Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 126: Commitments, Sound Issues, and More Murder Investigations

Episode Date: October 17, 2020

Kail and Lindsie would like to thank you all for being patient with the late release this week. Tech issues are the worst, but missing audio will not stop them from discussing some major topics this week! When you sign your kids up for activities, who would have guessed that was teaching them lessons about commitment? And this week Kail and Lindsie have two separate true crime stories to catch up on. If you have been listening lately you will know about the ongoing case right in Kail's area, and she has some updates about that. Plus you all had a lot to say about American Murder: The Family Next Door, and Kail and Lindsie have done some more digging. This episode of Coffee Convos was well worth the wait! This episode was sponsored by: Uqora, E.L.F Cosmetics, Hello Bello, & Uncommon Goods Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Coffee Combos and this is a special one because Lindsay is in Philly waiting for me to make my arrival. I am good morning. Good morning. Oh my god, let me tell you about, I have so much to tell you about, but I woke up this morning and do you ever feel like you have a day where you ran a marathon but you didn't run a marathon? Yeah, every day.

Yeah, okay, well, mine's not every day, but yesterday was one of those days and it was like I was being pulled in a million directions and then you just feel like your head's gonna fly off your shoulders. Oh yeah. And then you're like, if one more person texts me for something, I'm gonna, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know something, but I just don't know what I'm gonna do something. I literally have had that those days for the past three weeks for me have literally been

like that every single day and I think it's like just everything at once, but I don't know how to live without that type of chaos. Like I, it really like, it starts to feel out of control when I don't have days like that, even though the days that like that are the actual out of control ones. You know, it's interesting that you say that because I feel like that type of chaos sends me into some type of like manic state and it's just a place that I don't like to be, but I feel like since you've lived like that for so long, I don't know any different. Yeah.

So it's like when you don't have it, you feel abnormal. I, um, yeah, I definitely agree with that. And so Lincoln's last game for flag football was on Sunday and we have, you know, I like had a conversation where it was just like, first of all, we weren't even going to sign the kids up for sports because your friend had said on the podcast, like the fall, we're going to just take a break type deal. So I thought we were on board to do that. It never happened.

Well, then this last past, this past Sunday was the championship for football and you know, we had all collectively decided that Lincoln would take a break from football. Like he wanted to take a break, Javi and I were kind of just like, okay, let's just kind of get school going. They're back to in person two days a week. Um, but last night I got a phone call from Javi and he's like, Hey, Lincoln wants to ask you something. And I'm like, Oh shit, what, like what, what, what could he possibly want to ask me for?

Um, he's like, mom, I want to play tackle football. And I'm like, okay, well, let's let me talk to your dad about it. And then we're going to figure this out. So long story short, I would, we were, we were both on the fence about it because football is so much fun and the energy at the football games. I mean, you know, you've been to football games. Um, it's just so great. And I loved it.

And I was kind of sad that flag football was ending. And I was like, but you know what, I don't know that we're ready for, for tackle. You know, like it's, it's, it's different ready. It's a different ball game though. Like it's, so one of the coaches that like helps, um, not Lincoln helped Harvey this season. Um, he's a former NFL player and basically said that they're not really developed, that they shouldn't really play tackle at this point that they need, they basically need

to wait until they're older. Um, I wasn't really aware of that. I mean, I never really was around football growing up. I've only just started because Lincoln plays. So I just don't like Lincoln wants to play and I don't really know, I mean, it's not like he's going to be getting you. Can you imagine like him with the eye black, like under his eyes, I'm dead. I don't know.

Like I'm, I'm just like, I thought I felt good about him playing, but like reading the text that Harvey sent me about, you know, what his friend or assistant coach or whatever you want to call him, um, one of the parents, um, said it's just like one of those things where it's like, I don't know what the right thing is to do here. And I don't know, like he wants to play and it's not like he's going to be getting hit by kids that are like in middle school, you know, he's going to be getting tackled by people that are the same size as him. So I just don't know.

It's so scary. I would be like, get off my kid. I don't like, it's one of those things where it's like, should we try it? And if it's like absolutely horrible and Lincoln's getting like getting hit hard, like I should pull him out or is it, I don't know. This rule, and I don't know about other parents that are listening to this, but we have this rule in our house that if you sign up, then you play, you have to see it through, complete it.

Yep. Literally said that's a hobby. I said, let me actually pull up the text because, um, I feel the same way because at first Lincoln, Lincoln said he wanted to take a break. He's like, I want to take a break from football. And I said, okay, um, I said, because the practices for tackle are three days a week and then games are Saturdays where flag football is practice the same day and the game the same day.

I said, Jackson does soccer, which is, it's kind of nice that way for the parents. It's a little weird, but it is nice for the parents as far as like scheduling. You don't have to schedule like a midweek practice. Yep. Um, but I said, I texted Javi and I said, explained to him once he commits to the season, then he has to see it through. He can't decide. He doesn't want to play anymore and quit mid season.

That's not what we're doing. Um, and the, um, I already Javi and I just spent $500 to get him signed up all the gear and we split it down the middle, you know, but, um, but then again, it's like, it's tackle. So if it's not working out, we would, we would be the ones to pull them. And I guess I don't know how to, I don't know how I would explain that then to him that, okay, you're not allowed to quit, but we're mom and dad are allowed to pull you out. Like, how does that work?

I guess you can explain it to him based off. You don't know what the safety level is because you haven't, you know, been around it at that age and that if there is true risk of him getting hurt, then obviously his safety is going to come before the commitment. Okay. That makes safety before commitment. Okay. That, that's a good idea.

That's definitely something we could talk about. So I, um, but back to that point, what you were saying about not signing up for sports and whatever, I have said that same thing and I imagine so many people who are listening have threatened their husbands and kids that, or, or just like baby dads or whatever it is, um, that their kids aren't playing that sport the next season, but it's almost like I say that. And then I immediately regret saying that because before I got on the plane yesterday, I was able to go to 45 minutes of Jackson's game and he was three for three with the first

run and I'm like, how do you say no? Like y'all aren't doing this. Right. Right. You love it. You can't stop. And then you feel like, okay, am I just a psychopath? Like I'm threatening all of this stuff.

I think mine's more of the lack of parent commitment than it is. Like it has nothing to do with the kids. Like the kids are all fine and Jackson's commitment is fine. It's just the lack of parent involvement. It's like if I'm dedicating my time and we're all being committed to this, I feel like, you know, when you sign your kids up for sports, back to what you were saying, like it truly is a commitment and you don't get to pick and choose like, oh, little Johnny isn't coming to baseball today because he's just not feeling it.

It's like, no, you're committed to your team and I've tried to explain that to Jackson. That's actually something that Joe and I have struggled with in the past. Like that's truly, you know, when Isaac would commit to sports, especially when we first moved to Delaware. You know, when we first moved here, Isaac had eight overnights a month and so every other weekend it was Thursday to Sunday and then he wouldn't be able to make his, like we signed him up for soccer out here right away and he would miss every other week. So it was like, what is the point, but it's one of those things where you don't really

think about how important it is going to be long term, like teaching your kids about commitment. Like that's something that, you know, you don't really think of the long term effects of letting them slip, letting them slide, letting them not, not go to practice, letting them, you know what I mean? Like you don't think about it, but in the, I think just being aware of those little things could actually make a huge difference later on as far as commitments go is like huge. And that's something I think about all the time.

Like I don't know any other parent who's listening if they have these same like anxieties, but lately I feel like I think more about the small amount of time that we have to, to mold our children into, into being really good adults for a huge amount of time. Do you know what I mean? Like 18 years is a really small amount of time. You're really creating habits and teaching them commitments and doing all of those things. Like really in the first like 10 to 15 years, you know what I mean? And then they have to like take these habits and, and, and values and stuff and be good

people for 75 years. Yeah. Like all throughout. And I just had these like, I don't, but I feel like I'm stressing out about them more now than I ever have. Like when I first started having kids, I never thought about like instilling values and teaching them about commitment and doing that through sports and like, um, you know, just like habits of like doing your homework as soon as you come home and like all of those things.

Like I, I don't know. It's just maybe you're in how I'm thinking about it more now. Maybe it goes back to, um, to the fact that you didn't have that growing up and you want your kids to be able to, to do it differently than what you did. Because we probably both can say to a degree that commitment issues are there. I definitely know that I have them, I hate for people to depend on me. Um, I just, I don't know why I'm that way, but I just, I hate it. I like to depend on myself and I don't like to depend on other people either.

So I don't know, but I also didn't play sports that took like a whole team, you know, it's like I didn't dance and it's like, okay, well, if I know the routine, I don't really care if, uh, someone else doesn't know it, Sandra over there, doesn't know it, you know, um, but yeah, I think just them playing a sport that it collectively takes a team to do it. I just hate to see kids that are so good and invested in something and then they have the parents that just aren't equally invested and they're not teaching them that, you know, this is a commitment. You don't pick something else over something that you're already committed to.

Like if something better comes along, then you pick that. I just don't agree with that. I definitely feel like if I had that growing up, I would, my, I wouldn't have some of the commitment issues that I have now. You know what I mean, right? We do homework. So actually Jackson school this year, which I'm so excited about, they have a no homework policy.

I had a couple teachers of, um, Isaac's in fifth grade this year, but up until this point, we've had a couple years where their teachers are like, you know, you do enough schoolwork at home and the parents, um, it's more for the parents because like sports, dinner time, work, all of that, it was more, it was more about that for them as far as I know. Um, so is that, is it the same for Jackson or no? Yeah. So basically last year, I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast or not, but

in kindergarten, the homework assignments were super simple, but for a kindergartner, he was like, Oh, this is so hard. It's like, write your name on the lines properly five times or whatever. And he's like, my hand hurts and I'm like, he sounds like Lincoln. Come on. Right. And his teacher gave a homework calendar at the beginning of each month and at the end of each month, the homework was due.

So it wasn't due every single day. So she took into account, you know, that parents have other stuff going on as long as you turn it in at the end of the month, then perfectly fine. This year, the school across the board in all classes, it's a no homework policy. Okay. Because of everything going on. Right. So I'm like, well, I think that that's really good.

Um, especially just, especially, especially. I was about to correct you. I was literally about to correct you in like a laughing way though. Like I don't know. It's funny to me. You know what? I actually noticed yesterday I did it too, and I tried to correct myself as well. And now I, um, what is it called where you're like, um, self-conscious, yeah, like hyper

aware of it. Yeah. So now I'm going to do everything to like go around that word. So I don't say it. So what's another word that I can say, um, especially you can say like, I don't know, I'll think of it. I'll think of something. Especially.

Is that right? Especially. I say especially. I don't know what I say, whatever, somebody's probably going to correct me and I really just don't care. Um, but anyway, moving on from that, um, I wanted to tell you that Jackson started school yesterday and you cried like a baby, bald like a baby. Yeah.

Lincoln started on Thursday and I bawled my eyes out. It was as bad as like if they were first kindergarten, kindergarten, yeah, I knew you're, I thought the same thing. And I think were you allowed in the school or no, no, neither was I and Lincoln started at a new school because he started the Spanish, the half day Spanish program. So I'm like, he's at a new school. He really didn't want to go. I was upset.

It was, you know what I mean? I wasn't allowed in. I completely understand. I didn't even expect to have, did you expect yourself to have an emotional reaction? Cause I didn't. I felt like leading up to it as the days got closer, knowing that he was going, I kind of felt like I was going to be upset, but I didn't think that I would cry. Like it was literally like dropping him off for school for the first time.

I did not cry. I didn't expect to cry the way I did. I didn't even feel like, you know, like, oh, I'm going to cry when I drop him off. I didn't even feel like that was like, once he got out of the car, I was like, oh my God. I know. I sent, um, Lux's school, preschool, he's in three year preschool. He, I had him start back when Lincoln started back, but so he'll only go two days as well. But I didn't, I did not cry when I dropped off Lux.

Um, I don't know why I didn't cry, but I think I truly think Lux needed it more than I did. Right. You know, like Lux, I think has been so bored and just like needed to go to school and he had a really great day. And then it was really nice because when I picked them up, Lincoln was like, I love my new school. I can't wait to go back.

And so hearing that, oh, you hear Lux. He said, and me, Lux is like, and me. Yeah. He's like, I can't wait to go back either. So like, I love that Lincoln had such a good day because then Lux is like looking up to that and like hearing that and, and it actually warmed my heart a little bit. That's so sweet. Well, and it probably was easier too because Lux was going back to the school.

He already was familiar with. Yeah. Yeah. So he became really good friends with like Eli at football on Sundays and, and now he asks, is Eli going to be there because he'll see him when he walks by Eli's classroom to get to his classroom. So it's kind of like, I think comforting, even though they're not in the same room, it's comforting to know that, you know, there's someone he knows at the school.

At the school. That's so cute. But yeah, I was so sad. And so my day was just like, what do I do with myself? Yeah. You know, it's, we've had these humans at home that we created for on the 14th of this month would be eight months that Jackson has been home with me without being away. And I was just didn't know how to function with myself.

And it's crazy because at first everyone was like, so it was like chaos. We didn't know what to do with our kids. We didn't like, and it's, it's kind of like a roller coaster because that, you know, for periods of time, we're like frustrated and overwhelmed because we don't know, we need time. We all need time to ourselves. The kids need time, you know, to have their independence at school. We need time to get our work done.

But then at the same time, you're like, we, for me, at least, I really have enjoyed having my kids at home because this is something that we're never going to get back, you know, like we're never going to have get to be home with our kids all day for, you know, months at a time. And I, I do kind of, um, what's, appreciate the, you know, the reconnecting period. Me too. I guess we can call it. And then I kind of posted about that on Instagram this week because, and I didn't want people

to think that it was being insensitive to the fact that there's the reason they're home is because of a pandemic. However, as a mother, it's like, you really, um, look at the, what do you call it? Like you look at the bright spot of it or, um, the bright side. Yeah. Like you look at the bright side of it and it's like, yes, there's a pandemic, but this is also over time afforded me the, like uninterrupted time with my child that I would have never had, had there not been a pandemic.

Yeah. 100%. And I had such a hard time and I know so many parents that are listening. It's so hard to send your kids to freaking kindergarten. Oh, it's so hard. And the stories that I heard of parents sending their kids to kindergarten this year and not being able to walk their kid in on the first day, literally tore my heart up. Cause I was like, I, I don't know if my kid would have attended kindergarten.

Yeah. That's hard. That's, that's a big decision, you know, like that's like, uh, it's so crazy. Like, I don't think that parents ever, like this isn't something you think about when you have a baby, you know, like all the, what is it like ebbs and flows? Is that? Yeah. Ebbs and flows.

Ebbs and flows. I'm so glad we don't know what we're saying, but we're trying to say what we think we know what we're saying. Oh, for sure. But then there was that really reassuring feeling after I picked him up from school. Um, he had a doctor's appointment and then baseball and somehow I managed to put spaghetti in the crock pot, um, for them to have a meal after they got home from baseball yesterday. Well that was nice of you.

And it just as busy as the day was, it was just a really good day and a really reassuring day. Sometimes you just have those days as parents where you're like, I feel like I've done something right. Like my kid did really good at school. He did really good at sports. He ate a really good dinner. Like it was just one of those days.

Yeah. I love days like that. I mean, I wish we had more of them. Me too. I'm like, can I be every day, but then you wouldn't appreciate them. Right. It's like, cause then it would be your norm. Yesterday, um, I did not have one of those days yesterday.

I had a very emotional day. Um, tell me. So it started off, I went to the gym earlier than I normally do, um, which was fine, but I had gotten to like a weird discussion with someone and it was just like threw me off a little bit and I don't want to go into it, but, um, so I was already like a little bit feeling weird. We'll say at least what it's about. I'm nosy.

It was about having more kids truthfully. Like it was really about like, I'm just right now I'm in such a phase of like I need to get myself together like for me and I, you know, creed is creed stresses me out more than anything I've ever, I think experienced. Yeah. So I'm just like in a place where I don't know that I want to have kids. Once I find me again and once I get my body back and being older, it's harder for me to get my body back.

And so just like all of these things, I don't know that I would want to have more kids in five years or three years. I don't know. So it's just like a weird, it was like a weird conversation. So that happened. And then afterwards I went directly from the gym, I went right to therapy, which is kind of like two forms of therapy. Like, you know, you, when you go to the gym and you're clearing your head out and whatever

whatever, but, um, you know, I've had a, um, a crazy week between the episode of teen mom airing last night and, um, just some other stuff that I'm dealing with, with Lux and Creed, uh, I went into therapy and I went 20 minutes over my session and I'm crying and I just, I'm in this like season or maybe it's mercury in retrograde. I don't know what it is, but I've just like been so hard on myself. Like I, I'm not seeing changes. I feel the changes as far as shit as I feel the changes as far as therapy goes and try to follow the bouncing ball here, cause this is why I'm in therapy.

Like I feel like I am not, other people are not seeing or feeling the changes or they expect more out of me and I'm not able to give them what they want. So it's stressing me out as far as like my fans and supporters who listen to the podcast and, and watch the show, I feel like they're not, they, they maybe don't see some of the changes that I've made and last night was a prime example of that. Like I knew something that I had filmed last December was going to air last night. And now today I would never, ever, ever, um, film about some, about what I filmed about, right?

Like I wouldn't do that. And secondly, I probably wouldn't have given a fuck if I filmed about it like I have in the past. I've said things in the past about other people's relationships that weren't my fucking business or my place and I didn't feel bad about it. Last night, something aired as you guys probably watched it on team mom. I had said something about, you know, Javi trying to hook up with me or whatever. And just the feeling of guilt, one, I should have never filmed about that and two, putting

myself in Lauren's shoes. Like I felt sick to my stomach and that's the God's honest truth. That's not me trying to save face. That's not me, you know, I've read the comments, it's, it's, it was really like sickening to myself, you know? And so in that way, I know that I've made progress and so I wanted to, I apologize to her privately and I also wanted to apologize to her publicly, but like, I feel like that's still not good enough.

Do you know what I mean? Like, so I went to therapy and I'm like, I still feel sick, like I still feel like I'm overwhelmed with these emotions and I don't know how to fix what I've done. And then on top of it, I've been preaching about therapy for a year and I'm still, yes, I feel the guilt from doing it this time, but other people don't feel the same thing. Do you get what I mean? So I do get what you mean. And I don't think that I've ever shared this with you before, but the way that I can relate

to this and the TV aspect is when I separated from Will and went to Nashville and filmed about it, breaking the news to my parents and then the hard part of that was then weeks later after Will and I were already in communication about possibly not going through with a divorce, then having to film the interviews as if I was in the same place. And so that was really, really hard for me to watch back and to have to watch Will go through that and to see all of the media clips and everything that came out after the fact. And I just truly can't imagine how you felt with it being such an intimate thing and then knowing that you are in such a better place now than you were whenever you filmed it and

just feeling the complete guilt, I can't imagine that aspect of it. I don't think that people realize that there's a long time, most of the time, between when we film something and when it comes out and nobody really knows if we've gone to therapy or done the necessary work to be different. And I know that sounds like you see reality people try to save face all the time and they repeat history and I'm guilty of that I think, but this time I really have done the work. This month marks a year of me doing therapy and so I really mean it when I say I never felt bad about doing some of the things on TV that I've done before and this time I actually

felt bad. And I think it's a learning lesson, unfortunately it's a very hard learning lesson, but the fact is is that you watched it, saw the clips that came out on social media and your reaction to it was completely different this time because of the work that you have done over the past year and I think that speaks volumes and unfortunately you are living your life honestly recording a docu-series and I think some reality TV shows aren't documented in the same way that you guys are and for that, that's really hard to know that you're living your honest raw truth and then some shows just don't reflect that same way and so what you get

in the press is completely different than a lot of other reality stars. What else do we have going on? Well, so the reason that the episode is late is because for some reason something on my recorder internally shuts off at a certain time and it recorded the first half of the episode and then completely cut off. It's like a ghost. I've never seen anything like it. It literally is like the whole first half perfect audio and then you wonder what happened

like as if we didn't have a conversation but you're talking but I'm not. But it's not notifying you? No, she's shaking her head no. So now we're recording the episode in person with one microphone and we're passing it back and forth so we just want you all to know that we love you all for listening and we wouldn't do it this way if it wasn't for you guys and we're very sorry that this happened but it'll be fine. So we were sitting here right before we got on the little mic sharing passing game because

Kale's mic stand is nowhere to be found. Had I known, I walked 0.3 miles to get here which seems like very dramatic that I say 0.3 miles. It literally took me five minutes. It was like three blocks but I could have brought my mic stand. I literally brought that thing all the way through the airport. I didn't check a bag. It was so heavy.

I had to stop in the airport like no lie like six times because my bags were so heavy trying to get here with all of the shit that I brought and the people when I was trying to get my bag off of the overhead compartment there was a guy sitting behind me and he was like do you need help? Did you pack for a really long time? Your bag's bigger than you. And you were like no sir mind your business. I also want to add Lindsay came on Tuesday because MTV was supposed to film this entire

time in Philly for the podcast and I guess last minute they decided that it was too much. Is that right? Do you guys hear the motorcycle outside? We're in the hotel in Philadelphia so you may or may not hear traffic outside and I just want to preface it now because or acknowledge it now because we know that you're going to leave it in the comments but we know we hear it too. So it was a COVID thing? So coronavirus task force shut down the production shoot for coffee convo's podcast in Philadelphia

because there were too many people that needed to be tested for COVID and protocol because I guess there's like a ton of regulations and shit for filming now which is understandable but also like what the fuck? I feel like we all know we don't have coronavirus like I took a test you've taken a test so unknown however teen mom's not here we're still here we're still hanging we're about to get cheesecake from cheesecake factory it's going to be a good time yeah kills eating it tonight um also another thing that I wanted to talk about was something that we were talking about before we got on the podcast and do you just want to ask me or do you want me

to bring it up because I don't even know what to say because you were like we need to talk about that on the podcast I think okay all right so we're here in the hotel room and my friends husband bought her a sex toy for fun right and Lindsay said to me that she feels like using these types of things is cheating and I said wow like I have a lot of questions so Lindsay I need to know from you I need to know your position on this so if you have kids in the car I suggest maybe stopping this episode right now and maybe not playing it until your kids are not around so Lindsay why do you feel like sex toys are cheating so I feel like obviously if you're using a sex toy then it's another dick and

this one had like multiple other things on there so I'm like I don't even know what that is I'm concerned and I view it kind of like as watching porn so yes I do because I feel like it's have we talked about this before about it being okay so I am definitely triggered by porn I don't support that industry in any form or fashion never have never will I think it's predatory and I do feel like I have heard from other friends that have significant others whether it be husband boyfriend whatever that have a huge problem with it because they tend to watch the same girl and so it's like an emotional connection and so for that it's like you're you're getting off to that person every time you're watching it so for me if

it was like a one-time thing maybe I might feel a little differently about it but it's like obviously if a man is watching it or a woman's watching it you have certain things that you like to watch so if you're watching that then is it the same person that you're watching every time because if so then I think that there's something emotionally there I'm not quite sure that you would have an emotional connection to your vibrator you might if you really like it but I just feel like if you're I don't know like I just I don't agree I don't like those kinds of things so I definitely could see where you're coming from with the same person that never really crossed my mind because I mean if we're being honest I watch

porn I don't think I've ever seen a video with the same like I know that there's multiple videos with the people that I've seen in the videos but I have never watched a second video based on someone I've seen in the first video does that make sense like I've never seen the same person twice I don't watch it regularly either so I don't have like a porn problem at all that's very interesting so the toys is not so much cheating what if you're using them with that your partner okay so I think then that's a different thing because your partner is involved in that but if you're just like I don't know like at a random hotel in Philly and you've just got like a vibrator with 25 heads on it like that's weird to me

like it's and maybe it maybe it's normal maybe I'm the weirdo I just don't like stuff like that like I don't like porn I don't like I have a weird yeah the whole like the words weird and everything about it's weird and I'm just not I'm not a fan and I need to know why people feel the need to do it I also feel like if you have if you're in a relationship I understand more so for people who aren't in active relationships that are watching this but if you're in a relationship with somebody and you're watching porn what void are you filling by doing that because if there's a void in your relationship that you need to be watching porn to fill it then I feel like something's missing in the relationship

okay so clarify so say I'm in a relationship and they're at work no that's not a good that's not a good example they're away they're away on a work trip for a week and door dash is calling me they're away on a work trip for a week and I want to have sex but I can't is watching porn and doing whatever I need to do cheating I mean if that was a will I would probably be like no no don't do it okay because I also feel like it's not something I'm doing okay so I think in different relationships there are certain boundaries that you set and certain things that you agree with or you disagree with and that and now wills texting me about Jackson's baseball team the hot rods people trying to figure out where practice

is today so moving on I feel like for us that was a conversation that we had going into the marriage that that was just not something that I was okay with and I was never okay with that and it truly is a deal breaker for me like if you are in a relationship with me and you're doing it I will in the relationship if we're engaged I will end an engagement if we're married I will divorce you I don't I don't I have no judgment I'm just so like this is so curious to me like I have so many because I don't think that in any relationship I've ever been in that has ever been a conversation so I would be curious to see if I was to bring it up I will say it wasn't a conversation when will and my relationship started which

we were so young 19 years old but we didn't have that conversation until probably about a year into the relationship and I think that's kind of like what opened pandora's box so at the point that and maybe just naive for me too because I don't want to say like I'm so pure or you know whatever but because I was fully committed to that relationship with him I wanted full commitment from him in the relationship with me and again this also goes back to religious beliefs for me and I just don't think it's holy and I don't I just don't agree with it so and and it's actually a very uncomfortable topic when it comes up in church because it's actually preached on in church yeah just like about basically

like why porn shouldn't be a thing and like why religiously people shouldn't do that yeah I think a lot of people truly view it as cheating I will be so interested to know after this episode drops how many people view it as cheating for me just because I have watched it and I have like I'm pretty sure all my partners have watched it it's never been an issue in the relationship like it's not like anyone was like addicted to it or anything like that so I feel like maybe that's why I don't see it as cheating but as far as like like I said if if I'm in a relationship and they're away for work and I watch it and do what I do one time out of the week I don't to me that or if they did it if the roles were reversed

and my partner did it I wouldn't be upset like that's not something that I would be upset about but I could see what you're saying like I totally get it I'm it's so weird because I feel like in my life it's so normal not not like I don't want to say normal what's the word I'm looking for Kristen normalized yeah it's accepted in yeah like I'm not I'm not sensitive to it it doesn't bother me it doesn't make me uncomfortable like I'm like actually like wondering what kind of porn like if my friends like what kind of porn do you watch you know like well like there's like weird themed porn too and I'm like okay now that's like fetishy and so then I'm like okay am I with a creep like those are all

things that I need to know prior to going into this like are you watching Halloween porn because if you are there's like yes there's like all different various types of themed porn holiday porn's like all these things I'm like if I the thoughts like and and I think too going into the relationship I had a whole different life plan right it's like I knew very early on when Will and I met that I was going to spend hopefully the rest of forever with him but I was definitely going to marry him and so for me I was just so invested and committed to that that I think anything that would be taboo would have been hurtful to me because I was so committed to that and I saved myself for him and so to

know that like you are a virgin going into the situation but then that would be going on behind the scenes that's very hurtful I don't know I think it's maybe I wonder is it a north versus south thing too as far as like beliefs go like I feel like in the north like it's very just like or maybe it's not maybe it's just my friend group like talk about it like it's normal no I feel like everybody's freaks except I'm just like very what would you say I guess like conservative in that regard I want to say I don't know it just so weird to me also to hear all different perspectives of this because some people literally don't even care but then a lot of my friends at home share the same opinions as me about this

like maybe is it maybe is it the way we were raised I don't know but interesting so I think everybody needs to write in and let us know where you stand on I will call it an issue kale would call it a topic and let us know what you think all right guys we're gonna take a quick break to talk about one of our newest partners and that is uncommon goods it is also one of my newest obsessions and for those of you that have hard to gift people in your life finally there is an easy answer and it's uncommon goods dot com if you're on the hunt for unique unusual gifts that are guaranteed to delight you've come to the right spot uncommon goods has all the best gifts no matter who you're

gifting or what the occasion is and I was on their website a couple of days ago and I legitimately looked up and had been on the website for like two hours looking at stuff and I would just click from page to page from category to category and I would keep finding stuff for people in my life that I was like oh they would like this gift or I could gift this to so and so so one of the things that I found the last time I was shopping was something called nacho psorias which is something for Jackson it's a little dinosaur chip holder and then a little container that you can put like guac queso or salsa in for like a little Mexican night so I loved that I got myself a sponge holder for the kitchen because I

just felt like as I was scrolling that I needed that and then I also purchased a mask spray so as you can see I shopped in so many different categories and I just think they have the most unique gifts that you can find online and the selection is so great so you can shop art jewelry kids kitchen home and bar uncommon goods truly has unique gifts for everyone and I love that you can support artists and small independent businesses by shopping uncommon goods and uncommon goods looks for products that are high quality unique and often handmade or designed in the US and they'll help you find meaningful and always out of the ordinary gifts and another thing that I love is the giving back with every purchase

that you make it on common goods they give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice they've donated more than $2 million to date so to get 15% off your first gift go to uncommon goods.com slash combos that's uncommon goods.com slash combos for 15% off you don't want to miss out on this limited time offer uncommon goods cool unique and unusual gifts moving on what do we have to talk about yeah we talked about the bail thing but we it probably got cut off actually so we didn't really talk about it on this we where it cut off was we were talking about the little girl that had been found in your area and surprisingly enough I got a message last night that was saying that this was it the stepdad so the stepdad

supposedly his parents had been posting pictures of the little girl as if she wasn't gone like old pictures of her so now that makes me think just based off of what you said and you can give the update on here in just a second but it makes me think like were the parents involved in this or did they know about it and we're trying to cover it so the story that I'm hearing on like the football fields and stuff because they I'm friends with people who were friends with them and who grew up with them basically that Brandon Hawes the stepdad caused a fight with his family so that they wouldn't ask about the little girl is the story that I got from my friend who knows someone that grew up with him so that was the story that I got which

maybe maybe the parents put two and two together and were posting pictures of the little girl or maybe like they don't know what happened you know what I mean like maybe but I wanted to I pulled up my Facebook because I wanted to show you that I was had mutual friends with this guy and it was just like why didn't he disable his Facebook if he's out on bond you know what I mean like disable your social media so and like people are commenting posting on his wall and stuff and then this is the girlfriend who I also also have a mutual friend with which is a different one his Facebook I think it's this one or maybe how old was a little girl between two and three okay well this little girl is younger than two so I'm

thinking it's maybe this one okay so he was released on one one million dollar bail and my question was what well one it was like how does he pay for that and Lindsay had said that they don't actually have to pay the one million dollars to get out to bond out or bail out they only have to pay a percentage of it well then what is the fucking point of saying here you're on your out on one million dollar bail I don't understand I don't really understand either I know it's 10% of whatever the bond is set at so if it was a million dollars it's 10% of that and I would assume someone like like this man probably got a bondsman to give to put up you know the the money and he's out on bond but to me I think

it's a situation to where when you're out on bond it's kind of like a monetary value that is attached to that and your bondsman is basically keeping tabs on you and stuff to make sure you're not flight risk and so on and so forth so that you're gonna appear at your core and whatever but what was weird to me was that you said that he got out but the mom didn't so was no one willing to put up bond for her or is there something more to the story that's just not out yet because I don't know which is very strange to me that he would get out what is the story around town like that happened or nobody really knows and I just we're looking on Google right now being the FBI and then we had talked about

if it was an accident or you know if it was premeditated or whatever you call it either way if you were talking about if a shelf like fell on your kid and something happened and like harmed your child or God forbid like killed your kid an accident your natural instinct as a mother or I would imagine as a father would be to pick up and call 911 to get some kind of help the natural reaction is not to hide it if it truly was an accident I mean that's just that's how I feel I feel like if there was ever an accident I would immediately call for help just because it was an accident but if you have something to hide you're gonna hide the body this says that bail for each of them had been set to $1 million record

show that Brandon Haas has been released as of Monday it says yep Smirna that's where my kids go to school after the child's remains were found last fall Smirna police detectives began working with the National Center for Missing and Exploiting Children also was the youngest one oh chronic illnesses so she had chronic illnesses what does that mean exactly okay Indiana court records show a battle in 2016 and 17 over custody of Emma in September 2016 she was placed in the custody of a family member on Friday okay so Emma appears to be the youngest of the girls Brandon is not her biological father I did hear that she went back to her father her biological father or a family member and then when she came back

she came back to her mom and then that's when she was killed but at the age of the child that shows right there that there was significance of something going on with the mother not being either fit or whatever because that child is so young for that to have gone on in those years so and then for her to get the child back and then for something like this to happen is just very suspicious to me I've heard of like parents and stuff fighting for custody and end up killing the children so that they don't have to share the child with the other parent I've seen that on like the ID channel and stuff I've never seen that on the ID channel but now that you said that now I'm gonna go and try to Google maybe I won't Google it

because I would be like afraid for something to be like oh was this something that you were doing but no that's literally insane but I also could see where a situation like that could get super sticky and just not wanting to share but obviously that's not a reason that you kill your child you know it's also to the Chris Watts case and that situation you know him killing off his family to be with a girlfriend and thinking that you're not gonna get caught and you've killed your entire family like what normal well first off a normal human and a normal mental state isn't going and killing their family however what type of human just thinks in this day and time they're gonna get away really with

anything like that that's insane to me and then I'd gotten messages about how Shanann's family had filed a lawsuit against Chris Watts to where he can't collect any money on any like if he did a book deal if documentaries or anything paid the sell of the house he can't collect any money on which then brought will and I were talking about this and will was like well what would he use the money on anyway and I was like well common theory maybe you're like can you put money on my books first of all who's gonna buy that house that everyone knows three people were murdered in and to your point so we live in 2020 right so this is a time where like you can get divorced and leave your family and unfortunately pretty

fucking normal so why not do that instead of killing them off and here's the thing you won't go to jail for that and then I saw in DMs to that people had messaged and said that the girlfriend had had Google searches where she had googled how much Amber Fry had made from that other case on a book deal yes and then she had deleted all these text messages and whatever and she said that she only deleted them because she was angry but I'm sorry if you're angry you're keeping all contents of anything that anybody that has pissed you off to hold his leverage right like you're not just going to delete messages unless you have something to hide at that point and then somebody said that Shanann was in a someone

said to me in a message that Shanann was in multi-level marketing company or something I thought it was Thrive whenever Will and I were watching the documentary I was like he was like what are all these patches are these nicotine patches these people are wearing and I'm like no they're all not smokers I'm pretty sure it's Thrive but like she was always on social media sharing her life with everyone and so for the girlfriend to not look it up and then it had been uncovered somewhere that she had actually looked it up and saw that she was pregnant and when she found out that it was a boy that's when things got crazy because she wanted to give the girlfriend wanted to give him a boy and she was jealous

of the life that Shanann had and then so many conspiracy theorists are saying that if you play back people have sent me stuff and I just haven't watched it but it's like clips and if you play back tapes of footage like you'll see some woman like walking with her hair in a ponytail and sunglasses on top of her head and certain footage like she was she was there so was she involved actually in I'm sorry she was behind the scenes like in interviews and stuff no like she was like on the footage where her neighbors their neighbors had had like what are those called those little camera things or whatever rings and stuff where neighbors footage caught stuff they caught him like getting something out of

Shanann's car and then they the same video or something that there was a glimpse of like the girlfriend which they they thought was the girlfriend it was like a woman with a ponytail and sunglasses on her head so was she way more involved than what anybody knows I legitimately think so yeah yeah honestly I think that after watching whatever they had on TV about it I think that he could have gotten away with it had he not because the only thing that they really had against him in that moment was the lie detector test but that doesn't uphold in court and if he didn't crack when they like kept asking him they would have never found those bodies well and then when they actually went out to like where

he worked or where he left the bodies they found I believe a sheet right but I just also feel like that's kind of crazy that you would go to your place of work like just I do believe that he would have gotten caught because with the way things are now I do feel like they would have sent search and rescue or whatever out to his job site knowing that it's like a field of whatever and obviously if your wife and children just go missing then to some degree you're gonna be a subject that's looked at I just think that's crazy like I don't know the girlfriend I definitely think was involved and you guys keep sending messages of everything that you find because I'm so in that like I'm truly so invested so Kristen

just told me that Shanan's mom instantly thought something was wrong and he did it she said to check the the truck GPS in the discovery so Kristen y'all who know who she is has read the discovery or is reading the discovery which is over a thousand pages and there's way more in the discovery than they put in any of the documentaries which is weird to me because I feel like they would want to include some of those details that are actually very very important to Chris's conviction and to his guilt right like explain more about the GPS okay so in on one of the interviews or the documentaries on TV Shanan's friend immediately calls police without okay so like that leads me to believe that

Chris has threatened her in the past or something because I know that if I go on a trip and I come home and I don't talk to my friends for 10 hours they're not calling the police immediately so something is 10 hours nobody's calling the police maybe like 24 hours somebody's definitely calling the police on me you know what I'm saying but like what I mean is well I was really sick this one time and so understandable but what I'm saying is something had to have been weird and like fishy because should get that type of reaction in the way that it was covered in the documentary how that friend was freaking out so bad and how she was so adamant about the police going into the house because she knew something was wrong that to

me is a sign of the friend knows more than what's being said it's but it's also weird and unclear though he's never shown signs of aggression or domestic violence or any things of those of that nature in the past right so like I feel like so Kristen saying that the friend was supposed to take Shanan to the doctor's appointment for the new baby and Chris was not happy about the new baby although we see a video on TV that he's excited and he's fine with it and it doesn't seem to be a problem and she's excited but nervous for the doctor appointment and doesn't she would never miss it so I could see like the that that makes sense but I mean I don't want to diagnose him because I'm not like a therapist

or anything or doctor but I think definitely multiple personality disorder narcissist living truly a double life because when she had in the documentary when she had her girls at her parents house he was so concerned about working out and doing all of these things like it was truly like he was preparing his life for what he currently had to be over I don't know I don't know why you would not just leave your family there has to be I wonder if he's except like if he's allowed to accept I mean I wouldn't consider us a fan I mean I want to pull the teen mom to card and be like Chris my friend Lindsay and I have a podcast and we want to pick your brain like I want to pull that card and be like

why like that's just like the burning question to me is like why not just leave them like that is it just doesn't make sense to me like he said it wouldn't say why he said that Chris and saying that Chris Watts claims that he didn't leave his children because he didn't want them to think that he was a monster for leaving his for leaving their pregnant mother so he'd rather them just not be there okay well what the fuck you're a monster for killing them I literally have no words because we've talked about this so many times about these cases and how we can't try to rationalize these actions because they're not normal reactions to anything like no normal human being is thinking oh the grass looks greener over there so I'm

going to kill all this off and then go over there and I'm not going to get caught and I'm going to dump their bodies at my work I try to I try very hard and I think I'm pretty good at putting myself in other people's shoes and even if I don't agree with them I'm able to see from their perspective right like porn conversation for example I see where you're coming from that's not my lifestyle but I don't give a fuck it's like I understand where you're coming from I am trying to put myself in a place where I mean and the first thing that came to mind was when I got divorced when I didn't want to be with him anymore my first thought was never to kill him I'm just like my first thought was I need to go see an attorney

and I need to get the fuck out I cannot even put myself in a place where I would think about something like that well again because you're a normal functioning human being and that's where this person or these people who do this because this is not just Chris Watts this is just across the board you know like you can study the psyche of serial killers or murders or whatever and their common traits amongst all of them and it's truly some type of like mental disorder or illness and lack of empathy. So do we think that his mental illness and this whole thing has always been the case or do we think that this is something that he developed since he had been married to

Shanann and then secondly this was obviously premeditated then and for how long oh he did say he planned okay so but for how long like did he know that she was going on this business trip and that he was going to kill them in the way that he was going to kill them and all of that like he knew all of those things I think yeah he tried to kill his girls twice and I think truly he knew the night that he went to bed with her had sex with her that night that he truly knew that like that was the end like that was over but I truly think that something happened between him having sex with her because that was also a part of the doc the documentary where she was saying to her friend over text message when she was

at her parents house and Chris had come to visit that they hadn't had sex and however long and that he was not interested in doing that so I truly do think that it was all premeditated when she you know comes back home from this business trip that they have sex she has no reason to see any red flags and I think he killed her in her sleep I really do what do you think Kristen Kristen says she thinks it's a crime of passion had sex got into an argument and strangled her he also oh he also claimed that he told her that night that it was over right and then that's when like the wheels started falling off no I think that he had I truly do think that it was a thought in his mind over time because he was

playing I mean it was like he was planning I don't know if it was to necessarily kill him but it was definitely I don't know I think just what do you but I don't know by him saying I think he's just honestly a pathological liar I think that I think that I think that I think that it's also messed up I think that he knew what her reaction was going to be when I truly think he knew what her reaction was going to be when he had sex with her and then told her that it was over I think he knew that she was going to act like that and I think that he went into a rage and I think literally strangled her or I was under the impression I had made myself believe that he killed her in her sleep

and then killed the girls he smothered them in their reds with their pillows went room to room smothered them had sex with the mom killed the mom as he was strangling her the daughters walked in he thought they were dead with a one daughter walked in he thought they were dead he said and he literally said in one of those letters he wrote that the one girl he said shenan's eyes filled up with blood and then he said that the kids looked like they had been through trauma like their eyes were messed up so then that's what he realized he had to kill them again like actually killed them because they saw him strangling her it was like a whole fucked up so I know she came shenan came home around like 2 a.m.

their flight was delayed I knew that part the daughters were not dead at this point no okay so he kills shenan and then one of the daughters walks in so now are they both alive or only one of them is alive so do we even think that he killed them well that's what I'm saying maybe he didn't even try before he killed shenan maybe that was made up but he also said that he was okay okay so then they were dead before shenan or he tried but not you know I'm gonna say something I've never said before last October I was smothered and literally should I not say that should I not be honest okay I was supposed to say like that feeling of like you don't know if you're

gonna get your last breath is the scariest moment you could ever feel ever and so as an adult I felt that I can't imagine as a child how old were his kids like four three they were probably so confused and so scared and I can't imagine like Lux is three years old like I would never be able to put him through that and then do it again like Chris should literally be tortured and the same shit should be done to him I 1000% agree and I think honestly if you ever I don't know if other people have thought about this but I have like the worst way to die and I truly think like either drowning or smothering would be the worst way for life yeah like fighting for your life well well now that I'm so mentally

disturbed at this point we're gonna end it on that note for this week sorry for the late release we will be back with lots of fun episodes from this weekend and we hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see ya