Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 175: Access to Communication, Being Open, and Never Say Never Relationships

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

On this week's episode Kail and Lindsie have a lot to discuss! First, Lindsie talks about her decision to get Jackson a phone. Having access to parents and family members can be helpful for transitioning to the new normal after such a big change. And Kail talks about her son's phone habits and what she does and does not want them to be doing. And Lindsie opens up about several allegations that have recently been made against her. Plus Kail and Lindsie discuss tough relationships they have navigated and whether or not they can see a future where things change. This episode was sponsored by: Chime, Echelon, & KiwiCo Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License. 

All right, we're on the air. Welcome to Coffee Compose. I feel like the introduction changes every single time now, and I never know what to be prepared for. And I love it, actually. I feel like there's like a show or something and it's like, are we on the air? Or it's a song. Do you know what I'm talking about? Are you okay? No, I'm not. I am fine. I'm good. Do you know what song I'm talking about? I feel like it's like an old school hip hop song and it's like, are we on the air? And the song starts. If someone can name that song, I will give you a $50 Starbucks gift card. I swear to God. I hope like 12 people do it. Oh, I didn't think of more than one. It's

a hip hop. Are we on the air? Kill. I'm trying to think of what song it is, but it's like in the beginning. It's whatever. I love that you know the tune as well. You're like, are we on the air? I think it's Missy Elliott. Somebody's getting a $50 gift. The first person, not all the people that get it. The first person that sends in the song. Listen at her trying to clarify now that she's gone out on a limb and broke her neck for the $50 gift card. Oh my gosh. What have you been doing? Listen to me when I tell you that yesterday I took a two hour nap at like 7pm because I was so tired. Like, have me, me, Lincoln's coach Jamal and his speed trainer, Steve, all did speed training camps all weekend.

We did one in New Jersey and one in Newark, Delaware yesterday and I, we had so much fun and it was such a good turnout and we just did so much, but they were long days because the one in New Jersey, we went the night before because it was a three hour drive. The camps are three hours long, then you clean up, you know, all the things and then three hour drive back. So it was, it was a long day on Saturday and then Sunday, even though it was close or like, these are long days, you know what I mean? And you still have to do like other things in the day. So I took a two hour nap at 7 o'clock at night and then I couldn't sleep all night and then I woke up with my period, but I just had my period 10 days ago

and I looked at my app and I was like, this can't be right, but it, it's definitely right. So I need to like message my little, not my lawyer, them to TMI, I got my period. No, I got to call my, my GYN and see what's going on, but we've just been so busy and I, I'm so excited to do more of these speed training camps. Like I'm so pumped. Okay. First of all, I have a couple of things I wanted to say to you about this. One, I thought that this story was going to go very differently and I thought you were going to say that you and Javi and the coaches all collectively took a nap. That's what I thought this story was going. And then the other thing that I would like to say was I watched you

run routes or whatever the heck you were doing on your story. I kept clicking back and like watching it because I was just cracking up. I was expecting that I had fricking Birkenstocks on. So I don't know if Birkenstocks needs to sponsor me or make a cleat version of their story. But Steve called me out there and I was like, I looked up Lindsay and everyone had their phones recording and I was like, somebody called TMZ because I know this shit's going to end up there. I was so embarrassed, but it was fun. It was funny. And no, I was, I, I just feel so grateful. Like I don't know. And like last week I had such a productive week. Remember last week we talked about being productive and things like that. And my whole

entire week was productive. And it just felt like as busy as it was and it's good stress. You know what I mean? Like it was good stress. And I have cried tears of like thankfulness several times in the past week, like just so at peace, thankful, like happy. And just seeing the kids happy. I love these football kids. Like they're my own. Like I literally am like, I'll tell the parents yesterday after the camp. I was like, if anyone needs a ride home, like just let me know. Like cause three hours is a long time for a parent to stay at cause I have a suburban and yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm used to this, you know, and it takes a village. Like anyone who needs a ride from football, whatever, like let me

know, I'll take them home. And I just feel so fulfilled. And I feel like I, the parents from football have become like friends and it just feels good because you know that we all have something in common. It's like an organic friendship. Like I know it didn't come from anything else other than like our kids playing together. You know what I'm saying? Like it didn't come from any ulterior motive. It just feels right. And then you found your calling. Yes. And it's just like the speed training camps. I was like, the fact that's I let me just tell you so many people that Lincoln plays football with or has met in football. Like those parents know us. They don't know us from the show. They know us

from football. And the fact that they believed in us and came and signed their kids up and showed up and like the support that I felt, I was just like, cause it wasn't, it wasn't support for me, but it just support for what we were doing. And they believed it because $200 is a lot of money. Like that's a lot of money to put towards one training session. You know what I'm saying? Like we, we know that. And the fact that some of these parents like and, and companies really, because companies sponsored us too was like, they believe in what we were doing. And for it to be successful, like I, I just feel so grateful and the amount of feedback that we've had from companies or people, like we've had individual people

say, Hey, we can't make it, but we would love to sponsor an athlete and we'll send the $200 for us to get a kid to play. And to have that be possible was just, um, fulfilling in ways that I have not been fulfilled before. You get what I mean? I love that so much outside of loving that so much. It's been awesome to be able to see from the inside looking in, but also I'm sure for people who are listening and who do watch the show, that it's nice to see you and Harvey in this place of being able to coexist, co-parent, but even beyond co-parenting, be able to do what you're doing. And they're not be like an issue. And I love it so much to that point. Can I just say, um, Harvey and I were arguing

before the camp started yesterday. No, but listen, this is a good story. And this is the shit that I'm like, I really, truly wish that they would film this. Like I would give them unlimited access at all times if this is the stuff that they would film. So yesterday, let me tell you, um, then we can move on. Um, I just wanted to say this yesterday on the way to the camp, we were arguing because I wasn't clear on what time I needed to be at the training facility to like set up. Like we just, I, I felt like it wasn't clear, but Harvey felt like it was. And so I ended up getting there before him, but he cussed me smooth out, right? But then he gets there and pulls up to the training facility. And

it was like, we flipped a switch and it was like, okay, we're both here now. We're here for Lincoln. We're here for these other kids. We're here for Steve. We're here for Jamal. Like we are here. We are present. Whatever you cuss me out about or whatever, just, um, just miscommunication that we had prior to pulling up to this training facility completely on the back burner. And we got along all day. It was good. There was no like, cause in the past, like any relationship I've had, do you ever try to put feeling like you, you have to be in front of people. So you try not to fight, but then it's like, you know, how it goes. It's so hard sometimes. Like it is so fricking hard.

It's like driving to Christmas and like y'all were like dog cussing and then you get out and it's like, Hey, how is everybody? But sometimes it's hard to do. And yesterday it was like, we flipped a switch and it was like, okay, we're here. We're getting along. Like everything is good. There was no like, I didn't have like a weird unsettling feeling. I didn't feel anxiety from it. It was just like, he said what he had to say to me. I told him how I felt. We showed up. We were there for Lincoln. We were there for the kids. Like I, it felt so good. And to your point about like co-parenting and stuff, like I almost wish that they would have filmed him cussing me out, but then us both, both of

us walking into the training facility and putting on the camp, you know what I mean? Like that to me is what I want to show. And I just, it felt good. And I loved all of it. And I just cannot wait to do more speed training camps. Like I can't, I cannot wait. Okay. So did y'all revert back to the cussing out or did it just like go away? No, it pretty much just went away. Like he was like, I'm still mad. He called me about something like regarding the camp and he was like, we said what we had to say. And then he's like, I still hate you. And I was like, I still hate you too. Bye. And it was like, you know what I mean? Like just like funny, but like we're working it out. Like not in

a relationship way. I'm just saying like we're working out whatever it is. But yeah, I just feel, I feel good. I feel fulfilled. I feel happy. Lincoln's happy. But he coached them all took the kids to, he used to play at Rutgers and he took the whole Gator Delaware Gators that was sponsored by coffee combos team to Rutgers for, I guess it was like a training or whatever. And I texted Lincoln and I was thinking to myself like, you're the worst text or ever. I texted him, I said, Lincoln, be on your best behavior today. Please use your manners. And like, don't be cussing. Don't be doing anything because it's just Jamal with the whole team. And he goes, okay, I love you. Bye. And I'm like, you are your

father's child. I was just about literally that was what was on my tip of my tongue. I was about to say that is hobby. Yeah. Okay. Bye. It was okay. Bye. Love you. I'm actually I'll post it on Thursday. And then I sent him a video and we're screenshotting our kids now. No, yes, because I'm like, we've gone to the next level. Can I please have some more feedback than that? Like, okay, mom, yes, ma'am, like whatever. I sent him a really cool reel that Emily got from the training and he goes really cool. That's all he said. Really cool. No emojis. No nothing. Just like a dry ass. Really cool. I'm just like Lincoln. No emotion. I can't. Oh my gosh. That makes me devastated.

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applies to debit card purchases. Limits start at $20 and may be increased up to $200 by Chime. Early direct deposit depends on the payer. Out of network cash withdrawals fees apply. Third party and cash deposit fees may apply. Go to chime.com slash combos for details. Can you please also talk about the, the picture that you sent me of Jackson last night because that was the sweetest. Okay, go. Which one? The video that I sent you because I can't talk about the video of him calling that person out. No, no, no, no, no, you can't talk about it. But the picture in his bed. Okay, so yeah, we are officially fully into my house, which is super exciting. I've been here for a week. Your room is amazing. Thank you. I can't wait

to like personalize everything, but pretty much all like the stuff is here. I just need to get like the personalized stuff up. But it's a work in progress. Jackson has been sleeping in my bed with me for several nights. And I felt that that was okay because this is all very new to him. Yeah. And because we have discussed that we co slept for so long that I feel that that's just a level of comfortability for him that if that's what made him comfortable to be here to get used to it, I was okay with it. But I told him on Saturday night, because I was trying to like lay down the law, I was like, okay, so you're going to sleep with me tonight if you want to. And then on Sunday night, you

have to sleep in your bed because you have school and we all need to get good rest. And I don't know anyone else who has single moms who are listening to this, but I do think that there is value in the time that when you put the kids to bed or your child to bed, that you have like a little bit of a long time between the time they go to bed and the time that you go to sleep. Yes. And that's just not possible with co sleeping with him in my bed. So I laid upstairs with him last night and scratched his back until he fell asleep and it took only like 15 minutes and he was perfectly fine slept all through the night never came out of his room. So we are adjusting. I mean, obviously I have received

lots and lots of questions about the adjustment and I can get more into that, you know, at another time when I'm a little bit more comfortable, but there are things that have been harder than other things and some things that have been easier than what I expected. And I'm just trying to take it day by day and question by question and moment by moment, because I just have to kind of go with it. Unfortunately in situations like this, there's not really a plan, right? Like you can't plan for what questions your kids are going to ask or how they're going to feel about things. No, totally. I definitely what I wanted to say, I mean, I've already told you privately, but I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you for you've handled

this with such grace and just I, I hope, like I said, I said this to you before, like I hope I can handle really, really tough situations like this in the future, like you've handled this and I think you've done such a good job and I'm, I'm excited to see what the future holds for you guys. And I know, like we've talked about, it's not super ideal, but I think you're going to, you're, you're going to even be proud of yourself. You know what I mean? Like given the circumstances and everything else, you're going to, you're going to look back and be like, you know, you made the best decision you could for yourself for Jackson. And yeah, I think you will be surprised at what you, what is hard and what is, comes

a little bit more easy. And some, even sometimes that's ever evolving and ever changing. So I'm excited. I'm really excited to see your house too. So I don't know if I said that last week, but I'm ready. Well, I can't show everyone everything yet because I don't have my light fixtures in and I feel like that changes the whole vibe. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It does. Yes. So I want it to be like the entire confection, but back to your point. And maybe you can relate to this in some way. I feel like in just this short period of time of, I'm calling this like interim transition, right? Like it's very new, but I've found things about myself

or rediscovered things that I did whenever I was living alone without anyone that I'm doing again. Right. Yeah. And some of them might, it might feel good. You know what I mean? Like even though the circuit, you get what I'm saying. Like it's still, it might feel good. I feel like it's literally like that, um, the show sex life where she's like fantasizing about who she was prior, even though, you know what I mean? You get a little piece of who you were before you were married back. And I'm not saying that's a, you know, a great thing, but it will feel good to start to feel like yourself again, even if it's a new version

of you. And then there is some sadness and I know that you can relate to this as well because I feel like when you go through, whether it's a long-term relationship and there was never marriage involved, um, or you, you've just been with someone for a very long period of time and they've had a huge imprint on your life for a long time. And in my case, 12 years that I find myself mourning the loss of a person who is still alive. And that has been hard. Yes. That is so hard. You, I totally get that. I totally get that. But has, has Jackson

been pretty okay with that? Like he's been kind of transitioning really well and you know, going, I guess going back and forth, right? He's gone at least once or twice. Yeah. And I think that, um, I want to be fully transparent with the situation because even if it helps one single person who's listening to this, I want people to know that I do go through hard things and for a long period of time, um, with coffee convos or even being on Christina's best, being guarded, um, and just trying to be very surface. I don't feel has served me in the best way. And even though you don't want to be bullied about certain aspects of your life when you're being fully transparent, I do feel that there's freedom

in the transparency. And it hasn't been gravy, but will and I both are being very intentional when it comes to letting Jackson feel his feelings and standing with him and his feelings. Um, and mainly focusing on his feelings and not that our feelings should be put to the back burner because we also need to do self work and feel them. But ultimately when it comes down to it, he is the priority. I found, um, that I really wanted Jackson to have a cell phone and the intentions behind that, because I was always against him having one before he was 12 or 13 years old, just because I didn't want him to have the internet or, you know, all the things that come along with having a cell phone in a selfish way for my

growth and for me to be able to move in the direction that I need to move and for will as well. I felt that it was in our best interest for him to have a cell phone so that will, when he's with me, doesn't feel that I am a barrier to get to his son and vice versa. And I never wanted will's parents to ever feel like they had to contact my phone or go through me to get to Jackson. Right. And so I think that with proper boundaries with the phone that that will serve us very well. And he's only had it. We got it on Saturday. So only a couple of days he's had it, but it's been a great thing. And, um, we do have set times for phone calls. And the reason for that is, is because that way no one is

it someone's beck and call all day long, right? Like you're not responsible for that when you're not with each other anymore. Right. Right. But I do feel that we're both doing a good job of allowing Jackson at this time to call and be in communication with whoever he wants to be in communication with when he wants to be in communication with him because this is a transitional phase. And when things start becoming his new norm, I feel like we'll transition out of that and the need won't be as much and maybe it will. Um, but I think the important thing is just to let your kids feel and just stand with them and their feelings because they're little and their minds are going all the time and thinking and, um, you

want them to feel like they can trust you and, and tell you how they're feeling and not keep it inside. Cause I don't think that's healthy. Well, also when you're describing this, I feel like I'm looking at the bigger picture too. Right. So when Jackson gets older and he does look back on this, because he will, I mean, we all do it as adults. We think back to all the things that we went through as children and he will, he'll never be able to say, you know, I could, when I was at my mom's, I couldn't talk to my other family or my dad, you know what I mean? He's always going to remember that you provided that you facilitated the relationship between him and his dad while he was with you and you facilitated

a relationship between his grandparents and him, you know what I mean? While he's with you. And that was, um, one of the things that I wanted for Isaac and Lincoln to have phones too. Like I didn't want, no matter what Javi and I are going through, I don't want Lincoln to ever feel like I won't let Javi talk to him because of, you know, an argument or same thing for, you know, Isaac and his family. The one thing I will say though is, um, you know, when Isaac has access to FaceTime and stuff, I, I like your idea of like, okay, these are the times that you can call because I'm big on like, you don't need to FaceTime people, family members, other people at like nine o'clock at night because you guys like

I want my privacy too. Like I have nothing to hide, but I also like, you guys, no other person needs to know what's going on in my home at nine o'clock at night. And I don't need one of my kids like calling somebody else and like, I don't know. It's just like a weird, you know what I mean? But like, I also want to facilitate the relationship. Like Isaac loves his grandmother to death. Like that is his person. That's fine. But that's so called before five o'clock. Like don't, there's a reason for you to FaceTime within that time too. Yeah. Like I don't care up until five o'clock cool, maybe six o'clock, but like after bath and shower and, or bath and shower, shower and dinner and stuff like

that. Like you don't need to know like what time I'm going to bed, if Creed's crying because he can't sleep or Lux is eating, sneaking Cheetos. Like you guys don't need to know. You're like, what is that? Like, yeah, no, we don't need all of that dysfunction. I will say that as far as the phone is concerned, if you're finding yourself in the same situation and financially it's something that you can do just in a couple of days. I have seen the positives of that with boundary, right? So like once he talks to Will for the last time at night, he knows that his phone is plugged up in the kitchen. I do not go through his phone. I do not go through his text messages that he has with other family members because

that is not my business. The only time that I would ever do that is if there was any type of inkling that there was something like inappropriate or something like that. Yeah. But that's never, that's never happened prior to this. So I wouldn't imagine why it would happen now and I give the benefit of the doubt. So I don't go through his phone and it just sits on the counter and he looks at it once he showered and ready for the day. He looks at it and then the last time he talks to his dad at night, then he puts the phone away. And so I think it's been, it's been great. And also I feel like giving him a little bit of freedom and feeling like he is in control of those relationships is important to me.

Yes. Yes. I'm literally writing that down because I agree. I definitely agree. And I think I brought this up a while ago, but I want to say it again on this episode. There was something that I watched on TikTok about kids and phones and one of them was like for, for comfortability and just like having, like you said, the freedom of, of those were like controlling those relationships and like having his own part in them, um, taking phones away from kids when they get in trouble. Like don't do it because you're taking away a communication or an outlet from, you know, the child and, and that kind of goes with what we're saying. Right. Like, um, if something goes on in the house or whatever, you don't want to take

it away because then he can't talk to his other, he can't call his dad or his grandparents or whoever, um, or text them and like have an outlet or whatever. So I, I do think like that responsibility, that freedom, that outlet too. Like I do think as, as crazy as it is that like young kids have phones now, like there, there are some pros to it, right? Like there are some, some good things about it. I 100% agree with that. All right, you guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our newest partners, Eshalon. And if you find yourself working too hard, but not working out enough and you're wanting to get in shape, but you don't have time to get to

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for this free offer, eshalonfit.com slash combos. I just want to know other people who have children who do have cell phones, what the limitations are, if they're limiting them, whether you're in a co-parenting situation or not, and you're doing time share, you know, how do you limit your child's interaction on their phone? Because I also don't want him to be on there all day. I've tried to be a little bit more lenient in this transition phase than I think what I will be, but I also am a more lenient parent just in general. And actually was talking about Katie and explaining to her on the Southern T the other day about your example that you gave of natural consequence parenting. And I 100% agree that, you know,

by taking something like a cell phone and especially in a situation that you're time sharing with another parent that taking away the device that is like a punishment, right? The alienation of the communication with the other parent or family members is just like next level, something that they might need to go to therapy for later. Right. Well, yeah, I mean, like, it's like, if someone doesn't clean their room or like, take a shower or brush their teeth on time when you ask them, taking their phone is not a natural consequence that like doesn't make sense. It had nothing to do with the phone. It had nothing to do with those relationships that they have on the phone, you know, with like

the communication with other people, it just doesn't make sense. So natural consequences is what I'm, I'm working on. And I also, if anyone has any tips on natural consequences, that would be super helpful because like obviously I'm only knowing like what, like what I, I have like the high impact club and gentle parenting, like TikToks and I have the member of the program, um, high impact club. But anyway, I, I do want to know like what would be like a consequence of like not cleaning a room or not doing, you know, the chores. Like it's not the phone because unless they're on the phone and not doing something, like maybe that would be a natural consequence. But I just, I don't know like what would be

a natural consequence of like not cleaning your room. I guess not being able to find things like, I don't know. But yeah, I'm like, well, because if they're not cleaning their room, that indicates that the mess doesn't bother them. So the natural consequence for that would be having a dirty room that doesn't bother them. But that's not even a consequence because it doesn't bother them. So like, yeah, what do we do in that type of situation? Like I just don't know, like, like the coat thing was the, I gave it the coat example, right? Like if your child doesn't want to put the coat on because, you know, they feel like they can, they can do it. The natural consequences,

you know, you bring the coat, but they're going to be cold, right? So you're going to let them walk to the car and be cold or walk to the bus stop and be cold. Natural consequence. I don't know, like at what point would you, I guess, like I said, I don't know. Like I just, anyone who does natural consequence and like gentle parenting or parenting with understanding, let me know. Please help us. Yes. Please help in that aspect because I'm not, Isaac did get his phone taken, but that was because he was spending so much time on it that like you said, I don't want that. And I told him for his iPad, um, you know, for all this time that you spend on your iPad, like, why don't you do like 15 minutes of

Spanish or practice, like look up YouTube. Like if you want to be on YouTube, that's fine, but use it for something productive. Use it for something that you, that you love. You love playing the piano. So why don't you look up songs that you can learn how to play on your iPad or your phone? You know what I mean? Like, it's like mindless scrolling. Like us. Right. And I don't, I get it, but you know what? That's another thing too about the, the camps this weekend was like, I felt so good not being on my phone the entire weekend. I waited until after all the speed training camps, like I obviously got videos and footage and stuff like that, but I didn't post it until after. Like I really only use my phone

to like take videos and stuff. And it felt good to like be off my phone for the weekend. I haven't really been on my phone too terribly much either just because I've been so busy with moving and trying to get my crap organized. And that's been nice. And I've also been going to bed so much earlier, really establishing a new routine. And I think that's been a healthy transition for me is establishing what my new normal is going to be, but establishing it help like in a healthy way, like things that I should have probably done regardless of the situation. Yeah, but you wouldn't have known that you wouldn't, you might not have executed or known that you needed to make those healthy changes if you weren't going

through what you were going through. Yeah, I think like when you go through hard stuff, there's good things that can come out of the struggle. And I've just had to lean on that part of it and just see the good out of the bad. Right. Right. Speaking of bad, I did want to let you know that over the past probably like six days, I have again been processing my thoughts and I love to be able to write down my thoughts instead of just speaking about them and not executing the message in a way that maybe it was intended. And so I wrote down something that I want to read to you and to everybody who is listening. And here it goes. My goodness, what a week it has been emotionally I'm trying to navigate

divorce single parenting and unfortunately constantly find myself in a position of responding to allegations from my dad as you all are very aware. And if you are new here, I do not have a relationship with my dad to any extent. This has been challenging to navigate personally as well as publicly. I addressed several things last week and would like to address a few more due to the constant need to speak about me to any outlet that will listen as well as podcasts for an extended period of time. Now, I am unsure how it was suggested that no statements would be made to tabloids regarding me so that words could not be twisted. But then when the opportunity presented itself to speak to many outlets,

I was the main topic of conversation. As I try to make sense of this for myself and reflect my thoughts over the past week, I extend grace, grace not because it is earned simply because I sympathize with the situation and stress surrounding everything personally going on with their lives. As embarrassing as it is, the sexed hate regardless of other people's narrative has been proven to be a legitimate threat. I remain convicted to my statement as always. I've never seen it nor do I have confirmation that it exists beyond a threat. I'm also very unsure why this remains to be a topic of conversation. As far as any allegations regarding TMZ, I have always been the respondent to a story and not the other way around. Statements

given from other parties across all media outlets will prove who planted seeds and how they were continued to grow with an inconsistent narrative. In regards to my employment with USA Network, all three media and Maverick Productions, I was never fired from the show contrary to reports from others. My attorney has all of these communications and would be happy to speak on this. Regardless of the situation surrounding me leaving the show, simply put, all parties involved, including myself, should be ashamed of actions that transpired as well as things that were said, period. Accountability for actions is something that I'm willing to take. However, instead of doing that, it was shared with me that

NDAs were brought in for everyone present to sign. Again, I wasn't present for that, but if that is the case, the people that were involved should be ashamed. Regarding the comment about me not having a dad, paternity has never been brought into question. I am aware of where I came from, and frankly, that is absolutely absurd that that would even be distorted. In a Q&A on Instagram, I stated that I did not have a dad, and that is how I feel. A father and a dad are very different. Regarding Coffee Convos podcast, we fully acknowledge people that we once loved actively trying to sink us. I personally acknowledge the accusations. The great news for y'all and for us is that we aren't going anywhere.

As always, thank you for supporting our show and rising above the noise because I value you. It was also brought to my attention that I was threatened to silence or else things would be released, and I feel that it is my right to speak up and have a voice. I will not be silenced. At this time, I refuse to allow someone committed to speaking on me on a regular basis to continue to affect my mental health. I'm committed to focusing on my son, my current life situation and changes and refuse and will not tolerate going back and forth with anyone who's committed to changing the narrative to suggest the actual fact is inaccurate.

I literally have the chills because I just don't understand. You and I are similar in that I don't have a relationship with my mom, right? My mom, what would she, what does she benefit if she was to come out and like just fuck with my mental health publicly to try to sink me to like, what do you get out of that? That is, and I'm saying this because that's not my dad and, but I see what it has done to you and I see, I see it. And the fact that people that don't normally listen to his podcast messaged me about the things that he was saying about you and about us and about our show is like, you're too grown and you have too much going on. Like you have a federal indictment happening. The last thing that

you should be doing is be worried about basically destroying your daughter publicly. And I feel so heartbroken for you in that aspect because you don't deserve that. You don't deserve that from anybody. And I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself. I'm proud of you for saying what you have to say because you don't benefit from holding it in. And again, another yet another situation that you've handled with such grace and not, you've never, I've never seen you like give a first comment to TMZ or give a first comment to anybody. So you should be proud in standing your ground and, and saying what you have to say. And I also just wanted to say too that I saw this one thing on, it was like a Bravo Instagram

or something. And I know that a lot of people who find themselves on reality TV shows and you know, I, I can say that I don't love it when things are reported all the time. But you can't be a private person and also collect a check for being on a reality TV show is that fight me on there. And with that being said, I just feel like when you put yourself out there in public, there's a level of responsibility that you hold to the people who follow you, who ultimately because of their following is creating an income for you. Because without their following or without them watching you or without them tuning in to, you know, whatever platform that may be, you do owe a certain amount of your life to those people and to

share that information with those people and, and do it in an honest way, right? And I am guilty of not doing it in an honest way. And the fact that I've held back things and not shared them in fear of what someone might say or what they might think. But at the end of the day, I have, I've withheld information, not lied about information. And I think that that's the difference. Oh, a hundred percent. Like, I don't think that you haven't been transparent. You've just been apprehensive to put your business out there. And I think that's fair, especially given the circumstances. I wouldn't, because you don't know how certain people are going

to twist it or perceive it. And then you're, you know, nobody wants dirty laundry out there. I get that more than any more than anyone. So when I texted you the other day, like, if anyone gets it, it's me. So, um, And I very much value, and I know that you are learning the value of this as well. Like, I very much value my private life outside of the public eye or whatever you want to call it. Like I have real life friends and kill. And I have real life conversations that don't pertain to anything that's going on involving TV podcast, whatever, like we're real human beings. And I do value part of your life. Yeah, I do.

I agree with you on that. I definitely agree with you on that. I do also agree with your statement about, you know, we do owe somewhat of our lives to the people who have tuned in for this long and for people who have followed both shows that we've been on and followed our accounts and things like that. We do owe them a certain amount of, um, I guess access or, or a piece of our lives, but I don't think that we owe them an entire, the entire picture. We don't owe them all of it. And so, you know, for mental health reasons, and that goes for everybody on reality TV, not just us. That goes for everyone who is on there, um, on any show, on any network, but I agree with you distorting, distorting, um, narrative

to make things look like one thing and completely avoiding actual fact of what is transpired or what goes on. And this is for all reality TV people, um, to make things appear as if they're one thing, but they're actually something else is just, um, also detrimental to the person who is doing it to their mental health. Yeah, 100%. And also, um, withholding information or coming with receipts, as I like to say, um, I have also done that. There's been so many times where people come for me and I, I have receipts. I have the proof. I have screenshots. I have emails. I have conversate, like whatever I have them. So that is detrimental when you, when we have to constantly pick and choose what we're going to respond to

and how we're going to respond or if we're not going to respond at all, but we have all the, like we have all the proof. It's, it becomes like a mental, it takes a mental toll on, on you, on me, on, you know, the person that's in our shoes. So I get that too. And it's so hurtful. Um, the, the fact is, is that I can forgive the situation because people do things. I've been guilty of doing things by lashing out because I was hurt, you know, and maybe I lashed out at someone inappropriately in a way that I was deflecting or my emotion was coming off from another situation onto that situation. Right. Right. And I think we all have been there as human beings. However, I think that when a entire

goal is to, um, try to manipulate and distort how people view someone else by false accusations is dangerous. Yeah. And we're both going through that right now. I mean, very different, very different, but we're both going through it. And like I said, I just, I don't like to, I don't want to talk about your family because it's not my place, but as your friends, like I, I don't understand it. I've never, I can't, I just don't understand it. And it's weird to me too, that the facts are there. Oh, of course they are. Of course. Do you want to see them?

You know, and I, but we're the, we're the bad guys. If we do that, we're the bad guys because we, I mean, again, similar, but different. We, if we defend ourselves, we're the ones being questioned about the truth and the honesty. And that's what's, that's what kills me. It's like, uh, what I say, I don't have a, I don't have any type of gain from lying. You know what I'm saying? Like you don't have any type of gain. You're just trying to defend yourself and what happened. Like the fact that you're someone else that you once loved is, is distorting things so that it benefits them is just, it's weird. I don't understand it.

And also, um, to, to that point, talking about reality TV, just in general, on my Q and A, someone asked if I would ever have my own reality TV show because they listen to both the podcast. And I just think it's funny because no, I don't think so. Well, what, what if we did one? Would you do one if coffee combos got one? I feel like it, yes, if coffee combos got one, yes, because I feel like there's a level of transparency here. And when you know better, you do better, right? So when you go into a deal the next time, you might do things a little bit different. Yes. Yes.

Um, but with that being said, I don't think that I would really want to invite a level of toxicity into my life that I wouldn't have any control over anymore. Like I just don't right. I don't feel the need to do that. Yeah. Like the Kardashians, that's like real life situations, but they have a say in how it got spun or how it got played out, how it played out to the public. They, they got to say and they control the narrative a little bit. Um, and so you're, you're, you're, you're being transparent, but you get to produce how it comes out to the public. Like I could

understand that it's crazy because the position that I'm in right now, and I'm sure that you, you kind of have had these thoughts too. At some point, like any time, like on my journey of team mom too, I guess you were with will as long as I was on team mom. That's insane. 12 years. So I've seen other like reality people write books, like tell-alls or interviews, tell-alls and things like that. And I'm like, wow, like you're really turning your back on this network that did whatever, or you're really turning your back on this show that you've been on for so long. And I get it now.

Like I, I get it. I get it. Emotional toll that, you know, reality TV can take and, and, and how it does change people and certain people will, they'll turn on their own family members or, or, you know, distort things for their own benefit in that way on reality TV. And I know that people wouldn't understand, but like, I get it. I get it now. There's just nothing worth that to me. The money is not there that justifies it. And I just think that in general, it's toxic. I think that it can be done in a way that's not toxic. If the cast has some type of produce, like producer credit to be able to say, okay,

this is not going to be edited this way because this is actually categorically false. Right, right, right, right, right. They're ha, yeah, agreed. I agree with that. Um, speaking of, you might not be able to answer this. So we'll put this on my Q and A. Um, do you think that you would ever be with Harvey again? Um, you know what I think did it? I think, I think it was the, you were running the routes with Harvey. I think that's what it was. Oh yeah, for sure. Clearly I'm on the same athletic pages, Harvey. So we're a match

made in heaven. Like obviously, clearly keep up with him and drills and football like duh. Um, I, I think the reason why is because in an interview, I had said never say never, but that's because like never say never in my chaotic dysfunctional life. Like I feel like I've said like very no to things. Like this is very much a no or like this is very much a yes. And then it's completely changed. And so that's kind of the where I was going with that. Like never say never, but, um, right now here in my life in this moment, I would say no. Um, I'm not saying never, but I'm saying right now is a no. I love how much we're getting along right now. I love what we're doing for Lincoln and the speed

training camps. Um, but I will say that being said, like I know that in the coming years, he could be doing the same thing with his other son's mom and their son together. And um, I know how much I've enjoyed working with him in, um, in this with Lincoln and doing all of these things with Lincoln, but at some point he is going to do them with Lauren. And so I want to respect that. And I want to encourage that. And I want to, like I want them to experience all of this. You get what I'm saying? So like, I think a relationship with him would, um, hinder that. Right. Yes. Yes. So I'm saying no. Um, yeah, I, I would, it was kind of a joke when I said never say never. Um, I understand actually I can share

a never say never because that resonates with me. So last summer I was in a conversation with someone in Will's family and the question was posed to me, would I ever have a relationship with my dad again? And the answer that the person was looking for was definitely like, no. And I couldn't definitively give no, they like the answer that they were looking for because one, I never want to put myself in a situation to me to be made out to be a liar about something. So the better way to handle it was to never say never. Um, and that's only because you never know what the future may hold. And as convicted as I feel and, and confident as I feel and saying that I don't believe that that will ever happen. And

I truly believe that that ship sailed long ago. I never want to put myself in a compromising situation for someone to be able to come back and say, Oh, well you said, and now you did. Right. Which that is kind of stupid anyway. Like I get what you're saying and I feel the same way. That's why I said never say never. But it's stupid when you think about it because life can literally change in an instant and that doesn't just refer to like death, right? Like you might not be promised tomorrow. That refers to every little thing in life. Like if you don't make one, if I don't go get a cheeseburger after this podcast, my life could be totally different. You know what I'm saying? Like you just don't know.

So I, I just, it applies to so much. And I, I hear you, although when you're talking about that, when people think of me and my mom, like, cause that's something that people ask me all the time, I'm that I would say never. Like that is one thing that I would say never. And not because I'm mad or bitter or harboring resentment, but because I'm at peace with my decision. Like I don't even think and knock on wood, nobody dies, but I don't even think a death would change that. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't even think I knocked on wood. I hope nobody, I hope everyone's okay, but that's just what I mean though. Like I, that is one thing, but that's because I'm at peace with it, not

because I am mad. And I don't truly, I don't feel angry about my situation either. Do I feel sad and hurt and heartbroken? I feel all of those feelings, but do I fear, like feel angry? I don't feel angry only because I know that hurt people hurt people. So I, you know, it just kind of is what it is, but I'm never going to say never on something just cause I don't want to make an asset of myself basically. So right, right, right. Understood. Understood. Another question is that does Isaac still have a relationship with Avi? Um, yeah, uh, yes and no, he, they obviously talk and you know, whatever football practices

and things like that, but the, the interest level of sports versus like art and music, like they just don't relate. So, you know, Lincoln is football all the time. I even took him to the Verizon store to get a new phone, um, which that's a whole different conversation. Had a football in his hand, you know what I mean? So I was like, if you fucking throw that thing in here, I swear to God, um, but no, but, um, they're, they're, they get along when they see each other and things like that. And, um, like he'll take Isaac swimming at his house or whatever. Um, but the interests are very different. So, um, as far as that goes, no, um, but like it's fine. Like it's not like they're like hostile and like, yeah.

Yeah. No, like, like if Isaac wanted to go stay the night at hobbies, hobbies, like, yeah, absolutely. Like it's not even a question, you know, and, um, but yeah, as far as like, if Isaac was in like, whenever, um, Isaac was playing tennis, which I don't know if I told you guys that he quit. Did I tell you guys that? No, you didn't tell us. He quit. Um, so that's so let me tell you, I was so annoyed. I've just got to say this before you tell the story is that that is so not like you to allow him to quit a commitment. I know, but the reason why is because the tennis that he was signed up for was not like in a season. Do you get what I mean? It just went all year. So it was like an all year around. It's kind

of like, if you were to sign up for gymnastics, you just sign up and it's all year round all the time. Yeah. So Isaac wanted to play. We gave it a shot. It gave it a couple of weeks. He was getting pretty good. And I had even went as far as asking the tennis coach like, Hey, you know, I know he splits this, this practice with his five year old sister. Um, you know, how can we get him to progress? Does that another week? Is it another hour? Like another day a week? Is it another hour? Like, what does that look like? And he was kind of giving me feedback. So to the, to the hobby question, Javi texted me cause Javi played tennis briefly and Javi's one of those people, you put any type of sports ball in

front of him and he can play it. Like he could pick up a lacrosse stick and just pick it up. Like he's, that's just who he is. Um, he played tennis shortly and, um, he had found a tennis camp for me and I signed Isaac up for it. And then I signed Lincoln up for it. Um, so to that point, like Javi does somewhat have a relationship with Isaac. That was to that. And then the second thing was the quitting thing. Um, he, so I had signed him up for the tennis camp and it was really expensive for one week, but I thought, you know, he could make such progress in one week. Cause I know what one week could do to Lincoln. If it's dedicated to football, I know that he could make a lot of progress in a week.

Right. So it was an all day tennis camp from eight to three. Um, it was about an hour away. So I would drive there and then drive home. Well, I kept saying before I signed him up for the tennis camp, I kept saying, like, I have this gut feeling. You don't want to play tennis anymore. Are you sure you want to play? Like I'm going to sign you and Lincoln up for the tennis camp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We get to Dominican Republic and he tells me and mom, like randomly out of nowhere and mom, I don't, I don't want to play tennis anymore. And I was like, so then I, that's the commitment, the commitment part that you're talking about. That's where I was conflicted because I was like, okay,

I just paid all this money for this tennis camp and I can't get it back. So I'm thinking, do I have him go to the tennis camp that was only Monday through Friday for one week and then be done with it? That's where I was set. I was like, all right, I'm going to still get to, I said, you have to complete the tennis camp and then you can be done. Cause I already paid, but then it's already paid for and I can't get my money back. The more I thought about it, I'm thinking to myself, why would I, after I just paid all that money, then go get him a new tennis racket cause his tennis practices, they had all everything there. And I specifically liked that and picked that because I didn't have

to go buy all the equipment until I knew that he was dedicated and loved it. But for the tennis camp, he needed all his own stuff. So I was like, why would I then drive an hour down to the beach for this tennis camp and then drive an hour home because it's all day and I don't have anything to do. I can't stay at the beach all day, drive an hour there, drive an hour home, do what I got to do, drive an hour there to pick him up, drive an hour home for five fricking days and get him all this new tennis equipment. You get what I'm saying? So it was one of those things where I'm completely pro conned and the cons far outweigh the pros. Yes. I was like, this is, you know what, for me to go then spend probably

another $500 on equipment and gas and everything else to get him there. Like, oh my gosh. Oh Lindsay, when I tell you I was fuming, I was like, I specifically gave you every opportunity to tell me you didn't want to play tennis before I signed you up for this goddamn tennis camp. Now please, like I was so conflicted. Like what would you do? Why did you do this to me? Oh, he would be going. He would have liked tennis for that week. So yeah. And then V texted me and she's like, Hey, like I just want to make sure before I take V to tennis, like Isaac is for sure not playing. And I was like, no, he's good. So I did. I signed him up for a second piano lesson every week. Because I said, you know, I want you to loves

whatever you do, whatever, you know, take the money part away. I don't care if you don't ever play tennis again. But you have to do something you love and or that you like and that you're interested in because you're not going to sit around like a friend. Try. Yeah, that's the thing is like, I, I just want whatever it is, if it's drawing, if it's engineering, if it's color, like I don't care what the hell it is, but you I want you to love something. So we just now we replace the tennis with a second piano lesson. And I feel pretty good about it. He likes it. He got a binder and new music and stuff like that. So he's happy. I'm happy. And, you know, if he doesn't want to do piano anymore, like that's fine because

it's also like year, like there's no like committed, like there's a season, you know what I mean? You know, seasonally play piano. I got you. If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen KiwiCo on my Instagram, on my stories, on coffee combos, Instagram. Lindsay and I love KiwiCo. It keeps the kids busy. It's productive. It's learning. It's sharing. It's playing. It's all the things. So if you guys don't know what KiwiCo is, you got to try it out. We all know this school year is going to be filled with transitions, whether your kids are going back to school for the first time after a year or logging into a classroom from

home. You guys know how crazy these school years can be in a regular year. So with everything that has happened over the last year and a half, you guys know how time consuming it can be. So getting your kids the extra help they need might be a little bit chaotic, but there's a little bit of help with hands on science and art projects that get delivered to your door. I personally keep these on hand at home because I just never know if they're going to need to do like a last minute project. If they just need something to stay busy, these are perfect. KiwiCo can deliver a science fair or art class project right to your door,

which is perfect. So I was even surprised by how much I love them, but like I said, they're super convenient, especially if you keep them on hand for like a project or something last minute. We've done so many of these projects. We've done the farm. We've done the robotics. We've done hydraulic projects. We've done a lot of them and actually posted some of them on my Instagram. So if you guys want to go check out those posts, you can kind of see what it's like. If you want to get your kids into super cool hands on science art and geography projects delivered to your door every month, definitely check this out. KiwiCo is redefining learning with hands on projects that build confidence, creativity and critical thinking

skills. There's something for every kid or kid at heart at KiwiCo. Get your first month for free on selectcreates at KiwiCo.com slash coffee. That's K I W I C O dot com slash coffee. I promise you're going to love it. We have time for one more question. I think this is applicable to both of us. How did you get to the point of not caring about other people's opinions and just live your life? I'm going to let you answer that one. Okay. Um, actually I for a long period of time, I can even remember like back in high school, not caring about what people thought, but I remember also being told by my parents that you should care what people think. Um, and I can't remember the justification that I was given on why I should

care. But then because they said that I kind of did start thinking about like what other people would think if I would do stuff, but not really until being on reality TV or Instagram, did I really care about what other people thought? And then for a long period of time, I really did. And I think that once you just break that barrier of just living in your truth and knowing like, this is just me. This is how it is. There's going to be plenty of people that don't like me. There'll be plenty of people that do. Um, and I can't live to please other people. I can only live my life to fulfill my own self and the people that I love that surround me. And I can't focus on all the noise. Like there's nothing there

for me within, within the noise. There's nothing positive there for me. So I just try not to focus on it. And I can tell you right now anything that as far as like, I turned the Google alerts off of my phone. So I don't see anything that comes up. So I would actively like have to go to Google to find out anything that's going on. Um, now that I wonderfully have Alexa and she handles my PR and then Kristen handles all the other stuff that's been very freeing in itself. So I'm kind of just disconnected from all of the noise and just kind of focus on the things that fulfill me daily. I think all of that is really good advice and just like points in general. I also, I,

it took me a long time to get to where I'm at. And even now I do still struggle with like there are, I think one or two accounts that like their entire accounts are dedicated to hating me. Um, I, I will honestly say that I do still struggle with some of them because people, there are a significant amount of people that believe like false information. That's hurtful to me still just because it's so far from the truth. Um, but it, overall like the bigger picture, I came to a point where like my team, my friends, they were like, you cannot change the opinions that they have. Like if they don't like you, you're, you're going to spend all your time like trying to prove to them why they should like you

when you have a million other people who are supporting you. And, and by support, I mean, maybe they don't agree with everything I do, but they don't hate me for my mistakes or they don't hate me for something that they didn't do them like that they wouldn't do. You get what I mean? So, um, I do still struggle with it a little bit. I think it's hard when it's on a big, it's on a bigger scale, you know, when people, you don't know hate you and you don't know why, um, but that's about them and less about you. Yes. And yes. Yes. And in therapy, that's what I've learned is like, I never understood that. Like it's more, it says more about them. It says more. I thought that was just something cliche that

everyone said. And it's like, no, I've, it took me being in a really low place where I was like picking apart dumb shit for me to realize. And then I was, and then I became happy, right? Like I got into a place where I was much happier and I said, wow, like now I see why I was so picking apart everything else in my life because I was, I was miserable. So it genuinely has everything to do with them. Like nobody's picking you apart and hating you because they're completely happy and fulfilled in their lives. And it took me a really, really long time to understand that, to live in that, to see that. Um, and that's what I try to remind myself when like these troll accounts just like pick every

single thing apart. They twist things. I just, I'm like, this person or these people running this specific account, like no matter how much they say that they're happy and fulfilled, they're absolutely not. So if someone is like, if people are constantly saying things about you, it, it, it generally is never really about you. So I mean, thank you for being a fan because always about them. And you know, to that point on, I, I know that a lot of people throw around the word hate and I'm guilty of that as well. Like I hate this or I, you know, blah, blah, blah. I truly don't have a bone in my body that hates anyone. I dislike, right, right. Yep. Certain people and their actions and things that they do,

but I don't hate anyone. I just don't feel like I have a place for that in my life. I try to move on from negativity and not dwell in that and just try to focus on the things that make me happy. Like I'm about to, um, maybe make a sandwich that will be good and like focus on the crispiness of my lettuce and like, you know, like loving just where I'm at in life and not focusing on hate and the negativity and following the negativity like used to, I can truly say that I used to look to see if there was like negative things posted about me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So much. Yes. Me too. I would be like, where are the negative comments? Like I would look for them. Why do we do that to ourselves? I don't

know, but I can confidently tell you that I don't look for any negative comments at all and rarely do I ever respond to anything negative unless the only time I ever respond to anything negative is in the event that it is just blatantly a lie and I can prove otherwise. That's only time that I ever will respond to anything negative. And I'm just like, you know what? I've got like baseboards to clean and like a bathroom to sweep pictures to hang up. Yeah. And you know, yeah, no, 100%. There was a time where I did the same and now I just instead of looking for negative comments, I want to respond to the ones that show love me too. I'm like, thank you so much for loving me and like loving me so hard

because I see you all the time. Yeah. Oh, and sometimes when people like truly go hard for me and they like, I see them constantly showing support, I follow them because I'm like, you know what? This is what I need. Yeah, that's what I need to focus on. Like and I'll just go show them love too because and I let me just say this before we go because I know we're out of time last week and this goes full circle to what I said in the beginning, like just so fulfilled and thankful and things like that. I have taken so much time more than I normally would to like in my head or out loud or on Instagram, just like be thankful. And like when you start to do that, you start to see more of the good and same thing with

the comments, right? Like you see certain people showing love or you show back, right? Like it's karma, everything comes full circle. The ones that are showing love constantly show love back to them because you're going to get it back. You get what I'm saying? Like it's everything comes full circle. Whenever you speak like your thankfulness and gratefulness into existence, yes, there's more. Yes, there, there is so much more where that lies that I can't even describe and it's affirmations, right? Like, yes, I try to say to Jackson every single morning, like what are you thankful for? And I remember back like when I used to watch the Kardashians all the time, I don't even have a TV in my room now. That's another

story for another podcast episode. But when I used to watch that show, I used to love when they talked about like what was the pit and the peak of your day and always saying the pit first, but ending on the peak and like a positive no and not dwelling in. And I never really understood like the whole reasoning behind that until I started saying out loud the things that I was thankful for. And so I just want to challenge people who are listening to us to be kind to yourself. Speak your thankfulness into existence because again, like you said Kale karma, it comes back full circle, whether it be good or bad. Yes, don't get struck by lightning everyone. If you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram,

make sure you follow us over there. And if you have not subscribed to our show, you can do that from the purple podcast app on any Apple device, just type in coffee combos, click subscribe the fifth star leave a written review. You can also find us on Spotify or any other podcast app that you choose to listen from. We hope you guys have a great week and we will talk to you soon. See you.