Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 1: Christmas Lists, Flipping The Bird, & Helicopter Mamas

Episode Date: November 16, 2018

Kail & Lindsie brought you a surprise episode! Kail talks about why it looks like a bomb exploded in her office. They talk about Christmas gifts, Kail talks about not being tech savvy & why she's not on the same page w/ Lindsie making lists. They discuss Lincoln flipping people off & why Lindsie thought this was illegal. Lindsie talks about her first click list experience. They discuss helicopter parenting & why Lindsie wants to improve. They talk about how being exposed to things can be beneficial. They talk about negotiating with your kids. They follow up on Kail's child support issues. They talk about why Lindsie has over 200 text messages & more.

Hey guys, welcome to Coffee Combos. This is a bonus release extra surprise episode for all of our listeners and we're excited about it. Super excited. You guys have been asking for an extra episode a month or for us to podcast twice a week. So we decided that since it's the holidays that we were going to deliver and give you guys this so we hope y'all are excited. Yes, we have a ton of stuff to talk about because I feel like every episode we have so many things left on our list of things to podcast about. I know and I feel like we could just like keep talking but it's just like not realistic and I don't think anybody's going to listen to us for two hours ramble on about bullshit. Okay, that's fine. That's fair. Like maybe they would but I'm just saying I mean two hours would be like a long time to talk about all the crazy. I have to admit though honestly I'm struggling just because my office is so disgusting and just cluttered and like I literally just paid someone to clean it out and I feel like what the fuck happened.

It's like a hurricane or tornado went off in here. So I'm like really maybe not going to be able to concentrate. So I have like my fabfitfunbox in front of me which I don't know why still. I've got man crates in front of me because I'm giving them as gifts for the holidays and I have merch and I have just like literally if you saw my desk right now I think you'd be concerned. Actually I might take a picture and post it on the podcast Instagram. Like why is all of that around? I don't understand like I can't focus. I don't even have curtains on my doors so if someone was to walk into my house they would look into through the office doors and they would see what a disgrace I am. Okay well I will say that over the past like two weeks I've been receiving tons of packages just because I've been ordering stuff and just all kinds of stuff and I went to my door yesterday. We were gone from the house for a little bit longer yesterday than normal and when I got home I went to open my door and truly if there would have been a fire it would have been an issue for me to get out.

Because the boxes were stacked higher than I am tall so I couldn't get out and I was struggling like struggling to get everything in and I'm just like this is really when I need Will to work from home. Honestly like I'm really going to send you a picture of this because I don't know. I've been ordering stuff like as it comes to me because my kids really didn't do Christmas lists and like as I'm thinking of people for the holidays I'll like order the gift. And so like sometimes I forget that I even ordered something and then I come home and there's 12 packages there and you're like okay what am I supposed to do with this. Wait so do your kids do Christmas list? You know what they really don't like I kind of just like listen to them throughout. Lincoln's an um can I have that can I get that can I do this for the commercials that come on the TV he's in that phase. Jackson too.

So but I just kind of listen and try to pay attention like I got I went to Disney back in February for that half marathon and I had gotten Isaac this Star Wars like throw blanket. And he loved it but Lincoln loves it and he's like I want to use Lincoln I want to use Isaac's blanket. And so I went online and I bought him one for Christmas and I'm just kind of like keeping it in the package in my office so that he doesn't see it. It's just like little things that I'm picking up on that I know or like if I'm in the store and I see something that oh wow Isaac might like that or Lux might like that I you know I'll just pick it up. Well okay so speaking of Christmas list Jackson actually made his list last night and I was laughing because he will fight more than any people that I know like they just fight to fight and I think it's just their personalities will just doesn't give in and will never really been around kids other than Jackson so I think it's a little bit harder for him. I can ignore a little bit more than what will can but they'll just sit and fight and so I told will I was like listen you've got to sit down with Jackson and make the Christmas list because everybody's asking for it and it just needs to be done. It needs to be sent out before Black Friday because that was the request that that we received so they made the Christmas list last night and thank God I was not involved because I'm sure they fought the whole way through it.

But will was kind of walking me through it after Jackson went to bed last night and we were just laughing at how kids are and like the kind of things that they pick. It's like they could have a really expensive watch or an Incredibles watch that's like completely China plastic and it's 799 and he's going to pick the Incredibles watch. Oh absolutely that phase that he's going through and I know it'll change you know when he gets in high school it'll be more expensive items but I just think it's funny that you know how they pick because it's got characters on it that that's what they want. But we do all of our Christmas lists for him or birthday lists whatever on Amazon because you can make a wish list on there and you can send the link to people so it makes it super easy for everybody. Oh, see I don't I'm not tech savvy I'm super ignorant when it comes to all things electronic. So, and you know what it's crazy because I bought Isaac like one of those Cosmo little gadgets for your iPad last year for his birthday and I forgot to give it to him. And so it's still in the plastic in the wrap like I know it was never opened so I think I might wrap it and give it to him for Christmas this year. Like honestly I'm the worst I know I cannot I cannot.

Can we talk for a second about how I saw on Instagram this morning Harvey talking about Lincoln flicking people off. What? Yes, he said that like Lincoln was it was like this video and he said that my son flipping people off. No, no, no, no, it was Harvey talking about Lincoln flipping people off and the video was like Lincoln kept putting up his middle finger or something and Harvey was asking him. Where did he learn to do that and he said that Lincoln genuinely acted like he didn't know where he had learned to do that and then it made me laugh because in the next video. Harvey was like and so I told him that I'd break his finger off so I do it again. Link I have he said that he was going to break Lincoln's finger off. Yeah, that's what he said in the video.

He said he's going to break Lincoln's finger off and I was laughing because it reminded me of being a kid and you know you see your parents do things and then you do them. It wasn't me he did not see me do this I don't flip people off typically like that's not a thing for me typically but like maybe you have. But it wasn't me like he just went what's today Wednesday he just went to his dad's on Monday. So I mean that was not for me I did not teach him that and I say cuz never had a problem flipping people off so he did not learn that over here. Okay so as a kid. You know how sometimes like parents will get like road raged and then they'll like flick a car off and be like f you. I don't know where this is going so I'm not sure if I should be laughing or not. So when I was a little kid.

My dad did that and so one time we were in the car and it was like a car pulled out front of us or something and he had to like say on the brakes and he was like laying down on the horn I was like flicking the person off in the backseat and. Did your dad know. Yeah he told me that people go to jail for stuff like that he was like that's against the law like you can't. Flick people off and so my whole life. Literally until I was like grown like even when I was like 18 probably I thought this that it was against the law to flick people off. But where did you learn it your dad probably flicked someone off yeah why didn't he go to jail. That's where I learned it but I was stupid enough to be like oh only probably parents can do it's probably against the law for kids like I was an idiot. I just know that is so like that's funny but also not funny because I actually need to know where he learned that.

I saw that this morning and I was like Kale's probably throwing up the middle finger like flying through Dover like. It literally wasn't me like I really don't flick people off which is so funny because I saw Javi this morning he had to drop something off for Lincoln Lincoln got star of the week. So I was like creating all these like little he had to answer like his favorite food and the food that he doesn't like and what's his favorite things to do and stuff like that. So I was making his little board that will go up at the school and Javi was dropping off the pictures that Lincoln drew of his family to put the pictures of the family but then you also put the drawings of it and Lincoln. He has never really been like he doesn't like to really color or like draw anything like it's not his thing. So the drawings were so funny literally drew like circles with like lines for legs and arms. And he put like four of us and then he put like two dogs for our family for mom for his mom's house and the dogs are circles with three legs each. And I said well what is this and Javi was like telling me exactly what Lincoln said they were and then you get to Javi's family and Javi said that he was trying to he started off drawing.

Their family and then was like trying to combine my family with his family with his family. So the drawings were super funny and cute and I'm just super proud of him but I guess his teacher doesn't know that he's actually flipping people off you know outside of the classroom so hopefully she doesn't hear this. When I saw that I was like oh my God I have to put Kale on the spot and like ask why her son's going around giving people the bird like what. I need to know where he learned it and I'm going to get to the bottom of this so we're going to crack this case and by the next podcast episode I will have an update for y'all. Please please. All right so changing the subject for a second I have a question. Do you do Christmas cards. I do.

I haven't been consistent every single year but I'm working towards that. So same and I feel like it's a struggle every single year to do it and I always wait till last minute and always I'm trying to like find the perfect card which is really hard. You know what's awesome though I do I am really consistent about doing super cute birthday invitations with like the pictures and stuff I love to customize them and like I said I am trying to do get better with the holiday cards. Same and I'm really into stationery too so I love everything to look like really pretty I hate like a cheap looking invitation or a cheap Christmas card I like it to look like really pristine. So yeah so there's this company minted and what I love about minted is how easy they are to use and you can basically take a picture of anything you want and have it made into a card like a holiday card a birthday invitation birthday card anything. And even if you receive a cool card of someone else you can just take a picture of it and minted will create a version for you so it's super easy and it only takes two seconds so it's like a one stop shop for all your cards. Absolutely and they work with a bunch of independent artists and create some really really unique beautiful card designs and a variety of styles. Text your photo to cards 22737 new customers will get 20% off but only through November 30 text your photo to 22737 before November 30 and get 20% off your first purchase get started right now text your picture to 22737.

And other news though can I talk about my click list experience. You're what my click list experience do y'all have that where you can just like order your groceries online and like pull in and call the number and get it. Yeah Walmart. Yeah okay yeah Walmart has it so I think Publix and Kroger also have it. We don't have those prefer to shop at Publix but will prefer shop at Kroger. And we needed groceries but I've just been so busy and honestly if it wasn't for like the meal planning kits like green chef or whatever I would be dead at this moment because. I've been so busy and I feel like I hate to get in the kitchen and have to use my brain to like think of stuff. So I know that sounds a little nuts but I just hate it like once I've ran through my whole day the last thing I want to worry about is like cooking a gourmet meal.

So I had told Will I was like I will go to the grocery store but I'm going to click list it this week because I just don't have time to go into the grocery store. So he's like fine you know we'll do click list so laying in the bed and I'm rattling off like all the things that need to be put on click list. So we get to the end of it and mind you we've never done this before this is the first time. And I tell Will I said okay I know you and I know that you've probably put chicken on there that's not organic chicken. So if there is meat on there that is not organic meat I will leave it at Kroger like I whether you paid for it or not I will not come home with it. So he like starts laughing and he like starts reversing the order and putting in the right chicken or you know whatever. I thought he was pulling a fast one and as he's going down the order it allows you for specifications because I like green bananas and we've talked about this on the podcast before. And I told Will I said there's got to be a way to put on the app specifications if somebody's shopping for you there's got to be a way like if you have a recipe for a large onion there's got to be a way for it to be specified.

I need a large onion not just like a little small one right. So yes there is a place in the app. So Will goes to check out and I start looking through the order and he has put on the milk that I like the last expiration date that I will look through all of the milk and pick the last expiration date that there is. And the milk thing so for this person to do this. And then on the bananas he put please pick the greenest bananas possible the weirdo picking them up will know if they aren't the greenest. What. Yes mind you this shopper who is shopping for us is getting a printout of this with a specification so they're going to be reading this as they're shopping and I'm like OK this point I can't really even go get the groceries because this person is going to really think I'm weird and will put all this bogus shit like on the thing and he didn't remove it and he submitted the order so like it's all out there.

Honestly though the people that work at the grocery stores they probably don't get stuff like that or maybe they do and it's funny to them. So you probably it probably actually made their day like to laugh about that. Probably. So. And honestly. So funny though kill was that OK he puts in the order and then I start getting nervous because I'm like OK I look through the order and on the quantity of bananas it says one. So I'm like OK am I going to show up to click list and like they load my car and it's going to be one single green banana because that's going to suck if so. I think it's one like bunch like one what is like a group of bananas.

A bushel I said like a bushel who knows like I don't know if that's what it's called. So I get to click list and I pull up and they have a number that you call you call it tell them what lane you're in tell them your name. And they bring the card out and funny enough I get out of the car and the only thing that's not in a bag is the bananas. And I'm like OK this is funny so I tell the lady she was like no no no you can get back in your car I'll load everything and I was like no no no. I had ordered this online and my husband put all of the information in and I don't even know what he really ordered so I kind of need to look. And I said the thing that I was concerned about was the bananas but it looks like you gave me a bushel of bananas so that's perfectly great thank you so much. And so she explained to me that technically through the app if you put one single banana that they only put one banana. But because he put greenest bananas she knew that they meant like he meant a whole bundle of bananas so that's why we got them.

Otherwise we would have received one green banana. This fucking story Lindsay I cannot like who raised you because y'all are both weird. Weird it probably made their day so I'm going to probably buy green bananas. I'm never going to buy green bananas that's never happened. Is it because you like for them to turn yellow over time and not and like essentially be fresh or do you like yes I'm green. That's why. So I don't eat them green like when I buy them I maybe eat them like on the second or third day. And so by the time like I get through the bushel of bananas or whatever it's called then they're all still fresh.

I don't like to get like super ripe bananas at the grocery store because two days later they already have yellow spots or like black spots on them. Yeah I'm not a huge banana person but I do have bananas in my kitchen right now. The baby loves them. But it's just weird and we'll eat them with like doodoo spots like all over them and I'm just like that's disgusting like it's just gross. I feel like they're sweeter the longer the longer they go the more sweet they are. And see I don't like the sweetness of it like I like I like a firm banana. I bet. So yeah and then in other news while we're talking about food I saw on Foursquare a poll and the poll was young moms are 27% more likely to visit blank than the average U.S. consumer.

Strip club. Strip club. Kale this is a food establishment. Oh. 27% of Chick-fil-A. Young moms. Correct. But the choices were Wendy's Starbucks which could have possibly been the answer Burger King or Chick-fil-A.

But the winner was Chick-fil-A. Definitely Chick-fil-A and Starbucks because everyone needs Starbucks. However Starbucks is very expensive so I think the definitely the answer would be Chick-fil-A. At our Starbucks Chick-fil-A is directly across the street. That's like a dream. Yeah like literally you can go over grab one and then cross the street and get the other. Yeah that's that's for real a dream. And Chick-fil-A actually just this week joined DoorDash so you can get it delivered to your house so that's even more dangerous.

I have so much stuff to do today I you know what I didn't have the kids last year so I did not decorate for Christmas. And Isaac went to his dad's on Sunday night and then Javi had asked me to keep Lincoln for Sunday night into Monday because he went to a football game. So I was like yeah sure but you know Lincoln was kind of bummed out because you know his brothers weren't here. And I said it's okay like we're gonna have excuse me we're gonna have a great night we're gonna watch movies popcorn will have like a little sleepover like me and you like quality time he's all pumped out we watch. I think we watched Hotel Hotel Transylvania 3 again. And he said mom he said you think we could like decorate for Christmas this year with like the lights and stuff and I was like oh fuck yeah like I didn't say fuck but I was thinking in my head like fuck yeah. So I have all my kids for Christmas this year and so once he went back to his dad's on Monday morning I went out and I got a shit ton of Christmas stuff. So I'm gonna put like some of the stuff out but like since he specifically requested to help put up the lights I'm gonna wait until they get back to me on Sunday to do all that stuff and I got like glass ornaments to do and like little ones for the baby

and we're gonna decorate the tree and do all that stuff because I'm super pumped. You only get to do it really every other year so for you it's like oh wow like this is really special because you missed out last year. Right yeah I mean like I guess I could decorate when I don't have the kids but it's like for me to do all that work to just not. And then it's kind of depressing. It is but you know what like I said on the last one of the last podcasts we did I think on the years that I don't have my kids I'm gonna just change the day of Christmas like they don't care. So I might do Christmas either the day before or the day after whenever whenever I get them back we'll just do Christmas that way I can decorate every year. For sure and then they can enjoy and not think that you're the Grinch because you have no decorations put up and like you're not festive. Right okay Lindsay let me tell you about these emails I've been getting from Kate Hudson.

Are you talking about the Fabletics emails. No we're best friends now no I'm just kidding where I'm talking about Fabletics which is a really cool athletic wear company that was actually co founded by Kate Hudson. I know Fabletics is really cool and you guys can jump on their site and take a little style quiz for personalized outfit recommendations I love it. You can shop from thousands of styles that are handpicked for you and you can become a VIP member which I love saving up to 50% off of regular prices and getting free shipping and additional perks. So the leggings are super comfortable I actually have a bunch of pair pairs of their leggings but I currently am wearing the charcoal camo leggings which I love you guys know I'm obsessed with camo. So all their leggings are super comfortable and Fabletics is offering our wonderful listeners an incredible deal you guys don't want to miss. So you'll get two leggings for only $24 that's a $99 value when you sign up as a VIP. So go to fabletics.com slash combos to take advantage of this deal now that's fabletics.com slash combos to get two leggings for only $24.

Also you get free shipping on orders over $49 and international shipping is available and there's absolutely no commitment when you purchase your first order so that's fabletics.com slash combos. Highly recommended by me and my new best friend Kate Hudson. I just really quickly want to see I did post on my story like what people were wanting to know. So the first question we got was where are your favorite places to shop for yourselves and for Christmas gift ideas. Okay so favorite place hands down to shop for myself would be Lululemon expensive but I think the quality is good and it's worth it and it's universal so I can kind of like mix and match the stuff and go with it and although it's athletic wear and comfortable. I still I still feel put together but honestly since we came in contact with carbon 38 I have been buying a lot of leggings off of there been buying leggings off of Fabletics. Trying to think where else I mean those are those are probably my athletic wear places those three.

I still haven't shopped at Lululemon but I've definitely shopped at carbon 38 and for sure shopped at Fabletics and I like both of those. Christmas gift ideas I feel like we've talked about but honestly I do need a couple for like women I know we have we've talked about like man crates for men. And I actually like I was saying earlier I have three in my office to give as gifts. I don't have like I don't struggle with the kids because I feel like the personalized water the Yeti the Yeti water bottles. Also the personalized blankets I told you all about I don't know what to get like the women in my life like women that are older than me ants. I have a big struggle I have a big struggle with that too. Although the people that I'm buying for I feel like I know pretty well so I know the things that they would like that cost money that would just be like nice for them to just have on hand like a gift card for like a Brazilian blowout or like something like that that would just be like a nice thing for them to not have to pay for. I try to know what people really underestimate gift cards are like oh this took no thought like this isn't personal this isn't that but honestly I disagree I think it's really super convenient to give gift cards like honestly I'd be happy with

a while while gift card which is our gas station because I don't want to pay for gas you know what I mean like I don't want to pay for a Brazilian blowout like that would be perfect or to get my nails done like I don't really I would love to just not pay for that one time you know what I mean but I like gift cards that have thought behind them so if it's like okay somebody knows that I like going to Lululemon I would prefer that they would get me a gift card for Lululemon and not like a random American express gift card because I feel like that literally took no thought. Right right like if you know that I go to a specific nail place and you go get it for that nail place or yes grandma loves to shop at boss cobs on Sundays like go get her boss cobs you know what I mean I just I don't know what to get like I love Chris's grandma so much I just think she's like the greatest and I don't know what to get her for Christmas like I have no idea. Well if anybody has any ideas please shoot them our way send them our way. Also if you have any ideas for teachers gifts because I'm fresh out like I feel like I have to do the same thing every year. Sensey you do the sensey you can do like they have like teacher warmers Apple warmers just like a home warmer and like people love candles but this one's no flame.

Okay well that would probably be good because they can also have it in the class too because it's not like right a flame so yeah. I normally do that and there's these slippers that I really like and I forget what the brand is I'll look it up for you guys but every time I've ever given this one brand of slippers it's always a hit and I've never heard somebody say that like they didn't love them or wear them until they wore them out so I normally do like that like a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts gift card. The personalized Yeti's stuff like that is what I try to normally do but that's a good idea to incorporate since he so definitely going to think about that. I didn't want to talk about something that I saw it was like a special that was on TV and it was talking about bulldozer parents which is like I guess the newest term for helicopter parents and what. Yeah and I know that I fall in that category of helicopter and it was like really eye opening for me as a parent because. Sometimes you think that you're doing like all of the right things because you're so involved and you're so. Almost in a sense parenting to where your kids don't have to make a decision but they think they're making a decision and.

This person on TV was like a special was talking about how it's really not good for your kids and that over time it is not healthy for their decision making skills because it makes them weaker. And I definitely agree with that because will and I were having a conversation about you know he grew up where drinking and stuff was allowed not like they were underage drinking or whatever but it was around you know so. They were exposed to it right and so I feel like the thrill for him to do it was wasn't there. Yeah it just wasn't there and then for me I didn't grow up around it at all and so the thrill of doing it was there because I had never been around it. Not to say that like I was doing it all the time but you know like in college you go to parties and you know there's alcohol there so you want to know what it's about and. The thrill just wasn't there for him but was there for me not that I ever got in trouble with it but I could see where. When kids aren't exposed to things that they are more apt to want to try those things because they don't know what it's about. It was so crazy because I remember in high school I became friends with this girl who was like more friends with like the popular kids I feel like and so she was like would try to bring me to hang out with them and they were all so like oh we're going to drink we're going to drink we're going to drink and for me.

I wanted no parts like I wasn't even remotely interested because I felt like I had I've been around it for so long and I saw what the effects of alcohol was with my mom and so like I wanted no parts of it so. Right. I was being exposed to it at even now at 26 years old like yeah I'll drink very very occasionally and it takes me like a long time to even be like alright I guess I'll have a drink but I just don't yeah like I'm not even it doesn't interest me I don't know it's really strange and I find that. I mean I wrote about it in pride over pity but I smoked a lot when I was a kid because I feel like maybe I wasn't exposed to that had I been exposed to that from my mom probably wouldn't have done it. So yeah I think I can agree with what you're saying for sure. And it was eye opening for me you know as a parent because I just feel like I want to protect Jackson so much from the outside world and want to protect him from doing something that. I know what the effects are going to be later but at the same time it was very opening for me to have to hear that coming from another person that was like a third party not from. Parents or friend or you know whatever this was just a person on TV and an interview with the psychologist or psychiatrist whatever.

And just to hear them kind of explain it from a level of you know like academic levels and present facts you know percentage facts of it is very eye opening to be like oh wow maybe you know I should allow him to make. His own choices his own choices and not that I'm going to let my child make like super important decisions I had almost six years old. But for him to be able to make decisions and then if he makes the wrong decision learn what the consequences versus me not letting him make a decision and then him never understanding what the consequence would have been if he would have made the decision on his own. Or he's able to make the decision on his own and see like for example for drinking like if you make that decision you don't have that conversation or you don't expose him to it and then. He decides when he's going to try it and he overdoes it you know what I'm saying yeah I really think that a huge part of this is kind of having open dialogue with your kids because it's just like. Safe sex drugs alcohol all of it you have to open a conversation about it if you don't have those conversations and the kids are forced to do things to figure it out on their own. You're not going to necessarily they're not going to get the results that are would have been had you tried to talk about it with them and kind of expose them to it. Prior. Well exactly and I think about you know all these kids that you hear that you know get out in cars and drive drunk and.

I had a friend tell me one time that she you know grew up in a Christian household had siblings and she was expected you know it wasn't. You should go to church on Sundays it was you are going to church on Sundays so whatever you're doing on Saturday night I. Does not matter because you're going to church on Sunday morning and went out and drank on a Saturday night and knew that she had to be home. And got in the car and drove but didn't want her parents to know that she had been out drinking because she had church in the morning. And so in situations like that like I don't want my child to fear me so bad that they can't be honest with what he's doing you know. Sure I mean I have I struggle with that right now Isaac's almost nine. And we do struggle with that a lot like Lincoln will come up to me even when he's wrong and he knows that what he if he did something that he shouldn't have done he'll tell me. You know I did this I know I was wrong I'm sorry Isaac is more like almost afraid to tell the truth because you know he's scared to get in trouble but I told him.

Over the weekend we kind of had an issue with behavior or whatever and I told him. He was honest and I said you know I'm really proud of you for telling me the truth because I said I could be I could be upset with you. You know for what decision that you made but I said I would rather you tell me the truth and we move on then for you to lie to me and then I can't trust you. Exactly I tell that Jackson all the time we actually had that conversation. Last week and it's just over not even things that are important and I right have explained to him that you come to me with the truth whether I like that truth or not. It's going to be okay because you told me the truth and I can trust you when you speak but if you come to me with a lie and you're trying to cover up something that you've done you might as well shoot me straight because what's done is done and chances are I already know. Right if I'm asking chances are I already know the answer to the question that I'm asking I'm seeing what your response is going to be.

Right 100% I think that's I mean that's so important I don't think that if when you really think about the grand scheme of things like how important that conversation is with kids because you know you never know if you're telling the truth or you get a lie and oh my gosh the other thing I think I told you we talked about it before snitching. I'm like stop snitching on your brother and stop actually doing things to each other that would make y'all want to snitch. I'm like just stop like live your best life live your best honest life and people will never question you in the future like. Yeah the the tattling you know I cannot do the tattling you know well this person did this to me. Okay well all I know to do to tell you is to pray for them and if you've prayed for them and they continue like three other times then knock them out. I don't know what to tell you like. Let's see the knock them out.

Oh my gosh I mean oh my gosh. Oh my God Kale it seems like every episode we're talking about some true crime drama in the news. I don't know what it is about these stories but they're so fascinating and every time we think that we're going to solve the case. Because we are going to solve the case so check this out. We started playing this addictive game called hunt a killer. It's a monthly subscription box where you get to practice those soothing skills and become a detective immersed in a murder mystery. How awesome is that. So now this mystery is totally interactive and extremely realistic.

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That's hunt a killer dot com slash coffee for 10% off your first box. Hunt a killer dot com slash coffee and let's see if you guys have what it takes to get into the mindset of a serial killer and solve this mystery. We should actually all play this game together. Agreed. I had read this article about negotiating with your kids and like when you should and when you shouldn't do that and. Okay we'll send that article to me because I need that. So basically what it was talking about was when no kind of turns into a tug of war type of situation and that parents these days are finding negotiating with their children whenever they're met with any type of resistance.

So if you say no and then your child kind of like fights back in this day and time parents want to negotiate with your kids versus years and years and years ago when parents said no no meant no or you're going to get your ass tore up. Oh yeah I remember those days. Parents just don't do that and so. Because they're lazy we're all fucking lazy we live in a lazy fucking generation just like we talked about last episode with the drive through and all of that bullshit we're just lazy and I'm speaking for myself included. Well so this was basically saying that there's a difference between negotiating around versus negotiating with. And it's basically like sometimes kids will try to negotiate with you to get around what they're trying to get around versus finding

middle ground. So if you're negotiating with that means that you guys met at a meeting place in the middle versus you saying no but your child negotiating with you until your answer turns to yes that's negotiating around something. So I definitely feel like that's hard as a parent because sometimes when I say no about something it's not even important and I'll find myself being like okay that's fine. But as a parent I think you have to get in the mindset of when I say no then no means no because they're learning right now your habits as a parent. Right like they're almost pushing testing the limits try you know what I mean actually have a story about that this weekend so as I

was saying earlier I say kind of go back to Joe's on Sunday night I kept Lincoln until Monday. That's just the way it went. But we had a sleepover after Lincoln's birthday party on Saturday. So Chris's two little cousins came down and slept over over here. And nobody had school on Monday because of the holiday Veterans Day. And so on Sunday when I went to go take the kids back home up by Chris's everyone wanted to have a sleepover again. And I was like well Isaac has to go back to his dad's I'm like I don't know tonight's a good night. Honestly he had gotten a birthday party to he was supposed to go to a birthday party on Sunday evening and didn't get to go

already for bad behavior but at that time I was already up there so I was like you I already know what's happening because I told him no he's going to say no which he did and I respect I kept telling him no but he was insistent because it was his dad's day he had to ask his dad. All right go ask your dad his dad said no. Now Lincoln's upset because Lincoln could stay with me and it's up to me whether he could have that sleepover or not. And I was like I already have to take Isaac back down to Dover we're talking almost an hour away. So no not tonight and he kept pushing it gave me puppy eyes you know I said how are you going to get home tomorrow because I'm going to be back up here.

I already had gone up and back on Saturday for Lincoln's party now I'm coming up and back on Sunday for to drop your friends off you know after the sleepover I said who's going to bring you home. And he's just giving me every possibility in the book and I'm just like no the answer is no get in the car. And then it ended up being fine because like I said we did the movies in the popcorn and a little sleepover but and actually Chris then surprised Lincoln with the cousins again because like I said they didn't have school on Monday with the Nerf guns and all that and they had a blast but I was just like when you say no my kids I try to say no my kids don't respect it and I don't know what it's going to take for that to happen. I think just continuously saying no until they finally get it and honestly and that's what that's what I said about to Isaac about

the birthday party I said your behavior while you've had your friends over like I tell you to do something and you just don't do it. And then you wonder you know or you're you know you'll try to fib to me about something that happened and it's like Lincoln comes up to me and tells me the truth so you can't even get mad about it and so you already got a birthday party taken away like that's my biggest thing is like when speaking of like laziness and stuff like that it's just like there's so many problems where I threaten consequences and I don't follow through so my kids do follow that behavior if I tell Isaac you're grounded and then the next day he's outside playing with his friends I'm not really standing firm to my consequence so on Sunday it was really hard because that was my friend's son's birthday like it wasn't like some kid that I

didn't know I mean this was my friend and you know they do jujitsu together so that was hard for me. I wanted to go I wanted to see my friend for her son's birthday like yeah I mean I just don't understand kids these days like if my parents told me no like in the day I would have never been like but this is the reason like why I want it to be yes it was just like when no was no and then that was just it but I don't get it because sometimes as a parent I don't know if you find yourself doing this but you'll be busy doing something else and your child will ask you something like one of your kids ask you something and you your automatic answer is no but then upon consideration your answer probably would have been yes. Right or the other way around or the other way around. Yeah so what this is saying is stick to your guns to your first answer whatever it is so don't have a reconsideration so I guess basically what it's

saying is take a moment before giving your answer and tell your child like I need a minute to think about that before giving an answer that way whatever you say you can firmly stick to so there is no form of negotiating whatsoever. Honestly that's something as a parent that I need to work on probably not even only as a parent but just in life because I let people in my aside from my kids in my life take advantage of me and I think people know that like they're used to me being like oh yeah yeah or like and then after I already said yes to someone I like think about it and I'm like wait I should have said no you know what I mean like I think that just applies to all aspects of life and that's something that I definitely need to work on so I feel like definitely send me that article and maybe we should post it or maybe there's one similar that we can post for the people. For sure so completely shifting gears do you have any

updates on your situation with Joe? I don't want to say too much about what I talked to my attorney about however I did see my attorney yesterday and we're just kind of like figuring it out I will say that I'm just still super hurt and I kind of just don't have anything to say to him I don't I deleted him off my Facebook list which is probably super petty but I just I am a little bitter right now honestly like super bitter and I'm hoping that it's resolved in the next couple months because obviously it's like Thanksgiving and Christmas and then Isaac's birthday so I'm hoping that it gets resolved sooner rather than later just so that I don't have to stress out about it but like I don't sleep at night right now because I don't know if I'm going to be able to have to decide between whether mortgage or child support gets paid first so or at all so I'm just wondering how that's going to go. Do you feel like a lot of parents are in the same situation

of mortgage and child support and all the above? You know what I'm going to be honest with you I talked to Chris about it because Chris does pay child support to me and we both are on the same page in the aspect that obviously child support is warranted when you know when there's a reason we understand that there's an obligation to pay and be financially responsible for your child but when you already are doing that and it's 50-50 there is some type of resentment that builds up and I feel like in some aspects like I have judged fathers who complain about it like they're like oh if I have to pay child support I'm not going to be in the child's life. That doesn't make sense to me because obviously in those cases I feel like the mother has a child the majority of the time so you have to be financially responsible but in a situation like this where I know that the money is not going to benefit Isaac in any way shape or form because he's already taken care of over there, taking care of over there

I feel a sense of bitterness and resentment and anger and I think that a lot of parents, mother or father can relate to that, the resentment because it just isn't warranted in this situation. Right. Okay so let's talk about something that is very important to me health and fitness. I try to exercise every day as you guys know and I think it's super important to take care of your body. So ladies are you in need of more energy, more hours in the day and do you feel like squeezing time for your family work and hitting the gym feels like an impossible task because if so body boss would be a great option for you. Yes so I've discovered a huge online social community for body boss and they have thousands of followers and you can see the hashtag, hashtag boss effect all over your social media. Basically a massive group of women who help and support each other while achieving their health and fitness goals

and that's really cool. So when I must admit that when I go to the gym I find a hard time like keeping up or staying motivated and so body boss makes it really easy to kind of stay connected and stay motivated while achieving your fitness goals. It's a great 12 week body boss workout program at home in just 24 minutes a day, 3 days a week. That's less than 90 minutes a week with no equipment and no subscription. There's also pro coaches and a free Facebook group of supportive kick-ass women like you. You're never alone. Try body boss with this special offer just for our listeners and get 25% off the fitness guide at bodyboss.com slash coffee order now and get free shipping and a money back guarantee. This is their best deal ever. Get body boss or 25% off at bodyboss.com slash coffee.

12 weeks from now you'll thank yourself for starting now. That's bodyboss.com slash coffee. Let's get back to the show. Okay so you have three boys so let's say if you had to pay child support on all three of those kids, would it be reduced for Joe because you were paying out child support on two other kids or how would that even work? So in the state of Delaware it's solely based on income. In a typical situation you wouldn't have to provide the expenses like what you're actually spending on but because it's solely based on income if I'm paying all three fathers child support it would be the father who makes the least gets the most child support

and then the father who makes the most gets the lesser amount of child support. Got it. Got it. Yeah I didn't know. But to me I just don't feel as though this is warranted at all and I'm feeling for sure the resentment and the anger and the bitterness. So I don't know I hope it's resolved. It was funny because I woke up this morning and you know how sometimes you just check your phone first thing in the morning and I went on Instagram or Twitter and I think it was Twitter

and one of the tweets came up that was retweeted on my timeline and it said, did anyone wake up this morning thinking about that check? And I was like I literally quoted retweeted it and was like yeah the child support check that my baby father is about to get. But then I deleted it like I didn't even post it I just like started to because I was like I'm not going to be petty we're not going to start this on social media but it's definitely been on my mind. It's so hard whenever you feel it would be one situation where if it wasn't just for financial gain but when you just feel kind of abused in the situation that okay everybody's taking care of

and you're just doing this to be greedy it's hard not to want to retaliate. Right right and that's what I'm struggling with it's like really hard for me not to just be petty and be bitter and be angry but aside from talking about it on my podcast I'm really trying hard not to like tweet about it or like throw shots because it's not going to get any that's not going to solve anything you know. Yeah exactly you know like the petty back and forth tweets you know whatever that's just that's going nowhere but speaking of Twitter what is all of this stuff about Janelle or her husband calling you gay or something?

Oh my god I think a couple weeks ago Janelle was saying how like somebody asked her why I was so obsessed with her and her answer was I don't know maybe she's confused about her sexuality and then literally the next like question on her Instagram story was like about David being homo racist or something or homophobic and he said that he's not she said that he's not homophobic and he's not racist because his childhood best friend was black or something like that and I'm just thinking like how do you claim to be not homophobic and then also try to insult my sexuality and the exact same breath? Like I'm just not really sure however I did still invite them to my pothead launch party

just to see you know if maybe we can make amends or whatever so. Do you think that y'all will? No they don't want to know but they don't I don't know if they just like don't want to like calm down or what? So there were some questions that you guys had asked so we're going to do a quick little Q&A the first question actually this was asked often through the Q&A for Kale to talk about her new pothead hair care products and where will those be available and just give a little information there was a lot of questions about this CBD oil and Okay so for so my hairline is infused with CBD oil which is a huge thing

CBD is really good for a lot of things and I'll have like a frequently asked question section on my website the website is potheadhaircare.com and you can get the products on there you can order starting November 30th the night of my launch party so you can actually go there now and then sign up for the email so you get like the first notification whenever the products are available to buy I'm trying to work with some dispensaries and hair salons to get my product into their spots but I do want to obviously sell to individuals first so that'll be the information we're going to have a store locator on the website so you might be able to get the products at a salon too perfect another question was how do we feel about fake eyelashes for daily wear and is it too dramatic

I mean I used to get the individual lash extensions and I loved them a lot I didn't think they were dramatic at all I really loved them until all your lashes fell out and you didn't have any left yeah well because well my lashes didn't fall out but because I was getting the fills or whatever when your new eyelashes grow in they look like little stubs but you have like your other eyelashes to like blend in the new growth and I feel like when I had my lash extensions I don't know how to describe it well I'll just say I'm a lash extension where and normally in the summertime I try to take them off

just because you know I'm in the pool or at the beach or at the lake or whatever so I feel like it's a lot of maintenance for summer however during the fall and winter and spring I have eyelash extensions on and I get a fill about every three and a half weeks and I love it like I don't have to put on mascara I just wash my face in the morning and put on my skincare and then that's just it and I look alive so I like it alright so you guys know how I loved home cook meals and trying new recipes I have been enjoying Green Chefs so much lately

life is so busy and I try to meal plan but sometimes it can be super hard to have everything that I need on hand to make healthy meals for my family and I came across Green Chef and it is a USDA certified organic company that includes everything you need to easily cook delicious meals that you can feel really good about Green Chef sends a wide variety of hand-picked organic ingredients and imaginative new recipes and sends them straight to your door the meal plans include paleo, vegan, vegetarian, keto, gluten-free, omnivore and carnivore so whatever diet you and your family prefer they have an option for you so I decided that I was going to try a gluten-free recipe and I picked the maple balsamic chicken thighs and it has roasted broccoli and pecans and sweet potato mash it's super good if that's something that you guys are into

I would definitely recommend it Green Chefs, expert chefs design recipes using a wide variety of organic ingredients to create gourmet flavor you typically only find in restaurants I love the variety of recipes that range from global cuisines to classic comfort foods all with a signature touch so Green Chef thinks that dinner should be planned around your life not the other way around for $50 off your first box of Green Chef go to greenchef.us slash coffee combos note that the website is.us not.com and again that's $50 off your first box of Green Chef at greenchef.us slash coffee combos let's get back to the show a question that was asked for myself was why do I have over 200 unread text messages

I'm wondering the same thing because I will literally ignore the fuck out of somebody by just clicking on their text because I do not like the notification and I will forget about it and then forget to respond to them I don't know how you have over 200 unread text messages I could never okay but I'm not even trying to make an excuse for myself because I just looked at my phone and I have 252 messages and I swear no matter what I do when I lay down to go to bed at night I'll still have that same stupid number and I've been answering text messages all day what do you mean like it doesn't matter if I feel like I'm cleaning it out then I'll still go to bed and I'll still have like 257 text messages or something like that and I feel like I've dealt with everything that I needed to deal with for that day

but then people just keep texting so then when my number goes down then it just goes back up and I can't get rid of it so I just don't care anymore I used to be like you where I hated having the notification but then I realized okay if I open it up then I'm gonna forget that it was there because it's not lit up anymore and then I'm gonna forget to go back to it so like eventually I will go back and look at it at some point but maybe not today or this week or this month but I will get to it and I just don't understand like the issue here why people are so concerned about that notification number

and also I can't know like okay so you know how you can collapse your apps into like social or whatever yes so I have right now 22 messages on social like between those apps and then I have 110 voicemails first of all can we talk about voicemails don't leave a voicemail never leave a voicemail this is not a thing stop leaving voicemails don't do it

okay so I'll be 100% honest for like years I didn't even set up my voicemail because if you don't set it up then people can't leave it so I didn't even have a voicemail and then somebody told me they were like I can't remember who told me this but they were like Lindsay it's not professional like not to have a voicemail so I'm like okay well it's not professional to leave a voicemail because it's annoying so whatever I'll set it up so I set up the voicemail and I think it's just an automated one like it's not even me speaking and now I'm in the situation that I'm in now I have 110 voicemails that I have not listened to and it says that I don't have any more room for voicemails so who knows who's been calling and trying to leave voicemails honestly I will get like say I have like a doctor appointment or something like that and I have I don't have the number saved

and it'll come up as like I don't know like 302 whatever whatever and I don't have any room left in my mailbox so nobody can leave it for me but I will just delete the message like if they did leave a voicemail I would just delete it without listening to it and then I will google the number that just tried calling so like instead of doing the work of just listening to the voicemail I guess to figure out who it is and then calling them back I just like won't do that I'll just google it and if I want to call them back I will and if not I won't I just never call it back like ever like I don't delete it or call it back I have to delete it I cannot I literally do not mean to ignore people but I will not remember to go back and read the text messages or whatever the case may be I hate notifications I hate them emails calls texts updates anything that leaves a notification I cannot have it there so we have established that we have yet other differences that I'm fine with them being there which is really weird because my personality you would think that I would like everything like super cleaned out

my email is super cleaned out but my voicemails aren't so what if somebody texts me like five months from now and was like five months ago I left you a voicemail on such and such date and you're like I don't recall yeah but then I'm like mmm but it's probably on my phone so I can go back and like look and see okay is this person lying to me or is ever saying they left a voicemail on your thing five months ago Lindsay that's not gonna happen somebody might somebody might do that no no kill it's a thing okay honestly with the text messages though like if someone's like oh I texted you six months ago you couldn't even lie and say you didn't get it because you could literally go back and look because you had them from six months ago and ones that you didn't respond to last year like you could never be like oh I didn't get it especially not after this podcast but okay I will say the messages that I have I don't know if I'm explaining it right but the messages that are on there they're like 252 right now are not from six months ago these are like

oh more recent as I go in and clear it out people then text more and then it fills it back up so I feel like it never goes away as much as I try like make it go away it never does no I couldn't handle that and then my email it's pristine like I have no notifications none like it's so good I feel so good about my email but text and phone calls like you try to send me a message on Facebook like not happening never gonna read it the last question is how do we feel about gender selection via IVF I'm for it I know that you are super like religious and stuff like that I am not so I don't feel like to me it messes with anything and I'm absolutely for gender selection and I always talk about if I ever did IVF or sperm bank I would 100% do gender selection I'm not against it for other people because I think whatever is available you should be able to use if it's legal however for me I do feel like that would be going against certain things that I believe and

honestly like I just for sure would want a girl so bad that if I ever went to a sperm bank I would for sure try to do gender selection so I just don't know how it all works you know like I'm not all up to date on how that process would be and can everybody that goes through IVF choose because I've known a lot of people that have gone through IVF and to my knowledge when they're implanted the specialist knows what they're implanting but they don't tell you until it's taken or whatever so are they handpicking or are they just I think it depends on the situation because I know I have a cousin that did IVF I also have a friend that did IVF and my friend that did IVF they did try to use the boys I guess embryos and unfortunately did not work out so they ended up with the girls and then I know my cousin did the IVF and she did not choose and then she had what she had so I think it just depends on the situation I also think that I don't know but maybe you didn't select you know what I mean like they might tell you okay we're we're we're implanting three boys and three girls and or that's a lot I don't know why I don't know if anyone would really do that we're we're implanting one boy or right like one boy and one girl and see what happens or we're just implanting like one boy or like one girl I think it depends on the situation yeah so I am not against it at all I just would be probably not

I think it depends on the person that would choose I would just want whatever the healthiest embryo was you know so right and some people will right some people will like maybe all the girls are the healthiest so they'll just do the girls or like you know what I mean or maybe right there's both I don't know depends I think that's so interesting I think that things have just come so far that it's so interesting that there's even those types of options out there now so for any parent that's out there that's going through IVF you're already struggling and I feel like if you want to pick then that is your choice and you should have every right to do that if science allows you to do it good answer good answer all right guys well it looks like that's all we have time for today thank you so much for joining us for our first ever bonus episode if you have not yet followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram we will be putting new merch up there it'll be an easy swipe up link for you guys to be able to get directed directly to the website

all information regarding the Christmas party will be directly on that Instagram page all the swipe up links for any promo codes that you guys are sending messages for trying to get I know it's hard to write it whenever you're driving down the road so we are doing swipe up links for that now as well and if you have not found us on the podcast app through iTunes if you have not left a five star review the way that you do that is just go search us on the podcast app for iTunes click the fifth star and you can also leave a written review we do read those and enjoy hearing your feedback we have gotten so much information just from that to be able to provide the best show possible for y'all so we appreciate all the support all the love that you give and we will see you guys next week this podcast is brought to you by wave podcast network check out all of our shows including the brain candy podcast I don't get it babes and babies coffee combos and let's talk about it