Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 182: Comfort Items, Finding Yourself, and Dealing With School Bullies

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

On this week's episode Kail and Lindsie are tackling a lot of parenting topics. Who else's kids have a comfort item such as a Lovey or a special blanket or a stuffed animal? Kail and Lindsie talk about their children's items and the silly names that often come with them. Plus Lindsie tells a story about how Jackson's was almost lost! And when you become a parent it can be hard to know what your identity is outside of that. Kail and Lindsie discuss how hard it can be to find yourself, and how taking time for your own things outside of your kids can be frowned upon. And dealing with school bullies is hard, and it can be heartbreaking as a parent. Lindsie and Kail talk about how they have dealt with these types of situations, and how they have encouraged their kids to be open with them. This episode was sponsored by: Canva, HydroJug, Green Chef, & Paint Your Life Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License. 

Good morning. Good morning. What are you doing? Um, well, I'm recording. Are you recording? Yes. Welcome to the podcast, Kailin. Um, I was scrambling around like a chicken with its head cut off because I took my kids to school and then, um, I try to go to the gym right after so that way I can, you know, podcast or do whatever. Um, but I lately just like have not been eating in the morning. I just don't have time and I usually eat after I work out. So it's 1130 almost. And, um, I had to stop to get some things. I got, um, hard boiled eggs. Um, you love eggs in any fashion. It makes, it makes me feel like that forest gump scene whenever Bubba's talking about like all the ways you can make shrimp. And I think of you

when I think of that about eggs. Yes. You say eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, um, opening my hard my hard boiled eggs. Um, I, my kids have a dentist appointment today. So I'm also picking them up from school early, which it's not my week, but, um, Lux has an appointment also. So it just doesn't make sense for me, Joe and Javi to all go to the dentist appointment. Um, so I just like emailed Javi texted Joe and I was like, I'll, you know, pick up the kids and then return them to you guys after. Um, so that's at one. And I just, we've talked about it 110 times, but it's just way more convenient to schedule everyone on the same day. Um, multiple things to say about this. First of all, there's just really no reason to have to be subjected to anyone that you don't

need to be subjected to or add more people to the equation. Right. Right. Whatever. Um, and then on the second note, I was wondering if people who are listening that have multiple children, do you prefer to just take your kids like for their annual visit to the doctor altogether? Or do you do it separate? Because every time that I take Jackson to his like yearly checkup or whatever, I always see families in there with multiple kids and I'm like, Oh, it just must be easier for them to just come one time. I will say that, um, I could see why people would do it separately because, for example, Lincoln had an ultrasound on Friday, um, for, they thought he maybe had appendicitis because he was complaining of like lower right pain or whatever. Um, so I picked him up early and

then I was like, you know, after this is done, like we'll go get lunch or whatever. And, um, so I could see like why maybe people, families that have like large, like a lot of kids, like a large family would maybe do it separately for like that one on one time because maybe you can't fit it in anywhere else. Like I could totally see that. So that I understand. Um, Creed and Lux both have physicals coming up and they're, I'm also taking them on the same day. Um, so I don't know. I think it probably just depends. Like when Isaac goes to get his braces, um, next month, I think it'll just be like a me and him kind of thing, you know, right? Like I wouldn't, I wouldn't cause Lincoln also goes to that same orthodontist, but I won't schedule his orthodontist appointment at the same

time. Right. Yeah. Like, um, if I had a second child, I would definitely do it all on the same day if I could because our pediatrician's office is like 40 minutes from my house and it's the pediatrician that I went to. My siblings went to, um, Jackson, I take Lux there. Yes. You took Lux there. Jackson has the same pediatrician as my brother Grayson's all. So it's just, I would never change offices. I'm comfortable there. Yeah. So I'm just like, Oh, if I had a second child, I definitely would go to that same office and still drive 40 minutes. Oh, there are certain things that I just won't change. Um, the boys dentist is actually out of network for my insurance, but um, I just love their dentist so much. I wouldn't, I'm not willing. Same for my therapist. Like my

therapist is not in network. And I just, my therapist is over 45 minutes away and also out of network. And then the boys, Dennis, it's right here, but I literally wouldn't go anywhere else. Like they're just, I rather save up the money and like whatever. Um, there's just some things I just won't compromise on. Although I did, whenever we took Lincoln to the doctor for his, well, I took him to the doctor for his thing. I didn't know that his pediatrician went on maternity leave and she's not ever coming back. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It was a little upset because she sees three out of four of my kids. So I'm a little upset. Like I was like, Oh wow, like that sucks. Like I loved her. Um, they have a good group in there. So like I'm not worried to like see other doctors in there,

but I was just like, damn, I, she was great. Change is so hard. I feel like, especially when you get used to just like a certain way and that's for anything for me specifically, like my hair, I go to the same person for my nails every single time she does my nails and my toes. I don't care how long it takes. Um, same thing for my, um, OB or gynecologist, like same for Jackson, same hair person, same everything. And I just don't see how people are comfortable just going to like anyone. Like, no, I, no, I agree with you a hundred percent. Once I have like my, my provider that I like for, you know, myself and the kids, I don't, I have a really hard time. Like when I was pregnant with Creed and my OBGYN was no longer doing like, um, delivering babies,

I was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do now? And I had a really hard time. Like I just could not wrap your head around it. No. And I tried. Luckily I found the midwife that I used, but I just could not get behind like the doc, other doctors that I was seeing, like trying out. I didn't, not only was I not interested, I just like was not, like it was not okay. I'd rather no, no, thank you. Um, No, thank you, ma'am. Um, Yeah, no. In other news, I want to let you know that I feel like I have had a successful semi successful

morning. I haven't made it to the gym yet, but I do plan to do that before I get in carpool or as you say, what do you call it? Car rider or car rider line, car rider line. Um, I only say car ride. I said car rider today in a text to Kale because I know that's what she calls it, but I'm still it's carpool, like get out of my face. Um, but I have managed to shower, make my bed, do a load of laundry and put spaghetti sauce in the crock pot and I'm talking to you. So Okay. Here we are. Um, we'll drop Jackson's stuff off this morning because we have a, I don't know if you do this or not, but I have like a designated bag where like his stuff goes back and forth and it has to stay in that bag. Like I'm really weird about it. Um, and I got it

off of my porch this morning and it had all of Jackson's stuff down in there and I'm just like, okay, first of all, Will, if you're listening, um, you gave Jackson a rank used, um, charge iPhone charger that is like frayed at the end and that is not the one I sent him with. So I need to know where this charger came from. First of all, it's a Belkin to me. It's Belkin brand and I'm going to assume it belongs to your dad. Um, the second thing is that I text Will because Jackson has this blanket that like he's always slept with. And so, and then this little elephant and then this little guy, Muno, I don't know if anyone's listening that their kids watched Yo Gaba Gaba, but it's a little Thai beanie baby and he is one eyed and his eyeballs all scratched

off, but he sleeps with them every single night. And so I text Will and was like, Hey, did you wash the blanket? Cause there's no need for me to double wash and he texts me back and he was like, uh, no, he was sleeping with it last night. Duh. And I'm like, okay. I mean, how did dad just like not, I swear Will probably wouldn't wash that blanket ever if it was up to him, but I wash it every single week. And I want to know from parents who have kids that like sleep with loveys and stuff, how often you actually wash that stuff. Oh my gosh. I have there, I call them my nieces. They're not my nieces. They're Sterling's daughters. Um, I love them so much. They have loveys. I don't think that's what she calls them, but I know what you mean. And I litter and blankets

too. They also have blankets. And I said to Sterling, I said, can I please get the girls like new blankets? Like I just, I feel like they need, and she's like, they're just, they, I want to, I don't know what to get them for Christmas. They have everything. So I'm like, um, can I get them new loveys or new blankets? Because this is like, she's like, listen, I don't know what it is. She's like, literally she's had to sew the heads back onto these things. She washes them every day because they go everywhere. And I'm like, I, I don't know. We had Isaac had a blanket, um, that my aunt made him. My aunt, that was my dad's sister is my dad's sister. Um, and Isaac called it his puppy. Like it was his puppy. And I don't know why he did that. And he, when he passed it

down to Lincoln, like Lincoln didn't have the same connection to it. So, but that thing is like, I still have it. It's like, like rough. It's not soft anymore. But isn't it so sweet though? Yes. And I'm like, why couldn't Lincoln, I'm going to see, you know what? I'm going to give it to Creed and maybe Creed will want it. Yeah. See, I just love it so much. The blanket that Jackson sleeps with is a blanket that my mom made for him when he was born. And it has his name like monogrammed on the bottom of it. Um, and it has a dinosaur. I'll take a picture of it and post it this week, but it has a dinosaur pattern on one side. And on the other side, it's like that minky dot fabric. But my co-host for the Southern T actually posted on her Instagram last week,

I think it was, I saw this and it was such a good idea for parents who have kids that have like little stuffed animals. I call them like a lovey, but that kind of thing. Like I know Katie's daughter sleeps with, um, it's called like a little rat, like a rabbit. I forget what she calls it, but it's, it's basically like a bunny rabbit. And she bought two of the exact same one so that she can clean it. So I feel like that's a hack. Oh, totally. That's, yeah. So that's like genius. Yeah. I'm like, why would I, I've never thought of that, but for some of them that are like gifted or like truly one of a kind items, like you can't, you don't have that option. Like if you just have something that you noticed, you know, that they took a liking to, and it just so

happens that you can get another one. But if it's like Isaac's puppy was, you know, made by my aunt, there, nobody else could have. I mean, it has like Noah's fucking arc on it. And it was like, there was stop. You can't cuss when you say that. Oh, wow. Oh, my bad. My fault. It has Noah's arc on it. My gosh, Kale. Um, okay. So what does everyone call their kids lovies or stuffies or our puppies? Like what, what do you call it? Jackson calls his blanket or did call his blanket blanket? But I think that's just because he couldn't call it blanket. I don't know why. That's so cute. And he's like, I need my, he used to cry. He'd be like, I need my blanket. Um, love that. It's so precious, but I do have a funny story about his little,

what do they call them? Like the one-eyed things, a Cyclops. Is that what they call it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we had gone to the beach with Will's parents, and this was probably two years ago, and I let Jackson stay an extra night with Will's parents and Will and I came home. And so obviously like his personal belongings stayed, Blanken and his elephant and Muno were all with him. So they get going down the road, pack up. Um, and at some point on the trip, they feel like they have lost Muno and are having an internal panic because I am so particular about like those items that like, I would probably never be able to mentally recover from a lost Muno. And, um, I do feel like when Jackson goes to college, I'll probably sleep with it. So anyway,

his parents are freaking out and his mom tells me this whole story about how they called the place that we stayed and find out if it had happened to like get in the laundry and all this stuff. So supposedly Will's dad's looking online for a new Muno and where he can go and find one. And he told Will's mom that he was just going to scratch his eye on the concrete so that it looked used and like we would never know. And his mom was like, Lindsay will definitely know that this is like a fake Muno. Like you don't understand. Um, but evidently they somehow, you know, like when you get in a fluster and you're looking for something and it's probably there, but like you keep overlooking it because you're just in like such a fluster. Well, that's

what I hate when I do that happen to them and they were having a panic attack. So now I literally, when Jackson goes with Will, I tell Will, um, basically threaten him with his life. I'm like, don't take this out of your house. Like don't take it out of his bedroom. Like just leave it there. I'm afraid that Muno and Blanken are going to get lost forever. Oh, yeah, that would be devastating. That would definitely be sad. Oh, I just think that that's crazy that none of out of all of your children, you only had Isaac that had a puppy. Yes, Isaac had a puppy. Well, okay. Lincoln had, um, and I don't want to embarrass him. I hope this doesn't embarrass him because it's, it was very sweet. Um, when we went to go visit Starling in New Mexico, um,

one of her daughters had like this doll and it was like really ugly. Actually, it was just like a plastic face. It wasn't like a glow worm. It wasn't a glow worm, but it had a plastic face and then it had the body was just like plush, like the whole, like the back of the head was plush and then like the body was plush and it was pink, but Lincoln's color blind. So he probably didn't even realize it was pink and he did love that. Yeah, it was the cutest thing and, um, it's still somewhere in my house, but, um, she gave it to us because he loved it so much, but he didn't like sleep with it or anything. He just loved to like carry it around and which actually now that I'm saying that out loud, um, I was worried about him being a big brother

to Creed because he's so involved in like football and stuff. Like I just thought he wouldn't give a shit. Um, but he, not that he's a better big brother than Isaac, but he's so hands on with Creed. Um, that's so cute. Yeah. And you know what? I think that, that the little pink doll probably fostered like probably helped with that. You know, like it's just like natural for him. If I find a picture of the doll, I'm going to post it because, or I can maybe Google one that looks just like it, but it's, it was not cute, but Sterling gave it to us and he, for probably a year, he walked around with that thing. Sterling is going to punch you when she sees you. You've talked about how her kids have ragged blankets like my son. I don't mean it in a mean way. I

don't mean it in a mean way. She gave Lincoln an ugly doll. I love you Sterling. You're never going to have a friend again. Everyone knows that making content now is a part of what we do and every job feels like it needs something to be made for social media or things that you want to post for what you're doing. And Canva is a perfect way to do this. So if you have struggled with, you know, the creative process on how to create things, Canva will be perfect for you. I know I have, um, especially for like social media, my podcast stuff. And ever since I found Canva Pro, which I use all the time, um, a lot of the graphics that we use on Coffee Combo's Instagram and my personal stories have been made from Canva and we can design anything like a pro on literally any device,

which is amazing. So Canva Pro is a design platform that empowers you to create and share sending content in just a few clicks. So as you can see on the Coffee Combo's podcast Instagram, there is a ton of graphics that are created literally right through Canva. Canva Pro has endless premium fonts, photos, videos, and so much more that add personality and edge to whatever you're designing. I love it. I think we, um, just started the new like puzzle piece type of design, like the graphic, um, grid for our, our Instagram. So if you go check that out, you'll see it starting to come together and that was made through Canva Pro and designing together has never been easier. So you can share, edit, comment in real time. Canva Pro helps you stay organized and on the

same page on top of like all the team projects that you might have. So you won't have to misplace files or go back and forth. So Canva Pro has everything that you need for just $12.99 a month with Canva Pro's content planner. You'll save time planning, creating, posting on social media, and you can pause scheduled posts and edit them at any time, which I love. That's a feature that is actually probably my favorite feature. If you guys want to try this out, design like a pro with Canva Pro. Right now you can just get a free 45 day extended trial. When you use my promo code, just go to canva.me slash combos to get your free 45 day extended trial. Again, that's canva.me slash combos canva.me slash combos.

Anyway, I needed to tell you that over the weekend, it is officially fall here. And I feel like I'm truly thriving. Yeah, it was, I did two mile walk today. And it was so nice outside. Like I felt so good. I didn't feel like I was like dying of heat. Yes. And then I wasn't freezing either. Like it was truly the perfect weather to like be walking and working out. I love that so much. I love to go, even if I go to the gym, I love to go on a good like evening walk, just kind of like wrap up my day, be in nature, be outside and just feel like the fresh air. It feels so good. So good. Kristen had actually posted on our Instagram story, like what people wanted to know. And people asked what our fall plans were. And if we had any

activities planned for our families. Oh, that's sweet. I don't have anything planned. I'm kind of Kale never plans. I really don't. I just, I don't have, Lux asked me to do this like volcano project we have at home. So we might do that. But like fall based activities. No, we'll probably go to the orchard at some point. Because I do love their, they have these donuts. What are they called? They're like, Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, they have apple cider donuts, maybe. Yeah, that sounds so good. I'll definitely take them to like the pumpkin patch or something. But I just don't, and you guys know I'm like the Scrooge like no, like I'm like the Grinch. I don't do anything. And honestly, if I'm being completely

transparent, my kids do take up so much of my time in day to day stuff that like I've been using most of my extra time to focus on working out and eating better. So not that I should like not do things with my kids because of that, but like any free time I do have, I've been working out because whereas before I couldn't find the time. So I just haven't had the chance to like think about any, like if we got invited to go do something for Halloween or go to the orchard or something like obviously we would go, but like I haven't taken any extra time to like plan because all my time is pretty much taken up. I feel like whenever you have kids backlash on that, that's why I was kind of scared to say it. I feel like no, when you have kids and especially moms of

multiples and you're just going all different directions every single day. And even when you're co-parenting and you're splitting your time 50% when sports are involved, you're still seeing your kids probably just as much. They're just not going home with you. So it's a lot. And then you've got to focus on, you know, like your personal health and, you know, doing something for yourself because then you just wake up one day and you're like, okay, I didn't, I haven't done anything to fulfill myself in a very long time. That's where I'm at. That's literally where I'm at Lindsay. Like I, and I was just like feeling really miserable and just like, obviously doing this stuff with my kids, like I love it. I love going to football. I love doing that. And I'm the team parent for

Lincoln's football team and Lux is in football now. So like, I love all that stuff. But like, I realized I'm not doing anything about myself and I like for myself and I feel like, shit, like I feel like I'm overweight. I'm not really working out. I'm not doing it. So right now I don't, I don't feel bad. I'm just scared of the backlash. It's like, it's hard. It's really hard, especially with, you know, multiples, like you said. So I mean, I think everybody relates to this on so many levels that I feel like the way that I said it was like, oh, I'm not doing anything with my kids. So I can work out. Like it's, it feels like selfish when you say it out loud. But I do so like, Isaac has two hour piano lessons every Sunday,

Lincoln has football, Lux has football, Creed has, he just started his play care. So like, these are, and then whenever we can squeeze in boxing, the kid, Lincoln and Lux go to boxing. So it's like, it sounds bad and I just don't want to get backlash. So it's like, hard to like, talk about, you know, you do so much though with your kids. And I feel like with all of the things that are going on that are sports related, it would also be really hard to find a time for you guys all to just like pick up and someone not be committed to something. You know what I mean? Yeah, like you're one of your kids is always committed to something. I had, go ahead. It's just, I will say that one thing that I've talked about recently in therapy

is the over commitment to life things and not prioritizing my mental health, even as much as we talk about it, like you can talk about a lot of things, but actually putting action behind those things that you're talking about and executing is a totally different thing. And not prioritizing just like personal time for me to get things done. And also I have a really hard time with setting strict boundaries and being like, you know what, no, I can't actually do that because I am going to therapy or, you know, I have another self care appointment or, you know, no, because I have to make it to the gym today. Like, yeah, those things do sound selfish when you say it out loud, but also I do feel personally for me and I think for you too,

that those are things that impact your daily mental health and you have to prioritize yourself at some point. Well, actually what you just said happened to me this morning. My friend was like, can we get coffee? And I was like, um, I wanted to go get coffee, but I also needed to, I knew that I needed to be at the gym at a certain time. So I was like, listen, like, we can go grab coffee, but literally that's it. Like, I can't stay and talk like we can literally walk into Starbucks together and walk out of Starbucks together. Like, I can't, you know what I mean? And it was one of those things where it's like, obviously we're adults and like you have your own life and kids and I have my life and my kids and,

you know, I don't have a whole lot of time, but I was like, I have literally 10 minutes, like I would love to see you, but I have 10 or 15 minutes and that is it. And it actually worked out and super understanding and, and, you know, I'll see you when I see you, but you work, I work, I got shit to do, you got shit to do and we keep it moving, but it feels good after, right? Because it's like, okay, I'm going to make the time to, you know, go grab coffee with you, but I also need to prioritize myself as well. So yeah. And I do feel like after I've had a lot of time to, you know, really self reflect that a lot of what went wrong in my marriage is the over commitment to other things, other things and other people and prioritizing those things. Because, you know,

even for, for will or for myself, feeling like you don't want to let someone down by giving them the answer of no. That was detrimental to us in a lot of ways. And so I can look back on that now and see things now that I've kind of been able to sit by myself and look at things from a different perspective. Because when you're not just in it every single day and feeling like you're just like spinning your wheels and you finally get out of that pattern, you can look at things a little bit differently. And I will just say for us over committing to anything right now is just not something that we're doing. And I know that goes for will as well, like he's not coaching right now. Therapy is important. Jackson is important. Our mental health health is important. And anything

really outside of outside of that really isn't important. Speaking of taking care of myself and going to the gym, I want to talk to you guys about hydro drug because I know you guys have seen me post it on my Instagram before and just like keeping water intake as a priority is super important to me and I know it's super important to Lindsay. I actually have the half gallon one and the gallon one and you guys really need to get your hands on one of these. So even if you're not working out but you just want to track your water intake, this is so perfect. It's called the hydro drug. It's one of my favorite items. It's durable reusable and it holds more than half a gallon of water so you can stay hydrated all day long. You don't have to fill up your like refill

your tiny water bottles all the time. And it has a wide mouth opening too. So if you want to add ice or fruit cucumbers, I love cucumber water. I personally love it has an integrated handle and dishwasher safe, shatter proof. You guys are going to love this. They have over 40 different combinations to pick from and it's made from high quality neoprene to keep your water cooler. So I highly, highly, highly suggest doing this. Like I said, I have two different ones and I have like a carrier sleeve that I absolutely love with it and it has like little like measurements with quotes. It's super cute. So get your hydro drug at the hydro drug.com. Use discount code coffee and get 10% off your order today. Hydro drugs are game changers for anyone on the go. I promise

you even if like I said, even if you're not working out, you want this use code coffee at www.thehydrojug.com to get 10% off today. Start hydrating again. That is www.thehydrojug.com I'm having a hard time, which is also on like the list of things that people were asking about that kind of goes hand in hand with that and with what we're saying. Figuring out who I am as a person outside of being a mom and like having kids and you know, I was in two back to back really long relationships and I know that you can relate is like, who am I outside of these people? Who am I out like and people as in the X's and my children. I went on Dr. Drew's podcast last week and I think it airs this week and I'm not sure. Don't quote me on that. And I was telling him that that's

like one of the like trying to figure out who you are as a person outside of being a parent. Like my literal life revolves around, do you hear that? That's cars going by. Thank you. My life like revolves around my children and going to their stuff even when it's my off weeks and I think I told you about it before or maybe it was my therapist. I confused the two at this point. What is my podcast therapy or what? Yeah. Sometimes I need to learn to let go when I know that Javi has football practice handled. Even though I'm the team mom, like the team parent, all of the parents there are great and are capable of running a practice, you know, like I need to find who is Kale outside of being a mom and being an ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend and a mom and a

baby mama and this that and the third. Who is Kale? Like who I'm in therapy to try to work on it. I'm going to go, I'm going to continue in the gym, but like who am I? Like what is my purpose? Like, you know what you get what I'm saying? Like trying to find who the fuck I am. I feel you so hard because I think and I mean, I think this probably is just I would venture to say pretty standard for like universal. Yeah, just for most parents, but especially parents who have children very young. So I was actually talking about this just the other day. So I'm so glad that you brought this up. But to get in my situation to get married so young and then to have a baby within the first 12 months, you know, we got we got pregnant and

before our first anniversary, our son was already there. That's a lot of life changes very fast. And I think that it's hard not to just wrap your identity up in those things because those are big milestones in your life, right? It's like, okay, now I am no longer singular Lindsey, I am Will's wife and I'm Jackson's mom. And in your case, you were Joe's girlfriend, Joe's baby. I don't even know if I don't even know if I was Joe's girlfriend. I think is I don't even know what the fuck I was. And then you left, you know, got out of that situation. And then you became Harvey's wife, Isaac's mom, Lincoln's mom. And then the same thing happened. You were Chris's girlfriend. Was I that either? I don't know. Yes. Lux's mom and now Creed's mom.

And that's, that's a lot to manage. But when you're going through life every day, just trying to get to the next day, because sometimes it feels like that, like you're just what it feels like. Trying to manage life enough to be able to go to sleep and wake up and be at the next day. It's hard to find any type of personal identity when everything else seems to be more important. Right, right. Or it's like, I have to get to this next thing. I have to get to this, the next appointment, I have to get to the next day, I have to prepare like today, I'm, I don't have my kids this week. I only have, well, let me not say that I have half of my children this week. So even though I don't have Lincoln tomorrow, it's like, today is Monday, we have dentist appointments

at one o'clock. I'm already thinking about tomorrow for football practice. Like what do I need for football? I have someone, I'm doing a gift for the, for the team at the end of the season, like the photographer coming out so that we could put the photo album together. Like, I'm just thinking of all the things for tomorrow and Thursday that I, I haven't even mentally processed all the things I have to do today. I've had to learn and really this has been something that I have uncovered and I would say like the last seven weeks that you can't be everything for everyone and nothing for yourself because you're always going to end up empty. And that's a hard pill to swallow. And it's a lot of control that you're relinquishing.

Right. But at the end of the day, you have four children of your own. That's enough to say grace over. I have one and I feel like that's enough, but everybody is cut out for different things, right? So four might be your limit. One at this point of my life might be mine. I have to just take care of Jackson's obligation and I can't worry about, I'm not in a place or a season in my life to where I can be team mom and I've had to become okay with that. Like I will be there in a participant, like when I'm there and when I can be present, but outside of that and when I'm at home, I just want to be present at home with my son and not be focused on all of the other, I call it noise at this point. It's just, it's added noise to our life. This morning, actually,

I woke up and thought it was going to be just like a gravy week. I had everything planned and by the time that 10 o'clock rolled around, my Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I have no hours available to do anything. Personal care things are built into that. Multiple therapy sessions are built into that and work obligations, et cetera, being mom, but I don't have any extra time to devote to anything else and it's like, how does life get to that point where like every hour of your day seems like it's taken. It's accounted for. Yeah, literally, literally. I will say too and I don't know what your bedtime schedule looks like, but something that has been very, very helpful for me again in the past seven weeks is sticking to that 830 bedtime. Don't care. You know what,

if you didn't eat the last bite of your spaghetti or you still have one gusher left, you're leaving it because you're going upstairs to brush your teeth and you're getting in the bed because I need from 830 until 930. So I have enough time to like get my life in order. Things that need to be prepared for the next day because one thing I have learned is trying to push things off to the next day that really I should do like the day before and have time to do, but I just feel like I'm being lazy and just ready to get in the bed. I've been trying to take care of those things before bedtime. So whenever I wake up in the morning, it's like I'm not rushing around and feeling like, oh, shit, I should have done that yesterday. And if I would have done that yesterday,

I wouldn't be doing this right now. And I wouldn't be so stressed like making a schedule and sticking to it and taking care of things like little things like little things that make a huge difference. Like for me, packing a lunch in the morning is way more chaotic than just doing it the night before when I have literal six minutes to do it. And I get so pissed off at my, I love packing lunches, Lindsay. I love it. Why do we do that though? I hate it so much, but I still will wait until the last fucking minute and then still beat myself up over it. Like, and then be so mad. Yes. And I have found that it's so much easier just to do it at night, even though you're tired and you're just ready to like either get in the bath or the shower and just decompress, get on your bed and

sit there and you might be scrolling Instagram or Tik Tok or, you know, whatever you're doing, but it's just like mindless stuff so that you can just turn it off for the day. But I have really been trying to disengage on my phone. My screen time is literally down half of what it was before. And just being like, okay, you know what, I need to pack the snack and I need to make sure the water bottles are in the fridge and I need to make sure that he's got everything in his folder. All the papers are signed. Like I'm not doing any of that in the morning. I'm laying his clothes out at night, having everything prepared. So whenever we get up the next morning, it's go time. Yes. Yeah.

Are you guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our partners, GreenChef. And I am super excited about this partnership because I love finding new things that makes my life just a little bit easier. And if you guys have not heard of GreenChef, GreenChef has a meal plan for every healthy lifestyle. So keto, paleo, plant-powered diets, or even if you just want to have delicious but balanced dishes, GreenChef's expert chefs curate every recipe with over 30 meal choices every week and the flexibility to switch plans. So you'll never have to sacrifice taste for nutrition. You can enjoy restaurant quality dishes in the comfort of your own home. And with a pre-portioned, easy to follow recipes

delivered right to you, eating well has never been simpler. You never have to worry about having a plan or to shop for dinner again. And this is what really sold me on this. I can order for portions for two and then I can do three meals a week, four meals a week, whatever I choose. And I just do the balanced meals. I was going to let you guys know the two meals that I really, really love, the pecan-crusted chicken and the Middle Eastern beef bowls. If you guys are into bowls, those are really, really good. It has made my life so much easier. So if you guys would like to try GreenChef, you can go to greenchef.com slash combos 100 and use code combos 100 to get 100 to get $100 off, including free shipping. Again, you go to greenchef.com slash combos 100

and use code combos 100 to get $100 off, including free shipping. GreenChef, the number one meal kit for eating well. I also just like when my friends will text me and be like at night and be like, oh, like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm when I tell you that I'm in bed by 839 o'clock, I'm in bed by 839 o'clock. Do not bother me. Don't ask me to go out. Don't ask me to do anything. I don't want to have a conversation. I want to lay down and like literally decompress the entire day. Oh, for sure. I'm like, by the time if I get, if I get a text that late, I say that late, it's like really not that late. But it's like, if someone tells me that they're like out to dinner or, you know, do you want to come over for a glass of wine or, you know, whatever, it's like,

no, no, no. Actually, that sounds like the last thing that I want to do. No, I'm good. So I just got finished cleaning my kitchen, just lice all the bathroom because my kid got somehow managed to get shit on the toilet seat. Like, I'm good for the day. Like, I've, I've wrapped up my day and I'm good and I don't have time for all of that. So I did want to say, though, that I think that Will and I might take Jackson to the fair this weekend. Um, together. Yeah, I hate going to the, well, I don't think I've ever been to the fair by myself. So I don't really think it's fair for me to say I hate to go to the fair by myself because I haven't been by myself. But also, um, I just feel like it's crowded and it just gives me a little

bit of anxiety to be in large crowds. Um, and so I think Will's going to have to just like suck it up and go with us so that we can, we can do it. I actually saw one of, do you follow Krista Horton on Instagram? Yes, I do. She's so cute. Oh my gosh. I was laughing because they also went to the fair this past weekend and I saw like all their kids won fish and I'm just like, Oh my gosh, I, we cannot play, we cannot play a game to get a fish because then that's going to be another living thing that I have to take care of. We got fish from the fair one here and they, they lived for a long time. Yeah. I'm just not in the mood ever. Yeah. I'm not in the mood currently and I will not be for the next several years. I will not be in the mood in any near future actually ever actually. Um,

but Jackson would be the type of child that would want to play the games to fish. Yeah. Have you ever played the game? Um, it's not really playing a game. It's basically you're, you're like paying to get a stuffed animal, but it's at the, they have it at most fairs and it's like they guess your age or they guess your weight. Have you ever what? No, I would never, never. Yeah. I'm just like, is that even PC? Like how are they allowed to do that? Have you seen the TikToks that are like show, um, show your height and or it's, I think it's like, this is what five, six and 150 pounds looks like. And then there are the trend of like other women doing like showing their bodies and their weight, like kudos to them, but like I wouldn't, I personally would never,

I would never. Could you imagine like going to the fair and giving the person like, let's say it's $20 and let them guess your age and they're like, Oh, you're 40, but really like you're like 22. Uh, listen, I don't get all this Botox to look like I'm 40. Okay. And you're like, um, sir, please go home. Like please just please never say that to me again actually. Right. Like I can't be aged 10 years with all those Botox. So I think that that's what we're going to do. So you guys pray for us if we're going to the fair. Um, also people asked for us to give tips of being selfish in your twenties. And I feel like for both of us that I personally can't answer that question because I wasn't selfish in my twenties. I can answer it from a perspective of like,

if I was to go back and do my twenties again, how would I be selfish? But then I also feel like you get into a game of like, what if like, is that even realistic? You know, I don't actually have any tips for my twenties. Like I'm trying to think of like, I, I don't have any, like I had so much fun in my twenties. I went through a lot of heartbreak and a lot of, um, you don't, you can't, you can't give tips about your twenties. You just can't, you literally have to live it and you have to do it. You know what I'm saying? Like you have to do it yourself. And then your thirties, you towards the end of your, of your twenties, you reflect. And then in your thirties, you don't give a fuck and you live your best life. So like, I don't think

you can give tips about it. You know what I mean? I will say 25 to 30 were the hardest years of my life. Um, of your twenties or of like, of your life, just, I feel like of my life just in general, I feel like I, I went through a lot between those ages. Um, and the, the most growing years, although I will say, um, just in the past couple of years, which would, would fall between 25 and 30 have been the most challenging areas of my life mentally, um, emotionally and also physically. Physically. Um, I think that those years of your life are such big growing years and you're really just like trying to figure out who you are and trying to define, um, what you want in life. And this goes back to what we were talking about defining ourselves. And for me, it was

marriage and having a son. That's who I defined myself as. So I don't really feel that my twenties was figuring out who I was. I was just defining myself by my marriage and the fact that I had a child. So I don't know. I also wouldn't go back and change anything because I think it's brought me to where I am today. I mean, I'm sure that there's many things that have happened to me or have been placed upon me by like no choice of my own that I would be like, Oh, I wish that didn't happen. But decisions, um, that I have made some decisions that I've made haven't been, you know, the best, best of decisions, but I do feel like it's made me have a greater understanding of life. And until you go through the hard stuff, you can't really appreciate the good

stuff. Yeah, agreed. Very much agree. Um, I don't, I don't have anything in my twenties that I super regret or have like tips. I think it's one of those things that you kind of have to live through and experience everything on your own and reflect and know how to move forward. Um, I don't know if it's just me or if it's because like I'm doing it. So I recognize it more in other people, but I've noticed that a lot of the people that I have in my life are doing a lot of reflecting. Like we're all around the same age and we're like wanting to do more of like therapy and like things that keep us centered and grounded and, um, like more so aligned with like the good things that we want to do. Does that make sense? Like, um, obviously we're still going to fuck up.

We're still going to do, you know, make mistakes because we're human. Um, but I just, I want to do the work. Like I want to do the work of growth and change and like better decisions and, you know, things like that. So that's the biggest like walk away I have from my 20s so far. And as you all know, I'm turning 30 and six months. So, um, that's like my biggest thing is like, don't worry about what someone else would do. Just worry about like what you would do, what you want to do. I guess one thing that if I had to go back and change something, it would be being in therapy sooner. Same. Yes. 100. Yes. 100% because yes, that's all I have to say. Yes. Spot on. Yes. 100. Spot on. I, I think that had I started therapy sooner, I would have had a better understanding

of certain things that have gone on in my life that, um, maybe the outcome would have been different had I actively been in therapy because I would have known how to better assess and respond to certain situations. Right. Better coping, better, I feel like, um, there, there are things that I want to give my energy to and things that I don't want to give my energy to. And there are ways for me to give my energy to something without being petty, spiteful. You get what I'm saying? Get my point across in a way that is not offensive or brings other people into it. Does that make sense? Yes. Um, and kind of just, I don't even know what I'm trying to say, but I feel like we're saying the same thing. Yes. You're definitely, I mean, I think that

that once you have just, it just goes back to the statement of just living life and having experiences of your own, that in itself will cause you to grow and change. Um, and then going through therapy will show you how messed up you were in certain situations and how you should have handled certain situations differently. And, um, I feel like now that I am so actively invested in my mental health and for you too, that you realize what deserves your time and energy and what doesn't. And your response to things are different because you're, for me, for sure, I'm just not as quick to respond to things. I kind of like try to assess the situation, think about where the person's coming from, um, really reflect on anything before I respond.

And I will say in my twenties and really my whole life, I've been a quick, quick to respond. I feel like I need to get the last word. I feel like I need to, you know, say my piece. And I have just learned that that's not always the best. Right. No, totally. I get that. While we're on this topic, someone also asked, um, how to help your child with their mental health and how to spot bullying. Um, actually, since we've been podcasting, I have, I have a call with the school principal over at Isaac school because, um, I just, I don't, I know how because to spot it in my kids or, you know, I, I listen to what my kids are talking about. I listen to, you know, if Isaac, I ask my kids every single day, how is their day? Um, but not every kid will open up. Not every kid is going

to tell you what's going on. And so, um, that's hard. And I don't know if I would know how to spot it. If Isaac didn't open up the way he does, or if Lincoln didn't open, my kids are very open with me, you know, so I would be, I would be asking the same question if my kids didn't open up, you know, like how do you spot it in your own children? If you don't know, and how do you spot it in your children? If they're the ones doing the bullying, correct? Um, like Isaac, Isaac said something to me over the weekend, not to me. He actually said it to, you know, one of the other kids. He said, so and so is so annoying. And I looked at him and I said, don't do that. I said, don't do that because you wouldn't want someone to say that about you. Um, so we're not going to do that. And

you know, I don't know what that looks like in, in school. Like, does that turn into bullying? Oh, so and so is annoying. I don't want to hang out with them or whatever. I'm like, we're not going to do that. We're not going to, because if you say he's annoying and then someone else chimes in and says they're annoying and then so, you know what I mean? Like we're not, you're not going to be the leader, the ringleader here. Well, since you said that you had a call with the principal, um, I also, oh, Jackson's teacher and email because he came home right before fall break and told me there was a specific kid in his class that was bullying him and another child and that he would get them in the bathroom and tell them if they told

what he was doing, then he would punch them and push them against the wall. Oh, okay. And like, at this point, I'm like, where are your parents? Cause we're about to square up. I'm about to put, put their parents against the wall. Oh my gosh. But for real, it makes you, it makes you feel like that. And it's like, okay, where did this kid learn this from and how is this going on? And um, I asked Jackson, you know, we have very open conversations in our house and that's something that I'm trying to really help will with too. Um, that you have to have open and candid conversations and you have to ask questions and make him feel comfortable. Like he can tell you things. And um, I never would betray Jackson's, you know, if he's confiding something in me as

long as it's something that isn't going to hurt someone else, then, you know, I, his secret's safe with me and I'm not going to tell anyone, but I did tell him, you know, in this situation with the bullying, I said, you don't have to worry about telling on him because I'm going to tell on him. And he's like, you are. And I said, yes, I am going to tell on him and I am going to deal with this situation. And I need to know exactly what went on in the bathroom. So when I am telling your teacher this, I have all of the facts to go, you know, to her with. So, and don't leave anything out. Like if you've done something that has caused him to say these things to you, then you need to let me know that too. So that I'm not going into this conversation blinded blinded. Right. And

um, he said, well, he does it to me and so and so. And he said, I think he thought that I was going to tell on him. And so he apologized to me in the bathroom. And so I didn't tell on him, but then he keeps doing the same things to me every day. And, but then it's like, at what point how, and how do you teach them to stick up for themselves? That's the thing that I'm struggling with now is like, when I have a conversation with Joe, it's like, how do you teach a child to have the confidence and to have the tools to stick up from themselves and in an appropriate way? Because it's not something that you can demonstrate on a regular basis on how to stick up for yourself when you're being bullied. So it's like, how do you, that is something that I want to get like

context on because obviously you want him to be safe and secure in the situation until he can tell you, you know what I mean? Until you can do something about it. Are you guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our newest partners, paint your life. And I actually heard about this from one of my girlfriends. And I thought that is such a great idea for like a gift for a birthday or anniversary or a wedding. But I also thought that must be really expensive. But after I looked into it, not so much, the paintings are truly affordable and the quality is absolutely amazing. I recently did this of a family photo of us at the beach from, I believe it was right out a year ago. I absolutely just loved the photo and thought,

why not get it painted? And I was so impressed. The artist really captured the photo so well. You can get professional hand painted portrait created from any photo at a truly affordable price or you can combine photos of people or places that you love into one painting, which I also think is a really cool idea. And then you can choose from a team of world class artists and work with them until every detail is perfect. It's user friendly. So it makes it easy to order a custom made hand painted portrait in less than five minutes. And it's super fast. You can receive your portrait in as little as two weeks. And you just send any picture. So a picture of yourself, your children, I chose a family photo, a special place or someone that you loved who isn't around

anymore, a cherished pet or another idea that I thought was really cool is even an action shot of you or your children playing their favorite sport. And I just think this makes the perfect birthday anniversary or wedding gift because it's so meaningful, personal, and it can be cherished forever. And at paint your life.com, there's no risk. So if you don't love the final painting, your money is refunded guaranteed. And right now, as a limited time offer, you can get 20% off your painting. That's right, 20% off and free shipping to get this special offer text the word pod to 64,000. That's pod to 64,000. Text pod to 64,000 paint your life celebrate the moments that matter most terms apply available at paint your life.com slash terms. Again, text pod to 64,000.

I wish there was an expert that could like come on and talk to us about this kind of stuff because there has to be I'm sure we could find because Joe texts me last night, it was like, you know, he I because Isaac's in a very similar situation. And he was like, he needs to stick up for himself. And I'm not saying that I disagree. But how do you how do you can't give somebody that confidence? And I see so much of myself and Isaac as a child, like I just didn't, I didn't want to do the wrong thing. Like I never wanted to do the wrong thing. And I think that's like, when you think of gentle parenting and things like that and how you handle, like other things actually helps with like the opening the dialogue for like, coming to, you know, your parents about bullying is like, you know,

you're not going to get in trouble for other things are going to work through it. And how you like, I'm trying, I'm trying to like connect the dots on what I'm trying to say. I tell Jackson all the time, like, you're never going to get in trouble for being honest with me, like, right, right. Like if they can trust me, say like they broke a glass or something, right? And you come to me and you're like, Hey, mom, I broke the glass. Like, wow, that sucks, like whatever. But like, thank you for coming to me, like little things like that, where they're building trust to come to you about things. So that when something like this, like bullying, or something at school happens, they know that they can come and have a conversation and know that they're not going to get in

trouble or it's not going to get flipped on them. Does that make sense? Correct. And I, yes, I feel like so many people probably deal with the same experiences and probably feel so alone because I don't really feel like people really talk about it. Because you don't want someone to know that, you know, your child is the victim of bullying. And then on the other hand, other people who have children who bully probably don't want people to know that their kids bully. But I do feel like having open conversations and bringing awareness to this. And hearing other people's stories will make us also not feel so alone because it does sometimes just feel lonely. Like when he comes home and says stuff like that to me, it literally breaks my heart. So like I literally just like

crumble into pieces. And I, I feel like we see this so often also, you know, on the news, like you see stuff about bullying or there was something that I saw a couple of football seasons ago about, I don't know, you might remember this whenever I tell the story, but it's about this little boy who got made fun of for having like a Tennessee volunteers like shirt or something for the football team. And I don't think I heard of this. He got, he got bullied over this. And then the actual, I think I'll have to look for the story, but Tennessee like came forward and helped in this bullying situation and made the kid feel really special. And so I feel like that this does just happen so often and early education on stuff like this is so important, like sexual abuse,

bullying, having these open conversations with our kids to know really what's going on. And sometimes I feel like I don't really feel like I ever had conversations with my parents about bullying or anything like that. Never. I never did. Or, you know, sexual abuse or or anything like that. But I guess we're like a more woke generation. Well, I think, yeah, I think in our, like now we know better. So we're trying to do better. And, you know, we want, we don't want to make those same mistakes. And not that I don't think our parents like meant anything by it. They probably just didn't realize the impact that and the awareness, you know, that we have now about it and the impacts of it is like completely different. And

then there, there are some people who feel like, Oh, well, bullying has been going on for forever. But I just think that, yeah, I do agree with that. But I think that now it's very different because it can continue outside of school. It can continue on social media, text messages, like they didn't, where we didn't necessarily have that or not to the degree that we do now. So it's just very different now. But I would love to have someone on that could talk about it and maybe how to, for kids who don't know really where to start and defending themselves, like how we can teach them to do that and how to stick up for themselves in an appropriate way. And feel good about themselves, but also stand up for themselves as well.

Correct. And I, I mean, I also feel for this other kid too, who's, who's been doing the bullying because, you know, obviously something is going on. Yeah, right. For that to be going on. But also, I truly feel as a mother that if I have to be heartbroken for hearing about it and someone feels comfortable enough to threaten my son in this way and another child in this way, that I should feel comfortable enough to go to the teacher, draw awareness to this situation. And if their day is ruined over it or their child's day is ruined over it, maybe it will cause change. Right. Right. That's a good point too. That's a really good point. In other news, I was asked for an update on the paint gun purchase. Oh yeah. How's that going?

So I got a text right before Will and Jackson left for the beach. And the text was just very short and was kind of like, um, yeah, I don't think I'm going to be using the paint gun. Got extra wide rollers to paint the walls. And I'm like, oh, okay. So this weekend I go over there because Will and I are going to be working on a house project together and I'll give more updates later down the road when that's solidified. But I go over there and I'm walking the house and I go into the room where the paint gun is and I see it on the wall and it's just like very lightly dusted on the wall and like very minimal coverage. Right. So I look at him, he's standing in there and I said, so is this where you attempted to use this, the spray gun? And he said, yeah,

I think I'm just going to, you know, use these extra wide rollers. That's, that's not really going to work. And I said, yeah, I mean, I could have told you that, like, I did tell you that, but whatever. Um, I said, and plus I'm pretty sure if you use that paint gun all over these walls, you would use an extreme amount of paint because it's giving you like no coverage whatsoever. And now I feel like I need to go over to his house after I get done recording and just take a picture of the wall before he covers it up so people can see like what this looks like. And please do also for them never to do it ever again. Yeah. I, um, nobody needs to repeat his mistakes. I can't wait to see it. Please send me a picture. And also I feel like he needs to

return his paint gun and get his money back. 1000% will. Hey, it's Kail. I just wanted to leave you a quick message to say that you should probably return your paint gun, probably would, um, do more harm than good. But, um, let me know when you get this message and we'll talk to you soon. I love that you feel like you're leaving him a voicemail on here. Like, please stop. Also, I'm dead because I was doing a Q and a, um, on my Instagram over the weekend and people, so many people asked if I miss the dollar store candles and I can confidently tell you, no, I don't miss the dollar store candles because I don't miss the headaches that were associated. Um, however I died because whenever I walked in to his house this weekend, I saw

one of those candles. It was, um, one of the larger ones sitting on his mantle and it was burning very proudly and I could faintly smell it. That, that midnight smell is just, even though I haven't fully regained all of my smell back from having COVID. Um, it's, it's something that could probably, if I smelled it, put my nose to it long enough, it probably could bring my smell completely back. Um, but he had it displayed on his mantle like very proudly. So like I said on Instagram, the dollar store candle, our candles live on in the Campbell household. Um, I hope that they would pass away at some point and thought that after I found the article that a dollar store candle had like blown up and whatever told Will that information thought that that would keep him from

being a repurchaser, but evidently he didn't care about that. So he, he's still burning it and, and loving it also. So, um, another thing before we go that I promised that I would just talk about on here is about my relationship with Will now. Um, a lot of people said that it seems like we're closer now than we were before. And without going into too much detail, I agree with that statement. I feel like sometimes when you get in a rut in any relationship, um, sometimes you have to get out of it in order to be able to move forward in a positive and constructive way. Um, and I do feel like we're able to communicate. Will has never been the greatest communicator, but I do feel like we're able to communicate better and there's just more honest and open conversation that is happening

and maybe it's taken for us to just like be able to be in our own thoughts and be not with each other up each other's butt 24 seven to be able to think, you know, like right, right, right. Be able to have a clear strain of thought. What is the saying? Like sometimes you have to fall apart so better things can fall together and that doesn't necessarily mean that you guys are going to turn around and you know, stay or not stay married, but like sometimes like things really have to fall apart for you guys to rebuild whatever that may be, you know, whether it's together or separate, but to build something better, you guys had this had to happen. So, um, I'm cheering for you guys, whatever, whatever way and direction that y'all go, I'm, I'm here. I

want to be supportive. I'll leave will a hundred more voicemails, um, whatever you need me to do. I love, I love that so much. Um, I had also said that in big, I'm not easily, and, and you know this, I'm not easily influenced on anything. Like I have a mind of my own and it has been great in life, but also what do they say? Like your best quality can be your worst weakness too. I've never heard that. That's interesting, but that, that's true to me. Um, sometimes me having a mind of my own and not listening to anyone else has been a detriment, but then also me having a mind of my own and not really giving a fuck what anybody says has been beneficial too. And I just want it to be known that I love everyone who listens to us weekly,

listens to my other podcast weekly, listens to baby mama's weekly, uh, follows us on Instagram. But at the end of the day, um, I don't really care what wills family thinks my family thinks any single follower thinks what I choose to do. Um, and my big life decisions is going to be my choice and I'm going to do it like when I choose to do it. So I just want that you should to be clear as you should. So with that being said, I think that, um, we have exhausted our therapy session for the day. Um, and I know that you've got to go and pick your kids up to go and get their teeth cleaned. So, um, if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast, make sure you follow us over there. I don't want to speak too soon, but I feel like we have such

good things coming and I'm so excited. Um, so make sure you follow us on Instagram for all updates. And then if you have not subscribed to our show, you can do that on the purple podcast app spotify or any other podcast app of your choice. I hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to y'all soon. See ya.