Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 128: Halloween Costumes, Haunted Houses, and Ghosts From Our Past

Episode Date: October 29, 2020

On this week's spooky episode of Coffee Convos, Kail and Lindsie get into the Halloween spirit with some costumes and chilling topics. They talk about their kids previous halloween costumes, and how the kids let their interests drive their decision. What age do you think the cut off is for trick-or-treating? Lindsie and Kail want to know what you think! Plus what are Kail and Lindsie's thoughts on haunted houses, and how are they different from haunted tours? Finally Kail get's deep, and tells Lindsie some stories from her past. She talks about her final years in high school, her relationship with her mom, and growing as a young mother and figuring out what she wanted in life.  This episode was sponsored by: FightCamp, Bartleby Write, Hello Bello, and Tru Earth. Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey everyone, welcome to a Halloween episode of Coffee Convos podcast. It's Halloween week. Yeah. Happy almost Halloween. Two days. Three days away? Yeah. 29th, 30th, 31st.

Yep. Yep. So before we get into like a bunch of Halloween stuff, what was your overall take of Philadelphia? My overall take was, I felt like everybody was just nice other than the hotel that I stayed at. The hotel was not great. It wasn't great. It wasn't great.

They didn't have garment bags to put like dirty clothes in. They didn't have soft drinks, like no cokes to be found, but they had a whole like a whole bar like lined up of stuff. They didn't have valet, room service, Belman, any of that. Any of it. Any of it. Any, as I guess bougie as that sounds, I feel like it defeats the whole purpose of like the hotel.

Well, yeah. It's like I'm not walking down the street with. You would have stayed in an Airbnb if you wanted to do all of these things. Right. Yes. Okay. That's fair. I definitely think that's fair.

And I thought the hotel staff was like very rude, but everybody else that I came in contact with was super nice and I love the people. Yeah. It's definitely a different, it's very city like Atlanta, but a different kind of city. Oh, it's for sure a different kind of city than Atlanta for sure. Yeah. Have you ever seen anything like Kensington Beach? No, other than just you showing me the Instagram and honestly I sat going down a rabbit hole

like on the Instagram and kept watching and I honestly thought it wasn't real. No, it's real. It's like the heroin capital of the world or something. And I just didn't understand like how do people get all of that footage? I don't know. If people like. Instagram, I'm not sure that I don't know, but that's, I mean, and I'm pretty sure if I heard this correctly, Kensington Beach used to be like a really good place.

Really? Is what I'm hearing. Yeah. So like, I don't understand in a place like that, just based off of the Instagram again, never been. Is there not like police to these people not get arrested? Is it not illegal? Like.

I don't know. I just feel like it's more of like a, it's almost like a health hazard than it is like crime. I mean, and we know it's crime. We know that, but like it should be more of a health concern than anything in my eyes. And then you were telling me something about like the supply of clean needles, which it's like a double-edged sword, right? Right.

Yeah. I definitely think. I don't remember what they're called, but basically they can go trade their dirty needles in for clean needles so that it prevents the spread of like hepatitis, HIV and other diseases. And you know, I just, it's one of those things where obviously you want to prevent those things because people are going to continue to do these drugs, but like it is a double-edged sword. Like, what is it?

I guess because you're supplying them clean needles, which some people would look at as form of encouragement to do it, but then you've got to look at the other side of it. Like it's, if you're going to do it, then do it safely to try to prevent like you said, spread of diseases. So have you ever been to Kensington Beach? I've been around it, but I've never like been in the trenches. Like I've never, you've never like seen, no, it's, you haven't seen anything that's like been on the Instagram.

No, I've never, no. And I think that would be, it's like one of those things where it's like, I want to help them and I wouldn't even know where to start. And it's like, how can you help them? And you don't know if they actually want to help themselves because it has to be one of those things where like these addicts want to have help themselves, you know? Well, and I'm just like looking at the, the videos and then I finally clicked off after I saw him and like his pants were completely down and he was like humping a car.

Yeah. And you'll see like people injecting each other in the neck and in other body parts. And it's just, it's honestly, it's a, it's crazy. And I just don't understand. And again, maybe it's just a shelter life that I've lived, but I just don't understand how like you go that way, like how that happens in your life, you know? Obviously you talked about like mental illness and we should have somewhat like a recovering addict on the podcast to talk about it.

So I feel like that would be like a good perspective on like what that looks like. I have heard that, um, heroin is highly addictive though. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Like once you try it, like meth, like, don't they say that like once you try meth one time that you're addicted? That's what I've heard.

I don't know anything about it. Yeah. I mean, obviously I'm not like a guru or anything, but I'm just saying like that's what I've heard. Yeah. So I don't know, you know, what truth there is to that, but it's just very sad to see people so lost in those videos and then like, what's the Instagram being ran for? Like is it?

I think their overall goal and I'm not, I don't know who runs it, but I, my, my first thought was like awareness, but then it is also humiliating to those people because obviously they're not proud to be where they're at. Right. And that was my thing. Whenever I was watching it, I was like, wow, these people are truly like being exposed. When they're already down. Like don't kick me when I'm down kind of thing.

That's a good way to look at it. Yeah. I definitely agree with that. I kind of want to like know who runs Instagram and like maybe like message them and be like, what's the purpose of this Instagram? Is it? Maybe is there like a better way to go about doing this? Yeah.

Yeah. And then I saw one pregnant girl. Yeah. I saw two. And that literally broke my heart. Yeah. Because the, her life would have to be like so sideways, but to do that to an innocent child and then for them to have to walk into the world with so many already like obstacles

to overcome is just so sad and I couldn't imagine like putting a fetus like in that. Yeah. For sure. But anyway, don't want to be like so morbid on Halloween. Well, we can get into some Halloween topics. So I was thinking, well, number one, we're sitting here in costumes and haven't even acknowledged that. So I feel like the listeners should know that we are in the alien from Toy Story costumes.

We're in onesies. Are these pajamas or are these like costumes? I mean, probably pajamas, but like we're wearing them as costumes. Right. Like colored hair. Colored hair. Yeah. Got in green hair.

Our green hair. Am I colorblind? I said yeah. I think so. And then I've got in all different colors of hair. You guys will see it on the Instagram. It's funny because you said Jackson loves Toy Story. He loves Toy Story.

Isaac and Lincoln. I actually don't think Lincoln was ever into Toy Story the same way Isaac was, but Isaac went through a phase where he was absolutely obsessed with Toy Story. Everything. Everything was. Like every single toy that there was, like whether it be like an action figure or stuffed animal or whatever, he had every single one. And if he lost one, either Javier or his brother would go get him in replacement immediately.

Yeah. Like they like fed the obsession. It was insane. But I hope Creed or Lux gets into Toy Story because I love Toy Story. Do you still have Isaac's toys or did you get rid of them? We may have a couple floating around, but not like the whole not like the whole kitten caboodle like Isaac had, so, but I love Toy Story. It's funny that you say that about feeding obsessions because I just wonder how many

people that listen to this feed into their kids obsessions and how quickly our kids get over stuff. And then you've like gone and bought all the toys. Yep. So I did a room for Isaac and Toy Story theme, and that was the first and last time I would ever do a themed room in that way because I felt like I spent so much money on this theme that he was so obsessed with. And then he grew out of it so quickly.

So I now I'm like, well, we'll just do neutrals and like, you can pick a color or two, but we're not doing a theme like cartoon type situation because it was such a waste. So I have a solution to that. Okay, I'm listening. I told Jackson because he also wanted like Toy Story stuff for a long period of time. So Pottery Barn came out with a Toy Story collection when the new movie came out. Just like the sheets and stuff. Yeah.

Well, like all the bedding. Yeah, the bedding. And they had like accessories too. So I told him, I said, you can get the sheets and then we have like a neutral color like duvet or whatever. Yeah. It goes on the top. Okay.

I can like go with, it's so neutral that it can go with any sheet set. Okay. See, that is something that I'm like into because I feel like you can change them up quick. It's not like hundreds of dollars to like change their room out. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But literally when I tell you we have bins for everything that Jackson's ever gotten into.

Like right now, well, he wasn't a Benton like a while ago. What is Benton? You keep talking about Benton. You keep talking about Benton. Like you have to watch it. I'm going to Google it. Like it's, his name's Bentonison and he is absolutely obsessed. There's so many different Benton toys.

Jackson went through a phase where he was into Incredibles, into Toy Story. Oh, okay. So he's kind of like a superhero sort of deal. Kind of. Yeah, but like a boy. Okay. Okay. That's cool.

Oh, on Cartoon Network. Okay. Cool. Yeah. So we have individual bins. Oh, wow. You're like that type of organized. Yes.

Okay. And then when he acts like he gets out of something, then we put it up, but then he got the Benton stuff back out. Okay. So we don't let him, like once he's kind of like over it, then we just put it up and then sometimes he'll like fall back into it. Right. And then sometimes he won't.

And then we just won't get it back out. So now every year for Halloween, is he a character from whatever he's obsessed with? Typically, yes. Okay. So that like fits into our Halloween theme. Like we did Minions one year. Okay. So we can link in more Minions one year.

He was obsessed with Minions and he would walk around banana like all the time. And then he had the little fart gun for Minions and he would walk around and it was like like the fart noise, you know, like however it sounded, but yeah, a little fart gun. I'm trying to think what else he's been Batman one year. His first year. Oh, and I want to know about this too. Like first year Halloween, do you dress your kids something cutesy? Like Jackson was a teddy bear from Pottery Barn and he was a couple months shy of one

year old. I have to be honest with you. I don't remember any of my kids first Halloween. You don't. Isaac might have been like a donkey or something or a horse the first year. It was like something that I kind of get into it. I like don't get into it and I like don't care about sugar treating or Halloween at all.

Like it's just like not. And a roller, not my thing. Do you put a lot of effort into a costume? Do you buy one? Do you make one? Like what does that look like? And do you have multiple costumes? So like if he has a costume for like a Halloween party at school, does he then wear that sugar

treating? No. So he has a different one. Yes. So you like go all out for Halloween? Yes, but it's not really because I I've talked about this on the podcast before that I'm not into celebrating Halloween. I'm into celebrating kids getting candy and like having a good time, right?

But I'm not into the celebration of Halloween. I enjoy the kids being able to dress up to have a good time with their friends to be able to get candy and to call it a day, right? But as far as the celebration of Halloween, no, I don't I don't like Halloween and I don't really support it, but I will go all out for the costumes. Okay. And I like decorate your house for Halloween. Absolutely.

I have like a million pumpkins everywhere all over my house, like plush pumpkin. But is that like Halloween or is that like fall like fall? Yeah, but I do have specific things like my whole mantle is like lined with different like Frankenstein and like a cute little Frankenstein, a pumpkin, all these different things and it's got like lanterns in them. It's like cute. It's cute. And then I have specifically like Halloween pumpkins and I have like more like fall transitional

pieces and it's literally all over my house. You're making my head spin. And you don't put anything on it, right? I literally don't decorate for anything. It drives me insane. I don't have the patience for it. I remember like the few years that I did celebrate Christmas. I literally as soon as my kids went to their dads, I took the tree down.

I didn't even I don't even I don't even know that I waited until the next day. I might have waited until the next day, but it's like, okay, this is over with. We're done. I take my tree down the day after Thanksgiving, but there's more. You take it down the day after Thanksgiving. Oh, no, no, no. I put my tree up. I was like the day after Thanksgiving.

I take my tree down the day after Christmas. Yeah. And the reason being is because I put it up decently early like on black. Is it black Friday? Yep. It's the day after. Yep. Okay.

I put it up. I feel like that's pretty early. I feel like that's normal. I think that's pretty normal. That's when I would do it. I don't like my holidays overlapping. So I like, I hate how the stores always are putting out like Halloween in July or like Christmas in July.

Yeah. That's what like, or they put like bathing suits out in the middle of winter and you're like, uh, my body's not ready. Exactly. It's so strange to me, but I like to compartmentalize my holiday. So if I'm celebrating Thanksgiving, I don't want to look at Christmas tree. Right. So then I put it up the day after Thanksgiving and then I take it down the day after Christmas

because Jackson's birthday is four days after Christmas. Right. And you don't want the Christmas feel for his birthday. Birthday. Yeah. I like it to feel completely separate. And so I've done that every year since he's been born and it just works for us. But with saying that the whole Halloween thing, I've got so many questions about it because

okay, the first year I was like, does dad stay home and like I take him trick or treating and then dad hands out candy or like, do we both go? So we just left a little container out for kids like get candy and I just want to know how many people do that or how many people have husbands that stay at home and drink beer and hand out candy and like the moms go and trick or treat or if it's vice versa and have you ever watched somebody dump their, your entire basket of candy into their bag from like your ring? I did take the kids trick or treating last year, I think it was, was it last year?

The year before. I guess it would have been the year before, two years ago. We only took like one or two pieces. We were not greedy, but I didn't, I've never seen anyone dump the whole bag. I've definitely seen it. I've definitely seen it. Really? Yeah.

And it's people who let their kids go and trick or treat without like adult supervision. I would never. I don't think I could do that. I don't either. I'm not judging anyone that does, but for me, like I wouldn't trust, no, I'm not okay with that. I feel like Halloween might be one of the most like dangerous holidays or like there would be, it's like a kidnappers, I literally, playground.

What is the next day is like mischief night or something? Is that what it's called? Mischief night? I don't know, but people hate me and you know that the trolls like literally hate me. I'm not going to lie to you for the past five years. I've actually hated Halloween and mischief night because it, it really scares me. I really feel like people want to come after me. Like I feel like people are going to do things to my house, to my car, to my things like

it scares me. Hmm. Well, I mean, I could understand why you would feel that way, but also if anybody ever did do that, you have so many cameras, well, yeah, I mean, I know that, but they don't know that. Right. Well, if they listened to coffee combos since they're trolls and they listened to everything that you do now, they know.

Yeah. It's actually, I get terrible. It's like weird, eerie feeling, but also Mike Myers used to go kill people on Halloween. Right. Isn't that right? On Halloween movie. That was like his thing. He like went and killed people on Halloween and I don't know if that happened in real

life, but that also it like is in my head. So it's scary to me. No. Halloween in general is scary. I don't like watching Halloween movies really like the Halloween movies or like Halloween movies. No, like Halloween movies. Like Halloween town.

Yeah. The Disney one. Hocus Pocus. I'll watch Hocus Pocus. I love Hocus Pocus. Yeah. I feel like that's like a classic. It's a classic for sure.

Which would you be? I don't know. I'd be the redhead because she's a boss and that's what I resonate with the most, you know. But yeah, I'm not a decorator, not super into holidays. Like Halloween is one of the ones where it's like hit or miss. Like I will sometimes take the kids if like they want to go and I have them. But like if Halloween falls on the dad's weeks or like it's theirs, I don't even argue anymore.

Right. It's just not worth it. No. I'd rather do like my vacation or have something else that I would want them for. Yeah. It's just not my thing. So like would you ever have your kids all decide on like a theme and go as like a family? If they wanted to do that, I would.

Like if they were like, can we all do like Ninja Turtles or like I could be April and is their name April and Ninja Turtles April and then my kids could be like the ninja. I have four boys. So like, I wonder what their personal, okay. So Isaac would definitely be Donnie because he's like the smart, super genius. Lincoln would be Michelangelo because he's so funny. And then the other ones are Raphael. He's mean.

So that's definitely Lux. And then what's the other one? Donatello. Donatello. No, that's Isaac. Mikey. Mikey. Leonardo.

Leonardo would be Creed because he doesn't have a choice. He's the last one. He's the last one. Just to be able to do April and the Ninja Turtles. I might take them next year. Oh, for sure. Like I am totally into the like family themed Halloween costumes. And then Creed will be walking.

So he's not, I'm not going to give them a choice. It's like, these are your characters and that's it. And you're wearing shells and you're going to get the fuck over it. Oh my God. So all podcast listeners, what you tell your kids about your basement? What do I tell them? The sewer. Oh, the sewer.

Yeah. The basement is the sewer and you're going to go the fuck down there and be quiet. I'm just kidding. I think it's the turtle. No, but when I have stuff to do, like I tell them to go play in the basement and then sewer. Just go down to the sewer. Just like your little Ninja Turtles. I love it.

That would be a really cute theme for you. That would be cute. Yeah. That would be really cute. And honestly, their personalities are, I don't know. I don't remember what Leonardo's personality is. I wonder what. Does anyone know?

He's a leader. Oh, Creed, better be a leader then. Hopefully. Because we need like one of every. One of everything. Yeah. Lux is definitely Raphael though. Because he's mean.

Mean. Mean kid. Okay. So I have a question. Okay. Would you ever like take your kids to a haunted house where they do like the crazy chainsaws and then like all of that stuff? I wouldn't ever take Jackson to somewhere like that either.

My friend's mom. You literally have to sign waivers. In the fourth grade took me to like a regular haunted house, like just like a scary haunted house. Yeah. And we didn't even make it two feet in the door. Oh, wow. And we were in fourth grade and we both cried and we wanted to leave and we didn't want

to go back. So I wouldn't do that to my kids. But you like going to haunted houses or like. I feel like haunted houses are like masks, literally no pun intended for like, like murderers. Like that's like the perfect place and people are screaming. If they're screaming and stuff, you wouldn't even know. There used to be like this one place and I can't remember what it was called in Atlanta, but I remember my brother and I going and I wouldn't get out of the car.

I just stayed in the car and they took him in and it was like room by room. No, I don't like that. You went through one room and then once you made it through, then you like got to advance to the next room. And I'm pretty sure he went like all the way through it and was perfectly fine. So I went to the Pennhurst asylum last Halloween. We talked about it. Yeah.

And like honestly wasn't scary. I think just the place itself was just eerie and I would go like on a regular day to like tour it and like just like figure that out. I feel like as an adult haunted houses are just like dumb. Yeah. But like a cover up for like real people that do weird stuff and like fetish weird stuff. What was I going to say? You were going to tell me something you were telling me before this that you were going

to like go to like a prison or something. There's a penitentiary in Philly. Yeah. And you said you were going to go to it. Yeah. I think I would do it. I wouldn't bring my kids to it. But like what do you do at it?

You tour it and it's supposed to be like haunted because they executed people there. So it's like a different kind of like it's not like fake scary. It's like real scary. I know. But like you're going through it and it's just like you feel a presence of a ghost. That's what they say. That's that's honestly how I felt when I went to the Pennhurst Asylum because like people died there because they were mistreated.

So like it was sad. So like you felt the presence of people. I don't know. I don't know if it was like presence of people but it was like an eerie feeling like I'm where people suffered. Like this is weird. This is like uncomfortable. You know what I mean?

Like I just feel like that whole situation is just like eerie. Yeah. So I feel like the prison would be the same thing. I don't know. Like I don't really feel like I would be scared going through unless something's like jumping out at me or something like that. Did you celebrate Halloween growing up? Absolutely.

Yes. So you dressed up every year? Yes. I went trick-or-treating and it was a big to do like every year. I went one time. I was Elwood's one time. When I was a kid and my mom said that she took me the one time and I ate candy and I threw up everywhere.

So my mom never took me again. And I was Big Bird. Is Big Bird a girl or a boy? Is Big Bird a girl or a boy? I'm not sure. One saying girl. One saying guy. I'm going to Google it.

Hey Siri. Is Big Bird a boy or a girl? I'm pretty sure it's a boy. It's a male. Wow. My mom really put me in a male. But like how old were you? I was probably, I like vaguely remember it.

I might have been like four or five. Oh wow. You were little. Yeah. That's the only time you went trick-or-treating or what? Yeah. Oh wow. It was like a big to do.

We would go out for hours and trick-or-treat from like neighborhood to neighborhood. Like I might have gone like with friends or something like later in years, but my mom never took me again. Really? No. I remember wanting to go in ninth grade trick-or-treating with friends and my parents told me no. You were too old. Well, yeah.

I think it was like a combination of that, but also the fact like you're not going out on Halloween night in ninth grade, nothing that's probably going to come of it. Yeah. I could agree with that. So. Like what's the cut-off age for trick-or-treating or like Halloween things? I feel like high schoolers these days have like Halloween parties and it's probably like. Well, Halloween party is different than like them going out and trick-or-treating.

Like I feel like that would be weird. I know, I know, but I'm saying like they're probably drinking at the parties and whatever, you know? I didn't drink until I was 21. So I don't know. You didn't? No. Ever?

Never. Oh, wow. Good for you. Like I just didn't. I'm proud of you. Yeah. I even have like I drink twice a year. Like now.

I feel like I don't even drink that. I feel like. That's amazing. Yesterday was the first time I drank in like at least a year and a half, two years. Well, you're pregnant for half of that. Yeah. But even at like parties and stuff, which I didn't really ever find myself at parties in high school.

Like I didn't drink or anything. You didn't go to parties or anything? No. You just would like hang out. And like, yeah. What? Nothing. What would you be doing?

I would smoke weed with my friends. Got it. Like at their house or like in their garage. But it like wasn't a party. No. Just a hangout. Yeah. Why didn't hang out with anybody?

Oh good. Okay. My parents don't let me do anything. Oh. I came home. Oh. Yeah. And the one time that I was going to, I was allowed to go to a football game in high school

by myself. I lied to my dad and told him that like I wasn't driving my friend or something. And I guess some narc like at the football game, like some parent like told my dad that I was driving my friend. And then he basically like told me I had to go home and I had to give him my car back. Oh. And then that was the end of me ever doing anything. Yeah.

So I didn't have a car in high school. I drove Joe's car my senior year to get back. That is so crazy to me that you had like that type of relationship in high school. What do you mean? Just like a relationship where you would be driving like a guy's car. Well, so Joe graduated the year before me. So, and he went to a different high school. So when we got pregnant, my junior year, it was, I got pregnant my June, May of my junior

year. So when I went into my senior year pregnant, he had already graduated and lived. He was at a different school anyway. And he had graduated. So I was pregnant. He started working nights at Taco Bell. And so he was, he would come. Oh yeah.

And so he would come home at four in the morning with the car. And then I would take the car at 730 to go to school. Wow. And then by time I got home from school, then he could take the car, do what he had to do because it was his car. It wasn't my car. Did you live with Joe? Yeah.

My mom signed over custody of me probably. I got pregnant May of my junior year. And I graduated January of my senior year. I graduated before everybody because I had enough credits. I moved in with him probably that, I want to say like around August. So like right when the school year started, my mom signed off custody. She was like, I'm done here. Yeah.

So I didn't, I mean, I pretty much lived at the apartment that my mom had by myself. Like my mom was never home. I don't even know how the bills got paid. Like I don't know. Oh wow. Yeah. Like it was, I lived by myself. Like it was weird.

I can't even imagine. Like when we have conversations about our kids, that even being like a reality or like a thing, you know, like not knowing where our kids are like. Oh no. Yeah. That was always like, I don't know that my mom ever knew where I was. Yeah. I don't think she ever really knew.

It's definitely a weird thing to think about, especially as a mom now and like having my kids. I'm like getting my makeup done and crying because I miss Lincoln's first tackle game. You know what I mean? Like I just can't imagine like being in the headspace that my mom was in, but I don't know. Like I don't. Yeah.

It's just, I feel like being so young that you've lived so much life. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like even though you're, what you're two years younger than me. I'm 28. Yeah. So I'm 31. I was like three years.

Well, yeah. Three years. Two, three years. So I just feel like you've lived so much life and had so many different experiences of things that I just can't relate to because I, not that I can't sympathize. Right. I'm saying like I can't relate because I didn't live that life. Right, right, right.

And so I don't even know when you say that stuff to me, I'm like, wow, like that really happens. Yeah. Like it's, I guess it's just like maybe ignorance or like completely naive. No, I think it's just like you, how can you like fathom something like that when you've never experienced anything like it and people that you were around and experienced things like that. Right.

So I don't think it's naive or, or ignorant. I think it's just, you just can't relate because you've never been around it. Right. And so my next boyfriend was in 11th grade and it was a completely controlled situation. So I worked in my dad's office in the summer and it was my dad's intern for the summer. Oh. And so obviously like completely controlled. If we went to lunch, my dad went with us like.

What? Tabbed on us like at all times. If we went to the lake, my parents had a lake house. He would come to lake with us, but he slept in a completely different room. I slept in a completely different room. There was like no sneaking like into his room and sneaking into my room. I knew the boundaries. Wasn't a thing.

He went to the beach with us. Same thing. He slept downstairs. I slept upstairs. Well, that's like, I, that's ideal. Like what you're saying is like ideal and like what I would want to do for my kids. Right. You know, like that's the type of thing.

You just weren't afforded that. No. Not at all. And then to say like, how did that even go down with your mom? To say, okay, I'm going to sign rights over. Well, so my mom. I don't think you and I have ever talked about that. So I was, I got pregnant at prom, prom night, Joe's prom.

And I found out like literally when I tell you, and I'm pretty sure I've said this before at some point somewhere. I woke up one morning. Nobody was home in my mom's apartment. We lived in a two bedroom apartment and I sat straight up and I was like, I'm pregnant. Like I felt it in my body when I woke up. Yeah. So I took the test and I hit it for as long as I could.

And my mom. And like, how long was that? Um, I got pregnant May, June, July, August. So three months, four months. Oh wow. So you didn't tell her? No, I actually, to this day, I kind of am a little resentful because Joe's mom told my mom I was pregnant.

Oh. I didn't want to tell her because as you guys know that my mom's like an addict and an alcoholic. So I wanted to tell her on my terms when I was comfortable when she was sober. Yeah. And Joe's mom actually told her while my mom was intoxicated. And so that even further pissed me off and I wasn't home. So when I came home.

Oh wow. Yeah. And so she had asked me because she was taking me to school one day and I was like, I need you to pull over so I could throw up. And she's like, are you pregnant? And I was like, no. I was just like, I just don't feel good. Had Joe's mom already told her at that point?

No. No. But yeah. That's so sad. And that probably was so lonely. Yeah. I think like the whole situation was lonely because I just kind of felt like a little bit lost. Like Joe and I hadn't been together for a year.

It was like we had broken up a hundred times before I even got pregnant. You know what I mean? Like it was just like a mess. Yeah. But yeah. So. Wait, how did you and Joe even? We met at McDonald's.

McDonald's. What were you all doing at McDonald's? I don't know. Tell the truth. This is my life. What were you all doing at McDonald's? Working. Oh, you worked at McDonald's and he did?

Yeah. Oh, and that's how you all met? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Employees at McDonald's. Yeah. I don't like to talk about it. And his parents met at McDonald's.

Shut up. Yeah. Are you kidding? No. Did they work at McDonald's too? Yeah. While you all worked at McDonald's? No, no, no, no, no.

Okay. I was going to say that would have been like next level. Yeah. No. Wow. Yeah. That's like not, I can't even believe I said that out loud. Like the truth, right?

Yeah. So then you guys just started dating? Like you just hit, hit it off and just started dating? Yeah. Well, so without saying too much, like I got my weed from him. Oh, wow. Yeah. So like that's how that happened.

Like that's how that developed. That's how that situation came about. Wow. So what was it like living with Joe's parents? Were they like welcoming you with open arms? Yeah. I think, I mean, I think Joe's mom was more apprehensive about it than, than his dad. His dad was more like, we're going to figure this out where like Janet was like nervous.

Right. Yeah. Like her guard was up. Yeah. I mean, and rightfully so. So then they actually started like finishing their basement because me and Joe were going to stay down there with the baby and like, obviously didn't know as a boy at the time. And like live down there.

So they like put a bathroom down there, two bedrooms. Like they did like the whole thing. And then it didn't, we didn't end up like staying down there. We stayed upstairs, but we lived there for a while. And I guess the rule was that as long as like Joe stayed in school that they were going to pay for it to like help him or whatever. But that ended up not being for him. Right.

So, and then Isaac was like five months old when I was like, I need to get a job. Like I need to like figure, like I need to do something for me because I've been in this house for five months with this baby and Joe's working full time in New Jersey, which was an, you know, two, three hour drive. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to go get a job. And that's when I realized Joe's not for me. There's other people out here.

And I'm too young to be like settled down into this like weird committed like thing. And I don't even know how to handle this, you know. Did you feel like you were trying to settle down because it was like a sense of obligation because you had gotten pregnant? Yes. Because I feel like a lot of people can probably relate to that. And it just like wasn't going to be good if I stayed in that situation. Right.

I was just too young to have put myself in that situation in the first place. So then I needed to like figure my way out. Like I was not okay with being home. And like having no, I didn't have any type of like independence. Yeah. I didn't have my own car at the time. Like it was just like a lot. I think it's a totally different situation, but I can just tell you whenever we brought

Jackson home, I did the stay at home mom thing. And so in some ways I can relate to that a little bit just because it is very lonely having a baby at home by yourself and like just being mom and not having any identity. I didn't have money of my own. Like I had to ask Joe for money and it was just like not, I didn't want that. I never had to ask Will for money, but it just like made me feel like. We were so young. He was selfish.

He really didn't want to share his money or his car or his, you know what I mean? Anything. No. But I just, it is so weird and I'm sure so many moms probably feel this way that moms who choose to be stay at home moms that don't have their own income. It's one of those things that I felt a sense of obligation. Yeah. To tell him like, okay, this is what I'm spending money on.

Right. Right. Not like I was asking, but like I just felt a sense of obligation that I needed to tell him for whatever reason. No, and I think that that works for adults in different situations, but I think us being so young, I had to ask him. And so that was like degrading, like I felt, not degrading, but I felt like I was. Like a child again.

Yeah. I didn't have any type of freedom, things of my own and I was a burden and I didn't, that's just like not me. Like it's never been me. So as soon as I realized I could get a job and like as soon as you come home, I'm going to go to work. I felt like that was better. Right.

So were you pregnant when you were in high school? Yeah. I got pregnant my junior year. And what did that feel like? Like, did you have any hardships like? I didn't fit in the desks because they, the desks were attached to the chair. Right. Yeah.

And I was the new girl because I had my mom, I got kicked out of my first high school in ninth grade. So I started at a new high school in 10th grade and I was a new girl was an all white school. There was no diversity whatsoever. Right. And so now I'm the new girl, now I'm the new girl that's pregnant. And my boyfriend didn't go to the school.

He graduated from a school in like a nearby town. So it was just like a mess. Would people like talk about you or? Yeah, I think people definitely questioned like, who, what is going on here? Yeah. But I mean, I did meet some like lifelong friends, not friends that I hang out with now, but people that I will still catch up with from time to time, like on social media or whatever, like message me and just check on me or I'll see how they're doing.

But yeah, it was just like a weird time for me. Yeah. I can imagine that would be just so stressful and then just trying to figure out like not really knowing what you were going to do with your life and then having a baby that depends on you and not having like a stable relationship situation. Yeah. Those are a lot of different things and then also not having a stable relationship with your mom.

Yeah. To be able to have like that family support. Right. I'm sure it was hard. Yeah, which I guess looking back now because I am a single mom and my mom was a single mom, it would have been nice to kind of have her support and like be there for each other and like, I don't know, I feel like it almost could have brought us together if she was sober. Right.

Because like she could relate to single being a single mom and like, I don't know, I feel like it could have been good, but. Did she ever help with Isaac? No. I mean, she watched him a couple times for me, but it's just, I couldn't trust her. Right. I guess it's not something that I would ever, no, it wasn't a thing. I mean, did she try to see him and say, yeah, she tried, but like, if I dropped my son off

to you and you're sober and then I pick you up and you're like, that's not a thing. Yeah. So, I mean, there are, I know one time where like Isaac like baked cookies with her and like he had such a good time and like they went in the sprinkler and she was just like a really good person when she's sober. So that kind of brings me back to the conversation about Kensington Beach is like, it sucks because you, when you know someone and you love someone so much and you know how they are when they're sober and they just can't stay that way, it's really heartbreaking.

I can't even imagine the feeling of trying to navigate knowing how good somebody can be. But then like how bad to, and I don't even know how you've been able to put that into proper perspective and how, I guess, like you said before, your kids probably don't have questions because they can't really question what they don't know. Yeah. They don't know what they're missing. I don't think they just don't think they have grandparents on my side, I think that's

like what it is. But like the years that you went, like not knowing if your mom was alive, I just couldn't even imagine like how. Next month, well, we're in October, so December will be a year since I've heard from her. The last time I heard from her was San Diego, that shoot that we did for Pothead and was that November, that was November. So I had heard from her a second time once I got home from San Diego in November. I heard from her one more time.

So next month will be one year since I've heard from her. And what was the second time? She called me from a closet. What was she doing in a closet? She was crying saying that she missed me and loved me and she wanted to get out of, evidently she's married. So she married this guy that she had been with since I got pregnant with Isaac and she wanted to leave him and be there for the kids and like have a real, like it was almost like

a cry for help. For help, yeah. And I said to her, I said, if you can call me from your job tomorrow sober, I'll be there. And she never did. She never called. Nope. So I haven't heard from her since. So you think she was like not sober when she called you?

No, I know she wasn't because like the voice that she has when she's not sober makes me cringe. Like I literally, it's like nails down a chocolate board. Yeah. That's horrible. Yeah. All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our newest partners, True Earth.

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That's www.tru.earth. If you have any questions, you can send a message to True Earth movement on Instagram. So she just ran off and like got married. I don't know when she got married. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if she got a prenup. I don't know. Like that scares me.

I don't know. I don't even know. Where does she even live? Like does she have a car? I think she said she lives in Virginia now is what she said. But I don't know. I don't know if I was understanding the whole conversation. And what are her ties to Virginia?

There's none. I just don't understand that. You're asking the wrong one. You know what I'm saying? No, I'm just trying to understand the situation. Any time I see, like I said before, I see my extended family maybe two or three times a year and I've asked them. Every time I see them, I'm like, have you heard from my mom?

And almost always the answer is no. So like nobody really knows. So when she called you, it was just like a cry for help. Yeah. It was like, I can't help you. I don't, she called me from a private number. Like I don't even have the number. So I can't like.

And why would she have blocked the number? Because her husband doesn't like me. That's, that's a problem right there. Yeah. The fact that he would have her so manipulated or that she would allow him to manipulate her so much that she would block her number to call her own daughter. Listen, people live weird lives. Like when you really sit here and think about how different people can be, you're like,

what the hell? Like, how do you live like that? Yeah, I know. I would never, like I think about how, do you ever see like a, well, you live it. Like a family dynamic where like people will not talk to certain siblings or like not talk to certain family. Like that's weird to me. I love all my kids so much.

I can't imagine not having a relationship with them. Even if we don't see eye to eye on something, we just don't have to talk about that because it's not my life. I'm not living your life. I just don't agree with it. So we don't have to talk about it. Right. But I want you in my life and I will make sure that, you know, if you're not getting along

with your brothers, great, I'll come see you. Do you know what I mean? Like if Isaac's not getting along with Lincoln and he's in college or something, I'll go visit him. He doesn't have to come home. Like whatever that looks like, I'm going to make it work. See, I can speak a lot on that because I feel like a lot of it has to do with erasing, right?

And a lot of times, I think it's very common in a lot of families that parents or a parent manipulates kids against others. Other people in general? Well, no, like siblings, like creates a rivalry within, you know. Right. Well, it's like playing favorites or just like treating them differently. Yeah. Yeah.

People, I get a lot of shit about that. I think that I treat my children differently, but it's just, all your kids are so different. They're so, yeah. So like I give attention to different, you know, ones based off the need. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't feel like you favor.

I used to think that you did. Who did you think I favored? Lincoln. Really? Yeah. Now if you ask Isaac, Isaac will say that Lincoln's the favorite. Yeah. I just think that it's probably easy for Isaac to say that because Isaac doesn't really

play sports, right? So and that's the thing. And it's like, oh, well, and then people will say that Lux is the favorite because Lux get the birthday parties. Well, they've all had birthday parties. We've had this conversation. But how many times do we have the conversation that basically winter kids? It's hard.

It's like highway robbery. Because, you know. How many times are you going to go to the same place and you've already done all the indoor birthday? You've done skies on 20 times. Yeah. No. You know.

No, it just goes based on their, like I also have Lux and Creed 99.9% of the time where Lincoln and Isaac is 50-50, so it's just different and Isaac's not into sports. So I'm going to dedicate my time with Lincoln mainly to the sports. And if Isaac's into something, I'll dedicate it there. But I'm sure he probably sees you going to Lincoln's games and stuff and like cheering him on. So maybe he feels like, oh, like she's. He also struggles with just like, he's older, so I expect more out of him.

And then Lincoln is like certain thing. Now he's at an age where he's starting to be, he can't get away with things that he used to get away with, because now he's older and I expect more out of him. But I do think there was like a period of time where like Isaac was like, why does Lincoln get away with it? But he was, he's almost four years younger. He was younger. Right.

Yeah. So it's different. No. Do your kids have rivalries within each other? Like do they fight or do they pretty much get along? Just Lincoln and Isaac fight. Why? But they're also as much as they fight their best friends.

But then Lincoln and Lux are, Lincoln will literally do anything and say anything that Lincoln does. Oh, Lux will, you mean? What did I say? He said Lincoln will. Lux is obsessed with Lincoln. Like it's honestly, part of me, it loves it so much, but part of me is afraid because Lincoln is such a smart ass.

And there's so much like sass there. I don't know if sass is the right word, but like, I don't think I can handle two of them. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you got both of them. So. Oh my God. And it's so crazy because I think the attitude, I told you this other day that the attitude

of Lincoln is you. And oh, if you guys hear any kind of crazy music going on, the windows are open. Yeah. Not sure what's going on, but. I think someone's having a party. A party. Yeah. I'm pretty sure.

We should have one. No. My party should be sleep. Okay. I feel like I don't sleep. Like. I heard that. Like I take naps, but like.

You don't sleep at night. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like wide awake. You said. Yeah. I know.

I get it. When I sleep at home, the, the, the hours in between creeds waking up. Yeah. I will sleep like a rock because I'm just so fucking tired. Do you get paranoid when, when Jackson was little, I literally would get so paranoid. Literally. If they sleep too long. Yeah.

Like three hours instead of two hours. And you're like, Oh my God. I see. Yeah. The worst because then you're like, just your adrenaline's pumping like literally can't. I literally can't. Does he sleep in a bed by himself?

I'm never going to make the same mistake. I'm not going to make the same mistake of him sleeping in the bed. Like I just can't. I went through it with Lincoln slept in my bed for over two years. Lux has slept in my, Lux is 12 weeks sober of my bed. 12 weeks. He is 12 weeks out of my bed and he doesn't even fight me. He doesn't cry.

Does he sleep in a private bed? No. He's in his own full size bed. Yeah. And does he do good in it? Yeah. He does great. He does so great.

He doesn't even complain. Does he try to like sneak into your bed? Nope. No. He doesn't even, he comes in and that's usually when Creed is waking up. So it's, it's really nice. And the only thing I will say is like, so the nursery is basically the sitting room to my master.

And I thought it was good to have him that close because it's still his own room and there's like a little walkway. Right. So it's like perfect. Like I can sleep. The one thing I will say is like, I hear every like, eh, like move. Yeah. And then I wake up.

Yeah. Because I'm like, oh my God. That's like the only thing, but I definitely want to keep Creed in his own crib for, like I want to keep him in his own place because I feel like long term, it'll be easier even though right now it's a, it's stressful. Are started with Jackson being on the boob. You know, it's so much easier. Yeah.

Of course. Yeah. Just to have him. That's how Lincoln was. And then that just lasted like six years. Yeah. You know, sounds about right. And it's like, oh, wow, you should probably get your own bed.

But they do say there are benefits to co-sleeping as much as the U S is like against it. Yeah. Other countries are for co-sleeping. I wonder what countries like all of them, all of Europe, like everywhere. I just feel like it's such a bonding like, I don't know. I remember Lincoln used to put his hand on my face to go to sleep and even at nap time and everything. That's what he did.

Yeah. Like that's, I told you that Jackson like literally when he would take a nap, if he felt me move, you, you were done. It was done. So I was like, I might as well just go ahead and sleep. Plan your day around that nap time. Yeah. For sure.

For sure. And I'm going to be in here for two or possibly three hours. Yeah. So I got very used to doing emails on my phone and taking a little, you know, siesta. And then, you know, getting back up and getting about my day, but it was like our schedule was so crazy because, and I don't know how I would have ever done it with two. I just don't even think it would have been. I guess you just adjust.

I don't know. Like. People ask me how I do it all the time. I just, I don't know. I just do it. Like, is it just like naturally it just happens or like you have to like try to make it happen. I think in the beginning, it's an adjustment. You have to try to make it happen and figure out what works for you and like if you can

nap or if you can't nap or, um, yeah, there's definitely an adjustment period, but then you just figure it out. And then once you have, I think the adjustment from one to two is definitely harder than two to three, um, three to four has been hard for me only because creed is so difficult. Yeah. If he was like Lux or like Lincoln, well, Lincoln was the nightmare also, um, or like Isaac, I feel like it would be an easy transition, but creed has to be held at like all times. Like he's just now right before leaving for Philly was finally sitting for like maybe

15 minutes by himself, like in a little like, yeah, not a bouncer, but like one of those things that they like, yeah, he would sit in there maybe for like 15 minutes. So I was like, wow, like this is such a relief and it's so crazy how much you appreciate. Yeah. Like that 15 minutes because, I mean, that's like a lifetime in newborn hood. Listen, I just remember one wheel would come home from work. I so enjoyed just being able to go and take a shower and have just like a few minutes to myself, even though it was like, I was doing a necessity, right?

Yeah. Taking a shower and washing myself. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I felt like that was a privilege. 100%. I'm definitely the first few weeks of creed's life would go like three, four days without showering because I just couldn't because you didn't have help.

So you said the transition from one to two was hard? Yeah. That was really hard for me. So I'm screwed. Um, I don't know because Jackson would be like seven or eight, so he would be more self-sufficient. Yeah. Like you said, if you needed to take a nap, like he can occupy himself.

Yeah. So I do feel like it would be very different where like Isaac was four. So I just like couldn't give him that type of like independence. Yeah. Um, but I remember like on Saturdays, Javi would let me sleep in because he was home from work and so he would take that first two hours. I wouldn't like, I would nurse at like five or something, whatever early morning. And then he would take him for the two hours until he had to nurse again.

And it was glorious. Yeah. So like that was nice. Because you knew he was taking care of. So you were like, yes, I can sleep in peace. Yes. I don't have to worry about it. So I just wonder for a second for me what that would look like mainly because I feel

like our schedule is so full already. Mm hmm. Like a lot of only like one child families have such full schedules because they like overbook their one child for everything. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So it's like he has something every day of the week. Right.

So then what does that look like? I feel like it, it's like Will and I splitting up to do task now, whereas. Divide and conquer. Yeah. That's what it would be. Like us going all together, you know. But you know what? I feel like that.

I don't know that I would feel as much guilt for missing Lincoln's game if I was with his dad because we could divide and conquer. I wouldn't feel so bad, but the fact that I'm a single mom is like, I, do you know what I mean? So it would be okay. We'll talk about the conversation we had this morning because Kale brought up a good point that we were both sitting in the kitchen and Kale was like, I'm missing Lincoln's football game.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm missing Jackson. The first baseball game that I've missed of Jackson's. And Kale was like, well, at least Will is there. Will is there. Javi wasn't there. Right. He was at work. So then that's a different scenario.

I don't want to see a part of it. But even still, it's not comforting knowing that he's like, yeah, just like they're with a grandparent. Yeah. And not that that's not okay. Obviously, you figure it out when you have multiple kids and people are working. There's plenty of parents who both of them work. Right.

Do you know what I mean? And then they have to, either the kid goes by themselves or goes with a friend or like whatever. But if I can make it work and be there, I want to be there. But it is very, very difficult with multiple children, especially when you're a single mom. So when we found out that the practices were almost three hours long for Lincoln, three days a week, it was one of these things where I'm like, okay, I need to either figure something

out for the babies to go with me and be warm and be occupied and be fed. Or I need to figure out where they could be with somebody else while I go to the practice because I don't want to miss out just because I have other kids. So that's the other thing is like dividing my time and being like, I don't just because I chose to, like I ended up having Creed and like adding him to the family. I didn't want it to be unfair to the other kids. And you struggled with that for a while. Yes.

Yes. That was something I was very afraid of. So you feel like your time is so divided with your kids because you can only be one person. So you can only give like, you know. And the younger ones are the most needy. Right. But I don't want to take away.

You've always got them in the friggin' stroller. Like just like strolling around and I'm like, how does she, I guess it's just, you just figure it out. I don't know. So for me, I didn't have to carry a baby like on me to the ball field, you know, just like because I just had, I just had him. So now that he basically can do everything for himself, I feel like I would be more comfortable strolling a baby because Jackson can kind of walk by himself or whatever.

But I couldn't imagine like having to hold one's hand, you know, walking and then one in the stroller and then knowing that my baby's still feeding every couple of hours. So then I've got to like bring a bottle. And you're trying to breastfeed and pump and do all the things. And it's just too hard. Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely a learning curve and an adjustment for sure.

All right, guys. Well, I think that's all we have time for. Today, you need to let us know your Halloween traditions. We're very curious to know what you guys do if your family's dressed up in ensemble costumes. Is that what it would be called? Like themed. Or if you guys, one goes as a serial killer on Stinkerbell, like, you know, who knows?

Or do you not go at all? Yeah. Or do you not go at all? Please let us know. And we hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.