Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 168: Behind The Edit, Changing Your Mind, and Tooth Fairy Mishaps

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

On this week's episode Kail and Lindsie talk about how things can become misconstrued when the whole story is not disclosed. This can happen with friendship fallouts, online drama, and so much more. Plus sometimes you think you are okay with a situation, but then you learn more information. Does this mean you were never okay with it all along? Or does it become a different situation entirely? And Kail talks about a recent mishap with the Tooth Fairy and how she fixed it. This episode was sponsored by: Dame, Hers, GoHenry, & HVMN Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey everyone, it's Coffee Combos, Lindsay, how we feeling today? Oh my gosh, well, I'm in a little bit of a cluster because I feel like I have so many things going on, but doesn't everybody in life, right? Like, we all have stuff going on, but the amount of stuff that I feel like I personally have going on in my life is so overwhelming and right before, when I told you I was setting up my equipment right before this, there was a call that was supposed to be scheduled and I just want to talk about this for a second because I feel like when it is so rude in business, when you designate time out to do something and other people are in agreeance

of you doing this and then they act like it never happened or like it wasn't on their agenda when they confirmed it and I'm just like, okay, I'm glad that you wasted my time because you took time away from my day for something that I needed to be doing so that I could deal with your nonsense. So now we're just not going to do it at all and we're going to keep our ship moving. So that's where I'm at this morning. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So fine form, Kale. What did you just say? I said I am in fine form. I am. Fine form. Heated. So how's your morning?

Are you less heated? Yeah, I've had like a weird couple days, like just some things that I don't know how to deal with without my therapist and I only see my therapist on Thursday. So I've been in like a weird, like I'm not mad. I'm not sad. I'm not, I wouldn't, I'm, I would say I'm happy, but I also have a lot of like heavy thoughts on my head, on my head, on my mind and just like how to deal with certain things that I, between Thursday to Thursday, I'm just like not really sure.

So it's kind of heavy on my mind. But I wanted to tell you today on this podcast that I am, and I have to whisper. Can you hear me? Yes. I can hear you. Why is this a secret? Because Lincoln is in the other room and I have my door closed, but I'm the worst fucking tooth fairy ever.

Wait, you have to tell the whole story, but you can't whisper. Okay. So if you have kids in the car and you're listening to this, I suggest turning it off ASAP and listening when there's no kids around, at least for the first five minutes, because the story that I'm about to tell you, um, I'm guilty of this on not just last night, but like Isaac's, all of Isaac's teeth, like I'm like, Oh, she just like the tooth fairy just like didn't come today, but she'll be here tomorrow and then like, okay. So last night I had put, um, Lincoln and Lux in matching pajamas that I got from Gap

and they're super cute. And I was like, Oh my God, can I take a picture? So Lincoln had this front tooth hanging on by a frickin thread and like would not pull it out. So they were like, just like goofing off or whatever. And next thing you know, I snapped the picture and the tooth like fell out between the snaps like of the picture and he's like, Oh my God, my tooth, I guess like, like literally Lux must have grazed his mouth with his hand, like when they were like messing around and

laughing and stuff. And the tooth was gone and I like found it in the bed. It was so crazy, um, poor thing. Lux is probably traumatized. Like did not mean to do that at all. Um, and then I was, he's like, I got to put it under my pillow. He was like, I don't want to put it under the one that I'm laying on because I don't want to crush it.

So I'm going to put it under the one next to me and I was like, okay, I'll have you know that I woke up at the ass crack of dawn and was like, Oh my God, I completely forgot. So I go in the room and Lux and Lincoln are not in there. They're already downstairs watching TV, never even got me, nothing. Yes. And so I go down there and I'm like, Oh my God, what did the tooth fairy give you? And he was like, she didn't come. And I was like, are you, are you sure?

Maybe she could find your tooth. That's what you should have said. Yeah. Like what happened? Like, I don't know what happened. I said, why don't you go check again? And he did. And he's like, I got $10.

Whatever. I'm like, Oh my God, I literally don't know how I, like I'm the worst. Stop. Okay. I have two things that I need to say about this. The first thing is Jackson didn't lose his first tooth until he was eight years old, which is absolutely insane in itself. But there were these little tooth fairy pillows on Amazon and I had actually posted a photo

with it on my Instagram. So if you guys want to go and look over there, you can see the little tooth fairy pillow. It's super cute. And it came with a little notepad and it lets you like right on there the day that you lost the tooth, if it was clean, you know, blah, blah, blah, it's like a little checklist. So I said, and it came with fairy dust too. So I said that since quarantine, like the tooth fairy can't come into your bedroom. So it has to be on your door knob on the outside of your door.

So easy peasy because I've also talked about on here that we do the whole bedtime routine, like the brushing of teeth, going to the bathroom, getting a sip of water and you don't come back out of your bed. So literally it's almost like a fail-proof way because I don't forget because I see it hanging there. Okay. Okay. So that's a lifesaver.

I'm going to need the link for that because I'm sure I'll have plenty more tooth fairy stories for you guys in the future with, you know, all the other kids that I have. My next thing that I needed to say is that I find it interesting that you even do the tooth fairy because way back when, I can't even remember, like, might have even been like 2017 when we started the podcast, but you were talking about how like you don't do Santa and like blah, blah, blah. So I just wonder like the thought process behind that, like, how did you pick and choose like, okay, I'm going to do the tooth fairy, but not the Easter Bunny, not Santa, not,

you know, and is it different? Yeah. Well, I don't have to share the tooth fairy with the dads. You know what I mean? Like I don't have to, that's not something I have to like argue with or, you know what I mean? So like, I feel like the other things are holidays and that, you know, we argue, we used to argue about them and like who gets what and even with the custody order on holidays, it's hard

because maybe that doesn't follow the same order as like our, if I'm getting together with my family who has kids and then it's just like a mess, the tooth fairy just like happens. Yes. Yes. Well, that's interesting. I just needed to know the answer to that. I'm glad that you are Miss Tooth Fairy and I'm glad that you're just killing the game.

Yeah, I'm doing my best. Okay. So, other news, I know that you warned me about this, but like I needed a stronger warning about how long it was going to take me to get like a refrigerator and washer and dryer. I'm sorry. What? For my new house. Yeah.

I know that you warned me about like pre-ordering stuff like way in advance, but because my plans changed a couple of times, I didn't because I didn't know what stuff would accommodate where I was going to move and so I just kind of like held it off and I don't feel like your warning was strong enough that I wasn't probably going to have a washer and dryer whenever I move in because it's a longer wait period than like four weeks. Okay. So, I didn't know that there was like a washer and dryer situation and I need two sets of each because like two washers, two dryers because I have it on the first floor and the

second floor. So, that's good to know that I need to order them. I think we were planning on ordering all my furniture for like, I think she said 16 weeks before we move in. I'm pretty sure that's what she said. That's a whole other thing in itself. Like I ordered the kitchen appliances and I have not even received an update on when they would ship, but at this point I'm not moving in until probably January if I'm being

realistic. So, I don't know. It should be fine. Well, the nice thing is, is that in this situation, it's less traditional than most. So whenever I do move, like my closing is in 23 days and that's insane in itself. But I'm going to have time to like transition my stuff over. So, I do feel a little bit more at ease for that. But then there's a lot of stuff that I'm doing after the fact like that I didn't do through

the builder that I'm doing through contractors that like I've hired. So I'm going to need, it probably realistically will be like August before I'm actually in. But then I also like am so naive to stuff and I don't know how many other people are listening to this that are also just naive, but like knowing that you need to buy a specific kind of dryer dependent upon if you have electric or gas and like that kind of stuff. It's just not anything that I've ever thought about before until now. So it's kind of cool because it's like a lot of life lessons. I feel like I'm becoming wiser.

Okay. Okay. I feel like I feel that way too. I don't know if it's therapy or just like experiences, but yeah, I feel that way too. So I second that. And actually back to your comments about therapy and so many people have sent messages to us in the past couple of weeks about talking about healthy friendships and all the things that we've talked about over the past couple of weeks and people have really related to

that. And I think that it's so crazy that we can all be in different walks of life or you know, live in different parts of the United States, but all kind of like be going through similar things in life. I just find that to be so interesting. Like my life and your life are totally different, but we experienced some of the same things. Right. Which is kind of, it's a little bit sad, but also comforting to know that like we're not

alone and even someone that we don't think that we could relate to, we can actually relate to on some level. Cause I know that whenever we started the podcast, like you felt like what in the world am I going to be able to like really literally like you literally thought that. And so I just think it's so funny that you can have totally different people, totally different upbringings live in different parts of the US or world and still be dealing with the same type of stuff. Right.

But over the past week, I have had a couple of friends message me talking about how to and it's so weird. I feel like it also goes in trends. Like, have you ever thought of people who get pregnant and it's like, you know, a couple of people pregnant and they're all pregnant with like the same gender or whatever. And it seems like kind of weird. Okay. Well, I've had a couple of friends this week and it must be something in the universe telling

me the exact same thing about when to call, quit and a friendship with someone. And like, what is a healthy break and do you like clean cut, just like cut them off? Is it a progression? And how do you know when it's right? And I think all of those things are so freaking relatable. It's hard because I feel like in a normal and I use the word normal loosely, as you said last week in non publicized and I would say like, I don't know what the right word is. People who are not on TV or a public figure in any way or have any type of following,

I think people can just like separate kind of just like distance themselves and be fine and it not be a big deal with friendships. But for whatever reason with like my friendships or your friendships or something, they might be, it might look a little bit different. Like I, I've definitely distanced myself from some people just not even because there's a falling out, but because there's genuinely like life changes and things like that and phases and things of, you know, just regular life. But ones that you know are not healthy, how do you, how do you make a clean break?

And I have not been able to, and that's why I decided to send all of these people NDAs that I think was long, long, long overdue, but so much has happened, I think so closely together within the last six months for me that I just felt like now it's necessary. And you know, if we do decide to part ways as friends, whether it's a clean break or a messy break, you're not going to go online and talk shit about me and do all kinds of crazy things because you're upset or you're mad or you feel some type of way. So it looks a little bit differently for us now than it did when maybe we were in high school or something.

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like we've said before, with social media, there's been plenty of people that I know that go out and air all their dirty laundry on social media because they've had a falling out with a friend or whatever that looks like, but in situations where there could be a monetary advantage for someone, I think that might be a little bit of the difference. Right. Right. I agree. I could agree with that.

You know, and it's hard because I look back to relationships before all of this and everything just looked so differently, but I think also you start becoming guarded when you start seeing certain behaviors around you that no longer make sense. Right. Right. Exactly. And that is something that I'm struggling with right now because I can't tell you guys enough how like I've only been in therapy for 18 months, but I'm just now at the 18 month

mark seeing things that are wrong with my friendships and even things that I've done wrong too, like boundary wise, um, red flag wise, like I'm, I'm, it's not just my, it's not just my friends. Right. So it's like when you get to a place where you're seeking therapy or you're going through like spiritual changes or just like self growth and progress and things like that, you start to look at scenarios, friendships, relationships very different. And so what you may not have thought was unhealthy before is now unhealthy.

And so how do you kind of break free of that? I think that's a really good point, not only with friendships, but a romantic relationships, really any type of relationship that you have that through therapy, you do see things a little bit differently through a different lens because, um, you're, you're learning what's healthy and what is not healthy and you're learning to boundary set. And then you're having to go back and revisit, um, rethink about things that you have been through with certain people and what no longer makes sense now that you look at things differently. Right.

Right. So, so what do we do? What do you have any advice for me because I feel like I could use it right now? Well, I can just tell you that in my relationship specifically with will that, you know, we have been together for over a decade and that's a long damn time. And there's been a lot of stuff that has happened. There's a lot of, um, growth and change and that's just part of age, right? Like no matter if we had been together that long or not, we've just seen each other from

basically kids to now adults that are in business that have a child and things just look totally different, um, I actually saw something the other day, um, I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was talking, it was this narrative and it was this man saying that he had been with his wife for X amount of years and that he felt like he had been married to X amount of women and that amount of time because of the changes that, you know, she went through and obviously he went through change too, but it felt like he had been married to a different woman so many different times because all of the changes and I think that you have to become comfortable and I became comfortable through therapy that is okay to grow.

And when you become comfortable with growing, then I think you become an unstoppable person because you're not settling for what I was doing at 19 years old. Like what I was doing at 19 doesn't work for me now at 31. Right, right, exactly, exactly. And I mean, I'm sure you've seen that in certain relationships or friendships that you've had that you've carried into adulthood that the things that you might have done with those friends at, you know, 18, 19 years old, no longer work for you at 28. Right.

No, I definitely agree with that. I think that there's a lot to even be said for even how I start friendships now, what how I started friendships in the past is not something that I would do now. You know what I mean? And while we're on the friendship topic, I do want to bring something up and I would like to hear your opinion on this. I do have therapy tomorrow morning, so I plan on talking to my therapist about it too. But in a friendship or any type of relationship really, if you say a situation arises where

you, you find something out and maybe it's old, um, and you don't really react to it because it's like, okay, it is old. Let's give the benefit of the doubt, things like that. But then you maybe a couple of weeks or months or a year goes by and then you find out made like you're refining out, but with heavy, heavy, significant details. Are you still allowed like to be upset? And then for something so, so significant, do you remain friends with the person or do you not remain friends with the person?

First of all, I would love for everybody who's listening to weigh in on this because I think that a lot of people are going to have a lot of different perspectives. I'm going to go back to something that you have said before that you are allowed to change and grow and allowed to learn from mistakes that you've made in your past. And um, I think that there's a lot of truth to that. We talked about that, you know, about cancel culture and there's a lot of truth to that. But also with that being said, um, was what this person did to you a true character flaw. And if, if at the root you feel like it's a character issue versus, um, something that

they might have like acted out, um, because you made them feel a certain type of way. And so maybe they like lashed out at you, or is this just like who this person is as a person? And I think that when you define that, then you know your answer of what you should do. I think the, the best scenario, I guess I could describe for something like this is like, this is something that I'm currently going through with somebody. And, um, I think the closest thing that I can equate to it is like, say you're dating someone and you find out they cheated a year ago.

And then you're like, okay, well, I'm upset, but not, there's nothing I can do about it and things have been good for the last year. Okay. So for you, they, they, they cheated for an entire year, things are good. And then you find out and you're like, okay, well, I mean, in the past year, like things have been good. So I'm not going to really do anything. Well, a couple of weeks go by and you find out major details, like I don't, I, I want

to say like, if I speak from experience, I stay with the cheater. So like, I don't really know, but, um, I don't, I don't know, but then the patterns repeat themselves, right? Right. So it's like, is that person committed to change? And did you give that person the opportunity to tell you everything? Did you say, lay it all out there, you know, it'll be what it'll be. I just want the truth.

And then that person still hide stuff from you because if that's the case, then I feel like that is a serial offender, like that's somebody who's going to probably do it again because there's reason why they're not giving you all of the details, right? Okay. Okay. So I just, I really, really want to work hard and having healthy, like intentional. And I can't use that word loosely because I mean it so specifically. I want intentional friendships.

I want intentional like things I want to make intentional. I want to do everything with intention because I feel like for so long I've done things so like fly by the seat of my pants and like whatever goes and whatever flows and things like that. And it just doesn't get me very far. And I always, it kind of explodes in my face. So I just want to be very intentional with the things that I do moving forward and the people that I let into my life, into my life and my kids lives.

But I also want to be, I want to make good choices and be a good friend to other people. I don't want to ask for things of people that I wouldn't do myself in the friendship. So I want to be mindful of where I'm at in someone's life too. So if you were, if you came to me and you were like, Hey Kaleck, I really don't like these things that have been going on in our friendship. Like I would, like I would want you to tell me so that we can make it right and I can be healthy and we can keep our, our friendship going. Do you know what I'm saying?

So like, I just want to be mindful, intentional and, and all of that and not repeat the same. I don't want to go through the same friendship problems that I've been having for my whole life. I don't want to continue to have them. The crazy thing is, is I look back on just our friendship because this is relevant to this conversation, but I look back on our friendship over the past couple of years. And I think that they're along the way have been hiccups, not big hiccups, but hiccups out of, out of you not wanting to address something or me being more crass and being

like, Yeah, no, F that, like this is, this is how it is, or, you know, whatever. I think that you need a little bit more of that in your life and your friendships, because I feel like we have a super healthy friendship and I feel like you also have that same type of dynamic with, with Kristen too. Like you can tell each other things and that person's going to ride with you regardless. Like if you hurt their feelings or not, like you're coming from a place of love and being very intentional about the friendship. And I think if you can't have that level of comfort with someone to know that if you say

something, they're not going to walk away from you, then maybe the friendships, you know, aren't really worth it. Like if you're walking on eggshells to be in a friendship, you shouldn't probably be, have that friend or be in that friendship. I, um, there's one thing that Kristen and I actually talk about a lot and I've struggled with, I've struggled with this in the past is like, I kind of let things build up. And so like I, contrary to popular belief and literally against everything that you've ever seen on Teen Mom about me, I do not like confrontation.

I don't like conflict. That is an ask Lindsey, ask Kristen, ask anyone, like I let people get away with shit for so fucking long because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I don't want to feel like the bad guy. I don't want to feel like I'm being wrong for sticking up for something or, or saying something for myself. Um, I actually don't like conflict and something that Kristen has always told me since we both started therapy is you have to address feelings that happen right then and there.

It is not fair to you or to the other person for you to be like, um, 13 months ago and six days ago, you did X, Y and Z and then you bring it up in like an argument that's like not about that. And that's something that I, I want to work on moving forward is like addressing things that bother me right away. So like Lindsey, I've always admired you for like you being able to cut to the chase and say whatever is going on. So like if some, if I've done something, you'll say it and I, I appreciate it.

Like I might not like it right in the moment, but I, I think that overall it is healthy for our friendship because you can say what it is and it's not just like stewing, you know what I mean? And like making you crazy because you have, right, because it's like resentment. If you're holding these things in and then it's not fair for anyone and then the relationship suffers. So I just want to say that I love that about you and I also want to work on that in all my friendships and relationships in general, friends, family, everything cause, um, sorry,

I'm going on a tangent. No, I love it. I just think of like, cause kill you are so like that you'll be like, well, 13 days and five hours ago when I'm like, okay, Tom Petty, like, okay, like, why do you care about it? 13 days removed. Like why did this? And it's almost, I relate it to punishing a child that isn't, um, doesn't have like the mental capacity maybe to remember.

Like they get in trouble at school and they're like two years old and they, you know, Jackson pulls Susie's hair and by the time he gets home, he's forgot that he's done that. So it's almost too late for me to punish the way I would have punished in that moment. Right. So I think it's the same thing with, um, any type of relationship. If something is bothering you, address it and move on from it. You either, you move on in one direction or the other, right? But like, you move in a direction versus just standing there.

Yeah, that's true. Come on, Kale. I can't wait until you have therapy and I also like can't wait to hear what your therapist has to say about the situation. Cause obviously we're just talking about this is like normal people. I'm just thinking in terms of like for anybody, it truly could apply to anyone. I think like being like, have you ever heard about people going on trial against somebody and it's like they're retraumatized or re victimized because they have to like face

their, their, you know, attacker or whatever that looks like. And then maybe this is a bad comparison, but like what I'm trying to say is like, say you learn about something, you're upset about it, but you, you react, I guess, accordingly. And then you turn around and you find out more details. Like you're almost being re victimized. So it's, it's like, I don't, I, I don't know how to handle that part of it. And I think that that's a problem in living with, in the public eye, because like there was an example that I can give about that is like, I don't want to throw anyone into

the bus though. I don't want to make it about like dumb shit. Um, Well, just don't say names. Just give the example. Okay. So I was in a relationship. Someone went to a strip club and I was getting tweets saying, Oh, Kale's at home with the

kids while so and so is at the strip club. Right. I'm pretty sure I've talked about that in the past. So it doesn't really matter, but I didn't want to make it about this specific person. So say that's all I thought it was, say I thought it was just them going to the strip club. But later I find out that it was like a private room and they got naked or, you know, whatever went down.

Like, are you allowed to get upset again for the situation when you learn more details? But I think that it also goes with the boundary, right? Like you almost have to be comfortable of what you know, what happens in that environment. So you almost, if you're going to allow that type of behavior into me, I just don't support that at all. Like that would be something that I would majorly show my ass about. So I think that at the moment that you became okay with the going to the strip club, you almost have to be comfortable with what happens at the strip club.

And if you're not comfortable with all the things that can happen, then maybe you're actually not comfortable because then it's almost like, okay, well, I want to let them do so that they don't feel like they're trapped or like, you know, whatever, but I'm really not comfortable with this, but I'm going to play off like I'm cool with this, but then I find out more things and then I'm really not comfortable with any of it. It goes back to boundary setting. Right. Okay.

Maybe you weren't comfortable with the person being at the strip club period. And maybe the secondary action triggered you. Right. Okay. So that makes sense. That does make sense. I'll let you guys know what my therapist says tomorrow, like next, I'll write it down and then I'll about the scenario and that we talked about this because I probably won't remember.

And I'll let you know what she says about like getting re upset about the same thing. Re upset. Re upset. I am a habitual re-upsetter like I keep getting upset because then I'm like, I start thinking about other scenarios or other, I look at things like a different way, maybe like a couple of days later. And then I'm like, okay, well, now I've thought about this and now I'm upset again. Um, yeah, that's definitely something that I want to know what your therapist says about.

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And I personalized both of their cards. Isaac doesn't even know that I did this because he's on vacation. So when he gets home, he'll have like a little debit card and I think he's going to be really excited. I did a shark on his and I did a football on Lincoln's because you guys know how much he loves football and I just love that they're going to be able to learn how to manage their money from a young age. And so they can get into good financial habits now rather than later.

Like me when I'm 30 and I'm just now getting everything under control. It's super important to teach kids how to manage money, building financial independence and setting them up for the future really. So teaching them how to differentiate between wants and needs and build really good habits around saving, spending and giving. I think is really important that's something that I didn't have and I want to do that for my kids and I'm 100% recommending this to you guys. So like I said, you guys can customize your kids card, they can design it or whatever you

guys want to do. For example, with the tooth fairy money, um, he, you know, Lincoln got $10 for his tooth and if he wanted to, he could put it in his piggy bank or he can have it on, like I can put it in my account, deposit it into his debit card so that he's able to see it and track it and spend it on his own time and kind of set those goals. Um, so I thought that was really cute. They can use their cards to make online purchases, go to the stores and even use the ATM in real time.

So that's pretty cool. You can set savings goals, you can make donations, you can help them learn how to budget, practice generosity, um, real time money transfers, automated allowance deposits. So if you're a parent or a guardian that likes to give their kids allowance or do something like they have to earn money or birthday money or whatever that looks like, you can do all of that through the app, which I think is really, really cool. You can read reviews, they have really, really good reviews on the app store, Google play store and trust pilot.

So if you guys want to try this, I suggest going to gohenry.com and you can get one month for free using promo code coffee. That is one month for free at gohenry.com use the promo code coffee. And I will also be talking about updates on this on the next episode because we'll have our cards by then and I'll be able to give the kids their cards. So I will keep you guys updated. Yeah. And then I also want to know who's listening, how we feel about strip clubs.

Like if you're in a committed relationship with someone, um, I've actually, I want to talk about this so bad because it's something that's just like so weird to me and I've never really understood bachelor and bachelor at parties and this idea of this is the last night that you're single. So let's go out, live it up, go to the strip club, get lap dances, you know, whatever. And it's like, it's not the last night that you were single. You haven't been single for quite some time to make it to this point. Right.

Um, that's a good point. I guess I never thought of that. I never thought about it. I actually know a couple people who have cheated, um, at their bachelor or bachelor at party. I never had like a real bachelorette party whenever I got married. It was like five of us and we went to like Thunder down under, but I was pregnant. So I didn't do anything and we literally, I didn't even drink obviously because I was

pregnant and I was, I think I was 20. So I don't even think I was legal to drink anyway. Um, I don't actually have a problem with strip clubs. I don't have a problem with bachelor or bachelorette. Like I don't actually give that much of a fuck. Um, but as far as the strip club, like going back to the incident that I was just talking about, I specifically said like, I don't care if you go to the strip club, but like, you're not going to pay for like a private dance.

Like that I don't, I was like, there's no need for that. Like there's a line that was crossed. Yeah. Like I don't, I don't want to be controlling or anything like that. And I think I've learned with my most recent relationship is like, they're going to cheat no matter what. So no matter how many boundaries or whatever, like if they want to cheat, they will, they will find a way and, um, and if they get caught, they'll just do better at cleaning

it up, um, or hiding it. And so the strip club I felt like was like inevitable. Um, I felt like at some point somebody was going to have a bachelor party or an event and that's going to happen. Just don't get a lap, like a private dance. Um, and that was not like that boundary was crossed. So because you feel like that's more like personal, like someone's actually touching you.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I understand that. I've just never understood. Like if you want to go on a bachelor's party or, you know, bachelorette trip, whatever, like I'm perfectly fine with that. I guess I'm just under the impression that things do get taken too far because I also

have heard stories that I'm just like, okay, that's just weird that that would be going on right before getting married to someone. True. This is true. Like you're saying you don't think that there should be like strip clubs, bachelor parties, bachelor. Okay. I guess I will, I think it comes from like, you're not really sing, you're not really,

um, single or how does it go? You're single until you're married. So even when you're in that like committed relationship, I do think that's kind of like played out. Like I feel like times have changed. So, um, I don't know if I necessarily like agree with like that. Um, I don't agree with your single until you're married. Like I, um, actually Khloe Kardashian had made a statement about how she didn't feel

she was asked if she would get married again. And she said that she didn't feel like she needed to be married to have the union. And I completely and 100% agree with that, that like now looking at everything, I'm like, why was the government ever involved in relationships anyway? Like who thought it was a good idea to be like, yeah, let's sign this government contract to be like bound to each other. I think it was like, um, do we know who it is? No, I know it was like a property thing.

So basically like they become property, um, like the wife does, I, I go back and forth. Actually someone asked me on my Instagram today, if I ever would get married again and I'm with you on that, like, well, it depends on the day that you ask me. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I don't, but I think ultimately it boils down to like, I would do like a wedding ceremony, but not actually a legal marriage with like papers and documents from the government because I feel like that's so weird. It's like weird. Well, and I'm just goes back to what you just said about property.

I feel like the whole idea behind marriage is so dated in this day and time that things that might have been applicable then aren't applicable today. And um, yeah, marriage, the whole idea is just dated. I feel like you can be as committed to someone in a long-term serious relationship than you can be married. Yeah. I could agree with that. Definitely can agree with that.

Um, I was going to say something about being married, uh, I don't know what it was. I feel like it, I don't remember, um, was it something about how you like loved being married or hated being married or, um, you just wish you never did it. Or what, what, what, what is it? Tell us. Um, God, it was so good and I, I was starting to type it out and then I didn't, it was something along the lines of like when we were talking about like strip clubs and stuff and we were, what else were we saying?

And like bachelorette parties and things like that, um, maybe it'll come, maybe it'll come to your mind, um, actually over the weekend, this is like kind of related, but not really related. I was watching the two, I think it was a two-part special of the Kardashians thing that they did with on bravo or whatever. And it was like this sit down interview and they were talking about their relationships and, um, being managed and things that they had done and if they regretted any of them and just, you know, like the whole like spiel and it actually made me think of you because

they were talking about how, um, this is where, I don't know if I talked about it on here or on the Southern T about Courtney and Scott and how they said that they probably would be together if it wouldn't have been for reality TV. And then they had asked him a couple of questions about like her marriage to Kanye and, um, what that looked like and how their relationships are all kind of, um, non-traditional, but like work for them. And then Kendall piped up and was talking about how her family gets a bad rap because, you know, they run men off or, you know, men become victims of the Kardashians.

And I just want to say that when I was watching that, I kind of felt bad for them in a little bit because they are so heavily followed and the microscope is always on them that, inevitably, if they are with someone who has less of a following than them is not as well known, that person is always going to be a victim of that person. And I feel like I've seen that with you too. Can you elaborate a little bit more? Yeah. Okay.

Like, like I feel like, yeah. Anytime, this isn't just like a romantic relationship, but anytime that you have been, um, in a situation that might not be kosher anymore, that someone's always a victim of, of you. And it's always your fault. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I literally, that's how it feels.

I wonder if there's a connotation with having the following, um, and people thinking that, you know, like you do all of these horrible things and like you're basically not human and what, like, I can't, I can't connect the dots on why, why that's a trend, but I've seen it with you and then I was listening to them talk about it. And I just wonder why, why it is. I will say that, um, like looking back at my other, like at my friendships that have had public falling outs, I definitely agree with you. I know that especially my trolls will always be like, kills the problem.

She's the common denominator. And I even said that with my therapist, I was like, between like my kid's dads, um, and friends that I have falling out with, like, I am the common denominator. But at the end of the day, it's like, but why does there have to be someone? It's not one person. That's a problem. Right. Like it's just the friendship.

For whatever reason, we had a disagreement. That doesn't mean that I'm a bad person because we disagreed about something to the, to the point where we became not friends anymore. Do you know what I mean? Like there's not. That doesn't mean that there was. You are the common denominator that has the camera following you. And I think that's the difference.

Right. Right. And so because of that, I think that you deal with the negative repercussions and that, you know, anytime something doesn't swing somebody else's way, then, you know, they're a victim and I don't know, I was just watching it and I was like, wow, I see like a lot of these things and kill and like how they were talking about, um, that some things they wouldn't have done differently even though they didn't look the greatest or whatever and, um, one specific thing actually they were talking about was, was filming and them having executive

producer credit and how that really comes, each of them has executive producer credit and that really comes in to play in the editing part and how Courtney and Kim had gotten into like a physical altercation and how Courtney didn't want to aired, but Kim did. Well, ultimately it was aired, but they were talking about how, um, or Kim was specifically saying that even though some of the things don't look, look great, it's a little selfish not to tell the whole story story. And so then you run the risk of not, not being authentic or like it's some stage whatever or you're picking up bits and pieces of it and I know that you can probably relate to

that too. Yeah. No, I can definitely relate to that. I definitely think that over time I've learned certain things should be filmed and certain things shouldn't be filmed, but if I'm being completely transparent, that's more of like, my kids are old enough to Google it and see these things where maybe when I, for, I, I must hobby, like that's a real thing that really occurred and that's really humiliating and embarrassing and immediately put myself into therapy, but I can explain that to my

kids now. If I was to do it today and even if I did all those things, go to therapy and everything, how would I explain that to my like, you know what I mean? Like it's just a little bit different and I know better. So I want to do better. So I mean, a hundred percent I can relate to that and I think there's certain things that I actually still wouldn't film, but not to not be transparent, but more for purposes that my kids are going to be able to see this and I don't feel like I need it to be edited

down a certain way and then have to explain the edited version down when, you know what I mean? Like it's just like a weird thing. Yes. So I can think of a specific scenario that transpired with me and, you know, cameras were, were still up and if I had to guess probably footage of, of certain stuff that never aired, actually two scenarios I can think of that this happened and had it aired, that it had looked great on anybody's side, no, but what it has shown a depiction of real

life and problems that people are dealing with, yes. And I think that's maybe where Kim was coming from, that even though it doesn't look great and it's not great, but it's honest. And I think that that, I can respect that for sure. For sure. Um, there's so many things, um, that if I had a producer credit, I feel like I would even be willing to share things that I normally wouldn't, um, because you have your hand in the editing, like you wouldn't, you would be able, yeah, yes, yeah, because it's hard

when, if I, the whole thing with like the hobby incident back in 2012, um, it's not okay, I'm still sorry and I'm still in therapy and I still talk about it and it still comes up. Like that is something that I will regret for the rest of my life and, um, I think for something like that, had I had a hand in editing it so that I knew that it was going to tell the whole story because I don't think it did, not that it would ever justify it, don't get me wrong. Um, definitely not justifying, but just saying like I would be more, I could be more transparent

about almost every fucking thing if I did have a hand in the editing so that I could see how it's going to be played out. I think that's a big thing in TV, just in general, that I hate the fact of dramatizing an already dramatic situation, right? Like it's bad enough as it is without adding in the editing, right, right, like kind of just let it play out on its own kind of, you don't need to even add in, add in any dramatics or anything like that because it's already dramatic enough. Don't you love when it's like, okay, um, there might be, you know, like some type of music

or it'll like cut to a commercial and there, there's like a preview of what's next and it's like so dramatized compared to the actual scene. It's like the lead up and then you get to the actual scene and it's like, okay, yeah, that was bad, but like it wasn't as bad as what they made it seem. Right, right, right, right, totally. I want to give an update on my PCOS food thing and just trying to keep my sugar low and my carbs at a good place. I wanted to tell you guys about HVMN.

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What is it? Notorious, the 2020 special on Glane Maxwell. Okay. Because at the same time, so yes, I sent that to you and I was wanting to watch it. But at the same time, the Chris Watts thing came on. So then I was like, well, maybe if Lindsay watched the Glane Maxwell and I'll watch the Chris Watts thing. Was it Chris Watts or Scott Peterson?

Chris Watts. Oh, I was under the impression that it was Scott Peterson. So did you watch it? I did. I didn't watch the Scott Peterson. I watched the Chris Watts one and then tell me what you found out anything good. So the Lifetime movie about like the Chris Watts situation, first of all, I just want to commend whoever casted the people who acted in the Chris Watts Lifetime movie was, I mean,

she found people or he or she found actors and actresses that look almost identical to the real life people. So I just want to say that. So good job. Kudos to whoever casted that. Good job. Lifetime. They were also casting.

Actually like pretty good. And so it was pretty much verbatim, anything that you've read, anything that was said, they had like the actor in the exact identical North Carolina Tar Heel shirt for the acting, like it was spot on. So kudos to them. I didn't learn anything new from the Lifetime movie because I had followed the case pretty closely whenever it was going on in real time. I watched the cellmate secret afterwards, which is the secrets that Chris Watts told

the cellmate. And that was kind of crazy. And that's a series. So I think that we definitely need to write that down and like watch other episodes of that because that show is kind of crazy. But there was one interesting thing that they said about the Chris Watts case. And I never thought about it until now, like until I watched it was that any other trial would take like years and years and years to like go on and happen and whatever.

And like, look at Scott Peterson, for example, like he's still going through all of this stuff and like appealing and whatever, whatever. It took two months, literally 60 days for Chris Watts to be sentenced and like put in prison for his for his crimes. I just wonder if so there's like behind the scenes things going on. Definitely some shady shit. I just wonder if it was just because it was so cut and dry and if there was enough evidence there that it sped along the process.

I don't know, but I also wonder how much there was no jury, there was no jury or anything like it was literally him and the judge. I just wonder also how much the public plays into certain cases like does the judge get sick of the, the public hoopla of like stuff that's going on that maybe they expedite whatever. Like I don't know what the law is that, you know, says how much time something can or cannot take, maybe the difference and where they reside, maybe the caseload is a lot less so they can, you know, do things a little bit faster. I'm not sure, but that is interesting that you say that about the Scott Peterson case

because that has been going on for so long. I mean, even Casey Anthony and like Jodi Arias took way longer than the Chris Watts stuff. Like what was it that expedited the entire process? I know he took a plea deal and he didn't originally admit to killing his daughters. Like he only admitted to killing Shanann and things like that, but for it to have gone through as quick as it did for the 60 day, like he, I've, this only happened in what 2018, 2019 and like everything is said and done like he's in prison. You know what I mean?

You have to watch the cellmate secrets of that one because the letters and the things that people write to, like people are in love with him. He like, I don't even have words, but what happened with Golan Maxwell? Like please update me because I need updates. Okay, so I don't know if we can like do the whole thing, but maybe we can. Basically this 2020 special was her brother's first time TV interview and there was just so much information that I didn't know. Like I think there was, there's been a lot of emphasis on, in the media on Jeffrey Epstein's

background and all of that, but maybe not as much information on Golan or maybe I just missed it. But basically how it started was, you know, giving a question of her only being charged after Jeffrey died. And the question was, is she an actual monster or is she a scapegoat and it had both. I think a combination of both and there's a reason why I'm saying specifically a combination of both that I'll discuss in a couple of minutes, but according to the victims, you know, she is just this evil woman who has no feelings and they were actually on there talking on

this 2020 special. And so her brother was an interesting character to me. There was one thing that he said in there that just was very odd that his, you know, he's on here saying that he believes his sister is innocent and that, you know, he's advocating for her. But then in the same sense, he was saying that she lived this private life that her family wasn't privy to so much so that I think in 2016 or 2017, it was in 2016, she became a wife and a stepmom and kept the marriage secret and her brother's talking about how

she took her private life very seriously. But like, if that's the case, to me, how can you be on there advocating for her saying that she's innocent if she had a whole private life? Like she was married and a stepmom and her family didn't even know about it. So I'm getting some serious like sociopath vibes, like just like no feelings at all. I don't, I kind of, I think I might take the combination thing back. But on the other hand, you're like, if you can have a double life, like you have this like one life where you have no feelings, you don't care what happens to these young

girls and then you can go home to a husband and your family and be a stepmom. I mean, I don't know how old the child or children were, but you're able to go and have like a normal life and like function as a wife and stepmom at home. I mean, even still, I mean, you have to have some feelings to do that, but also could you just be a sociopath or a psychopath and like really not give a fuck about either, but have a private life just to have a private, like I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know how you could be a wife and a stepmom and be okay going to your day job every day recruiting young girls to be assaulted by a grown man.

Well, so a little bit about her background. I didn't know like who her dad was, like where I don't know who he is, where she became connected because I always had a question like watching this, how did she and Jeffrey become connected to each other? And that was always a question that I had that I just never really looked into and kind of got the answers on this 2020. So her dad was British and one of the most powerful people. He was a media tycoon.

He owned a publishing house, tabloids and people were physically afraid of him. It was talking about and how he was super demanding and difficult. And then her brother was saying that in one moment they're, you know, favored by their dad and then in one moment that they're not. And so I think that probably through their childhood, they dealt with a lot of watching him be this powerful man and dependent on what they did and how they acted determined if they were in with him or out with him. So I think that that was an interesting part of it.

And then very early on in her life, she had a lot of power because of her dad because at 22 years old, she was among executives and she's very, very highly educated, got her education from Oxford, which is where she met Prince Andrew. I also wondered about that connection and how they knew each other and because of her level of education, her dad's power, that's how she became so heavily connected. And her dad ended up dying of a heart attack and Glaine, it had been rumored that it was a suicide. It was actually marked or whatever they call it, like as he passed away from a heart attack.

But she was convinced that he was murdered. And so after he passes away, there was some looting of upwards of $100 million from employee pension from his company. And that's when they started experiencing financial turmoil. And so Glaine was like out on her own. She just had a few friends, but not many. And a year, about a year and a half after her dad's death, that's when she was first spotted with Jeffrey Epstein.

So I did not know this about Jeffrey either, that he came from nothing, that he was a former math teacher. And then I did know that you did know that I had. And he, he was actually like a, like a, he was a fraud on Wall Street. Like he faked his way into working for Wall Street and was doing crooked things on Wall Street. Yes. And that's how he was making all of his connections, literally fake it till you make it kind of

a different thing because he went from like faking shit on Wall Street and like being fraudulent to actually making millions of dollars and becoming like the Jeffrey Epstein that we know now. So because, you know, of all the financial turmoil from the looting of the employee pension and obviously Glaine took a major hit from that and basically was broke, the theory that drew her and Jeffrey together was the fact of his money and her Rolodex. So like his money could support the lifestyle, but her connections got them where they needed to be.

And she, you know, Jeffrey was a thrill to her because she felt like, you know, she was getting her life back. She was photographed with Trump, Bill Clinton. And then it goes into talking about how in 1994 was the grooming and recruiting of women. And this one girl was on there talking about how she had been told by Glaine and her older sister had been told that 20 to 25 high achieving students were going to be going on this trip. And it was, and Glaine was going to be supervising this trip. But what they didn't know was that there was not 20 to 25 students that were going to be

going on this trip for these highly, you know, functioning individuals. It was going to be Glaine going with this girl and then Jeffrey was going to be there. I just, you don't, you must not have any type of fucking feelings if you meet somebody despite the money, the contacts, anything, but like, what the fuck? Yes. And it started, this girl was talking about how it started with foot rubs and that basically at that point, they were just very good at being able to push boundaries and not make it seem creepy that, you know, basically a manipulated situation that they took advantage

of the fact that she was young and impressionable and could, could be manipulated into doing things and not thinking that it was weird. And the reason that I say that I believe that she could be a monster and escape go is because I believe Jeffrey had her manipulated because it was believed that Glaine had fell in love with him and it was him that didn't want the relationship with her. And so I think that a lot of people can probably relate to this, that you might be willing to do crazy things for someone that you're in love with to gain their acceptance. And I just wonder if some of the things that she was doing was to make him happy and pleased

so that she was in good graces and maybe like in her mind that she thought that that would make him love her. Okay. Okay. I could see that. And I think much, much, much smaller scale. I think I can relate and a lot of people can relate to, you know, you just, you want them to love you back.

And so you'll kind of do anything like love is blind kind of thing. Even if it's not like intentional, like you don't realize that you're going doing crazy things for someone to love you, but, but for anyone who's listening to this, if you want to like follow all of it, I thought it was a great 2020 special. It was long, but it gave a ton, a ton of details and the last thing that I want to talk about before we go was basically about her bail being denied and like where she is now and how she's watched, like they're watching her every move and it's been said that she, you know, has the most horrible living conditions, has no privacy.

Because the prison states that she is being treated the same as other defendants. And it had also talked about how every 15 minutes that someone shines a light into her cell and that she can never sleep because it's always shining light in there. And I just want to know what people's thoughts are about this. Like is it, is it taking it too far should, you know, in one sense they're saying that, you know, she's being treated the same as any other defendant, but in other ways she's being watched more than any other defendant. And I just wonder if, if the jail feels that there's a risk there just due to the fact

of what happened with Jeffrey. And then also I just think that it's very insane that people with high power that come from lots of lots of money that participate in these crimes feel that they are any better than any other defendant going into a jail thinking that they deserve any kind of conditions better than what another person deserves. And I think that might be the situation here that, you know, they want her in these crisp posh conditions while she's waiting for trial, I guess, but everyone else who's there aren't in those conditions.

I have a couple of things to say and I know that we're running out of time, but I just want to say that I think people in her situation, I think that they already feel invincible, like they already feel like they have the power to get away with things like this. And to be quite honest, they got away with it for a really long time. So I think they already go into it, go, they already go into it thinking that they have a like a leg up. I will say that I can understand why they would check on her more because maybe she is, maybe they feel like there's a little bit more of a risk there if she was to harm

herself or attempt suicide and I'm not saying she's suicidal, I'm just saying after what happened with Jeffrey Epstein, like you just don't know. But in general, how do they monitor and I don't have the experience, I've never even been inside of a prison. So I don't know or like a jail, I've never seen like a jail cell. So like what is, what does that look like, like how do you monitor like, I don't want to call it a suicide watch, but like how do you monitor it so that you do make sure that nobody's trying to hurt themselves.

And that goes across the board, not just for Glaine Maxwell, but like, I don't know. Like I just, I feel like that is, I don't know if they should keep her away because I don't know if that's like, I don't know, it's like borderline abuse. I think that's what the, it was going down, you know, treading, treading that line. Like was it, was it abusive behavior that, you know, a light was shown into her cell every 15 minutes to check on her. But I think also I look back on things early on when she was arrested and all the, and even when, you know, Jeffrey passed away, all the conspiracies that were around like

why that happened and if he was actually killed and so on and so forth. So I just wonder if any of that stuff comes into play. And because she is again, so heavily connected, I mean, she's been connected to multiple presidents, like she's highly connected person. So I think that they have, they're valid in and keeping a close watch on her in that way. Oh yeah. For sure that.

So we can get like, is there ever a time where inmates cannot have guests? Like I know certain, certain people can have people come visit them or call, like, is there, how do they determine who's allowed to have guests, phone calls, things like that? Like I'm, I'm curious to know all of that. So if anyone knows anyone, like that can give us some information, like please write in DMS. I don't know, tag us in something. I'm very curious to tell us all the things, but we are way over time this week. So, um, happy listening to extra time of coffee combos podcast, and if you have not followed

us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there. And if you have not subscribed to our show, make sure you do that from your favorite podcast app. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.