Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 135: Pandemic Thoughts, Being Tongue Tied, and Listener Submitted Scandal Stories

Episode Date: December 17, 2020

On this week's episode of Coffee Convos, Kail and Lindsie revisit some recent topics. You all have been asking for some updated opinions about pandemic related topics, so Kail and Lindsie chat about school situations and how teachers are having to teach. Recently Kail has been trying to get her son Creed in to see a specialist about being tongue tied, but she had a less than pleasant experience at the doctor's office. Good thing she has some amazing people on her side to validate her, and advocate for her! And last week Kail and Lindsie talked about the new TV show A Teacher, and wanted to know if any listeners had heard of anything like that happening at their schools. You all did not disappoint with the submissions! This episode was sponsored by: Homer, Man Crates, Everlane, & Better Help Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Happy Combo's podcast. You sang. That wasn't really like a singing though. That was like, like a talk sing. Got it. Got it. Well, you know, that wasn't like my most, that wasn't my best work. So it could have been better.

Oh, absolutely. Well, I'm glad that you put in the most effort. That's what really matters. Can I tell you something that just happened to me? And I don't know if I should be like embarrassed, appalled, or just like accepting the fact that I'm a lunatic. It sounds like all three, you should really just accept all the things. So as we've talked about on the podcast before that Will and I just, one of our biggest

flaws is communication and the relationship and just like not being in sync with each other's schedules and not knowing what the hell is going on ever. So I mean, Will might have a lunch meeting at the house or something and I literally have no idea until the person rings the doorbell. So today I am doing hair and makeup because I have a ton of stuff that I have to get done today just trying to finish up everything this week so that I can take most of the week off next week for Christmas. So I'm in the middle of doing this and I've gone to the gym this morning and I feel like,

oh, wow, I've gone to the gym. I actually ate breakfast. I took a shower. Everything's moving in a positive direction. And as I told you, I got cameras at my house on Sunday. So now everything that happens outside of my house rings to my phone. So I see this strange man like on my camera, like looking around my front porch and I'm like, okay, what the hell is this man doing?

He's wearing gloves. He's got on like some strange boots and like this is not something I'm comfortable with. So I run downstairs and I have my robe on, but I guess like my boob was like out on one side and like my nipples were hanging out. And who it was like, so were you planning on opening the door butt ass naked? And I'm like, no, I'm telling you, I'm not going to the door. There's some freaking strange man that's outside and I'm watching him like scale around our house.

Like it's weird. Well, I guess I forgot that we were having our house painted. So Will was getting quotes from like all these different companies. So I guess the man, that's why he was looking so intently at my house because I guess he was looking for paint, but I literally thought he was a robber and my teddy was hanging out. So that's how my day is going. That's amazing. Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, but you had a great story to tell in the podcast.

So I know. So how is your morning going? Is it better than mine? I have no complaints this morning other than I have a lot of work to do for something that I have coming up in March and my office desk looks like I'm trying to solve a murder. That's what it looks like. There is shit everywhere. And then I also have Lincoln with me because as you know, it's they're at an age where

like they just need help all day. So I'm like, okay, Lincoln, just like, be really quiet and then just like tap me if you need me. And I'm because I'm like, I need to get work done, but Isaac doesn't need help. Lincoln needs help. Lux is at school. It's just a shit show, you know, wait, so is your state still doing half digital? No, they went to completely virtual.

They pulled everybody out of school. What? We haven't talked about this. Yes. Oh, really? Yeah. They pulled everyone's out of school. So they only were in hybrid for four weeks or three or four weeks.

Are you kidding? Oh, I'm not kidding. And you know, I'm at a point where it's like, at least I know how to like do everything now, but it is hard and I still feel for the fricking teachers like, like I've said it a million times, but like I became friends with one of Lincoln's teachers and she has four kids of her own. Like it's, I can't imagine how like, frustrating she feels, yeah, because she was telling me how, and I hope I don't, I hope I'm not saying too much, but she was just saying how like

it's really hard for her to concentrate on. She wants to be able to give her all to her students, you know what I mean when she's at home trying to teach other kids and she has her own kids at home. I mean, I can't imagine what that's like. And then I guess I don't know, but I've heard rumors that they're not allowing the teachers to teach from the classrooms anymore either. So it's just like, what the hell? Wow.

So it's literally like their living rooms. Okay. So yeah, that is just not a thing. I think that we all have to understand people who or states, whatever that have moved back to completely digital that people do have to be mindful that a lot of teachers, and I can say this just from people that I know do choose that profession so that they have summers off. So a lot of teachers do have their own children.

And so I think people just need to be mindful that as much as they want to give to their classroom, they also have to pour into their kids too. And I just, I couldn't imagine. If they go back to digital here, I'm going to scream. So just so you know. Yeah, I'm, I can't, I, I, yeah, I don't, I'm curious to see how much longer this goes on. All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break to chat about one of my favorite partners,

Homer. I know we've chatted about them many of times before, but for those of you who missed it, Homer is the essential early learning program from kids ages two to eight. And Homer takes kids on a learning journey personalized to their age, interest and learning level, boosting their confidence and growing with them as they build skills for school and life. I love the fact that every Homer product is research based, kid tested and thoughtfully designed for growing minds.

I have it on my phone. Jackson has it on his tablet and it just makes me feel good knowing that if I have to give him my phone, the apps for Homer are absolutely amazing. I love the fact that it's engaging enough to keep him engaged, but it's educational and it's so much fun as we were chatting earlier in the episode, as families continue to face challenges of distance and hybrid learning. Homer just seems to fit into the at home learning plan just so seamlessly and we just love it. So as I said, it's personalized, it's fun, it's comprehensive.

One thing that I did want to notate is it's safe and easy. So Homer's learning grow app is ad free and it's just easy to use with kid, kid friendly navigation and it's perfect for independent play. So instead of your kid scrolling through YouTube or watching TV, Homer will keep your child engaged and then research back. I have to mention the part that the learning grow app is proven to increase reading scores by 74% with just 15 minutes per day. I think that is so super important and those are great numbers.

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and games. Just so much fun y'all. So if you guys would like to try it, you can visit learn with Homer.com slash combos to start a free 60 day trial. We got a couple of messages about this and I am sorry. I have not been keeping up with teen mom because it's on my DVR. However, I watch it, but I watch it like so late that by the time I watch it, it's like five years has passed.

So supposedly there was something on teen mom, I guess in one of your scenes and you had discussed, um, creed being tongue tied. Yes. And there were a lot of messages that came through, um, about it and someone advised that you see a pediatric dentist before doing anything. Yes. Have you heard this? Or did you see these messages?

Yes. Okay. So, okay, I can't tell you and I don't know if I don't remember if we've talked about this before, but I was told by two medical professionals, um, that creed was tongue tied both my midwife and his regular pediatrician. Um, and I just felt like, okay, between that and all the symptoms that he's having, he probably is tongue tied taken. I was recommended by our pediatrician or pediatric dentist to go to an ENT because

he might, our dentist didn't have the training because it's like a special training that you need to like basically get, um, because they're not going to focus on it in like school or whatever. Um, so he recommends me to somebody and I guess this ENT specifically only really notice notes like very severe tongue ties, not like a posterior tongue tie or something along those lines. So I was overwhelmed and when I tell you how stupid I felt when I came out of that ENT's office and she was like, he's not tongue tied.

I was like, he's not like what, like I didn't come here because I just woke up one day and I just assumed that it was like two medical professionals had told that to me, put it on his, uh, birth chart and in his pediatrician, um, like whatever notes they keep, um, and then all of these symptoms. So I like, I felt so stupid and the way that she said it was just so like, he's not tongue tied, like the way that she said it made me feel so belittled and dumb. Oh my God. I was so embarrassed.

And then they were filming on top of it. So I was like, what the fuck? So then when I air it, I kept like, I was messaging Larry and Patrick and Morgan and I'm like, Hey, can you guys please post this picture on the show of Creed with his heart shaped tongue? Because this is why we all thought he was tongue tied and like two professionals told me this. Well, yesterday I get on my email and I had an email from, and this is in addition to

all like the DMs and stuff that I was getting, um, I get on and there's an email from a dentist in Alabama. This is, I don't know if she's a pediatric dentist or if she is, um, there's like a regular dentist, um, but to sum it all up, she sent me her book, the PDF version of her tongue tied book. It's called tongue tied. Um, and basically said, um, that with the symptoms, she just said she doesn't watch the show, but some of her employees do.

And, um, if there are more than a few check marks on this list that she sent me, then likely he is tongue tied. Um, so she said, if, if you would like to come visit us in Alabama, please let us know and we'd be happy to take care of your child. So hopefully you can see a resolution of some or all of the issues that you guys are struggling with. Um, and then she said that she sent me, um, like a checklist and a new patient form. So I was like, Oh my God, just because she did this, I want to drive to Alabama to have

him seen. Um, for sure. Well, let me read you this message that, that, that we got. So it says, okay, I love the fact that she called you Kaylin too. Hey, Kaylin. I am a speech language pathologist trained in identifying tongue ties and helping families with treatment. I was watching your tongue tied episode and I'm so furious with the ENT that you went

to everything your midwife pediatrician and you said about the tongue tie is a hundred percent true. ENTs are usually the worst about identifying and treating tongue ties. It really is a specialty area and finding someone well trained and knowledgeable can be difficult. I highly suggest looking for a pediatric dentist in your area who specializes. I can reach out to some colleagues for you if to see if anyone, um, that is preferred in your area.

Tongue ties can have a lifelong effect. So if you haven't already had it released, I highly suggest considering it or getting more information. Let me know if you have any questions or need help in any way. If you do decide to proceed with the release, please be sure to reach out to an oral facial. Myologist who can prescribe and provide pre and post something stretches and exercises. Again, I can reach out if you need help to locate someone from the episode, there was a moment where I saw Creed's tongue and it is absolutely tongue tied.

I'm sorry that you had this experience with the ENT you went to. I rarely ever refer to them. I literally want to cry like my eyes were welling up because the frustration that I've gone through in the, for the past, I'm going to cry. Um, it's so, it seems so trivial to the people who have never experienced this, but the, the highs and lows, really just the lows of the past four months with like Creed sleeping, his eating, my nursing struggles. I mean, I struggled with nursing so bad and just like not sleeping and stuff has, and

I know newborns don't sleep, but like this level of not sleeping for the past four months has been so insane. Um, and so it seems so trivial. Oh, like it's just a tongue tie, but like I am a single mom. So like I, I do this by myself. Um, I don't know why I'm getting emotional because well, because you're exhausted, stupid and you feel dumb fucking stupid, um, when the, when the ENT, just the way that she said it, um, and then it being on TV and I was just so embarrassed like for it to air and

then like people will be like, you would know if your son's not tongue, you know what I mean? Like, whoo, it's just been like a whirlwind, but, um, I started working with this woman named Brittany. Um, and I talked, I mentioned it before, uh, she's the sleep consultant that I've been working with and thank God he's just like sleeping now. She rewrote a sleeping plan for me because he's older and it's just working wonders right now, but like he still is spitting up, I think more, um, more than like a normal baby because

of the tongue tie, which is one of the things and just like chewing on things, like the nipple. Um, so it's just been, it's been a lot. So I, the woman that, um, the dentist that emailed me in Alabama, she also suggested one that specializes in tongue tie in Philadelphia. And since that's only about an hour from me, I'm going to see if I can get in with him. Um, but I also want to say that Lux is tongue tied. Like I'm 99% sure now that, and she also said that it comes from the father's side.

Um, That's so crazy that you say this because I have a story to tell you, but so Lux, you think Lux also is. Yeah. Because he had some of the same issues, um, thinking back on it and I asked him, I don't know if this is like part of it, um, but I asked him to stick out his tongue. I had all my kids stick out their tongue. Yeah.

And Lux is not a heart shaped tongue, but he can't stick it out very far at all. Like it barely covers his bottom lip when he sticks it out. Oh wow. Okay. So I was like, oh, maybe he's also tongue tied. So as I was reading this message, I was like, I need to contact Will's mom and find out information and like how long she went through it with her boys because all three of her boys were tongue tied and I know that it's something that is like a hereditary trait

or whatever. So I don't know when they got their tongues clipped, but I know that will definitely had his clipped. I know his older brother had his clipped. I'm not sure if the younger one had his clipped or not, but, um, I'll ask her some information on how old they were when it happened and if there were any, like, um, I don't want to say like behavioral, but like, I guess like behavioral traits associated, would that be the right way to say it?

Yeah. I think that's, yeah. I mean, cause I mean, it's like not their fault, but like, obviously it would be something that's probably uncomfortable for them. Like as far as like reflux and sleeping and all of those things and they can't keep like the pacifier in their mouth. And then some of the other symptoms, let me see what was on that list. She wrote, the book is called, um, tongue tied and she had, it's an Amazon bestseller.

Um, hold on, there's like a list of different things. It's like, can't keep the pacifier in the mouth, wants to play with the nip like chew or like gnaw on a nipple. And I'm just like, literally this is all creed and I just, I don't, oh my God, I can't even explain to you like the num, like the amount of relief that I feel with just like knowing that I, we weren't wrong. Um, so mother's symptoms would be painful nursing, poor latch, cracked, creased, flattened nipples, bleeding nipples, lipstick-shaped nipples, poor breast drainage, clogged ducts,

engorgement, mastitis, nipple thrush, um, having to use a nipple shield. And then feeling like feeding the baby is a full-time job. So I mean, that was me with Lincoln as well. But for the baby, it's poor latch at, at breast or bottle, falls asleep while feeding, slips on and off the nipple when feeding, cries often, fussy often, which is literally my life for the past four months, reflux symptoms, which is also him spits up, which is also him clicking and smacking noise and noises when eating. He also did that gagging or choking when eating, gassy burps and toots, poor weight gain, biting

and chewing the nipple pacifier falls out easily or won't stay in short sleeping, mouth breathing and snoring, which he has congested nose, which he has milk coming out of the nose, frustration at breast or bottle more than 20 minutes per feeding after the newborn period and then eating more frequently than every two to three hours, which he has almost every single one of those symptoms. So he doesn't have all of them, but almost every single one. So I'm just, thank you for bringing that up because I feel so much relief. I really appreciate that.

All right guys, we're going to take a quick break to chat about one of will's favorite coffee combos podcast partners and that is man crates. If you're looking for an awesome gift for the men in your life that they'll love and actually use, it's possible to find that and you can give him a gift from man crates. They have hundreds of totally unique gift options available at man crates.com, like the whiskey appreciation crate with a personalized handmade whiskey to canter and tumblers, ice fear molds, slate coasters and snacks or the grill master crate. I've purchased this for will and he absolutely loves it and it would be such a great gift

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deals. And to buy one item, get your second 50% off at man crates.com slash coffee man crates.com slash coffee. Okay, so I really quickly want to talk about Everlane. Everyone has those staples in their wardrobe that we just kind of have where we can rotate and we love to wear them. They're comfortable. They stretch just right.

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Go to everlane.com slash combos and sign up for 10% off your first order plus free shipping and you get easy returns within 60 days of your ship date. That's 10% off your first order when you go to everlane.com slash combos and sign up. Well, I am so glad other news and completely other news. I, well, before I get into other news, I wanted to let you know that that message, if you did want to reach out to the lady that sent it, it is in our inbox on the podcast page. But in other news, while we're on the topic of kids, have you seen this video that's been, it's like a two part video going around on Facebook about the mom that went into Michaels

and her children almost got kidnapped? No, but I saw people when I asked like what we should discuss, they said the something about kidnapped at Michaels and I had no idea what they were referring to. Okay, so I watched the videos, it was about 20 minutes long, like each of the videos were like 10 minutes and it was a two part thing and it was this mom telling this story about how she had not really been going out because obviously COVID and just trying to keep the kids at home and she had an errand that she had to run at Michaels and then she had an errand that she was going to run at Target.

And she had two kids, a little boy who was autistic or is autistic and a daughter. So she had a double stroller, which I'm sure you can relate. And she said that she tries to park the furthest away from the store because when she is coming in or out, she doesn't want to be annoying to people who are trying to like get spots or whatever. So she just like parks farthest away to avoid all of that. So she gets to this Michaels and there's this man that's parked. She said two spots over to the left, like across from her and that he kind of starts

walking over to the car and he's just looking but doesn't really say anything. So she thinks, oh, okay, well, he maybe thought like he recognized me or something. But when he got close, I wasn't who, you know, he thought I was. And so then she said she goes in to the Michaels and she can like feel people following her and she sees that like this man and woman are following her and she's the back of the store trying to get spray paint and everyone knows if you try to get spray paint, you have to get assistance to get that. So she's the back of the store and these people are talking about her children's features

on the phone and she can hear them. And she said she was so paralyzed, like, I guess in fear that she really didn't know what to do. So she starts going like around the store or whatever. And then she finally gets in line and these people have been following her the whole time. They get behind her in line. And then when they get up kind of closest closer to the register, then they pick up something to buy, like as if as if they were like customers.

So then this lady in front of her tells her to go ahead and go around her that she had children and, you know, she could check out first. So as she goes, she checks out and she thinks, Oh, well, I'm going to be able to get away from these weirdos because this lady let me pass and they've got to check out. No, she gets out back to the parking lot and she calls her husband and she said that she was scared and that this is, you know, the situation that was happening and whatever. And she, you know, like when you can feel somebody like watching you or following you, you know, that feeling, she said she had that feeling and the people were following her.

They like left the store and put down whatever they were going to buy and followed her out. So she gets out to her car and there's a white van there parked next to her. And she is thinking like, how am I going to get the kids in the car? You know, she has two kids and she's got to get them both into the car. So she goes to put the little girl in and she has the stroller, you know, like near her car. But as she's putting the little girl in the stroller, like started rolling just a little bit out of reach.

And when it did the, she said that the people were walking like back and forth around the back of her car, which was like really weird. She didn't know what they were doing. But then the man went to reach to like grab the stroller and he had said previously when he was talking that the little boy would be easier. Like she heard him say the little boy would be easier because he didn't have on a mask. So she obviously didn't care about him, but he is autistic. So there's like whole other things going on with that, you know, like with mask and whatever.

And so that's why he wasn't wearing a mask and I'm going to throw up just listening to this like literally, no, like I was almost puking whenever I was watching or watching this video. So then she said, she sees this old man and he has on a mask and he's in the parking lot. And she said that his eyes, he was watching the situation and she said that she could just see his eyes like get big and I guess he had a caregiver or a daughter with him or whatever. And she said that she just yelled like for help and then the people left and then she

was able to get her kids in the car and she was able to follow the police report and stuff. But with all of that being said, I think to her point in the video, she was saying that the world that we live in today, we're so consumed with coronavirus and whatever, like we're worrying about the mask and making sure our kids aren't touching things and all the things that you don't really think about. You know what I'm saying? Like it's not that you're, you're not thinking about your surroundings. Like you're not worried about the other, like you're not as aware.

Yes. And so I want to throw up thinking about that. The fact that, okay, so I, this whole time I'm thinking about my friend Sterling, who I talk about all the time. She's also a single mom. And so she would, she was telling me how if she sees anyone like approach, you know how sometimes like people who are asking for money or like at the gas station or people looking for change and stuff, like she's, she will literally, if she's getting her kids in the

car, she will literally put them in the car, close the door, and because they're coming up behind her. So if she's buckling them into a car seat, she'll start like telling them, get away from me. Like she'll be really, really loud about it because that's terrifying. Oh yeah. I think if I was the woman that you're describing at the mother, I think I wouldn't even have put my kids in the car seat at that time.

Like I think I would have just put them in the car. She said, she said that she was like, like, that's what I was about. I was about to say to her point, like one time I needed to call 911 at home and I couldn't like I physically could not dial 911. I had the phone in my hand and it was like, I was paralyzed with fear that I couldn't even get my fingers to dial 911. So I also, it's easy to say what you would do in that situation. But yeah, I mean, I can't imagine that's fucking terrifying.

There's a video of it or what were you saying? She had made a video, a two-part video on Instagram and now the video when I go back to try to access it, it's gone. So I don't know if maybe she was advised to like take it down. I mean, you just never know with social media these days if somebody intentionally targeted her or you know what I'm saying, like who's to say that those people didn't know who she was prior to her getting there. Does that make sense?

So I wonder if they were like casing the joint and like just looking for it could have been completely random right or not like who I mean who really knows is like a story that I think I talked about on the podcast before people targeting women at targets a man driving around in like a van and then sending out a woman and they would have them on FaceTime and so that way he would be able to see the women if he was you know interested in taking that one. And that was going on in a couple of towns over from me and I don't know if the people were ever caught but the point is is like we have to be so aware of our surroundings

and you cannot turn a blind eye for a second. Even though this mom had not really turned a blind eye she in the stroller was in reach it was only like two seconds that it rolled out of reach and somebody had already had their hand on the back of it ready to take that kid. The kid the other kid was in it. Yeah, the little boy the little boy that they were talking about on the phone saying he would be easier to take because the mom didn't care about him because he didn't have on a mask.

He was the one that was still in the stroller. Good. Oh my God. That is so sickening. I literally that makes me sick. That makes me not want to take all my kids out in public because I am only one person so I would it would be you know what I mean? Yeah.

Oh my God. Oh my God. It literally makes me so sick and then I was reading another direct message that I got saying hey listening to the podcast now in a situation about the couple who raped a little girl here's all the facts I live in Kissimmee where the guy was a firefighter it's so sick. The girl is the woman's daughter and it was absolutely horrible. He taped her and she watched and she was also laying in bed with them. The arrest affidavit is enclosed.

So I actually have the affidavit Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So the firefighter did it filmed it and who was in bed the what the girlfriend? Yeah, the the girlfriend and it was the girlfriend's daughter. Yeah. And people have sent me so many messages that had some kind of contact with either the firefighter or the girlfriend that like you know it's not like you might know them on like a personal level but or they would be an acquaintance but like you know of that person and if something like that's going on in your town it's like okay well they're obviously getting more insider

information than what the news you know might be reporting. So I don't want to say the stuff that I got because it could be hearsay and I don't want to be spreading like false news but also the stories that you read it's so scary because you never know if the media is legit or if it's twisted or whatever and then it seems to be like when we talk about it on the podcast and then you get messages about it like obviously the Florida stories like someone biting someone's penis off or like weird stuff right may or may not be true but when you see stuff like this I think it's more of like a prayer that you hope it's not true and then when something like this is true it's like wow we really

do live in a really sick and twisted world. I cannot believe this there so there's real this is a real story it's a real story I literally have like a little girl go to to tell this to because I don't remember if it was in the article that I like summarized or if it was did she who did she go to like I don't tell I don't think it was in the article and I haven't read the whole affidavit yet so I don't want to speak out of turn but I literally just got it last night and it's a one two three four five it's a five page affidavit so I mean obviously there's a lot of details in there but I'm going to print it off and there's there's some I'm looking at it now there's

some extractions on there you know like where they they block out certain things or whatever stuff um yeah I guess maybe to protect certain people but yeah I haven't read the whole thing but I will report back to you guys on the reading of that affidavit next week and let you know a little bit more but speaking of twisted have you um since we're all twisted who listened to this have you started watching the undoing it no I actually just finished trial four so um I I'm gonna need I'm not gonna talk about it this week I said I was going to but I want to wait until next week give people another chance to watch it if they haven't um but I have not started the undoing but now that I finished trial four

I will finish I will start the undoing so it's hard because when you're watching shows simultaneously like I don't just have hours on end to just watch shows all day because we're not in quarantine anymore but um maybe we'll be going back to quarantine so I'll be able to like speed what remember like when you were like speed watching shows during quarantine it's like you watch like a whole series in a in a day yes and it's like hmm wow I remember that life um not too long ago but so since I'm watching these shows simultaneously I can only watch like an episode here and then an episode there so I kind of wish that I would have watched I was having FOMO though you know it's like one of those things where

you see these shows being talked about on social media and it's like okay obviously this is good because this is like something that everybody is talking about so I need to see what it's about so then you get invested and then by the time you get invested it's too late so then you're like watching five things at one time so I want to yes episode three of the undoing I'm caught up on a teacher but that show is like a weekly show and then let's see what was the other show that I was watching um oh the flight attendant the flight attendant um I think I'm on episode four maybe of the flight attendant so it's like I alternate days that I watch these so like three days of my week are invested in these shows it's

like what the heck it's speaking of the the teacher situation yes um I was having conversations with my friends about after we discussed the whole thing last week about teacher student relationships and I told you there was like a million that happened here in Delaware um my friend sent me even more that happened at another school in Delaware and I was like what the fuck so I texted my friend Mark and I was like hey like do you remember anything like this happening when we were in high school in Whitehall Pennsylvania and he was like no I was like me neither like I don't know if we did it happened and we didn't hear about it or it just didn't happen there but like the fact that it was so prevalent here in

Delaware is terrifying um and we got a message I think it was on the coffee combos Instagram did she ever tell you the story oh no she didn't she hasn't sent me the story and I was hoping that I was going to be able to read it today but I haven't I haven't gotten it yet so I'm not going to be able to read it but um there was another person um that had sent let me see you guys when I go in and start reading um all of these messages and all the topics that we talk about you if somebody could be in my brain and see like the million gear shifting it's like it's going from tongue ties to the firefighter story to the undoing and it's like my brain just never shuts off when I'm in these messages

so better help h-e-l-p is amazing so if you're ever feeling like you need extra help um something is interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals or just feeling like yourself better help will access better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed person better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist so you can you can start communicating within 48 hours which is so great and it's not a crisis line um it's not a self-help line it's a professional counseling done securely online situation um there's a broad range of expertise available which may not be locally available I know when I was looking for therapy it was extremely hard

to find someone in my area that was that was what I was looking for and within the right driving distance for me so better help really comes in clutch for those types of situations um the service is available for clients worldwide you can log into your account anytime and send a message to your counselor and then you'll get timely thought out responses um and and you guys can schedule your weekly video chats or phone sessions so you won't ever have to feel like pressure or uncomfortable sitting in a waiting room um which is really really nice better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to exchange they make it easy and free to change counselors if you need it and it's really more affordable than traditional

offline counseling um and with that being said financial aid is also available so better help wants you to start living a happier life today visit their website read their testimonials they're literally posted daily you can visit betterhelp.com slash combos that's better h e l p and join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experience professional in fact so many people have been using better help that they're recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states special offer for coffee combos listeners you get 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com slash combos there was one person that it was an interesting story to me um that sent a message said hi kaila and lindsay i'm listening to the podcast now and

i just had to come on here and tell you about two scandals when i was in high school with teachers and students i'll start by saying that i went to a huge high school and it was the only um only high school for two to three cities so about five thousand plus students i attended from 2008 to 2012 my graduating class was about two thousand ish and while my freshman year a male teacher and a junior were caught messing around she got pregnant and long story short he went to jail she waited for him the entire time he was in jail i don't know how long and they are actually still together to this day the second one was actually one of my very favorite teachers she was so nice funny and very pretty so of course she would get flirted with all the time

i was her editor in chief for the yearbook and i needed to get into her classroom one day to work on some revisions it was lunchtime and the door was unlocked so i just walked in and she wasn't in the main part of her class so i'm calling her name she isn't answering i look in the storage closet not there so i go to the photo closet and her and one of my classmates were butt naked on the floor my eyes oh my god i literally didn't know what to do i panicked she was married had two kids is she crazy well in good conscious i would not um i couldn't let it go i went to the principal's office and from there on an investigation began we were interviewed and she was placed on administrative leave and our whole yearbook was ruined i hated her at this point come to find out

many years later she had been hooking up with many of the young male students and she was getting a divorce and i don't know what she's up to these days just crazy these scandals as a mom this absolutely disgust me and i can't even imagine the things i do have a teacher who i'm supposed to trust is hooking up with my son or daughter so okay so i have a couple questions um if you were to have walked in on something like that what would you have done would you have gone and told um i don't think so i don't think i would have either i think i don't know what i would have done but i don't know that i would have told because i felt like i would be afraid that i would be the one targeted i felt like as as if i this happened to me this never happened to me but i don't know

that i would tell but i also am saying that as a 28 year old woman who would never like even now like cheating scandals and stuff like that like i'll never do something like that again so i'm only speaking on it now i wonder what i would i probably would have told my friend like i don't think that i would have went to the principal's office because what if the teacher targets me and comes after me or they call me a liar or like you know stuff like that i would just be afraid that yeah bite me in the ass that's what i was saying i would just be afraid obviously there's three people in the situation right the two people that are doing this and then you so obviously they're gonna know who told right and i mean that's pretty bold to be doing that kind of thing at the school

like in a closet well what the hell like i just how do you think you're you're not going to get caught like that's weird to me like you really think that you're not going to get caught it's so weird to me and i feel like it is also common that when these scandals happen psychologically something happens to the younger person's mind or something because i have heard so many people sent me messages of these students marrying the teacher like after the whole investigation like yeah scandal whatever you want to call it like goes down that they actually have these long-term relationships and i mean i don't know if if my child i'm thinking i'm trying to think of jackson is like a high schooler if that was going

on i would i don't even want to say what i would do because it would be not good like it would not be good i don't know i think i would lose my mind i would lose my mind for you have to wonder what what is going on in the teacher's mind that they would hook up with a student that is so young and then you also have to wonder what is going through the child's mind because essentially i mean they were they stood they are a child well and then here's the other things i like i've thought very deeply about this but i'm like okay you have a high school student who maybe they're just starting to have sexual relationships or you know whatever let i'm being naive because i wasn't i didn't do that until i was much older than high school so um i know kids are doing it

in middle school and whatever now but let's say for the sake of conversation that they're you know just starting this journey of their life and the first person that they're hooking up with or have this sexual relationship with is a teacher an adult and an adult right um the experience level of that adult is not on the same playing field as this teenager who was just experiencing this so i could see where um then then the teenager goes off and you know tries to have because because on the show a teacher the episode that i'm on is the latest one and it's him going off to college and trying to have this sexual relationship with this other girl and it's basically just sex for him and he can't he can't get invested um at the emotional level

because he's invested with this teacher who is in jail and i feel like that probably is very common um from a psychological standpoint you know what i mean yeah and i don't really know what i'm trying to say but i just know but i completely i'm picking up what you're laying down here and i i would assume the same thing it's like um they're just so much more advanced like in yes that area that may be them being with someone on their same playing field wouldn't measure up to right and the emotions that are tied to this experienced person um 100 percent i totally get what you're saying and we've all been there you know as teenage girls um thinking the older guy is hot you know so i could also see where you know if i was in high school and i'm

18 years old and there's a fresh out of college gym coach you know or something like that like i can see how something like that happens because i do think that girls really like the idea at some point in their life of being with like the older hotter guy um i don't i can't speak for a boy because i don't i've never you know i'm not a boy so i don't know you know i've heard people say that they fantasize you know over babysitters and like you know whatever so i don't really know i just think the whole dynamic is is strange and i just think it's a line that should never be crossed and just based off of the messages that i've gotten personally in my life to my cell phone this week into my direct messages that this is more common than any of us know

i which is insane to me because i've just never heard of it or had it happen close to me so i mean i'm sure you're right but that just feels weird and then it made me also think also think which i've had this thought so many times but watching like lifetime or hallmark movies or whatever more so lifetime it's like the people that are coming up with these story lines and stuff you think oh this stuff is just so far-fetched and it's not really happening but chances are these story lines have been created because it's been a situation that has happened right like i don't think that they're far-fetched like people have people followed people have people killed people have you know these crazy weird affairs with teachers when they're like

15 years old like all of those things i think in life really do happen and i think that we want to most people's nature is to want to believe like the good in life right like not to be not to be um what is it called like a pessimist but to be like optimistic um yeah but honestly i don't know i just think like a lot of times i am worst case scenario like i think of the worst case and anything better than the worst case i consider like good right well i i like to think i'm um a realist so yeah i think maybe i'm just naive to how often it happens i don't know i i don't know why i just never really thought that it didn't happen well it doesn't happen as frequently as it does well it does so there's that um in other news are you still filming for

tain mom like what's going on in your life yes so one of my situations is making it a little bit hard because they're not allowing the child to be tested while they're over there and so when we want to film at my house when i get them back on sundays um they are not allowed to film for three days because they have to be tested for corona three times a week um you know but said child wants to film so it's just been a little bit difficult um and then also i think we are still doing hybrid filming so it's like whatever i get on my phone and then also whatever they get on camera so yes we're filming but i i did notice i did read some articles that the the ratings were pretty bad last week so that was kind of sad oh well everybody who's

listening should tune in to teen mom too for the sake of tuning in to teen mom too um facts even if you just leave it on and don't watch it exactly dvr it like something um take some for the team oh wait so back to that point that you were saying about one of your kids not being able to be tested um i wonder how often in custody cases not just that but like i've wondered this for forever if you have one person that wants the child vaccinated one person that doesn't if you have like for the covid test for example like if that's for your job how far can somebody push that um until the court ultimately makes the decision um this one is actually i guess could go to court um i'm not going to take it to court because it's one of those battles that

i'm just not willing to pick and if that means three days of not filming with said child then it just won't happen um but it just it sucks because it's a power move like it's to prove a point it's to show power it's to show control and and so i'm not gonna get upset and like give the reaction that they want right yeah i mean i don't know i've just always wondered um about the mainly vaccinations like you know if you have two different people on completely opposite ends of the playing field how is that determined who makes that decision i don't know right i don't and and do you want a judge making a decision for you like and i don't know that i for me i would not be okay with the judge making a medical decision for my child like that would not be okay with me and that's why i'm

such an advocate for mediating in situations like that because ultimately it might not be a hundred percent of the decision that you want to see but at least it's a decision that you are collectively making yes versus it being like a handed down decision from the government and honestly who knows what that would be you know like it could be very much in your favor or it could be totally against you and i think a lot of people get to the point where they're not willing to gamble with that you know like is it is it worth having the judge order on something because it it could be very much what i don't want right right right right um in other news can i tell you that over the weekend i basically just didn't use my phone for the most part of

the weekend and it was so nice i bet that's the best feeling i love actually when that happens like i really do but should we make it a thing yeah i think everyone should pick a day of the week even if it's just one day out of the week where you don't use your phone i mean definitely monday through thursday that's not realistic for me um friday through sunday is more realistic because i know that obviously i can get back to it on monday and it'll be it'll be okay but like i have written in obligations monday through thursday of every week but that's not everybody's schedule you know like somebody else's schedule might be totally different it's like okay well wednesdays works for me or right you know whatever that day may be but fridays you know we've talked

about it for the past couple of weeks i do therapy in the morning and have been using fridays is like you know if i need to do errands outside of the house or like a self-care day or just like not doing the standard work day um has been super helpful for me over the last couple of weeks and then um we always go on long walks as a family either on saturdays or sundays and so i just left my phone in the car this weekend when we did that and it was so nice just you know obviously i have my apple watch on so if there's anything that is pressing you know that somebody needs me but will brought up a good point he was like okay well if someone needs you that bad they're not going to text you and expect that you're going to respond like immediately if it's an actual urgent

in nature they'll call you and you can still answer from your apple watch right right but i wonder how common that is do people do people text out of urgency sometimes and like expect an immediate response or what is the average we'll we'll and i were having this conversation like what is the average response time on a text message before it's like not rude rude um i don't know because when i was locked out on saturday out of my office and my landlord who lives nearby um he didn't respond hold on i can tell you actually right now um i texted him at um 8 53 a.m. and then he did not respond so then i can tell you what so 853 i texted him 854 i called oh wow so you were like okay this is urgent but that was yes it was very urgent

same thing to will's point though you sent a text but then because it was urgent you called yes so because normally but on a normal basis when on a normal basis i would wait a while but he gets back pretty quickly so um it i was probably very rude by you know calling him within a minute but i just i really couldn't wait like i was locked out of my car in my office so oh so i didn't really have a choice and um i knew that he would respond whether i called or texted so i don't know that's totally something that you would do is lock yourself out of your office i'm not surprised by that in the least um i also want to say before we go that i just want to encourage everyone to if you need a self-care day to take it um i feel like this year has been a really hard

year for so many people for so many different reasons for whatever battle that you have had to face or cross this year i know it's been super hard and um i just want everyone to know that if you're listening that i love you and um yeah it's been it's been a rough and trying year but i feel like we're all gonna make it and i am so hopeful i'd we've talked about not setting new year's resolutions on the podcast because they're always broken or whatever and then i set some this year and i kind of forgot what most of them were um but i definitely feel like 2021 is the year that i should set some resolutions and stick to them because this last year i i want my 2021 to look nothing like what 2020 looked like same so much same you're like so much and for for so many reasons

that are not related to covid or just like quarantining like for so many reasons yeah i agree with you i mean just like i don't know um priorities um mental health um stability you know like whatever that may look like not not like being a stable person that's not what i mean but like like i don't really know how to say it i guess um having more of like a a schedule like obviously we can't be so scheduled that we can't be flexible because that's you know also not realistic but also having a more stable schedule that fits the lifestyle that i'm trying to live um i had posted something on my instagram the other day and i don't know if any of you guys saw it i'm going to go back and grab it right now because i felt i never related to something more in my life than this thing

that i posted and it was in my story maybe you saw it kail um i might have you're like maybe i did maybe i didn't um okay it was um the best email signature i've seen it is normal for me to take two days to read my emails and two more days to reflect on the matter and respond calmly the culture of immediacy and the constant fragmentation of time are not very compatible with the kind of life that i lead i always feel like i'm in a rush and i don't know if you feel like that it's just like a rush to do something to just get to the next day and i hate feeling like that and so and i don't know maybe if it's just like my personality type but if i see an email come through i feel their urge to like have to respond to it immediately because i feel like the person's

going to be angry or upset if i don't respond to that right away and it's something that i've really been working on the past couple of weeks too that it's okay that i'm not available at all times for everyone right yeah i mean i there's a lot to be said about that i struggle with maybe not in a rush for everything but i feel so scattered all the time like i'm there's always something that i'm supposed to be doing that i'm gonna forget and then it's like little shit like little things like right now through this whole podcast for the last hour like i wrote down things that are supposed to be done that i was supposed to do but most of the time i would leave and not and i would completely forget so it's just like i hate that feeling i feel and and feeling like

i'm not if someone needs to reach me and i'm not able to be reached at the time like even gets to me a little bit so i i get it yeah and i just think compartmentalizing things and just being like okay i'm only one person one person can only do so much making the best use of our time because i'm very much a procrastinator too on a lot of things and so making the best use of my time when i'm supposed to be using it for that specific thing i think is super important and just not getting hung up in the like rush around for life like oh well i've got to go and do this and then i've got to go and do this and then it then it's like you look up and it's like already dark outside and it's like okay well wow my whole day went by and i actually did absolutely nothing

for myself so with all of that being said um we have ran out of time for the podcast this week so if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on instagram make sure you follow us over there and make sure you subscribe to us on the podcast app for itunes i hope none of your titties are hanging out and i hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see ya