Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 112: Doctor Visits, Disciplining Kids, and Celebrity News

Episode Date: July 9, 2020

This week, Kail and Lindsie sit down to talk about a few things that have been on their minds lately. Kail gets real about how her doctors visits have been going, and reveals some of her preferences about her doctors. Lindsie wants to know how Kail feels about other people disciplining their kids, and whether or not that's okay. And of course they discuss some celebrity news. You won't want to miss this week's episode of Coffee Convos.  This episode was sponsored by: Skillshare & DHM Detox Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey guys welcome to another episode of Coffee Combos. Good morning or afternoon. Well technically it's morning for me because I just woke up like two hours ago. Okay fair enough. I'm not even kidding. I've only had one anxiety attack a couple of years ago and yesterday I had such bad anxiety that I literally felt like I was having a heart attack for 16 hours. What do they do when you have not you and just you but like in general what do people do when they have an anxiety attack? I don't know if you're supposed to go to like the emergency room because like maybe you're having a heart attack. I'm not sure but it literally feels it like it feels like what I feel like a heart attack would feel like because I haven't

had a heart attack so I don't know but it's like so tight. If you've ever had like really bad reflux or like heartburn or something and it makes your chest feel like super tight feels like that and it just hurts so I've had like a panic attack before. I don't know if they're the same anxiety and panic like back in October when I was going through like crazy stuff in my life but it was it was pretty short lived. It only happened for a couple weeks and then it kind of subsided a little bit. I think it was situational but I don't know if that's the same as like anxiety. I don't know. Well I think that I just have like a lot of changes going on in my life and I think that everything kind of like caught

up with me because I'm a pretty good aboiter for like a long period of time and then everything catches up at once so I think it was just like all of that and then yeah so I needed to sleep and then once I slept for like a really long time I think it just went away sometime in the night. I don't know. Well I'm glad that you it's over now because that sounds awful. Yeah it was it was pretty awful but I woke up this morning and well this afternoon whatever the hell it was and my house was so quiet and I was it made me think of you because I was like I have one child and so Will can keep him pretty contained for you know periods of time but I imagine your house is like never quiet. No it's not and I have

I got a new security system in my house and so and part of that because we have the pool we put alarm well we I put alarms on the doors so the main one of the main parts of the system is in my bedroom so even if I was to have like my friend Natalie or her son you know contain the kids while I take a nap every time a door opens the front door the back door anything it literally is like garage door and then it'll jar and it'll be like kitchen door and I'm like oh my god so like when I'm trying to nap and it's not quiet either and so I've got to figure out especially when the baby comes I need to figure out how to at least put the volume down in my room only because I do like the alarm on my door

because of the pool or whatever but I need to at least put the volume down in my room because I will hear it 12 times especially when they're in the pool like if Natalie's here and I'm like okay I really need to take a nap and she'll be like okay like I got the kids for you or whatever. Honestly right now what's mentally going on in my head is just thinking of that annoyed state that you get in you know like when you're like really annoyed by stuff yeah I think of you looking like that and just being like shut the fuck up. I'm gonna play I'm gonna have someone next podcast I'm gonna have someone open and close the door because I'm podcasting from my room I'm gonna have someone open and close the

door so y'all can hear it and I'm gonna have them do all the doors like front door garage door kitchen door so you can understand I would be so annoyed I would just be like rob me just rob me whatever. So while you were still sleeping or just waking up I was coming out of my OB appointment and I've talked about it last week or whenever I'm doing co-care like I'm doing doctors and also a midwife and I know it sounds a little bit extra but whatever so I wanted to explain to you my frustration so I am at the heaviest weight I've ever been like before I got pregnant and then obviously now while I'm pregnant so that's been a little hard but also I haven't had any real complications like I just haven't

my glucose is good my all my stuff is good so I went into the doctor today and I saw a new doctor because I guess the practice that I started going to has like 10 different ones and you don't know who you're gonna get which makes me lose my mind anyway but he was really cool he was nice I don't like change so it was it's very hard for me to adjust although I did really like him have so many he said that but continue he said that when he was checking my my blood test results obviously I mean I know that I'm anemic and I've known that I'm anemic for years but he was telling me how he wanted to make sure I was taking my iron and I said yeah and he told me that with every pregnancy you lose more blood which

is new to me nobody has ever told me that I don't know why am I just now learning this like when your birthday you lose more blood because like I get yeah but yes so when every with every labor and delivery delivery with every labor and delivery you lose more blood which why is this the first time that I'm hearing this with baby number four at over 37 weeks why am I just now hearing that for the first time so then he says I'm sure he's checking I'm it frustrated me I really liked him don't get me wrong like I'm not speaking negatively of him I'm just speaking negatively in general that why is this the first time I'm hearing of this because when I googled it nothing because Google is so reliable

web indeed nothing came up about it and I was just kind of frustrated because I was like oh okay so this is now the third doctor that's giving me a different reason for why I should be induced instead of home birth and then on top of it said you know because you're anemic because you lose more blood with every baby you know we wouldn't want to see you get a blood transfusion I looked at him like a deer in fucking headlights and he was like but don't worry you just basically told me I might have a blood transfusion and then you told me not to worry and I have a scheduled home birth goodbye so I literally am just like you just have to go to the hospital Kale I can't deal with the drama like no stress

well so I'm gonna go confirm I have like quote unquote high-risk doctor or whatever I'm not the only reason why I'm a high risk at this point is because of my weight and everything seems to be fine so I'm gonna just confirm with him I really love him I'm not gonna say his name on the podcast because I don't know if that's like against the rules but I really like him and he just is very open-minded and understands why I want to have a home birth and understands like you know my body has done this on it's like he understands why I don't want to get induced and all of that stuff so I'm gonna just confirm with him I'm not gonna say what doctor told me this but I'm gonna be like hey this is what was said

to me why am I learning that this is a possibility XYZ what the fuck should I be doing and then I have a midwife appointment on Thursday so this is all too much for me like just hearing about it for the brief like however many minutes it took you to tell that stresses me out enough to know that that's not for me dog but it's this is the doctors this isn't even a home birth situation oh it's because all the combination like you're going to the doctors then you're doing the midwife thing then you're like asking people about birthing stuff on your Instagram and I'm just like it's too much I'm freaked out I think that all the doctors that work in the same practice for you know when you go to the OB that I go to I just feel like

all of them should kind of be on the same page I don't know like that part confuses me never are so my practice you do that too you go on a rotation and I think that's pretty standard for OB's office however I refuse to see any doctor but my own so I only made appointments with her and then she came in to deliver me but my situation is a bit different because she's a personal family friend so that's a little bit of a different situation but I will say when I was in preterm labor I don't know if anybody else has bad experiences with seeing a doctor that's like not your normal doctor well this is the first time I've ever done it I've never done this this is not all my other practices that I went

to was only owned and operated by just that one doctor okay so this is like more like a group so mine right is like a group too and so the reason that they do the rotation is so that whoever is on call will be who delivers you so you've probably seen them at some point during your yep you know time of being pregnant however when I went in for preterm labor to the hospital I saw a doctor that had the worst bedside manner and years later after the fact of me bitching about her I was talking to some moms at the preschool and several moms use the same practice and said the same thing about the same doctor having terrible bedside manner and I think that's so important like you're delivering

babies like why are you such an asshole listen I feel the same way and that's why I left the last doctor's office that I was just I guess most recently at I said on the podcast earlier you know within the last couple weeks my doctor and Delaware he stopped delivering babies so he only does GYN so he but dover Delaware is so small that there's not very many options and so pretty much that another doctor was retiring and then so I went to this one and she was awful like she was so awful I even left her a bad review on Google because I was so turned off by the bad Yelp review no on Google I said good things about the staff though good because they were so nice and so helpful and like I don't know

I really liked them but the doctor herself I mean she was I would never recommend her so then when I came to this one I wasn't really you know what I've noticed and I think that there's something wrong with me really I really only wow I'm really scared to say this on a podcast because you know the media will twist it into something so sick I really prefer male doctors like I have never had a good experience with a female I was gonna go there next so I'm so you were you have ESP I must you must okay so I would never see a male doctor like that for that I mean I have a male doctor for my general physician but he's not like checking my badge okay you know I just right that's not a thing for me but

I was delivered personally by a male doctor and I think all of my mom's kids were delivered by a male doctor I just didn't know that was like popular like there was all my kids were delivered by a male doctor and matter of fact my favorite teachers in my life were males I think I think it's probably stemmed to daddy issues I don't know that's really sick yeah I mean so what what do you prefer over the males do you think that I think because I they don't have a vagina and they don't experience these things so they are the ones that I've experienced are more like understanding and like empathetic whereas like a girl would be like first of all this one that I went to last week at the practice with all the

doctors rotating like I just feel so judged by her do you think that she's judging your situation because she knows who you are or do you think that she no she had no idea who I was she's just I just felt I did not even like her the first time I met her but like the one that I met today he was so nice he's like oh I like your shirt like he just didn't give a fuck and he like he cared and he was like you know are you okay with being induced he's like I really really recommend it he's like even if you you really don't want to do it I recommend it this is why the other one was like yeah your placenta the girl was like yeah your placenta was probably stopped working the next day so I really don't want

you to do it and I'm like okay and she could just tell that when she looked at me she was judging me I don't know if it's the tattoos I don't know if it's I don't know like I just tell we're in 2020 nobody's judging you for tattoos well she might be well then she's ignorant and she needs to quit her job I don't know what it is I think I just I'm gonna bring it up in therapy on Thursday I'll ask why you prefer male doctors males don't have vaginas also so they're not gonna shove the speculum up your vagina and hurt you where like a girl knows what's in there and will just like not give a fuck because to them it might not hurt do you know what I'm saying or like to them their cramps might not be that bad but to

somebody else they might be like they're less empathetic I think it has actually nothing to do with that kill and I think it has to do with the fact that you're very dude like you know what I mean like your personality is just very I'm basically a boy that's what you're saying yeah like kale is boy and boy is kale so I think that's why you like the males because they just like give it to you straight like they just tell you what's up they also don't have a vagina so it's like okay they might be a little more gentle and easy on you and it's just like hanging in with your homie you know and like a girl is kind of different I don't know about that I just feel like they're like I don't know

I don't know but I'm gonna ask my therapist I'll let you guys know next week yeah you need to you need to let us know all the information but can we switch topics for just a second yeah of course okay so I saw that you posted on your Facebook I think it was like your personal Facebook I'm not sure but about schools being delayed or like if it was going to be a situation of just digital learning or whatever and I wanted to give you guys an update my county has still not told us what the protocol is going to be they have not told us if it's going to be delayed they have not told us anything but the surrounding county has now delayed the start of school so so what now so I don't know and in our house we're in

a disagreement because will's like I'll one end of the spectrum and I'm on the other end of the spectrum he's like he's definitely going back to school and I'm like he's definitely not so then what do you do in that situation this one's tough because I was just actually you saw my post obviously I don't know because we don't even know I think until the end of this month what our governor is going to recommend and then on top of that the schools are still able to make a decision on their own so really what the hell are we waiting for the recommendation for right that's I mean I guess that they're supposed to follow are strongly advised to follow the governor's recommendation but it is per the county for them to you know decide

on their own I don't know I'm just like first of all there's just not enough information for me to be like okay yeah let me put my kid back in school one kid I've heard varying things of different counties being like masks are strongly advised well if it's not going to be a requirement then why are we advising anything because then you're going to have half the kids wearing them half the kids not it's like mass chaos it really is I mean and I've seen pictures of what is that like the not plexi pipe it's like like the pvc pipe like pvc pipe yeah type of situation with like plastic like they had like some kind of gadget created to create like a bubble effect around the student desks with pvc pipe and

plastic and but I'm like okay if these students are not at these exact same desks every day and they're not getting sanitized every single day I just it's just a huge distraction and I don't think that's for that even still realistic for those reasons I'm just like unless we can go back to school and function normally like what they would expect then I feel like it's more of a distraction than anything I feel like I can do just as well I can't do just as good of a job at home like as a teacher because I'm not a teacher and I don't really know what the hell I'm doing but I'm saying that with the way that I think that they have it set up it would be where the kids in the class would have like the classroom teachers

and in the kids that choose digital those teachers I think are going to be federally funded through a program or something like that so it wouldn't actually be a teacher from the school oh see I don't know how I feel about that either so I'm like I don't know what the hell is going on I feel so conflicted I'm actually terrified of Corona I saw that there was one child that passed away in Florida last week 11 years old of complications of coronavirus I don't know 11 years old yeah I don't know what the complications were if there was underlying health conditions like there's so little information that is given I feel like when they're writing these articles it's like unless you have background information

that you can support by reporting this then don't report it because it's just like freaking me the hell out and then what do you do when you have a household that disagrees on what to do well that's what I'm wondering because I mean we talked about it last week I think or I talked to somebody about it like with having this baby you know Javi and Joe are still working so what does that look like am I supposed to ask them to quarantine with Isaac there because I'm about to have this baby like they see things differently I actually texted Javi this morning because we were gonna transfer Lincoln to a school that has a Spanish immersion program and I was open minded to it and then I was like I just need like more

information before I commit long story short Javi transferred Lincoln anyway and now I'm even more conflicted because I feel like okay well if he's not even gonna be in school for the entire week every week or if they only do half the year in school and half the year distant learning and you guys aren't quarantining and I have this baby and I'm trying to move back to Smyrna well Dover you know in November like we have different we're on different pages as far as Corona goes in general right like we're just completely how do you how do you deal with a situation like that I don't know how when the house is divided I mean it's just I don't know I don't know because Will's like not not concerned well he's not really

for like herd immunity or whatever but he's like a lot of these reports are being reported and they're not reporting the fact that all of these deaths were related to something else the person just had Corona and that's what caused the complications which caused the deaths so he's like our child doesn't have any underlying health conditions it's super important for him to be in the classroom with like peers he would regress by not having the socialization and if he's gonna be in sports which he is then he might as well go to school and I get all of that but my concern is what is the protocol for them being in school mine's less the virus and more like you said then being put in plastic bubbles I saw this

one thing online it was a digraph and it showed how they had these dividers out on the playground and they were allowed to play like in basically like cubbies but they couldn't play together and I'm just like okay yeah so for that it defeats the whole purpose of being with your peers and having the social interaction so for me it's not worth the risk right for that you can be home right and at least have some some sense of normalcy and then the other point that I brought up to will is that yes if they are you know doing all this extra sanitation and so on and so forth I get that and they're making the kids stay with you know one specific teacher and you know they're separating them and so on whatever yeah but

they're still congregating on the buses and that's multiple neighborhoods you know kids cross classes on these buses and then you're putting them back into the school so at that point what's the point that's yeah I completely understand that I just I don't know you have parents going off on Facebook saying you know I have to go back to work so the schools have to open well right and that's huge too and well even the teachers that have kids it's like how are they supposed to teach a classroom online for an entire year and have kids of their own who need to get on the computer you know what I'm saying there's there's a lot that goes into it but I don't know how Atlanta works but here in Delaware you have the option

to school choice and so you know say Lincoln is really good for sports and he wants to go he needs to go to a school that you know their sports are really good so he can you know get scholarships or whatever or Isaac is in all AP classes and needs to go to that school so I could have three kids in three different school districts here in Delaware you can school choice them so what happens when not even for me with elementary kids but kids that are in high school that are in different districts and are going to have different their their school districts are going to have different choices I'm sure are different protocols and and situations you know what I'm saying so I mean even still

right now going into the new school year Isaac's going to middle school in one school in the district but Lincoln being transferred to a different elementary school I'm I'm certain that they will have different that's so complicated luckily here so complicated I do like the idea of that I think that other than for pandemic purposes but here it's by your address what you're what school you're districted to so that's how it works like you have one elementary school your address is goes to one elementary school one middle school one high school so you don't get the option to choose anything basically you have if you want your kid at a certain school you have to buy in that district to be able to go to that school so that I feel

like that's pretty common that's how I grew up like you buy a house in that district you pay taxes to that district you do you know what I mean but here in Delaware you can go you can choice your kid to wherever you see fit that's wild but anyway I don't want to just talk about corona the whole time but that is the updates and I'm just like I don't know what to do I feel like we'll and I are gonna get in a fight I'm just like he's not going and we'll say he's going so I'll keep you guys updated on who wins probably me yeah I wanted to talk about will's quote of the day okay are you ready because I don't I'm ready I don't know if you are I'm ready because the quote that he had on the wall for weeks

was just so relevant to things going on in the world that I feel like I need to hear this next quote that he has okay so he actually gave me two for this week and I liked one of them better than the other but he thought the second one he said it's just ten times better and it's an original thought so yeah so the first one was the one I liked it's okay if you fall apart sometimes tacos fall apart all the time and we still love them oh that's my life I love that I might get that as a tattoo actually please don't are you nuts I mean that's debatable that is definitely is that the one that was the original thought no that was the one that I liked and he was like hey that one's pretty good but the next

one's better and I'm like I can't wait to hear it no will anytime we're talking about tacos that's the best so his was you'll either find a way or an excuse it depends on how badly you want it okay that's also pretty good so I'm still for the tacos though you know I'm like well it depends like if you're feeling a little funny and edgy then definitely go with the taco one like if you need a little humor but like if you're like really needing solid motivation I say go with will's original yeah quote original quote yeah right he didn't make that up he got that off freaking Google liar I mean he probably just put one into his own words yeah that's exactly what he did he probably was like reading quotes and

he was like oh I can make it better that's exactly what happened um well so he learned something in high school you're not supposed to plagiarize so I'm pretty sure we'll gotten trouble for plagiarism in college on a paper oh good I think he had to go to like um academic discipline or something like that yeah okay well I'm glad that he got out of it and still graduated that's that's the positive side of thing I graduated for both of us he makes me sick can we um talk about okay I think you might know where I'm gonna go but no I have no I have no idea okay so it was what I was texting you about this weekend about people discipline disciplining other people's children and overstepping boundaries um I need

to know how you feel about it and then I'm gonna lay down the wall okay this is how I feel if my kid is being disrespectful or acting out I have no problem with someone telling my child you know settle down you know you don't act like that whatever as one should if they're you know my son's in the classroom or in a group setting and just acting a damn fool then definitely put them in their place but do not lay your hands on my child that is my rule okay so this is how I feel about it because I feel like you're way less strict about this than I am because I feel like everybody um thinks differently and ways of like what's appropriate what's not appropriate um how they would discipline their kid versus how

you discipline your kid certain things that I might think are okay might somebody might not think is okay um my biggest problem is people disciplining or attempting to discipline a child that does not have children so if you haven't had a child I think it's very hard to walk in the steps of a mother or a dad to know what is appropriate because I think the expectations are a little bit different you have an expectation for a human versus like from a parental standpoint does that make sense yes so I just feel like you always say and I'm I'm guilty of this too before you have kids I feel like you always say like oh my kid wouldn't do that or right my kids I mean even when you're even when you're a

new parent and you have a child you I'm guilty of doing that too like as a new mom oh I would never co-sleep well then my next child I co-slept you know what I mean oh I would never you know breastfeed for over a year and then I breastfed Lincoln for over a year you know like oh just like a lot of things oh I would never let my kid act like that well sometimes life doesn't go that way and things are just very different than what you think they're going to be right so I just feel like if it's something that's blatant like let's just make an example like Jackson's bouncing around in the kitchen and he's about to knock his leg on a hot stove or like something okay definitely call my kid down but if it's nitpicking or

just like doing something that you don't necessarily like that's not your place to do that so I just wanted to talk about it because I feel like more moms that are listening to this are probably going to be like I had a situation that such and such happened and this is how I handled it and it really pissed me off and I don't like people disciplining my kids or I'm fine with other people disciplining my kids I thought it was I think it's hard because it's like I can't say that I'm like okay with someone disciplining my kids but I definitely feel like I'm okay with them I don't know if calming them calming them down maybe correcting yes like I'm perfectly fine with people correcting my children even if I'm present and I don't

see what's going on or my child is truly being annoying like okay yeah correct them but to discipline them or punish them in any way that's a no from me just because you you can just tell me like this is what happened and I can I can discipline accordingly that's how I feel about it too it's like if just come to me as the adult and say this is what happened and let me choose how I'm gonna discipline based off of my parenting right that's how I feel about yeah so if you guys have any stories make sure you call our voicemail don't send it on DM because it's too complicated call on the voicemail leave a voicemail you don't have to say your name whatever if you want to say your name and we'll give you a

shout out cool but yeah so anyway something that we've talked about on here so many times and I am living for this right now is something I saw on tiktok and I got so invested okay Jeffrey Epstein's ex-girlfriend was arrested by the FBI I think last week and I don't even know how to say her name so I'm gonna say I'm gonna call her by her last name which is Maxwell supposedly a photo surface of John Benet Ramsey that she was in I'm sorry what yeah supposedly it's all over tiktok supposedly there is a photo of John Benet Ramsey and in the back of the photo is Jeffrey Epstein's ex-girlfriend who was just arrested by the FBI first of all why did it take her this long to be arrested well I think when you're

being investigated by the FBI it probably takes like a long time before they start arresting because they basically have their case pretty much sealed and done by the time the arrest comes that's like one of the last things that happens but I was watching like all the coverage and everything and you and I were talking a little bit about it over text but it was so strange to me she fled to a rural town in New Hampshire I think Will said that there was only like 1600 residents or something there it was on a big piece of property that she purchased I think it was like close to a two million dollar purchase and she purchased the home in an LLC and the sellers didn't even know there was like a nondisclosure so

they didn't even know who the person was purchasing it all they knew was it was a single white female and they thought it was like an actress or something but actually it was her so first of all where what does she do that she had the money to to purchase an a two million dollar property she was a madam and she courted for Jeffrey well I knew what she did for Jeffrey but what the fuck yeah so I think that's where she got all the money to be able to like afford it I just how do you live with yourself knowing that you are recruiting essentially underage girls for an old man like how do you feel about yourself and there were reports to stating that she was actually part of the abuse and there was somebody that came forward that

said that they would be happy to testify in her federal case about what happened so money is so powerful Lindsay like people will do crazy things for money like that's that's really insane to me and I'm literally scared to kind of I'm kind of scared to talk about it on the podcast because I'm like okay this is such a weird case with so much money behind it and so much power behind it that like what if somebody finds out that coffee combos is talking about it and kills us off like they're not gonna kill us off I will say though I'm scared I feel bad I do feel bad for the other celebrities that knew Jeffrey Epstein and Gillain is that how you say it let's just say Gillain Maxwell the celebrities that had visited his

island and stuff like that because I saw the list and if you watch the docu series or the is it a docu series documentary I don't know what it is it's on Netflix if you watch it you know one of the girls does say that other celebrities were there but that were not directly and they were not involved in the sex ring and the sex trafficking and all of that stuff so I do feel really bad for the names that are being brought into it that truly had nothing to do with that side of things and I think it's just probably part of the investigation everybody is going to be investigated to some degree until they're cleared which sucks because you know I've been involved with people or known people that do shady stuff and not know

it until like way long time until they get like busted for doing something you know not like not like drugs or anything like that but just you know like character things I'm talking about right so I'm like I wonder if that was a situation that was going on in this situation you know like did they know about it or was it so undercover that like nobody knew about it until everybody knew about it do you know what I'm saying right I just I don't know but then Will and I were talking about it over the weekend and I was like if she folds and she starts telling there's going to be a lot of big time names that are going to be on a list that could potentially be indicted and Fox News was reporting that the

people that should be most worried are the Clintons and Prince Andrew so well Prince Andrew I feel like was an actual problem I don't that was an actual issue but why the Clintons I don't remember well I think there's a lot of there's a lot of information that she holds the key to and so I'm like maybe she's going down either way so I would be curious to see if she does start telling on other people or if she just takes it to well because you know they might offer herself they might offer her a plea or she might end up dead you know I mean who knows that's the crazy part yeah you know I did read stuff like that like are they going to say she had complications with Corona are they going to

say she killed herself are they going to say she you know like there's all these conspiracy theories but I'll be curious to see if she does open her mouth and and and give names or if she'll just take it to the chin and then another thing that will and I were talking about two over the weekend was just how when I was watching the documentary I was seriously so disturbed and I couldn't quite understand why girls who are women who had been involved with him who went to you know his home and they were groomed or whatever and under the guise of basically it was just going to be a massage and whatever and then they started recruiting other people I could just never imagine doing that I would have just rather

him killed me or something I think the thing it's it's there's a mental thing that goes into it it's the manipulation it's the grooming you don't think that you I can't even describe it with the right words because I don't want to misspeak but there's definitely a mental aspect to it too I don't think that it's just like a normal person would walk in there and suddenly be groomed and start recruiting people I think that there's a lot of manipulation and a lot of like mental I don't want to call it a game but mental what's the word I'm looking at yeah mental games that go into it I don't I don't feel like I can be manipulated and maybe that's ignorant on my part no I think that there are there are definitely people

who yeah it's like I would tell them to fuck themselves and like walk out but I don't I feel like there are certain people that's why but you have to think of how old they are too like at 15 16 years old true and you're getting paid $200 to massage the this person and and you know do whatever he's but I feel like they also trade on people who I don't want to say necessarily we're weak but I definitely think that predators seek out certain oh absolutely oh absolutely type of personalities there's absolutely they look for characteristics that they know going into it that person can be manipulated I don't think anybody would ever look at me and be like oh that bitch is gonna fall for this like right I just don't

think I would but then again you and I talked about this before on that episode that we did with with Brittany about what was it that it was about brainwashing yeah basically about brainwashing but what was it I don't remember what it was about remember it was about her boyfriend that ended up being like in the army or something like that and yes how he yes manipulated her and you know all this stuff I couldn't understand but I definitely think that it's situational it definitely it varies by person and I think that's it's kind of unrelated but like abusive relationships and stuff like that and people on the outside will be like oh just leave him oh just leave him oh just leave him you actually have no

fucking clue how hard it is to leave you know a meant like a mentally emotional and mental abuse abusive relationship I can't even speak today and an abuse like physically abusive relationship because there's there's a lot more that goes into it and it doesn't affect everybody the same way and so I think that's a good point that you're making because a lot of people don't realize that they just think oh just leave oh just don't do it oh just don't tell so-and-so well yeah you don't know unless you're in it you know what I mean and I think sometimes people get into situations that that's how it becomes toxic patterns because it's almost like unless they have that it's not the norm right so right it's almost like

their life or mind or something like craves being a part of that toxicity I guess would be the word and that's why cycles happen that's why people get involved in abusive relationships and why they last so long and it takes such a long time to either get out of them or something like really bad happens but anyway well yeah I'll be interested I have my eyes peeled and I'm like watching for all the tea to be spilled on this case because I'm just like if she starts talking then there's gonna be some shit that goes down for sure and other news can we talk about we've got like a couple more topics that we need to talk about Britney Spears was one of them Vanessa is it Gullen didn't you do the research on that you posted

about it yesterday no no I know who you're talking about I don't know how to pronounce her last name I believe it's Gean okay but I I'm not I don't speak Spanish so I don't know Gillian might be like the English pronunciation okay well but and Vanessa will say we can say Gillian let's talk about that okay all right well basically if you guys have not heard about who Vanessa is she was a I want to say private yes she was a US Army soldier who authorities believe was killed on April 22nd 2020 inside an armory on Fort Hood so Fort Hood I think is in Texas yeah yeah so she was supposedly beaten like bludgeoned into death with a hammer by another person in the military and I'm just curious what

the relationship was between them did they know each other did they not know each other I didn't do the research on that part but the person who killed her his girlfriend was basically summoned by him to help her help him cover up the body and they dismembered her body I don't understand and then he he killed himself so well he killed himself I read that he killed himself after he had been questioned and they thought that they had like uncovered the body right yes so on that same day is when he took his own life so I did read that there are accusations that she was she had experienced like sexual harassment and stuff like that and so was it by him or was it by somebody else I don't know but I'll

tell you I was terrified of that picture of the girlfriend who was involved she looked so scary and I just don't understand like goes back to that case that we were talking about last week of that man who killed his wife and his two children and then he summoned the girlfriend to help you know like clean up and whatever it's like what goes through these women's minds to know that their boyfriends had done something like this and then they're going to go and clean up after it or assist like I don't I don't get it is it again maybe it goes back to like the manipulation I just don't understand well so one of the articles that I'm reading now says that like she did put in a like a report of sexual harassment

and it says Fort Hood did not return a request for comment on the command climate at her unit but officials say that they take sexual harassment allegations very seriously and there's a series of people on Instagram and Twitter who are saying how they were raped by somebody in the military and reported but they did nothing to the to the rapist and basically they have to live with the rest of the trauma and it says hashtag I'm Vanessa Gillan hashtag justice for Vanessa so that's honestly terrifying and a lot of you guys have sent in messages about this case and to be perfectly honest it just wasn't covered a ton in the media so that's probably why I didn't see it whenever I started going through

messages and stuff that's what caused me to be like what is this because I kept seeing you know messages come in about it to talk about to cover it and then we posted the thing yesterday on you posted on your page and then I reposted on the podcast page and somebody said we were the only podcast that had talked about it or posted about it at all so I'm just like it's so sad to see what gets coverage and then you know what doesn't and there's a lot of things all the things that don't matter you know in life well you know a lot of stuff that gets covered does matter but then there's a lot of things that are so irrelevant in the grand scheme of life that gets covered and then stuff like this just goes I mean

this deserves just as much media attention as the other things going on this is this is horrific honestly it's so sad so if you guys know any more information about it and you want to call in and leave a message just go to our Instagram bio the numbers in our bio and you can call in and give us any information that you have that we don't have next Britney Spears what's okay so I have been following the Britney Spears stuff for some time because at first I thought I didn't realize I don't know why I didn't realize like notice the signs of her mental health deteriorating right before our eyes on Instagram and so she was making you know these videos on Instagram and I was just kind of like laughing with everybody

else but I thought okay I honestly when I first started seeing them kill I'm with you on that I honestly thought it was like a skit or something like she was like doing it yeah like I didn't I was never laughing at her like I just I never I was just like what the hell is going on you know what I mean um but I realized that there's a lot of shit going on with her and I read that basically she has handlers who for her conservative her conservatorship which are intended for elderly people with dementia and she's been under this since 2008 but even being under that she has did she did the I remember when she got the residency in Vegas and she still had albums coming out and she's still doing you know all of these things but

she's under a conservatorship so I'm just so confused by that and then so as I'm reading I'm scrolling on Facebook and I see this long post about her and I'm like wow this is all making sense like her handlers are basically abusing her and abusing their power and not really helping her they're making things worse and so she really her mental health has truly deteriorated okay so Cher actually tweeted and her tweet said question why is a woman being worked if it is known by her conservator that she is not well enough to care for herself yeah exactly I just don't understand that if somebody is truly in a mental state that needs help if you are her conservator why are you not putting her somewhere to where

she can truly get the help that she needs because they they want her money they want her money they're it says in the I don't want to call it an article but it's it's what I was reading about her is basically that they have her stagnant at her net worth at like fifty three million dollars but really they're all they're all getting over four hundred thousand dollar salaries being her handlers and working her and continuing to do these things but she's not allowed to touch any more of her money she has like a two thousand dollar a week allowance that's insane to me and it says in here too that she hasn't seen her kids in months or she hasn't at least been photographed with them so and then I guess

there's charges against her father for abusing one of the boys like hitting him or something assaulting him I just I think the conservatorships work when one maybe it's an outside person outside of the family that wouldn't have a vested interest yeah and a financial gain or whatever but when a person is in a poor mental state that truly needs help the whole point of the conservatorship should be that that person is doing the things that are in the best interest of that person medically and if not then they shouldn't be allowed to hold the conservatorship it says on here this type of conservatorship of a person is typically reserved for when someone is no longer able to feed clothes or bade themselves

and then it says that she's been on multiple worldwide tours performed a residency in Vegas for over four years acted as a judge on X factor and recorded and produced four musical albums while while conserved so if she was competent enough to do all of these things I don't understand right and and does she have the type of conservatorship it seems like the type of conservatorship that she has is literally she's completely controlled by this conservator right so why wouldn't it be maybe something that was only for her medical that she couldn't make medical decisions medical on her own and that you know the system was requiring certain stipulations per this conservatorship to be like okay she has to

be in therapy she has to be maybe in a facility for for X amount of time until she can basically mentally figure it out because that's so sad it really is it's really really really sad I couldn't imagine that being my kid and pimping them out basically to bring in the dough but then know that their mental state is in the shitter it says the conservatorship is currently under investigation her doctor passed away just days before he was due to give his report on her medical care there have been no other findings presented to the courts from the investigation yet as far as we know ensuring all those involved are being paid their salaries of up to $400,000 annually since Brittany has no access to her own fortune

she is granted to a weekly personal allowance of $2,000 with every red cent she spends being logged and reported to the courts meanwhile despite constant raging successes her reported net worth has remained stagnant at 53 million for the entire span of the control with her perfume sales alone estimated at over $1 billion oh my gosh I used to have her perfume oh I used to collect them I had at least the first five of them this is amazing um so that's a problem you should hashtag free Brittany well so that's what it there is it says at the bottom hashtag free Brittany has hashtag boycott Brittany brand and then it says all opinions are my own based on publicly available court documentation conservatorship law and

media articles this article is not intended to cause harm or damage etc etc I'm heartbroken for her because I feel like this is I mean look at Amanda Bynes like early childhood stardom and all of that stuff can really affect people and I don't feel like Brittany's was handled correctly and look at her now it's so so terribly sad and I've actually read Jessica Simpson's book I think I talked about it on here I at least talked about it on my Instagram and it's so crazy to see and I think that you can probably relate to it on a reality TV level of being so young um and being in the spotlight and how that has to have an effect on your mental state and um in years that are super important to you know mental

grow I will literally be in therapy for the rest of my life um not only for childhood trauma and adult trauma but because of being on reality TV I will be in therapy for the rest of my life I promise you like the the impact that being on reality TV and people would be like well why are you still on it then well it pays my fucking bills that's why and I don't think that after I'm off the show I don't know that I'll even be able to get a real job because of all the things that have been filmed about me so um there's a lot that goes into it but I mean you yeah you know being on reality TV it does it's not for the week it is not for the week at all it is not for the week and I feel like

okay what's the alternative you're going to go off of it after you've been on reality TV for why like 11 or 12 years it's like at that point the damage is done like so you keep contributing I guess to the cycle of the damage because it's like damn I mean it's basically people ask me now they're like why don't you walk away now and I said I literally said what you just said when Joe texted me last week he's like have you ever considered walking away I said anything like now I feel like I'm more knowledgeable than ever and so I know what what I shouldn't shouldn't do you know what I'm saying and so the damage all the shitty shit that I've done and all the things that I shouldn't have filmed and

all the things I shouldn't have said is already out there so now I can only try to do better moving forward but I'm not going to walk away when the damage is already done exactly what you just said it's it's insane and I think that again it's situational so you have to be in the situation to understand the situation you know unless you've been placed in that so anyway well we actually have a listener message it came through on our Instagram and I promised the girl that we would cover it so I'm just going to read this one really quickly it says Lindsay and Kale I messaged you a few weeks ago with how much I love you guys and I think I told you about my upcoming wedding that I couldn't be more happy I got

to marry the absolute love of my life on June 13th I'm 20 and my husband is 21 I have no regret and I couldn't imagine being with a better man but I'm finding myself sad or almost depressed due to my age when I tell people about being married and if they find out I'm only 20 I feel so judged and looked down on it's so hard because I know how good he is for me and how I wouldn't want life any other way but I can't shake this feeling of being sad I know you both have been or I know you both have been or are married and I need advice so bad I'm struggling I also started my new anxiety meds around the wedding and I don't know if it could be affecting me also this is the first time I've ever been

on any sort of anxiety medication I love you guys your podcast gets me through some of my late my hardest days well thank you so much for the message and I'm glad that we could help all of our shit show shenanigans I was also married at 20 and had I don't know that I really felt judged by that I think now looking back at it I realize how young I was and why people could have potentially judged me for it it's one of those things where I feel like you can't let other people's like other other people's opinions impact how you live your daily life if you're happy with being married and and that sort of thing then their opinions don't really matter I mean personally I can't imagine being married

right now anyone in my space but Lindsay you were married young too so how do you feel yeah I got married I think I was 21 and looking back on it now I think that I don't know that I would have changed anything I think that everything happens for a reason and I fully believe that and you have experiences in your life for a reason so I think that that was literally my destiny to to do that however looking back on the situation I think that I was so naive to certain things and what marriage actually meant and I think it's so easy to be young and in love and not experienced in life and to think okay this is the right thing for me to do at that time but I think that people need to understand that marriage

is supposed to be a lifelong commitment and when you're making that choice maybe 21 was too young for me to make that choice right okay so that's what I figured that's where you were going with it and that's what I was going to say next is the people that are judging her are probably thinking that she was too young to make that choice and I and I don't think that they mean they're probably not even realizing they're doing it but they also probably don't realize that some people have to make that choice in order to see the bigger picture right like if I never got married at 20 I would not know and and and later divorce I would not know what I want in a marriage and what I don't want in a marriage and really

what what marriage entails and what it involves do you know what I'm saying like I don't think I would be going into a marriage at 30 years old blind and not know what to expect where like now I you know I was married for five years I know what what that's going to require of me and I think when people when older people do it they just don't realize that sometimes younger people need to make that decision sometimes it's for best for them and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't but they needed to make that decision at the time in order to take the next step in their life whatever that may be so I don't really understand the whole judgment thing I mean like you said earlier we're in 2020 I don't know why anyone's

judging anything it's like everything goes right so whatever you're doing that's your business I'm gonna stay on my side of the fence you stay on yours I won't merge into your lane do my own thing I don't care who's getting married who's getting divorced who's shacking up who's doing whatever like I do not care you know but that's probably where the judgment is coming from is just from longer time of life wisdom and more knowledge but if you're happy then you know stay happy stay committed and good luck so anyway well that looks like that's all we have time for today Kale because we're we're over our hour so we will next week I'm gonna read what I posted on my story about labor stories okay okay

yeah next week we can do that and that's perfect because I am actually going to post a picture of Kale and her fam which is half of coffee combos on Instagram this week and I want you guys to guess when Kale's gonna have the baby it's a fun game because I think I think I know when it's gonna happen like my gut tells me but I'm not gonna say it on here yeah I'm gonna comment so I guess that's it we got we will talk to you guys next week wait Kale will you be talking to us next week I'm gonna try next week I'm I think I couldn't swing it for one more week for sure all right so if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram make sure you follow us over there for all updates we now

have a call in line so we will be using that in the coming weeks with your messages super exciting and if you guys have not subscribed to us on the purple podcast app for iTunes you can do that by searching coffee combos type click subscribe click the fit star and leave us a review I hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see ya