Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 163: Supporting Each Other, Our Middle School Trends, and Behind Closed Doors

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

With the launch of Lindsie's second podcast this week Kail and Lindsie discuss showing friends and peers support for their projects. There is room for everyone to succeed, and it's so much easier to show love than tearing each other down. Then it's time for a blast from the past as Lindsie and Kail discuss their middle school days! Lunch table hierarchies, fashion choices, and a whole lot of jelly sandals talk! And after weeks of saying they should discuss it, Kail and Lindsie finally break down Demi Lovato's documentary Dancing with the Devil. Often times we are putting on a show for the public eye, but behind closed doors it's a different story. This episode was sponsored by: Solawave, Nuts.com, Cameo, and Recovery Centers of America Have a question you want answered? Want to give Kail and Lindsie a call? Leave them a message at ?(609)-316-0060?. Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

All right, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of coffee combos podcast. Hey, how are you? Are you alive? Are you well? I'm alive. I'm well. I'm full. I just ate Mexican food at the office. So I'm feeling pretty good. Oh my gosh. The last time that we recorded, you said, um, hi, everyone. Oh, okay. I thought I said I never, I was never going to eat Mexican food again. No, it's like, uh, maybe we edit that out then. No, what was I sad about about your house? Yeah, I mean, I'm glad we got it worked out. Actually, I just got the new plans that, um, well, I had seen like a snippet of the new plans that they did. And I'm, I'm really excited. I'm, I think that we made a good decision and I would rather wait the

six weeks to make adjustments and resubmit for permits than to continue trucking along and then be unhappy because I don't think that I'll find another four and a half acre somewhere else. So I feel pretty good. Um, how are you feeling? How are you doing? How am I? I am well, school is officially out. Um, thank God. And we had our first weekend like not having to worry about school and stuff. We went to the lake and didn't come back until yesterday. So, um, I know a lot of people were at the lake this weekend and it was super nice. And I think we are just playing baseball tournaments through June. And then I think we're going to take the month of July off and I might take Jackson to the

beach for like two weeks and, um, just kind of like chill, you know? Yeah. No, totally. I think, um, that's a good plan. I, my kids are still in school this week and next week, but they are done as of next, you know, late next week. So I, I'm looking forward to kind of not really having to worry about getting them to school and just doing like family things. I know, but it's kind of hard too, because at least with school, there's some type of like formal schedule and you know what you're doing. I feel like for us, the first couple of weeks of summer are just like a little bit crazy because we're just kind of like

winding off of school and having so much structure to then it's like we have no structure to our day and try to figure that out is really hard. And I can't even imagine people with multiple kids trying to figure out a schedule like breakfast. Do we wake them up at a certain time to start breakfast? Do you let them sleep? Like does the, um, what does it say? Like the saying never wake a sleeping baby. Does that also apply to kids? I mean, I feel like it should. Why would you ever, if you don't have to, why would you, um, Lux actually just told me that, um, he doesn't fall asleep in the car anymore. And I was like, well, you literally just fell, fell asleep in the car yesterday. So he's

like, well, I don't anymore. Okay. So you're a liar. Good. I guess. I guess so. Um, can we talk about what Lux's favorite chicken nuggets are? Because the little video clip from team mom too, when he was like chicken nugget, he loves dino nuggets, but he will eat. He will eat chicken nuggets or chicken strips from anywhere. Um, but we have, we always have Tyson dino nuggets at the house. And there's this other brand that I liked and I want to say it was from maybe Sam's club. It was a, it was dino nuggets, but it was in a box versus like a Tyson chicken nugget bag. Um, and Isaac and Lincoln are not, they're not chicken nugget connoisseurs. So they,

they don't like all chicken nuggets. Um, they're very specific. So I don't know if Jackson has like a specific kind that he likes, but our kids, um, my kids really love chicken nuggets. Kale, you know, Jackson's like mom, Chick-fil-A has the best chicken and I'm like, yes, they do. That's the Lord's chicken. That is the Lord's food. Not the Lord's chicken. Oh my gosh. Wait. So on the last episode, um, we had Katie on and talked about all of the Chrissy Teigen stuff. And I feel like so many people messaged in about that and we're just saying like, you know, like all the people that go on Reddit and really follow like the threads and all of the things that are going on and the amount of stuff that came up was just kind of crazy to

me. But a lot of people said that they felt, um, when it comes to cancel culture that I wasn't wrong on this topic, like I had a lot of supporters supporting me and my feelings, which felt really good that I'm not big into cancel culture. And I know that you aren't either, but in this specific situation, I feel like, um, because she also was such an advocate for cancel culture and for people being canceled that, um, I don't think that she thought about all of the things that she had done in the past that could possibly resurface. Um, you know, it's crazy that you brought that up again because the same thing goes for Ellen DeGeneres. Well, can we get into that because you text me about that? And I was like, let's save it for the podcast because I didn't know

anything. Like you are breaking news. Like you are channel to action news today. Well, don't give me credit cause I wasn't the one that brought it up. I was getting my makeup done. I was just doing like a little pride glam look for, you know, this is pride month. So, um, my makeup artist Zach was telling me about how Ellen got, I don't even know how it came up in conversation and he was like that she was, it was canceled and I was like, wait a minute, what? I was like, I, I remember specifically, um, you know, especially during COVID when everyone was getting canceled and like things were going on. And I remember hearing like vaguely about, um, Ellen DeGeneres and like, I guess she was like really difficult to work for and just like super rude and like all of these

things. And like, I honestly always take it with a grain of salt. I don't know what's true and what's not true. And mainly because you and I have been on TV for a long time and we know that not everything that people say is true. So I just, I thought it was hearsay and long story short, I look it up and lo and behold, just a couple of weeks ago, they announced that I don't know if, um, I didn't read too much into it, but that either Ellen decided she's no longer going to continue the show or it was canceled. What I did find, what I found was that it was canceled about halfway through the season. But again, I don't know what's true and what's not true. Um, it says Ellen explains plan to cancel show as X producer says viewers felt, um, they were like essentially disappointed by her

phoniness. So I think that kind of goes into what you were saying about Chrissy Teigen. I mean, I don't know if Ellen was like super for cancel culture though. I don't know about that. I just, I think that when, um, you're out here advocating for something, if you're going to advocate for something you need to make sure that nothing can be dredged up about you from the past, that would also cancel you. Right. It sucks because I know that I definitely, and I've, I've said it, I've been honest about it. I have owned it. I have apologized. There's definitely been things that I've said in the past or, you know, just like pure ignorance. Um, and so I don't, I don't want to seem like a hypocrite. And so when I talk about things like this, it's

strictly from like experience. So like, I see all sides of it. Um, but I, I, I think I still stand by what I said on that. The Chrissy Teigen stuff is like that had been going on for years and years and years and she only apologized. You know what I mean? And so, and same thing for Ellen DeGeneres is that I think that things have been going on for years and years and years. And now she's like, I don't know. I don't know if she's apologized, but my makeup artist did say that she did. Um, and so, you know, maybe she is sorry. Maybe she, I don't know. I don't know. I think the apology, and this is just my opinion on it. I think the apology doesn't go as far if you're apologizing after being exposed. I think if you own your stuff prior to the expo,

the public exposure, um, then that's one thing, but it almost, it leaves room and margin for error for people to assume that you're only apologizing because your shit was called on the carpet. Right. All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our partners, Solowave. We have never talked about them, but during quarantine, I was struggling to find ways to take care of my skin at home. And my facialist suggested that I started using the Solowave wand. It is a portable handheld skincare device that helps lift, brighten, and even your skin tone. And you use it just for 10 minutes a day. And I have noticed a huge improvement in my dark circles and fine lines and some of my sunspots. And what I especially love

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dot com and enter promo code coffee. So take charge of your skincare and get yourself a wand from Solowave, you will not regret it. I just, I don't know, I thought it was interesting. And I also loved, um, I got so many messages of people being like, I loved hearing you, Kale, and Katie just having girl talk because they said that a lot of times whenever we have guests, it is all about like their lives and that we don't involve them in the, um, conversations that we have about like, you know, just articles, real life stuff that's like going on, things that we're talking about, it's all about them. So that was good feedback. I feel like, um, that when we have guests on to maybe, you know, get like a little background of them, but also to involve them in our

conversations and what we're talking about. Totally. How, um, how did your episode do? I know it launched today, right? Yeah, it launched today and I'm super excited. The numbers look really good and, um, a lot of goodness happening over there. And I think that it's just excited to, like exciting to see, um, all of our podcast doing well and thriving. And it brings me to the point of a lot of people, and I talked about this on the Southern T, a lot of people on Instagram are, will act like they're your friend, but like they're really a hater and they basically watch for your downfall and it's just really nice to have true friends that support you and like want your stuff to do well. And, um, you just don't see, you don't see that a lot. There's a lot of

jealousy that happens. And I think especially like with girls on Instagram, everybody is like trying to compete for whatever reason. And it's like, why can't you just be you? I don't, that's what I was, I would talk to you about it before, right? Like I will genuinely, like I told you, I liked and subscribed your, to your podcast, but like same thing with like my friends that have companies and stuff. Like what I might put for something that I create is going to be a lot different than like something that you create, right? Well, actually my style with your style is kind of similar, um, as far as like home decor goes, but I'm just trying to think of like another person, maybe they're just a very different like vibe in their house or whatever,

but like I'm still going to support your stuff. Like I'm still going to tag you. I'm still going to buy like a product of yours to show that I support you, but like for whatever reason, people don't, they don't want to see, they never want to see someone doing better than them, which is weird. And I mean, there's room for everybody to win. We've said it a million times and I think that a lot of people just feel like it's competition in the space and there's really no need like healthy competition. Yeah, but like there's no need for you to feel like you're competing against something else. Just be proud of like what you have and foster that and don't be worried about what other people are doing, right? I've never understood that. Oh, PS, um, on a different topic. Somebody

had commented on my Instagram and I just, are you ever like scrolling on there and you just like happen to see something like, I don't see all my comments, but sometimes I'll be scrolling and I'm like, Oh, I need to like respond to that person. Do you ever do that? Yes. Yes. Okay. So this person said when you were talking about that person who sent you something that they were posting gave me chills as well. That's so creepy. I used to be very vindictive back in the day and I would do shady things until I got caught. It taught me a very hard lesson. What you do in the dark will always come to light. I'm so sorry that that happened to you. What kills us only, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? You have turned out amazing and resilient love today's

podcast. So first of all, thank you. Secondly, since last week's episode, there's been so many like little rumors swirling around that story about people trying to figure out who it was that did it. And, um, I didn't say their name for a reason and or names for a reason. And, um, I don't want to like use this podcast to bash people on here or like call them out or whatever, because then I feel like that's almost using the platform for the wrong reasons, right? Like, we're not, we're not here to like talk shit about people, but that is something that happened to me in my life that was impactful and hurtful. And I felt like I could share the story without exposing the people who did it. Um, and I know a lot of people were writing in saying that people have

done that to them, like make up fake Facebook accounts or Instagram accounts or whatever, and like trolled them and find out that it was like an ex best friend or, um, like a sibling or a spouse, like stalking or whatever. And I'm like, what is wrong with people? What is wrong with people? I, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I know anyone that has ever trolled me, I, I definitely think that there has been, because there was a troll account that I tried to like figure out who it was. And it, I, the only, as far as I got was that it was based out of Dober, Delaware. So I definitely can relate to that on some degree, but I don't understand what is wrong with people. Like I don't get it. I don't understand why they feel the need

to like go out of their way, but it's, it goes back to jealousy, right? Like the only reason someone would spend that much time in doing something like that is because they are jealous of you. Yeah. But, but again, why? I watched a TikTok video or it was like a reel or something. And it was like, use that as inspiration, not as like, don't be jealous. Use it as inspiration because, because someone else has something that means that you can have it too. It's achievable. Like if someone else can do it, you can also do it. It might not be the same path getting there, but you can still get it or have it or do it or whatever that looks like for you. Like it is possible. So I mean, a lot of people I think just get in their own way and they don't

realize that they're getting in their own way, right? Right. Right. And it just makes me wonder, like, are they sad inside? Like what, what is the mental state that's going on that would cause them to make that type of decision? Cause it almost makes you also feel bad for these people. Yeah. I mean, I do feel bad to some degree. There was a time where I took it really, really, really personally. But now I have, you know, taken my power back and the only, the only account that though there's one account that really bothers me. But the rest of them, I'm just like, this is more of a reflection. You could say all the things that I've done wrong in my past 10 years on TV. Like that's fine. You can point out every single flaw,

every single mistake, every ignorant thing I've said, you can say, oh, you can say I'm fat, you can say I'm ugly, but at the end of the day, it is a reflection of you. Like it's not a, it's not a reflection of me because I can fix all these things. I can learn, I can, you know what I mean? You can only fix your, how you view things. So totally. I hear you on that. I think it's 1000% also hard. Um, when, if you just like think back, I always wonder what people did before social media and like what life was like before that, were they just like, um, um, was it like mean girl clicks or, um, yes. That's how I remember high. That's how I remember like middle school and high school, not so much high, high school. I felt like it was less clicky

for me. Um, and I don't know if it's just the way that like our cafeteria was set up or like the lunch periods were set up. Everyone was so divided. So like all the clicks were broken up, but specifically my middle school cafeteria, when I, I shit you not, it was set up literally like the cafeteria and mean girls. I shit you not. I remember, um, like middle school, definitely, yeah, you kind of, well, I guess, I don't know if we sat with home rooms or like whatever period we were with in middle school or what, but I know I sat with a specific group of girls and always at the same table and it was very divided. Like this group of people is this group of people and this group of people is this group of people, so on and so forth. Um, but I also feel like we

all kind of got along, but I don't know if middle school is just more, actually this is a really good topic. Like I don't know if middle school is more because you're kind of coming into yourself at that age and like figuring out who you are. If that's why it's so like people are so mean and people try to be funny. Like you said on the last episode, there's a fine line between being like just flat out mean and trying to be funny. Yeah. I feel like that was the kind of stuff that was going on during middle school. Like people trying to be cool and like saying stuff that was like mean, but like it was kind of funny. That's how middle school was like for me, but I don't remember it being like super bad and like horrible. Maybe I just didn't get like the

shit into the stick, you know? I'm sure a lot of people are listening to this and they're probably like middle school scarred me for life. I hated my sixth grade year. Sixth grade was really hard on me. Seventh and eighth grade. Seventh grade was a little rough because I did switch schools, so I went to a completely, I moved like two hours away from my hometown and then like went to a brand new school. And that's when the clicks were already formed because it was seventh grade, right? Like if I went into like fifth or sixth grade with everyone, it would have been fine. But I went into seventh grade and everything was already formed and I never sat at like the, I like sat at the barely made it table. Aw, Kale. Yeah, it was like, I was like friendly,

with certain people, but I didn't quite make it, you know what I mean? Like I wasn't one of the popular girls at all. So I'm literally thinking back and I remember like, oh my god, girls were so mean, not to me, but like they were just mean and I was like a bystander, you know what I mean? Like I wasn't cool enough to like be on the, I don't know, I can't even, and when I think about it now, I'm like all of those people, I wonder what happened to them? Like I wonder like, did they, what did they do with themselves? I would be curious to know. Yeah, if anyone who went to middle school with me is listening. No, don't reach out. Please, please reach out and tell me like what you're doing in life, like how. Please don't reach out to me at all. How life is

feared for you. Cause I, I really would genuinely like to know. And then I actually was thinking back, the reason that even made me think of middle school was because we have some neighbors that have girls in middle school and a couple of times I've heard from different parents who had rising middle schoolers this year talk about how middle school was just like so rough and it's really like make or break it years for kids. And I just don't remember my, my situation being like that, but maybe things have changed and your situation seems probably more like what these people are describing. But with that being said, I feel like these parents question like, should we pull our kids out and send them to private school for middle school or home school them for middle

school? Because there's like a lot of bullying and stuff that goes on in middle school specifically in my county. I don't remember, I don't think it was last year, but it was the year before there was a little girl in my neighborhood that is such a tiny little girl. She's a cheerleader, super cute. And there was a girl gang that like literally bucked up on her, flexed on her on Instagram, sent death threats, told her to kill herself, all of these types of things. And the school got involved. I know there was like a lot of people expelled over it and crazy stuff. And it goes back to the Chrissy Teigen thing. Like why social media almost like has magnified the groups of mean girls almost. Yeah, I mean, that's horrible. That's really, really sad. And I'm

scared now. Isaac said he is about to be done with fifth grade. And I want to say sixth grade. So when I went to middle school, we did not have an intermediate school. So it was fifth through eighth, fifth grade, sixth, seventh and eighth. So to me, it's that's almost worse. That's way worse. So because do you wait, do you think you're saying that all the grades together is worse or being separated is worse? No, I think all the grades together are worse. Yes, me too. Think about Kale like from kindergarten all the way to eighth grade, like how much difference there is like it almost. No, mine was K through four, and then fifth through eighth, but fifth through eighth together to me is worse than doing fifth and sixth, and then seventh and eighth, which is what Isaac

is going to go to now. He's in he's finishing fifth, and he'll go to the same school for sixth and then go to us, like, they'll all go to seventh and eighth together. And I feel like that's better than going fifth through eighth together, like I did. So here they do, and I don't know if it's all counties, but like, pretty much any county that I've lived in, I know they do it like this, it's kindergarten through fifth, and then sixth through eighth, and then ninth through 12th. Yes. So, yep. And that's how I did middle school. And honestly, it's weird that you say that now, because I have seen the fifth graders at Jackson school, and I'm like, okay, I'm kind of like ready for them to like, move on because just the stuff that they know compared to a first

grader or a second grader is just and the way that they act and the things that they do are just so different. So, I mean, all of the classes and stuff are separated by grade by hall. So it's not like they're having a ton of interaction with them, but it is just kind of scary. I don't know, maybe I would like it better if it was kindergarten through fourth, fifth and sixth, and then whatever you're saying the rest. I recently came across nuts.com and I absolutely love nuts.com because they come so quickly. So as soon as you order, you literally have your snacks within 24 to 48 hours. I love how fast they deliver. They have gluten free and vegan options, which is definitely something that I love, especially because I'm supposed to be going gluten free. And nuts.com

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ones you love. So don't just buy a gift, make a cameo go to cameo.com. All I know is I remember one specific day in the cafeteria in the seventh grade and or it might have been eighth grade. So I was like, next to like my table was next to like one of the popular girls tables. So like we just like didn't quite make it. And that breaks my heart. So I was best friends with this girl that sat at my table and I but I guess like through like classes or whatever, the one girl that sat up to actually was two girls that sat at my table became best friends with girls at the popular table. And so there was like a like we had to basically confirm like ask and confirm, are we switching the one girl from the popular table to my table?

And then the two girls that I was like really good friends with to the popular table and then everyone's like, do we all agree? And then like they switched. And I don't even know if these girls would remember this, but like I remember what I was I was traumatized by my middle school years like truly. And I wish I could say names because I know the three girls I know exactly who they are. I remember the one girl. Fuck it. Like I don't talk to these people. Fuck it. So all right, Brittany was the head of like one table. And I became with best friends with this girl named Ariel. And Ariel was like ride or die like we became so fucking close. And then she switched with the girls at my table, really sweet girls and like totally I'm not going to say their names

because they're really sweet and one actually passed away. So I'm not going to say their names, but sweet girls, but they like upgraded. They like became popular or whatever sat at the popular girl table. And then Ariel sat with me at my table. And then like that was my best friend for life until I moved again. But yeah, I just remember they were like, okay, so we're going to make this switch. Like I remember Brittany like confirming the switch. I remember it. And I'm just like, Oh, what the fuck? Who did she think she was? She was Regina George. No, but literally like remember when girls were like Erin, she was cheating on Aaron Samuels with so and so in the in the auditorium above the. Yes, I did. That was literally Brittany.

I promise you that was. Oh my God, we all had a Brittany, right? Like there was there was a Brittany and everybody's school. It's so funny though. Like who did these people think that they were? Like, I don't know. But then you say that and it brings me back. I'm going to tell the story that I told you in New York that it brings me back to my elementary school years. I was in second grade and my teacher was like the best teacher. And I always thought that I was going to be a red lipstick wearer when I grew up because she wore it. But then it's just not really my look. So I kind of outgrew that over time. But I remember I was student of the month two months out of that year. So obviously like I was a fan fave.

I had a girl in my class that stole markers from me and I'm not going to say like what her name was but oh my God, I love this fucking story. I fucking love this story. She stole markers from me and we had a classroom dispute over these markers and these were not just like regular Crayola markers that you could go to Walmart and get these were like special markers that my dad had bought me on a trip. He always used to bring stuff back like every time he went somewhere even if it was like a small pack of markers or something. And these markers were round fat markers and they had animal heads on them and they were so cute and I brought them to school thought I was so fancy. This was like back when to set the tone this was like back when jelly shoes were popular. You wore like overalls

like heads like that was like the jam and I never I never did any of those things. I hate that about you. I need to know people who are listening to this if you were a me or a Kale and I also need to know what the hell Kale was wearing at the time I was wearing these things. I probably wore the fucking plaid burbuda shorts and was barely getting by honestly. I love okay I like hate that you weren't part of jelly shoes but like I also love the fact that you were who you were. So basically I had to say that this girl was a liar because there's no way she had those markers and those were special to me and then I had a little club in my class that you had to have a Lisa Frank folder to like be in and then it transpired into having a

Lisa Frank folder to then you had to have a five star trapper keeper to like stay admitted into this club and this girl had both of these things but she wasn't allowed in the club because she was a marker thief and I look back on that part of my life and I'm like you know what maybe I was a mean girl at that time like you were you were a mean girl but also she stole your markers so it's fine. Do I have a pass on that? I mean is that is that a passable offense? Um I feel like yes and then did you guys like eventually get over it or no? Oh yeah we became best friends. Okay perfect so you guys are good you guys are golden. Yeah we're golden um I think that she used to have a Facebook but she doesn't have a Facebook now but we like we're Facebook

friends official like everything we used to hang out together we used to go to Blockbuster together on weekends. Oh my god Blockbuster. Literally I thought about Blockbuster the other day and I was like what do people do on the weekends now because back whenever I was a little kid we used to go to Blockbuster we would like get pizzas and chill and now I'm like I guess kids just watch Netflix. Well you know what's sad too is I thought about this today what's going to happen in movie theaters because I don't know about you but I want to watch Cruella and we too watch Cruella at home for the $30 fee and the whole family can watch it and have popcorn and snacks and pizza and whatever we want we don't have to go to the movies anymore so like that's kind of sad.

That's so sad um I mean I think the first movie I ever watched in the movie theater was A Bug's Life and we were late halfway through. Oh A Bug's Life. I'm about to send you this picture of me when I was a little I'm joking um I look like a boy so I always say this is me when I was a little boy but oh my look at your text messages right now okay I'm gonna post it on the story so you guys don't feel left out I'm also gonna look for the markers with the animal heads please I want to markers with animal heads they were probably so expensive oh wow Kale you yep you were the girl who wore Patagonia say it again because I've never been able to pronounce it Patagonia that's like new that's basically yeah but you were probably wearing Columbia I'm not sure what you were wearing

no this that outfit is from fashion bug fashion bug oh my god has anybody who is listening to this ever freaking watched eastbound and down it is the most ratchet show ever with Kenny Powers but there's just I have to post this clip now of it because he talks about the fashion bug he um is a jackass basically and he was a professionally like professional baseball player drafted and he's trying to date this woman and he tells her that she dresses like a jackass and she's like um I'm saying that she liked her outfit and stuff and he was like well all I can say is one of us has a professional stylist and one of us shoplifts our ship from fashion bug so why were they so expensive like they were so expensive I don't know but they had such cool

stuff in there like don't try to play fashion but fashion bug because they had really cool stuff in there and like I would love going in there with my mom like I actually wanted to go in there kill I'm so sad that you didn't have jelly shoes though like why weren't no my mom never I remember like going to my friend's house as like a child and I remember like she was like oh like I don't want them or whatever and I like tried them on and I made them fit I made my foot fit into them but they didn't fit my foot might they definitely didn't fit so I had to leave them and I was I didn't take them but my mom never bought them for me kill why do I love you so much I'm trying to think about let me tell you I called Payless because that's who in my town

that's who got the jelly shoes first and they had these pink little jelly shoes that had flower appliques on them and what did you just call them like appliques like like little flower imprints on them or whatever and I had to have those jelly shoes and I'm pretty sure my parents were definitely divorced at the time for some reason I feel like I went to Payless to get jelly shoes with both my parents so maybe like I got two different pair of jelly shoes and one stayed at one's house and one stayed at the other but bitch I was rocking those jelly shoes and I thought it was so fancy and then I went to first grade wearing those jelly shoes and I felt like I was the coolest person ever I was the only one who had jelly shoes like I brought that to my school

and then I brought that to my school that same week this this other girl who was like my nemesis she came to school and she was wearing the jelly shoes from Payless and I was honestly never been so pissed in my life really think of it I just like I'm looking right now and I'm just kind of low-key I'm pissed off because I would do anything for my kids right like I even like I wouldn't let them I would just do anything for them like I was about to say something really fucked up but like why my mom couldn't get me a pair of jelly shoes like one pair of jelly like why she couldn't get me I'm thinking about all the useless shit that I had and my mom couldn't just get me a pair of fucking jelly shoes they're literally like $20 do you wish that you had jelly shoes like is

that something yes I remember like literally like Furby right like when Furby came out mm-hmm I wanted one so bad like I just felt like and I waited so long and everyone had them and I didn't have one and I finally got one but it was like when they weren't that great anymore like they weren't like a big deal anymore and I was pissed because I was just like the new war off but you know what I guess it's easier now because we have like afterpay and Zezel and things like that and so it's easier to be able to get things for our kids and I feel this like credit cards like my mom didn't have any of that so I guess I could understand like she probably didn't have like I think Furby's were like $60 like she probably didn't have an extra $60 that's a lot of money for a single mom with an

alcohol problem um and just like whatever but um yeah I I guess like now it would be easier to get something like that but jelly shoes from Payless were probably $20 I don't understand why I couldn't get them they probably were like $15.99 girl they were probably cheap I'm trying to find like what did you say it was called an apple lay? An applique? Yeah like a flower applique on the jelly shoes I didn't know how many people also had jelly shoes from Frick and Payless and like thought it was so cool and like back in that time my parents didn't have a lot of money um they were probably just like average Joes but I always had pretty much like all the trends like I was I was trend setting honey did you have clear ones? Yeah I'm looking I had clear amping I had clear amping ones

yeah mm-hmm yep mm okay well I definitely was jealous of you I was styling I'm gonna send you a picture of these and I need I've these are not the ones that I have in my head like in my head but these are what came up on Google I'm gonna post all of these also um but I just wanted jelly shoes so bad and I'm I'm just pissed like I just feel like all the things that my mom bought me that I didn't want because that really made me sound ungrateful before but what I mean what I meant was all of the things that I had that I didn't want and I didn't ask for and she wouldn't get me like jelly shoes like why didn't you get me jelly shoes but kill yes these jelly shoes were such the jam honestly if I had a daughter at any point in my life I probably would find a

manufacturer that could just make her jelly shoes because they were so cute honestly if you had a dot if we had daughters we would have their own line of jelly shoes we'd bring them back yes absolutely hey do you remember do you remember those like I think it was back when maybe Steve Madden was just becoming Steve Madden I don't freaking know but do you remember those black slide on shoes that had like the little stretch they were like on a platform yes I never had those either yeah I freaking had those and I look back at some pictures of me wearing those clunkers and I'm like why was that even a thing but then there's like memes out there about it and it's like if you ever wore these shoes honey like now it is time for you to invest in a night

cream and I'm like wow wow yeah Lizzie McGuire had them on her show like she wore them that's right she did she did wear it okay guys if you're struggling with drugs or alcohol recovery centers of america can help rca's local inpatient and outpatient programs are founded on science and delivered with heart from an expert caring team who will inspire and guide you every step of the way don't wait go to rcahelp.com slash coffee combos for help at rca state of the art campuses located along the east coast and in the midwest you'll be in a community that builds connections and foster support from peers and rca's team of medical professionals and recovery support specialists at rca they tailor your treatment to you and also offer specialized

programs for patients with history of trauma or relapse for young adults for adults 50 plus for lgbtq patients who wish to seek treatment without the worry of stigmas a confidential program for first responders and service members and a faith-based program rca accepts patients 24 seven and is a network with insurance providers don't wait go to rcahelp.com slash coffee combos for help we need to talk about this thing that we've been telling people that we were going to talk about the demia levado doc like we have to talk about it this time because people okay you said okay fine people have been writing in and they just want to know like our thoughts on it and so we need to do it okay so i watched the demi levado doc um my earbud just fell out um and i was surprised first of all

i didn't even know that she was like filming a doc like i feel like that was under wraps for a while and then all of a sudden it hit and i saw it all over social media but like i never saw it on social media like you know how sometimes they'll put like a air date for when something's going to air like i didn't even know it was happening until it already happened so i started watching it and it was um she had like doctors her friends her family her sisters like all of that on the doc i was kind of blown away so for those of you who haven't watched it i just recently watched it kale watched it a while ago but i just recently was able to catch up with it and it's called dancing with the devil um and there were so many things in that documentary that were like takeaways that um i

feel like even if you do not struggle with addiction um that you could take away that is applicable to people's lives like for example she was talking about how doing something but something else behind closed doors and that's what ultimately led to her overdose and i feel like a lot of people that are you know like maybe unhappy in their lives or um again don't even have an addiction problem or whatever but it's like this depression yeah i mean it's like this um something with life that just makes people feel and we're all guilty of it makes people feel like you have to put on this front publicly to be one way but like behind closed doors whenever everything's like all stripped down it's like there's the problems and that's like the real you

and i've kind of struggled with that a little bit too like trying to put on this front like you're you know so happy and like you don't have any problems in life and whatever but like really like there's a lot of stuff going on and i could see where someone um with her type of fame could be in that place feeling like um actually it made me immediately when she said that on the documentary it made me think of jojo seawall and how she has been this like what would you call like childhood sensation for all these young girls and you know little boys whatever and to have um the stuff like live a double life yeah yeah that's what i was trying to say like to be to feel like you have to live a double life but for what reason

why why is the world like that why do you have to feel like you just can't be who who you are i struggle with that a lot i've actually been struggling more with that now um i i know someone in my life um i considered this person to be someone who i like invested in and like told like i confided in and things like that because i felt like i'm gonna use they because i don't want to say if it's a boy or a girl um they i felt like they were like they were so much they were so detached from like my my public life like kale from teen mom kale from 16 and pregnant kale on the podcast kale you know in the media and things like that that i i just i really valued what that was and and something came out about this person where i found out that they aren't so detached

from that and they actually listen to the podcast listen to chris's podcast listen to you know what i mean like they actually follow it more than they lead on and i just kind of felt like it was it really was an eye-opener for me because i was like wow like i really considered you to be a person that i i had in like my real my real life and not that what i put out to the media isn't real um but it's i mean the media and like the public will never know who i genuinely and truly am off camera and so i just felt like i had a safe space with this person and i actually it turns out that i didn't so um i i don't know why we feel the need i guess because i don't know like i i don't know i think that's hard and this goes back to weeks ago weeks and weeks ago i said kim kardashian

said something about like being liked for who you who you are it's harder than acting right like i wonder if if that's the same but to your point of jojo siwa the first thing i thought of was like my mom right like addiction you don't know what people are struggling with until you kind of get you it's stripped down right so like demi lavato was struggling with the same thing she was living a double life and until you see what's going on behind closed doors you don't know what she's struggling with and so um i just it's so interesting because i feel like for someone like her on on her scale is like she did a good job hiding it she did a good job like all of that but why should she have to why should she live in shame essentially for what she's going through

and like the real problems i don't know because that's exhausting perfection it's it's so exhausting lindsay i think the the idea that people are obsessed with like perfection and money and um just like this like wholesome situation which i think for me i've spoke on it before is like people don't resonate with that people resonate with like pain and like trauma and like what people you know go through in order to get where they are and so i i feel for demi i i i feel for her and then when i knew that we were going to talk about this i had actually seen a comment come up on the podcast instagram and i screenshot it because i was like i need to read this whenever we we talk about this topic and it says that um lindsay used to share so much in earlier episodes

obviously there's still things in motion legally with your family so don't feel bad about protecting yourself and your mental health we've seen the tiniest snippet and that's been bad enough and so it just makes me think like sometimes you also feel the pressure to be on all the time and to have all of the answers for everyone that they want to know and um i could see where someone in her world because i can't even fathom like that type of fame um would also feel like you just feel like you just have to be on at all times and the level of mental and emotional exhaustion that even i have felt uh in certain times i couldn't even imagine how she felt but i can only relate it to how i have felt is can truly be debilitating because you feel like you're fighting a fight

at all times yeah totally i hear you loud and clear trust me and it's it's just so hard you know when i get i get the comments to you know like why don't why don't you share you know stuff about will anymore why don't you share stuff about your marriage well you know when i get ready to do that and the timing is right for me to do it and to you know divulge information when i get ready then then i will and my timing and i think that you just kind of have to get to a place in this world that when you're um like us for example we have a podcast every single week now both of us have you know we have between the two of us we have three podcasts and there's a lot of sharing that goes on and with that sharing comes a lot of responsibility i feel like and um you have to pick

and choose when timing is right for you to share certain stuff and it's not um you know sometimes you'll just get on the podcast and you're like okay now i'm feeling like the timing might be right to do this or the timing might not be right and so i can't even imagine how dimmy was feeling throughout all of this and what was so sad for me to see and also related to this that she longed for a relationship with her dad and it made me think of you because she said that he was an addict and an alcoholic and abusive to her mother and um i honestly can't relate because i didn't have a parent that had um addiction issues yeah substance issues and so i can't relate to that but i know that that's something that you can relate to and it just made me so sad the impact i think people

don't think about the impact that it has on others like it's yeah yeah it it was hard for me um when i because she has a song for the love of a daughter and i would ball my eyes out when i first first heard of the song i even have chills talking about it now like um you're right i don't think that people talk about the impact it has on the kids enough it's always about like the spouse or you know the person themselves and i i hear that completely but um you know there's a lot of pain and trauma that comes with you know having a parent being the child of an of an addict or an alcoholic or someone who struggles with substance abuse and um i i struggled a lot with um when people called it a disease and i never really understood how it was a disease and like i i

never understood it until i became an adult and um it was painful for me to hear her talk about it but is her mom was there for her though right or no yeah her her mom like thankfully she had her mom because i know from what i remember it was so long ago when i watched it um thankfully she had her mom and her sisters but it still doesn't change kind of her story you know like how she felt about her dad choosing his things over her and and i get it and i think not because i can relate to this but just from what i see from the outside when you are to the level of fame where she's at um i think your relationships internally change not by choice but by career right and so i think um maybe relationships for her she was able to control more things because she had

access to more things and you know it's like having an assistant and having a tour manager and having an agent you know all of these things um i think that it becomes easier when you have a bunch of yes men around you that yes they're on your payroll right and not to say that these people you know maybe weren't genuine i don't want to say that i'm just saying that i think that um um when you when you are someone like her that that sits high up on top and you have a bunch of people working for you and telling you yes on everything i think it becomes very easy for you to one hide things because you have a team that's helping you do that yes yes and two you might not be personally responsible for certain tasks during a day that would show people red flags of things

that were going on because you have people hired to do that right right right right totally and i think um you started to say something that made me think of the point that when you i guess you said when relationships change um i wonder if she if the people even her friends or like the people that worked for her or worked with her they probably she might not have let them in close enough to be able to see the signs you know what i mean and so um and i think when people the general public sees celebrities or see people get any ounce or or 15 minutes of fame even it's like they they characterize these people and they um they think that oh they started you know they start having notoriety or money or or uh social media presence or you know publicity and they're

like oh they don't have any problems yep oh well it's it's demi lavato and she was on barney and she's friends with she used to be friends with simply to Gomez and now she's got albums and songs and you know brands and and and a documentary and books and all of these things and so she doesn't have any problems it's easy to say oh you know they're they're famous they don't have an issue they don't have any issues they have money now and it's like wait a minute slow the fuck down because addiction and drug abuse and alcohol abuse doesn't discriminate and that's i think a big takeaway from this that the saying is true that money does not fix everything in fact i truly believe that the more you have access to the more problems that it creates yeah i would

agree with that i would 1000 agree with that and i don't say that um because i know a lot of people might say oh well that's easy to say if you have money but i think that um from a day-to-day basis it's like yeah you have more access to you know pay bills and so on and so forth but then it also opens up doors for people to ask you for things um you have access to a lot more things to create a lot more problems right right i said it before i forget what the exact quote was and i know i've brought it up before but rob deardex said like the more money you have the weirder you get and like you just like do weirder things and i i mean i can speak for myself on that it's like i having money has created so many and i say i have money it has it's made me a weirdo like

figuratively and also literally um and and i don't even have demi lavato money or rob deardex money like not even close to touching them but i'm saying like from what i came from till now when i think about like i mean you just become weird too because you don't trust anyone either right you know what i mean so you're already guarded and then you have money but now you can pay for people to do things for you so you never have to do like real life shit and then on top of then you know you can get away with like hiding things like you said so um i don't know and then um it went into this whole conversation about how mental health needs to be talked about and how she would drink vodka out of a stripe a sprite bottle at like nine a.m trying to self medicate and that um she

felt like a hypocrite because she was such an advocate for mental health yet she wouldn't help her own dad the way that she would help other people and i also feel like that's something that you could probably relate to that actually pisses me off though because i feel like i begged my mom to get help i begged my mom not to drink i you know even my mom's boyfriends and and fiance's and things like that would bribe her um to go to rehab and even the court system bribed her if you go to rehab you can have custody of your daughter like things like that it's like like you can't help and i know firsthand and i'm not and i'm not an addict is like you can't help someone unless they want to help themselves like you you really can't so that kind of pisses me off

that's like yeah we can be mental health advocates but we also can't help people that don't want it right right and they can say they want it but are they doing the work and so it's one of those things where it's like what do you want her to do well exactly and you know i think it's a huge apparent child relationship is a complex relationship as is without adding any more stuff like on top of it and for the the child to have to become the parent in that situation is is against nature and so i just don't i don't know you can never say what you would do unless you have been presented the situation right like we can all sit and say oh well if i had a parent that was like this and i would do this no bullshit like you don't know what you would do if you had

a parent that had addiction problems that literally um took their life you don't know what you would do and so unless again like i said you have experienced it and so i think that maybe she received some backlash on the fact that she was willing to help other people but not as willing to help her dad but who's to say that um she didn't get to the point of burnout like maybe she did help and it never stuck right or yeah he could have fallen off or maybe he didn't really commit maybe he checked it like there's so many different possibilities that i just don't feel like she can be held accountable for that right and then um the last point and then this would just cover up to episode one so obviously we'll have to pick up other episodes next week but beauty

pageants were mentioned in that first episode and the entire mindset behind it and how much pressure in the industry as a female to look and dress a certain way and um i'm actually completely against beauty pageants because i think now with social media um it's really damaging to a female to compare to to be competing and comparing yourself up against other women um and then there'd be like this prize at the end as if all of these women aren't prizes and um i think about john benet ramsey actually whenever i think of this and i just thought of her too that's so funny you said that how much pressure was probably on that child at such a young age to look and act and um you know have the type of etiquette and whatever that would

be such a huge pressure and ultimately that led to to her struggling with an eating disorder and i think that that people don't really think about the mental aspect behind a lot of these things i don't think they do either and i don't i really don't i think people just i don't know like start starving yourself almost to be able to have the flatest stomach on a stage like to me that just that that is so negative to me it's sad it's really sad because i mean i i've struggled with what she said too because she she talks about how like the the designs that were made for her like costumes and like the things that she was supposed to wear you know they were not made for bigger women or girls that were you know essentially not a size zero and so she was

starving herself to be you know thin to fit into these outfits to you know everyone's watching what she's eating did she work out did she do this did she that's a not a natural way to live at all and nobody should live have to live under that type of pressure at all i just don't i can't and i know that you've struggled with that too feeling like you know on a smaller scale obviously reality tv but still tons of eyes watching you feeling like your body can't change feeling like your body can't change or evolve over time um you know gain weight lose weight whatever it may be because people are constantly watching right right it's just like there's never it's it's so much pressure at all times like never a moment's peace but that wraps up the first episode of

the demi levado documentary so if you haven't watched it we will be kind of picking up where we left off next week and it's called dancing with the devil and i am going to go and have my nails done because they look so bad but if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on instagram make sure you follow us over there and if you have not subscribed to our show make sure you do that by searching the purple podcast app on your iphone or any apple device you can also subscribe to us on spotify make sure you leave us a five star review and a written review we hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see you