Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 201: Episode 2 Recap, Javi Wants To Marry A Chrisley, and Addressing More Drama

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

On this week's episode of Coffee Convos, Kail and Lindsie are joined by Javi to recap and discuss the second episode of Teen Mom Family Reunion. What felt fake, what felt genuine, and what was up with those kayaks? They talk about the therapy aspects to the show, and discuss how they think those segments could be improved. And of course, there is always tea to be spilled! Then Javi gets a dose of classic Coffee Convos antics in a round of F*ck Marry Kill and then some embarrassing and gross stories. And there is always more drama to address. Lindise asks Kail and Javi to elaborate more on the Briana situation, and to address Briana's recent comments about it all. This episode was sponsored by: Peloton & Native Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

All right, you guys, welcome back to another episode of Coffee Combo's podcast. Hey, why do you feel, not feel, why do you sound like Rast McGrass? I don't know, Hav, you need to come closer, please. Is it this one? No, this is a Zoom recording. Oh, so these are just for show. These are for baby mamas. Oh.

Why is my voice like this? She's been screaming all weekend. That's why. Hey, Havie. Not for sexual reasons. No, we were in Atlanta for Lincoln's football tournament and I got a little rowdy on the field. I was ready. I was cheering.

I was screaming. Love that for you. You were in your backyard. Why didn't I get the pleasure of seeing you? First of all, you didn't get the pleasure of seeing me because the roads were bad. And if you guys have listened to Coffee Combo's podcast for a while, Havie, I know that you're a frequent listener. And Jackson got in that golf cart accident.

I couldn't get like in a car crash trying to slide, you know, like on over to Ackworth. I think that's where y'all were. We were in Norcross. Oh, Norcross. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. So, you know, I was being, I was being safe.

I was being a safe mom. I'll tell you what, you that little sprinkle of snow really shut down the entire city. The gas stations were closed. Starbucks was closed. Chick-fil-A was closed. Meanwhile, our kids are out there playing on the football field in the snow and everything is shut down. We could be out of our time even finding food for the kids to eat.

When I tell you that is how it is in the south. Maybe it's just Georgia. Maybe it's just Atlanta. I have no idea. But like literally everything shuts down and it's like a ghost town and it's terrifying. So we had a great time. It was so much fun with all the kids.

I will say that for the rest of this week, I'm going to need some time by myself because of everybody's like, I love the football team. I love all the parents, but just being around so many people for such a long period of time, I just need like a little bit of a, a couple of days to decompress a little bit and unwind. But we, so the tournament was under D one nation. And we ended up leaving with a one and two record.

We played North Carolina, which with those were some big boys. I don't know if they were like feeding their kids a raw diet or like what was going on, but they were playing their nine year olds because those kids, they did not look like they were seven to me. But ultimately they ended up playing, you know, a better game than we did. And so we lost to North Carolina and then we lost to what we thought

was supposed to be California, but it ended up being Georgia, I guess. Again, not really sure if they were actually seven year old or not. And then we won against Illinois. It was 19 to zero, which should have been 24 nothing because. Or what 20.

Me and my life. Will wanted you guys to know that y'all came to play football in the South and that's probably what happens. Well, I think it's unfortunate because the teams do cheat. I'm not saying that we played. We're cheating in little league. Let's call it out. Were they cheating?

I'm serious. Like these, they do cheat like a hundred percent. And it just makes it unfair. Like the family spend thousands of dollars apiece to be there. And so it just sucks when the kids don't have a fair chance. Like we're not affiliated in any way with the other seven year Delaware team, but we know for a fact that they put nine year olds on their team.

So on their seven year team. So if Delaware did it, the other Delaware did it, then why? How did other teams do it? And they don't check. Once you get on the field and you check in, they don't, they, you could literally pull kids from eight, you, nine, you, 10, you,

and nobody knows. Do you remember when I told you that Jackson was doing all stars over the summer? Yeah. And then I had to put that whole booklet together or whatever. And there had to be birth certificates. Yes. You are not eligible for tournaments.

Unless all of your kids are accounted for with a birth certificate. So us too. But we, that's the thing is that one of the other teams that had players that we knew, I saw their birth certificates through being a team mom. For Lincoln's regular season team. And so they played in that league and we all have books with birth

certificates. So we saw the original, which means that they photoshopped the birth certificates for the, for the, for the, Eddie and called it out because we did. We did. We did.

We did. Harvey. You called it out. What did you say? Here's the thing. It's like, I told Harvey, I said, here's the thing. Like we don't want to be associated with the other, the other Delaware seven you, because if it gets brought up,

they cheated, you know, we have targets on our back and people will automatically assume it was hobby and me. For sure. I'm actually, we were friends with the coaches. And so we texted them and ended up, we talked to them on the phone. And so, but they, I mean, it just was a shit show. So in their words, they'll do whatever it takes to be.

The South. The South. Yeah. So I said, that's fine. Don't that me up. Don't that blinking up. Don't that anyone that's don't that me up and leave it at that. Y'all can do what you do. We'll go out there and we'll compete and we'll see what happens. The thing is that it's not flag, right? Like this isn't flag. This is tackle.

And when you put seven year olds against nine year olds or 10 year olds, it's just not. They could get seriously hurt. That's the, that's the thing. Like y'all want to cheat in baseball, whatever y'all want to cheat in soccer? Okay. But tackle is like, I mean, you're, you tackle people to the ground. Like there's a difference.

Well, when you're dealing with a couple of years, age gap with kids that are that age, that's a huge gap. And even a seven year old that is the best athlete still likely is not going to be able to compete. With a 10 year old size. Agreed. Agreed. Anyhow.

Yeah. Let's, can we please get into this episode recap? Because I have so many notes. So do I. I've stayed up past my bedtime. I don't, I don't believe how he said he watched it. Cause I kept reminding him. I don't even know if he watched it.

So we're just going to get into it and see what commentary he adds. I love it. Okay. So we're, we're excited. I love it. Okay. So where, where exactly do you want to start? Because I was, um, I have a lot to say, um, on the episode,

but then I have a lot to say about some stuff that went down on Instagram as well. So if you want to get into the episode first, we can do that. Um, and then I can get into the other stuff. Cause I got screenshots galore going on on this map. I cannot wait. Okay. So we're at teen mom family reunion episode two, and episode one had ended with Ashley twerking in the fight with Jade.

Um, and then episode two, we're still on night one. So we're still kind of continuing what happened in night in episode one, which I felt like was like, come on, you guys, let's, let's keep it moving. Okay. So, um, The life coach is weird to me. Um, I, I want to know who the fuck, you know, coach B is, was it coach B or miss B or life? I don't, whatever her name is, what are her credentials? Because I don't, what is she? She's a life coach. What does that even mean?

Can any of us be a life coach? Um, I think you have to get some type of credentials to be a certified life coach or whatever, but is that the same thing as like same type of credentials as being like a certified lifeguard? Like I have no idea. I've been coaching Kale her entire life. So I'm a life coach. No wonder I'm just failing. Um, so in this fight, Jade really isn't shit. Like she pissed me off because she literally is complaining that Ashley hurt

her feelings by attacking her body image. And then in the same exact breath calls her a skinny bitch. So please explain to me how you are crying about body shaming and then body shaming. And you're also BFF with someone who also body shames. Yes. So I thought that it was a bit hypocritical. Um, as all of this was going down and I will say, I felt like the drama between Ashley and Jade was so intense and so just like off the chain. Um, that I am going to agree with Brianna on

this and her telling Jade that she looked very bothered while Ashley looked unbothered. Um, and you know, I think that that was good for Brianna to stand up to her and say, you know, like you need to tone it down. Um, let her know that her loyalty lies with her, but she needs to like calm it down because she definitely did. And then to your point, the exact quote was stupid skinny little bitch. Um, how are you going to sit and call somebody a stupid skinny little bitch when you then have just talked about in the previous episode

how you've been bullied by her for so many years and it's all this pent up anger that you have and once Ashley held accountable. But then yet in the heat of a moment, you jump to calling her a stupid skinny little bitch. I mean, make it make sense. I literally wrote that make it make sense. I could also really do without the acting like this wasn't specifically for drama. The entire show was for drama for this to happen.

So everyone acting like this wasn't what it was supposed to be. That's exactly what it's for. It's for drama drama brings ratings, ratings bring money. I don't know why anyone is saying, Oh my God, like I can't believe this happened on night one. You know, can we keep it moving? Can we get nobody wants to watch everyone get along? That's not how this that's not how this works. But also have you were you invited to this?

I was not. So that's an interesting. I wanted to ask you on for the first time ever on here because yesterday I had seen somebody. I don't know if it's new old, whatever. I was like, where the fuck is Mackenzie Mackenzie from team mom. Oh, gee, the blonde hair. I was like, where the hell is she?

So I get on, you know, Instagram or whatever and people sent me screenshots from Cheyenne's Instagram saying that everyone was invited. Mackenzie McKee claims that she was not invited. And I know for a fact now that you were not invited. V was not invited and neither was Joe. So that's all a scam and a lie. Well, we're also pretty boring. No, I think we're the most fun to watch because we're a train wreck.

Sure. And if they wouldn't text on a toilet and kick rocks, that's probably what would you have gone if I went? Yeah, if you were to win, I wouldn't have considered it. I wouldn't. Okay. But like if they talk to you about it and we would have made a decision because that's so interesting. I feel like it would have been.

After all of the Brianna and Javi and me drama that has gone down, I guess I'm surprised that they didn't ask you because even without me, you also could have worked some friendship out. You know what I mean? I don't take them back to. Oh, okay. So I mean. All right, kitty gang, we are going to take a quick break to talk

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for two months and then it is 12.99 per month. After new members only, visit onepeloton.com slash app to learn more. That's two months free at o-n-e-p-e-l-o-t-o-n.com. And this offer expires on January 31st, 2022. Terms apply. So Jade, after all of this happens, she says that she feels like it wasn't really about what she said, but it was how she

said it. And I can really relate to this because I struggle with that a lot in my life. Like sometimes my delivery is very harsh and I don't mean for it to be, but I'm just like a very straightforward person. But I think this is a little bit different when your delivery literally just immediately resorts to violence. There's a big issue there.

And so I think this is very different than how she was kind of kind of downplaying it a little bit, in my opinion. And then fast forward in the episode, she does this generic apology and Ashley makes such a good point and says, you didn't try to fight the room. You tried to fight me. So like, why are you apologizing generically to everyone, but to a woman enough to come to me and apologize?

Agreed. I wholeheartedly agree with that. And can we just note that? So I don't think Ashley's apology was fake. I think that like Ashley said in the episode, she doesn't have to be disrespectful to someone just because she doesn't like them. She can still have like a civil conversation. And I said that on last week's recap.

But let me just say that 15 minutes into episode two, and it's like a little bit of a struggle. We have four minutes for one. I was bored. And I wrote in my notes that I understand that I'm going to come off like a huge hater of this show, but like fucking snooze vest. Like I'm bored.

We need to carry on. And I'm just like over it by minute, 15. Why don't you feel like that by minute 15? Because he probably didn't watch laughing because I was probably But they needed to drag the episode on from night one into episode two because there wasn't like enough going on that would have been a good lead-in to start it. I felt like the challenges were a little basic and just like not great. And the writing was all over the wall that they were going to pair up.

Ashley and Jade. Okay, time out. Time out. You're right there because the kayak activity is a complete rip-off of what Javi and I did on Marriage Boot Camp. This show, whatever, whoever actually came up with this activity was one, not original, and two, it wasn't done crop correctly. Javi and I did this with, I think it was paddleboards in 2016 on Marriage Boot Camp.

I believe we were on season eight or nine of Marriage Boot Camp, and Javi was blindfolded and had to paddle, and I had to give him directions. And it actually is not about who gets to the finish line first, and that's how they did it on Team Mom Family Reunion, which really pissed me off because that's not how it works. It's whoever communicates the best, not whoever gets to the finish line first. So that really irritated me, and there's no beef between a lot of these people that were on the kayaks. In actual therapy, the line of communication is supposed to be for people who need to communicate

on a regular fucking basis. So when Cheyenne and Brie won, that didn't make any fucking sense because they're not the ones that had issues, and that needed to a lesson in how to communicate and understand each other. Where Javi and I, we were actually the last people to cross the finish line at Marriage Boot Camp, and we flipped, but never once did we yell at each other, and never once did we freak out. We just communicated all the way through, and we ended up winning, even though we were

like an hour behind everybody else. So one of the notes that I wrote here was that there's no beef between any of these people on the kayak, with the exception of Ashley and Jade. So it's actually useless for people who don't have to communicate outside of this. For Marriage Boot Camp, it made sense for couples and co-parents, so the only couple that it actually made sense for on Teen Mom Family Reunion was Ashley and Jade. And also wrote down that Brianna looks absolutely crazy trying to kayak, and I was fucking crying. Okay, so I don't think that there's a lot of athletic ability in the Teen Mom franchise

outside of Jose. And Corey, because he's been on the challenge. Yeah, that's my guys. Jose, Corey, and I think Macy's probably pretty athletic. Yeah, I can see that. We'll keep it at that. I could kayak. I have a whole highlight reel on my Instagram called Kale and the Kayaks, so I own about

eight of them. So I think that they should have just told me that they were going to do a kayaking exercise and I could have taught everyone how to fucking do it. Yeah, so I do think that that execution was poor, and I think if they were going to do that, why wouldn't you pair up Amber and Gary? That's my whole point is that that's what it should have been. It should have been Ashley and Barr, and it should have been Gary and Amber, and it should have been Jade and Ashley.

That one makes sense, but Leah and Amber, that makes no sense at all. I think what they were trying to do was not executed properly, and then I like when Jade said that it shows her growth, and I was cracking up because I'm like, yeah, after one fucking kayak, you're definitely growing. Like 100%, you're so fucking, your growth, your growth is showing, definitely. Your growth is definitely showing. Like I realized that and the kayaking activity that lasted all of 30 seconds. Thank you, ma'am.

This is me and my baby daddies. I would pair up, like we would have to do, Chris and Javi would have to be together, and then me and Joe would have to be together, and then Lindsay and V would have to be together. I wouldn't be on it. I wouldn't be on it, call me Shady Sheila, don't give a fuck. Anyhow, moving on from that, I will say, even though you're not a fan of the life coach, I do think that she gave some good advice when she said, when you get in a space and feel triggered, you should tell yourself that you worked too hard.

And that's something that you and I have actually talked about maybe in different words on coffee combos over a period of time, that you don't want to put yourself in situations that cause you to come out of character. And so I think that was good advice. I don't know. She seems funny to me. That's just my opinion. But I'm also ripping this show apart.

I feel like I hate her, but I'm hoping that as episodes go on, that I actually have a change of heart. I noticed that Leah has her full makeup done on every single scene, but she's not in any scenes. She's pretty much not in any so far. For most people, the New Year means rethinking how they take care of themselves. Native makes it easy to switch to a personal care brand that makes all their products with simple ingredients.

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That's not Ashley's friend. That's Jade's friend. I mean, Jade's friend. Jade's friend, Chow. Is that how you say her name? I'm not sure how to pronounce it, but I also wrote that, and I put the crying laughing face on my notes, because she put MTV in her bio and stuff, and nobody knows who the fuck she is.

I literally wrote that down. I said after some Instagram sleuth thing, I found that she has MTV in her bio, so immediate fucking red flag. Immediate red flag. Well, I think I'm making friends to the show. That's what I said. That's what I said on episode. On one hand, I like it because previous things that we've gotten invited to, like when we

were married, you weren't allowed to go to anything with me. On one hand, because I've been there and had to go alone to things, I'm glad that they allowed people to invite someone, but the fact that they have invited some random ass girl that has never been on even Team Mom, I was just like, what is she doing here? You know what I mean? So like Ashley brought Bar, Cheyenne brought her fiance, Gary and Amber went, Macy didn't bring anybody, who at Leah brought her boyfriend, like so everyone, but like Jade brings some random person we've never seen or heard of.

That's so interesting, right? Yeah. I'm going to put MTV in my bio. Yeah. I was about to ask Kavi, like, do you have MTV in your bio? Because if you do, well, I look like put MTV in my bio. I'm dead. Okay.

So the life coach also said, Kale, unless you love yourself, you cannot receive love and I 1000% agree with that statement as well. I do agree with that. I will say like, it's very hard, like when you're not feeling 100%, it's very, very, very difficult to accept love from somebody else. And like, that's been something that I struggle with on a regular basis. Like when I'm in a relationship, when they, when someone tells me, oh, I love you, or I really care about, it's like, why, why me?

Like I have a hard time. So how can you do it? So it's just weird to deal with like on a regular basis, but I also agree with you. I do agree with that statement. I wrote down that Jade sounds like she's going to cry every single time she speaks, which makes me cringe and also irks my soul. Not that I should be diagnosing anyone with anything, but I kind of think that Jade might have some form of anxiety.

But maybe don't come to a show like this if you're going to cry every single time you speak. Yeah. Like I kind of think that that might be where it's coming from. I do not like the fact that they allowed them to bring. It seems like whoever they wanted to, I feel like the person that they bring should make sense. Like if Jade wanted to bring like her mom or Sean, you know, I think Sean was in rehab,

but like bring your mom, right? Like something that makes sense that would actually help you because if it's a therapy based show, it should make sense. So the life coach has this game where you stand up and you say something about yourself that you like about yourself. It's called the I am circle. I am. Yeah.

The I am circle. So the first person that stands up says that she's a giver. I don't remember who was the first person. Cheyenne stands up and she says that she's a giver. Everyone stands up because they resonate with this. Like for Ashley, Ashley doesn't stand up and I just feel like this is very surface level. This is crap. This is not real therapy and it's an embarrassment to what real therapy looks like because I'm

not in therapy talking about something that I like about myself and have other people resonating why that resonates with them. Like that's not as a joke. It's so surface level and it's just even marriage bootcamp just did such a good job with this stuff. And when I see this on MTV on Team Mom Family Reunion, I'm kind of embarrassed because they couldn't even dig deep enough to like marriage bootcamp level. Like I just, I can't.

The only person out of this whole thing, so Cheyenne says she's a giver. Everybody stands up. Brianna says I am strong. Where is she strong? Let's save that for a little bit later. You have anything to say about that? Is Brianna strong? I'm yawning because this show sounds boring.

I'm glad I didn't watch it. I need a meme of Ashley mad as fuck and says I'm great. Like I need a meme of that immediately. Well, when Brianna says this, Ashley says that when you have to raise a kid and parent, but you lacked it, it straight takes a strong person to navigate that and it immediately made me think of you. Oh, I did my best. I'm doing my best.

You do do your best, but I feel like it would be really hard when you did not have what you would consider like a positive influence to kind of show you the way to be a parent. It's something you have to learn all on your own. Like it's not something that you were kind of taught and then you learn some on your own. You literally did everything on your own. That is a fact. That is the truth. Even people that have like both parents in their household, I think can still struggle

and still have to work it out. But yeah, to your point, when you don't have a parent or both parents, I would agree that you just have to you figure it out completely on your own. So when Macy stands up, she says that she's a good mom and Amber does not stand up. I do like what Leah says. She says that everyone's 100% looks different. So I know that Amber gets a lot of backlash for who she is and how she is as a mom, but that may be her 100%.

Correct. So I just hope that Amber continues this process when she gets home, because if she does feel like she's lacking as a mom, like she got something that she could work on. I mean, did you ever meet Amber? I don't think so. Maybe I said hi to her, but I probably never had a conversation with her. Got it. I love that she was accountable in this exercise and said that she had let anger take over

her life and how she wasn't there and, you know, she had been in jail and an addict and felt like every time she has a child, she fucks up. Daisy then says that this is the first time that she had ever heard Amber speak about prison as a learning experience and a consequence for her actions. And I think that's big. I think that's huge. Even though this exercise might not have been great, it could have been poorly executed. I do feel like Amber out of everyone got something out of it.

I do actually like that Amber earlier in the episode. She says she wants to be the person to protect everyone else from like fighting and like that physical abuse, which if anyone is going to have like a motherly figure or some type of like guidance on that, it would be Amber because she's been through all of that. I know last week I said that I wasn't really a fan of Cheyenne and Macy saying that they like have the motherly roles over the other girls just because some of us have been moms longer than the OGs. So no shade.

I'm just saying like Amber makes a good point. I could not stop looking at Gary when they were on like the little island. He reminds me so much of Joe and I think it's the chin strap. I was just like, oh my God, they're one and the same. And they're just like very like mellow approach to things. Just like Gary just screamed Joe to me. And I love that Gary makes it a priority that Leah should know her brother, which is Amber's other child.

Did you know that Amber had another child? I didn't know. She has a son, James. Yeah, with a guy. Yeah. So I like that he that's a priority for for him to, you know, explain that to Leah, Leah, the daughter, not Leah Messer. Did any of our listeners buy Gary's sperm?

He makes a comment about selling his sperm. Would you buy it, Lindsay? Why the fuck would you put me on the spot like that first of all, all Gary out and said that he needs to like shave off the chin strap. Now I have to tell you that no, I would not buy Gary sperm. Okay. I was just wondering if it was just a question. Maybe girl, like I'm not buying anybody's sperm.

Was Caitlin invited to this to Caitlin and Tyler come up at any point, do you think? I think that they did at some point, but didn't either Macy or Cheyenne say that Caitlin had just had the baby? Okay. Well, Cheyenne just had the baby because she was pumping in this episode. Yeah. I didn't want to say that I thought the private island thing also was very poorly executed because the group was weird.

Like Macy, Gary, and Brianna, that was just really weird. My final thought on this was that marriage bootcamp was way deeper than this and this show was a good idea, but the execution was zero out of 10 for me and this entire thing could have been a two hour special. I can't wait to see if next week is better because I am just waiting for the episode of the bitch that gets pulled out on the stretcher and the ambulance comes. I can't wait for that. To wrap this up at the end, Jade and Ashley talk, they hear each other out.

However, Jade still came back at her talking about how Ashley was downplaying, but she did say that she felt like Ashley's apology was real and it was good to see them be able to have a conversation as women instead of idiots. I also agree with Ashley that Jade needed her moment and she got it, so kudos to her. I literally talked to Kristen before we recorded this episode and I was like, I think I'm done watching the show. I don't even think I can recap anymore because I feel like we're just going to be haters for the first half of these episodes for the next nine weeks.

I just can't promise that I'm going to be able to finish this whole season. I just can't promise it. The recap on a good note, where's my guy Corey? I know he's fly. Where's he at? Did he get invited? I thought he was on the show. Was he?

We need to know if Corey was invited. I saw him in a preview. No, that's not Corey. Oh, well, good thing I asked. That's the only reason why I was watching. What is Cheyenne's fiance who literally looks so much like Corey? They don't look alike. Yeah, they do.

No, they do not look alike. They don't look alike at all to me. Okay, are Cheyenne's baby dad's twins? That's like everyone who says that Joe and Javi look alike. They look absolutely. No one says that. Yes, people, people not used to say that all the time. It was sick.

I'm like, you guys are literally so dumb. I don't know if y'all need your eyes shed, but Joe and Javi, they look not even a little bit alike. They literally look nothing alike. No one's ever heard of that. People really said that. I'm not kidding. Literally just made it up.

But great, Kale, I'm ready to move on from this. I am ready to play a game with Javi because he probably won't be interested in our other bullshit. I'm never interested in Kale's bullshit. But I have to read a disclaimer to you because we are going to play this fan favorite game called Fuck Mary Kill. Trust me, I've been a listener. I know the game.

And the only rule of the game is you have to fuck Mary and kill in every category and you cannot pass. I don't want to play. You have to. And if you do pass, we will be talking about your murder on the next true crime. This game is for fun only. It's not meant to be taken seriously in any way, shape or form. So before anyone gets offended by anything, this is not meant to be offensive in any way.

It is all in good fun. And with that being said, Kale, do you want to read the first Fuck Mary Kill? Okay. So this is, you have to pick Savannah Chrisley, Macy McKinney, or Lea Messer. I'm going to marry your sister. Good choice. Marry and kill. We say instead of saying like kill somebody, we say harass.

All right, and then I'll probably harass Lea and then I'll sleep with Macy. It's a good choice. I mean, I can't get better than that. I can see the headlines now. Javi, Mary Quinn wants to fuck Macy McKinney. Okay. The second one is Fuck Mary Kill, me, Rihanna, Mariam, Dehesu, Soto. But who the fuck put her full fucking name on it?

Who the fuck did that? I'm going to kill Rihanna. No, harass. Oh, harass. I already married you and it didn't work out. Sleep with me. Sleep with you. And Lindsay, let's meet at the altar.

Okay. I'll be the witness. Okay. The third one. Who the fuck made these? Huh? Okay. Fuck Mary Kill, Julie Chrisley, Barbara Evans and Roxanne Dehesus.

I'm going to harass Roxanne. She's out of it. Immediately know. I've seen what I needed to see. Yes. Immediately know. I'll sleep with Barbara. And then I'll marry your mom.

And that's my family. I'll be the witness. Mary. Hey, all it has clearly very clearly been established that my family is married. Marriage material 100% married. Yes, he did. So there's, there's a lot to be said about that.

Lastly, we have. Jenelle Evans. I just gotta rest it, so let's... This is the worst one. This is hard. This is the fucking worst one. I'll probably harass, I don't know who to pick, Janelle or Farah.

I'll go with Janelle. Okay. I'll sleep with Farah and I'll marry Mackenzie. Ew, okay. How else? Ew, I have no idea. How else was he supposed to answer that question? I don't think there was a way,

I don't think there was a good answer. Like, there's no good answer no matter what you did with that one. I love it so much. Okay, so before Javi gets off, and I don't mean like gets off, but like before he gets off this episode. Misses himself?

Before he dismisses himself. I would love to go through the gross and embarrassing stories. What do you react? So... You're not funny. You're not fucking funny at all. No, I'm not.

I'm not ever telling my embarrassing story ever. I will take it to the grave. Go ahead, tell him your embarrassing story about your quiefe. No, that's not it. There's another one. There's an embarrassing story with me and her. It's pretty funny.

It was not funny at all. LA. No, I was mortified. We're gonna... LA. No, I can't. Javi, tell her. I will take it to the grave.

I'll save it for our live podcast when we bring Javi out and we'll tell it and let everyone react in person because they'll probably... That's a good idea. So just know that I'll tell my embarrassing story one day. I'm not assuming I'm gonna be at your live podcast. You will.

You will. If I have to say... You'll literally be there. Kale, I need you to proceed with the Confessions of a Quiefe. Okay, this is a weekly segment where we tell, we'll read nasty stories and react. So open your ears and say goodnight. Confessions of a Quiefe.

Y'all, I just listened to your Christmas podcast episode and about Diet of Laughter. I mortifyingly have a Quiefe story of my own that left me and probably my partner scarred. The message slash story is long. So I'll send it in a two-parter. I was on all fours ass up, giving my partner a blowy and he was awkwardly trying to finger me at the same time.

But because I was ass in the air, he was just pushing a bunch of air in, which I don't think registered. I simply knew it was uncomfortable. So we changed positions and he went down on me and right in his poor face came out a quick but loud Quiefe. Trust me when I say he jumped back like a dog had snapped in his face.

I immediately started nervous laughing and was like, that wasn't a fart. He said, hold on, I lost my, I lost my, that wasn't a fart. He said, okay. And I said, that's why it was so uncomfortable. You were just shoving air in there. And he said, okay, again, tried to do the bypass bench, just tried to bypass foreplay.

And he said, stop talking about it. It's fine, but I couldn't stop laughing. And eventually we gave up. I'm still horrified to this day. And I can't say he's been going down on me. And I can't say he's been going down on me since. So if you guys get an influx of amazing Quiefe stories, first of all, please read them.

They are gold, but also please don't say my name for the obvious shame factor. Has anyone queefed in your presence? I don't think so. But serious question. Do quees have an odor? That's a serious question. You don't know, I don't think so.

Maybe like a, because it's in your vagina. It's not in your, it's not out of your ass. The queef is in your vagina. So if your vagina stinks for the queef. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure of it. Like I'm sure it has like a regular vagina odor, but like I don't think it's like, like a fart stink.

I hate y'all. I literally hate y'all. Javi, no one's ever queefed in your presence because I would have guessed the queef story that Kale has belonged to you. No. No, yeah. I don't think anybody's ever queefed in my presence.

So I would have known if they stink or not. I think Javi is very uncomfortable right now. He's like, I don't know. That's a good question. I hope I never have a story. I hope no one ever queefed in my presence. I don't know how to react. I think you would be immediately turned off.

I probably would. I probably would stop. Well, all activity would stop. What's like the weirdest slash grossest thing that's ever happened? Like while I'm sleeping? Yeah. Have you ever like smelled someone and then left

and been like, no, I can't have sex with you? No. Have you ever, like what is the worst, like the grossest thing? I mean, I don't think there's really a gross. Oh, well, good for you. I'm happy for you. Javi, you've never had a gross situation.

Not that I can think of. I mean, what would be considered, what could be considered gross? Like, did you ever try anal and have someone shit on you when I said that? No, I would be grossed out. But that's disgusting. I've never...

Lindsay's laugh is just cracking me up. I'm trying to think. I haven't really had anything crazy happen besides that one thing. Who said that? Have you ever, like to their ex-husband, have you ever had anal with someone in nature on you?

Well, I was just thinking, like... Like, are you okay? My friend, Toni, told her story, her shit story on the other podcast and how she did anal with her fiancee at the time and she pooped on him. So that's why I was asking. Okay, I have to read, speaking of poop,

this other story. It's a most embarrassing story. This person says they hate pooping at guys' houses. And when she was dating this one guy, she really had to poop. So she went, clogged the toilet, freaked out because he had to come in and fix the toilet. So she scooped the poop into a paper towel

and placed it in the trash. He thought that she had just went pee, but little did he know there was poop in his trash can. First off, I would be absolutely mortified. Like, if I went to someone's house and literally clogged their toilet, I would jump out the bathroom window. First off, let me start with this

because I've been thinking about it. If you're doing some freaky nasty shit with someone you just met or it's the first time you're doing it, that you would have an embarrassing story, you nasty. So that's number one. If it's someone I've been with for a while and something happens,

that's where it doesn't become weird and it's not awkward. Like, hey, it's all right, don't worry about it. You know, we'll do it next time. But if you're doing some nasty shit that happens to you on the first day, you nasty, you need to. Okay, but what would you do if you were with a girl and she put poop in your trash can? What would you do?

She would not come back to my house. First of all, Javi told me this story of this girl that he doesn't even want people, women in his home. What do you mean? The home is my home. Like, home is my sanctuary. He was telling me this story about seeing this girl and he was like, she had to go to the bathroom

and he wouldn't even let her go to the bathroom in there. Uh-uh, Javi. In fact, we drove to the gas station. Wait, you drove to the gas station? You drove this girl to the gas station to take a shit? It's a pee, I don't know what she had to do, but even if it was just pee. He was like, you're not coming inside.

That kind of sounds like something I would do. Yeah, also I was like, wow, that's actually great because I don't really want people that I'm just like seeing or dating casually would not. I wouldn't want them in my house either. So I feel like that's kind of fair, but I guess I was surprised that Javi did it. Like, I was surprised that like a man did it.

Same, actually, and I'm even more surprised that it was specifically Javi. If I was that... Why are you surprised? Like, I just couldn't imagine... Open it, Javi. ...that you're a dude. Like, bachelor pad.

Yeah, like, I feel like Javi's just like a dude, like whatever happens, like just like happens. And if someone shits at his house, like they shit at it. And if they need to like pee really bad, they just like pee at it. Or if they want to eat at his house, like that's what's going on. Oh, I walk in and go right into the fridge.

I'm like, where's the food at? Where's the snacks? That's only because I can't kick her out, but... I mean, you could. I just like, if I had to poop at someone's house, I'll just leave. Like, I will not. I will shit my pants in my own car

before I shit at somebody I'm dating's house. Like, I just won't do it. Or just hold it. No, I literally can't hold it. So I'm going to just leave and shit myself or I'm going home and pooping. Okay, Javi. So last week, we were talking about how Farrah had shit

and jars and then like sold them. What do you mean shit and jars? She would poop and jars and sell it. No. Yeah, she did. And people bought it. I don't believe you. He had the same reaction as me.

He's not faking it up, like she shit in jar or jars and sold it. That's probably why she got arrested. That's why she slapped somebody. No. Farrah got arrested because she slapped a security guard at a restaurant. Why though?

Does anyone not like, not that it justifies it, but like what was Farrah's reasoning? So it says Farrah was taken into police custody over the weekend after allegedly slapping a security guard at a restaurant in a bar in Los Angeles. She was arrested in Hollywood at Grandmaster Recorder Saturday night by the Los Angeles Police Department.

And supposedly they responded to a battery investigation and the security at the location was advised of a possible fight on the rooftop when security attempted to escort the suspect out of the location. She slapped one of the security guards and then security called LAPD and they placed the suspect under arrest for battery.

TMZ reports that a witness claims they saw someone assault the group Farrah was with. And then the reality star got belligerent and there was paramedics called a citizen's arrest was made. For real, a citizen's arrest? A citizen's arrest, like I'm not even making this up. Like Kim will get arrested too

if I was in keeping her on track. What the hell ever? She's quick on the mouth. She would slap the shit out of somebody if she could. And then it says alongside a video of her being restrained on a sidewalk. She wrote on Instagram Sunday, I post this as no woman or man should ever be battered

abused, conspired, gang up on set up, recorded and video sold. I've had a very traumatizing year and I don't deserve to be attacked, bruised, men on me and battered. So she got recorded after she smacked someone and then used the video as. The video was like all over TikTok. That's where I saw it.

Everyone was tagging me in it and I clicked on it and I saw it. But why is she making it about her when she was the one that was the abuser in the situation? I think it's just like, you know, it's kind of like, oh, you do something bad. So you got to like switch it up, you know? Okay.

Like then she made it like she was being attacked and you know, men were beating her and et cetera, which I don't believe in case anybody cares. That's so interesting. I can't speak obviously because I did put my hands on hobby in 2012. So I have been guilty of that. So I won't speak on it,

but it would be weird to then say, like turn around and put the blame on hobby. You know what I mean? Like if that was, you know what I mean? Like I just, as someone in that position, like that's weird for her to have done that. Like take accountability and then move forward. That's all you can do better.

Like take accountability and move better. That's it. 100%. I don't know if Javi wants to participate in this, but he doesn't have to have commentary if he doesn't want to. Teen Mom T was posting a bunch of screenshots pretty much all weekend long

while you guys were playing football. And these were screenshots of Breanna's clickbait. She says that she felt like in the episode of Teen Mom Family Reunion that she felt like your hatred basically stemmed from being the first fifth girl added to Teen Mom 2. And then she starts talking to your ex-husband and then that was just like the icing on the cake.

And she hated you, like you hated her ever since. Do you think that's how it went? Her being the fifth girl on the show, I don't really know what that's talking about. But let me put this out there. We dated for like three months. I pretty much... Y'all got engaged though, so let's hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Because you obviously thought like... Javi, are you okay? Like you felt strongly enough to have gotten a ring for her, so let's not downplay. No matter how long or how short it still happened. You're right. It still happened.

On my end with Jose here as my witness, it was not about the fact that she talked to him and was dating him and then potentially was engaged to him. It was about how they went about it. There was... I was not getting the truth from them or at least not at the same time about what was going on. So that was my issue was like

when Javi's telling me that they're talking, talking and she's trying to downplay it as just friends, I know you're lying. So just be honest about it. This has... And it has not... I don't even care about that anymore because... It's not even relevant.

It's not. And adding her as the fifth girl, like MTV called me to go down there to Orlando to welcome her on the same way that... And I said this last week and I stand by it, the same way that we welcomed Jadon through the podcast. Like MTV called me and was like, go to Orlando, we can welcome them onto the show, whatever.

And I was all for it. Brittany called me herself. So like that all is bullshit. And Brittany and Nova had come to Orlando, to the house that we had for my 23rd birthday. And so I said all of this last week, I stand by what I said. What is your take on it, Jose, Mary Quinn?

Why you guys hate each other? Yeah, like what... From your perspective, what do you think it is? Whatever issues you guys had to start with are not the issues I had. Right, correct. I agree with that. She probably just used me and five years ago

as a way to cover up what's going on now. I agree. So that's, I am irrelevant. Why is she still talking about me or bringing me up? I had nothing, my name's Paul and that's between y'all. You remain Switzerland. I love it. So, obviously last week,

you were talking about like, again, having no issues with her joining the show, which I fully believe. And she said that you felt intimidated by that. Okay. Then, whole fast forward, dating hobby, we've addressed this. Obviously that wasn't as big of an issue

as it has been made out to be either. And then we get into the defamation lawsuit. And I think that Breonna definitely downplays this entire thing. And it's kind of like when we're talking about Jade and her calling Ashley a skinny little bitch, you're in this defamation lawsuit, but then you're out sending somebody a fucking treadmill.

Agreed. You know, so let's make that make sense. So then over the weekend, you go on Instagram and post that the treadmill was not a peace offering, nor was it meant for your dogs. You decided that that's what you were gonna do with it, with the fat shaming gift. I'm not quite sure how Breonna would have assumed

that you would have perceived that her getting you a treadmill would be anything other than a fat shaming gift. I think that she tried to say that it was to keep, since you like to run your mouth, like maybe you could run or something, I forget like exactly what she said. Still the intentions were wrong and it was completely unnecessary and also petty.

And I've not been in a lawsuit, but if I wasn't a lawsuit, I certainly wouldn't be sending the opposing party a fucking gift. Agreed. I love that. Maybe that's it, but like I'm not gonna be sending you a gift. So Breonna goes on Instagram and says,

money can't buy happiness, but learning how to love yourself will get in a better mindset and focus on something else instead of me. So I decided to gift a treadmill. I know that you are fantastic at running your mouth. So I thought your feet would run just as fast. I'm 150 pounds and I love every inch of my body. I don't need to fat shame anyone,

especially knowing I could lose a few pounds myself. The gift was to reroute our focus. You can send it back if you want and I'll go ahead and show you how to start loving yourself. So did the loving herself come before or after the four plastic surgeries? Then it continues. Please do me a solid and stop talking about me.

I haven't said a damn thing since the lawsuit waiting for it to be over to speak my truth. Let me stop you right there. Let me stop you right there. You don't talk about the lawsuit after it happens. Like that's not, you don't, same thing for a settlement. You come to a settlement or the lawsuit finishes, you don't then run your mouth about it.

That's not, it doesn't matter. Civil matters do not, double jeopardy doesn't apply to civil matters. Then you're going to be in another lawsuit. So I'm confused about how you're going to speak about something after you're out of the one lawsuit. You're just going to put yourself in another one. Then she says, and then you went ahead

and talked about me on different podcasts, lied about me doing something with Chris, grow up, stop being weird. I didn't lie. I say you didn't come to family reunion because you didn't want to have drama, but here you are, learn to shut the fuck up. Please stop provoking me and playing the victim,

roll and not tell the whole truth. Well, I sent the crying, laughing face back to her when she tagged me. I did not lie about what I said. I stand by everything I said. I stand by everything that I've done. And it is what it is. How is there so much beef

with people you don't even see? That's a general question. That's just used. I mean, what would you do if you had your brand and your job and then someone accused you of felonies? What would you do that you know you didn't commit? What would you do? You're not going to argue back.

You're just going to go file a lawsuit. So at what point do I get to defend myself in a way that isn't running my mouth? It's like literally and figuratively putting my money where my mouth is. Here, I say my what, I'm not going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a lawsuit defending myself for something that I did.

I didn't do those things, simple as that. So I'm not really sure the tag, I didn't go to Team Mom Family Reunion because I personally didn't feel like it was worth it with or without Brianna. So it wasn't solely based on the fact that there was going to be drama. It was that the pay wasn't there for me.

A lot goes into me traveling for two weeks and to me it just didn't feel like it was worth it. So it was a lot more than just not wanting to be involved with drama. There was a lot more that went into it. And you and I had discussions about this when all of this was going on and you specifically said, I have podcasts that I run on a weekly basis.

How am I going to be able to do everything else that is required of me, but also do this show for minimum pay? And the fact that you've switched your kids on and off every week, any person that has listened to this podcast ever knows that you don't just freely give up time with your kids.

No, I don't. And I also pay for childcare for my younger two. So I'm not going to pay someone, essentially whatever I would have made from that show, it would have been spent in putting my dogs in the kennel and childcare. And furthermore, I did not get the plus one invite. That was when Leah and I had the meeting.

We had talked about this show for a long time. We had the meeting with producers. Then they called me and Leah when we were on vacation in Dominican Republic, they invited us. I'm curious to know, because I had said, I want to remain 100 yards away from Brianna at all times if I'm going to participate,

because at first it was, maybe I would. And they were like, yes, we can make that happen. Like no problem. Based on what I'm seeing now, there's no way they would have done that. And two, I did not get the invite for a plus one. So it's very interesting to me that some people are being told

that everyone was invited, which that's clearly not the case. Because Javi's been a member since season two of Team Mom 2. Joe didn't get invited. I know for a fact, we didn't get invited. So that's a little weird to me. And then, yeah, I mean, after all of a sudden done,

my expenses would have been more than what I got paid for the show. So that's an immediate no. I don't, and I can't say that I would participate if there was a season two. I don't think I would, would you? I would be kind of entertaining if you did it. Like I would actually watch and like,

that would be kind of funny. Yeah, that would be like, I'd be like trying to give you like tips while you're away. All I know is people miss this face on TV. I don't tell you that much. So, but I'm good. Life is good. I stay in my bubble.

Look, I don't got no problems with nobody. I don't got no nothing to talk about. Life is good in my bubble. I love that for you, Javi. I love the energy. I miss hearing about you and Wawa. I miss like, there's just like so many things that I do miss.

I miss hearing about having your CrossFit kill shot truck around town, passing kill. Like there's so many things that I do miss, but also sometimes you just have to protect your peace. And, you know, that's a decision that you made. Then we're fully supportive of this. I love the positivity. Thank you.

Keep the good energy going. Lindsay, are you there? You know what? That is the devil saying, look, y'all we're trying, y'all we're trying to talk in a good knowing. Here you are. Cut the positivity. Lindsay.

That's definitely the devil. As soon as we started talking positivity, they cut her out. Okay, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened with the audio, but they like kicked all of us out. Javi's had to take a phone call, so he's outside the office,

but this episode's been fun. It's been fun. It's been a good time. If you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast, make sure you follow us over there on Instagram. And if you have not subscribed to our show, you can do that on the purple podcast app, Spotify,

or really any other podcast app of your choice. We hope that you guys all have a fantastic week. It's always fun chatting with you and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.