Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 3: Kail & Javi Arguing, Teen Mom Drama, & Asking For Help

Episode Date: December 15, 2018

Lindsie talks about fighting w/ Will about working out & what her plans are to change things. They talk about how school closings were different when they were kids. Kail is upset w/ Javi over Elf On The Shelf. Kail talks about frustration w/ filming, MTV, & why she relates to Bristol Palin. Kail wants the full story on TV not just certain parts. They discuss a MIL being a surrogate & their thoughts on it. They talk about it being hard being human & why it's ok to ask for help. They talk about a substitute teacher telling first graders that Santa wasn't real.

Lola is a female company offering a line of organic cotton tampons, pads, liners and all natural cleansing wipes. For 40% off of all prescriptions, visit mylola.com and enter coffee when you subscribe. Good morning, guys. Welcome to this bonus episode release of Coffee Combo's podcast. How are you, Lindsay? I am good this morning. How are you? I went to Chick-fil-A this morning and ordered two breakfasts just for myself. Two? Yep, because I was hungry. The other day you were like, a bitch is hungry. A bitch is hungry. What did you get? I went to, I went, first I went to Wawa and got my coffee and I was a little annoyed because they ran out of hazelnut and I love hazelnut coffee. So I ended up getting French vanilla and I was a little bummed but then I went over

and that was a 20 ounce and then I went over to Chick-fil-A which is directly across the street and I ordered two chicken mini meals. So with honey and they were so good. I actually only ate one box but I ate both hash browns. Oh my gosh, I love the hash rounds. They're so crispy and gosh, I just love them. You know a super trick of the hash browns? What? So like if you're going to eat your chicken minis first then you open your hash browns so that they don't get like soggy because the steam when they put them in there they're so hot that if you leave the lid down it'll get soggy so they'll stay crispy if you put the lid up. Oh that makes sense. I love Dunkin Donuts hash browns. I don't think I've ever had that. Oh yeah, they're like the little circles also but they have like spices

on them and stuff and Chick-fil-A's hash browns are like super just regular. Yeah see I like regular. I don't like spices and stuff. So last night Isaac so let me let me start with this. I was having Lux this week because Chris works nights so it was easier for me to just take him instead of us trying to find like a sitter even though it's not my week and then I had Isaac because Joe is in Dallas so Chris didn't have to work for whatever reason. He took the baby for me and I went and spent time with Isaac last night just for his little chorus concert and he was so funny because for the last like three days he's like mom don't forget I need a white shirt and black pants and black shoes like he kept reminding me I'm like don't worry babe I got you I'm gonna

go to the store and get this right. So we're walking into the chorus concert last night he'd be there at 645 and he's like oh I just I know like I'm nervous because I can feel it right here in my neck it's like you know tingly it's a little it hurts a little and I just was cracking up because it was so cute and innocent that he was like so excited and nervous for his little concert that's so cute. I'm actually normally I would want Lincoln and Lux to have been there for it but I kind of feel good that it was just me and Isaac last night because it's very hard to juggle like the one-on-one time that I feel like every kid needs with their parent or parents so I'm actually really thankful that it was just me and Isaac and we went he was like mom I really want to go to

Panera and I was like okay we're gonna I'm so proud of you we're gonna go to Panera after it's gonna be a good time we'll do the concert go to Panera and then today I decided I was gonna take him to the movies too just because there's not a whole lot of times where I just have Isaac and not the other two so I'm like we're gonna go all out. I love that. He wanted to see Wreck-It Ralph so we're gonna go see Wreck-It Ralph tonight. Oh my gosh you have to tell me about how much you love it because I know that you're gonna like it but I have a funny story about Wreck-It Ralph so Jackson went to Will's parents this past weekend and they were like okay what are we gonna do like let's do something and asked if he wanted to go and see Wreck-It Ralph again and he was like well

I mean I like the movie but it's like really long when mom and I went it was daylight outside and when we left it was nighttime and so he didn't understand that like because of the time of the year that we went at three o'clock so by five o'clock it's already dark right but he thought that that meant it was like a way longer time. That's so cute Isaac said that the other day he was like it just gets really it gets dark really fast like I feel like time's passing so fast and I'm like yeah it definitely feels like that and it's crazy because I always every night now I'm like ready for bed at five o'clock because it's so dark. Yeah I'm really struggling actually Will and I had this conversation. Do you remember over the weekend when we were talking about how we basically

fight every single day about me working out? Yes that was hilarious actually because I just like complained to complain because I just hate sometimes going into the gym and I'm just like oh god like this sucks so bad um but I think it's the time of the day because Will works out at night and so when he gets home after he works out then I work out with him and then it's dark like it's like pitch black outside and I'm like okay I have zero motivation and used to before I had like gym equipment at home I went to the gym so I would go in the mornings like I would drop Jackson off at school and then go and I feel like I was so much more motivated because of the time of the day and so last night I was just like Will like I can't like I cannot do this this is miserable

it is pitch black outside I am swinging a kettlebell and to be perfectly honest I just want to sling this through the wall honestly I can't I don't I can't do night time work workouts I wanted to do this one challenge that my friends were doing and the workouts were at night at like seven well one that doesn't work when I have the baby I mean the other two could could have came with and done like homework or whatever played and stuff but like the baby would never at that time and um when I was in CrossFit I would always drop the kids off at school and go to CrossFit so I'm actually really looking forward to link to Lux going to Lincoln school next month because as soon as I drop them off I can go to the gym really quick and I just like the aspect of like go to the gym in the morning

come home shower and stuff get ready do my hair makeup for the day versus like the middle of the day workout where it's like okay I'm not going to shower and do my hair in the morning to go work out at three or four o'clock or seven o'clock and then come do you know what I mean like it's just too much yeah it's so weird I feel like it's I don't know like I need that to start my day and then I want to take a shower and be done with it mark it off my list and then move along and Will's like well already told you that you can go and get a gym membership and like do that because our stuff at home is more like CrossFit style so it's not like we don't have like um machines what is it like that are mechanical or whatever that yeah yeah we have like more like CrossFit style

stuff so I can't really do that on my own without having somebody else there it I don't think it would really be that safe so yeah I'm not really signing up to be killed by a bar and 25 pound weights so um Will's like already told you to go and get a gym membership but the thing is is like he really doesn't want me to get a gym membership because he wants to be the person that like helps me but right he'll be like oh go get a gym membership just so that he can like say that he told me to do that Will is a funny character okay Will okay um tis the season for cute gym wear you guys let's all be comfortable and look great especially when it can be easy affordable and gorgeous I'm wearing comfy yoga pants and tanks that actually

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we did not have school today so oh so where's Jackson he is playing in his playroom and he was like mom can I please do my tablet for like an hour and I'm like you know what but yes you can um but this morning we slept in because obviously school got called off last night like they made the executive decision and the weird thing is is when we were going to school I feel like we had to wait till the morning to find out didn't we which was a yes and it was a pain in the ass because it's like okay now that everyone's up at fucking 6 30 in the morning now you tell us that we don't have school at 7 30 so it's like so like could it have because but right right and like even this morning I was like okay typically

this week I wouldn't have the kids because they are with their dads and but now that I have Isaac okay I still have to get up to wake him up but I won't even get ready because he'll just go right here to the bus stop which is right here and then I can just take a nap before we podcast but my internal is it internal clock or like maternal clock whatever um I was up before the alarm even went up went off to wake Isaac up so I was up before my alarm clock even went off to wake him up and at that point it was like okay I'm helping Isaac you know do his hair and make sure that he eats and stuff before he leaves so at that point I just stayed up and then I went to Wawa and got my coffee and my two breakfasts and then started my day yeah I just don't understand like why we

didn't have the luxury of finding out the night before because I feel like I always find out the night before that Jackson's not having school the next day so um we slept in and Jackson was like mom we really need to do breakfast and we really need to see what the elf has gotten into and I'm like okay so we will so I come downstairs and he has never had toaster strudels until our trip to Disney and he was like fell in love with him I let him have stuff normally like on vacation that I wouldn't let him have regularly at home all the time and so I do have a pack of toaster strudels in my freezer just for like the random times that I would let him have them so he said that he wanted toaster strudel this morning so he had told me this past weekend that his baba

had toaster strudels at her house too well when I was fixing his toaster strudel and you know served him he was like mommy I have to tell you that baba's toaster strudels are like really hard and I'm like what and he is like yeah her toaster strudels are really hard and I said well did you eat them and he said yes I didn't want to hurt her feelings he said so when baba asked me if my toaster strudels were good I said yes baba these are delicious toaster strudels and I said well that was nice that you didn't hurt her feelings I said but you know sometimes if something is like not edible it would be okay to say you know baba this might be a little hard um not edible I'm done he's like but mom this toaster strudel is the best ever um but my elf on the shelf idea from last

night was to put the elf in a mason jar and screw the lid on so that he couldn't be touched because if you touch it it takes away his magic so um I knew he was going to be out of school so I put him in there so that Jackson could carry him around for the day and kind of spend the day with him without touching him um so it would give him something extra to do and then last night before I went to bed surprisingly I looked at messages on Instagram and saw where somebody had sent me the elf on the shelf that Javi did last night for Lincoln and asked me my thoughts on it and if I supported it and what was it what what did it what did he do first of all I don't know how all of a sudden you're gonna start elf on the shelf when you don't even do santa well he's

doing elf on the shelf so okay and then what was the elf doing okay so it looked like he was like near the toilet and I don't know what Pennywise is like I don't know what that is oh my god you're lying to me Pennywise is for that that kid that clown that kills people in the movie it see and I Javi and I argue about this all the time because I don't believe that how that Lincoln should know what Pennywise is but Javi thinks that because he did it as a kid he watched it as a kid it's not a big deal but I just don't agree I just you know what pisses me off this is the shit that pisses me off because I feel like as a mom now Lauren should know better than to allow that to happen I don't even know what it is I didn't even know the person just like

that kills people I can't okay so when I got tagged in this on Instagram I'm like so what's the big deal like it's action figures and they're like in the toilet like I had no idea first of all that's disgusting that it was like a killer like I didn't know all this information the clown kills people got it okay so um yeah that is nuts um this is co-parenting 101 I literally have never heard of Pennywise or know anything about that but I will say that I think Jackson would be terrified if he knew what Pennywise was but maybe Lincoln's not scared like maybe he likes he's not scared but it's still not something that I feel comfortable what having my children watch and I've expressed that to him he him and Lauren were trying to dress

Lincoln up as Pennywise for Halloween he's five he was four at the time remember me saying about Halloween that I don't believe in like dressing people up as like scary things yes yeah because I don't feel like it should be something that you do to like scare people but maybe they do think it's funny like I have no idea I don't think it's funny I don't think it's funny and I've expressed that to him and he still doesn't respect what I'm saying like he never does that makes me so mad and it makes me mad that like there's nothing I can do about it and so this is goes back to the last episode when we're talking about the girl who the dad bleached the son's hair like you're so angry and almost feel disrespected but there's nothing we can do about it like there's

nothing I can do literally I think you probably didn't mean anything by it I know that okay so let's take a minute to introduce to you guys Lola have you heard about this Lola is a female company offering a line of organic cotton tampons pads liners and all natural cleansing wipes Lola is a new modern approach to feminine care and it's awesome did you guys know that the FDA doesn't require brands to disclose a comprehensive list of ingredients in their feminine care products so most of them don't Lola offers complete transparency about the ingredients found in their products so you know what you're using Lola products are 100% organic cotton with no added chemicals fragrances synthetics or dyes Lola makes your month a little bit easier their

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okay cool well I have 100 things that I have to do this today because and yesterday today and tomorrow because I have to pack everything that I typically do without the kids into the weeks that I don't have the kids so now that I have Isaac this week and Lux actually has a doctor appointment tomorrow morning you know I have to do it before Isaac gets home from school so I'm annoyed because it's one of those things where people are like oh filming is not a job be thankful be thankful be thankful and it's like yeah it is a job it's a job in addition to the other jobs I have and I don't think it's fair for you to text me at nine o'clock in the morning and tell me you're on your way down to film for the day but they don't have clearance to film all the things

that I need to do so I have to postpone all the things that I need to do to a day that we're not filming right yeah so um I basically feel like as a mom and I don't know if other moms feel like this but when the school calls text emails that there's no school it's like your schedule is the one that gets all messed up but the dad's schedule is just like oh well I'm still going to work which I mean I get it it's like a requirement you know you have to you have to go um but will last me last night like well what are you gonna do tomorrow and I'm like what do you mean what am I gonna do like I'm gonna do the same thing that I normally always do I'm just gonna have Jackson for like four hours longer than I normally do and what did what was his response I think he's

just like clueless sometimes it's just as most dads are I feel like it's like most most dads are probably just like that and I'm just like okay did you guys find any clue bag and if you found it did you dip into it because that's really the question that that I have um and gosh I feel like my Christmas cards are looming over my head and I'm so fanatical about addressing them like I really like the handwriting to look like really nice on them so I just keep pushing it off to the next day and I've had them for like two and a half weeks and I still haven't addressed them they are oh stamped they have my return address on them they are packed I just have not written the other addresses on them and I feel like that's something that I need to get done today or it

will be um Easter and people will be getting Christmas cards well that's what I said yesterday I posted on Facebook because Becky made my Christmas cards and typically I order through minted and um she made my Christmas cards they came and then I ordered envelopes separately because Becky made them so um the envelopes that I ordered are too big and I said fuck it because if I wait and I order new envelopes these Christmas cards will go out for Easter then on top of it I'm like I have so many Christmas cards to mail out I started just like like I don't even know if you'll be able to read my handwriting when you get my card in the mail oh so I'm not finicky about my because I normally have the stickers for my return address they didn't come in time

I want to get them out like ASAP because it's already the 11th and um my like the two address honestly I just quickly scribbled it and the envelopes are too big they're going to think that I'm an idiot um so I'm just hoping to get them out by like Friday you don't have like the professional looking stamper with like your last name on it that no I actually get stickers yeah see I can't do the stickers I feel like it looks better when you have like that little professional stamp and you just do it um well these ones I just wrote on I just wrote my return my return address so I can't wait for you to judge me I can't wait I'm gonna take a picture of it and show everybody what honestly what I got seriously um but I ordered my cards off of

minted and literally when I tell you I ordered them and then I looked out my front door they were there it was like creepy fast and I was like okay wow like I ordered these in advance and thought okay it'll probably take a while for them to get here because I always feel like it takes forever for cards to get wherever they're going I don't know if it's because I order them so late and I'm just like impatient by the time I do it but I did it super early this year and they got here fast so it was like oh yeah oh yeah that's so funny sending the perfect holiday card is an art making a unique design with exquisite materials a one-of-a-kind gem that's what you get at minted.com the best designs by independent artist I ordered my Christmas cards with minted.com and honestly it

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know that I would be able to relate to her on any level aside from the fact that we both have three kids and you know obviously co-parenting but the divorce stuff and the show stuff that she posted was so true to what we go through and I don't think that people will ever truly understand how much it affects us because they think that filming a show is just so easy so for those of you listening that have not seen the post um she posted if I cared what people thought of me I wouldn't be here today let's be real I've stood strong and held it down for my kids since day one no matter how bad teen mom tries to portray my life my babies my family my close friends they know the truth I'm a pretty great mom I work my ass off show up and hustle every day to give

my kids a pretty great life MTV doesn't want to talk about faith show work ethic or juggling three kids alone they don't want to show the humble process of starting over after a divorce building a career or any real-life issues all they want with my little segment each week is some fake fill-in Farah Abram Jerry Springer BS and it's simply not true don't get me wrong I've said some mean things and have learned a lot the last several months but the life that I built for my kids is not sitting around talking about baby daddy drama every week is a continued disappointment with their inaccuracies and false narratives I hate getting all emo on you guys but I've kept quiet for too long about it don't believe everything that you see on TV 110 percent I relate to that on so

many levels just because when I was going through my clearly I've made tons of mistakes on TV and I've said a lot of shit that I shouldn't have said and done stuff but going through my divorce which was probably the rawest and most emotional stuff just like the whole process with the kids and everything else was so hard and then trying to keep my mouth shut and just you know people say things when they're bitter that are not true or they are angry in the moment and then trying to rebuild from that is so hard but it is so liberating like to realize okay yes I did get divorced I do have kids by different men but trying to start over and recognizing that that we can work and we want to work and we're hustling and making sure that everything gets done

excuse me for our children they don't show that part there I guarantee you when this show airs next month for me I guarantee that they're not gonna show a fraction of my hard work that I've put into pothead that I've worked in worked on all year I started working I worked on pothead all year and I bet you they won't even show a fraction of it or how much money and time and effort that I put into making sure everything goes smoothly for the podcast or pothead or for my kids or the fact that I don't know I went to Isaac's course concert alone which like I said was actually a blessing in disguise but they don't show any of that it's always what is the drama with the baby dad I don't sit on my cat even when I was going through my divorce I didn't sit on the couch

and talk about Javi my whole life like that wasn't my life at the time that's just what they wanted to film so I'm never related to something more and it's so sad because I can tell just by looking at the stuff on the show and what I've seen Bristol do just on social media and the things that she says and stuff like that like I can tell she does more than just sit around on the couch and watch and talk about her ex-husband I I know that and I recognize that and it's so sad that other people can't see right through those things the thing is though is that viewers see things so much different because they've never been a part of a production life so they don't know what it's like behind the scenes and they are seeing clipped footage that is handpicked by network by producers that is going

to sell and the struggle sells unfortunately that's just the truth of it it's not going to sell when I you're 16 years old you get pregnant you go on a show and you know people say that some people say that they're glorifying teen pregnancy some people say that the only reason that you guys have had opportunities is because of teen mom and I just think that's so crazy to me because do people just expect that you know you basically put your life out there on the front line everybody can watch view say whatever they want to say and you're not supposed to take any type of business opportunity to better yourself would it be better that you just sat on the struggle bus like I'm just I don't understand that so I have two two thoughts on that so

one of course they're gonna they're gonna air what drama is going to sell and I get that but show the full struggle don't air the same shit every week of us sitting there on the couch arguing or show the full struggle like there is more of a struggle than just bickering back and forth there is true struggle and pain and liberation and all of the above in you know trying to juggle businesses and being a good mom a single mom to three kids like there's there's pain and struggle and drama in that alone so why just sit there and harp on the divorce all the time my second thought on the opportunity side of what you said is yeah have I gotten opportunities because I'm on teen mom absolutely I won't deny that on the other hand I've also been denied opportunities because I was

on teen mom I have a list of 100 companies that won't work with me because I was on teen mom and the way that I've portrayed myself in the past not and that's in my personal life how I portrayed myself in the past in my own home in my own personal life and that doesn't that has become a reflection on how I do business and that's actually not accurate so had I been on a different show maybe I wouldn't be denied those opportunities but because I'm on it I can't work with x company b company y company because I was a teen mom 10 years ago or because I said something seven years ago and now it's on tv and all these trolls and memes have been made about it and when they google it seven trolls will say kale sucks when a hundred people are saying kale's worked her ass off do you

know what I'm saying right there's two it's um I catch 22 I feel like and I feel like it's hard for me to relate to even though I've been on tv because you guys started teen mom from 16 and pregnant so you were already struggling getting on tv you know like I had already when when I started filming I had already graduated from school was married and had a baby on the way um so my situation was a little bit different but also I feel like the production was different as well because even though they showed things that you might not necessarily want everybody to know we signed up for you know to give people the real life things of what was going on but I feel like there's a way to gracefully do that and maybe that's where MTV is missing the boat because

I just did not have that same experience it wasn't easy to watch my divorce unfold on tv like that wasn't an easy thing it wasn't an easy thing to film it none of the parts was an easy part but I feel like if it's got to be out there the way that they did it was graceful right and I think that that's where MTV's missing the boat a little bit not you know what probably not even missing the boat they do it on purpose so I just really wanted to address her post because I felt like I could really truly relate to that and um I would love to get her on the podcast I messaged her on instagram so hopefully um we can work something out um to get her on just to talk not necessarily just about that but maybe talking about what she's doing now post-divorce not necessarily harping

on her divorce because people are seeing it play out and um I don't know I would it would be nice to get um just a perspective on what she's doing and how and I don't know about you but it's always worse reliving it like the second time like you film it you know and then you relive it and I kind of saw Chloe Kardashian doing that this season on Keeping Up because all the stuff that unfolded with her interest in that we talked about on the podcast before um she had to relive that um when it aired so that's hard too you know it's like you've already been there done that you've gone through it you filmed about it and then now it's months removed you've kind of gotten over it and now it's back refreshed and right on your mind like the first thing on your mind that your

life sucks like that is horrible well and too like you don't know what people are saying in their segments so she might Bristol might be hearing for the first time what her husband has said off camera like on camera without her there and then it just brings out new emotions so yeah you're bringing out old emotions because this is something that you've already gone through so now you're reliving it rewatching it but you're probably also learning some things that people have said when you weren't around on camera you know that's the first time you know you hear that and it's ripping a band-aid off off of a brand new wound so um or whatever that saying is uh so um it's yeah it's tricky it's tricky very complicated and unless you're on reality tv you just don't you

don't get it um so well you know what sometimes things in life are for some people to understand and not for others and the best way to look at everything is just don't be a judgmental person don't look at somebody else's story and judge it because you have your own story and they're not looking at you judging your story so yeah that's pretty much all I have to say on that these days you can get practically everything on demand just like our podcast listen whenever you want when it's convenient for you did you know you can even get postage on demand all you need is stamps.com with stamps.com you can access all the services of the post office right from your desk and with all the packages everyone sends this time of year the holidays are the perfect time to try

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that I ran across and it was super strange to me like it was very sweet how it played out but the whole scenario was very strange and I just want to get your thoughts on it um oh god I'm nervous. It was an article about a new mom revealing what it was like to have her mother in law carry her baby. What? Yes so um basically she had wanted to be a mother and knew that it wasn't probably going to be a possibility for her and at 17 she had had a partial hysterectomy after doctors had found a tumor on her uterus and so they found out that the tumor was benign and so her ovaries didn't have to be removed so still had those so years later she gets married and the only way to have a biological child with her husband would to be to use a gestational

a gestational surrogate so they start the search for this but didn't expect that the surrogate would be his mother and these people were from Arkansas and the mother-in-law was 50 years old and um she was basically going through like the whole story of how people will say and I know that I've heard this before and I've heard other people talk about it that they'll be a they would be a surrogate but it's easy like it's easy to say until it comes time to do it so she says that her mother-in-law was like very serious about it and um that they had a great relationship and had always been like so caring and supportive of you know their marriage and relationship and so they started the IVF process and had the transfer and it didn't take and then

this second attempt they found out that the mother-in-law was pregnant and so basically how that worked out was that the son and the daughter-in-law had her do a urine sample and left it on the porch and they found out that she was pregnant before she even found out um so yeah like I have so many feelings about this um yeah because okay one is it weird for the husband for his mom to carry his child one two is it a weird situation with the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law um with her carrying the child because even though that's going to be her grandchild she still carried the baby and right I feel like we can all relate to mother-in-laws and how you know they raised their kids and so they want to give you a little advice on

on how they you know think their grandkids should be raised and you know I have a pretty good mother in law she doesn't really give too much advice um but I know a lot of people do deal with like major mother-in-law issues so even though their relationship is great to me I feel like I would be worried the whole pregnancy of just feeling like okay is she gonna want to be like super controlling because she carried the baby I don't know how do you feel like no I have I have a ton of feelings on it I feel like it was nice and I obviously comes from a place a place of love and you know you want your your son and your daughter-in-law to be able to have children but I really feel like it being that close to home over complicates it and you know you don't know if while

she's pregnant she's gonna do things you know quote-unquote the right way you know to to the to the woman the the mother and the surrogate is so close to home it could be a conflict of interest and then what if like okay the mother-in-law is 50 so how pregnancy was when she probably had her own children and how doctors like things that they advise they don't advise you know the things that you can eat not eat and stuff like that little things like that were probably so different than how they are today so that's gonna be you know you're that's just like over complicating it and then once the baby is born it's like um are you gonna have these maternal instincts and like want to like essentially be a second mother or you're gonna

stay in your grandma lane and be the grandmother you know what I'm saying and then who knows what kind of strains that would put on a marriage because that is the mom or what if there's complications it's like how do you deal with something like that I don't and with her being 50 or older how what does the delivery look like because so she did have I'm gonna go ahead out okay so she already did that okay so I don't know I think that I wouldn't do it it would not be for me whether I have a good relationship with my mother-in-law or not I wouldn't do it only because I just out of fear alone that it might affect our relationship negatively now or in the future I just think that that would be so conflict of interest the same and even though it is your baby even though

she carried it I just feel like it's a whole different dynamic of the process that you're adding to like an already hard situation situation you're adding possible drama and hurt to the situation and granted they had a great experience from what the article said but I mean they might not be telling the whole story either because I can't imagine just being the daughter-in-law and knowing that you know she's carrying my baby and going on with her life and I don't know it's just so weird like I don't know how to explain it I feel like if I was in that situation I would have to have a surrogate that I could just like on pen and paper that they are the perfect fit and I have no ties to that person emotionally whatsoever well it's hard too because I actually

have a friend who tried to be a surrogate and she had told me that the process of being a surrogate and was she had to give herself shots every day she had emotional mood swings and that would like all the whole process before even getting pregnant took a toll on her marriage and so that right there would complicate things for me and then she she did end up not she didn't she wasn't able to carry the first time I think she had a miscarriage that's a whole like trauma emotional devastation and then I think the second time she had twins and lost them and it was just like everything leading up to even getting pregnant was a bunch of drama for her and her own husband so I don't know that I would want to like over complicate my family situation for something um you know it's

crazy because I was just talking to a friend of mine this morning about um you know how would I I want to have more kids right so I have three boys but I would love to have a daughter one day like how how would that work what what does that look like for me and I talk about it all the time sperm bank use what you know Chris or whoever somebody else I've had kids with which obviously Joe and Javier out of the question so like how would I do that well a sperm bank but I mean what does that really look like because if that's the case then I don't know if I would have to do like in vitro or because you know it was hard for me to get pregnant after after lux I mean we had multiple miscarriages and or not after lux I'm sorry after Lincoln um I that

emotional side of it is so devastating that I don't know but then it also what is the alternative they could have went and found another surrogate which was would be super expensive or adoption which is also can be really expensive or you know how does what does that look like so maybe they did it because you know of a financial but I guess she would still have to go through the whole process which costs money so I don't know yeah I mean I really don't I don't know but as far as you're concerned I mean you already have like up and down co-parenting relationships all around let's just say that like it comes in waves um right depends on which dad on which day um right so what does that look like like would it be worth the up and down to have another baby let's just

say Chris or would it be worth going through the process of a sperm bank knowing that you don't have to co-parent with anyone but I have to co-parent regardless with the other three so I don't know yeah I don't really know so then there's like adoption or foster to adopt you know there's other options I guess for me if I can get pregnant after my accutane um I don't know so if you guys have listened to our podcast before you know that we love beta brand I hope you guys have had time to try these because they are seriously the most comfortable pants that you will ever wear I love their dress pant leggings and I always pack them wherever I go I know that I can dress them up or down which makes business traveling comfortable while still looking put

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b r a n d dot com use our code coffee and get 20 off your dress pant yoga pants um can we talk about your accutane because I saw yes oh my gosh yes about how expensive it was and then I clicked on the post and so many people were making so many mean comments about it that I was just like yeah I've got to click off of here because it's like putting me in a Debbie Downer mood okay so I've struggled with acne since I was in the first grade like seven years old I'm getting acne don't know why I just did my mom my mom and dad both said that they didn't struggle with it don't know why I got it I've had it um and which is crazy because Isaac also has it really bad so I'm like you've had it since you were six or seven and I don't get it so anyway um I have contemplated going on accutane

for so long but just the side effects alone are enough to scare the piss out of you and there is a 99 percent birth defect rate so you have to use two forms of birth control while you're on it and then you have once you come off of it you have to be on um or you have to wait x amount of time before you can even try to get pregnant because you have to make sure it's out of your system um so I was supposed to go on it and then I backed out because there's a lot of work behind getting on accutane you have to pass basically all these prerequisites essentially um to get approved and then once you're approved you have to then go get blood work once a month to make sure that you check your cholesterol you're make sure you're not pregnant and you

have to go online every single month and answer like a survey essentially like um about the product how you're feeling um make sure you're not pregnant you know x y and z about what could happen or what's in the informational packets right so I jump through all these hoops I get approved my my blood work is great um and I finally go pick up my go to pick up my prescription I knew it would be expensive but I do have insurance so I was like okay I'll be willing to pay the copay for the accutane which it's a it's called Clarivus it's a different it's not accutane I think they renamed it and there's other brands um but it's called Clarivus and I get to the window and they're like okay this is um your total is five hundred and sixty dollars and I said is that with insurance

and she said yes and I said okay I said well let me let the people behind me it was a drive through let me let the people behind me go and then I'm gonna pull around again because I need to think about this at this point I'm on the phone with Kristen um and I'm crying because I'm like I'm frustrated because I've gone through every loophole jump through hoops whatever you want to call it to get on this medication and now they're telling me it's five hundred and sixty dollars per month for the next five to six months however long I'm on it five or six months I already have to pay for my blood work because my insurance doesn't cover all of that so I just paid to have my blood work twice which was over a hundred dollars each plus the doctor the visits I have a copay and now you're

gonna tell me that my medication is five hundred and sixty dollars I posted that on twitter and I get all these comments oh you make a good you make a good salary so just pay for it quit bitching this that and the third okay but these are the same let me let me back up a little bit I understand that people have diabetes and they have to pay X amount of dollars for their prescriptions too and I'm not I'm not saying that mine is worse than theirs I'm just saying that it's so crazy to me that I'm struggling at 20 almost 27 years old with acne that I've had my whole life and I want to have clear skin I want to feel good about myself too so I'm not comparing the two I'm not saying one is worse than the other I'm just saying how crazy it is that these prescriptions just to

live you know for people that have diabetes you know live in general and then for me who I'm struggling with really bad acne is like horrible right yeah and I just could not believe that it costs that much like I didn't know you know that that's what it costs Will's brother was on Accutane for a while but I had no idea that it was you know that expensive and there was that much stuff that went into it to actually get it and it's it's horrible because some people just don't have an option like you try everything and there's just no other that's the only that's the only way for you to get on Accutane your doctor has to literally really tell them every single thing that you've tried prescription wise antibiotics

topicals over the counter everything changing your diet they have to literally sign off that we've gone through every single process before you try Accutane like Accutane is essentially a last resort right and so you know for me to have gone through this and go back and forth with it was really devastating for me I mean I have had acne for so long I just want to be able to go and like I have days where you know my acne isn't as bad as it as it normally is but it's just like I would love to just be you know fresh face and confident in my own skin and I don't think that that's too much to ask for and I think that other insurances cover more but for whatever reason my insurance doesn't want to cover you know clearly any of it but I did get a coupon and I got it

down to like 422 and that's that was just for this this first dose so I'm gonna start it here in a couple days I'm just like I even though I already picked it up I'm still a little nervous I'm a little nervous so I'm gonna wait a couple days and then and then I'm gonna start and go for my blood work I have to pretty much go for my blood work in two weeks again for the next month and um yeah it's I was surprised at how expensive it is and then how nasty people were to me toward about it and then also how devastating it is for people who have diabetes and other things going on like if acutain caught for acne costs that much who the hell knows what people are paying just to stay alive every day that's truly truly devastating truly it really is and you haven't even factored

and the fact that you know you might have to pay child support so oh and that too I mean I didn't even think about that because I was focused on the house I bought I put the money on the land and I was gonna build and it was they were gonna break ground in April or whatever and I'm like well let's put that on hold too until I find out if I have to pay child support so same thing for this is like okay I just want to have clear skin but I have to pay this I might have to pay you know thousands in child support it's just like one thing after another but trying to have a good spirit because you know Christmas is right around the corner it's just it's honestly too freaking much it really is too much um switching gears a little bit I wanted to talk about Jackson's field

trip oh that's right yeah let's talk about it let's hear about it so we go and of course you know I pick him up from school driving over to the assisted living and he's super stoked he's like yeah we're going to see the old people we're going to see the old people I'm like yes so we get in there and they you know basically do like this whole concert of like these Christmas songs and Jackson's super animated about it really into it and then they give out goody bags of the things that they made and brought to school and so Jackson you could tell like when he was walking around it was very interesting because when I walked in to the room they asked for the parents that were there kind of like overseeing to kind of stay to the back and let the kids you know kind of be

with the teachers and so we were like okay so I'm watching and trying to video and whatnot but I noticed this one little man when I walked in and I don't know it's like my heart melted for him and then it was funny when Jackson went to go and hand out goody bags he went straight to that man aww that's so cute that's so cute and so you know they each handed out goody bags to everybody and everybody got some and um I saw this one lady she must have been really into candy because she was like she had two goody bags and she had them side by side and she was like trying to pick which one she wanted by how much chocolate was like in one um I thought it was super cute but Jackson like went around and and gave everybody hugs but when he got home last night and Will was

talking to him Will was like well how was the how was this is a living and he said well you know you know it was great and everything but you know I was a bit disappointed and mom was a bit disappointed Will was like well why and he said well you know it just wasn't what I thought it was going to be I thought I was going to get asked people about the war and I thought I was going to get to ask people about their grandchildren but I really didn't have time to do that aww he wanted to so you guys could do a little mini trip without the school then that's what I'm thinking so I think um I'm going to contact the place and let him go back because he was super interested in doing that so I thought it was I thought it was super

cute just to watch them interact and um just the fact of seeing the people and Jackson giving them hugs and one lady was like that's the best hug I've gotten all year so I just I thought it was like really really sweet broke my heart partially that's so sweet yeah so um I also interviewed for an assistant yesterday and how'd that go it went really well um you know I feel like it's so hard being just like a person honestly like not just a mom or dad but just like hard being a person hard being human you have so many things that go on throughout the day and especially being a stay at home mom but also working and we've talked about this so many times but you know I have to do everything pretty much on my own for the hours that will is at work and there's a lot of stuff

to be done and it's hard and I feel like with you know soccer and baseball and all the things that I want to be doing that I just need like a part-time assistant that can take care of tasks that take me away from my family just like at unnecessary times and I'm sure you can relate oh yeah um I hired an assistant at the beginning of the year just to help me do little tasks I um um put them under my LLC and they're on payroll and I can't keep up by myself with the three kids and I am thankful that I'm in a position where I was able to do that because I feel like I literally cannot credit parents single parents mothers that work full-time jobs outside of the home because I don't understand where they find the time to get everything done um and a lot of them

you know I you look at it today and you're like minimum wage doesn't pay the bills even slightly over minimum wage $10 $12 an hour that does not pay the bills that does not cover you know the basic things in life you have to bust their ass working 60 hours a week and then how do you get your kids to sports you know how we've always talked about that stuff so it's like I don't know how people do it and I'm yeah I had to have I had to have an assistant help me and actually I was looking for interns for pothead because now that I've added that to my plate I don't know how to keep up with that plus like regular everyday stuff so um so did you hire her or what's the plan so I basically asked her to send me what she thought her job description would be because I did read that

about interviewing that it's always good to get the idea of what they think their job is and what your job description for them is and so she's checked off all of the boxes um her job description for herself was actually more than what mine was so I was like okay I think I can do this but I think a lot of people can also relate that when you're used to doing it all that it's hard to give away some of that control to somebody else right it's like you're entrusting that this person is going to do all of the things that you do to your standard and that's right hard um and especially hard for a person like me because I mean you've worked with me for a year and you know that like I'm very type a personality I like things a certain way it's going to be done at x amount of time if

it's on the calendar it's getting done if it's not to start not happening um I have always been that way more so as an adult when I could have control kind of of my own life and my parents didn't make my schedule um but it's hard to know that okay I have all of these things going on and I want everything to be done right like I'm a perfectionist and to just like kind of give that to somebody else is my major hang up with it and it's not that it's kind of like we were talking a few weeks ago on the podcast about um me not letting Will give Jackson a bath for the first six months of his life it wasn't a control thing I don't think it was just a I want to make sure that he's cleaned right and I want to make sure that everything that I do would be done and I don't want to

have to tell him to do those things it's just easier for me to do those things so I don't know it's hard it's so hard I get it trust me I get it and I don't understand how you know single parents or working parents like hats off to you because if you're getting all of this stuff done on your own and you're flying solo or if you're you know you and your spouse are out working jobs and your kids are in sports and you know you're doing stuff at the school and whatnot then you know what you are a real MVP because I feel like I struggle and I don't know if it's because of being a perfectionist or if it's just like there's so much stuff to be done or what like I don't get it I think it's a little of both yeah and I'm people always say that you

can be your own worst enemy you know and in that regard I definitely think that I am like I worked from six o'clock yesterday morning until one one a.m. yeah it's like the job never ends yeah never freaking ends um but on another note I was online and with it being Christmas I saw this thing on NBC about how I would be so freaking mad what hell's flames couldn't be big enough um a substitute teacher told a first grade class that Santa's not real I would smack somebody we don't even do Santa but if we did I would smack someone and that the teacher also after confirming that Santa wasn't real then the questions about the Easter Bunny and the tooth theory came up and she also said that those don't exist either and told them wrong with people these are first graders this person told

them specifically that um this was in New Jersey and she said that the elementary school would be put on the naughty list and told the class that sienna was not real and the presents that were put under the tree were put under there by their parents I would literally fight somebody like who who does she think she is telling people that I do not know I need answers she also told them that reindeer can't fly and elves are not real okay well I hope someone I hope karma gets her who is this person first of all honestly what's her name did it say her name no it did not say her name um oh good probably because parents like us would be so pissed that they probably did it for her own safety but like really bitch who do you think you are to tell a first grade class

that like all of this stuff isn't real like nobody gave you permission to get involved like that honestly that's not that's not your position your place your no that's not okay I mean no and I mean I know you don't even do it like you don't even do it and it outrageous me if my kids were if my kids tell their friends that saying it's not real I would they would be punished because you don't you don't do that to people and Jackson already like watched um um some Christmas movie I forget what it was but he was like Mom is Santa real because this movie had this man taking his beard off and I was like well that's just an actor in the movie like that's not like the real Santa he's just acting right he's Santa so like I played it off that way but

yeah it's like kids only have a certain amount of time to be innocent and to actually believe in these things and you going to school as a substitute teacher like not even a real teacher but like a substitute and telling kids that this stuff isn't real something is mentally wired wrong with you and honestly you need to check out somewhere else because I would have to slap her honestly I hope she was fired I truly hope she never gets hired as a substitute again Dom is that you because I know you're a substitute in Jersey Dom no she would never do that she would never do that no but like who does this I need answers I need to know who she was and I need to see a picture of her so if anybody's listening and you want to do some investigating

if you will let us know picture of this lady who told these kids that this stuff was not real please send it to us on the podcast Instagram because I need answers right now so thanks for listening to our bonus episode guys you can catch us next week on our regular Thursday and we will see you guys then bye this podcast is brought to you by wave podcast network check out all of our shows including the brain candy podcast I don't get it babes and babies coffee convos and let's talk about it