Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 202: Duggar Family Drama, A Truck Full of Monkeys, and Custody Advice

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

On this week's episode of Coffee Convos Kail and Lindsie are discussing a highly requested topic; The Duggar Family. But before they dive into that, they have to catch up on Teen Mom Family Reunion. Lindsie and Kail discuss how they think the show could be improved, and of course recap the drama from the week. Ask and you shall receive, Kail and Lindise talk about the scandals surrounding the Duggar family, specifically with Josh Duggar. Lindsie tells Kail the shocking story behind his sexual assault and child pornography charges, and why he did not face justice sooner. And would you ever expect to come face to face with a truck full of monkeys? One woman experienced just that after witnessing a car accident, and Kail nd Lindsie recap what happened next. And finally, the gals answer a listener question about custody agreements, and give their own advice and opinions about how to approach them. This episode was sponsored by: Calm & Best Fiends Music by Nathaniel Wyvern. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License.

Hey, hey, everyone. Welcome to coffee combos podcast. Hello, and good morning. How are you? I am, I'm awake. I had to come to my office at 7 30 this morning because my the electrician was coming to my offices, their electrician, their electrician. Their electricity is not working. So like even when I change the bulbs on the lighting, it just like doesn't work. So I had an electrician come and he said that the fluorescent like lighting panels or whatever. They're like just old and not working. So I went. Hello, and I got new stuff and I got coffee and then just went to the new house. So just like running errands this morning. How about you? Well, must be something in the air because my electrician is also at my house hanging fans and everything all my lighting finally got here which took forever like we're talking. This was ordered in June and finally my last fixture came. So that's exciting. So that'll be all finished at the end of today and I've been to the gym also had therapy and am a crying mess. My voice and then also today is a two day or two Alani drink day. So I'm on my second Alani and everything's going to be just fine. I also love Alani and I have all their products. I even literally got a mini fridge. I wish this was an ad. I wish this was a paid ad, but it's not. I got a mini fridge specifically for all the stuff that they send me so I can keep it in my office at home like my home office.

And when I went to the house yesterday the new house to like move stuff in. I had a package. This is also not a paid ad which I wish it was Logan Paul has a new drink called prime him and KSI have it, and they sent it to my new house one I don't know how they got the address or whoever did it for them I don't know how they got the address but I like asked my management and they were like no it wasn't us. But whatever I tagged them. And honestly the tropical punch or the fruit punch whatever the red one is is actually really good it's coconut water with only two grams of sugar. Well I was excited because since I've been in just like a sad mood. The most pretty PR package came from Alani that is the drop the Addison Ray did with them and I can't wait to try the flavor so I'm oh my god when I saw that Addison Ray was doing that campaign or like that collab. I died because I just think Addison Ray is so cute like I'm just like she deserves all of the collapse that she like it looks so fucking cute that I was like I love it so much so I hope I hope I get that one too. I feel like her and Courtney Kardashian had a falling out because it was like they were all over each other stuff and now it's like non existent. So I heard now I don't know how true this is but I heard that it was because something along the lines of in an interview they asked do they judge Addison Ray think that Scott is Courtney soulmate or something along those lines. And then Addison said something along the lines of like no you need to ask them or no I'm not getting involved something along those lines.

Where she like gave an answer and then said you need to like I'm not going to get involved or whatever and I guess that was like not okay. Oh so should she have had an answer with that I've been okay. I think she wasn't supposed to answer like she wouldn't say yes or no. She was supposed to like she was supposed to control the media and she was not supposed to answer at all. Well that's why I kind of take it with a grain of salt because I can't I can't honestly believe everything that goes on in the media and I just don't know if that's that would be like enough to make them have a falling out like I feel like that would be weird. I feel like it was something else and it just like unsaid so you know here we are trying to figure out Addison Ray and Courtney Kardashian on this beautiful Wednesday. By the way, the text that you sent me last night. Which one. To define which text this was. Um, it was the text that you sent and said, Lindsay, I cannot keep trying to watch this show.

I said, I hate it laughing my ass off. I wasn't really laughing I was really pissed off that I thought that recapping the show was going to be a good idea like I guess I just thought, and I'm really really and that's the thing is like I'm caught between wanting to like troll and be funny. And also, I don't want to be a hater either like I genuinely wanted to recap and like not be a hater but it's so interesting for me to be on this show, like I'm not on team on family reunion but I'm on team mom, and to be on the other side of it is so interesting because I know how the shit works. And so it's very interesting to be on this side of it and I truly am not saying this to be a see you next Tuesday like I'm genuinely like I'm bored out of my fucking mind. And I think that girls night in which follows team mom family reunion is honestly more entertaining than anything on team mom family reunion. So, to your point when we were texting last night. I had said that there's like, not enough going on this type of show. And, and mainly because you guys are a docu series. So team mom is following so much of like the nitty gritty that's going on in your life that there's nothing left for this type of show platform that anyone would be interested in to

get invested in something like this and I do think that it could have been a lot more fun if they would have hand selected team mom girls and team mom dads to go on a show like this with cast from other shows like There's your ridiculousness for a band of shore. Yeah. CS to key like if it would have been like that. I think we're talking a totally different ballgame, but with the team mom cast there's just like not enough going on for me to get any more invested. Most that was going on on this episode was Amber's son poisoning and which was like minimal scenes in the show but like honestly that was like the most interesting part. Ashley and Jade starting the episode off like collectively twerking. Another thing that I really don't like is they have so little to run with on this show that they have to drag out the storyline from one episode to the next show that it's like this build up of like the main storyline and then it doesn't happen until the next episode, which I hate. Oh, I like took notes during this episode and I want to just touch on a few things. At the end of episode two they squash the beef or whatever now episode three everyone's getting along. A little birdie did talk to me last week and told me that an episode to a lot of those scenes were actually reversed. And this little bird also told me that Cheyenne actually had her baby there.

And Caitlin was not allowed to come and bring her baby. So I thought that was interesting. Oh, wow. Um, the never have I ever seen was super boring and dry like I just felt like it was very just like cliche and kind of like whatever. And then the devoid comes he was already I know for a fact because he was texting me. He was already there for like days and days and then he only went into the house or the hotel or whatever they were at for like a day. So, when Brianna calls him to like in quote I haven't seen me but invite him he was already going. And let's not forget the entire young and pregnant cast was also there and also didn't end up coming so they literally were held in a hotel for the week or whatever however much time, and they never ended up showing up. And I just feel like as much as I hate to say that I don't even, it's not even I hate to say I don't give a fuck to say it. Brianna at this point has carried the entire show. Sure. And I will say, um, what they were talking about with finding out that they had different. That was on another show. They already did that on another show.

I had no idea because I am just watching this this is not a typical show that I would watch period because we all know that I don't really watch TV but this is like first news to me. And then they get into the reasoning of like why Brianna's mom did not tell them and how she didn't do it for protection purposes. I don't agree with that I don't give I don't care. I, if Brittany's dad passed away which I remember hearing about this when they did family therapy kind of like marriage boot camp. Yeah, they did a show like that. Don't quote me on this when I'm pretty sure it was on VH one, it might have been we TV I'm not entirely sure but it was like essentially a show just like this but it was kind of like marriage boot camp. That's where they found out that was like maybe five six years ago where they found out that they had different dads. Listening back to that on the show last night you can't look me if one of my kids dads died. I'm not going to hide that from my child like I can't see how that would be protecting anyone. And I mean, I don't agree with it either but everyone has their own reasonings for doing things whatever Roxanne's reasoning may be. But I'm kind of with you here I think the potential for her is far greater with carrying on a secret and a lie than it is to just be forthcoming from the jump.

And it's just really sad I can't imagine as a woman her age and you know let's say this happened six years ago and this was revealed. That would send you through some type of identity crisis to know where you came from and then you're questioning everything from your entire life. Yeah. So for someone who came at me before for like my, my parent parental situation with my mom and dad. She should probably take a they should probably take a long hard look in the mirror and really, I mean Roxanne, Bri, all of them should watch what they say about other people's situations. Devoyne also says that he's going to propose to Jasmine which we both you and I both met Jasmine in Atlanta and I loved her I thought she was really sweet and she's so pretty. So I was excited to hear that Devoyne was going to propose to her but I really hope that he proposed to her before this aired. I also hope that, and I think he would have enough sense to like know that this was going to air and even if he didn't have plans to do that, prior to this airing.

I hope that he like made plans to do that. I'll be interested to find out just back on Amber's sun poisoning. I just wanted to say I think MTV really missed the boat on not giving people notice that this was our notice that we need to wear sunscreen and take care of our skin. That's something that I feel like they, they should have talked about. And then I was really annoyed by all the girls who like didn't already have their support person there, how they kind of like followed Brittany and then Leah, I mean, what Brianna and Leah with these conversations of inviting them there because it seemed very staged. Yeah, 100%. All right, you guys, I've talked about calm before and we all know that a lot of emotions can surface during difficult times, even after the holidays that little bit of like seasonal just like fog down a little bit because the holidays are over. I want to tell you guys about how you guys can feel better during the day you want to take a break with calm.

I've talked about this on the podcast so many times. Lincoln listens, Lux listens. I love it. Isaac loves it. And for this ad break, I want you guys to just survey your thoughts, figure out what you're holding on to think about what is really bothering you. Let go of your to do list and pending projects and just focus on your breathing focus on your breath. We all need a few moments in the day to do what we can to just put our mind back on track and the calm app can help. So we're partnering with calm, which is the number one mental wellness app to give you the tools to improve the way that you feel.

Clear your head with guided daily meditations. That's what Isaac and I use and we absolutely love them. You can improve your focus with coms curated music tracks and you can drift off to dreamland with coms imaginative sleep stories for children and adults. I do listen to the children's one with Lux because sometimes, you know, after Lux gets out of school or whatever, he might have a really late nap and then have a hard time falling asleep at night. So this has helped wonders getting him to sleep and their fun stories. So your kids are going to love it too. If you go to calm.com slash combos, you'll get a limited time offer of 40% off the calm premium subscription, which includes hundreds of hours of programming and new content is added every week. Over 100 million people around the world use calm to take care of their minds.

They sleep more stress less live better with calm. For our listeners of the show comes offering a special limited time promotion of 40% off of the calm premium subscription at calm.com slash combos. Go to calm.com slash combos for 40% off unlimited access to coms entire library. That's calm.com slash combos. I thought something that Leah said was very relatable. She talked about how she questions how people are and, you know, her trust issues and how it stems from childhood and her dad being absent. I don't know I was kind of annoyed by that like I don't want to be a troll but like I was kind of annoyed that she related it back to her childhood because I fought with Dr. Drew before about that. Why does her not trusting people have to do with her daddy issues like I just don't.

I don't know if I believe that because she was married like twice like I just don't know. How many times are we going to relate it back to childhood can't we just relate it to like our decision making now like. Yeah, it may affect us but we still need to do better in like trusting people and trusting our judgment and things like that right like. I think it's like a collective thing now I think that you know a lot of stuff comes from life experience but then there are childhood traumas that cause us to make decisions that we make in our life as adults and so. I can say confidently a lack of a relationship with my mom through years from like when I started my period until I was in college. Definitely has impacted me at ways and made me make decisions and question. Who I am and my value up because I didn't have that and so I think that even though that should not be a crutch that you fall back on and blame. All of the bad things that you do and bad decisions that you make, I still think that it has an impact whether you consciously or subconsciously.

Are dealing with it. So I think maybe what annoyed me about it is that like. I also have mommy and daddy issues and despite having a dad that's not in the picture at all. I have more mommy issues and daddy issues, but my trust issues now and my trauma now as an adult as an almost 30 year old woman comes from my relationship with Chris. It doesn't come from my childhood it doesn't come because I don't trust men and myself in relationships at this point because of Chris not because of my parents. So I guess I was putting too much of my own experience on to her so I guess I could see what you're saying about this so. I'm being scared of commitment because if you really think back for people who have strange relationships with either parent mom or dad. And the commitment wasn't there from your parent as a child I do think that that boils over into your adult life because it's like okay well my parents weren't committed to me so. How do I commit myself to someone else you know like right I didn't learn the level of commitment so what does commitment actually look like you know that's something that a lot of people.

That's why I believe truly that divorce if you come from parents who are divorced you probably not going to say you probably will get divorced you either go one of two ways you either go into a marriage thinking okay well if it doesn't work out divorce is an option or you go into a marriage that no matter how toxic it gets or how hard it gets you stay in it because of your past experience. I do think that a lot of it has to do with childhood I really do. I just want to mention that watching these people wakeboard was actually kind of entertaining many shit except for Zach he was the only guy that like stood up on the frickin wakeboard that's something that I would do just not with the teen mom cast like I would never. No, that's a no but Zach did it Leah stood up and I don't know if Jade and Brianna did they might have. That was like looked like fun. I wrote down in here that the shit is stale. There's not enough going on for this to be a spin off which is what you said. How do we feel about Leah talking to Jaylin this is the first time that we're introducing Leah's boyfriend and it's on another show other than like actual mom to so I mean don't want to have a huge opinion about it but I will say that I think anyone that has ever been on reality TV or has any type of following on social media whatever you have to be very careful with intentions and I don't feel like Leah having her guard up in the initial phases or in the initial scenes that we see on the show is wrong and this guy is younger and he has no kids so automatically my guard would be up. Because you know you're taking on a mom that has this huge following who's on a TV show actively who also has multiple children with multiple dads that seems like a lot for a guy who does not have any children and who is younger to take on in my opinion.

Was there anything else that you felt was worthy of conversation. No, literally no there's this show is so fucking stale like there's just overall I want to end the recap there because it's so stale I need them to do better I need them to hand select people from next time like maybe for next season. They need to hand select certain people and that's it it doesn't need to be everybody from the team on cast I think they need to include, you know, people from ridiculousness floorbam ashore Jersey shore. So, even love and hip hop like do some love and hip hop people like I do some cast members from there like I just feel like just having a team either you're right there's not enough here for there to be. There's too much overlap compared to team mom, and I just need it to be more I need it to be more fun and dramatic so yeah, we'll leave it at that. I do want to say before we completely move on that I was cracking up at some of my DMS people sending me that Corey definitely goes to the family reunion. He definitely does he's definitely in previews pretty sure he shows up next week and so I am going to on air apologize to hobby for acting like I knew what the fuck I was talking about when I absolutely did not. Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate that he'll definitely appreciate your apology. Are you guys we're going to take a quick break to talk about one of our partners best fiends I've talked about them before and I am absolutely obsessed if you guys have not played best fiends it's so much fun.

At the post office in line at the DMV there are so many different places that I have played them laying on the couch on the weekend, you name it I think I'm on level like 2000 something and the characters are absolutely so precious. And for those of you who have not played best fiends is a mobile puzzle game that anyone can download and play. So whether you have a few minutes or a few hours best fiends is the perfect puzzle game to lose yourself in because you're just having so much fun. The game features a ton of cute characters and they help you solve thousands of fun puzzles and the more you play the more characters you collect which is really fun. And the more you win the more challenges you face new characters and challenging puzzles are added all the time and there's tons of fun events that you can win huge rewards in the game. And I actually started playing a couple of years ago over Halloween randomly and just got so invested and they have thousands of levels you can literally play as long as you want and you never get bored. Just trust me on that. So if you guys are interested you can download best fiends free today on the App Store or Google Play that's friends without the R best fiends. So here we are. Something that we have been kind of teasing that we were going to cover but then like life keeps happening and then it just like keeps getting pushed to the next week is the Duggers and more specifically Josh Duggar.

And I don't know how much you know. I know nothing other than he's a criminal. That's like literally all I know. Okay, so I know a lot of people get super invested in the Duggar tea and I am more newly one of those people. There's just a lot to unpack here and I feel like for those who are listening who don't know who the Duggers are like, you're probably under a rock if that's the case but 19 kids and counting it was formerly 17 kids and counting and I guess they just kept fucking having kids. And it was a reality TV show that was on TLC. I believe it was like seven years and then it was canceled in 2015. And the show featured the parents and then their 19 children. They have nine daughters, 10 sons, and all of those names begin with Jay.

So the show basically is just like a reality show and it just focuses on their life as a family. They're devout Baptist. They frequently discuss on their values of purity like modesty, faith in God. They talk freely about how they avoid birth control. I mean, evidently. And they had made statements about how they allowed God to determine the number of children they have which I feel like is very, very common in specifically like the Baptist community. And the children are all homeschooled. So they have like very limited access to entertainment, TV is limited. And the show, it's very interesting if you have not watched it. Have you ever watched an episode kill? I have. I never got super invested just because it's just like not my style but I remember when it was 17 kids and I remember like all the Jay names and all of that and I remember when this stuff first came out and then it kind of disappeared for a while like all the drama. Yeah, I didn't know they were still filming it.

So in 2015, TLC suspended the series when their oldest son Josh publicly apologized for having acted inexcusably following reports that he had molested five girls. Five girls being his sisters or five girls just in general. Five girls including some of his sisters. So the events allegedly occurred in 2002 and 2003 when he was like 14 or 15 years old and TLC announced like they suspended the show in May of 2015. And then they officially announced in July of 2015 that the show was officially canceled and would not resume production. And at that point then a spinoff show counting on aired as early as December of 2015 and then it was canceled in 2021. Again, due to Josh Duggers previous behavior because he was arrested for child pornography. It's a lot. It's a lot. And May 2015 in touch revealed that Josh had allegedly molested five young girls including four of his sisters while he was a teenager. And they had obtained a police report that had been hidden since 2006 through a Freedom of Information Act requests. This is just to me, so crazy and I don't want to get like backlash for this but the Duggers seem like a cult in themselves.

Yeah, I also would say so. And I just, I don't understand like with the amount of like, I think at one point they had like 2.3 million viewers on their show. Are you kidding. Which is crazy right so. Are all of the Duggar children still part of that. I don't want to call it a cult but it's kind of a cult that religion. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that some of them like leave that belief group. I don't, I don't want to speak out of turn because I don't know much about like the sisters because I've really followed like most of this Josh stuff. But I think one of the sisters is like kind of not in the fold with the rest of them.

Okay, okay, okay. Um, and I, to me, okay you know that your sons doing this you have this TV show, you have had this police report hidden. We've both been on TV shows and I feel like if you want to investigate someone enough and find stuff, you'll find it like how was this hidden. I don't know. And did the parents know about it. They were interviewed by police on this in December of 2006, and they refuse to allow the police to interview Josh when police open the felony investigation. So, I feel like the parents definitely were trying I don't know if it was like a form of protection or if it was a form of they were just trying to turn a blind eye if like it was like a state of denial but the dad's names Jim Bob and he was alerted in March of 2002 by a female minor that Josh had been touching her breast and Jenna told while she slept. That's not okay. That is so disturbing. And that it happened on multiple occasions. And then Jim Bob said in July of 2002 Josh admitted to fondling a minor's breast while she slept so

supposedly Jim Bob and the mom had disciplined him after this incident but they did not alert authorities. I don't want to get your child in trouble but at some point you have to decide whether you're going to protect the one that is getting hurt and traumatized over the one who is making really sick and sad and horrible decisions like I'm going to I would rather. In my situation if I'm thinking of my own kids I'm thinking okay I need to protect the one that is hurting and the one that is doing the damage means to be reprimanded. I mean that's the bottom line I'm not protecting the one that's doing the damage. Well so here's my thoughts on it. I want to protect the child or the individual whether it be your child or not who has already been harmed. Correct. So knowing that your child has this potential you're doing a disservice to other individuals out here that could become victims because you're not doing anything to get this child help. Right. And then like nine months later, this is like March 2003.

There was another incident, and Josh was accused by a female minor of touching her breast and genitals and then accused by several minors for touching their genitals often while sleeping, but at times while awake. And then Jim Bob says that he met with elders of his church told them what was going on and they decided to send Josh to a program that consisted of hard physical work and counseling. And he was in this program from March until July of 2003 but still no one alerted police or any other law enforcement agency. How, how, how, how, like I have no words for this. So then the mom Michelle was interviewed she told police that Josh did not get counseling did not get counseling and had been sent during a time to a family friend. And their home remodeling business and when she was asked about their training center Jim Bob said that Josh was sent to. And she said it was not really a training center and when asked if the guy Josh talked to was a certified counselor she said no. It was a guy that the family knew was remodeling and building and when I don't know I want to stop you right there I don't understand I do not understand like how is one how was she sleeping at night.

They did not go above and beyond to help get their child actual help, and then to go on the record and an interview and admit these things like you're a shitty person. Yeah, I mean it's all, it's all crazy and it keeps going back to like the parents almost act like this is a situation. Like, you push somebody down the playground or something you know like the parents tell the police that he is apologized to these females and that they had forgiven him like that to me is not sufficient. Not sufficient at all I don't know how anyone would be okay with that and a lot like nothing gets done. So how do you look like a shitty person a shitty fucking parent your kid is doing all kinds of damage and trauma to your other child and you think that you can just go about your day and do very fucking the bare minimum. Yeah, so then after this, he supposedly sought after God and had turned back to God. No, but no, that's not enough for me that's not good enough. Jim Bob tells the police that several members of their church were aware of the situation and had been supportive of the family so this is where I want to get into the cult conversation because I feel like this must have been. And this is completely just like my thoughts but this must have been common practice or there must have been more of this going on that was aware within this like community of people, because you're going to tell me that several people know about these events that are going on and no one

contacted law enforcement about it like no one reported this. Nothing. That's not okay. And they're just being supportive of the family like I understand that when one person does something wrong that you shouldn't lose all form of support from your church family but also it's negligent for no one to be man or woman enough to speak up and say hey like, I'm going to support you through this and I sympathize with you but also if you don't go to the police and get him help. I'm going to go to police and get him help because he needs to be put somewhere. Either some type of facility that he can get the proper care that needs to be had or he needs to go to jail. I definitely think that for something like that jails not necessarily going to fix the problem I definitely think that there needs to be jail time in addition to counseling but people also have to want the help he would have to know that it was wrong, and he would actually feel remorse and have to want to change his behavior. It sounds like he's had a bunch of enabling. And why would he want to change his behavior if he feels like he's only getting a slap on the wrist.

It goes back to the conversation that you and I have had before about the system being broken and how putting someone in jail for certain crimes is not a solution because it's like a time out a slap on the wrist. I think the work that needs to be done is not being provided and so do I think that jail could have been a remedy to get him away so that he's not continuing to do these acts to other potential victims. In the meantime, yes, but do I think that that's a fix for the mental things that are going on that's causing him to act impulsively this way. No. So gets more interesting. Jim Bob told police that Josh returned home in 2003, and he and some church elders took Josh to talk to a friend Jim Hutchins. Jim Hutchins was an Arkansas state trooper and did not take any official action and then instead gave Josh just like a very stern talk. And he is now serving 56 years in prison for child pornography. Good. That's what he means because at this point, I mean, no, this is the law enforcement officer like the the state. Oh, what the fuck. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So the police investigation was opened only because a family friend aware of what had happened had written down in a letter what he knew of Josh's actions and the letter was placed in a book, and had been forgotten So in 2006, the book was loaned to someone who then discovered the letter. And then when the Duggar family was set to appear on Oprah's talk show in 2006, an email was sent to the show warning them of the alleged molestation.

And it was written by a 61 year old female who was not identified. They canceled the interview facts, the letter to the Department of Human Services hotline, and the writer of the letter was not identified by the Duggar family. And police had to abandon pursuing charges because then there was a three year statute of limitations had expired. What? Yes. And I'm going to end the conversation there on providing any more details until next week. However, however, Statue of limitations on crimes like this to me is bullshit. I don't think there should ever be a statute of limitations on something like this. And I would love I would just love to know anyone who is listening who is also like equally invested in this Duggar drama, sick bullshit. Because I regularly like look at articles of things that are going on and it's very prevalent like still in the media today of things going on because there's active things going on within, you know, within the court and trial and that kind of stuff.

But I would just love to know people's thoughts and also if you think there should be a statute of limitations on crimes like this because to me, the government shouldn't be able to set a time frame on when a victim can come forward and when someone can be punished for doing something that is illegal to another human being that harms them in this way. But if I'm not mistaking, I mean, I don't know if it's different for like sexual assault and totally just going off my head here like I don't quote me on any of this stuff but like wasn't Bill Cosby stuff like years and years and years prior. I want to say and anyone who is listening I'm sure you guys will correct me if I'm wrong, but it might be based off of, like, once the victim acknowledges, then that's the point that this, the statute of limitations begins. Okay, so question time out. Yeah, I talk about a rape in my pride over pity book. Yeah. There's a, I'm, there would be a statute of limitations then correct. Yes.

So I would say that if it ever, if it ever happened again, I would move forward with doing something but okay so I acknowledged it at that time so then moving forward there's a statute of limitations so okay. I believe that that is how it works. How interesting. Yeah. But give us all your thoughts and lighter news. Well, I saw this come up on the news when I was biking this morning and I was like holy shit. So I then go to Google and find this Daily Mail article it says driver who stopped to help when truck carrying 100 lab monkeys crash in Pennsylvania and put her hand. And put her hand in one of the cages and says she now has a cough and pink eye after one of these monkeys pissed in her face.

A monkey. Yeah, like 100 monkeys they were like, first of all, where who is carting. First of all, monkeys don't belong in trucks. So that's lab monkeys monkeys don't belong in labs. So apparently monkeys do not belong in labs I'm already just pissed off that there's monkeys and labs that's number one I don't give a fuck what the experiment is they don't belong in labs like, you know, let's not don't even get me started. Secondly, why are you if you're helping why are you sticking your hand in a monkey's cage like they literally could have broken bones or ripped your fucking hand off. I mean have you not seen. I've never heard of this in my entire like monkeys in labs monkeys in trucks monkeys in caged trucks. Yeah, so apparently she got out I'm doing apparently she got out to help the driver. No animals in their cages she initially thought that they were cats, but then when she approached and put her hand on the cage, she says that the monkey his to her.

I don't know how this lady got got pink eye that I don't know. I have pictures of literally the this monkey, or one of these monkeys like out on the side of the highway. And she says, in here, a truck hauling 100 maca K maca K m a c a q e monkeys from Africa, Africa was headed to a lab in Missouri when it collided with the dump truck Friday on group 54 and interstate 80 in Valley township. I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off. All condolences to the woman. But I'm more so pissed off that they're carting monkeys from Africa to here to go to a lab that's what I'm pissed off about. Like it's not okay I'm gonna actually link this article on the Instagram this week so you guys can like read fully about what was going on but the monkeys were not quarantined and monitored and the CDC told the woman she needed to take precautions because she was in close contact. According to the CDC the species commonly spreads her fees virus be through saliva feces and urine, and she says that she was very, very close to the monkeys, she touched the crates and also walked through their shit. Also supposedly three of the monkeys that escaped or escaped.

Yeah, three of them are now dead because they were euthanized. I'm not okay with this and also if they're from Africa then likely they would not have even survived the conditions here in the wild like it's fucking cold as fuck all over the United States, especially at night. Who knows if they would have survived those conditions anyway but why were they euthanized why wouldn't they just be fucking captured. Yeah, like so supposedly PETA told residents after the crash that there's no way to ensure that monkeys are virus free and record showed that the monkeys and laboratories in the US have been found with tuberculosis. Some other types type of disease MRSA must be like MRSA. I just, I can't. This is so problematic and troublesome, and I just have so. I'm also just concerned about the woman. Me too.

She says that she had an open cut on her hand. I know. Why are we touching animals, strange animals that we've, I just, I can't. But here like anyone has been like driving down the road and seen a wreck happen and like want to help someone like this happened to me not too long ago it wasn't a wreck but and I might still have the picture on my phone but Jackson and I were driving down the road from play therapy and see this man broke down on the side of the road and all of a sudden his truck burst into flames and like I stopped because one I didn't want to pass because I was afraid like what if I pass and it catches my car on fire. But then also, I was like I probably need to help this man so I'm thinking, maybe like this woman's natural instinct was to help. That's what it says, like, these were cats in a cage and she's not thinking about having an open cut on her hand when she goes to like try to help. So she says, quote, I thought I was just doing the right thing by helping I have no I had no idea it would turn out this way.

So he just asked if his trailer was okay he never said if you do come near a crate do not touch it if he would have told me that I would have been more careful. I'm not, even if I were to pull over to help. I'm not going to touch the things and see monkeys and what like that's just like not. I'm not going to be a victim shame like that I'm going to go to hell for this but also it's just like I'm irritated by the whole situation so it's hard to say what I would have done or what she should have done. The whole thing is just like not okay. We'll link it on the Instagram this week for you guys to be able to follow everything that's going on and to be able to read more. And then to a listener question really quick. And I think this is a really interesting one and I have a big opinion about it. It says, can you all please discuss the custody agreements and what should be in them from your experience I'm going through it and have no idea what I'm doing. Also gone through it and and continuing to go through it also have no idea what I'm doing.

I would say my stuff is has changed a couple of times before finalization and I also think it's like ever changing because the more you know the more you try to I don't want to say like negotiate but like the more you become aware of when dealing with the situation like you don't know someone until you have to co parent with them right like you don't know what they're going to do when you're no longer with that person and so things that they maybe would have done when you were together look very different when you're not and so I don't want to be going into an agreement on my direct advice would be to take all emotions out of it and to only look at it as a business transaction as bad as that sounds because basically that's the way in my opinion you have to look at it. You have to look at your emotions are sharing a child and your emotions, you shouldn't be making decisions based off of emotion in my opinion. I also feel like filing for custody or child support all of those things like specifically custody. And so I think that's a good and probably. If you if you can try to actually wait a little while because once your actual emotions are removed from it. You, you see clearer what the with the bigger picture is. The custody orders with Joe. I mean we went to court so many times to change it so many times till we got it right and.

And then once I finally got that final 5050 order I replicated it with the other two dads I mean I know Lux and Creed don't go 5050 but other parts of it were replicated for their custody order. So if you guys don't end up following the order and you come up with something different that is okay but then if you guys are arguing about it then you can say oh you know what this this is not working to trying to come up with a plan outside of the order let's just do default back to the order. First right to refusal I have. I have mixed feelings on this because first right to refusal in my opinion. I don't know if it's right to first refusal or first right of refusal. Anyway, I'll have it so. With that with two of the dads I do not have it with hobby. Now, I personally do not agree with Joe's outlook on it. Joe basically put it in there saying that in his opinion.

First right to refusal would be like I'm not allowed to ask Natalie to stay with Isaac before I asked Joe but Joe is allowed to ask his mom or his brother of blood family member before he can ask me which I don't agree with I think if you're having first right to first right to refusal it goes across the board. I deserve to be asked if I can take him before his mom or his brother does that make sense. Yes, because I don't have the option to offer my child to a blood family relative before him that's not that's not the way it should work and we've gotten into several arguments about it or not arguments but disagreements about it because I'll find out that you know he left Isaac with Janet or with V and not with me and I'm like that's not how right to first refusal works. On that note, on that note, I want to say that my strong advice is to try to make the custody order when you do do it and you do finalize it to be very clear and not ambiguous because to Kale's point, people will read things the way they want to read them and not the way it is intended and they know that it's not intended that way but they still choose it to read it. However, they, they deem it to be and so to just be very clear. However, mine is if you are going to be gone for more than four hours and your parenting time, then you have to offer to the other parent, but like mine is 24 hours if I'm going out of town or going to be away for more than 24 hours, I am required to all to offer the dads and I because I have it for two of the dads I do end up doing that for hobby as well even though it's not in hobbies my order with hobby.

So four hours seems extreme but the way I look at it is I'm already losing time so if you're doing something that's going to require you more than four hours of time and I'm available, you need to ask me first and if I am not available then sure like your parents can take Jackson, whatever but you need to ask me first to make sure that I'm not available because that's time that I could get back if you're not exercising that time. Correct, I agree with that. But, you know, if I've also not going to be a stingy little bitch and be like, Oh, well, you know, if it's a let's say it's like a Saturday or a Sunday or like will was traveling for work and not going to be home until Friday night and we're looking at like a six hour window. And he was going to be spending the weekend with his parents. Of course, I'm not going to step in and be like, Oh, well your parents can't have Jackson for that six hours because I'm just stingy little bitch like no, like, no, but I do like it to be in there because he has to ask me first and it gives me the right as a mom to say, Okay, you know, no, I'm going to be reasonable here or no, you know, we live five miles from each other it doesn't make sense for your parents to make a special trip for them to come and watch Jackson when I'm right here and you're only going to be gone for like four hours. Right, right, right, right, totally. Now I will say that it does get a little tricky for custody orders when a parent lives farther so I can't really speak too much on my current custody order with Chris just because that was also ordered was to not talk about it but I will say this much.

He lives an hour from me, and the clause that I am required to do first right to refusal for him doesn't necessarily make sense because Lux is in full time preschool he goes from nine to three. And I do have to do a lot of work trips but he's also about to start kindergarten. So I don't know how one would offer. If I have a work trip, and I have them 95% of the time, how I would offer first right to refusal, or write a first refusal. I don't know how I would offer write a first refusal to him when they when the kids are in kindergarten because he will not physically be able to drive them to school and get them to their functions. If I'm out of town, and they are in school. Agreed. Yeah, that's not realistic and that's the judge specifically said like, it's not ideal for him to have 5050 right now because he's an hour away so that is putting I mean if he has extracurricular activities and him going to date preschool, Lux going not Lux Creed going to play care for him is like it's just not realistic and so like I don't know how write a first refusal. So it really, you got to think about it you really need to take some time to come up with something and like maybe getting a mediator to help come up with solutions, and then not necessarily filing and finalizing the first thing that you come up with because it is trial and error for whatever works for you. I agree. I'm going to agree with that. We only have time for one foul play this week because you know, carpool is waiting on me.

Sorry. But we're going to go with the first one. Okay. In my office bathroom, someone keeps rubbing their boogers on the wall. We even addressed it at a meeting. Boogers have not stopped. I work with all adults, 25 and older. I'm disgusted. I don't see this on our sheet that we have. So I don't know what's going on but I'm absolutely disgusted and I also need to tell you a story about boogers.

Okay, tell me. Lincoln gets nosebleeds all the time. Like it's just he just does and so does Javi like literally out of nowhere like he doesn't even have to be digging in his nose and he will get a nosebleed. So when I seen bloody boogers on my bed on the side of my bed. I immediately knew it was Lincoln. Okay, like I immediately was like what the fuck. I didn't know it was bloody boogers at first but I saw a swipe of blood. And I knew it was Lincoln and I said Lincoln did you have a nosebleed he said no I said Lincoln. Did you pick your nose and did it bleed. And he said yes. And I said look at the side of my bed and tell me that's not your fucking bloody boogers and he was like it is but there was a scab in there so I don't know if it's a scab or if it's bloody boogers and I said, if you don't clean that up right now. Like I am.

I boogers gross me out like I cannot do boogers at all. And I'm disgusted that 25 year olds are still doing boogers like I can't. And I'm like, my first thoughts of this entire scenario I'm like okay we're all adults here like anybody fucking listening to this is all adults here. And toilet paper in the bathroom like you could literally wipe your boogers on a napkin and flush it. And also outside of that like don't you know etiquette like blow your nose in a fucking shower and pick your boogers in there. And then you don't have any left like in the tank so that you need to be wiping boogers. I couldn't find it. Wall at your work. I couldn't find that on our list and I just need to like they addressed it and the boogers are still continuing. The fact that there had to be a conversation at an adult meeting about boogers being smeared on the wall makes me disgusted like you are foul whoever is doing this and if you hear this and you are the booger wiper. Get a tissue.

I'm disgusted. I don't know who the, I can't. We're going to end on that note. I hope you all enjoyed this episode. I hope that you all enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed contributing to this bullshit. I'm going to go and sit in carpool and act like I had none of these conversations. Smile nicely at all the moms that are seeing me and I hope that you guys follow us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram and I hope that you guys are subscribed to all of our bullshit. Whether you are expecting it or not, make sure you're subscribed so that you get the notification purple podcast app for iTunes, Spotify or really any fucking else place. So hope you'll have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.