Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 132: Parent Teacher Conferences, Taking An Hour, and Several Food Conversations

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

This week's episode of Coffee Convos is brought to you by a lot of food motivated topics. Lindsie and Kail discuss some of their Thanksgiving plans; Kail will be spending it with her friend who she hasn't been able to see in quite a while, and Lindsie is hoping to get as much prep done ahead of time as possible so she can enjoy the day with her family. Lindsie is hoping that Kail will be able to come back from her trip with some new recipes to tell her, and Kail recently had a funny incident happen involving buying the snack to her son's football team. The fall typically brings Parent Teacher Conference time for most parents, and Kail and Lindsie reminisce about their childhood thoughts on those. And when you are a busy mom in the go it can be easy to neglect doing things to make yourself feel good. Lindsie recently learned of a strategy she intends to try out, and it hoping to inspire other busy moms to do the same. This episode was sponsored by: SkyLight Frames, ELF Cosmetics, Hello Bello, & Canvas People Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Coffee Combo's podcast. Kale, are you in a good mood? I am. I'm in such a good mood for two reasons. One, I just got off the parent teacher conference zoom for Lincoln and I almost started crying because she said like even through the pandemic and like being out of school he is such a strong reader, he's well above where he needs to be for reading and she said that he's such a good kid and I was like oh my god, like I cried on the first day of school because

I was nervous about him like starting you know at a new place so he could do the Spanish program and the Spanish teacher came on for her half of it and she was laughing because she was like he was so serious like when she met him and like just had this like really serious look on his face but she said that he's so good, he's so engaged, he's so like involved in the classroom and I was like you guys have no idea how much that means to me like I cannot tell you the anxiety that I've been feeling lately and I think I really think it's because I have more kids now like okay there's a bigger chance that I could fuck up right like I could have you know not not raise these kids to be good so you know citizens

so I'm like panicking like okay there's more room for failure with the more kids I have right so I'm like what the fuck and you know like them just like saying how great Lincoln is as a kid and I and I don't think she was blowing smoke up my ass like I really don't because like some of the things that his English teacher was saying was just like you know his kid like he's really friendly in the classroom he's well above where he should be and he's such a good kid and I was like I could cry doesn't it make you feel so good yes but specifically on the reading part for me because Jackson is like a next grade reader from where he's at now so like probably where he should be in second grade so it just makes you feel

so good like wow reading to him all of those nights really paid off she did say that at this age to continue giving him books to read that will keep his interest otherwise you know sometimes they'll tend to fall behind a little bit so she was like you know he loves football he loves track things of that nature you want to get him books like that and then when he does what they call in his classroom like a brain break you know if he's reading a book about basketball on his little break he should go outside and play basketball to kind of keep that connection so I did love that tip because I guess I never really put two and two together and I said him to school with Legos for his brain break but he doesn't

like Legos he was like I just want my wrestlers like his little right so from like WWE or whatever and so like okay well you know I'll send him to school with like wrestling little toy wrestlers if that's allowed so I don't know it just it was just really nice and then for the second reason obviously I'm super excited because tomorrow I leave for Texas and I haven't seen you know my best friend in a year and the kids haven't seen her in three years because you know we just our parents and whatever and life gets the best of us so I'm really excited to spend Thanksgiving with her. That's so exciting back to the conference part really quick though I don't know if you remember

this but like whenever we were growing up I was so scared like even I can remember my parents having conferences like they would tell us you know like we have parent teacher conference and like they go to the school and they have this meeting and for whatever reason like I always shit my pants that they were going and it wasn't like I was doing anything wrong or anything I don't know just like super anxiety Alan but I feel like kids these days or maybe it's just because we might have good kids Jackson could care like does not care at all. Yeah yeah I noticed that too like I remember crapping my pants like what is this teacher

gonna say and actually I only remember in my entire life of like school my mom like you know how sometimes if a parent went to parent teacher conference they would have to we would have to sit outside the classroom like did you ever have to do that where they could go talk because sometimes people didn't have childcare or whatever that looked like did you ever have that. Yeah the whole time when you're shitting yourself. Yeah okay so I only remember my mom ever going to one parent teacher conference my whole existence.

What? I remember like yeah because I don't even know if my mom ever went like my mom never like trepped up with this shit right like I think from the first grade I remember when I was bringing homework home and not doing it because my mom didn't make me or check my backpack but like this was in I want to say either middle school like eighth grade or maybe it was my freshman year I don't really remember it was like either middle school or high school my mom went and it was just like I remember it being so awkward for me because I was like my mom has never if I'm doing bad my mom has never even attempted

to like get me to a good place or like helped me or like any of that and so I was I was like embarrassed. So you felt like it was like a scam that she was there. Yes I felt like it was such a scam because I felt like it was like super fake and she didn't actually care about my school but then she would punish me even though it you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It was bad she would punish me but she's not there helping me does that make sense?

Yeah so I have never really understood like obviously not in my friend group because I feel like you become friends with people that once you become a parent or like maybe parent more similar to you so I don't know sometimes I've just heard stories of parents like getting all over their kids but they're like never involved in the school or never hands on and I understand like not being able to be freaking room mom because you're you know obviously working a job to provide for your family like I totally get that but it's like okay if you're making a choice not to help with school work or you're not engaged in any way I just feel bad for the kids I'm like you don't really have the right to jump all over them.

I agree that's how I feel too. You know but I have to tell you the story about growing up because it's something I think about so often and I feel like I was just very scared about this and every Monday I think about it because Jackson has to return his library books on Monday and I'll never forget doing I don't know anybody who's listening to the podcast that's close to our age might remember this and school might have been like the same for you but we always got our homework like at the beginning of the week and it was like you got your spelling words and you got all these activities to go with your spelling words so it's like you have to write your

spelling words five times each and then you have to make a sentence with your spelling words and then you have like a word search and like all of that so I remember I was at my dad's house and I was doing my homework on the porch and I guess I left my library book out there and it must have rained overnight and it got mildewed and it was a Judy Bloom book and when it got shit yeah I was shitting my pants because like I didn't want to tell them that I was irresponsible and I left it outside and it got rained and I tried to like dry it up as much as possible and back then I don't know if they do this now but when you turn in your library books they check to like see if the pages were ripped or anything

yes I remember that man I was shitting myself because it was like mildew on it and I was like I'm gonna have to pay for this book my parents are gonna be so mad and I didn't get caught but I was so scared like so scared and it also was during the time of the book fair so I was so scared that I was like not gonna get to get books at the book fair because I was gonna have to spend my money on repaying the library for the Judy Bloom book that I fucked up I fucked up damn library books I'm just like but in Jackson I just remember like having anxiety about that as a kid like returning my library books and stuff and Jackson doesn't even think twice about it just like maybe just because I do it every time like

I just know that his library days are Monday so I just put it in his backpack on Sunday nights but I just don't remember my parents doing that I don't remember ever bringing a library book home besides what do you mean I mean the only time that I remember bringing home like a library book was in fifth grade I think it was so bad I wanted a dog because I didn't have siblings and I used to check out books about dogs only so that I was like knowledgeable and like knew how to take care of a puppy and my thought was if I do enough research then I will they'll get me a puppy and then they never did so and the time that I've known you which I feel like has been a while a lifetime like a lifetime that's

probably the cutest thing I've ever heard you say honestly I literally when I got bear bear was my first dog I ever had in my whole life and I knew I was gonna get a rottweiler since I was in fifth grade like I knew well it was between a rottweiler and a doberman like I knew that was gonna be my first dog I was obsessed and so when I turned 18 and I had my own place that was the first thing that I did I'm so proud of you I'm so proud of you and I'm so he's there actually happy for you that you got something that was like your own you know yeah for sure like that was that's my library story well I love that about you I just I really do

can I tell you something I read actually it was yesterday I was gonna try to act like it was like a long time ago like it's like this profound thing that I've been doing for quite some time but normally in the mornings I don't know what your morning routine looks like for like your personal self okay exactly so in the morning normally I just do good to get up wash my face put a little skincare on and some aqua for my lips and make my little vitamin drink that I drink and do my supplements and then like that's good and I'm normally like in Nike shorts and a t-shirt unless I have something very specific that I need to be ready for so that's typically like my daily whatever so I read something last night

that was like talking about how as moms that you should take one hour of your day whether it be to like put yourself together or something to do like solely just for you and I feel like that is so important I feel like we just like get so wrapped up in the rat race of life that you just kind of like fall to the wayside I guess is the proper word like you just don't really think of yourself and you're thinking of all the other things that you have to do and it's just like self-care just is not really I mean that sounds good but I think in reality for a lot of people I just don't know that an hour is realistic unless we're waking up an hour before we have to get up to just spend time by ourselves or like if

there's like a partner because I know for me like yesterday was literally running out it was Sunday I left my house at 11 and that was like after getting my kids ready and stuff I left my house at 11 and didn't get home till 9pm and it was Sunday and it was work you know what I mean right well I left one set went right to another set and then it was just work so I don't I didn't have time by time I got home I was like I ate two bites of food and I went to bed and then same for today's like I literally have no time and as soon as I leave here I have to do a bunch of other shit before I leave for Texas tomorrow so it sounds good and like when you think of it an hour doesn't seem like a very long

time but in the grand scheme of things like I don't have an hour it goes by so quick and I don't even have it well okay here's the next thing that I was gonna say I do understand that too but the next thing is do you feel better when you put yourself together or do you just not care I'm not saying like specific like I'm asking kind of everybody yeah no I will say that I did do my makeup today and even though I didn't do my hair makeup is just like one thing that I just never really do unless I have to and I do feel better when I do my hair and makeup and I wish I could I wish I could say that I honestly don't give a fuck but most of the time I say I don't give a fuck and I actually do I just unless

I got up an hour and a half earlier than I needed to I would never be able to do my hair and makeup like it's just not it's not realistic for me and I know some people are like oh just suck it up and do it like you know we do it whatever but like for my life it doesn't really fit in but today I was able to do my makeup I couldn't do my hair and I do feel better than normal I'm just honestly tired of walking around looking like a troll so I'm just like you know I'm gonna try this for a week and I can report back and let you guys know you know how successful I have been with this one hour journey I don't know that I'm gonna be able to do an hour every day because like you said that's like maybe excessive however I'm gonna make an attempt

to do it and this week might not be a fair week because then I also like don't have obligations like to take Jackson to school and to pick him up from school and like all of that and like tutor and you know just like stuff that you have to do but I don't know I just feel so much better when I put myself together and I'm actually trying to do my eyeshadow like while we're talking right now no you're not yes I am I'll send you a picture I'll send you a picture of me doing that's amazing that's amazing I'm sitting here with my headphones on with my mic with a little palette of eyeshadow and I'm like wow I really I um I actually haven't been to the gym in a little bit and I when I get back from Texas I think I'm gonna focus on getting back in the gym and that's another thing like I

don't even have the time to consistently go to the gym it's so hard right like here's the thing I feel like when you make it a part of your routine then it becomes not as hard it's making the effort to make it a part of your routine that is like the hard part it's like the getting started part you know and it's like once you fall off the wagon then it's like okay well then one day turns into the next day turns into right now it's next year and you haven't done anything not just saying specifically you I'm saying also me right no I get it you know but I I will say I try to at least if I don't go to like well I will say I haven't been to the gym I just use like the stuff at home just because of COVID but um how how does that work actually when you go to the gym um we have to wear a mask in the

gym once like the only time that I can pull it down is in during cardio now oh wow is that not aggravating yeah it's super aggravating oh wait I want to ask um anybody who's listening if you do bar classes like I have a pure bar that's like not too far from me and I think it it could be something that I totally could get into I just want to know like how effective the classes are and is it is it worth it because what is bar it's like where you use like a um like a ballet bar I guess and you like do exercises off of them from what I understand and okay that sounds really cool and everyone that I have ever talked to that does it um loves going it's like they're obsessed with it but I'm just I don't know I just want like real honest opinions like if you've been if you

didn't like it if you felt like it was worth the time um I don't even know how long the classes are or anything like that I feel like I need to be doing class like workout classes with people because I feel like I get more motivated that way than just like trying to do it solo does that make sense I am always more motivated and I know that they say you should really it should really come from yourself and I do go by myself I will go by myself but I definitely feel more motivated when I go with somebody yeah especially someone who's more motivated than me when it comes to the gym because it's hard to stay there like I guess the hardest part is getting to the gym getting to the getting to the workout yeah like putting the workout on your tv or whatever that looks like

for you is like that's the hardest part actually I can't tell you how many times that I've gone to the gym and just like not been feeling it and sitting in the parking lot like trying to hype myself up to get out and it's like I'll sit there for like 30 minutes and it's like okay yeah not today I'll see you tomorrow and I just like pull off yeah like what what is wrong with me who who am I um okay next news is that I'm gonna start cooking for Thanksgiving today are you excited I'm excited for you I really am excited for you and I'm excited to see what you make is it the same I know we talked about this a hundred times but is it do you make the same things every year or is there ever like a new dish that you're trying or you bring back an old

retired recipe or like how does that what does that look like you know sometimes you pull some stuff out of retirement if you're feeling it and then sometimes you're just you know doing there there are some staple things that are like okay every year it that's gonna be on there but then there's some things and I'm like okay I can like mix this up so I don't know I was just saying I need to make my list to go to the grocery store because I need to get to cooking because um I have to make my cornbread for my dressing I probably should make it tomorrow so it'll be good and like ready to crumble um I don't like to make it on the day the day of and I hate being in the kitchen I don't know any other cookers that are on here that hates being in the kitchen on

the actual holiday because I like to have all of my stuff pretty much like pre-done so the only thing I have to do is like put it in the oven because I also feel like okay well that's not fair I want to enjoy the holiday too like how everybody else is yeah no 100% and if you're really the only one cooking and you don't have hope sometimes you have to do that I think that's fine I totally think that's fine can you tell me what you're gonna bring to the table or are you just like not helping no I'm just gonna show up okay gravy and all no I'm not I'm not doing gravy this year you're not I um so Sterling is I don't for those of you guys who follow me I'm sure you if you've been following me for a while you know who Sterling is we're still friends she's just not

on social media and she lives in Texas so that's why I don't post her I wish I could be her like not on social yeah she she has social media but she she deletes the apps from her phone and she'll only like occasionally post um so she I love that I'm hosting yeah same I'm I am be that I wish I could be that um so she is hosting and she's not gonna see her family this year just because of like all the things so we decided to not see her families together for Thanksgiving and um I actually shipped like a bunch of stuff to her house like Amazon yeah and primed it to her um just for like the week because I'm staying I'm gonna be in Texas from Tuesday to Sunday so I like sent a ton of stuff that's not Thanksgiving related but like for the week and so that's my contribution um Sterling

is a chef so she is going to be cooking everything and probably doesn't want me in her kitchen although um she's gonna teach me how to make her spaghetti her homemade spaghetti sauce on another night while I'm there oh wait I want to try it I love spaghetti yes and I'm I love spaghetti now like especially if there's cream cheese in it um no I'm actually really I love spaghetti but I'm picky about it so I'm excited to see what it is and if she teaches me how to do it and she gives me the permission I will share the recipe with you so that you can try it too we can do it for coffee on those cooks tell her just give you permission come on I give it to you but I don't know I don't want her I don't want to give it out to the world tell her just take one for the team

I bet it's good it's probably so good she actually taught me how to make my Alfredo she did like that she taught me that yes Kale I knew you didn't come up with that on your own I don't know I didn't come up with that on my own what do you think this is well I mean I don't know cooking with Kale cooking with Kale yeah you know what so funny I really want to see the video of your cooking from Philly because so funny I don't think they're gonna get it to us why because it's bad because the recipe didn't turn out they got explained they got our footage they got our footage for for your cooking but not mine I don't want my spaghetti one I think my spaghetti one was not great I didn't have the right ingredients but my Alfredo one was okay I thought I thought it was

good honestly like I I'll be honest like it I feel like mine was better but I feel like yours was good like I was in prep honestly first of all you can't say yours was better when you made meat you literally made meat dishes and it's not comparable to pasta dishes they're just different it's not like we made the same thing bitch could you have made the meat as good as me answer that question I'm going to try I'm gonna try answer me now I'm gonna try I'm gonna try to make it as good as you not better but as good as good well you know you can always try you can strive for perfection you know you can always try hey I've got to tell you this so oh god I'm scared you should be um no seriously

I went through my bathroom cabinets you know how are you talking about like organizing and stuff and the amount of stuff that I threw away was honestly problematic that it was even in my cabinets you know what I'm saying yeah 100% know what you're saying like why do we hold on to things like that like and then I I don't know but sometimes I go through this thing where it's like it's not the product or like whatever it is that I like can't get rid of it's the fact that I spent money on it so now yeah like I need to use it if it's like um like lotion or like a you know makeup product or something like I feel like I'm obligated to use it once I see like when it's literally put into perspective how much money I've spent on something when I'm going through my

shit so like for sure now I have to use it you know hey and then I did my makeup bag and like put just the stuff that I know I use like on a daily or like a weekly basis and just made everything like way more simplified but going through that I felt that same anxiety it's like oh well I used that like three little palette thing one time when I was in New York City to line my lower lid so I should probably keep it in case I need it you know what I'm saying yes I get it but why why is that me I just I think there's a lot of people if you don't realize how much tell me no yeah if you're Lindsay tell me um no can I also tell you that I have therapy every Friday at 9 a.m so anybody should that's amazing not message me on Instagram or try to talk to me

on Fridays at 9 because I'm busy that's the T we are we are claiming our sanity our mental health our all the things we're claiming it you know what it's funny that you say that because I was driving the other day and I was like you know what 2021 is not going to be I understand like there was a lot of things out of our control in 2020 but 2021 is not going to take control of me I'm going to take control of it so I will have a schedule and the only deviation of my schedule might be recording but other than that like nobody tried to mess with my schedule because I just I feel like once you get off I'm so good about having a schedule but once you get off of a schedule and you start making so many exceptions for whatever then it's like okay well then then

there's like no point of you having the schedule right right and it's like okay well then that was just pointless so it's like okay well in 2021 I know going into the new year that I will have that I will have therapy every Friday at nine like no matter where I'm at normally we record on Tuesdays sometimes that has to change I had to start sharing an electronic calendar with my producers as of this past weekend after I had yet another scheduling conflict and you guys know that in the past we talked about overbooking I was under the impression that we were starting to film on Sunday when I already had committed to doing a shoot at allure which is where I get my bow top my discord um now that I started doing that so I committed to doing a shoot with them

and completely forgot about that until I realized that MTV wanted to film on Friday and I was not prepared for that either so now I have to I hate electronic calendars like I'm a hand write it me to write it down I want it on the calendar where if I'm home I'm not if I don't have my phone on me I can just walk right over to the fridge look at what I have if it's not on the calendar it's not fucking happening um and then I usually will take like one day out of the week and like add things to like my personal planner that comes with me in my bag um but that hasn't been working out to like show MTV like what I already have going on in my life and like where they can film or they can't film because of COVID um you know they can't film like they normally do they're not allowed to

come to football at all and if I was to film with someone like for example with Lindsay if Lindsay and I were to film she would have to be tested for COVID and like quarantine for a few days before she's allowed to film with us so like a normal appointment can't be filmed so um I say all that to say schedules 2021 is coming hot listen let's do our own branded planners that's what we should do we really should brand our own planners yes that for our focused lives um I feel like people are not going to take us seriously that we're going to be focused on a schedule but seriously I'm so focused and committed to this and another thing on the point of the electronic schedules is I actually know a story of someone um that when this was like a long time ago but when

they were raising kids their kids are already like raised and grown but she used to hate that her husband required her to give to like write down her schedule on the refrigerator and she's like that to me is just crazy like the fact that I have to write down my schedule and like say everything that I'm doing like where I'm gonna be all hours of the day so you can keep tabs on me like that's just insane not healthy yeah so and I get that like 100 get that but now that I do this person told me this before I had a kid but now that I do have a child I'm like you know what that's probably like not the worst case scenario because I feel like I get so wrapped up in doing whatever I'm doing that I just neglect the fact that someone else might have a schedule so I do

feel like it's kind of helpful and it takes away like if somebody chooses not to like they electively choose not to look like whether it be on an electronic calendar or like on your refrigerator if it's with your spouse or boyfriend whatever then that's on them but I feel like if you just like write it down and they can look and see what you're doing and if they just choose neglect it then that's on them but it's like removed from you and I feel like it just removes so much stress yeah I agree you're like yeah I agree but I'm not doing that no I um I don't know how I feel about like getting someone else my schedule like like full on details but I feel like if I was in a relationship or like marry to someone I would be okay

sharing like a calendar that says like appointment at whatever time right yeah but I don't need to give you like disclose all the details they don't need to know exactly what's going on at the appointment like yes my partner should know that I'm getting a pap smear on October 31st 2019 at exactly 101 pm is that so crazy like like no I'm not okay with that I feel like there has to be some type of privacy um but no I definitely think like that way you know exactly what I have going on and you can't say that you didn't know and me I am such a literal scaredy cat about everything I'm like hey do you want to go to this like annual appointment with me and you're like I don't even want them to know I'm having a pap and like you want to come you're like can you um hold my hand during

my pap smear please do could you imagine I mean I definitely know that's never happened to me actually you've never like had somebody in there when you're getting a pap oh yeah for sure like a friend or like support yeah support person I'm dead wait can you tell me um what is going on in the teen mom world um I saw that Chelsea announced that she was leaving the show um I don't think that we talked about it um and then we haven't talked about anything that's like going on are you guys filming a new season is this like did the reunion air so why am I out of the loop no the reunion is airing in January I think I could be wrong I don't know I think it's airing in December or January I don't know um but Chelsea did announce that she is leaving the show which

obviously is sad but I just I don't know I just I feel like there's other opportunities that she is working on or about to get like there's just something that's going to happen for her that's bigger and better and um you know I am curious to see I'm excited to see what she does because I know that she's doing like the home build stuff so I don't know maybe she'll get a show on like HDTD or something um I might have said that before I'm not sure and team up we're not going a new season technically it's a sec it's a part two of season 10 um and that's their way of not having to pay us more because it's technically not a new season um it's just an extension of the season I relate I relate yeah I mean it's definitely that's definitely

does all reality tv do that freaking scammers I mean it's smart but like also like you know yeah like stop trying to make us do free stuff I don't know what else is like new and team on road I haven't kept up with anybody unfortunately I know um I talked to Leah the other day I talked to Chelsea the other day um and other than that I don't talk and I hope I'm not missing anyone I don't really talk to anyone from the show like I don't talk to any of the you know what I'm lying at Caitlin will occasionally check in with me um Caitlin from OG and then occasionally um Ashley from Young and Pregnant but other than that I don't know like what's going on I know they're not allowed to film me go to Texas because of COVID rules and stuff like that as far as production

goes um and I have to I had to test two days ago for COVID and then I had to test last night for COVID um and I'll have to test when I get back from Texas for COVID before we can resume filming so it's kind of just like this weird time and I know that my crew everyone's crew has to be living where we're at they don't fly back and forth or drive back and forth right now wow yeah so it's like these people are really committed to their jobs because they're being away from their families for that long yeah for the film remaining um time while we shoot the rest of the season that's very committed and I'm very proud of them but that's a level of commitment that I am just not comfortable with to be honest yeah you know

yeah I hear you yeah like I just I don't know all right I just want to take a really quick minute to talk about my canvases because everyone always asks me where my canvases are from and I mean I know you guys see them on Instagram on Snapchat and now I have a chance to tell you guys on my podcast that I get my canvases from canvas people so if you're listening go to canvas people they have awesome quality canvases and it's literally the perfect gift for anyone whether it's Christmas, Hanukkah, birthday or just because or you just want a simple cute way to decorate your house with your canvases of your family your friends whoever canvas people is the way to go so I do this every year with my kids as you guys know

if you follow me on social media I do a family photo shoot every year and then I get our canvases done individuals and then our group family picture and I hang them on the wall every year so for you guys as a limited time holiday offer canvaspeople.com is offering their popular 16 by 20 photo canvases for free no I'm not making that up it's free they normally sell for $113 but you'll pay nothing just cover shipping and handling and you get your free 16 by 20 canvas if you text coffee to 6400 just pay shipping and handling and this litter this offer will not last so text coffee to 6400 that's coffee to 6400. Moving on from that I saw a bunch of messages in our thing of people saying that talking about what we were talking about last week about Department of Social Services

and stuff and how that it's a lot more do you remember that conversation from last week wait what is the conversation we were talking about how you were like I I don't know how I wasn't taken or whatever and then I was like yeah I don't know how Department of Social Services like wasn't involved and then like you gave the whole spiel of the situation with growing up do you remember that yes are you blocking out I yep I had a little bit of a blockage but now it's all coming back to me I'm so glad that you're back um it's like really dealing with like a grandma for real but um yeah so some people messaged in actually people who worked for Department of Social Services and told me that each state has like different guidelines or whatever

however the investigative process of Department of Social Services basically it has to be like an extreme scenario for them to remove a child from a home which like I get but like also that's kind of scary you know what I mean yes but then my next question is I actually have several so I understand it's and that's unfortunate because my lawyer did tell me that my lawyer said you know when I wanted to make a call about something he was like you know unfortunately they can't remove all children from those situations or whatever um but so if that's the case and then you talk to other ones like the ones from the Gabriel Hernandez situation yes um they said that

they're their caseloads they're overwhelmed with caseloads so these obviously are cases where they are extreme and they're still being overwhelmed with these cases so it's like I know what I mean what do you do with that situation I think that it's like you were saying last week that they can't save and help everyone and to me that is just I don't know how I feel about well I know how I feel about that I don't know how to articulate how I feel about that um my um my one friend has her mom has three siblings their siblings and she's in the adoption process of all three of them um oh wow because the situation was quote unquote extreme um so and I would just like to know like what is considered extreme like extreme measures yes depending on the child like not not to toot

my own horn or anything but I feel like I turned out okay for all the shit that I've been through my life and to be perfectly honest with you Lindsay I haven't said even half of it I turned out okay but I feel like there are children it could have went one of two ways right like I could have ended up like my mom or I could have ended up ended up on the streets on drugs you know I could have I could have went down a completely different path than I did um so what about the kids who are not in the in the position that that I was in where I was able to come through what about the kids that are not as I don't want to say I don't want to call them out I don't want to say that they're immature or like but maybe they're just like what is the word I'm looking for like I don't want to like

I don't want they're not weak they're not weak they're just don't have I know what you're trying to say right so like it's it's it's like two people being raised in the exact same household and one of them it you know grows up to be a drug addict and one of them doesn't like that kind of situation so what do you do with the ones that need I guess need just need a little bit more help but but everyone else is seeing it as not extreme but to them to that person the way that that child handles the situation it is extreme is that coming across better yeah I know I yeah so like if you and I lived in the same household and everyone's like oh well Lindsay's fine so Kale should be fine but in little old Kale's mind I'm little Kale's I can't I can't handle this and

this is too extreme and it's gonna fuck me up for the rest of my life where you might have turned out okay and you don't need any help moving forward you know what I mean so like I but how do you how do you how do you decide what is extreme and what's what's not extreme for each individual case I don't know listen this is one of the messages that I got hi Lindsay so I listened to yours and Kale's podcast every single week the past week when you guys touched on the state coming to take children you had so many good points I work for the state of blank and as as a child protective services investigator now being in the state and working there there are so many rules and different policies that go along with doing a removal if it isn't something emergent a family has to go through

a process and everything before removal actually happens I don't always agree with it but it's a crazy crazy job well at that to her point like and how does one like a case um is it are they case workers is that what it is she's an investigator I guess yeah my bad my bad um so an investigator what if she beams it as urgent an emergency and then the supervisor does not or in Gabriel Hernandez's situation all these case workers knew what were what was going on and nobody decided that that was urgent enough to remove him from the situation um and then you have that happening so it's like but I feel like before I forget this thought I feel like more children would be more honest and be more willing to tell the situation that they're in if they knew that they were going to be

taken then and not have to deal with possible repercussions after department of social services leaves because let's say they come out to your house and they investigate and they question all the kids and the parents are there okay and one of the parents it one of the parents are the abuser the kids know that they're not going to be taken right then so how likely is it going to be that they're going to be honest if they're honest they're probably going to get abused more once the child protective services investigator leaves right so why is the system not set up to where when someone goes out to do that that the child is remeed immediately removed from the home if they claim they are being beaten or molested or whatever it is does that make sense yes it

does make sense I mean I I know when my mom has been there for investigations I wasn't saying all the things I wanted to say with my mom right in front of me because I knew as soon as they left I was going to get it worse and I just don't think that it's just it's so hard like it's like I don't how do you even I don't even know what to say about it it's such a messed up system to me yeah yeah I agree I truly feel like if well it's almost I guess dehumanized system I guess because it's a system right so I don't know but when I was reading some of the messages I was just like wow like to me some of the things that the system deems are extreme are unfathomable to me like right right things that that they think are grounds to like take a child I feel like

like okay well let's say some some kids getting beaten and they get like some bruises or whatever and then one kid's getting verbally attacked every single day and it's affecting their mental health are they going to take the child out of the home because they're being verbally abused like I don't know that's what I'm that's what I'm saying so and it's like every kid handles things differently so how how extreme it is from one kid to the next is going to vary right right I don't know we're just blessed that we are not in those situations and save the freaking kids like I want to help them me too and it makes me think all the time like I don't know every time I think about this stuff I just get like in a very negative headspace yeah

yeah just like um I've known that we that they're out there and we can't do anything about it yeah it just truly makes me physically sick and I used to go and volunteer at the children's hospital like um for the children who have cancer and I did that for a while and I would just go and do visits and take like love your melon hats and stuff like that yeah and also would put me in such a bad negative like headspace that I couldn't go back for a while because I just mentally couldn't cope right just like I don't know it's so sad it's so hard yeah it's so sad it really is so sad well on a more positive note what are your kids doing for the holidays they're traveling with you for Thanksgiving yes all of them oh yeah all of them all of my kids yeah all four of them are

coming with me to Texas and um and then they'll go with their dads for wait did I say Christmas no you said they're going with you to Texas they're going to Texas okay yeah I literally would lose my head if it wasn't attached so um they're going with me to Texas for Thanksgiving and then they'll go with their dads for Christmas okay so are they excited about going to Texas what are their pumps they're so pumped oh my gosh Lincoln's picture I literally laughed out loud this morning whenever I went and was like scrolling on the stories and I came across yours and it was his like football picture and you were like who does he think he is I was busting out laughing why is he so serious because he thinks he's the man I don't know who he thinks he is

Javi jr he for real like he is Javi jr for sure um wait can you tell everyone about your shopping for snacks for football yeah because it was so funny so okay well let me just practice this by saying that at the beginning of football the team mom assigned everyone a day to do snacks for football um and naturally as one does Javi passed it off to me and didn't do one himself so I'm like okay so I knew it I did not get the right I did not get the memo that it was healthy snacks only so I originally got like the 24 pack of like a variety of chips and Gatorade zero the little mini Gatorade zeros and called it a day find out there's no it has to be healthy so I'm like okay I go to the supermarket and before I even go to the grocery store I bring the snacks for snack day

and what happens they don't need me that day the day that I'm assigned so I'm like okay I'll bring them next week so I bring them next week I I go to the store because I then forgot them at home and I had to go to the store and I was early to football anyway so it worked out but the store that I went to some stores carry veggie straws in the biggie the biggie the big bag yes but some someone some of them carry the the variety pack of like the ranch cheddar and original veggie straws in like the individual bags so that's what I was looking for because they said it had to be healthy so they don't have any veggie straw variety packs and I'm like well fuck what do I do because I feel like Gatorade zero is fine but I'm thinking okay healthy snacks a banana this is great but

I just felt like it would look so weird for me to show up with five bundles of bananas for the whole team like I just felt like that would look so dumb so I texted Lindsay and I'm like what do I do here because I don't know why cuties for like London times ever crossed my mind they just never crossed my mind and Lindsay was like well you could do little cuties and I was like oh wow like there's an idea you know snack queen over here I know all this you know I can pull out but like why why am I embarrassed to bring five bundles of bananas but I'm not embarrassed to bring cuties I'm embarrassed for you to bring five bundles of bananas really do the kids even like bananas I don't know you know I just feel like honestly and all of my snack duties I don't know

that I've ever seen anybody bring a bushel of bananas like I'm a bushel is that what it is it maybe that's what it's called I don't know I think it's a bushel of bananas I don't I can honestly tell you I don't think that I have ever seen nobody I've never seen it either ever so I'm just wondering like where you really came up with the idea to do bushels of bananas and I honestly wish that you didn't text me and I told you that it was a good idea honestly I mean I wonder what they would have said me as well I want to know what would have happened I think they would have been like you're canceled for indefinitely on the snack thing you're never allowed to do snacks again and you're like yes I'm like thank you thank you so much that's exactly what I was actually looking

for so I've accomplished my goal like um next time maybe someone shouldn't hand off the day to me wait I don't know so can you tell me okay and then it was even more funny because Kale was like of course it's the week that like I don't even have my kid like no so the original week that I had the snack um day was getting to me on the week that I had my kid and when they decided when I wheeled and waggoned my snacks to the field it was the chips and then you know they were like oh we don't need you today and it was like well fuck you one you assigned this to me and two you know it's not healthy or whatever I had my kid the next week I don't even have my kid and I'm wheeling and dealing snacks onto the field I hope the hell is this okay but that actually makes a good point

you're laughing I can't I have a real question didn't ask it okay so for other people who are in my situation that are you know split from their their child's parent other parent do you feel like both parents should be responsible for snack on a day like okay for example even when um Isaac and Lincoln go to school um and they send like the list of school supplies or whatever we know that the teachers are in need a lot of the time for like other supplies and stuff like that so Joe and I usually get the we get everything on the list both of us and we send it in and then like if another kid needs it they can use it or Isaac needs it later on he can use it um do you feel like it's the same should be for sports like

should hobby and I both have a snack day oh interesting um no I think okay the way I look at it is okay you would both have a snack no no no okay so how many games do you have um honestly I couldn't even I know it goes it went from like the beginning of October and it goes until December 18th because I think that every family should be responsible for a snack day and then if there was like leftover snack days then maybe one of them go back to the second parent yeah but okay that that could work and then whoever is assigned snacks so let's say like okay the Lowry Mira Quinn family is getting snacks on October 31st let's just say that if you have him to take him to the game then you're responsible if he has him and he takes him to the game then

he would be responsible for snacks okay that makes sense to me also does that make sense yes I feel like do I need to call Harvey I'm not supposed to talk about him anymore actually so here I am again bound to never talk about him good or bad or ugly or anything this is just funny tell him to calm down this is so funny I I'm just curious I honestly couldn't see well especially because I have four fucking kids and like I know that's not his problem that I have four kids but also it's like you handed it off to me it's like an extra responsibility that you and maybe maybe his mind I'm just gonna play devil's advocate maybe his mind is oh well like I help like coach and practice and do this so like you can do the snacks because you're a lady

um I think the fuck not I think that that might be the situation I think the fuck not I mean you might be right you're calling it that's not what it is but I definitely feel like that oh no no no I am not saying that's not what it is I'm saying that I do not agree and I think the fuck not I will not get snacks because I'm a woman I said you're lady um oh yeah because I feel like that's what will would do to me like if if we were not together I feel like he would be like yo can you like stop it publics and like grab some snackies like I feel like that's what he would say some snackies I for sure do like no doubt he's gonna be like I'm coach your snack lady yeah sure smack lady I'm done that's what he's gonna say for sure um anyhow well so

where are you off to what are what are your plans anything that I need to know anything our listeners need to know before we hop off here um I am I'm actually I don't want to say it on the podcast yet because the person may listen to it and it's a surprise I will text it to you I'm going to get something for my friend's son's birthday and I'm actually really pumped um me and his mom are going to get it that's exciting she's gonna meet me over at the place and we're gonna get some birthday stuff for him cool well that sounds fun um well you have fun shopping now that I have done my eye shadow and I just need to dry my hair while I've been just chit chatting with my friends um yes I'm gonna hop off here and get to blow in this main and I will talk to you guys after Thanksgiving

I hope you guys all get chunky and happy and sleepy and all of the things on Thanksgiving and I hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see you