Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 148: Recent Watches, Mental Health & Cancelling Cancel Culture

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

This week Kail is joined by Kristen while Lindsie is dealing with a personal matter. Kail and Kristen start off with some life updates, including what they have been watching lately. Kristen fills Kail in on the recent Harry and Meghan interview, and the two discuss their own thoughts on the situation. Plus as two big advocates for therapy, Kail and Kristen talk about some of their frustrations with how other people talk about mental health. And cancel culture is basically unavoidable these days. Listeners want to know if Kail and Kristen think there is any way to stop the unforgiving trend. This episode was sponsored by: Proactive, Stitch Fix, Caviar, & Function of Beauty Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

All right you guys welcome to another episode of coffee combos podcast I know this is long-awaited it's been a week since the last episode but Lindsay is not here with us today and Kristen to the motherfucking rescue because she is recording this lovely episode with me today on such short notice so thank you Kristen you're so welcome always here to you know jump in and save the day honestly okay same so much same so much same I Lindsay is having a life event occurring and she wishes she could be here but we will catch up with her next week and we will do that in person and on a recording because we're getting together

in Philly again last minute to record a special episode of coffee combos next week which Kristen will also be in attendance of so that'll be really nice I love my behind-the-scenes view of the whole coffee combos saga it's great I love it well it's funny because everyone knows who you are but we really don't even have pictures together and we don't really like we post your Instagram thing and we talk about you all the time but like nobody there's no face to the name I feel like so we definitely need to do that next week when we're all together I like to remain in hiding I don't like people to find me

I don't want them to know what I look like I'm just like there but not like Batman you never see his face right like you know he's there but you never see him yeah it's great totally understandable there's like so much to catch up on so where do you want to start I feel like there's so much to cover how about what is going on with your house build okay so house build news I paid my land in full so that's done and right now I guess like the county where I live is just like being a pain in the ass and like taking their time on permits and like I know one friend that I talked to she's building a house as

well and her permit took three months to get so we're just right now just waiting for the permits to come back from the county approving the you know I guess approving the build in order to start and then I know we're staking out where the house is because we had Kevin is my builder and he had put stakes out already like where we were gonna maybe put the house and I think we're just gonna slightly turn it so it's not gonna be those exact orange stakes that I had taken videos of before which is fine and he said that even though we have not gotten the permits back yet it does not change our end time so as long as there

are no other delays outside of the permit then we should be good to rock and roll and we should still be on schedule to finish and I'm told right now on March 10th that we are we should be I think that Thanksgiving is a very realistic time frame for me to be in the house I would love to host Thanksgiving in my new home so that's where we're at and actually there's a ton of other exciting stuff going on but I don't know how much I'm allowed to say I'm so excited about your house I think it's been such a long time coming for you to build so I'm really excited to follow the progress and just to have you get in

there and just love it I can't wait for the kids to see it and their reactions because have they really gotten to see like your design plans or not really no I haven't really showed them anything I took I took them to the land that we are building on and they immediately started playing in the dirt which was absolutely amazing and I wish that we were filming for that moment because I just felt like it was so like like just genuine and just what is the word I'm looking for just like so like innocent and just cute that they started playing in the dirt and like Isaac started writing his name in the dirt and I was

like this is the cutest thing but the good news is that so even though MTV's film filming some of the home-build stuff as you guys know I get two minutes or less on every episode of Teen Mom so I didn't know how much would be actually shown and I think that my followers really love to follow like home design and home-build stuff so Kristen and I actually found somebody I've worked with before who's gonna come out and help me film the entire process from start to finish and kind of get behind the scenes stuff if there's any delays major installation days they're gonna come film it separate from Teen Mom and it's

really just gonna go on like Instagram and YouTube and stuff like that so I'm super super super excited to do that because I feel like that's like another unedited unplanned like unfiltered version unfiltered version of me exactly so I'm really excited for that and Kristen has been kind of helping with that and some other collaborations and partnerships that we're gonna be working on that are kind of going hand-in-hand with the build is gonna be really cool to do and then you have something fun coming so soon that I'm so excited for to come out so everyone should definitely keep an eye out on your

Instagram for yes follow me at kailauri on Instagram because I definitely have some cool stuff coming but yeah what's new with you what are you watching on Netflix what are some things that that are going on just in general I guess like current events I know we can talk about some Netflix stuff I started a new show and then I started a new season of an older show what are you watching what have you watched tell me all the tea so typically I've been watching every single day I turn on Gilmore girls in the background really yeah why is that something I don't know about you I used to be obsessed with it I've seen that

show start to finish probably I'm not even joking at least 10 times it's just like a good show to like have on the background you don't have to pay attention to what's happening so like I can get my work done but also there's TV on but like I tried to good do criminal minds from the beginning during work hours and then I found myself getting way too invested in the episode so I was like wait this is not background TV this is I have to pay attention so we right we went back to Gilmore girls I feel like if you watch criminal minds in the background you're you it's a second part-time job because you're invested

and you're you're buffering up your you know crime-solving skills I feel like that's there's no way to have that on in the background really important details yes and like I had already seen it from start to finish countless of times and I was like well I don't think I need to pay attention and you know low and behold I did have to so I went back to just like crap TV that doesn't bother me to have on in the background and then I can get my work done but okay while we're on this like health kind of topic conversation skincare is also just as important and we are using proactive I have used this in the past

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subscribe to consistently clear-skinned today um the latest thing that I watched was definitely the Megan and Harry interview on Sunday oh my gosh I did not watch it but I've heard a lot about it and obviously like everyone's talking about it it's everywhere and I just I I have to commit to watching TV so that's like something I don't do anymore and I have when I do I have to commit to it like I have to like basically set a date with myself to do it and so the bits and pieces that I have heard about it are that the things that I've heard about it were essentially that actually I'm gonna

let you tell me about it because I didn't watch it so I'm gonna need you to tell me what's going on so essentially you well you know who Megan and Harry are I'm assuming like history you know royal family whatever so they got married and she started getting half black yeah and then that was like a that's a big deal for like the royal family it was like not a not okay yeah because they don't have any mixed race people like representation in the royal family at all and during the interview they actually brought up the point that they thought it would be good to have her in like a position like that because the

Commonwealth that they represent I believe they said is over 50% or 70% mixed race so to think that there's you know a huge like white supremacist situation going on within the royal family where there's not even the Commonwealth that they represent is not actually represented there's no one like them that are in the whole institution so they were the Megan and Harry were actually saying like they thought it was going to be a good thing to like have that representation there and it ended up just not that something that was interesting to me is just like the takeaway from the whole situation where

there's so many people who are like on Megan's side and then there's so many people that are against her so it's very how can you be against her what is there to be against I don't understand that like a lot of people think that she's lying and it's lying about what so in the interview a couple of the major takeaways would be that she was struggling very very bad with her mental health because of all the tabloid stuff that was going around about her and everything was so negative and she was struggling really really bad to the point where she literally said I was suicidal I had active suicidal thoughts

I was going to act on them I went and I asked for help I asked to be you know essentially checked into an institution and I was told no so yeah like the institution so which is essentially everyone in the family plus some different like senior advisors and things like that so to hear that but then if you're someone who follows the royal family Kate William and Harry all got together not that long ago and they do things for this campaign called like bell let's talk I think it's like mental health awareness and things like that and they all got involved in that but yet here's someone in your family who's

saying the like I am struggling I'm scared and I need help and you're telling them no was insane to me that was absolutely shocking but there's just as many people who are like oh wow like I sympathize sympathize with her there's also a lot of people saying she's lying like you know there's no way that would have happened or there's no way shit I don't agree I don't agree that either I don't even though I didn't watch it I don't think I have to watch it to know that I don't agree that people there's no way because this is the same family who is making comments about how dark her child is going to be and not

having any type of diversity in the entire family and essentially removing from what I've heard Harry from having security yes they like essentially took away his security and wouldn't give them security and so I believe I heard that Tyler Perry was like you can come live with me and then they stayed for three months and then until they figured you know some things out and got deals to make money on their own and they were completely cut off financially am I wrong yeah so they were completely cut off financially and so these people you mean to tell me that people are saying after they know these things that she's

also lying about the her mental health and the thoughts that she was having it's interesting to me right so like people who are following this would have probably in my opinion also followed probably sit back since you know Princess Diana was around so they're very familiar with what occurred with her and you know she was very open about her mental health struggles because of being in the monarchy and now you're turning around and saying that oh it's it's such a shock and it's not believable that someone else experienced the same thing so it's just very interesting to me the way that people are perceiving things from the

whole interview I personally don't I don't think that she's lying you could have the most perfect life and we know this we're going to therapy right like you could have the most perfect life and still be depressed and still have suicidal thoughts and sometimes you can't control it you could be depressed you could be whatever is going on just because your royalty quote unquote doesn't mean that you're not susceptible to having the same suicidal thoughts as anybody else but I think for them for them to have to say that someone in the royal family or someone married into the royal family having

those types of thoughts would probably you know in their minds that's that's not a good look for them because they're royal and they're perfect and they have you know they check up all the boxes and so for them that's not a good I would imagine you know what I mean like oh definitely say that so I just it's so hard to and it reminds me just like of just like you said Princess Diana but also like the Britney Spears thing like how much I don't mean to stutter the how much media attention and negative press does it take for someone before they lose their mind like how much can one person take I it's hard to wrap your mind around

I certainly don't think she's she's no and I you know I think that something that Harry had said was even he was embarrassed or ashamed I'm not sure which word he used so don't quote me on that but he was you know even having to say that she was having these issues he felt a certain type of way so I'm sure that the royal family in general was like oh this is not a good look but at the same time then don't preach about mental health awareness when somebody needs it and your family and you're not willing to help them and you flat out tell them no right um especially knowing like everything they were well aware what

was going on in the tabloids right so that was another topic that was discussed during the interview was that Megan kind of came in and she was told by the you know monarchy that they were gonna protect her and whatever whatever so she stopped she said she stopped paying attention to what was going on in the tabloids but she still has friends and family at home that are seeing all of the news articles that are coming out and you know she's being torn apart for her race for you know her looks for her acting jobs all these things she's being torn apart for and there's no comment being made from the monarchy

at all from their PR team nothing so like her friends and family would call her and they're like hey like they're actually not helping you they're not protecting you at all these are the things that are being said so as much as she tried to shield herself from looking like she still had people calling her which I feel like you can relate to because you do the same thing you try not to pay attention but yet there's definitely people who will send you these things and it still affects you just as much absolutely and I think to your point even though you know they I don't think that they're ill-intended

when they send them I don't think that that's I don't think that's ever like oh like let's hurt Kale's feelings today even though she's you know what I mean so people just don't realize the the amount of weight that those things carry and it's interesting because I was recording for baby mama's yesterday and that was something that or the other day and that was something that V had said she said you know when when someone comments something negative on her post or something like that she just gets block happy and she doesn't want that type of energy because energy travels and I think just reading those things

even if it doesn't hurt you right away it does manifest like what you think is what you are kind of thing right and so when you're constantly reading negative things about you you start to wonder am I that like our is that true like is is what I thought I was a lie you know they mean so I come I completely understand that like playing mind games and basically on yourself and that's yeah not fun so that was definitely something she touched on that you know she was basically told she was gonna be protected and then nobody was standing up for her even when situations would occur that were a blatant lie or something

turned like a situation that actually happened but it was fun to look like she was the villain it wasn't being rectified it wasn't there was nothing being like submitted to the art like the company that wrote the article saying like hey this is actually what happened like nothing was corrected they just let the narrative play out itself and it's really really unfortunate that it went that way and I will say like good on Harry for hearing his wife supporting his wife and when she couldn't get the help she needed from where they were he said okay we're moving like we're not doing this anymore and took her out of that

environment so there was an shocking good I think there was somebody had told me that like Harry has been pretty open about wanting to learn about just like kind of everything and then like really tapping into the racism and like what Megan is probably experiencing and just all of that and so I that's amazing that he's actually sticking up for her and defending her and willing to learn and willing to kind of go through all of those things so I don't know it's crazy I'm definitely want to I definitely want to watch it I just yeah haven't had a chance no yeah I definitely would recommend it it was

definitely enlightening and like just to see we see like the tabloids right we all see the headlines of yeah going on and Megan's this and Megan's that and Meg's it is what they were calling it when they moved and all these things and you finally get to hear you know their side of it and it's definitely sad but at the end of the day they seem like they're really really happy with their decision and thriving you know they did touch on the fact that like obviously relationships within the family are not the same but at some sometimes you got to cut people off yeah we know that we know that for sure yeah but I definitely

recommend it so that's that was the latest thing I watch what have you been watching um so I I watch all American that's something that I binge watch while I was pregnant it was seasons one and two that were on Netflix I think they came back for season three so I just I watch it whenever I can it it comes out on Monday nights but I just I have again it's Wednesday and I haven't I haven't watched the latest episode yet but I will probably by at least by next week and then I also have been trying to watch behind her eyes on Netflix it's I have never heard of the actors that play in it but I had seen it on Instagram and

it's definitely it's one of those shows where I'm just not sure how I feel about it yet right I think the storyline and the concept is really good so far I'm on episode three or four but it's very slow and kind of anti-climactic but I can't stop watching it so I definitely it's just one of those things where I think the con that concept was really good but I'm not sure if the execution is there right I heard about it I feel like I heard about it on TikTok or maybe Instagram or something but I have not I'm also in the same boat as you I haven't really like sat down to watch TV in a while literally the Meghan and

Harry interview on Sunday was the first thing that I planned out to watch other than that it's like I put something on for you to sleep so I don't watch TV at night I really when the kids go to bed I do not have anything left in me to give I mean I just don't I do not have it in me are you have kids oh I heard I have four listen but yeah so that's that's all American for me and then behind her eyes when I can I would like to finish it I mean my birthday is on Sunday so I would like to just have some kale time all weekend that would be really really amazing I don't even want anything special just like relax take a nap if I

want without having to like plan it out I don't know I don't these are the things that they didn't tell me about motherhood was like I just it's not a thing like it's just not I don't even think that that's just motherhood because literally I was just thinking this like as we get older the less I want a big thing for my birthday and I'm like can I just sleep can I take off work for three days and just like now because literally or like I don't know garden or clean like all the adult things that no one tells you about that you like have to prioritize over like TV and partying and you don't have the energy anymore and

it's I just like I don't want to do like I don't want to go let me not say I don't want to go socialize because I do I want to have adult time but I want it to be like okay this is the start time and this is the end you know what I mean like I don't I don't want to have like there was a period of time where like when my kids went to their dads I wanted all my friends to come over and they could stay until two in the morning and really we would just be like talking and bullshitting and you know just shooting the shit but I don't want that anymore I want to go to bed early but tonight I'm actually gonna go get dinner with my

friend Natalie and my friend Emily so that'll be really nice to just like catch up with girls Emily also has four kids and then Natalie as you guys know has my friend Keith and then her son Caden who's 16 so just like a cute little mom dinner I feel like we always get together and we have the kids so and even though Caden's practically an adult he's usually with us but I just like to have like girl time and I feel bad because like Natalie also helps me with my kids so I don't I haven't had a chance to like catch up with her on like a friend level you know what I mean like yeah we talk and stuff but like I want

her to be my friend tonight you know right no I I mean I get that I it's interesting because people actually I saw people asking how basically you manage friendships and working relationships when you tend to work higher friends yeah so I think that is definitely something that when you have those hard lines it's like hey I miss friend time yeah no I definitely have like I it's crazy because I I had a really crazy day yesterday and it was just like honestly March has been more emotional highs and lows for me this month then actually I would say this entire year and we're only in March then

in a really long time and so but it's crazy because I walked in yesterday and I had such like a weird crazy day and I said to Natalie I said just so you know I said I when I'm in the car and I'm by myself and I'm going through like the motions every day like I think whatever higher power is out there like I think them every day for you because if it wasn't for you if it wasn't for Kristen nothing in my life would get done nothing I would never ever ever ever be where I am so I just I had to tell her that because I feel like when I get home I like unload about my day blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and then she

leaves right I don't get it like I'm not even like I don't know what's going on with her I don't know what she does did over the weekend and it's just like unpack and be done and I just I don't know I need to and I'm that's why I'm looking forward to this weekend with you because I haven't seen you and not gone over like work stuff so I'm just excited I feel like we need tonight will be for Natalie this weekend will be me and you and then next week we'll be back to the ground and working and doing all of that so I don't know what people don't know about you is that you are constantly on the grind so it's like even when we're

trying to have friend time and not talk about work nine out of ten times the conversation is going to lead back to work because your mind's always going with like business well everything is a business idea to me yeah I'm like wait a minute and I'll get like really weird like if it feels quiet and too calm for a little while I'm like but wait a minute what about this yeah you're like let me just stir it up yeah like let me just throw this at her and see what she's thinking okay as you guys know online shopping can be super daunting and you never know

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first order with promo code coffee combos no space download the caviar app and use code coffee combos for 20% off your first order but speaking of not work related things actually tomorrow I have a scheduled 90-minute session with my therapist and I feel like I needed it so much like I was trying to get with her on Monday she was trying to make time for me but I was like let's just keep Thursday and then she was said that she had extra time so I'm gonna do a longer session tomorrow just to unload yeah especially with everything you've got going on right now I think therapy is so important I I

don't even remember what things were like before I started therapy yeah like what because sometimes for our listeners who don't know Kristen started therapy a little bit after I did and I was just like constantly like convincing her that she needed to go and probably not that was probably not healthy of me but I was just like you should go and I would just be a dead horse and I really wonder what I would do without my therapist I mean I I luckily had an okay time she was out for medical leave for a few weeks and I I think I've managed to do okay but I definitely was like at the point where she when she was ready

to come back I was like okay I'm ready to book like I don't get I can go on sessions in a row yeah sorry about that no it's hard it literally it's so funny because yesterday like I was I have my therapy every Tuesday is right like I've had a standing appointment this whole time and yesterday um there was like the Peloton delivery was late and it came in right first was start start therapy and I had to cancel and now I'm like okay I had so much to talk about therapy on Tuesday now I'm missing that and it's like you I don't know I just feel like oh like that's the one thing I'm so committed to ever since I started was

therapy so when I miss I must feel guilty and it's not fun it's just not yeah it's crazy how much and I almost wish I could go to a therapist like multiple times a week but I feel like they would would not be able to car compartment compartmentalize anymore they would be like Kale's bullshit is now my life yeah um but yeah actually speaking of therapy I have home a homework assignment so one of the things that I really wanted to work on and I I don't know if I've ever really touched on it on the podcast but I have a really hard time I'm sure I have I have a really hard time with being content and satisfied in where I'm at

if nothing is happening so if I don't have a lot going on or you know the trucks is one thing like I said I wasn't gonna get a new truck and then I turned around and got a new truck right like I have this problem with not and I'm not competing with anyone but I have a problem with like I always want more like what's the next thing I can do and it's not it's not always materialistic right like it's it's just things in general right but you know house car like the materialistic side I would like to suppress a little bit like I think in the work aspect and on the work front I definitely think that that's a

good mentality to have is like what's next what's you know how can I do better what can I do more of what can I do less of I think that's fine but on the materialistic end of it I want to not do that anymore just because it just doesn't matter like I'm not gonna go to the grave with these things they don't like my car is not gonna you know they depreciate so one of my homework assignments is we went over last week in therapy you have to learn to be content with what you have and what do you what my I literally have it right on my white boredom in front of my face it says what do I have that's a value to me right

now right so I have to and I've been thinking about it all week and I just I want to know other people's thoughts like are other people are they the same way or are they not the same way and I'm not this is not on a money front right like this could apply to people in different ways and I'm just wondering if other if other people struggle with this too do you Kristen um I I don't I used to I want to say when I was like younger and I had I was so used to like chaos right and always had a lot going on even when we first started working together like years ago I was so used to there was always so much going on in

your life so many things to handle whatever that I like didn't appreciate when the periods were calm and I swear as I get older I'm like when I appreciate the calm when it comes to material things I definitely cared when I was younger more about material things than I do now because I just don't have the capacity to think about the material things my work my home life my husband like my all that stuff I just don't have it um but I definitely didn't when I was younger I was always like I need the neck like the newest purse like Michael Kors when Michael Kors was huge needed it needed a watch needed this needed that

like oh if I could just get you know two pairs of uggs for myself I'll be so happy and it's like what the hell for like right right exactly that's kind of how I feel it's like I don't know I just I think if I worried less about it and it's like I said it's weird because it's not like nobody else that I know that I'm friends with drives a suburb you know what I mean like it's not like I'm competing because they have something better than me it's never it's never about that and so I'm wondering if there's some type of like childhood thing that I mean not playing therapist but playing therapist like to do together but like right to me

like obviously you did not have a lot growing up right so I right there like I did not have that same experience so I didn't really start caring about things until I started paying for my own things right because I had everything like I had my family and my family like I had clothes I had shoes I got a car when I was 16 like I had all those things so I never I didn't want for anything where you like did not have that same experience so now that you're able to do those things for yourself I just do it you right and I think it's kind of like you're doing the things that you wish you could have done had when you were

younger and it's not like my last truck was broken right and like I remember saying on the podcast like I'm not gonna get a truck a new truck like I'm just gonna ride this one till the wheels fall off and like and then I didn't it was just like I got a wild hair up my ass and I was like let's go get a new truck and I don't know why I'm like this but I'm I am working on it and so that's one of the assignments that I have to go over tomorrow so I'm super just like that wanting to yeah I just it's one of those things where I don't understand it so I can't really fix it yet but I definitely want to yeah you're like kind of delving

into the why and then you're gonna get to fixing it no I like that I okay I think that's a lot of people had asked to about therapy right so people I don't think understand and I definitely did it until hearing from you about it people think that therapy is you just sit somewhere for 45 minutes to an hour and you talk and that's it and it's like no you have actual homework like you have assignments otherwise there's I mean I'm sure that some people benefit from just the talking aspect because they don't have maybe anyone in their life to talk to but to really fix things about yourself like you have work to do and I don't

think people see that or understand that or have any clue about that I to your point I get frustrated because I I know somebody who's going and they I know just based on how they interact with me and what they tell me there is no way in hell they're doing the work and actually like digging deep into it they're just going to say that they go and that's really frustrating because you're right I mean I've had this question in front of me all week since my appointment and you really have to be honest with yourself and say things that you and I've said it a hundred times you have to be honest and say admit things that you

don't want you don't want to it's ugly it's not cute it's not I mean your therapist is someone that you confide in and if that means that you're blatantly honest with your therapist and only your therapist that's okay and that's a that's a start I feel like a lot of people don't want to be honest you know like they definitely they still want to be in denial and and the one thing that I've learned is like I hate when I do it now just because I've been in therapy for so long it's like when you say and I I still am guilty of doing this so don't don't take this as like I don't do it I'm holier than that because that's not

what I mean but like I have a really tumultuous relationship with someone and not like a romantic relationship just in general one of those things where it's like I'm gonna take accountability so it's like I'm really sorry that I did this like explaining yourself but no there's no but like there's no but there's no but just take a fucking accountability live in it sit with those feelings and then let them go you know what I mean like there's no and that's one thing I can't stand with these people that are supposedly in therapy that I have to react that I have to interact with is like you're not we're not doing

this like I can't yeah you have to be fully ready for it and I don't like the I don't like when we're committing to it and you're not actually like doing the work part of it right it's like okay if you basically are just going to talk therapy because you need someone to talk to say that but don't be like oh I'm in there in there guys there's a huge difference yeah my opinion and if like you're not gonna go in and do the work it's not you're not gonna nothing's gonna change maybe you might look good like you could fake it maybe to your therapist if you're not gonna be honest but everyone in your real life's gonna be like

wow like her therapist is not great yeah that's also a good point I'm yeah that's a really good point but I think a lot of people just have issues with accountability because I just think we're just not really taught to take accountability like we should be from a young age I think it's like where everyone is so afraid of failure and like anything that could be construed as failing messing up anything it's like just take accountability be like I'm sorry I did X and leave it at that to your point though I will say it's hard like for for I'm not gonna say it's harder it's weird for me when I if I do

something that's like on the show or on the podcast or on Instagram it's like and I do something and then I apologize and I'm genuinely taking accountability for something and it's not good enough right so that's how countless times over the years literally maybe just a little bit no that it's and it's frustrating even from just like a friend aspect on the outside because seeing people tear you apart for things that you have 100% learned from apologize for are learning about growing from and it's still not good enough is so frustrating because it's one of those situations where it's like what would

you like her to do like sell her firstborn child like what tell me what you wanted to do and yeah we'll figure it out because it does something to you and I can see that from the outside it does something to you when you are taking accountability learning from your mistakes genuinely apologizing and it's still not working that you it sends you into like a spiral sometimes and that's sad because you are putting the work in so that's really frustrating so we've all got goals in 2021 school career diet exercise pretty much everything that we've covered in this episode but have you thought about your hair goals for

the year for me I just feel like I want healthier stronger hair just to stay through heat and pretty much everything that I put it through so real talk if you don't love your hair then you need to leave your current hair care products back in 2020 and try function of beauty instead function of beauty is the world leader in customizable beauty offering precise formulations for your hair specific needs everyone's hair is different we know this we see it all over Instagram we see it on our friends on ourselves our hair is just all very different and if you're anything like me my hair texture and everything about my

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can customize your entire beauty routine from hair to toe never buy off the shelf just to be disappointed ever again go to function of beauty comm slash combos take your quiz and save 20% on your first order this applies to their full range of customized hair skin and body products go to function of beauty comm slash combos to let them know that you heard about it from our show and get yourself 20% off of your order function of beauty comm slash combos that brings me to a point I had posted something on my Instagram about what people wanted to hear us talk about today and one of those things was how do we cancel cancel

culture and I feel like because I've been I have I feel like I've been canceled people want to cancel me and you know it sucks because I don't know if cancel culture will ever go away I don't think so either unless social media were to die tomorrow that's when cancel culture I think personally will die when social media dies which is probably never oh it's just gonna get worse from here I feel like I am yeah I read something yesterday and I reposted it and I'm just trying to find I'm trying to get back to it and it's it was something along the lines of you know celebrities and people in the public eye

are also human beings and make mistakes but some somehow some way we hold them to like a higher standard standard we put them on a pedestal where we expect them to make no mistakes and do anything wrong and so when they do do something wrong we cancel them immediately well yeah because it's like we you do put them on pedestals and you basically ideal like idealize I think the word is these people and you're like okay they they don't do anything wrong that's why I like I'm looking at them in this light and then they mess up and you're just like well damn like I don't it just does something to people I think

and their instant reaction anymore is this canceling thing but the thing that I see that's very interesting with the cancel culture is I almost feel like the people who you know actively comment and try to cancel people in your case are a specific group of people right so it's like did you guys just find a common thing and you don't have common interests or anything with people in your real life so you found people on social media to essentially like fill a void of not having it in your personal life so now you feel part of something like okay now I'm part of canceling this person like oh I'm with the group I'm in the

in-crowd like it's just very interesting to me to see the way that it works it's so messed up in my opinion in certain situations because there's absolutely no room for growth everyone wants to preach growth and accountability but there's no room for it because even when people are like I'm learning I'm doing the things to make this better and learn from my mistake I'm still not able to come back from it because of people so what but why what is the purpose of it I don't like you want us to be accountable and apologize and and but but also be authentic and real but then when we're trying to learn about something that

we're willing to learn about and make those necessary steps and changes it's like it's not good enough and then we I don't know like it's so weird I wish I'm trying so hard to find right now the posts that I liked it I actually saw it on Lindsay's Instagram story and I I clicked on it and I fuck I clicked on it I reposted it and then I'm just trying to find it was a really long post and I said read all three slides because it was so good but I guess you can't see like comments or you can't see posts that you commented on post that you've liked right and it's a very weird thing the whole cancel culture in

general because it's like I think that there's people who are just genuinely looking to cancel someone all the time like people who actively do this on a daily basis like digging for information to cancel someone and it's I don't know it's just really weird to me yeah I don't know what the purpose is at all I guess I won't be able to find it I know it was on it was like in honor of National Women's Day it was something along those lines if you guys know what post I'm talking about I wish I don't know why but like when I go to my stories like you know how you can look at like older stories it never like the ones

that I look for never show up oh so I'm not entirely sure like content you've shared like I don't know I'm unsure can't be sure yeah so moving on I am gonna pick up Lux after this and then I'm gonna go home and shower I went to the gym earlier and I still haven't showered so I'm gonna need you to not I'm gonna need you to not judge me there's never any judgment darling how it has the gym been going since you got back to it it's been going I it's really hard because I feel like even though I've it's been about a month since I started back but it's been two weeks of not skipping days besides obviously like one or two rest days and I

feel like there's no progress you know and I that's one of the harder things to sit with is like going and dedicating and committing to it and then not seeing the progress that I thought I would see I I haven't given up which is honestly that's like a huge step because I get what you mean like you want instant gratification it's like literally what we have now is you have things at your fingertips and I think it just kind of translates over to different aspects of our lives so you just like yeah expect like I'm putting X amount of effort in I'm expecting X amount of results back and it's just not that way and I don't

know if it's like I just feel like it was so much easier when we were younger like I really do to like we could like it we could do something for three days and see a difference and it's like not that way now so I don't know if that's part of it but I'm really really proud of you that you went back and you're committed and you inspire me on the gym front I just got on the Peloton for the first time last night I'm definitely well yeah I got my I think our Peloton's delivered at the same time I also got one and I have not gotten on it yet so kudos to you because I have not gotten online yet but I'm not going to the gym

tomorrow so my plan was to ride my Peloton so I'm looking forward to that but it's it's a real commitment it's just like I get frustrated with my own self because it's like how many times am I going to commit and break up commit and break up commit and break up how many times am I gonna go through this because I'm not seeing results and I mean there was a point where I was going to the gym and like killing myself in workouts and like it was a really good workout but the the the mental drain that it had on me because they were so intense was not for me so I will say that this time around I'm doing things a

little bit differently where like I don't dread my workouts on a regular basis because I'm doing like lifting weights and cardio in a different way where it's not so super super intense right so I don't have that mental like oh fuck I have a workout it's just like hey where can I fit in even 30 or 45 minutes of just like with lifting weights for a little bit so I don't have that like mental like drag in my yes because yeah so I will say that's not it's never good it's never gonna end well no and I literally feel the same way because when I got on the Peloton for that you know I was working out literally for like six

weeks straight and I was so committed not seeing the results I wanted felt like death every time I got done working out whatever and like I got on the Peloton last night and I only did 20-minute beginners workout because I had no idea what I was doing that bike is so high-tech that I feel dumb like I probably feel like our parents felt when we got instant messenger so I got on the bike and I was like I'm just gonna do this 20-minute workout and I was like it was challenging for me but like I felt good when I was done I didn't go through two hours of feeling like I'm choking down vomit here because I feel like I'm

gonna die and then get to the feeling good part so I was like able to still do things after I got done working out and it wasn't just like done and dead yeah I definitely totally I hear you on that one I it's so hard cuz I feel like when did it get that like when did we really commit to this shit like good to go in the gym and like weight loss and stuff I I don't know I it's like I feel like my the majority of my 20s have been a blur and like you obviously have kids so I could understand why yours is I don't know why mine's like that but I just feel like I blinked and all of a sudden I need to work out so um it's not something I

you know signed up for I feel like weight was never really an issue for me when I was younger and here we are so yeah I I definitely didn't think it would ever be that I didn't think that I would get to a point where my weight would fluctuate at a high point and then like sit there because my weight has always like fluctuated like pretty drastically my whole life like if I wasn't going to the gym and being active like I was gaining weight and like now I feel like I'm not the highest weight I've been and it's just stuck here it's not fluctuating back down right that's literally the same thing for me

to and like they say like obviously stress plays a role and all kinds of other stuff plays a role and you know you have you know situations going on that you'll get into later but I just think this is not something that we're ever taught in school right we're taught like if you basically don't sit on your ass and don't eat like crap all the time you'll be fine but that's not always the case at all yeah it's not that's actually a very unhealthy image to paint for someone because I think we all started better habits at a younger age it yes would help yes I 1000% agree with that I I watched a tiktok or something the

other day and it was like when genetically fit or thin people give fitness advice all the time it's like please stop right because there's a thing like you could be genetically overweight so but I definitely I definitely think that the hat I mean you can start the habits at any time but it is hard when you're not when you're not you know accustomed to them from when you're young I definitely think it plays in a it plays a role in your adult life I even just like the time aspect right like nobody prepares you from that time period and obviously like you did not have this experience in the

same way because you had kids so you've been an adult since you were 16 but actually probably younger because of the situation you grew up in where with me yes I always you know was very mature for my age and got a job and did all those things in high school and then went to college but like no one prepares you for the shift into like full adulthood full work mode getting a house like all these things that like all are responsibilities and we're all striving for these things right like the they say the American dream is like the the house the white pick a fence and 2.5 kids which bullshit by the way right but it's

like that's what they say so like we all strive for that awesome whatever then you get it and you're like I don't know what the hell to do I don't know how to fit in all the things that have to get done in the small amount of hours I have per day and then people want to know why people don't sleep and why why do you have issues sleeping Walt because I'm giving up sleep to take care of the crap that I take care of in between working and everything else it's like right there's just not enough hours so I and then that put stress on you and they say stress leads to weight gain so it's like there's no winning I don't

think there's winning at all I literally said to Natalie yesterday when I got home I was like how did we ever like how does anyone ever get anything done with all the shit that we have to get done right I literally tell my mom probably on a weekly basis and obviously you know my mom I'm like mom I didn't sign up for this so like I'm gonna see you because I did not sign up for adulthood and having to worry about you know obviously working and taking care of a house and then the energy you're supposed to spend all this time putting into your marriage and having a successful marriage and whatever and

then weight loss and pets and just we all just sue our parents I I mean I'm doubting for a huge class action I mean because at this point it's just sorry Debbie I don't even I didn't sign up for this shit and I also you're not here to help kind of thing right you brought me into this world now help me get the fuck through it your situation yes I fully agree but like my mom's here she like we live together so I'm just like mom like I don't I don't understand like I really don't and I think it's just only gonna get better like once I throw kids into the mix but at least you're experienced on that front so listen I

don't even know Susie if you're listening to this how dare you how fucking dare you you're getting sued you're getting yes Susie is getting sued she's gonna see headlines tomorrow like Kale Lowry is suing her mother and she's gonna see it and be like I mean I don't know if she has like Google or anything but she does I think everyone has Google but if someone tells her like your daughter said she's suing you yeah you're getting sued for birthing sorry real sorry in advance and I'm suing you on behalf of all my children who also will have to do adulthood at some point right you know I don't know how you do it but like I

swear that I wish in school they taught you more about adulthood and less about things like geometry it's so frustrating I watch I'm on I think it's called teacher talk or tiktok teacher okay yeah I'm on jail talk too and it's honestly amazing but we won't go we won't get into that today um I actually dm'd an inmate I know this is insane and I can't believe I'm admitting to this podcast what I dm'd did I talk about this I hope not I dm'd an inmate who has 12 million views on tiktok from like a little trend that he did and he dm'd me back so I would love to have him on the podcast so if you guys want to hear from

him let me know because I will get him on the podcast he's being released next year but I think I can request an interview with him like now so if you guys want to hear from him from jail talk let me know in the comments in on my dm's whatever but you would be the jail talk plug um you were saying hello oh I went on mute I said you would be the jail talk plug definitely the jail talk plug um what I was talking about we were talking about how we're not we don't get prepared for adulthood in school right well I was on so I was on teacher talk and that was one of the people that I follow was saying how

like he doesn't give quizzes or like tests and stuff because he doesn't feel like anyone in the adult world at a job wouldn't have access to information like they would be able to look up an answer if they don't know it right like if you hire an attorney who you know you have a unique case they're able to go look at the law they're able to go look at books and texts and other things you know what I mean in similar cases or how other things turned out if your case is something that they've you know maybe seen something like or you know what I mean and so um I I don't know that I feel like whatever happened to home act

like I took one year I think I was in like sixth grade and I feel like it taught me like actual skills and then I took a class I want to say 11th or 12th grade it was statistics and financing and it was like it was hard don't get me wrong but it was real shit like it was stuff that you know I was gonna need on a regular basis and I feel like a lot of the information that we get at school is just like not like I don't really care about my son doing explaining how I mean we don't have to get into it but like I remember have you guys heard of lattice like doing the box way of math it's like a box and then you draw like

lines down it and then you do multiplication that way no I've never heard of this is it new is a part of no it's no I think it was probably new whenever I was in elementary school but just like shit like that that I'm like what is the like why can't we learn real shit that we're gonna be able to apply every day right the government doesn't want that from us like let's let's learn about 401ks and retirement let's do that I mean I'm just now learning so math I'm try it's not lattice yes it is lattice it is lattice multiplication I just don't understand I feel like we need to do more life skills and life hacks and did

you ever look into like homeschooling yeah I mean it's definitely something that would be really cool I I if I could do like the homeschool groups and things like right it's like truly you know the things that they learn in school plus some that's what I was wondering so like with homeschooling do you get to pick what your kids learn like can you teach them about adulthood or is that not what homeschooling is I think in some ways yes like you have some flexibility and I think there is like a curriculum or some type of curriculum that they have to follow and then you do also have flexibility and so I think that's kind

of cool but there was there's no way that my kids dads would ever get on board and honestly I don't know that I'm the right person to do homeschooling I feel like if I had someone that could come and like teach them more than I could it would be right definitely a good option yeah I have heard it's a huge commitment and you really can't I mean I don't know if people can actually work like a full-time job and actually homeschool their kids I don't even know how that would work I don't know if any of our listeners homeschool or know someone that homeschools we would love to be educated on this and learn about

this topic so no judgment and you know I'm so interested but just like out of curiosity and just being able to like learn something about that that would be really cool if you guys could tell us about homeschool DM us whatever but actually I think that's all the time that we have for this week's episode and Lindsay if you're listening we missed you but thank you so much Kristen for being my co-host on this episode of coffee combos podcast and if you guys haven't already done it follow us on Instagram at coffee combos podcast and you can download and subscribe on iTunes Spotify or your favorite podcast app you can

also leave us written reviews on iTunes we love to hear your feedback so thank you guys and we will talk to you next week