Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 124: Evolving Relationships, Kail's Fitness Journey, and Privacy Please

Episode Date: October 1, 2020

Kail and Lindsie are back together this week and they have so much to discuss. Sometimes life forces you to have a relationship with someone, and it doesn't always start off perfectly. Kail and Lindsie talk about how those relationships can improve, and how sometimes it just takes time for the connection to work. Plus as many of you know, Kail has been spending more time focusing on her fitness, and she has some updates for Lindsie. And as parents, it can be hard to find time for a private moment, especially when your kids are keen on busting through any door they please! How can they possibly get a minute to themselves? All this, plus scheduling a Philly Cheesesteak Date, on this week's episode of Coffee Convos! This episode was sponsored by: Babbel, FightCamp, Philo, & Bartleby Write Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey guys, Lindsay's back for another episode of coffee combos and I'm fucking pumped to catch up. I'm just going to prep his first of all, hello, you're always the one with the idiot choosing yard equipment at your house. And if anybody hears a weed whacker, a blower, a lawnmower, it's probably will because we pulled into our driveway and he's like, okay, I like have to cut the grass. So he's one of those people that like, once he gets back home, he's got to like, cut the grass, wash the car, like, do all the things and I love that about him, but also like he

needs to settle down. Just while you're doing the episode. Exactly. I'm like, can you please take your blower to the neighbor's yard, like wherever just not here. But anyway, so what's up? I haven't, I feel like I haven't talked to you in like two weeks. I mean, I know we text and stuff, but like podcast wise, there's so much shit has happened.

Like this whole entire week for me has been a complete shit show. But how was your week at the beach? I feel like I've been gone forever. I think we were a long trip for you. Yeah, for me, it is a long trip because normally I've had my feel somewhere else after like four days. I'm good. I'm like, okay, I need to go back to my dwelling and I need to take a shower in my shower and

piss on my toilet. But yeah, it was, it was a long time, but we had a really good time and I feel like it was a much needed vacation because it was the first place we had been since COVID. So it was much needed. Obviously we've been to the lake and stuff, but that doesn't really count. But yeah. And then as luck would have it, or my luck would have it, I plan this whole trip. It's been planned for months, literally like six months.

And then Hurricane Sally hit days before we were supposed to leave and all of Pensacola was completely flooded. And then we were still able to make the trip happen, which was such a blessing, but the amount of people that lost things in that hurricane, like you just, if you don't live in that type of environment, you don't understand like how serious those storms are and just driving past like everything was insane, like for something that happened in such a short period of time to be able to destroy so much. Right.

Right. I can't imagine. But you celebrated your birthday there, right? Or no, you were home for your birthday. I was home for my birthday and then I'm normally so good about like, my house was spotless before I left, but then I guess I forgot to take out like all my sweets and stuff whenever I came home. And then there was like rotten asparagus in my refrigerator when I got, when I walked

in the door and I was like, what is that rank smell? And I opened up my refrigerator and it's like green juice, like in my lettuce drawer. So nasty. And my cakes and stuff were all molded and so I threw all of that away before we got on the phone and unloaded all of the packages. I just wonder like what people honestly think when they drive past my house, whenever I'm not here and see the packages, like the amount of packages. They're probably contemplating whether they should steal them.

Yes. They probably wonder what I order. Yes. Do you ever do that? Like drive past somebody's house and you're like, see a bunch of stuff sitting out and they're like, what? Like, first of all, I need to know where those people are. And then like, secondly, like, what are they ordering off of Amazon?

I don't think I've ever really seen packages on someone's door. So it's like weird how like, I don't know, I feel like I drive by houses all the time and I never see like packages and stuff, but I always like, because I have like a subscription for like my dog food and just like random shit, like formula and like, I don't know, it comes right to my door. And so like, if people think that they're going to get something good off my porch, like they're probably not. Exactly.

They're going to get a bag of diapers. Yeah. You're for sure going to get some, some pampers or something. I don't know. For sure. Um, so anyway, so you're filming teen mom, right? Yes. We are filming the rest of teen mom.

And how's that going? Well, it's going well and they're actually going to film coffee combos podcast next month in Philly when you come. So that's super exciting. Oh my gosh. Well, okay. So I'm kind of nervous, but also not nervous because obviously when we went to the beach, we were still, it was like a controlled environment, right?

So we still could practice safe, um, measures so we can still wear a mask and we were staying in a condo. So it wasn't like it was, um, crowded or anything like that. And then we drove in the car, but I haven't been to the airport. Have you been to the airport? I have not been to the airport. The good thing is, um, with the new protocols for filming and stuff, um, they're going to send you like a Corona testing kit and you're going to get results in like two days.

Oh wow. So they're going to send you that. And then I have to be tested for Corona three times a week now. That's the new protocol. So, um, myself, my kids, and then Natalie and Kaden, which are my friends that help a lot. They have to be tested too because they are also filming sometimes. Um, so we all have to be tested three times a week. And then, um, Kristen, we'll get a kit to test before we go to Philly.

And then, um, anyone who is going to be in Philly with us while we're recording the podcast and filming has to be tested prior to going to film. So honestly, it makes me feel really good that they're doing that because it's like, you're not playing the guessing game. Like who's got COVID. Right. Absolutely. Yeah.

But then I've also heard too that airports are so clean right now and everything's just so super safe because they're just, it's also a business to protect, right? So they're just trying to make sure that all the protocols are being followed on the planes and whatever. So I guess we'll see. I don't plan on checking a bag or anything like that. Um, I plan to keep all of my belongings on me and I'm just, I'm excited. I've never been to Philly.

Um, I don't know what else the world is like. It's a really cool city and, um, I don't know if you've ever heard of like, uh, paths or genos. They're like the famous cheesesteak places. So funny that you freaking say that. Why are you and will the same people? He was like, oh, he said something too. And then the Rocky steps are, are in Philly.

And so there's like a ton of like, and there's museums everywhere. Um, it's, it's a really cool city. He told me he was like, as much as you love Philly cheesesteaks, because I literally, if there's a Philly cheesesteak on a menu, chances are I'm getting it. And so he was asking me, uh, he was like asking me about our trip and like what we had planned or whatever. And I try to explain to him and I have told this to other people too that when we go on podcasting trips, I think people think that we're like out just like having this like

blast of a time, which we do have a good time, but yeah, we don't really leave a hotel or an Airbnb. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were pretty much in there for 12 hour days recording what we can get recorded and do all of our content and stuff. Yeah. I definitely, but you need to go get a cheesesteak while you're there.

Yeah. So he was saying, as much as you love Philly cheesesteaks, you have to go to this place called Geno's. And I was like, well, I love that you know so much about it since you've never been to Philly. And he's like, well, I've, I've seen all about it or whatever. And he was like, you and Kale need to do the video how like that pizza guy from Barstool, um, El Presidente or whatever, how he goes around to all the pizza places and tries pizza

and he like rates them and he's like, um, one bite, you know, the rule. And then he like rates it, I think between like one in 10, I'm sure people that are listening to this will understand if their husband is a Barstool fan, but, um, yeah, Will's totally into it. And he's like, y'all need to do a spin on that, a Philly cheesesteaks and it's like, I'm totally down because I will eat you out of house and home with a Philly cheesesteak. I actually don't like cheesesteaks at all, like of any kind. Why?

Yeah, explain. I don't know. Like they're just like not my thing. Like they're just not my thing, but I just know like anyone that has come to visit, I've always taken them to Pat's and Gino's like, um, my friend, Tony, who came, I've taken her there and just like, I don't, she lives in Vegas. So when she came to visit, we went there, um, I don't, I just don't like it. Well, I'm so excited.

I'm going to take you perfect. I knew that you loved me. I knew that you would take one for the team. You're going to eat like one half and I'll eat the other half. It'll be like a date. Okay. I'm down. Since you've never been on one, I'm going to officially, I guess you're taking me on

a, on a date, but I'll buy the cheesesteaks. Perfect. So perfect. So anyway, um, yeah, Jackson has like a crazy week at school. Um, actually I have an update on school. Let's hear it. So I know that you've probably had a hellacious week with school this week and I've just been like, did you just use hellacious?

Yeah. Like hellacious. Isn't that a word? Like that's amazing. What is that? Let me look it up. Okay. Continue while I look it up.

I probably said it wrong, but it's fine. Um, anyway, so while I was, you know, drinking mojitos by the pool, you were like pulling your hair out with your kids on zoom, which is kind of, but yeah, so we actually got an email before we left for the beach that was saying that there was enough people that were opting back into the school option since we, you know, have the option here and his digital teacher would change to a new teacher. So not very happy about that. Um, however, there have been no reported cases at his school.

So we're kind of on the fence and we have to make the determination this week on what to do, because if he goes, if he stays digital, he's going to be with a teacher that is in another school, like not his school, it would be another school like around here. And there's going to obviously be that change. And I just feel like it would almost like being, being, being like a new kid, um, you're just having to like relearn all the rules and everything. So I know that I said previously that we were going to keep him home, but I think we're leaning towards sending him back because one, there have been no reported cases at his school,

which knock on wood, but two, it's going to actually be his teacher, um, that would be teaching him. So it would be a smoother transition. So if you guys believe in the power of prayer, pray for me this week, because I think he has three tests and, um, we're going to be probably making that transition. So anyhow, how has your digital learning experience been going? You know, I thought it was going to be more structured. Like I've said on a couple podcasts now, like more like Jackson's, and I think that it,

it would be great if it was, but it's just, it's just not. I mean, the other day Joe texted me and was like, Isaac's on zoom and it's literally 12 minutes long. Like that's it. So I, we were both kind of frustrated. And then, um, so Joe sends Isaac back over here for my week and the, um, it's like, I don't know, there's like five assignments that he didn't complete. So like literally if you miss like one click or one link, you miss an entire week's worth

of work for, you know, one book or whatever. And so I texted Joe and I was like, Hey, did you know that these assignments were missing? And he's like, Oh wow, like, no, I didn't. So we're plant trying to play catch up on top of the minimal work that he gets here. And then still trying to like supplement, giving him more work. Um, and it's just kind of been just like a little weird. So, um, they actually start in the middle of October to go back two days a week. Um, and that I don't know how long that goes on.

I don't know how long the hybrid situation is. I'm hoping that they would be in school full time by January. Well, let's keep our fingers crossed that, that that is the case. I, my whole purpose of the digital learning was basically, I just didn't want all the change. So like them go to school and then, you know, a classroom be quarantined because the way that they're doing it here, if a classroom is quarantined, they're not receiving the instruction online for those days that they're out of school.

So if they're on a 14 day mandatory quarantine, they're not moving to digital because their class is quarantined. So I was like, for those reasons I'm completely out because there's no way to, I was just thinking back like in March, uh, how crazy it was trying to keep up with all the shit. And I was like, I'm just, I'm not doing this. So it's been nice to be able to have some form of consistency, but I will be glad for him to be able to go back to school because he needs to, you know, have association with his friends.

He talked to his little girlfriend on FaceTime, um, actually yesterday and, um, she's so excited for him to be coming back to school, but, um, yeah, so I think our kids will probably go back around the same time because I think his is October 13th or 14th, I think. So fingers crossed that like it all gets, all goes smoothly. Yeah. And gets sorted out. Um, anyhow, I have to address this and I think you probably already know what I'm going to talk about.

Um, but yesterday I was sitting on the beach for our last day. And I kept getting these notifications on my phone, but I couldn't see them on Instagram. And I was like, what the heck is going on? And then I was like, okay, obviously like Instagram's glitching. Is it deleting my account? Like has my account been hacked? Like whatever what's going on? Yeah.

So, um, then I go and check my DMs, which by the way, if you have sent me a DM in the last, let's go ahead and stretch it out to 12 days. And I haven't responded and I'm very sorry for that and I will be responding like as quickly as I can, but I truly was trying to take like a complete mental break. Um, but anyway, I go and check my DMs and it's all these screenshots of stuff. And I'm like, what is this? So then I was able to go and investigate. Supposedly it was national daughter's day and I think that we talked about this on the

podcast actually the same time last year, um, that the same thing happened. And then, um, I just haven't responded to anything because there were posts that my dad and Julie made on their Instagrams that were like saying happy national daughter's day to Savannah or something like that. And I feel like two sides of it, right? So I feel like if you're going to do it to be petty, then you just shouldn't post it at all because then you're just like showing your cards. Um, but also if you're going to do it, like make sure you're doing it from a genuine place.

If you just like don't consider me your daughter, don't go on your podcast and be like, Oh, well, you know, I still love her. I still this. I still that. And then your actions aren't consistent with what you say, right? Your actions and your, what you say have to match. And they just don't. And so I don't want to give a ton of time to it.

I just, I am working on some other projects, which you know what those are. And so I just, I'm so excited for you to actually announce that by the way. Like I was hoping you were going to talk about it today. I know you're not going to like say what it is because it's too soon. But like I'm super excited for the project because at first I was like, why don't I even know what this is? But now I know. Yeah.

But now you know. Um, but anyway, I just don't want to give too much energy to negative things. And I know that you're kind of in that same place with therapy and whatever. Um, I just need to reserve my energy for other things that I have going on and I'll just kind of leave it at that and that, um, can be emotionally exhausting already reserving it for that. So I'm just, I appreciate all the messages that everybody sent me and, um, the comments and then, you know, of course, then you get the Google alerts and it's like, you know,

I was slant or he was slammed because I was shunned and it's just, it's like a never ending saga that I'm just like, um, but anyhow, um, moving on from that, I just have to say this because I was looking at your Instagram a few minutes before we got on here, um, when I was completing the ride home, Creed looks so much like you to me that it just like freaks me out. I just don't see it. Everyone keeps saying that, like especially today and I'm like, I literally think that people say that because he's like fair skin and has blue eyes.

I don't, I really don't see it. It's something about like his mouth area or like something. I don't know. Like when I look at him, I literally feel like if I had been looking at you as a baby, like that's what you would look like is that weird? I'm going to find, I'm going to ask around. Maybe my family have like baby pictures of me or you can ask Susie. I'm not asking Susie.

She probably doesn't even have baby pictures. I don't even know. I'm dead. Oh, speaking of, um, I actually personally got a bunch of messages about that too. Um, did it air on teen mom? Yes. About your mom calling you? Yes.

Yeah. I got a ton of messages about that too. Like, well, if you pretty much saw the whole thing in real time and then people were like, was that staged or whatever? And it's like, no, like that, no, it definitely wasn't. And that's what the crazy part, like, I guess it wasn't very crazy. Like looking back, it's like, I guess it wasn't that insane because my, my grandmother had died, um, not that long before that phone call.

And so I think my mom just like didn't realize that I already knew because of my, my family call. Like I stay in contact with like my cousins and like my aunt and uncle will check in from time to time. Um, you know, I don't see them all the time, but I'm still, I'm still, I still have conversations with them and you know, I'll see them once or twice a year. Um, but I don't think my mom realizes that. And so they actually told me before they told my mom because everyone kind of has written

off my mom. Um, so it wasn't too crazy to think that she called and no, it wasn't staged. Um, I will say the thing that pissed me off about that phone call and I didn't remember this prior to rewatching it was when she says in the conversation that she sends gifts and cards that that happened one time that literally happened in the past, I don't know, seven years, eight years. She's only done that one time. So that was super irritating.

And I didn't actually remember that until I rewatched it. So I actually saw a comment specifically about that and oh really? Yeah. And I was like, well, Cal needs to be honest about like hiding the cards or whatever from her kids. And I don't hiding them. Here's the thing. I'm not going to hide them from my kids.

My kids don't need to have cards that I can't explain. So if my mom is not willing to be sober and healthy enough to have a relationship with my children, I'm not going to give them cards and gifts from my mom when I can't explain why she can send cards and gifts but can't have a real relationship with them. That doesn't make any fucking sense to me. So no, it's not about hiding them. It's that we've gotten, I want to say it was, so I've been in this house for a year. So maybe it was last Christmas or the Christmas before we got, we did get three cards, three

gifts. And there was a problem with that too, because my mom wrote an entire paragraph to Isaac and she did not write anything to Lux or Lincoln. So again, that's a huge problem to me. And no, you're not going to be a part of the kids lives because I don't, I can't explain to my kids, oh, I do have a mom, but you can't see her because she's sick because XYZ, but here's some gifts from her. Like no, what does that teach my kids?

Absolutely the fuck not. Well, obviously. I don't relate to like the substance abuse, like the, those issues, like I can't relate to that part of it. However, I have experienced that a little bit too, and just I 100% agree with you that if there's no relationship there, that maybe the person who is sending it, I've tried to get in the mind of the, the person that's sending it, right? And it's like, okay, did they, for whatever reason, randomly go to Target or randomly

see something that they were like out at a shop or something and they were like, oh, well, maybe Jackson would like that. Do they send it because they feel a sense of guilt or do they send it to clear conscience? Do they send it like, like what is the reason behind sending it? Like I need to know that and then also you're sending a Christmas gift to my house. First of all, if that doesn't say enough, the fact that you're mailing a Christmas gift. Um, yeah, that's, that's a, that's a red flag right there. Right.

Like that's, that's a red flag and it's like, I'm not going to ruin my kids Christmas or my Christmas for that matter because I'm trying to think of how to explain why a person would be again, why we need to rain shirts, like would be so freaking deranged that they would be like, Oh yeah, it's a good idea for me to, to send this gift, even though this person doesn't really even know that I exist, like, I don't know how to explain that. Like I don't know how. Yeah. So it's like, okay.

The person that made a comment about like hiding car. Yeah. Like, so you're, you're kind of experiencing the same thing. Like how, why, why should we be in a position to have to explain it because they have a guilty conscience or they don't know how to have a real, like they can't have a real relationship with our kids. Like, why should we have to try to explain that you can't have it both ways. You're not going to, you're not going to send my kids gifts from a distance and not have

a real fucking relationship. No. Thank you. So I could like put a million likes on that comment. Like it would, the sound of the likes would be like, because I'm like, Oh my gosh, I, I completely 100% relate and agree. Did I tell you about the time that I got the package at Christmas and I opened it up and obviously like I knew the brand where it came from.

It was a fan favorite brand in my house, like absolutely love it. But then I opened it up and I didn't order anything from it. So I'm like, okay, well that's weird. And maybe it was just coming from the brand directly because, you know, sometimes we do get stuff from brands that just like send it somehow, they get our address, whatever. Yeah. So I get this package. I open it up and there's a card in there and it says from your secret admirer.

So at that point I get freaked out because I'm like, okay, who is this creep that is sending something to my house from a brand that we love with a secret admirer card? Like it's weird. And so I actually called the store and asked and they told me who sent it, but yeah, I was just completely creeped out and I never, I never gave it to Jackson because it just doesn't make sense. It's like, yeah, no, it's, it's, that's, I just, it's not hiding. It's just like right now I don't think that we really need to explain it to them.

And if it's, if they don't have a real relationship with them anyway, they don't need, it just doesn't make sense. I say it like muddy as the water, right between it's, yeah, and it's like the fact that she even tried to say that it was multiple times, it was like, we received it once and no, like it's not like you're even consistent with that. Like you're not even consistent with sending, you know, cards and gifts on every birthday and every Christmas. And you know what I mean?

Like you did it one time. So no, like. And it's like kids grow up so fast. And I think people also like forget that kids are so resilient. Like something that Jackson might have known or your kids might have known whenever they were younger, just because that's not a part of their life, it just kind of comes and goes. Kids only focus really on what is in their daily life, like from their day to day. So I just don't really have the issues of like wanting him wanting like or desiring a

relationship or whatever, because we have a very open line of communication. So it's just, it's not there. And I think that from some of the messages that I read from your situation, it was almost like you're depriving your kids of something that doesn't even exist. Right. Right. They don't know what they're missing. They don't.

Right. So it's insane. Anyway, moving on from that, I love whenever you freaking go on live when Lincoln is playing football. Like, I just love it. It's literally like, like a lot like you're watching football at home, you know, I get excited to do it. I'm like, come on.

He did score a touchdown today. I don't know if it was on live though. Was he so excited? Yeah. He was pumped. Um, he, he usually gets at least one touchdown, but the one game I want to say it was like two weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago. He had four touchdowns and you know, I'm just, I get so excited and proud and it's so crazy

because so, um, I don't know if I've said this before in the podcast or if I've said it on live, but so Lincoln's cousin plays football on his team, which is Javi's nephew. Okay. But then Lux's cousin is also on Lincoln's team. So it's just kind of cool because Lux's family is there for, you know, them and then Lux gets to see them and then look at Lincoln also gets to see like his extended family at his games and, and also Eli and Lux play, which is like, you know, I've talked about it before, like Lauren and I are just like not on that level yet.

Like we're just not there, but we acknowledge each other through the kids. So it's like, Hey, Eli, and then that's like me acknowledging Lauren and then like Lauren will acknowledge Lux and it's like, okay, we're all cordial. We're all civil. You know what I mean? Um, but we're really all there for Lincoln, which is kind of cool. So, um, Sundays are pretty good. Like I really do like Sundays.

I feel like that, um, in that situation that over time that whatever that, um, relationship is supposed to be will naturally evolve without any outside influence or like you having to force something or her having to force something. It's like when the perspective is right, um, and it's on the kids, then that's all that matters. Like that's a good point. And I, I guess I never really thought about that until right now is like, yeah, I feel like up until this point, there's been so much pressure to just automatically jump into

like being civil and trying to get on to, um, try to get to where me and VR, you know, and it's just, it needs to happen naturally. It can't be forced and that's, that's the bottom line is like, you know, and I don't think that people really think about the fact that we're fucking human and we have feelings and there's a lot that goes into co-parenting and, and, and it does need to happen naturally. So yeah, you're right. That's a really good point. Lindsay.

Well, and I think too on that point that sometimes I think the waters can be muddied a little bit when the person that's trying to force that the hardest is the person that you've both been with, right? So it's like, I'm not saying that this happened. I'm just using Harvey as an example. So like if Harvey was trying to like force you to have a relationship with her and he's like trying to force her to have a relationship with you, obviously that's going to naturally create tension there when it's not on your terms.

Right. Right. I agree. I agree with you there too. I definitely think that's, there's a lot to be said about all of that and I'm glad that you're actually saying that. It's weird too. Like because I can feel myself getting to a good place with it.

And so it's like also weird. It's like the Twilight Zone. Like I'm realizing that I'm getting to a good place, but it has been happening naturally like through football, through the kids, through that, but I don't, it, it almost made, it's it's almost like, have you ever been in a position where someone asks you to do something or tells you to do something and you specifically don't want to do it because you were asked or told to do it, but you would, you would have done it on your own. Oh, absolutely.

That's basically every day of my life. Like that's, that's how it is. Like I swear to God, even when I'm filming and stuff for like Teen Mom, my producer Patrick will be like, Hey, can you call, um, can you call Kristen or can you call Lindsay and let and tell them what just happened? And it's like, no, like now I'm pissed because I was going to do it anyway. And I don't like that you just asked me to, because if you would have just let things happen naturally, I would have done it on my own, but like, I get it.

Like they have a job to do. So I think it's kind of like that, but yeah, so it's exactly like that. Because you don't want your life to feel so forced and like something has to happen. You want things to happen on your terms and what feels most natural and comfortable for you. And I wanted to present a great, like I honestly, I, maybe it's just because I can't relate because I'm not like in a divorce or separated situation. But in the sense of like thinking about being in that situation, and maybe it's because

I am in love with Will that I think this way. Maybe if I hated him, it would be like a different thought, but the thoughts of him being with somebody else and that person imprinting on my child literally makes me crawl out of my own skin. Yeah. It's hard. It's really, really hard. I don't even know how humans do it.

And maybe you get in a better place when you're not romantically involved with the other person. I don't know. Like I've tried to put myself in the shoes of somebody who is walking through that and be like, okay, well, I would never be cool with that. And it's like, until you've done it, you don't really know. I say that confidently. Like I would say until you've had a kid, you shouldn't be commenting on people's parenting. Yeah.

Until you've been there, don't comment on it. But yeah, more power to you. Like I love the fact that you guys are all getting along so well. And part of it probably is just things naturally just falling into place the way that it should. And then just growing up and you kind of run out of things to fight about at some point. You know, it's like, I don't know that there was ever like a fight or anything. I just, there's a lot that goes on that isn't filmed, you know, and so, and, and the weird the thing is that and I, and this might be controversial and I don't even know if, if

Javi's going to appreciate me saying this, but Javi, I have a different kind of relationship with Javi where like he knows that he knows where my loyalty is. So like that whole time when we were getting, when we were getting divorced and he sat there and you know, Kale cheated, Kale this, Kale that, Kale that, Kale did this, you know, whatever. And I kept my mouth shut. I never even defended myself. And you know, when the whole scandal happened last year, like the first person he called

was me, like he knows where my loyalty is. And I think that that, we don't speak about it. And so, but that, that is a factor. No, we are not romantically involved anymore, but we, I do have a sense of loyalty to him. And I don't know if it's because he was the first person I ever married. And I don't know because we were married and we had a baby. Like it, it was very different than Joe and it was very different than Chris. I don't know what it is, but I think Javi knows where my loyalty is.

And so that, not that it blurs lines because like I said, we're not romantic, but, but I think that's there, that's a factor in all of it too. So that was kind of, I definitely agree. And I think just because you went through different things with Javi, like every relationship is different, right? So because you went through different parts of your life with him and then I think the way that he has responded to stuff and then, um, how you respond to things, it's like, I don't know.

I just see you guys more not romantically involved, but as a unit, yeah, like if I don't think Javi and I should have ever even been romantic, I think we should have just always been best friends. Like that's really what it boils down to is like, like as far as loyalty goes, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, isn't that funny?

I've heard so many people say, um, they have, have gone through divorce situations or like big breakups or whatever, saying that had we just remained friends, like we could have been best friends for like a lifetime, but because we blurred those lines and got romantically involved, then it messed up everything. So that's so interesting. Um, anyway, I want to tell you, I'm looking, I talk about this, if you guys follow me on Instagram, you probably think I'm a psycho plant mom, but like I kill all my plants and went to the beach, come back, my fiddle fig, I had put it on the porch cause I was like

mad at it. I can't. I was mad at it. So it was like, I'm going to put you on the porch and like I said, like be with nature, like do your thing girl and had her on the porch and all of a sudden she started growing like these random like little green sprigs and I told Will, I was like, is that, um, like little fiddle fig leaves, like miniature ones, or is that like weeds? And he was like, no, I'm pretty sure it's like little leaves.

Just leave it alone. Do you realize I haven't touched that plant since I put it on my porch and that bitch is thriving like what she just has so many leaves. Like she looks so happy. I love that you refer to it as she. Yeah. Like it's like, like a person. Like I've referred to all my plants, like they probably need names and I know people

that like literally name their plants, like share, sunny, like all these different things. And it's kind of like, I'm going to name one post and one Malone. That's amazing. You need to post them so I can see them and see if they thrive or if you're just neglecting them. I mean, a little bit of both. Like it really depends on the week. I need to tell you, I need to tell you about this show that I started watching on Netflix.

I thought you were about to be like, I need to tell you about the show I'm about to be on. Uh, no, I can't take on any more things at the moment. Like if they asked me to be on another show, I would have to like cancel your life. Yeah. Because I literally can't take on any more like things. Um, no, I watched this show called love on the spectrum. Have you seen it?

I've been wanting to watch this so bad. So tell me you knew about it. I knew about it, but I haven't watched it, but I've been wanting to watch it so bad. So tell me everything. It's so sweet. Um, so my friend bone was here, um, the other day and she told me about it. Um, and it's so interesting. Like, you know, I guess I never, I never really thought about, you know, love on the spectrum.

Like I never thought about it. Never really crossed my mind. And so seeing some of the, the, um, challenges that they, that the people face on the show is kind of heartbreaking. And there was one part of one of the girls, she wants to go on a date or whatever. And the, and the interview, the mom says, you know, that she worries about her daughter like being alone and you know, she's not going to live forever. And so who's going to really love and care for her daughter.

And so like that's like really, really heartbreaking to think about. And, um, I don't know, the show, and they all have such amazing personalities that it's like, damn, like they do deserve love. Like, come on. Oh my gosh. I want to, now that you've said that you're watching it, I've got to watch it now. Do you remember that one show? I don't know.

It was like a long time ago. Well, I don't know if it was a long time ago. I'm pretty sure it was on MTV. This is a completely different topic, but it just made me think of it. It was about like the siblings that this person had, um, from like the sperm donors. Okay. Do you remember this? No.

I'm pretty sure it was on MTV, but it was like documentary style and it was like this girl documenting, um, finding all of these people who shared her same dad and it was like from a sperm donor. Oh wow. I would love to watch that. I've got to think of the name of it. I'll have to go and look it up now that you say that's fascinating, but no, it's, it was so fascinating.

And I watched it. Will was like, what the hell are you doing? And it's like, you need to calm down, like kill was a football video that popped up. I'm so sorry. Are you fine? I'm not fine. I thought that music was playing for me. Oh, I mean, you did bring up a very interesting show that I would love to watch.

So I would applaud you. Could you imagine if we just like started adding sound effects like into the podcast after we did, can we please on one episode, like, please, it would just be funny. Like, like claps, just like funny, like, like screaming's, um, I don't even know. Wait, did you look up what that word was that I was saying? Yes. And you were right. It means great, bad or overwhelming.

Holatius. You're right. Holatius. Well, it could be all of the above to be perfectly honest. Honestly, I feel like that word describes my week. Like there was good. There was a lot of good. There was a lot of bad.

There was a lot of overwhelming, but it was just Holatius, like the all of it, like. And also deranged. I can't. I just need a shirt that says that or like a baseball cap that says deranged. Just something so that everybody knows that when they see you coming, like, just don't ask deranged. That's it. Well, that's so funny.

All right, y'all, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our newest partners, Bartleby Wright. For those of you who have not heard of it, it is a monthly writing help subscription service and this subscription service provides students with grammar and spelling checkers, a plagiarism checker, a citation tool and preliminary score. This is something that I totally wish that I had whenever I was in college because it would have made me feel so much more confident with my writing. So basically you just copy and paste or upload a writing sample directly from your Google

docs into the dashboard and then you click the analyze button and Bartleby Wright will provide comprehensive insights into the overall health of your document and it's accessible from any device. So the desktop laptop tablet or your phone and right now Bartleby Wright is offering coffee combos listeners their first month of Bartleby Wright for free when you sign up at get Bartleby dot com slash convos. That's get B-A-R-T-L-E-B-Y dot com slash combos. Again, that's get B-A-R-T-L-E-B-Y dot com slash combos.

After your free trial starts, your subscription will automatically renew at 9.99 a month unless you cancel and you may cancel at any time. Write better right now, submit papers with confidence. Moving on from that, we need to freaking talk about your gym journey because I've been watching you like the whole time I've been eating like Oreos and stuff at the beach. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, what is she doing like listen, I'm happening. So the gym that I go to has like you wear they have their own harnesses and stuff and

they have resistance bands that you connect to them. So all of the movements and the workouts and stuff like that are all resistance based. So I will tell you, did I have, we talked about the gym at all. We talked about, well, there was a lot of articles, I guess, because we talked about you drop him 50 pounds and joining Air Force. But then that was it. Listen to Lux. Mom.

Do you hear him? He's fine. Yeah, I heard him. He said, he's fine. He's fine. He's not fine. He's unwell. And he's on the hunt for you like.

He wants snacks and it's almost dinner time, so bless him. That's my life story. Jackson's always trying to get snacks right around dinner time and I'm like, stop, like you're not going to eat your whole meal. He'll want to eat a snack like literally 30 minutes before and then not eat any of his dinner. And it's dinner. That wasn't the plan.

Yeah. Anyway, sounds like he situated moving on. So the gym stuff, so it's resistance based and I, if I, if I didn't say this on the podcast before, I don't remember what was said, but the first day back at the gym was last Friday and I cried not because I couldn't do the workout, but I cried when the coach was like, okay, let's take, you know, your, your progress photos. It's just like day one pictures, right? And at home, it's one thing to walk around in like my leggings and a sports bra and I

feel fine. But after completing an hour workout and it's a type of super intense working out that I've never done before. That was already humbling and I was already like, wow, like I have a long fucking way to go. But then it was like, okay, now take off your shirt and you know, we're going to take these pictures and I was like, oh my fucking God. So I, I'm holding back tears and I'm like, this sucks.

But you know, the coach's name is Charlie and he was like, this is why you're here. Like this is why you're here. But I mean, I'm a little over a week in now and I'm, it must have been two weeks ago. So we must have talked about this. No, we didn't talk about your progress pictures and you crying. No, we didn't. We didn't. Okay.

And I didn't even know that because you didn't tell me that like in real life. Yeah. That was, it was really, really hard and, and extremely humbling. Like you, you think you look good until you get in the gym and you're like, oh, wow, like there's so much more I could be doing. And then I got an, an Instagram question yesterday. I was, I did some like question and answer or whatever and, and someone asked like, aren't you tired?

Like don't, what motivates you? And it's like, honestly, I am so fucking tired all the time and I have four kids, but at the end of the day when I'm eating like shit and I'm not working out and I, and I'm, I'm not in my best, you know, fit, um, you know, I'm not, I'm not in your best shape like in my best shape. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to feel even more like shit because I'm eating, I'm putting shit in my body.

And so I'm just like, I want to get to a place where I am able to consistently keep up with my kids without being tired all the time and, and feel good about what I eat. I just want to, I want to enter my thirties like that. And so that's what really motivates me. I just, you know, and it is a really huge stress relief. Like yesterday was an awful day and, um, you know, I had some shit going on. And so I was like, I'm not going to do any of that until I go to the gym because I know once I leave the gym, I'll have a clear mind about what I want to do and how to handle

a situation and, and we'll go from there. And so I'm happy to be back in the gym. Um, it's not as many days as I would like, but, um, you know, I have four kids. So I get there whenever I can tomorrow, I'll go at like nine 45, I'll go. Well, at least you're going and you're making progress in the right direction. And yeah, for sure. Eventually all of your kids, I know it seems like a very far way away. And I say eventually all of your kids will be like in school and preschool, but then

you're going to have a fifth child. So it's like, I love how you say it so casually. Like it's a fact. Like, well, I just know, like it's going to happen. So it's just like, okay, well, I'm not going to set you up for like that failure to be like, Oh, well, eventually all your kids will be in preschool and then you'll be like able to go to the gym whenever you want to, or whatever it's like, yeah, probably not. Probably not.

Like that's going to happen when you're like 50. Right. I'll be like, yeah, exactly. And we all know that it's funny that you say that though, because we'll and I were both talking about how we have just like completely neglected workouts since school started basically because it's just so hard to try to like juggle all the things. And so I try to go on walks and stuff, but it's just not the same of getting a good workout in like, obviously anything's better than nothing, but it just doesn't feel the same.

And I said to myself this morning when I woke up, like not another week is going to go by that I'm not going to register myself into some kind of like workout class or something. So that I have some form of schedule to be like, okay, I'm definitely doing this. And it's like accountability for me, right? Like I know that I need to be there at a specific time to do that workout and like I'm paying for it. Right. A hundred percent.

Otherwise, if it's just on my terms, it's like, okay, well, I can go to the gym at like eight o'clock at night because everything's done or I can, you know, wake up and go at five o'clock in the morning and then it never happens. I was going to say something about the workouts like, I don't know if you've ever felt like this, but when you go workout and you're like, wow, that was so difficult and you feel like in the moment you're like, Oh my God, am I even like, I'm trying so hard, but I'm not really getting anywhere. Did you ever feel like that in the workout?

Yeah. I hate that feeling. And I can't wait to get to a place like when I'm more fit that I'm like, okay, wow, like I did every single movement. I never stopped moving. Like I don't stop moving now, but I wish that I had like more in me to like, but I'm just not there yet. I feel like you're that type of person that works out and like you're totally into like

the form and like all of that stuff. And I'm not really into that shit. Like I'm just like, Yeah. I hate sometimes when you say stuff, it's not even what you say it's, it's how you say it. You're like, I'm not even into that shit. Like,

I'm just not like, I know, but I will just like see somebody like working so hard at the gym and it's like they're like making sure they're like, all right and everything. And it's like, okay, good and great, but I don't really have the patience for that. And it's like, I'm really only working on glory muscles at this point anyway. So it's like, I'm going to get on the fucking bike and I'm going to ride for like five miles. And then I'm going to go and do a couple of these little leg things because that looks

like it'll be good. And then I'm going to go and like push down on this with my feet because it'll be good for my butt. And then I'm going to do a couple of squats and then that's going to be good. And it's like, who knows if I'm doing the right form or any of that shit properly. I mean, if you feel like you're doing it wrong or you feel weird and like if you feel like you're lifting something with your arms and your back hurts the next day, you were probably doing it wrong.

Probably. That's happened before. I also learned form and CrossFit. And so it kind of like helped me that I learned how to do form thing, like how to position my body. And then when I go over here, it's a lot easier in that aspect. I hate CrossFit. Like I actually, that's a bold face lie.

I've never CrossFitted or if that's what it's called. But like when Will goes downstairs and tries to like set me up a workout. We've talked about this before, but it's like for reps and time. It's like, no, I'm either doing time or reps. Like it's not both. Right. Right. Because then, then my form really is messed up because I'm trying to go so fast.

And then it's not going to be right. So I would rather, you know, semi do it right on a slower pace than definitely fuck it up going fast. Like, right, right. For sure. I mean, it definitely takes time to get to a place for it to be time and reps. But like, if you're not there yet, maybe just do the form for the reps. And are you trying to make my heart explode?

Like maybe, like maybe he is, but that's how I feel. I'm like, I tell him every single time I go down there and he does this, I'm like, I'm not messing with you today. Like it's either time or reps you choose. Don't care. Like I can do 30 seconds and however many I get in 30 seconds, or we can do, you know, five sets of 10, whatever. We're not doing like 10 and 15 seconds.

Like you're literally on drugs. Like I don't even know. I don't even know what to tell him. Oh, but I have this funny message that like I have to read. Okay, I'm ready. Okay. So it says loyal listener for a long time. You two are awesome dynamic.

You had talked about interruptions in school classrooms. Here's a funny one for you. There's a little girl in my daughter's class that always asked to go to the bathroom. And the teacher always go to the bathroom, laugh out loud when the teacher always says if you need to go to the bathroom, totally fine. It's hysterical stuff. This girl on mutes and talks about also our school and neighboring schools have been hacked with porn.

Yes. And we went to open up a video what called Hagman videos. A lot of us clicked on it and it was a woman taking her shirt off. Another I heard was male genitals. How the hell are those pervs doing this? We have videos and live classes. Apparently it's happening on both. Just curious if you guys have had any virtual hacks.

It's getting ridiculous in our district. I hope you guys have the best week looking forward to next week. What the hell? Yes. So Natalie's son, Caden was telling me about, I'm pretty sure it was him or it might have been. So I don't know who it was. Did tell me that their zooms were canceled because of the porn.

What? Yes. I want to say it was Caden, but it may have been someone else that I was talking to like in my area and was talking about how they were canceled because of that. Yeah. Hacking was Zoom or something along those lines. Yeah. Definitely crazy.

And how do you hack a whole system like that? Like that's so weird. I have. And like why? Like why? I have no idea, but like what the hell? If that happened, I would literally call, no, I would, yes. I would call 9-1-1 and I would be like, there has been an emergency at my house.

My son's laptop is on fire because I set it on fire because I just witnessed this. I said my son's laptop is on fire because I set it on fire. Yes. Like I could not even freaking imagine. Like if that happened, what do you say to your kid that doesn't know anything about that? What do you say? You say, I set your laptop on fire because it's on fire.

You said because it's on fire. What? You said because it's on fire. Like, oh my, like, Kale, like my eyeballs would bleed like if that happened. Oh yeah, I would be so upset. Yeah. Because how do you explain that to a child? Like you, I don't know how you would even try to cover that up.

You know what I mean? How would you even try to break it, break it down? Like you can't. You can't. I would be like a race at all from your memory. Like I would be getting him hypnotized. Like I would be doing some weird, I would go and be going to extreme measures. Yeah.

You don't know how you would even correct that. That is so traumatizing. Like, can you imagine these kids that are like going to grow like, they might forget about it for the, for a little while, but then when they get older and like, remember that one time during the pandemic when, oh wow, that was porn that came on the zoom. Got it. Got it. Can you imagine?

Yes. Oh my God. Like that's literally like when yesterday I saw this quote, my friends sent it to me and it was like, sometimes you don't realize how traumatic something was until you're like talking about it in a conversation and everyone goes silent and just looks at you. Like that's going to be the kids that see the porn during the zooms. They're going to be like, yeah, 10 years from now, they're going to be having a casual conversation and being like, Oh, that one time, you know, and they were, when I was

in kindergarten. Yes. And they're going to be like, Oh my God, it's going to hit them right then in there. Like, wow, porn came on my zoom. Can you freaking imagine the teacher's eyeballs like, Oh, I can't you. I would. Oh my. I would just burn my house down.

I would just burn my house down. You'd have to like end the whole zoom and then hope, hope for the, hope for the best that no one saw it. I would literally, my whole house would be on fire. Like I would just throw the whole thing away, divert, divert, divert and, and hope that nobody put I cannot like, I'm literally getting hot just sitting here thinking about it. And then that leads me to the next thing while I was thinking about that is we're kind of at the age with, well, you're definitely at the age, but like kids walking in on their

parents having sex, like, Oh my God, I was afraid to bring this topic up because like, it's real. It's a real thing. It's very real and like it happens and I was, but I wanted to talk about it, but then I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know if people were going to get upset about it, but like, I mean, it does happen and especially when your parents, like there's just no way to avoid it. And so I wanted to talk, I keep saying repeating myself because I'm scared to talk about it,

but like it's, it happens and it's very real. It does happen and it is very real. And I just want to say, right, you said, tell me, you wish you could what I want to, like I wish that I could tell stories, but like not of me, like just ones that I've heard are like, it only happened to me once, I think. So I wish I could tell that story, but it's happened to you. I die. You said one of those things where you like quickly come pretend like it, nothing is going

on, you know, but then like, you're so obvious because you were so quickly doing something like, um, you know, just brushing my teeth and, you know, whatever in my bed with no clothes on like, what, if you told, if you told whoever busted on you that you're brushing your teeth, I cannot even trust you. No, I was just saying like you could like quickly get up and act like you were doing something else is all I'm saying. Okay. Goodbye.

Um, no, no, no. So I don't know if this is like an only child thing, but I guess you can tell me if it is or not. So Jackson has a really hard problem with like boundaries and he thinks that like he can go in anywhere in the house, right? So it's like, if my doors closed, he's busting in or if I'm taking a bath, it's like, I could be sitting there having the most luxurious bubble bath and then he just bust in and he's like, Hey mom, do you see this on my tablet or it's like, he doesn't even think that like

the fact the doors were closed and that I'm in the bathtub, you know, it's like, that must be like, um, the age maybe because I just had to have that conversation with my kids. Even Isaac, I was like, you guys need to knock and then it doesn't even have anything to do with sex, like, or like anything like that. It's just like, even if you're just in the bathroom or it's called privacy, look it up, knock on the fucking door. So I looked at my kids in the face, both of them. And I was like, don't bust in my room.

Don't bust in the bathroom. Don't bust it in the, in the bathroom when your brother is in there. Like under no circumstances will you bust through any doors, any one, like just be done with it and knock on the fucking door. So I tell Will like all the time, I'm like, there's no privacy. Like if I go to take a dump, it's like he is knocking on the door and it's like, you see, it's closed, you know, there's a toilet in here. Like what do you think I'm doing?

You see that there's a bathtub. I'm in it. Why are you in here? So we finally had the conversation. I was like, I, I swear to you. Like if you come through this bedroom door again without knocking, oh, and then we did a whole week of the knock and open. It's like knock, knock open.

Right. And it's like, no, no, no. You need some, some acknowledgement that we have heard you knock. Yes, you can come in or no, you cannot. We do not answer. And then he said one time he was like, I just wanted to see how long he would knock. So he did it. And I guess this was after he had gotten like big trouble for busting through our door.

He was just like viciously knocking and he was like, well, is nobody going to come? Does nobody care about me? And it's like, no, we're just like tired of you busting through our freaking door. We can't even have a private intimate time because you're up all fucking hours that I'm up. Like there's not one hour that I am up that you are not casing this place to see what you can get into next. Why are our kids like this?

I don't know. And it's like, am I missing something? Was I supposed to like, when they had a certain age, was I supposed to be like, hey, this is what you don't do from this point forward? You know what I mean? Like, did I miss something? And then while we're on this topic, I got so many freaking DMs of moms sending me pictures of their boys pants or shorts with fricking underwear and I'm in some of them had damn

skid marks and it is like, what the hell is going on? Like, is this what we signed up for? Like, we just, I just, I don't, I don't understand if anybody has any tips on proper boundaries. For kids, please let us know because obviously it's something that we're both struggling and also suffering from in our households. And I promise you tonight, because we have been cooped up in a condo for nine days with each other that if Jackson Campbell comes busting through my door tonight and he is not in his private time in his bedroom, there's going to be a problem.

So I just, I can't, I honestly, I can't deal. Do you not ever feel like that when you go on vacation with your kids? I would say your husband, but like, obviously, you don't have one, but you know what I mean? Like you go on vacation with your, your kids and my case, my husband, and it's like, if I have to look at you two for five more minutes, if you don't give me five minutes, like, that's all. And sometimes that's all it takes is just five minutes, like just to like, yes, 100%. I mean, I feel like that with my kids sometimes it's just like, I just need to, I'm overstimulated

and I just need to like, just chill out for one minute and then we can reconvene. So yeah, I feel like that all the time. Well, I'm so glad that you also feel that way. Not because I want you to struggle, but I also know how to struggle with me. It's relatable. Yes. 100%. So wait, before we go, tell me you got busted in on, you don't have to tell me who busted

in on you. I probably already know, um, this was years ago, but like, did you just do the fake tooth brushing? Well, no, because we weren't in the bathroom, but like, if we were in the bathroom, I would have said that. Um, no, luckily it was like right at the end. So nobody was even naked, but it was just like so quick after we're done that it was like, Oh my God, you know, yeah, and it's like, Oh wow, like, I think we just, I don't know,

we just assume that because the door is closed, right, that nobody's going to enter because we know that if a door was closed, we wouldn't be going in and out knocking. The whole thing is like, let's be honest here, like, I don't know if I'm going to, I hope I don't get shit for this because I'm human, but like when you're a parent, you really have to get it where you can, you know, like, you, I don't say it to be funny, but I'm, I'm being honest, like, if the kids are playing, you have to like your significant other. If you're both home at the same time and the kids are occupied, like that might be your only opportunity because you know, maybe the kids don't sleep through the night or like

maybe your, your significant other works and you're with the kids or vice versa, like you're busy. You know what I'm saying? So there's so many things that are going on and I feel like probably now more than ever, people are really going to relate to that for the pure fact of people being cooped up in their homes with their children since March for, right, right, right, right. So I honestly hope I don't get shit for that because I feel like that's just like being totally, you know, human right now.

No, it is being totally human and it's like, it's been a long time for me just having sex in general. So like, I actually look forward to the day that that, that maybe I get to have a quickie, you know, like one point. Yeah. In the next couple of years, I hope it happens for me, you know, I also hope it happens for you in the next couple of years, you know, what a goal, what a goal, maybe, maybe not 2020 because it's just like, yeah, for sure, not 2020, but, you know, 2021 has a shot.

Might be, might be your year, you know, that might be the year that you have the girl that might be. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, now we're pushing it. I'm just trying to have sex. Like I'm not, I'm not even trying to have get pregnant, but like, I would like that's how we're ending the podcast, the whole world, your whole business, you I'm just trying to have sex. Just, just, you know, you Kale and Lowry are canceled until next week until next Thursday

until next, until next Thursday, you're going to be canceled. It's fine. We're going to be back at the same time and also same place where you guys always find us every week. And yeah, that's really all I've got to say. So goodbye. Can we please end it like that, please? Yeah.

I said goodbye, bitch. Goodbye. Bye.