. And if you can do that, I know. I know. for a fact that there are a lot of people listening who probably have a full closet stuffed to the brim for their clothes. And what's very common are spare bedroom closets that are filled with clothing. And yet they're craving more space in their home. Their living spaces are filled in their kitchen counters with things. And I know, I know this because this was me. I have no place to put this. And yet I'm storing clothing that's never worn in a very valuable closet. So I love that. Is that where you would

suggest people start if they're looking at letting go is with clothing? I think that it's a category of items that on the one hand, it is something that can be very emotional because there's so many there's so many things that clothing represents for us. But why I think it's helpful is I often get asked like, what if I don't have a partner who's on board with decluttering? Or what if I have all of these kids and it just feels so overwhelming to let go through their stuff? Then I think that this is a time where I don't want to use the word selfish, but like you have to think about yourself first. And I do think that having an organized closet, knowing where your things are,

feeling like you have just enough, it's then something that can really lift your spirits and then transfer over. into other categories or areas of your life. And it can be helpful with the people you share with to, you know, just share your reflections. Like it's your stuff that you've chosen to get rid of. You're not negotiating. You're not getting rid of someone else's stuff. And you can say, you know what? I cleared my closet.

I sorted things. I assessed what I wanted to keep. And then I made a plan for what I was going to keep. And it feels so much better. Sometimes that can be really in. encouraging to others. And if it's not encouraging, at least you know where your stuff is. You're going to be able to get ready faster in the morning. When you want to go for that jog or run or go do yoga, you know where exactly your things are as opposed to needing to mine through the piles

of all of these things that then actually get in the way of what you actually want to be doing with your life. And I know that that, I don't want it to sound simplistic, but I don't want it to sound simplistic, But I do think that there is power in starting with a category like that because you are in charge. No one else is saying, you know what? You really should have been wearing that red shirt today. And if they do, you can say, you know, I get to choose what I want to wear. Leave me alone. But like, I do think that there's power in starting with clothing first.

It teaches you a lot. I love this so much because that's where actually I started. And this is what I recommend if I'm working with clients. I'm like start in your bedroom because this is also the place where we neglect the most. Like maybe companies coming over and what do we do? We take all the crap and we just shove it and hide it in our bedroom because they're not going to see there. And it just adds and accumulates. And it is this sort of way of putting ourselves last.

Yeah. And it's almost disrespectful. But the magical thing that happened when I started in my bedroom and when other people's, especially your clothing in your closet, every morning. that's the first place we kind of go to get dressed. And then we're like proud of ourselves. Yeah. We're like, look, this is easier. This feels good. Oh, I'm saving time. Like, oh, and that kind of sets the tone for the whole day going forward. We're reminded of the benefits of decluttering every morning

immediately when we wake up, which means it's easier now to kind of go to the next place. And for me, the next place was the bathroom, my bathroom products. because again my stuff, my space, and also kind of the first thing in the morning, I got to see the benefits, which was that catalyst, because it's hard, it's hard to get motivated, man. Yeah, it is. And like, in terms of the bathroom, like, that's another area of the room, the area of your home that just, it needs to work efficiently for you. We have one bedroom, we have one bathroom in our really tiny New York City apartment, which means that, you know, as a teacher, my daughters are also at the same school where I teach. And so all four of us are getting out the door at the

exact same time, which means that in any sort of iteration, either all four of us are in the bathroom at the same time or there are different pairs of people. And people need to know where their stuff is. There need to be these organization systems so that my daughters aren't saying, where's my toothbrush? Where's my deodorant? Did you use my brush again? And it's like when people know where their things are, it then helps with those rhythms that you want to establish. And it's really when you have this cyclical sort of like nature or this like domino effect that takes place, that it's like when you know where your things are, when there's an organizational home, you're able to return those things back to their organizational home when you're finished, which also helps to ensure

that the next time you need something, you know exactly where to go, which hopefully then helps you get out the door that much faster in the morning when you're trying to get to work or to get to school or wherever you need to go. You said you were a teacher. That shocks me because you're tidy dad. I don't know if you know that, but are you, do you tell them a day job, man? I do. I do.

I am, you know, I'm one of those like unicorns, I guess. Not really. But I do feel like, you know, I've tidy dead by morning, tidy dead by evening. tidy dad by evening, but then also my day-to-day life. I mean, I've been a teacher for 17 years. And so it just gives me a perspective on space and how you allocate square footage and also what it's like to try to get 32 very different children, you know, from I've taught as low as third grade, which is eight, all the way up to seventh grade, which is 12 and 13. How do How do you navigate kids and give them agency and ownership over their space and instilling

them the responsibility of knowing where their stuff is and how to turn things in? I just feel like, you know, as a teacher, I live and breathe routines all day long. And oftentimes I'm tasked with equipping my students with those skills, which I do feel like are lifelong skills of being able to know where your stuff is when you need it, I think is really important. But I think for listeners and then also, you know, for readers of my book, tidy up your life, I want them to know that I'm in the thick of it along with them. You know, I am, I have a full-time job where I am teaching this year fifth grade students at a public school that is six blocks from our apartment in New York City. I know what it's like, you know,

to have those, you know, sort of like, I'm not saying fights, but you know, when you've had those mornings where you feel like you're on the struggle bus and everybody is just struggling to get out the door. But then I see my principal and know that I have to pull it together because it is my responsibility to instruct those kids. And then I go, I walk my daughter's home and go, and go, through the homework routine, the dinner bath, bed routine and know what it's like to be completely exhausted and not feel like I have time and space to just feel like a human. So I do feel like as tidy dad, I think that's often reassuring to people because so many of my followers and I know of your listeners and even people that will hopefully read my book, that they're all

in the thick of it. You know, they're balancing work and family and relationships, caring for aging adults, navigating what it's like when your kids leave home. And you're now left with, you know, these questions and these wanderings that I've been through it and I hope that I can offer a perspective that people can also relate to and see themselves in. Because so often, you know, we can be mirrors of one another. And sometimes it's just nice to come across somebody who you feel like gets it and knows exactly like what they're going through. I just, I'm in awe because you create a lot of content and it's great and you just wrote a book and you have three kids and you have a full time job. And I feel like that is such a

testament to your, you've simplified and streamlined and organized your life or there would be no freaking heck in way that you would ever be able to do all that. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And it relates to, you know, a chapter in the book, chapter five is called Stop Doing All the Work. And the reason why I called it that was because to the average reader, you know, seeing a title like that is very provocative because people are like, great, you know,

in this like self-help sort of book, you're just telling me to stop doing all the work. Great. Thank you so much for that advice. But as the chapter unfolds, we have found especially in really intense seasons that stop doing all the work can really look like sharing responsibilities. It can look like outsourcing responsibilities or just eliminating the work altogether. And I do feel like in this season of our lives, you know, as I was writing the book, there were some certain things that I needed to do. So like sharing responsibilities that looked like, you know, involving our goals. girls in the process of laundry. We aren't privileged to have an in-unit washing machine or a dryer,

which means that I have to take all of the clothing, or my wife does, and we walk down our three flights of stairs, we go down our New York City sidewalk, we cross the street, we go to the laundromat, and we wash it. But it also means that we can wash all of the clothing for the week at one time, because they're all those individual washers. But then it means that we share responsibilities when we get back and we've taught the girls how to sort their clothing, how to fold their items, what it looks like for us to help one another because it's so much easier for five people to fold the laundry than it is for one person to be responsible. Outsourcing the work. Something that brings me a lot of joy are my houseplants. And it's really nice to have my houseplants to take care of. And I have this little

app in my phone that it costs like $20 a year. And I put in all the locations. And I put in all the of my plants, where they are in the house, and it just tells me when to water them. And like that, when I get the little notification, I'm like, thank you for telling me to go water my plants. That's one less thing for me to worry about, but yet I still get to enjoy the house plants. The idea of eliminating work. You know, one of the stories that I talk about in the book is about how when I was a kid, my parents divorced. So when I was in eighth grade, I went from having one home to now having two homes. We had mom's house. We had dad's house. And, you know, I was fortunate that I was, I feel like I was a really lucky divorced kid because I had two parents that loved me. They co-parented

incredibly well together. We had two homes that we were able to navigate back and forth. But the thing that I really didn't like was that it was double the yard work that my mom expected us to help with the yard work and my dad expected us to help with the yard work. So what did I do when I became an adult? I moved to New York city where I don't have a yard. I don't have to take care of it. And so the work, you know, yard work right now is not a stressor. And so, you know, we all have seasons, you know, whether you're writing a book, whether you've just gotten a promotion, whether you have a new baby at home, whether you're now caring for an aging parent. We have those times in our lives where the work seems to exceed our capacity of what we're able to handle. And so sometimes just thinking about that like,

stop doing the work, meaning can I share responsibilities? Can I just outsource those responsibilities and think of something that can step in and help? Or what can I do to eliminate responsibilities? Like, that is something that can be really powerful that also relates to this idea of decluttering. It's like you're sort of decluttering responsibilities at the same time, similar to how you would physical possessions. And I think decluttering physical possessions also eliminate. some of the work. Yeah. Like that's what I found in my own life. I spent a lot of time managing the mess and I didn't even realize it. So when I had a bunch of kids toys, I'd have to spend, you know, a half an hour at the end of the night picking them all up and putting things away and there was so

much dishes and laundry and I was stuff shuffling all the time because we needed to use the table, but I had to clear it off first. And I didn't even realize how much all those minutes of managing mess added up to hours of my day. And when I decluttered and got organized and got systems that were like things still got messy, but it was really easy to tidy up and really fast. I gained hours back in my life that allowed me to find room to do things. And I'm wondering if you experienced the same thing. Like now your ability to write a book, which congratulations, that's amazing. Thanks. Did you gain some time in your life back because you let go of some of the physical things. Yeah. And something that I write about in the

book is this idea of always tidied versus easily tidied. And I think that you would agree that it's like, there's so often these misconceptions that like, oh, as tidied dad or as clutterbug, you just, you just never ever have live in a space that is messy. And I think that that's just not the reality. But that idea of easily tidied is, can you set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes and, like you're realistically able to reset a space. I often say it's like back to factory settings where you're then able to feel like everything is put away and you're able to move on with your day.

And I think that, you know, what's important to us as a family is that we've made space for like adventures on the weekend. I want to be able to carve out time to spend with my wife and with my daughters. I want to be able to spend time, like in the early morning time, feeling like I'm inspired to get up early. I always clean one area of the house each weekday, but to have time to, like, read my book

or feel like I want to, like, write and jot in my writer's notebook. You know, I feel like life, there's so much beauty to be found in the mess that sometimes surround us. Life is a beautiful mess. There are always these competing priorities, but I do feel like the principles of tidying really help you to narrow down what's most important or what matters. most to you. And then you think about how do you make space for that? Like if you enjoy running, it's sort of being ruthless of like what's getting in the way of running. And like for me right now, running is something that I love. I always take one of my daughter, my youngest daughter with me. I've had all three of them in the running stroller at one form or another. But that also meant that I

needed to make space to have the running stroller. It's stored in our trunk of our car down on the New York City sidewalk. But if my trunk were cluttered or littered with all of these things, then I wouldn't have the running stroller, which meant that it would maybe be more of a hardship for me to actually be able to get out the door to run. And I wouldn't have that connection time with my daughters who love getting in the running stroller and going along with me. So I do feel like it's so closely connected to what you were talking about. Yeah. And I can't tell you how many families I've gone in and helped that had whole rooms dedicated to storage in their house and were craving a spare bedroom

for the grandkids to come over and spend the night or would love to craft and have a craft room or a private office or you know a workout room where they could do yoga or meditate and yet it's filled with stuff yeah and i feel like one of the questions from the book you know there are lots of different questions that you know decluttering experts or organizers have sort of said that's somewhat of a catchphrase, but I feel like from the book, one of the things that's sort of resonating is this idea of are you planning for some sort of like hypothetical doomsday scenario? And I feel like what you think about that, like even going to your, you know, what you were describing just there of that spare bedroom, that it's like, what is in that spare bedroom that is

so important to you, but yet not important enough to actually be in the room where you would use it, that you're holding on to it for the hypothetical someday that you might need it. But what it's actually getting in the way of is the someday now for when your grandkids want to come over and spend time with you or spend the night, but yet you don't actually have a space for them, which means that what you actually do is like just, you know, either not invite them over to spend the night or you feel like you're always just going to your kids' house to see the grandkids.

It just fuels this, I don't know, this sort of cycle. But yet when you stop to ask yourself like, what doomsday scenario does it seem like I am planning for? And then the reverse of that is like, okay, if I got rid of all of this stuff, what would actually happen if I experienced that doomsday scenario and I needed something? And oftentimes it's I could borrow something from a friend. I could go to the store if I really need to get that. I could go without that item. Like there are options. And so I do think, I don't know, it is, you know, it's not the best sort of question to think about in terms of anxiety that it may produce. But like, really, what doomsday scenario are you hypothetically planning for? Yeah. I love this so much because there is that you hit it so out of the park. You hit the nail on the head. This is what I hear over and over again. There's this fear of, I don't know if it's a zombie.

Apocalypse. It's something. Okay. But just in case I better what if. But if you walk that down the line, well, what's the worst thing that could happen? Nine times out of 10, it's, oh, I would just use something else I already have, which is very similar to this thing. So the scrap pieces of fabric, the extra, I don't know. There's just lamps for some. There's so much crazy pants stuff that isn't really serving any purpose. But there is this fear. And I think we do have to acknowledge that. that it's a very scary time. Yeah. And sometimes the media just, I don't want to get into whatever, but it does feel sometimes like a little bit scary. And then we get stuck on this, well, I'd better just in case because the future is so unknown. And I think I love that you're reminding people to focus on the today. Like, what are you missing out on today because you're so worried about the what-ifs tomorrow. Yeah, and, you know, we all deal with certain things, obviously what you're talking about. Like, yeah, the world can feel like a scary place, but it's when home is so incredibly important because home is, it should be our sanctuary, it should be

our quiet place away from the busyness or the insanity that we feel like sometimes surrounds us. I mean, we live in New York City, the largest city in the United States. When I walk out onto the sidewalk, there's really no telling what I will see at any given point in time. But yet when I walk back into our home, I want it to feel like a space where I can just take that deep breath, but also be reminded of the things that are really important. And when you're talking about the spare bedroom, you know, so often it's sentimental items that are so easy to accumulate because it's really, really tricky for people to go through things where they've attached so many memories. But my philosophy on it is, is that I don't want things to just sit in a box.

If the next time that I'm going to look at that thing is when I'm going through that box again to figure out what do I want to keep, what do I want to get it rid of, then how is it actually serving me, you know, in my current sort of like state. And so what we tried to do when we were decluttering our apartment was put different things strategically around our apartment that would trigger thoughts or memories. And in this, in the book, I have this chapter that's titled Sir Thrival, which is this idea of there are those intense period of times where you're trying to survive, but you're also trying to thrive at the same time. You're trying to find some of that joy and just beauty in the midst of the mess.

And it's this idea of joy plotting where when I was having a really difficult time in my professional life, you know, I tried the strategy of joy plotting, which was, could I anticipate throughout my week the like moments of joy that I might experience, that it's like knowing that like on Thursday is my best like prep schedule at school because I have first period prep and last period prep or knowing that like on Friday afternoon, my daughters and I have Foody Friday where we would choose a treat as we were walking home from school. But you can apply a similar like joy plotting principle to your home because you leave little things around for yourself to signal or trigger those memories like the back of a cabinet door. Like we've put our daughter's artwork on the back of the

cabinet door because whenever we open it up to get the spices, like I see her little hand print from when she was in nursery school and she spelled out like mom and dad. Like that's beautiful. I have my old, I used to run a lot of like marathons and half marathons and I folded up some of my medals and I put them in between my socks and my sock drawer. Because when I get to the end of the socks, like I see that little metal there and I'm like, oh, that actually, you know, it just triggers that feeling inside. And when you think about sentimental items and how can you strategically sort of put them in different places around your home, it can just help with some of those feelings that you're talking about to feel like, you know what, home represents me and who I am and what I value and the people that I love. And I'm surrounded by things that trigger all of those different feelings. So I think that there's beauty in that strategy.

I think that's so good. And to remember, not. to drown them either under piles of paper and things that aren't important because when everything is all mixed together it just takes away you get clutter blind that's what i call it right when you've got piles everywhere you can't even see the things you love you're not being reminded even though they're in the pile you don't see it it's not giving you the same memories but when you can clear space and just strategically put things that matter yeah your home feels it feels like home doesn't it? Yeah. And I think that the flip side of that, too, is, you know, this emphasis on editing, editing, editing, and removal, removal. And that's not what we're talking about here when we're

talking about tidying because the goal isn't this barren landscape. The goal is, is that you make room in order to flourish. And like going back to the house plant, I follow these houseplants sort of like experts online and on Instagram. And they show from time to time, like the vision. videos that get the most, just sort of like buzz is when they completely like chop off all of the plant. But then they show it like six months later. And they're like, but look, this actually like sparked all of this regrowth and this like new life. And so, you know, sometimes you do need to feel like you're like ruthlessly editing in order to make space for that growth. But the goal isn't just to declutter, declutter, de clutter forever.

The goal is, you know, as I talk about it's chapter two of the book was this idea of, can you establish what is just enough? Like we all have our own personal thresholds for the accumulation of stuff and mess. And we need to come up with that definition that makes sense for us, the people we live with and the stage of life that we're in because the goal is to make space for what matters and you want that life and vitality and making space for that new goal. growth to happen. Yeah, so good. We're not, I don't want to be a minimalist. I feel like I'm a bit of a maximalist a little, a little bit. But my whole goal is like I want my house to make my life

easier. And anytime I have to move something or look for something or shove around, my life isn't easier. I need it to be effortless. So everything from getting dressed to making a tea to sitting down and watching a movie has no friction. It has no barriers in the way for me between here to doing the task that I want to do. That's my personal ultimate goal. And the right organizing systems and not having access is how I achieve that. And it means that things aren't always perfect, but things, it's easy for me to maintain. It feels effortless. And that's what I want for other people because it was so life-changing for my mental health, for my self-confidence, and just the time I gained back. Yeah. And I think that that's why, you know, people have asked me, they're like, how is this different from all of the other organizing books that have been written? Because as we know, there's a whole library, sort of full of books that offer tips and strategies. And I think for me, when I was sitting down to write, tidy up your life is exactly what you were talking about, which is that connection between mental health.

and physical clutter, and how are you able to apply similar strategies that you would use to confront the mess that you might feel with the stuff in your house to the mess that you might feel in your professional life or in your personal relationships or feeling like, oh my gosh, our kids are in sports every night of the week. It's all I do on the weekends. I feel like I am so maxed out and there is nothing. There's no space for anything that I really want to do. And I feel like I'm just being shuffled from one thing to the next to the next. There is such an important distinction between tidying up your mind and tidying up your space, which is how the book is organized. And I do think, you know, you being able to come up with that goal, like what you just mentioned, like your goal

of what tidiness means to you may be different from someone else, but for you to be able to articulate it to yourself, to the people that you live with, and then use that definition or goal to be able to transfer to other aspects of life, I feel like is so important. And like for me, with walking the walk and talking to talk, like the toughest part for me of the whole book writing process was last spring when I had turned in that first draft of the manuscript. I in my head knew where I wanted to get to by the end. But there was this doubt and this questioning of, am I actually going to be able to get it to the finish line. What compounded that was at my school, I had negotiated the previous school year that I could write or that I could teach four days a week and I would have Wednesdays

off for writing. At the same time that I was editing my book, I asked again for that schedule for this school year. They denied my request and said no, that it was either 100% or 0%. And I felt once again that crushing sort of feeling of that internal mess where I was like completely maxed out but I had to step back and I had to remind myself like you have felt this feeling before. You have felt this mess before. You have felt what it's like to see chaos around you and know where you want to go but you aren't sure if you're going to be able to make that path forward. And so I really had to think about how I could take my own advice and think first about how can I tidy up my mind right now. Can I name for myself what's really important?

Can I look for opportunities to declutter? Can I look for opportunities for people to step in and help me and guide me? And what ended up was that I tidied up my life sort of again. You know, with my origin story, I had been a school administrator. I returned to the classroom. This time, it was my youngest daughter's preschool teacher that was like, have you thought about just coming and teaching at our school? It's six blocks from your apartment.

The school day is shorter than the school that you're currently working at. All of the girls could come. This happened in that same sort of month span of time. And I was like, okay, like this is the person stepping in to help me right now. And do I sort of step into this and pursue what this path may be, even though I don't know what the outcome is going to be? And so long story short, you know, I took the job. I'm at a new school this school year, which has presented its own sort of mental and

emotional mess. It's hard to start over. It's hard to step into a new school after you've been at your old school for 13 years and establish yourself in a new place. But I'm also finding that when I lean into the messes of life, instead of just shutting the door and walking away, that there are opportunities for growth and reflection. And that's what I want people to know, or I hope that they know about tidy dad, that like, yes, I'm a dad who enjoys tidying. Yes, I'm a dad who's been on a journey to tidy at my life, but also I'm walking the walk and talking the talk. And life isn't easy. There are messes

that we experience. It is not easy to start over after you've been a teacher for 17 years and walk into a new building and not know anyone and no one knows your story. It's lonely. It's isolating at times. It feels really messy, which is just like sometimes the messes we experience at home. But when you sit with a mess and you try to carve out these incremental steps forward, and you celebrate progress and not perfection, I do think that there's beauty to be found. Oh, I just am so proud of you. Thanks. You're so inspiring, honestly, so inspiring.

I know how much work content creation is. I know how much work writing a book is. And you are an incredible dad, husband, and teacher. So you are really just the epitome of balance, but being honest about the struggle, too, because that's just it. Life's all about the up and down. So thank you so much for being here. Please, I'm going to run and order your book right now. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for having me. I'm ordering your book. Please let my listeners know how they can order your book and how they can follow you. Yeah. So on Instagram, I'm Tidy Dad. I also have a website, thetididdad.com. but I'm also really excited to announce that I'm the author of Tidy Up Your Life. It's available wherever books are sold.

I also encourage you to shop local with your local bookstores. That bookstores are such an important, precious resource. Our local bookstore, which is where you can get signed copies, is where my oldest daughter crawled for the very first time. So I have an emotional attachment just seeing how full circle, you know, life can come. And, you know, it's also important for listeners to know that if you are, if life feels really messy right now, if you feel like you're really struggling and you don't know how to put one step forward in front of the other, that it's really important to talk to someone or to tell someone that you're struggling, that it's okay to admit that things aren't okay. And oftentimes just saying, I really feel like a mess right now can be the first step towards change. but if you need help, talk to someone, because my story is a testament to how you can sort of

come back from the depths of not knowing, am I going to be able to make that step forward? Well, you're inspiring and incredible, and I'm just so honored to have you on the Clutterbug Podcast. Thank you. I'm going to put links to your book and your website and your Instagram in the show notes. So please, everyone listening, go check him out. and definitely support him by ordering a copy of Tidy Up Your Life. Thank you so much, Tydy Up Your Dad.

Thanks for having me. Thank you. And thank you everyone for listening. We'll see you guys next time.