124: Evolving Relationships, Kail's Fitness Journey, and Privacy Please
00:00Hey guys, Lindsay's back for another episode of coffee combos and I'm fucking pumped tocatch up.I'm just going to prep his first of all, hello, you're always the one with the idiotchoosing yard equipment at your house.And if anybody hears a weed whacker, a blower, a lawnmower, it's probably will because wepulled into our driveway and he's like, okay, I like have to cut the grass.So he's one of those people that like, once he gets back home, he's got to like, cut thegrass, wash the car, like, do all the things and I love that about him, but also like he
00:48needs to settle down.Just while you're doing the episode.Exactly.I'm like, can you please take your blower to the neighbor's yard, like wherever justnot here.But anyway, so what's up?I haven't, I feel like I haven't talked to you in like two weeks.I mean, I know we text and stuff, but like podcast wise, there's so much shit has happened.
01:10Like this whole entire week for me has been a complete shit show.But how was your week at the beach?I feel like I've been gone forever.I think we were a long trip for you.Yeah, for me, it is a long trip because normally I've had my feel somewhere else after likefour days.I'm good.I'm like, okay, I need to go back to my dwelling and I need to take a shower in my shower and
01:32piss on my toilet.But yeah, it was, it was a long time, but we had a really good time and I feel like itwas a much needed vacation because it was the first place we had been since COVID.So it was much needed.Obviously we've been to the lake and stuff, but that doesn't really count.But yeah.And then as luck would have it, or my luck would have it, I plan this whole trip.It's been planned for months, literally like six months.
02:04And then Hurricane Sally hit days before we were supposed to leave and all of Pensacolawas completely flooded.And then we were still able to make the trip happen, which was such a blessing, but theamount of people that lost things in that hurricane, like you just, if you don't livein that type of environment, you don't understand like how serious those storms are and justdriving past like everything was insane, like for something that happened in such a shortperiod of time to be able to destroy so much.Right.
02:41Right.I can't imagine.But you celebrated your birthday there, right?Or no, you were home for your birthday.I was home for my birthday and then I'm normally so good about like, my house was spotlessbefore I left, but then I guess I forgot to take out like all my sweets and stuff wheneverI came home.And then there was like rotten asparagus in my refrigerator when I got, when I walked
03:02in the door and I was like, what is that rank smell?And I opened up my refrigerator and it's like green juice, like in my lettuce drawer.So nasty.And my cakes and stuff were all molded and so I threw all of that away before we goton the phone and unloaded all of the packages.I just wonder like what people honestly think when they drive past my house, whenever I'mnot here and see the packages, like the amount of packages.They're probably contemplating whether they should steal them.
03:33Yes.They probably wonder what I order.Yes.Do you ever do that?Like drive past somebody's house and you're like, see a bunch of stuff sitting out andthey're like, what?Like, first of all, I need to know where those people are.And then like, secondly, like, what are they ordering off of Amazon?
03:48I don't think I've ever really seen packages on someone's door.So it's like weird how like, I don't know, I feel like I drive by houses all the timeand I never see like packages and stuff, but I always like, because I have like a subscriptionfor like my dog food and just like random shit, like formula and like, I don't know,it comes right to my door.And so like, if people think that they're going to get something good off my porch, likethey're probably not.Exactly.
04:12They're going to get a bag of diapers.Yeah.You're for sure going to get some, some pampers or something.I don't know.For sure.Um, so anyway, so you're filming teen mom, right?Yes.We are filming the rest of teen mom.
04:27And how's that going?Well, it's going well and they're actually going to film coffee combos podcast next monthin Philly when you come.So that's super exciting.Oh my gosh.Well, okay.So I'm kind of nervous, but also not nervous because obviously when we went to the beach,we were still, it was like a controlled environment, right?
04:47So we still could practice safe, um, measures so we can still wear a mask and we were stayingin a condo.So it wasn't like it was, um, crowded or anything like that.And then we drove in the car, but I haven't been to the airport.Have you been to the airport?I have not been to the airport.The good thing is, um, with the new protocols for filming and stuff, um, they're going tosend you like a Corona testing kit and you're going to get results in like two days.
05:16Oh wow.So they're going to send you that.And then I have to be tested for Corona three times a week now.That's the new protocol.So, um, myself, my kids, and then Natalie and Kaden, which are my friends that help a lot.They have to be tested too because they are also filming sometimes.Um, so we all have to be tested three times a week.And then, um, Kristen, we'll get a kit to test before we go to Philly.
05:41And then, um, anyone who is going to be in Philly with us while we're recording the podcastand filming has to be tested prior to going to film.So honestly, it makes me feel really good that they're doing that because it's like,you're not playing the guessing game.Like who's got COVID.Right.Absolutely.Yeah.
06:02But then I've also heard too that airports are so clean right now and everything's justso super safe because they're just, it's also a business to protect, right?So they're just trying to make sure that all the protocols are being followed on the planesand whatever.So I guess we'll see.I don't plan on checking a bag or anything like that.Um, I plan to keep all of my belongings on me and I'm just, I'm excited.I've never been to Philly.
06:30Um, I don't know what else the world is like.It's a really cool city and, um, I don't know if you've ever heard of like, uh, paths orgenos.They're like the famous cheesesteak places.So funny that you freaking say that.Why are you and will the same people?He was like, oh, he said something too.And then the Rocky steps are, are in Philly.
06:48And so there's like a ton of like, and there's museums everywhere.Um, it's, it's a really cool city.He told me he was like, as much as you love Philly cheesesteaks, because I literally, ifthere's a Philly cheesesteak on a menu, chances are I'm getting it.And so he was asking me, uh, he was like asking me about our trip and like what we had plannedor whatever.And I try to explain to him and I have told this to other people too that when we go onpodcasting trips, I think people think that we're like out just like having this like
07:18blast of a time, which we do have a good time, but yeah, we don't really leave a hotel oran Airbnb.Yeah.Yeah.I mean, we were pretty much in there for 12 hour days recording what we can get recordedand do all of our content and stuff.Yeah.I definitely, but you need to go get a cheesesteak while you're there.
07:33Yeah.So he was saying, as much as you love Philly cheesesteaks, you have to go to this placecalled Geno's.And I was like, well, I love that you know so much about it since you've never been toPhilly.And he's like, well, I've, I've seen all about it or whatever.And he was like, you and Kale need to do the video how like that pizza guy from Barstool,um, El Presidente or whatever, how he goes around to all the pizza places and tries pizza
07:56and he like rates them and he's like, um, one bite, you know, the rule.And then he like rates it, I think between like one in 10, I'm sure people that are listeningto this will understand if their husband is a Barstool fan, but, um, yeah, Will's totallyinto it.And he's like, y'all need to do a spin on that, a Philly cheesesteaks and it's like,I'm totally down because I will eat you out of house and home with a Philly cheesesteak.I actually don't like cheesesteaks at all, like of any kind.Why?
08:25Yeah, explain.I don't know.Like they're just like not my thing.Like they're just not my thing, but I just know like anyone that has come to visit, I'vealways taken them to Pat's and Gino's like, um, my friend, Tony, who came, I've takenher there and just like, I don't, she lives in Vegas.So when she came to visit, we went there, um, I don't, I just don't like it.Well, I'm so excited.
08:51I'm going to take you perfect.I knew that you loved me.I knew that you would take one for the team.You're going to eat like one half and I'll eat the other half.It'll be like a date.Okay.I'm down.Since you've never been on one, I'm going to officially, I guess you're taking me on
09:05a, on a date, but I'll buy the cheesesteaks.Perfect.So perfect.So anyway, um, yeah, Jackson has like a crazy week at school.Um, actually I have an update on school.Let's hear it.So I know that you've probably had a hellacious week with school this week and I've justbeen like, did you just use hellacious?
09:42Yeah.Like hellacious.Isn't that a word?Like that's amazing.What is that?Let me look it up.Okay.Continue while I look it up.
09:50I probably said it wrong, but it's fine.Um, anyway, so while I was, you know, drinking mojitos by the pool, you were like pullingyour hair out with your kids on zoom, which is kind of, but yeah, so we actually got anemail before we left for the beach that was saying that there was enough people that wereopting back into the school option since we, you know, have the option here and his digitalteacher would change to a new teacher.So not very happy about that.Um, however, there have been no reported cases at his school.
10:28So we're kind of on the fence and we have to make the determination this week on whatto do, because if he goes, if he stays digital, he's going to be with a teacher that is inanother school, like not his school, it would be another school like around here.And there's going to obviously be that change.And I just feel like it would almost like being, being, being like a new kid, um, you'rejust having to like relearn all the rules and everything.So I know that I said previously that we were going to keep him home, but I think we'releaning towards sending him back because one, there have been no reported cases at his school,
11:11which knock on wood, but two, it's going to actually be his teacher, um, that would beteaching him.So it would be a smoother transition.So if you guys believe in the power of prayer, pray for me this week, because I think hehas three tests and, um, we're going to be probably making that transition.So anyhow, how has your digital learning experience been going?You know, I thought it was going to be more structured.Like I've said on a couple podcasts now, like more like Jackson's, and I think that it,
11:44it would be great if it was, but it's just, it's just not.I mean, the other day Joe texted me and was like, Isaac's on zoom and it's literally 12minutes long.Like that's it.So I, we were both kind of frustrated.And then, um, so Joe sends Isaac back over here for my week and the, um, it's like, Idon't know, there's like five assignments that he didn't complete.So like literally if you miss like one click or one link, you miss an entire week's worth
12:14of work for, you know, one book or whatever.And so I texted Joe and I was like, Hey, did you know that these assignments were missing?And he's like, Oh wow, like, no, I didn't.So we're plant trying to play catch up on top of the minimal work that he gets here.And then still trying to like supplement, giving him more work.Um, and it's just kind of been just like a little weird.So, um, they actually start in the middle of October to go back two days a week.Um, and that I don't know how long that goes on.
12:42I don't know how long the hybrid situation is.I'm hoping that they would be in school full time by January.Well, let's keep our fingers crossed that, that that is the case.I, my whole purpose of the digital learning was basically, I just didn't want all thechange.So like them go to school and then, you know, a classroom be quarantined because the waythat they're doing it here, if a classroom is quarantined, they're not receiving theinstruction online for those days that they're out of school.
13:10So if they're on a 14 day mandatory quarantine, they're not moving to digital because theirclass is quarantined.So I was like, for those reasons I'm completely out because there's no way to, I was justthinking back like in March, uh, how crazy it was trying to keep up with all the shit.And I was like, I'm just, I'm not doing this.So it's been nice to be able to have some form of consistency, but I will be glad forhim to be able to go back to school because he needs to, you know, have association withhis friends.
13:41He talked to his little girlfriend on FaceTime, um, actually yesterday and, um, she's so excitedfor him to be coming back to school, but, um, yeah, so I think our kids will probablygo back around the same time because I think his is October 13th or 14th, I think.So fingers crossed that like it all gets, all goes smoothly.Yeah.And gets sorted out.Um, anyhow, I have to address this and I think you probably already know what I'm goingto talk about.
14:11Um, but yesterday I was sitting on the beach for our last day.And I kept getting these notifications on my phone, but I couldn't see them on Instagram.And I was like, what the heck is going on?And then I was like, okay, obviously like Instagram's glitching.Is it deleting my account?Like has my account been hacked?Like whatever what's going on?Yeah.
14:34So, um, then I go and check my DMs, which by the way, if you have sent me a DM in the last,let's go ahead and stretch it out to 12 days.And I haven't responded and I'm very sorry for that and I will be responding like asquickly as I can, but I truly was trying to take like a complete mental break.Um, but anyway, I go and check my DMs and it's all these screenshots of stuff.And I'm like, what is this?So then I was able to go and investigate.Supposedly it was national daughter's day and I think that we talked about this on the
15:09podcast actually the same time last year, um, that the same thing happened.And then, um, I just haven't responded to anything because there were posts that mydad and Julie made on their Instagrams that were like saying happy national daughter'sday to Savannah or something like that.And I feel like two sides of it, right?So I feel like if you're going to do it to be petty, then you just shouldn't post itat all because then you're just like showing your cards.Um, but also if you're going to do it, like make sure you're doing it from a genuine place.
15:56If you just like don't consider me your daughter, don't go on your podcast and be like, Oh,well, you know, I still love her.I still this.I still that.And then your actions aren't consistent with what you say, right?Your actions and your, what you say have to match.And they just don't.And so I don't want to give a ton of time to it.
16:18I just, I am working on some other projects, which you know what those are.And so I just, I'm so excited for you to actually announce that by the way.Like I was hoping you were going to talk about it today.I know you're not going to like say what it is because it's too soon.But like I'm super excited for the project because at first I was like, why don't I evenknow what this is?But now I know.Yeah.
16:41But now you know.Um, but anyway, I just don't want to give too much energy to negative things.And I know that you're kind of in that same place with therapy and whatever.Um, I just need to reserve my energy for other things that I have going on and I'll justkind of leave it at that and that, um, can be emotionally exhausting already reservingit for that.So I'm just, I appreciate all the messages that everybody sent me and, um, the commentsand then, you know, of course, then you get the Google alerts and it's like, you know,
17:19I was slant or he was slammed because I was shunned and it's just, it's like a never endingsaga that I'm just like, um, but anyhow, um, moving on from that, I just have to say thisbecause I was looking at your Instagram a few minutes before we got on here, um, whenI was completing the ride home, Creed looks so much like you to me that it just like freaksme out.I just don't see it.Everyone keeps saying that, like especially today and I'm like, I literally think thatpeople say that because he's like fair skin and has blue eyes.
18:03I don't, I really don't see it.It's something about like his mouth area or like something.I don't know.Like when I look at him, I literally feel like if I had been looking at you as a baby,like that's what you would look like is that weird?I'm going to find, I'm going to ask around.Maybe my family have like baby pictures of me or you can ask Susie.I'm not asking Susie.
18:31She probably doesn't even have baby pictures.I don't even know.I'm dead.Oh, speaking of, um, I actually personally got a bunch of messages about that too.Um, did it air on teen mom?Yes.About your mom calling you?Yes.
18:46Yeah.I got a ton of messages about that too.Like, well, if you pretty much saw the whole thing in real time and then people were like,was that staged or whatever?And it's like, no, like that, no, it definitely wasn't.And that's what the crazy part, like, I guess it wasn't very crazy.Like looking back, it's like, I guess it wasn't that insane because my, my grandmother haddied, um, not that long before that phone call.
19:07And so I think my mom just like didn't realize that I already knew because of my, my familycall.Like I stay in contact with like my cousins and like my aunt and uncle will check infrom time to time.Um, you know, I don't see them all the time, but I'm still, I'm still, I still have conversationswith them and you know, I'll see them once or twice a year.Um, but I don't think my mom realizes that.And so they actually told me before they told my mom because everyone kind of has written
19:37off my mom.Um, so it wasn't too crazy to think that she called and no, it wasn't staged.Um, I will say the thing that pissed me off about that phone call and I didn't rememberthis prior to rewatching it was when she says in the conversation that she sends gifts andcards that that happened one time that literally happened in the past, I don't know, sevenyears, eight years.She's only done that one time.So that was super irritating.
20:06And I didn't actually remember that until I rewatched it.So I actually saw a comment specifically about that and oh really?Yeah.And I was like, well, Cal needs to be honest about like hiding the cards or whatever fromher kids.And I don't hiding them.Here's the thing.I'm not going to hide them from my kids.
20:28My kids don't need to have cards that I can't explain.So if my mom is not willing to be sober and healthy enough to have a relationship withmy children, I'm not going to give them cards and gifts from my mom when I can't explainwhy she can send cards and gifts but can't have a real relationship with them.That doesn't make any fucking sense to me.So no, it's not about hiding them.It's that we've gotten, I want to say it was, so I've been in this house for a year.So maybe it was last Christmas or the Christmas before we got, we did get three cards, three
21:03gifts.And there was a problem with that too, because my mom wrote an entire paragraph to Isaacand she did not write anything to Lux or Lincoln.So again, that's a huge problem to me.And no, you're not going to be a part of the kids lives because I don't, I can't explainto my kids, oh, I do have a mom, but you can't see her because she's sick because XYZ, buthere's some gifts from her.Like no, what does that teach my kids?
21:30Absolutely the fuck not.Well, obviously.I don't relate to like the substance abuse, like the, those issues, like I can't relateto that part of it.However, I have experienced that a little bit too, and just I 100% agree with you thatif there's no relationship there, that maybe the person who is sending it, I've tried toget in the mind of the, the person that's sending it, right?And it's like, okay, did they, for whatever reason, randomly go to Target or randomly
22:09see something that they were like out at a shop or something and they were like, oh,well, maybe Jackson would like that.Do they send it because they feel a sense of guilt or do they send it to clear conscience?Do they send it like, like what is the reason behind sending it?Like I need to know that and then also you're sending a Christmas gift to my house.First of all, if that doesn't say enough, the fact that you're mailing a Christmas gift.Um, yeah, that's, that's a, that's a red flag right there.Right.
22:49Like that's, that's a red flag and it's like, I'm not going to ruin my kids Christmas ormy Christmas for that matter because I'm trying to think of how to explain why a person wouldbe again, why we need to rain shirts, like would be so freaking deranged that they wouldbe like, Oh yeah, it's a good idea for me to, to send this gift, even though this persondoesn't really even know that I exist, like, I don't know how to explain that.Like I don't know how.Yeah.So it's like, okay.
23:24The person that made a comment about like hiding car.Yeah.Like, so you're, you're kind of experiencing the same thing.Like how, why, why should we be in a position to have to explain it because they have aguilty conscience or they don't know how to have a real, like they can't have a real relationshipwith our kids.Like, why should we have to try to explain that you can't have it both ways.You're not going to, you're not going to send my kids gifts from a distance and not have
23:54a real fucking relationship.No.Thank you.So I could like put a million likes on that comment.Like it would, the sound of the likes would be like, because I'm like, Oh my gosh, I,I completely 100% relate and agree.Did I tell you about the time that I got the package at Christmas and I opened it up andobviously like I knew the brand where it came from.
24:21It was a fan favorite brand in my house, like absolutely love it.But then I opened it up and I didn't order anything from it.So I'm like, okay, well that's weird.And maybe it was just coming from the brand directly because, you know, sometimes we doget stuff from brands that just like send it somehow, they get our address, whatever.Yeah.So I get this package.I open it up and there's a card in there and it says from your secret admirer.
24:51So at that point I get freaked out because I'm like, okay, who is this creep that issending something to my house from a brand that we love with a secret admirer card?Like it's weird.And so I actually called the store and asked and they told me who sent it, but yeah, Iwas just completely creeped out and I never, I never gave it to Jackson because it justdoesn't make sense.It's like, yeah, no, it's, it's, that's, I just, it's not hiding.It's just like right now I don't think that we really need to explain it to them.
25:27And if it's, if they don't have a real relationship with them anyway, they don't need, it justdoesn't make sense.I say it like muddy as the water, right between it's, yeah, and it's like the fact that sheeven tried to say that it was multiple times, it was like, we received it once and no, likeit's not like you're even consistent with that.Like you're not even consistent with sending, you know, cards and gifts on every birthdayand every Christmas.And you know what I mean?
25:55Like you did it one time.So no, like.And it's like kids grow up so fast.And I think people also like forget that kids are so resilient.Like something that Jackson might have known or your kids might have known whenever theywere younger, just because that's not a part of their life, it just kind of comes and goes.Kids only focus really on what is in their daily life, like from their day to day.So I just don't really have the issues of like wanting him wanting like or desiring a
26:33relationship or whatever, because we have a very open line of communication.So it's just, it's not there.And I think that from some of the messages that I read from your situation, it was almostlike you're depriving your kids of something that doesn't even exist.Right.Right.They don't know what they're missing.They don't.
26:52Right.So it's insane.Anyway, moving on from that, I love whenever you freaking go on live when Lincoln is playingfootball.Like, I just love it.It's literally like, like a lot like you're watching football at home, you know, I getexcited to do it.I'm like, come on.
27:22He did score a touchdown today.I don't know if it was on live though.Was he so excited?Yeah.He was pumped.Um, he, he usually gets at least one touchdown, but the one game I want to say it was liketwo weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago.He had four touchdowns and you know, I'm just, I get so excited and proud and it's so crazy
27:43because so, um, I don't know if I've said this before in the podcast or if I've saidit on live, but so Lincoln's cousin plays football on his team, which is Javi's nephew.Okay.But then Lux's cousin is also on Lincoln's team.So it's just kind of cool because Lux's family is there for, you know, them and then Lux getsto see them and then look at Lincoln also gets to see like his extended family at hisgames and, and also Eli and Lux play, which is like, you know, I've talked about it before,like Lauren and I are just like not on that level yet.
28:23Like we're just not there, but we acknowledge each other through the kids.So it's like, Hey, Eli, and then that's like me acknowledging Lauren and then like Laurenwill acknowledge Lux and it's like, okay, we're all cordial.We're all civil.You know what I mean?Um, but we're really all there for Lincoln, which is kind of cool.So, um, Sundays are pretty good.Like I really do like Sundays.
28:44I feel like that, um, in that situation that over time that whatever that, um, relationshipis supposed to be will naturally evolve without any outside influence or like you having toforce something or her having to force something.It's like when the perspective is right, um, and it's on the kids, then that's all thatmatters.Like that's a good point.And I, I guess I never really thought about that until right now is like, yeah, I feellike up until this point, there's been so much pressure to just automatically jump into
29:18like being civil and trying to get on to, um, try to get to where me and VR, you know,and it's just, it needs to happen naturally.It can't be forced and that's, that's the bottom line is like, you know, and I don'tthink that people really think about the fact that we're fucking human and we have feelingsand there's a lot that goes into co-parenting and, and, and it does need to happen naturally.So yeah, you're right.That's a really good point.Lindsay.
29:43Well, and I think too on that point that sometimes I think the waters can be muddieda little bit when the person that's trying to force that the hardest is the person thatyou've both been with, right?So it's like, I'm not saying that this happened.I'm just using Harvey as an example.So like if Harvey was trying to like force you to have a relationship with her and he'slike trying to force her to have a relationship with you, obviously that's going to naturallycreate tension there when it's not on your terms.
30:12Right.Right.I agree.I agree with you there too.I definitely think that's, there's a lot to be said about all of that and I'm glad thatyou're actually saying that.It's weird too.Like because I can feel myself getting to a good place with it.
30:27And so it's like also weird.It's like the Twilight Zone.Like I'm realizing that I'm getting to a good place, but it has been happening naturallylike through football, through the kids, through that, but I don't, it, it almost made, it'sit's almost like, have you ever been in a position where someone asks you to do somethingor tells you to do something and you specifically don't want to do it because you were askedor told to do it, but you would, you would have done it on your own.Oh, absolutely.
30:53That's basically every day of my life.Like that's, that's how it is.Like I swear to God, even when I'm filming and stuff for like Teen Mom, my producer Patrickwill be like, Hey, can you call, um, can you call Kristen or can you call Lindsay and letand tell them what just happened?And it's like, no, like now I'm pissed because I was going to do it anyway.And I don't like that you just asked me to, because if you would have just let thingshappen naturally, I would have done it on my own, but like, I get it.
31:17Like they have a job to do.So I think it's kind of like that, but yeah, so it's exactly like that.Because you don't want your life to feel so forced and like something has to happen.You want things to happen on your terms and what feels most natural and comfortable foryou.And I wanted to present a great, like I honestly, I, maybe it's just because I can't relatebecause I'm not like in a divorce or separated situation.But in the sense of like thinking about being in that situation, and maybe it's because
31:58I am in love with Will that I think this way.Maybe if I hated him, it would be like a different thought, but the thoughts of him being withsomebody else and that person imprinting on my child literally makes me crawl out of myown skin.Yeah.It's hard.It's really, really hard.I don't even know how humans do it.
32:23And maybe you get in a better place when you're not romantically involved with the other person.I don't know.Like I've tried to put myself in the shoes of somebody who is walking through that andbe like, okay, well, I would never be cool with that.And it's like, until you've done it, you don't really know.I say that confidently.Like I would say until you've had a kid, you shouldn't be commenting on people's parenting.Yeah.
32:52Until you've been there, don't comment on it.But yeah, more power to you.Like I love the fact that you guys are all getting along so well.And part of it probably is just things naturally just falling into place the way that it should.And then just growing up and you kind of run out of things to fight about at some point.You know, it's like, I don't know that there was ever like a fight or anything.I just, there's a lot that goes on that isn't filmed, you know, and so, and, and the weirdthe thing is that and I, and this might be controversial and I don't even know if, if
33:34Javi's going to appreciate me saying this, but Javi, I have a different kind of relationshipwith Javi where like he knows that he knows where my loyalty is.So like that whole time when we were getting, when we were getting divorced and he sat thereand you know, Kale cheated, Kale this, Kale that, Kale that, Kale did this, you know,whatever.And I kept my mouth shut.I never even defended myself.And you know, when the whole scandal happened last year, like the first person he called
34:02was me, like he knows where my loyalty is.And I think that that, we don't speak about it.And so, but that, that is a factor.No, we are not romantically involved anymore, but we, I do have a sense of loyalty to him.And I don't know if it's because he was the first person I ever married.And I don't know because we were married and we had a baby.Like it, it was very different than Joe and it was very different than Chris.I don't know what it is, but I think Javi knows where my loyalty is.
34:28And so that, not that it blurs lines because like I said, we're not romantic, but, butI think that's there, that's a factor in all of it too.So that was kind of, I definitely agree.And I think just because you went through different things with Javi, like every relationshipis different, right?So because you went through different parts of your life with him and then I think theway that he has responded to stuff and then, um, how you respond to things, it's like,I don't know.
35:06I just see you guys more not romantically involved, but as a unit, yeah, like if I don'tthink Javi and I should have ever even been romantic, I think we should have just alwaysbeen best friends.Like that's really what it boils down to is like, like as far as loyalty goes, you knowwhat I mean?Yeah.Yeah.I mean, isn't that funny?
35:27I've heard so many people say, um, they have, have gone through divorce situations or likebig breakups or whatever, saying that had we just remained friends, like we could havebeen best friends for like a lifetime, but because we blurred those lines and got romanticallyinvolved, then it messed up everything.So that's so interesting.Um, anyway, I want to tell you, I'm looking, I talk about this, if you guys follow me onInstagram, you probably think I'm a psycho plant mom, but like I kill all my plants andwent to the beach, come back, my fiddle fig, I had put it on the porch cause I was like
36:03mad at it.I can't.I was mad at it.So it was like, I'm going to put you on the porch and like I said, like be with nature,like do your thing girl and had her on the porch and all of a sudden she started growinglike these random like little green sprigs and I told Will, I was like, is that, um,like little fiddle fig leaves, like miniature ones, or is that like weeds?And he was like, no, I'm pretty sure it's like little leaves.
36:29Just leave it alone.Do you realize I haven't touched that plant since I put it on my porch and that bitchis thriving like what she just has so many leaves.Like she looks so happy.I love that you refer to it as she.Yeah.Like it's like, like a person.Like I've referred to all my plants, like they probably need names and I know people
36:52that like literally name their plants, like share, sunny, like all these different things.And it's kind of like, I'm going to name one post and one Malone.That's amazing.You need to post them so I can see them and see if they thrive or if you're just neglectingthem.I mean, a little bit of both.Like it really depends on the week.I need to tell you, I need to tell you about this show that I started watching on Netflix.
37:21I thought you were about to be like, I need to tell you about the show I'm about to beon.Uh, no, I can't take on any more things at the moment.Like if they asked me to be on another show, I would have to like cancel your life.Yeah.Because I literally can't take on any more like things.Um, no, I watched this show called love on the spectrum.Have you seen it?
37:43I've been wanting to watch this so bad.So tell me you knew about it.I knew about it, but I haven't watched it, but I've been wanting to watch it so bad.So tell me everything.It's so sweet.Um, so my friend bone was here, um, the other day and she told me about it.Um, and it's so interesting.Like, you know, I guess I never, I never really thought about, you know, love on the spectrum.
38:10Like I never thought about it.Never really crossed my mind.And so seeing some of the, the, um, challenges that they, that the people face on the showis kind of heartbreaking.And there was one part of one of the girls, she wants to go on a date or whatever.And the, and the interview, the mom says, you know, that she worries about her daughterlike being alone and you know, she's not going to live forever.And so who's going to really love and care for her daughter.
38:37And so like that's like really, really heartbreaking to think about.And, um, I don't know, the show, and they all have such amazing personalities that it'slike, damn, like they do deserve love.Like, come on.Oh my gosh.I want to, now that you've said that you're watching it, I've got to watch it now.Do you remember that one show?I don't know.
39:01It was like a long time ago.Well, I don't know if it was a long time ago.I'm pretty sure it was on MTV.This is a completely different topic, but it just made me think of it.It was about like the siblings that this person had, um, from like the sperm donors.Okay.Do you remember this?No.
39:19I'm pretty sure it was on MTV, but it was like documentary style and it was like thisgirl documenting, um, finding all of these people who shared her same dad and it waslike from a sperm donor.Oh wow.I would love to watch that.I've got to think of the name of it.I'll have to go and look it up now that you say that's fascinating, but no, it's, it wasso fascinating.
39:44And I watched it.Will was like, what the hell are you doing?And it's like, you need to calm down, like kill was a football video that popped up.I'm so sorry.Are you fine?I'm not fine.I thought that music was playing for me.Oh, I mean, you did bring up a very interesting show that I would love to watch.
40:06So I would applaud you.Could you imagine if we just like started adding sound effects like into the podcastafter we did, can we please on one episode, like, please, it would just be funny.Like, like claps, just like funny, like, like screaming's, um, I don't even know.Wait, did you look up what that word was that I was saying?Yes.And you were right.It means great, bad or overwhelming.
40:30Holatius.You're right.Holatius.Well, it could be all of the above to be perfectly honest.Honestly, I feel like that word describes my week.Like there was good.There was a lot of good.There was a lot of bad.
40:42There was a lot of overwhelming, but it was just Holatius, like the all of it, like.And also deranged.I can't.I just need a shirt that says that or like a baseball cap that says deranged.Just something so that everybody knows that when they see you coming, like, just don'task deranged.That's it.Well, that's so funny.
41:05All right, y'all, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our newest partners,Bartleby Wright.For those of you who have not heard of it, it is a monthly writing help subscriptionservice and this subscription service provides students with grammar and spelling checkers,a plagiarism checker, a citation tool and preliminary score.This is something that I totally wish that I had whenever I was in college because itwould have made me feel so much more confident with my writing.So basically you just copy and paste or upload a writing sample directly from your Google
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42:21After your free trial starts, your subscription will automatically renew at 9.99 a month unlessyou cancel and you may cancel at any time.Write better right now, submit papers with confidence.Moving on from that, we need to freaking talk about your gym journey because I've been watchingyou like the whole time I've been eating like Oreos and stuff at the beach.Oh, yeah.And I'm like, what is she doing like listen, I'm happening.So the gym that I go to has like you wear they have their own harnesses and stuff and
43:03they have resistance bands that you connect to them.So all of the movements and the workouts and stuff like that are all resistance based.So I will tell you, did I have, we talked about the gym at all.We talked about, well, there was a lot of articles, I guess, because we talked aboutyou drop him 50 pounds and joining Air Force.But then that was it.Listen to Lux.Mom.
43:31Do you hear him?He's fine.Yeah, I heard him.He said, he's fine.He's fine.He's not fine.He's unwell.And he's on the hunt for you like.
43:43He wants snacks and it's almost dinner time, so bless him.That's my life story.Jackson's always trying to get snacks right around dinner time and I'm like, stop, likeyou're not going to eat your whole meal.He'll want to eat a snack like literally 30 minutes before and then not eat any of hisdinner.And it's dinner.That wasn't the plan.
44:03Yeah.Anyway, sounds like he situated moving on.So the gym stuff, so it's resistance based and I, if I, if I didn't say this on the podcastbefore, I don't remember what was said, but the first day back at the gym was last Fridayand I cried not because I couldn't do the workout, but I cried when the coach was like,okay, let's take, you know, your, your progress photos.It's just like day one pictures, right?And at home, it's one thing to walk around in like my leggings and a sports bra and I
44:38feel fine.But after completing an hour workout and it's a type of super intense working out that I'venever done before.That was already humbling and I was already like, wow, like I have a long fucking wayto go.But then it was like, okay, now take off your shirt and you know, we're going to take thesepictures and I was like, oh my fucking God.So I, I'm holding back tears and I'm like, this sucks.
45:02But you know, the coach's name is Charlie and he was like, this is why you're here.Like this is why you're here.But I mean, I'm a little over a week in now and I'm, it must have been two weeks ago.So we must have talked about this.No, we didn't talk about your progress pictures and you crying.No, we didn't.We didn't.Okay.
45:23And I didn't even know that because you didn't tell me that like in real life.Yeah.That was, it was really, really hard and, and extremely humbling.Like you, you think you look good until you get in the gym and you're like, oh, wow, likethere's so much more I could be doing.And then I got an, an Instagram question yesterday.I was, I did some like question and answer or whatever and, and someone asked like, aren'tyou tired?
45:44Like don't, what motivates you?And it's like, honestly, I am so fucking tired all the time and I have four kids, but atthe end of the day when I'm eating like shit and I'm not working out and I, and I'm, I'mnot in my best, you know, fit, um, you know, I'm not, I'm not in your best shape like inmy best shape.Yeah.I mean, I'm going to feel even more like shit because I'm eating, I'm putting shit inmy body.
46:08And so I'm just like, I want to get to a place where I am able to consistently keep up withmy kids without being tired all the time and, and feel good about what I eat.I just want to, I want to enter my thirties like that.And so that's what really motivates me.I just, you know, and it is a really huge stress relief.Like yesterday was an awful day and, um, you know, I had some shit going on.And so I was like, I'm not going to do any of that until I go to the gym because I knowonce I leave the gym, I'll have a clear mind about what I want to do and how to handle
46:36a situation and, and we'll go from there.And so I'm happy to be back in the gym.Um, it's not as many days as I would like, but, um, you know, I have four kids.So I get there whenever I can tomorrow, I'll go at like nine 45, I'll go.Well, at least you're going and you're making progress in the right direction.And yeah, for sure.Eventually all of your kids, I know it seems like a very far way away.And I say eventually all of your kids will be like in school and preschool, but then
47:06you're going to have a fifth child.So it's like, I love how you say it so casually.Like it's a fact.Like, well, I just know, like it's going to happen.So it's just like, okay, well, I'm not going to set you up for like that failure to belike, Oh, well, eventually all your kids will be in preschool and then you'll be like ableto go to the gym whenever you want to, or whatever it's like, yeah, probably not.Probably not.
47:27Like that's going to happen when you're like 50.Right.I'll be like, yeah, exactly.And we all know that it's funny that you say that though, because we'll and I were bothtalking about how we have just like completely neglected workouts since school started basicallybecause it's just so hard to try to like juggle all the things.And so I try to go on walks and stuff, but it's just not the same of getting a good workoutin like, obviously anything's better than nothing, but it just doesn't feel the same.
47:55And I said to myself this morning when I woke up, like not another week is going to go bythat I'm not going to register myself into some kind of like workout class or something.So that I have some form of schedule to be like, okay, I'm definitely doing this.And it's like accountability for me, right?Like I know that I need to be there at a specific time to do that workout and like I'm payingfor it.Right.A hundred percent.
48:20Otherwise, if it's just on my terms, it's like, okay, well, I can go to the gym at likeeight o'clock at night because everything's done or I can, you know, wake up and go atfive o'clock in the morning and then it never happens.I was going to say something about the workouts like, I don't know if you've ever felt likethis, but when you go workout and you're like, wow, that was so difficult and you feel likein the moment you're like, Oh my God, am I even like, I'm trying so hard, but I'm notreally getting anywhere.Did you ever feel like that in the workout?
48:52Yeah.I hate that feeling.And I can't wait to get to a place like when I'm more fit that I'm like, okay, wow, likeI did every single movement.I never stopped moving.Like I don't stop moving now, but I wish that I had like more in me to like, but I'm justnot there yet.I feel like you're that type of person that works out and like you're totally into like
49:11the form and like all of that stuff.And I'm not really into that shit.Like I'm just like,Yeah.I hate sometimes when you say stuff, it's not even what you say it's, it's how you sayit.You're like, I'm not even into that shit.Like,
49:25I'm just not like,I know, butI will just like see somebody like working so hard at the gym and it's like they're likemaking sure they're like, all right and everything.And it's like, okay, good and great, but I don't really have the patience for that.And it's like, I'm really only working on glory muscles at this point anyway.So it's like, I'm going to get on the fucking bike and I'm going to ride for like five miles.And then I'm going to go and do a couple of these little leg things because that looks
49:46like it'll be good.And then I'm going to go and like push down on this with my feet because it'll be goodfor my butt.And then I'm going to do a couple of squats and then that's going to be good.And it's like, who knows if I'm doing the right form or any of that shit properly.I mean, if you feel like you're doing it wrong or you feel weird and like if you feel likeyou're lifting something with your arms and your back hurts the next day, you were probablydoing it wrong.
50:06Probably.That's happened before.I also learned form and CrossFit.And so it kind of like helped me that I learned how to do form thing, like how to positionmy body.And then when I go over here, it's a lot easier in that aspect.I hate CrossFit.Like I actually, that's a bold face lie.
50:25I've never CrossFitted or if that's what it's called.But like when Will goes downstairs and tries to like set me up a workout.We've talked about this before, but it's like for reps and time.It's like, no, I'm either doing time or reps.Like it's not both.Right.Right.Because then, then my form really is messed up because I'm trying to go so fast.
50:48And then it's not going to be right.So I would rather, you know, semi do it right on a slower pace than definitely fuck it upgoing fast.Like, right, right.For sure.I mean, it definitely takes time to get to a place for it to be time and reps.But like, if you're not there yet, maybe just do the form for the reps.And are you trying to make my heart explode?
51:10Like maybe, like maybe he is, but that's how I feel.I'm like, I tell him every single time I go down there and he does this, I'm like, I'mnot messing with you today.Like it's either time or reps you choose.Don't care.Like I can do 30 seconds and however many I get in 30 seconds, or we can do, you know,five sets of 10, whatever.We're not doing like 10 and 15 seconds.
51:35Like you're literally on drugs.Like I don't even know.I don't even know what to tell him.Oh, but I have this funny message that like I have to read.Okay, I'm ready.Okay.So it says loyal listener for a long time.You two are awesome dynamic.
51:51You had talked about interruptions in school classrooms.Here's a funny one for you.There's a little girl in my daughter's class that always asked to go to the bathroom.And the teacher always go to the bathroom, laugh out loud when the teacher always saysif you need to go to the bathroom, totally fine.It's hysterical stuff.This girl on mutes and talks about also our school and neighboring schools have been hackedwith porn.
52:13Yes.And we went to open up a video what called Hagman videos.A lot of us clicked on it and it was a woman taking her shirt off.Another I heard was male genitals.How the hell are those pervs doing this?We have videos and live classes.Apparently it's happening on both.Just curious if you guys have had any virtual hacks.
52:33It's getting ridiculous in our district.I hope you guys have the best week looking forward to next week.What the hell?Yes.So Natalie's son, Caden was telling me about, I'm pretty sure it was him or it might havebeen.So I don't know who it was.Did tell me that their zooms were canceled because of the porn.
52:51What?Yes.I want to say it was Caden, but it may have been someone else that I was talking to likein my area and was talking about how they were canceled because of that.Yeah.Hacking was Zoom or something along those lines.Yeah.Definitely crazy.
53:06And how do you hack a whole system like that?Like that's so weird.I have.And like why?Like why?I have no idea, but like what the hell?If that happened, I would literally call, no, I would, yes.I would call 9-1-1 and I would be like, there has been an emergency at my house.
53:32My son's laptop is on fire because I set it on fire because I just witnessed this.I said my son's laptop is on fire because I set it on fire.Yes.Like I could not even freaking imagine.Like if that happened, what do you say to your kid that doesn't know anything aboutthat?What do you say?You say, I set your laptop on fire because it's on fire.
54:00You said because it's on fire.What?You said because it's on fire.Like, oh my, like, Kale, like my eyeballs would bleed like if that happened.Oh yeah, I would be so upset.Yeah.Because how do you explain that to a child?Like you, I don't know how you would even try to cover that up.
54:23You know what I mean?How would you even try to break it, break it down?Like you can't.You can't.I would be like a race at all from your memory.Like I would be getting him hypnotized.Like I would be doing some weird, I would go and be going to extreme measures.Yeah.
54:42You don't know how you would even correct that.That is so traumatizing.Like, can you imagine these kids that are like going to grow like, they might forgetabout it for the, for a little while, but then when they get older and like, rememberthat one time during the pandemic when, oh wow, that was porn that came on the zoom.Got it.Got it.Can you imagine?
55:00Yes.Oh my God.Like that's literally like when yesterday I saw this quote, my friends sent it to meand it was like, sometimes you don't realize how traumatic something was until you're liketalking about it in a conversation and everyone goes silent and just looks at you.Like that's going to be the kids that see the porn during the zooms.They're going to be like, yeah, 10 years from now, they're going to be having a casualconversation and being like, Oh, that one time, you know, and they were, when I was
55:25in kindergarten.Yes.And they're going to be like, Oh my God, it's going to hit them right then in there.Like, wow, porn came on my zoom.Can you freaking imagine the teacher's eyeballs like, Oh, I can't you.I would.Oh my.I would just burn my house down.
55:44I would just burn my house down.You'd have to like end the whole zoom and then hope, hope for the, hope for the bestthat no one saw it.I would literally, my whole house would be on fire.Like I would just throw the whole thing away, divert, divert, divert and, and hope thatnobody put I cannot like, I'm literally getting hot just sitting here thinking about it.And then that leads me to the next thing while I was thinking about that is we're kind ofat the age with, well, you're definitely at the age, but like kids walking in on their
56:20parents having sex, like, Oh my God, I was afraid to bring this topic up because like,it's real.It's a real thing.It's very real and like it happens and I was, but I wanted to talk about it, but thenI didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know if people were going to get upset aboutit, but like, I mean, it does happen and especially when your parents, like there's just no wayto avoid it.And so I wanted to talk, I keep saying repeating myself because I'm scared to talk about it,
56:52but like it's, it happens and it's very real.It does happen and it is very real.And I just want to say, right, you said, tell me, you wish you could what I want to, likeI wish that I could tell stories, but like not of me, like just ones that I've heardare like, it only happened to me once, I think.So I wish I could tell that story, but it's happened to you.I die.You said one of those things where you like quickly come pretend like it, nothing is going
57:22on, you know, but then like, you're so obvious because you were so quickly doing somethinglike, um, you know, just brushing my teeth and, you know, whatever in my bed with noclothes on like, what, if you told, if you told whoever busted on you that you're brushingyour teeth, I cannot even trust you.No, I was just saying like you could like quickly get up and act like you were doingsomething else is all I'm saying.Okay.Goodbye.
57:51Um, no, no, no.So I don't know if this is like an only child thing, but I guess you can tell me if it isor not.So Jackson has a really hard problem with like boundaries and he thinks that like he cango in anywhere in the house, right?So it's like, if my doors closed, he's busting in or if I'm taking a bath, it's like, I couldbe sitting there having the most luxurious bubble bath and then he just bust in and he'slike, Hey mom, do you see this on my tablet or it's like, he doesn't even think that like
58:20the fact the doors were closed and that I'm in the bathtub, you know, it's like, thatmust be like, um, the age maybe because I just had to have that conversation with my kids.Even Isaac, I was like, you guys need to knock and then it doesn't even have anything todo with sex, like, or like anything like that.It's just like, even if you're just in the bathroom or it's called privacy, look it up,knock on the fucking door.So I looked at my kids in the face, both of them.And I was like, don't bust in my room.
58:47Don't bust in the bathroom.Don't bust it in the, in the bathroom when your brother is in there.Like under no circumstances will you bust through any doors, any one, like just be done withit and knock on the fucking door.So I tell Will like all the time, I'm like, there's no privacy.Like if I go to take a dump, it's like he is knocking on the door and it's like, yousee, it's closed, you know, there's a toilet in here.Like what do you think I'm doing?
59:19You see that there's a bathtub.I'm in it.Why are you in here?So we finally had the conversation.I was like, I, I swear to you.Like if you come through this bedroom door again without knocking, oh, and then we dida whole week of the knock and open.It's like knock, knock open.
59:39Right.And it's like, no, no, no.You need some, some acknowledgement that we have heard you knock.Yes, you can come in or no, you cannot.We do not answer.And then he said one time he was like, I just wanted to see how long he would knock.So he did it.And I guess this was after he had gotten like big trouble for busting through our door.
59:58He was just like viciously knocking and he was like, well, is nobody going to come?Does nobody care about me?And it's like, no, we're just like tired of you busting through our freaking door.We can't even have a private intimate time because you're up all fucking hours that I'mup.Like there's not one hour that I am up that you are not casing this place to see whatyou can get into next.Why are our kids like this?
01:00:29I don't know.And it's like, am I missing something?Was I supposed to like, when they had a certain age, was I supposed to be like, hey, thisis what you don't do from this point forward?You know what I mean?Like, did I miss something?And then while we're on this topic, I got so many freaking DMs of moms sending me picturesof their boys pants or shorts with fricking underwear and I'm in some of them had damn
01:00:56skid marks and it is like, what the hell is going on?Like, is this what we signed up for?Like, we just, I just, I don't, I don't understand if anybody has any tips on proper boundaries.For kids, please let us know because obviously it's something that we're both strugglingand also suffering from in our households.And I promise you tonight, because we have been cooped up in a condo for nine days witheach other that if Jackson Campbell comes busting through my door tonight and he is not in hisprivate time in his bedroom, there's going to be a problem.
01:01:44So I just, I can't, I honestly, I can't deal.Do you not ever feel like that when you go on vacation with your kids?I would say your husband, but like, obviously, you don't have one, but you know what I mean?Like you go on vacation with your, your kids and my case, my husband, and it's like, ifI have to look at you two for five more minutes, if you don't give me five minutes, like, that'sall.And sometimes that's all it takes is just five minutes, like just to like, yes, 100%.I mean, I feel like that with my kids sometimes it's just like, I just need to, I'm overstimulated
01:02:18and I just need to like, just chill out for one minute and then we can reconvene.So yeah, I feel like that all the time.Well, I'm so glad that you also feel that way.Not because I want you to struggle, but I also know how to struggle with me.It's relatable.Yes.100%.So wait, before we go, tell me you got busted in on, you don't have to tell me who busted
01:02:38in on you.I probably already know, um, this was years ago, but like, did you just do the faketooth brushing?Well, no, because we weren't in the bathroom, but like, if we were in the bathroom, I wouldhave said that.Um, no, luckily it was like right at the end.So nobody was even naked, but it was just like so quick after we're done that it waslike, Oh my God, you know, yeah, and it's like, Oh wow, like, I think we just, I don't know,
01:03:09we just assume that because the door is closed, right, that nobody's going to enter becausewe know that if a door was closed, we wouldn't be going in and out knocking.The whole thing is like, let's be honest here, like, I don't know if I'm going to, I hopeI don't get shit for this because I'm human, but like when you're a parent, you reallyhave to get it where you can, you know, like, you, I don't say it to be funny, but I'm,I'm being honest, like, if the kids are playing, you have to like your significant other.If you're both home at the same time and the kids are occupied, like that might be youronly opportunity because you know, maybe the kids don't sleep through the night or like
01:03:47maybe your, your significant other works and you're with the kids or vice versa, like you'rebusy.You know what I'm saying?So there's so many things that are going on and I feel like probably now more than ever,people are really going to relate to that for the pure fact of people being cooped up intheir homes with their children since March for, right, right, right, right.So I honestly hope I don't get shit for that because I feel like that's just like beingtotally, you know, human right now.
01:04:13No, it is being totally human and it's like, it's been a long time for me just having sexin general.So like, I actually look forward to the day that that, that maybe I get to have a quickie,you know, like one point.Yeah.In the next couple of years, I hope it happens for me, you know, I also hope it happens foryou in the next couple of years, you know, what a goal, what a goal, maybe, maybe not2020 because it's just like, yeah, for sure, not 2020, but, you know, 2021 has a shot.
01:04:49Might be, might be your year, you know, that might be the year that you have the girl thatmight be.Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, now we're pushing it.I'm just trying to have sex.Like I'm not, I'm not even trying to have get pregnant, but like, I would like that'show we're ending the podcast, the whole world, your whole business, you I'm just trying tohave sex.Just, just, you know, you Kale and Lowry are canceled until next week until next Thursday
01:05:18until next, until next Thursday, you're going to be canceled.It's fine.We're going to be back at the same time and also same place where you guys always findus every week.And yeah, that's really all I've got to say.So goodbye.Can we please end it like that, please?Yeah.
01:05:37I said goodbye, bitch.Goodbye.Bye.
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