Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 170: Moving House, Vacation Troubles, and Celebrity Relationship News

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

On this week's episode Lindsie and Kail are even further apart than usual as Kail vacations in the Dominican Republic. Lindsie has finally started doing showings for her house and is making decisions about what to keep and what to get rid of. And what exactly will she be doing with the things she's getting rid of? And Kail's vacation has not been all rest and relaxation. She tells Lindsie all about some traveling struggles as well as a big scare involving a minor injury. And Lindsie needs to know Kail's thoughts on some recent celebrity couple drama! Who's side are you on? This episode was sponsored by: Upstart, Paramount+, Recovery Centers of America, & Pura Vida Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License. 

Hello, Lindsay, all the way from Dominican Republic. Hello, welcome to Coffee Convos podcast from Dominican Republic. Listen, I hope you can't hear this air conditioner, but listen to me when I, oh my god, the window just opened. I need to tell you something. So I'm in this Airbnb because there's so many of us and it was just like more affordable than like a resort or whatever. And they don't believe in AC during the day here.

And so it's like super, super, super hot and I'm sitting here sweating. So I was like, when I go podcast, I'm going to close the window and doors and I'm going to put the air, the air conditioner on. So wait, what do you mean? Can you hear it? What do you mean? They don't believe in AC. Like when we first arrived here in this house, I don't know if like all, I don't think it's

everybody. I just met like the owner of this home. Okay. She doesn't believe. I should have clarified. Like when we arrived here, it was all the windows and doors are open and no AC. Wow. So did you buy an AC or did she have one or I texted her and I was, yeah, I texted her

and I was like, Hey, do you think that we could put the AC on and like close all the doors and stuff? And she was like, yeah, no problem. So that's kind of the situation. But the door, the windows here in this home, some of them are glass and then there is a window in each room that's like wood shutters and those wood shutters do not have any type of glass or screening or anything. Oh, wow.

Well speaking of AC, actually that's something that I want to talk about because last, it was either last summer, the summer before last, my AC went out and honestly nothing is worse than like trying to sleep when your AC goes out or not having like a flow of air. Like I feel like that is so horrible. And if I lived like back in the day where there was not AC in houses, I, I honestly think that God put me in this time because he knew I wouldn't have survived those times. I don't, I don't mind it. I cannot sleep when it's hot, Kale.

I cannot. I cannot. It is, I will, I will agree with you on that. It is definitely hard to sleep when it's like super like, let me not say hot when it's like really muggy, like sticky and muggy. I will say that. Like I'll pass away. This I love actually being here and I have been practicing my Spanish so much and it,

I actually, so I started taking the Spanish class online a couple of weeks ago. It was more like two months ago and I don't really know the timing actually, but I was practicing through the app and like the Spanish class and stuff and I really liked it. And then when I've got, when I got here, I have been practicing so much because a lot of them don't speak English and I love it so much because I'm, I'm learning and I asked them to correct me. Like if I'm wrong, I want them to correct me and tell me how to say it because it's just so great.

And then also Lincoln was, he's in the Spanish immersion program in school and he's been practicing. There's like a housekeeper that stays on this property when she helps like clean up and cook and things like that. And Lincoln practicing his Spanish makes me so happy because with COVID and everything and being so virtual for so long, I was nervous about the Spanish immersion program because he's not in the classroom with his Spanish teacher. But honestly, even just like the little bit that he has been able to complete in virtual

school has been so nice and I'm so impressed and like proud of him. Wait. Did Javi speak Spanish to Lincoln or how does that work? Kind of. So Javi's parents live with him right now and they don't speak English. So Lincoln hears a lot of it when Javi talks to his parents, but Javi doesn't typically talk to Lincoln. But today on FaceTime, when I was telling Javi, he FaceTime Lincoln and I was telling

him how, how honestly impressed I am that he's been practicing his Spanish here. And Lincoln told Javi, he only wants him to speak to him in Spanish now. And I was like, same, me too, only speak to me in Spanish because I want to be fluent. That is so cool. I love how you like truly get immersed into the culture of wherever you are. Remember that one time that you ate snails? It was like back when we first started podcasting, I feel like, yeah, in Europe. And I also ate chicken liver while we were there.

But isn't it eating snails or like Escargo, whatever it's called? Isn't that like a delicacy? I don't, for some, I don't remember. Did I eat it in France? Cause I'm thinking that Escargo and like caviar is French. I don't remember, but I know I ate it in one of the countries in Europe when I went. I don't know. I just know I threw up when you sent me the pictures.

So the caviar to me was super, like you don't expect the texture and the taste when you do it. It reminded me a lot of Pop Rocks and then it was like a fish and oil taste afterwards, like a crunch. Like I didn't expect that. I'm throwing up like in my mouth. I'm big on texture. Anyway, how has, how has your life been since I've been gone?

I've only been gone for three days, but how has your life been? Well, okay. I, since I last talked to you, I went to Charlotte for Katie's little girl's first birthday party and it was so freaking cute. I saw that. It looks so cute. So cute. Um, and it honestly made me wish like that I had a one year old, but then it kind of

like wore off after a little bit of time, you know, and then, um, I came home and my house went on the market and had a show and like it went on the market and within like a couple of hours of it being listed, it already had a showing lined up. So anybody who has ever sold a house knows how annoying that part of the process is and having to like be out of the house and it's even harder with having a little one home from school and like trying to like navigate all of the things and also working from home. So that was a little bit challenging today, but wait, can I ask what you do with Della while you're like, do you leave her home or do you have to take her out of the house

with you? Um, well, she's not very like scary, so I just leave her in her crate at home and she doesn't bark. Okay. She's considered like a barkless breed. So she doesn't really ever bark anyway. And so she's just fine. Like while they're here.

That's really nice. Okay. I wouldn't leave my dogs because they're scary and to most to a lot of people. Um, so, but that's really exciting. So you have your house went on the market. I didn't even know you were listing your house. You didn't even update me. I'm kind of glad because now we can talk about it here on the podcast, but like you didn't

tell me all of this. So I didn't even know that this was happening. I just like, I don't, I guess I just assumed that you were doing what I'm doing, which is like living in my house until my house is done. And then like moving and then listing it only because of my dogs and my kids, because you know, you have one dog that you can leave and then you can take Jackson, but like I would never be able to get all my dogs and all my children out of the house for a showing and make sure that my house is as clean as it needs to be.

So I'm just going to wait. Um, but I didn't even know that this was going on. So I'm congratulations. That's so exciting. Well, it honestly all just like kind of happened so fast and I am kind of doing a little bit what you're doing, but like kind of different. Um, I was really hesitant to put this house on the market until I had a for sure plan and had like a closing date.

And for a lot of people who are buying right now and buying a new construction, you will understand this when I say, um, they're not giving closing dates up until like really the last minute. And so I didn't want to put this house on the market with the way that the market is. There's very low inventory and things are going well over asking. And so I didn't want a situation to where I had to be out of here in 30 days or something, not have a place to go and feel like rushed around. So once I got my closing date on the other house, then I was okay to list this one and

we have plenty of time in between because it's taking like 30 days for people to get financing anyway. So even if it sold within like the next three days, I still have at least 30 days from then and I close in like 15 days on the other house. So okay, perfect. So are you going to do the moving yourself because this is something that I, I feel like a lot of people are mixed on either moving yourself or getting a company. What is your plan?

Okay. So didn't I tell the story about when I moved into this house, um, and Will's only responsibility was to hire the movers? Did I tell you? Yes. Okay. Yeah. And then he hired somebody off of freaking Craigslist and they tore up my hardwood floors and

they didn't even have insurance. So, um, you were like, never again, never, never again. Will that happen? Okay. So for the house that I'm moving to, um, everything is totally different over there and a lot of things I'm doing different than I did at this house. So a lot of my stuff to make a long story short, a lot of my stuff at this house won't work for that house because aesthetically it's just like totally different.

And then also like Jackson has a full size bed. I'm getting, I'm upgrading him to a queen. So like there's a, a bunch of things that like I won't be taking anyway. So I was like, I should just have a yard sale, like where I tag everything and people can just come in and like take whatever they want and then I won't have to worry about it. But then also there are some things that I am taking because, you know, obviously I've talked about on here before that I have items that hold sentimental value to me, um, that will go and I will definitely have a mover that has insurance taking those things.

Can I just say to your yard sale point, first of all, I'm not going to do that. I think I'm just going to, I'm going to sell my house like furnished, like if they want it, they can just have it. If not, I will literally donate it. Um, but my friend moved from New Mexico to Dallas last year, maybe like a year and a half ago, she did a yard sale and she made over a thousand dollars. And I, I know that sound like when you think of like all the things in a home, you don't really think that that's that much money.

But when you're thinking, okay, she had, she's, we're talking about items that she's had in her home for several years. So over time, you know, those things were not like gaining value. I feel like she made over a thousand dollars. That was like really great for a yard sale. Like I thought it was so good. Oh my gosh, it brings me back to like whenever I was a little kid and I wanted to do yard sales all the time, but I didn't have shit to sell literally, literally, I remember it

or like the lemonade stand and I'm like, well, wait, where am I going to do this? Yes. And like who's buying the lemonade for me to sell it? Honestly, like young entrepreneurship, I know, and I think Jackson always wants to have yard sales. Do you remember last summer? Like, I don't know if you remember this, but I sent you pictures where he would like make fake yard sales and he didn't even have shit to sell.

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saying he didn't want to waste his money and you were like, so what are you going to do waste mine and I didn't respond because I was going to reply to it, but I was like, let me just ask her on the podcast. What was he wanting you to buy so he didn't waste his own money on it? Okay, so I always tell him to keep him in a state of actual reality that things cost money and you don't just get them because you want them. There's a difference between a need and a want and trying to explain that to kids to get them to understand is a little bit difficult sometimes.

And he's like, I need, I need, and I'm like, no, needing is like just the necessities like you need water, you need shelter, you need food, but you want everything else, right? And so I told him, I was like, you literally have no worries in the world. Like you don't have to pay for anything. Like you just basically walk around and do nothing and you just get stuff for free. And he's like, well, I don't want to waste my money. And I'm like, okay, well, but you want all of these things, but you don't want to waste your money.

And I was trying, it was like a lesson. I was like, okay, but I waste my money. So like I have to work for those things so that you can have them. So I'm wasting my money on those things, but you're saving your money. And he keeps talking about how he wants to save his money to like buy a car. And I mean, hell, he's eight years old. So we don't really even need to worry about a car. He can't even really properly navigate a scooter.

So I'm quite terrified for when he does drive at any point. But I do like the fact that he likes to hold onto his money, but he thinks that mine's just like a free for all. But that conversation specifically was about the toys at McDonald's because they have space jam toys right now and he wants me to go every single day to like buy a toy. And I'm like, the toy is as much as the freaking happy meal. It's like $4 for the plastic China toy. Well I understand because when I was a kid, I wanted my mom to do the same or my grandmother,

mainly my grandmother, because she was the only one that took me to McDonald's. I so right before I'm so happy that they came before we left on vacation. I signed the boys up for Go Henry and they, we got to like customize their cards or whatever. And I told them like, this is going to be the way that you understand how money works because I can't, it's so hard for me to explain it in a way that they understand. Even Isaac, like he's 11, he understands how money works. But like as far as like how much you make and like Isaac asked me when we got here, he was like, so how much would like each chore be worth?

And I was like, honestly, it depends on each chore. I'm not going to give you like a flat rate for everything because you don't know. Yeah, like, I don't know. Like I just feel like unless maybe I make a chart at home, like when we get home and it's like these things equal this much money because I don't feel like it's fair because between the boys and having them at the same time. Sometimes I do delegate certain like different things and it's not the same every time and like what they fight over who does recycling and trash all the time.

So it rotates. So I feel like it can't, it's either going to be the same or I don't know if it should be the same or different and then like different tasks for us. I don't know if they should all be the same or if it's more difficult. Like for example, my, one of my dogs brought something into the yard. I want to say he like ripped up like an outdoor chair cushion and it was like all over the yard. And I, for me, I felt like that was a task that they could help me with where I should

give them a little bit more money than normal. So I did offer it and Isaac didn't really want to do it and Lincoln did. So Lincoln got paid the money. You know what I mean? So that one is one, it's not like a regular chore. And two, it was a little bit, I mean, I have an acre yard. It's pretty big, you know what I mean? So I felt like it was worth a little bit more money than like regular chores.

So like how, I don't, I guess I don't know how to do that whole thing. I'm going to divide it up when I get home and figure it out. But the go Henry cards are so cute because they, we downloaded the app and you can see like, you can teach them about like donating, you can do saving, you can do spending and then you, thankfully it doesn't allow them to overdraft or anything, but it's super cute and I'm excited to use them. And I told them that I gave them a certain amount of money for this trip and that is what they're allowed to use for this trip.

And you know, it's up to them if they, you know, decide to spend it on one thing and be done or if they get a bunch of little things or if they don't want to spend it all, but basically don't ask me for more money because this is all you're getting, you're, you're spending. Yes, exactly. I actually love this conversation because I would love for anyone who's listening to let me know what the average person is paying their kids for like chore money. And is that, I know that we've talked about this before, like, is that a thing or is that

not a thing? Should they be paid to do tasks that are just like expected tasks or is this like above and beyond things that they're getting paid for? Like how do you really determine that? Cause I feel like regular stuff, like making your bed or putting your clothes in the laundry or brushing your teeth, those are all things that like as human beings, we don't get paid for. That's just something that we do.

So would this be like they're getting paid for maybe like picking weeds or like, I don't know. Like, you know, Yeah. I agree. I definitely, I don't know what I've said in the past because I was obviously probably in a different place, but I definitely don't think that for us, like I don't judge anyone else that they do it, but I would not pay my kids like that would not be a checklist off

the tour list to brush their teeth or to get dressed or to put their, pick up their rooms. To me, that's just something that they should be doing. There are certain things where I do feel like I'm not really sure on, like I haven't really committed to one side or like one way or another. Same for like school grades, right? Like they are to be expected, right? Like you are expected to do well in school, but at the same time it's like when you get a job in the real world, you know, you're getting paid to do that work, you're getting

paid to do that job. So I just, I don't really know how I feel about that. I'm open-minded to different opinions and kind of figure my own out from like different perspectives. So, I mean, I don't really know what I've said in the past because I feel like I've kind of been wishy-washy on it. Well, I feel like it's definitely a topic that is confusing. So the wishy-washiness is understanding for a topic like this because I think it's just

hard to navigate and it's just part of parenting. Like I don't really ever remember getting paid to do any types of chores like vacuuming stairs or like anything, it was just kind of like part of, you know, you exist and use these things too. And so, you know, you contribute and I never, I can say I never got paid for chores, but it's also something that I would pay Jackson to do. We just haven't really established what those chores are, but I do feel like moving into my new house that I want to establish a new set of rules.

So like, for example, when we moved to this house, he transitioned from his crib to a big boy bed. And so he never was at this house in a crib. And so I feel like moving there, it's just like another step in life, like, okay, now you're going to be doing chores because you're big now and like, you should be doing chores and you should be contributing and helping in some way instead of just like burning up my damn gas to go to McDonald's to see what space jam toy they have today. I got, I went to Target because I was trying to put together the bags for this vacation

and there was like literally a half of the aisle was all the space jam. You don't have to tell me. I'm excited to watch that movie. I, I loved the movie. I didn't even like sports growing up. Like I absolutely was not a sports person, but I loved the movie space jam so much when I was a kid that, um, as soon as Lincoln showed a little bit of interest, I was like, oh my god, we got to watch space jam.

Like I'm obsessed. Like and my kids love it. Um, I'm excited to watch the new one. I'm nervous a little bit because as all like classics, it's hard to, even if it's a second one, it's really like Lion King too. For me, I was like, that'll never, ever, ever, ever be the same as Lion King. You know what I mean? It's so funny that you say that because I felt the same exact way when I went to the theaters,

I was thinking like, Oh, this is going to be great because like animations better and like everything's so much better now as far as technology. So this will be like really great and blow the movie, like the classic out of the water. And then I left so disappointed from the theater, just like, Oh, that blue. I will see that type. It's like, okay, on one hand, I understand like, um, them wanting to do not like a remake, but like a Lion King too, or like a space gym too, or like whatever that is, because if it's a really good classic movie, it, you know, maybe a second one would make just as

much money or be, you know, gain as much interest, but like even like frozen and frozen too, I can, I have not to this day, I have not sat down to watch frozen two from the beginning to the end because I just can't, like I just can't frozen one, like the first frozen. We loved it. Isaac loved it. Even Lincoln loved it. Lux loves it. Like even though it's like, I don't know, frozen, um, my kids, I feel like they can still

love frozen. They love it. They, well, yeah, you're right. That was, yeah, you're right. I'm thinking like all my friends, girls love it so much, but my boys really love it too. You're right. That is perfectly fine. That's so funny that you say that.

I'm like, well, they probably love it because their mom's an ice queen. Right. Well, facts. My, my heart is an ice box. So, um, um, no, but like I have not, I've seen like parts of it and it's been on while I've been home, but I, I really don't like frozen too. Like I can't get into frozen too. Okay.

Well, let me tell you, um, back to the point of target. That's also another trap for me in life. If I don't get trapped in the clothing section myself, then it's like a toy trap. And I'd gone to target to look for something specific. I think it was like for the fourth of July or something like that and start walking past a little kid's aisle, Jackson's with me. And of course they have all their space jam crap out and they had jerseys and he's been wanting a jersey so bad and he saw that jersey and like, I, I just couldn't break his heart.

Like I, I couldn't tell him no. I think that's a big problem for me. Like when he wants something like really bad, he's got like those puppy dog eyes and I'm just like, I can't, I can't tell him no. So we got the jersey, they didn't have the shorts to fit, but then he like wears that jersey. It's too big cause they didn't have his size. So he wears that jersey and he like tucks it into athletic shorts.

And I'm just like, Jackson, that looks like freaking nerd alert. Let him be nerdy if he wants to be nerdy. I'm just like, Oh my God. So wait, um, currently right now while Lux is outside, he has Creed's shorts on backwards, and inside out, and I'm just letting it rock. So you let Jackson rock and let them just live their best life. They, they are just, our kids do live their best life and I love it so much. After a year of being cooped up at home, it's time to let loose and take some risks, live

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This is day three for us and I we've already been to the emergency room. So literally, um, let me start with the stroller. Okay. So let me start with the stroller. So I absolutely love and I this is not an ad at all. I wish this was an ad because I love it so much and I, it was expensive, but it was worth the convenience. My stroller.

I love my up a baby Vista, Vista, Vista, whatever. I'm obsessed with it. I love it. Going to another country with four kids and obviously Natalie and Kayden are here and then some of my other friends are here, um, with their kids. But I getting here and landing, I was in a little bit of like a panic because it was so hot and muggy and then like making sure that my kids were like in a line, like standing against the wall or whatever.

I, I guess I forgot how to take my stroller apart, um, and I'm very embarrassed by this because just wait, um, so I got the stroller to collapse, but the actual car seat lifts off of it and the adapters, I could not get my, my car seat to disconnect from the adapters. So I had to disconnect the adapters and keep them attached to the, um, car seat and then I couldn't strap the car seat into the car because I was like, Oh my God, are these on wrong? Like did I put the wrong adapt? Cause with my up a baby Vista, I have it right now for like two children.

So it fits lux and creed, um, and so there's like upper and lower adapters and then you can like there, you can, you can do it however you want. But the way that I had it, I was like, maybe I connected it wrong. Like I don't know what happened. Like even though this is how it's been connected for like, since I got it, I don't know if I did something wrong and I was in a panic and I was making sure all my kids were in line, but I was also trying to disconnect the stroller at the, you know, when you get down the terminal and you hand them the stroller and you like check it at the, at the bottom

of the gate. Yes. And that's where I couldn't figure it out and I was like panicking cause I'm like, I don't know what I did wrong to make the car seat stroller, like not, I don't know. So we get to the Airbnb finally, um, and I'm like, all right, Natalie, let's try to pull these adapters off. Like maybe we connected it wrong and we need to fucking pull them all the way off. Like use all of our might.

It doesn't work. Doesn't, doesn't budge. I mean, at least we know that the baby Vista is safe and will not, like you will, once you lock your baby in, like he's ready to roll. So I'm like, okay, let's reattach the adapters to the frame of the stroller to see where I went wrong. Like let's try to figure out, you know, maybe I did something and I, I couldn't figure out how to do it.

So we do that. Literally there's one, and I do this every single day at home, but I think it was just like the stress of traveling and making sure everything was okay. There's literally a button and I'm going to, I'm going to post pictures on the podcast Instagram page and videos so you guys can understand like what was going on because I feel like the story doesn't make sense without the videos. I was going to send all these videos to up a baby Vista and be like, Hey, could you please tell me what I did wrong?

Like I'm not really sure what I did. I just needed to disconnect because I can't, I would not be able to put the stroller car seat in my car seat base at home if I didn't get these off. So we re, we reattached them to the frame of the stroller and Natalie literally clicked one button on the top of the handle of the car seat and it released the adapters. And I was like, I do this every single day of my life at home, Lindsay, every single fucking day. And for some reason we get to a foreign country and I lost all memory of how to work my stroller.

Oh my God, the stress that I was dealing with, the stress that I felt. I was just like, I, you know, and not for nothing, these, these strollers are expensive. So I was like, what am I going to have? Like I might as well just leave the stroller. Like I might as well just leave the car seat and get a new car seat and new adapters. And I'll just take the frame of the stroller home and leave the other stuff here. Like just forget it. I'm dead.

I figured it out. I love this story so much. And I'm going to intervene right here because I have something to compare this to my first flight that I ever took Jackson on was to freaking Hawaii, like all the way from Atlanta to Hawaii. So by myself, like, I'm pretty sure my dad was watching a show in the front of the plane. Like in first class, he was like watching a show when we got there. I remember standing up, it was like late at night and he looked at me and he was like,

is everything okay? Like was the flight good? And I'm like, I've been traveling with this child for like the past 19 hours. So yeah, everything's freaking great. We get to the little turns, we get to the little, um, what do they call the baggage claim or whatever? And there's like one little thing at the small tiny ass airport and it's going around, going around and my bag was not coming.

But like the car was waiting on us to take us to the hotel and everybody else's bags were there. And my dad was like walking by and he was like some idiot packed, um, a bunch of food and it's like busted like all over the carousel or whatever. And I was like, Oh my God, it was me. My bag had gone all over the carousel. I had like easy Mac, like all kinds of stuff that I had packed for Jackson because he's a super picky eater.

I'm also picky. And I know that we were only going to Hawaii acted like it was a foreign country, but like I needed to make sure that I had food that we would actually like. And I mean, mind you, we're going to a four season. So it's not like we were going somewhere like outlandish, um, right. So all of the stuff like is in a garbage bag at this point, like not even my suitcase production had to go and buy me a new suitcase so I could even get my things back home because it was so busted up.

They busted up my car seat, everything. So we get to the airport and I mean, we get to the hotel and the next day I'm taking a shower, Jackson's in the bath. I've washed my hair. I go to blow dry my hair and I almost set the damn four seasons on fire because my hairdryer cord got severed in the whatever happened with like my suitcase and the cord was cut. And when I went to go and plug it in and started sparking fire all over the place and I was like, okay, I'm literally going to blow the damn four seasons up.

So basically moral of the story, um, don't travel with me or kill honestly, like literally I when I told Natalie when we landed cause we, we all kind of traveled together. There was, um, me and Natalie with, with three of the kids and then Caden and Isaac kind of went to the back of the plane cause the seating was weird. Um, we landed. I told Natalie, I said, I would never travel again until like with a, with an infant until my child is two or three years old. Yes.

It's so hard, right? Yeah. I mean, the amount of shit that you have to pack for an infant or like a one year old and then like that age of like not wanting to sit still and wanting to like get up and walk the aisles and like luckily it was only a four hour flight, but we did had to add, we did add like 30 or 45 minutes because there was a storm. I think it was the like aftermath of Elsa, um, it added some time to our flight and Creed did so well, but that last like 45 minutes, it was like, okay, he was ready to get off

the plane and like be out of the plane. I, if I was to ever have another baby, I wouldn't travel, um, on a plane for at least, you know, two or three years like with, with the kids, I mean, you know what I mean? There's, and that's not being, being an asshole. That's like me looking out for my own mental sanity and, um, just like the fairness to the kids, cause I felt so stressed out at the airport trying to figure out my stroller and like losing all memory of how it worked. I just like, it was not fun.

No, there's nothing worse too. Like I feel like it adds to the stress as, as any parent that has traveled with a child, if you're on a plane and you have a little one and like they won't be still and you're trying to like entertain them or you're afraid for them to like make a noise that someone will just get like irritated with you, like the stress of that alone is so stressful to me. I'm like, yep, I'm never having another kid. Like never.

Yeah. Oh yeah. And, um, actually have, I don't think you've seen it, but we, I sent you a picture of the little poppet things, like the little sensory toys that my kids got. I went to Target right before we left cause I've heard that they're really, really, they keep the kids busy or whatever. And every single kid that I saw on the plane had one. These little poppet toy things that are like, I think they're called, Isaac said they're

called fidgets, but I did see something else that they were called like poppets or something like that. You'll have to send a picture to show me what this is. I will. I'll send a picture. I'll post a picture too and see if anyone else is, I took, I took the last, let me not say I took, I bought the last three from Target and said that there was four on the website. That's the one you sent me a picture of that you were like, it's sold out every year.

And they have, yes, and they do have them on Amazon. They have them in like tie dye colors and regular colors and all different shapes and things like that. But I'm like, I got whatever I could because I was like, well, I'll, I will literally do anything out of convenience to keep the kids busy on the plane. And I mean, it actually did work and even Creed likes them and he's not even one yet. Well, that is awesome. Send a picture, send a link, send all the things.

I also need to know about your emergency room visit and like how this all transpired. Okay. So I already know that as soon as I start talking about this, this is going to make headlines. So let me just say he, Creed is fine. He's perfectly fine. But he did. So he's, he's scaling things. He scales everything.

And I went to put him down and like he went to go grab like the edge of the table to like scale it, um, but it, it was almost like, you know, when you're like putting him down in the, instead of like putting their feet down first, they like go to reach for the table first. Yes. Yes. I mean, I'm like literally holding him next to the ground. So like if the table wasn't there, he would have been, um, like he would have just, he

would have been fine. But the table caught like the corner of his eyebrow, um, and they did tape him up at the emergency room. They put a little, um, like butterfly stitches on him, stitches on him or whatever. And, um, he's good. He's fine. He's, um, perfectly fine. And, um, but I was like, wow, uh, what an amazing trip so far between the stroller

and the ER. I, I definitely kill in the chaos, um, definitely holds, holds true and its name holds true. Very true. No. So okay. On Monday morning, I was like, I don't really, it was a day that I was going to sleep in because I traveled all weekend. So I, and Jackson wasn't coming home until later in the afternoon.

So I was like, I'm going to, you know, just like get an extra hour of Z's. And I wake up to look at my phone, knowing that I'm going to be recording at 11. It's like nine something. I look at my phone and I've missed a call from Kristen. I have missed text messages from Kristen and I'm like, Oh my word. Like what's happening? Like I just woke up from like a slumber and now there's a damn emergency. Like, I don't know what's going on.

And Kristen was like, Hey, can you record at these other times because Kale's not going to be able to record at this time because Creed's on his way to the ER. And I'm just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, why are we worried about recording right now at this moment? Like, secondly, like the ER, like what's happening? Like what? I have, this is my first out of all of our trips. Like I'm, I think I've been to, at this point, I think I've been to like 15 countries and

I've never, I'm trying to think if I've ever been in any other country to an ER and I don't think I have off the top of my head. This is definitely the first time and I, the panic, the sheer panic and I was just like, I, I literally, and I hope he does not get mad at me for saying this, but I had to call Javi for him to translate the whole thing because I was so upset. And like I said, my Spanish has been good enough to get like us around and like talk to the housekeeper, the housekeeper who's so sweet. She's the sweetest lady I've ever met.

And she got us there and then I called Javi and I was like, I'm freaking out. Like I need help translating. And so Javi is going back and forth with the doctor for me and translating for me. Wow, the one time that Javi really comes in clutch, honestly, like I have never needed him to come through harder than what he did for me yesterday and I, I should send him, I should honestly send him an edible arrangement, honestly. We should send him an edible arrangement from coffee convos podcast. Like thank you so much, I will say yes on, you know what, I'm going to, I am going to

do that. And it's going to say love Lindsay and Kale. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I mean, what would you have done? Like if we did not have fluent like Spanish speaking coffee in that situation yesterday, also like very high stress situation where I don't, I don't know, like I honestly don't know what I would have done yesterday just because it was so, it was such a high stress

situation. And like I asked the housekeeper in Spanish if she could come with us and she was like, yes, I'll show you where it is, like we're good. She took us there. Like she didn't take us there. She got us there with the directions. Oh, and let me just tell you, when I booked my vehicle, the rental vehicle to be here, I did get a 15 passenger van because like I said, there's so many of us and I didn't

want to have to get like 12 different cars, like everyone to pay for their own. So we all just got one big 15 passenger van and leave it to me not to leave, not to read the fine print. Nobody, none of us knew that it was a five speed, which is fine because Natalie and I can both drive five speed. Yes, but I have never driven a 15 passenger van, let alone a five speed 15 passenger van. But Natalie literally took the reins on that one and she has held it down because she got

us and she doesn't understand a lick of Spanish. Like she doesn't even like Natalie is not, she doesn't know any Spanish. And so I am trying to hold Creed and like keep his cut, like pressure on his cut. And I'm translating basically for the housekeeper to Natalie for the directions. Stop. Like, yeah, where was the cameras when this was going on so that I can have a visual literally, literally, literally, I cannot even like, and I'm calm right now and telling the story.

But if you would have seen it like through like just been a fly on the wall, you would have been like, I, this is honestly like, where are the cameras when we need them? Because they wouldn't, this would never happen at home. Like I don't, of course it wouldn't. Like of course it would not happen in a foreign country where I don't know the language very well. I can't. No, I get so stressed when like somebody gets hurt or like something like bad is going

on. Like I don't know how to act and I just start acting all kinds of crazy. I get so mad and like frustrated. I'll never forget like one time it was pouring down rain outside and will had these crocs. This was like years ago. He had these crocs that he literally wore the tread like off of the bottom. And I kept telling him, you have to throw those away because it's going to get wet one day and you're going to slip and bust your ass.

Well, he came in from the truck, grabbed Jackson, went to run through the garage and he slipped and those crocs like hit the ground just the right way with the water and literally on his ass and has Jackson, I mean, imagine like the Lion King, like where he's like holding him up. That was Will with Jackson and I'm screaming and I'm like, well, if you wouldn't have been wearing those crocs, Will's bleeding like from his elbow, like completely gashed open. Jackson's perfectly fine. And I'm like, well, if you wouldn't have been wearing those crocs that this wouldn't have

happened. Like as if that was the time for all of that to be going on. To talk about. Yeah. Right. Right. I believe it to the trolls after this podcast episode comes out, they're going to say that you don't love Will and want nothing to do with him and they're going to say that I don't

take care of my child and I obviously wasn't watching him and I don't take, I don't take good care of him. So that's why we ended up in the ER on this trip. So just know that those headlines are going to come out. I don't care what the trolls say. Trolls be trolls. Just letting you know. We be trolling.

We be trolling. I cannot wait. Okay, so in completely other news, completely unrelated, I talked about this a little bit on the Southern T just because I wanted to get Katie's like precious little thoughts behind these relationships. But people have been asking for us to talk about this on coffee combos. So many times that I'm just like, okay, we finally have to talk about it. Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker and machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox.

Okay. So, okay. So Courtney Kardashian, Travis Barker, machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox. What about them? How do we feel about them? Yeah. I need to know like all of your opinions about it because I'm so opinionated about these relationships.

I just need to vent. Okay. I love Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker mainly because I do love Courtney Kardashian and I also love Lincoln 82 and Travis Barker and I've been a Travis Barker fan for a long time, maybe not a fan, but like I've always liked him and appreciated him. Machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox. I cannot say the same honestly only because I'm very, very, very, very loyal to Eminem and I don't like the beef that machine gun Kelly and Eminem had and I know it's part of

the game and all of that. But naturally I cannot stand behind Kelly on this. I am an Eminem and Eminem family only so I don't support anything machine gun Kelly does. So that's how I feel. Okay. Well, first of all, I knew that you were going to say the thing about machine gun Kelly mainly because of Marshall, but I mean, come on, like, they look cute together.

I will say that I will definitely give credit where credit is due machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox. They look cute together. They very do. Okay. So I think it's basically like the same couple, but just like duplicated. I feel like like machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox and Courtney and Travis, like it's like the same vibes going on to me.

Just Oh, very, very, very much the same vibe. Just a different couple. And like when they started hanging out with each other and they were like spotted and like paparazzi photos, I was living for it. So I'm sorry. Wait. Time out. Time out.

Yes, ma'am. The couples were hanging out together. Like all four of them. Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. And that I did not know and like I could get behind that. I could definitely get behind that. And I love that.

Like that is same vibes. Like they have a lot in common for sure. Like I love it so much. And actually a guy that I dated and then will, this was a guy dated like when I was in high school. We I've always been obsessed with Megan Fox. Like I love her so much and I think she's like the coolest girl ever. And so I don't know the men that I've been with just like really aren't huge Megan Fox

fans and thinks that she's weird. But like I love her weirdness and I stand behind it so much. And I think that she definitely is personality a lot like Courtney. And I feel like I'm personality a lot like that too. Like very straight laced, like knows exactly what they want out of life, um, dedicated to motherhood. Megan's not a mom, but like dedicated to motherhood. Yes, she is.

Isn't she a mom? Yes. She is a mom. I didn't know she had a kid. Yeah. Is that a scam? Fox has kids. Okay.

So no, because there was a whole, there was a whole scandal about, um, Megan Fox and her ex-husband. What? And the kids and like posting them on social media and things like that. Yes. She definitely has children. Okay. So multiple children, even, even better that she has children like love it so much.

And I feel like that, um, girls that fall in like that particular category, like type of girls always tend to go towards someone who's like not quite as straight laced. And um, I really just like live for it so much. I was actually talking to a friend the other day that was talking about Travis Barker and his sobriety and how he's been sober for like 10 years. And um, he was in like a horrible playing crash with friends and like facing your death experience, I guess is what you call it. And then kind of like got his life together and I love that so much.

I just wonder, um, like Courtney, just to me seems like such a perfect human being. If there is such thing as like a perfect human being, she goes for like a Scott and a Travis. So I wonder like what the deal is with that. I, are you saying because they're so different or because, yeah, um, I feel like maybe in Travis's past, he might have had a lot of similarities to Scott, but he's like reformed now, I guess would be the word and 10 year sober. So I just wonder like if it's just exciting, like what, what is it? Um, yeah.

I don't, I'm not sure what it is, but I, I love the vibes. I also love how straight laced they are. But going back to when you said that like the people that you hang out with are not huge like Megan Fox fans and that she's weird, what, I don't, I'm not super familiar with her. I know who she is. Obviously I used to watch the Transformers movie. I'm big on action movies.

Like those are my kinds of movies, but, um, is she weird? No, I don't think she's weird at all. But like literally multiple people have told me, I'm not going to call them out specifically on this podcast, but multiple people have told me that they think she's a weirdo and she's just very different. And you know what? I, I love her so much for being so different and I stand behind Megan. Okay.

Megan, Megan, Michael and Megan Fox just to be clear. Okay. Okay. You said understood. Okay. Okay. Are you guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our partners at Pira Vita and I am super excited about this partnership.

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So if you guys are interested, Pira Vita, look good and do good to get 20% off your Pira Vita order, text coffee to 38817. That's coffee to 38817 to get 20% off at Pira Vita. Just apply available at Pira Vita bracelets dot com slash terms text coffee to 38817. Oh my gosh. Wait. Okay. So moving on to the next thing I found this article that I didn't know like what this meant.

So maybe you have heard about this before, before I start reading it. It's something called still thing. Have you heard of this? No, I've never heard that word before. You've never heard this word still thing. Still thing? Yeah. Still thing.

Like. A non-consec, all non-contential sex is harmful, dangerous and possibly criminal is what this article says. It says. Still thing. I said. S-T-E-A-L-T-H-I-N-G. The article says I said you have to wear a condom a couple of minutes later.

He didn't. So it says she's talking about having sex with him that was consensual until he removed his condom without her knowledge or agreement and act known as still thing. That happened to me. Wait, this happened to you? That happened to me. Wait, do you care to tell like more about this? Like obviously not details of who this happened with, but like.

I wrote about it in my book. You did? Wait, which book? Pride over pity. Okay. My, my mom at the time told me that that was a form of rape. Okay. This is what this is basically saying.

So it says Grace was having consensual sex with a man she was seeing. I know it shouldn't matter, but it was in the middle of the day. We were sober. There was a condom within arms reach. There was no ambiguity about the situation. Funnily enough, we'd actually had had the conversation. I said, this time you have to wear a condom and he said, yeah, of course. And then a couple of minutes later he put, well, let's put it this way.

He didn't. This may not, um, it says this may not quite arise to Arabella's definition of still thing. Um, but what constitutes consent is an area that wasn't always clear until the 2017 criminal law, um, sexual offenses act, which says that a person consents to a sexual act. If they are freely and willingly agree to engage in the act. So if the nature of the act they've agreed to is protected sex and someone deceitfully removes that protection, then the other person is mistaken as to what is happening because they're mistaken.

It is now set out that if the, if the intercourse occurs, there is a case to be made for rape. It is non, um, consensual at the time that the person removes or does not put on the condom. Yes. So it says, so what about in Grace's situation? The communication between them was that the sex would be protected and it wasn't. So she was mistaken. It's extremely serious and very clear in our law.

If there is deceit, then it is straightforward. There's grounds for saying that there was rape. I personally, if, I mean, I, I agree because you're agreeing to protected sex because you're trying to protect yourself, there's health, you know, you, you're protecting your health, your health rights, all of that, all of that, um, I'm not going to say too much because I tell the entire story in my book, um, and I, I close that chapter literally and figuratively, um, but read it and I will actually, I'm going to go back and see like what exact pages it is.

Cause when I, when I finished Pride over pity, I was done with it. Like I, I have not thought about a lot of things that have been in written in there since they have been written. Um, but yes, that happened to me and I agree. And I do think in my personal opinion, I do believe that is a form of rape. How do you feel about it? I also believe that it's a form of rape because I feel like if you have made it very clear, um, that you want to engage in sexual intercourse with someone, but you want to be protected

while doing that, then at the point that it is not protected sex, then that is rape. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Um, and that's really sad because pregnancies happen that way and, um, you know, it's, it's hard because I, you'll, you'll get the group of people that is like that believe, well, you agreed to have sex so, you know, it isn't rape, but I, I don't know that I agree with that because you're, you're agreeing to do some things very specific.

And if it's clear that you're, you want to be protected, then I, and someone is being deceitful on purpose. It's not like it fell off. You know what I'm saying? It's, they deceitfully removed it and they're being dishonest and now someone's health is at risk, you know, or, or pregnancy could be there, you know, so, or could happen rather. Um, and, um, yeah, I don't, I just wanted to, I didn't even know that. That was a term.

I didn't know when was that written? Was that recent? Yeah. It was recent. I was actually just like scrolling through news and it, I just happened to like run across it. So it was like within the last two weeks that I saw it and I was like, wait, I kind of want to talk about that just because I didn't know, again, I had never heard the term and

you're pretty. I've never heard that term. I feel like you're pretty like onto new terms and stuff like that. If there's something going on and there's like some type of word that's being used for something, I feel like you're always in the know. So I'm just shocked. I had never heard it. And I was like, this would definitely be something Kale had heard about.

And I expected you to be like, yeah, I know exactly what that is. Um, so no, and actually it's the opposite. And when my mom, you know, everyone who follows teen mom knows that I don't have a relationship with my mom and my mom has done a lot of questionable things in my life. That was one thing at the time where I felt, um, and I, I don't know. I don't remember how much I wrote about it now and also in hindsight, like I, I'm looking back and thinking about it now. I know for a fact when my mom said that it was a form of rape, I didn't know how to feel

because I felt like I, I felt like it was, and I believed her. And I knew that it was, it was very deceitful and dishonest, but at the same time I agreed to have sex, um, and, and well, I mean, I'm talking about more, this is, that's not the only time it's happened. So I'm talking about multiple times in my head and it's not clear, but if you read the book, you'll understand. Um, I didn't really know how to feel because it was, um, how does someone in that situation feel?

You know what I'm saying? Like is it rape? Is it not rape? It's a very confusing thing, especially for someone so young. I was going to say from an emotional standpoint, I feel like that's very confusing and definitely something that would be hard to emotionally navigate, um, yes, and especially when you are having sex with someone and thinking that they are protected only to find out that like after the act is done, that they weren't is a whole other level of processing that I feel

like would be very, very difficult and would take some time to, to process. So I just, I want to know, um, obviously this is a very, um, what would you say? Like a topic that hits very, it's like very personal, I guess is the word I'm looking for. Yes. I don't expect people to write in and be like, Oh, this happened to me or whatever, but I just want to know what people think about this because I think when topics like this come up, um, it creates some form of awareness whenever we're talking about it, even though

they're not easy topics to talk about. Um, but if you'll get those page numbers from the book from where you wrote about it and yes, let everybody, I think really quickly before, um, we end that, I will say that I think people who it's never happened to could have, um, they don't think it's as sensitive as it is, but for people who have gotten STIs or STDs or been pregnant because of that, because of a situation like that, it, it is more sensitive or more, um, personal. You know what I mean? Where it's not like you have sex with your boyfriend and you know, and I'm not saying

it's okay. So don't take it that way. I'm just saying some, when, when I guess I don't, I don't want to say this with being without being controversial, like I don't want to be controversial, but say I had a boyfriend and I, and I, and it happened and I didn't get a disease or an STI or pregnancy or anything like that. I, I could be very upset and feel very hurt and feel very, um, you know, betrayed, but for, or, or for the people who have, it has never happened to, they might not be like,

well, no, you agreed to the sex. So no, it doesn't matter if they took it off or not, but what about the people who did not agree to it and they got an STI and STD, a pregnancy, things like that. I agree. That is, do you get what I'm saying or am I being confusing? No, no. Okay. I don't, I don't want to offend anybody.

I'm not trying to hear. I'm not trying to, trying to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm trying to like navigate my thoughts right now. I think first people that have, it has never happened to it would be very hard to understand. Agreed. Um, you know what we didn't get to cover and I feel like we should at least like partially cover and then we can save the rest for next week is trauma bonds because it's something that I've had written down for so long.

Okay. We can talk about it or we can wait until next week. Either one is fine with me. I feel like we should just talk about what trauma bonds, what it is and, um, have people maybe write in and tell us about some experiences that they have had so that we can share other people's experiences as well as ours. Um, I think that would be super helpful for people. Okay.

So trauma bonding is, um, there are emotional bonds with an individual that arise from a reoccurring cyclical pattern of abuse per perpetuated, perpetuated by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments. The process of forming trauma bonds is referred to as trauma bonding or traumatic bonding. Um, I don't think that's very clear for certain people. Um, so if you want to put it in simpler terms, feel free. Um, I feel like trauma bonding in simpler terms is having a relationship with someone that you know, traumatic things have happened, but you basically bond with them because of

the trauma, right? So in another, in medical news today.com it says, um, trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. It occurs when the abused person forms an unhealthy bond to the person who abuses them. And an example of this is Stockholm syndrome. Um, and I actually have a novel written about Stockholm syndrome and it'll be coming out next year, um, because I feel like I have gone through this and I feel that I've, my mom, my relationship with my mom is very similar to or is trauma bonding.

I also feel like some of my romantic relationships have been trauma bonds. I think that, um, I've got to be very careful with what I say. Um, I definitely feel like relationships that I've had in my past, um, I tend to feel bad for bad things that have happened to me and I feel bad for the people that have done bad things to me and I catch myself and I never knew what it even was. Like I didn't know why it was having those feelings. Like I felt deeply that something was wrong with me because why would you feel bad for someone who did something horrible and heinous to you?

Like why would you, why would that make you feel bad, um, for them? Uh, yes, yes. I, I can heavily relate to this and I think a lot of people don't understand some of my relationships and one in, in particular that I'm not going to specify, but people who have followed my story will get an idea of who it is. Um, in the same article, it says a trauma bond is a connection between an abusive person and the individual they abuse that typically occurs when the abuse person, oh, I think I already read this, um, begins to develop sympathy or affection for the abuser.

This bond can develop over days, weeks or months, but not everyone who experiences abuse develops a trauma bond. I personally developed a trauma bond to my abuser. That is what I know that for a fact. I also have talked about this in therapy, um, when I found out what a trauma bond was because I was setting out to find out what the hell was wrong with me. Like why was I feeling this way and that could not be a normal thought process. Like why, why would I ever feel that way?

And not until I talked about it in therapy, did I realize what a trauma bond was, um, why I feel the way that I feel and not until I really, um, started talking about it with my therapist openly and was honest about why I was feeling the way I was feeling and talked through it. Did I realize, um, that it wasn't healthy, obviously, but I was able to break that bond. Um, I guess is what you would call it. And I don't feel that way anymore, but I could see where someone who does not break that bond and continues to like repeat this, I could see like why the cycle would be repeated

because you continue to feel bad for the person that's doing these things to you. So then you just like go back to it. Yep. That's how it was with my mom for a long time. And in terms of like parents and caregivers, this says a person may develop a trauma bond because they rely on the abusive person to fulfill emotional needs. For example, a child relies on their parent or caregiver for love and support. If that caregiver is abusive and the child may come to associate love with abuse.

So believing that this association is normal, the child may be unable to see the abusive caregiver as bad at first, like as you're, when you're a child, right? Like we don't expect that our caregivers are bad. We just think that this is the way it is. So it says the child may instead blame themselves for the abuse as a way of making sense of what is happening to them. This allows the caregiver to continue being quote good in the child's eyes, which reinforces their bond.

And then it talks about, um, the cycle of abuse and the remorseful behavior may also cause the abuse person to feel grateful, particularly if they have become accustomed to poor treatment. This also reinforces the bond. I'll post this article on here. Um, I, I've had all of that. I have gone through it. Yes. Same, um, with caregivers and with, um, like romantic partners.

It's really weird too. Um, the way that it makes you feel like if almost like if something bad isn't happening or something, you feel like at that moment, you feel like you want something back. It's really bad to happen. Cause that's the only way that you can connect without other person. Does that make sense? Right. Um, I, I definitely want to get into this more and I want to actually see if maybe my

therapist or somebody, um, I actually would love if my actual therapist would come on and talk about this. I want to ask her if she's available. Um, I, I really want to get more into this and I don't know why we've never talked about it before, but I feel like this is a really interesting topic and some people might not even realize that it's happening to them or that they're in a situation like this. Yeah. If you've ever felt like, um, someone particular in your life has reoccurringly done similar

things to you over and over and over again, but you're feeling bad for negative things that they have done to you, then this might resonate with you and I would love for anyone to send us messages. I don't have to put it publicly like on the comments or anything like that, but if you want to send messages so that we can anonymously read some of them, um, I feel like that would be super helpful for other people who are listening. Um, but I know that you have to get back to your kids and we're out of time and you're on vacation.

Um, so if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there. And if you have not subscribed to our show, you can do that by searching the purple podcast app on any Apple device, type in coffee combos, click subscribe, click the fit star and leave us a written review. And you can also find us on Spotify or any other podcast app. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.