Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 47: Childhood Cancer Awareness, Advocating for Your KId, & TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress

Episode Date: September 27, 2018

Kail & Lindsie talk w/ special guest Anna Thompson about her son's battle w/ cancer. They discuss how Lindsie met Lake while visiting Children's. They talk about how important it is to join Be The Match if you are 18-44 you can join & swab for free. Lindsie talks about faith & how she feels believers get peace from God when they are facing death. They talk about mom anxiety & how you are forever worrying. Anna talks about going on TLC's 'Say Yes to the Dress,' & how she picked her wedding dress 2 days before her big day. They discuss being an advocate for your kids, they don't have a voice & it's your job. 

Hey guys, welcome to Coffee Combos. We are at the Avalon Hotel today in Alfreda, Georgia, and we have a special guest. Yes, our special guest is a friend that I met at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta a few years ago, and it is childhood cancer awareness month for the month of September, and we decided to bring her on as a fellow mom and tell her story. So welcome, Anna. Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

So exciting. So I haven't really told Kale the background story of how we met, so do you remember how we met? Oh yeah. Yes, you want me to tell? Yeah. Well, so my son, Lake, was diagnosed with cancer in 2012, and we actually met Lindsay three years later in 2015.

Her family came up to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta at Eggleston to bring Love Your Melon Hats to all the kids up there, and we actually were in clinic that day. Kate was getting chemo and probably a blood transfusion, and so they came up there, and of course the nurses came by and asked, you know, did we want to have a visitor? And of course, he said yes, because he always wanted visitors. And then when they came in, he was especially excited because he saw pretty ladies. He was quite the ladies' man, and so they came and visited and gave us a Love Your Melon Hat, and me and Lindsay just, you know, kind of clicked and became friends on Instagram

and just, you know, through social media, and we kept up that way. Well, so I remember setting up the visit to Children's, and I was kind of hesitant to do it because I take everything so, like, too hard, so when I go and do those visits, I have to have, like, a detox almost from it for, like, six months before I can go back because... It's so hard on you. It pulls on your heartstrings. Yeah.

I get so emotionally invested in those kids, and then I want to, like, follow their stories and see where they are, and then to see if something, like, happens to one of them. It makes me feel devastated, so that's a hard thing. I love giving back and, like, visiting the children because I know they love it so much, and I, you know, talked to some nurses at Children's and told them, you know, that's kind of how I felt and made me feel so sad to see, like, why God, you know, like, why them, and they said, but you don't understand, like, how much of an impact you're making on these kids' lives because they love to have visitors because this is their day today,

you know, and this is what they deal with on a daily basis, and there was a little girl I went, I've done three Love Your Melon trips to Children's and did a tour with and met the dog at Children's, and a little girl that she's now in her mission had just messaged me. It was very ironic last week that it was just, like, our picture from where I visited, and she had said that it was, like, the best day of her life, and she was so happy, and she just wanted to, like, follow up and see how I was doing, and, you know, she's got all of her hair back now, so she looks completely different, and, yeah, it's, I mean, it's so

sweet. So how does that work? Do they just get visitors, like, not randomly, or how do you set it up through the hospital? Like, how does that work? Well, so I went through, um, their, I guess they have, like, a marketing team there, I guess, that, that's how I got it set up, and through, like, the giving program, there's how you can come, like, if you give to Children's, then you can come and visit, and, you know, also, I didn't know that families liked visitors, because they're going through so much, they

might not want to talk, and so when I first went into the hospital, and I, you know, I start seeing the kids, you know, on my first visit, I thought, wow, how am I even going to talk to these parents, because, like, I can't relate, you know, and I don't, I don't know what to say, I don't know, you know, how to act, I don't know what to do, I just know that I want to partner with Love Your Melon, and help these kids, you know, and just, like, give them a bright spot of their day, and, you know, some families didn't, you know, weren't receptive to it, and they, you know, didn't want visitors, and that could have been, like, a new diagnosis, you know, you don't know, and then you can't go into

the bone marrow trance, you know, like, for kids that, you know, you can't go in that unit, because it has to be very, like, sterile, so no germs, and stuff. Can't have a lot of people, like, in and out. In and out, yeah. Oh, well, that's kind of heartbreaking for the family, or the kids that would want to see somebody, and they can't. That was probably the hardest, one of the hardest parts of our journey, because Lake had a bone marrow transplant, and we were literally stuck in our room for, like, over

a month, and I had a newborn, too, and so it was like, we couldn't, you know, we couldn't leave, we couldn't have visitors, and he obviously is very, he was very friendly and very active, and, like, wanted to, like, be around people, so that was, like, a huge struggle. So Lake Mew about Kris Lino's Best from WWE, is that right? Yeah. So he loved wrestling. Yeah. He loved wrestling, and we'd gone to see a wrestling match, and your dad was there.

Yeah. I can't remember who was with him. I don't... I think my little brother. Yes. Yeah. And, um, yeah, so anyways, like, he kind of put it, like, all together, like, once, you know, they came to visit.

So I was... When I first went in, he was, like, the first kid that I saw, because he was, like, right at the front whenever you come in, and he was sitting in the little chair, getting his transfusion, and, you know, you could tell that, like, he was looking, and I don't know if he thought, like, we were there to specifically see someone or what, but, like, he was just, like, look... I just remember him looking around, and, you know, again, this was the first time I'd ever been.

I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what to do, and it was weird, the feeling that I got going up the elevator to go to the floor, because I just felt, um, like, my heart was already breaking before... You were even up there. Yeah. I was even there. Um, for our listeners that don't know your story, can you kind of walk us through from his, you know, initial diagnosis to just your journey?

Yeah. Um, well, so Lake was diagnosed in 2012, and he was five years old. He was, well, two weeks shy of his sixth birthday, um, and he'd always just been really healthy, um, and so it was a huge, like, surprise for us, but he was having random fevers, some ear infections that he'd never had before, and, um, so finally we figured out what was wrong with him, and it was cancer, which was... We definitely thought he was just, like, maybe anemic, or just really didn't have no what was going on, um, and so finally, um, pediatricians and his children, and he was diagnosed there,

and, um, he was diagnosed with AML, uh, which is a form of leukemia, and it's a really aggressive form, um, and so that's, that was, like, one of the main things that they told me was that, well, you really don't want him to have AML, and the next day they came in and they're like, he has AML, um, so we had to kind of... So immediately your heart starts breaking? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, but I will say, like, I went into complete, like, mom mode, and, like, um, you know, like,

I just knew I had to, like, fight. I mean, I had to, you know, um, so anyways, I just, um, he, he went through chemo, um, he had four rounds of chemo, and he went into remission, and he did great, everything was going well. So it was just, he just did the chemo? Yeah. He just did chemo, because they said he had, like, a pretty good genetic marker, they felt that he wouldn't need a bone marrow transplant, so we started with chemo, um, and so he did

the four rounds of chemo, but we were in the hospital for, like, a month at a time, which that was really hard. So each round was, like, a month? Yes, that we had to be in the hospital, because the chemo would, like, wipe out his immune system, um, and at the time I had a one-and-a-half-year-old, he had a little brother, um, and so that was really difficult, but I had a great family support system, they helped, it was, you know, everything was good, and so at the end of that, so he was diagnosed in May, came to, like, October, he was done, and I found out I was pregnant.

Um, so we were, like, you know, I just really felt like this was God, you know, like, this rainbow after the storm, like, he's now in the mission, yeah, so, like, everything was going great, he went back to school, um, everything was back to normal, and then, um, that next April, um, just at a routine checkup, because he would have to go a month late to have his blood checked, um, we found out he relapsed, and I was, like, a month away from giving birth, and I was just, like, this is, like, the worst timing ever, you know, and you know, you just always, you want things on your timing, and you feel like, well, I got, like, why would you do this, like, this is just terrible timing, um, but we went with it, and at that point,

they told us that he had to have a bone marrow transplant, so that's where things got real. Okay, so I'm just gonna take a quick break to talk about the designer genes that fit you perfectly and feel amazing, and you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars. Mott & Bow have permanently changed the game with $200 designer genes for half the price. Introducing Mott & Bow.com, where you can get designer genes for half of what you pay somewhere else for 7 or J brand. They look incredible and are also super comfortable. You will want to live in them.

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They pretty much tell you upfront that it's a very likely chance that he will pass away during transplant. He had to start chemo immediately to get into remission, and so at that time, then I had the baby. So I've just given birth, and they're telling me all these things that my child may not make it, which then added in the factor, too, that he's biracial. So it's really hard to find a bone marrow donor when you're biracial, and so that's why Be The Match is huge, and why if any biracial, really, they need any kind of ethnic diversity

on the... This might be an ignorant question. So if your child is biracial, do they need a biracial transplant? Yes. Because all my kids are biracial. It has to be a biracial one. Oh, wow. So not just, you know, if my kid's Hispanic, it can't just be just Hispanic, ask people.

Yeah. Wow. That's why. I mean, that's why it's so like people... You see all the Be The Match all the time, and that's why they encourage everyone to swab because, I mean, you could be that one person that has like a really different race or ethnic background, you could be, you know, their match. So anyways, they found, they did not find an actual person match, they found a cord

blood match. Oh, wow. So it's also the same thing. If you have a baby and you are not going to bank their cord blood yourself, you can donate it, and it's all free, and they use that. See, I didn't know you could donate it. Yeah, they use stem cells from that. And so they found a cord blood, and that's all anonymous.

Like when you donate that, like, because, you know, if it's a person... So you would never know the donor? No, I would never know. No, if it's a person, you can choose after a year, after the transplant, you can choose if you... If both of y'all want to meet one another, you can. But when it's a stem cell, that's like all anonymous, like you have no idea. So I would never know who.

But so we... he did the transplant in August of 2013, and he was such a rock star. Like he was just... he did so good. Like everything that they told me was going to go wrong and everything went right. He did so good. Like we weren't there for as long as they said we were going to be there. And so going back to when, you know, I was like, this timing is all wrong. Like looking back now, I just... I know that God like gave me that baby for a reason and that it all happened at that time because like she was such a bright spot.

Like she... like when he couldn't get out of bed because he was so sick, like he would get up to like, you know, hold her or see her smile. And so like I just... I totally look back on that now and I'm like, I know now. Like I know this is like why it happened that way. I didn't know it at the time, but... and that's why, you know, you a lot of times just have to trust God's timing and stuff. So anyways, he did great. He went through the transplant.

We... you know, he came home a lot sooner than we thought he would, but he couldn't... we couldn't do anything. Like we had to just be at home. He couldn't go to school. And so they kind of told us, you know, the year mark is like what you need to get to. If you can get to a year post-transplant, like we're probably in the good. So everything was going great and he was doing really good and in May of 2014, the day before his birthday, we went for his regular checkup and they told me that it had come back.

And that was probably harder than when they first told me he had cancer. And that's because by then I like knew so much more about what was probably gonna happen. And I knew that since we'd already done a transplant that there probably wasn't gonna be much more that they could do for him. And by now, or by that time, he had become so mature because he'd hospital lived for so long and he knew what was going on. And I think it's the first time that he ever really like, you know, felt like he knew he was really sick and he knew that it wasn't good.

And you know, that was probably the hardest part for me because, you know, that day when they came in and they took him out and they told me and then they brought him back and he saw me crying and he said, I'm gonna die or not. Yeah. And that was like the hardest part for me was hearing him like say those words because he was only, you know, he was about to be eight years old, two is only seven. So you know, we, the doctors talked to us and they kind of pretty much said what I knew and that was that there was not really much more they felt that they could do for him.

And so we, you know, looked at a lot of different options, of course, you know, a lot of other hospitals like St. Jude and a lot of the hospitals you hear about offer trials and stuff that you can do. But they pretty much had told us that whatever we chose to do, if we chose to go to another hospital that like these trials, I mean, there's no guarantee. So it's like, do we, you know, it was like the worst position as a mother to be in. Because you don't want him to suffer anymore. Yes.

So they're like, do you want quality or do you want quantity? You know what I mean? And it's like just knowing Lake and his spirit and like all that he'd already been through, like I just wanted his quality of life to be good. You know, I didn't want to like go to another hospital and him die there, just me and him without my family, you know, without his family, his siblings. And so we just really prayed about it. And I just, I never had a peace about any of these trials that were offered and really

there weren't that many, to be honest, anyways, and none of them were like a super great option. And our doctors here were not super excited about any of them. Like they just didn't feel like they would be a cure for him. It would be just to prolong his life and probably not in a good way. Do you know what, you know, so we decided to kind of do that because I mean, at the time they were like, you know, you could take him home now and not do any more chemo, not do anything. And you know, he's probably going to pass away in the next few months, or you can like

go do a trial somewhere, or you can stay here at your home hospital and we can do chemo and we can do some things to give him a little bit of life. And so that kind of life is that, well, that's what they felt like he wouldn't be suffering. Like it would be outpatient chemo, he can still like go to school, like he could still have, you know, some somewhat of a life, we could go and do things, you know, whatever. And so that's what, that's what we ultimately decided that we were going to maybe do another transplant if we could, you know, get him into remission and see where it went. And so we did that and, you know, I, I don't know, I mean, now like looking back, you know,

there's always always like kind of question, you know, did I do the right thing? But now looking back at the time, they told me, well, even doing this, like you probably have maybe four or five months with him and he lived an entire year. Oh, wow. Yeah. Past that. And, and sometimes I feel like that was God saying, you know, like I'm giving you this with him, you know, and it was like good quality time.

Like we, he wasn't like very, when he, when he relapsed, he wasn't like super sick. He didn't have a lot of cancer at the time. So he, he went to camp that summer, he went to camp sunshine, we did his make a wish. We went to the beach, like we, he went back to school, he played baseball, like he lived like pretty normal. Yeah. Like pretty normally. And like if you didn't know, like he didn't lose his hair that time.

So like if you didn't know, like you wouldn't have even known probably that he was sick, you know. Okay, guys, let's take a quick second so we can tell you about the absolute easiest way to keep your health on track with practically no effort. I know that we've talked about this before on the podcast, but care of is a monthly subscription vitamin service made from effective quality ingredients tailored just to your needs. Care of has a fun online quiz that makes it easy to determine the vitamins and supplements that you might be in need of.

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monthly delivery for an extra easy boost whenever you need it. I can't wait to try these. Plus, they have pre- and post-natal supplements for all the moms out there. This is perfect because obviously you guys know Lindsay and I are moms and for 25% off of your month of personalized care of vitamins, visit takecareof.com and enter promo code COFFEE. Let's get back to the show. So but you know, so we kept doing that and then about Christmas time is when we really kind of started to see, I mean we knew eventually the cancer would start to like take over.

And so I guess about Christmas time he really started feeling worse and kind of you know, getting more sick and in February of 2015, which I think y'all came, I feel like it was after this. Okay, so in February of 2015 he got really sick. He got an infection in his port and he was getting blood and it sent the infection like straight to his heart and so he like coated on the floor and yeah. So we thought we were going to lose him then and so that he went to ICU and so basically he went into septic shock and so at that point they looked at us and were like, you know,

his heart is not functioning properly. So a transplant is like off the table like he would never make it through a transplant. And so we, I think y'all saw, he got out of the house, we got out of ICU, he came back home, you know, everything was just kind of going, he was really sick. I mean he had to be in a wheelchair, he couldn't really walk anymore. I want to say when we came it would have been, it was still cool outside but I want to say it was March. I feel like it was like March because I know when y'all came he was sick, I mean he looked

bad and because I know he was kind of quiet when y'all came. He was and I remember he just touched my heart so much that when I got home I wanted to like find you on social media because I was like, she's going to lose her baby. Yeah, I mean yeah you knew then, I mean you knew like when you saw him. And then when you had posted that he passed, I mean I couldn't imagine how you felt because my whole day was like how do I even like reach out to her and say, like what would I even say? Say.

Say. Right. Yeah, so he passed away May the 1st of 2015, a few months after he had that and we kind of knew when he got that, when he went into septic shock that that was kind of like the beginning of like the end but you know it's weird, I just, for me personally and like every family is different and everybody handles things differently but I, they started talking about hospice and I did not want him to pass away at home. I felt more comfortable like personally with him passing away at the hospital around the

nurses that had loved him for three years, that knew how to, that could manage his pain or just you know whatever. I didn't personally feel comfortable and so we went into the hospital on a Sunday, I know on a Monday, just as a regular clinic visit to get blood and platelets and he had a fever and so they said, well we really think we need to just keep you here. And so. Do you think they knew? No, I don't think anybody knew that this was like, that this was about to happen.

Like we knew that he was going to die, we did know that but like it happened very quickly and very sudden and so we got admitted into the hospital and but it is, it's so strange because like one of the nurse practitioners came in on a win on like that Wednesday and we had this like really great week at the hospital which I know that sounds crazy but even though he was like really feeling bad and sick like he was like all over the hospital like just you know wanted me to wheel him around and like see everybody that he you know in the gift shop and like all the different things and so we like had this great week and on Wednesday Colleen, it was the nurse practitioner and she came in and she said

I don't, because I don't think that you should go home today, I think that you need to stay. She's like you're going to be getting chemo anyways and she said but maybe later and he said I'm going home on Friday and it was just like so weird how he said it, he said I'm going home on Friday and so we were all kind of like okay and so that he passed away that Friday. Yeah and so it was like just such a, I don't know like he just had this spirit about him, I felt like he knew and he like was not scared like he was so firm and like his faith and stuff that like he knew he was going to heaven you know what I mean and I mean even for me

as an adult I don't know about y'all but like when I think about like dying, I mean it's still scary, it's so scary even though I do feel like I'm going to heaven I'd still feel scary and I just feel like he was like so at peace with that and he, so that Thursday night he just, he started having trouble breathing and so that like we stayed up all night long and he, he passed away like really early in the morning but he was like trying to talk to me and like tell me stuff, he had like labored breathing and so the nurse was sitting there with us and he like told me something and he like hugged me and I was like you know what is he saying and she was like and I thought that's what he said and the nurse was like

he just said you're my best friend, yeah and I was like I mean I just knew and I mean he passed away like two minutes later and I just like I don't know I just, he was like my little best friend, he was like my sidekick for three years like we were together all the time he was my everything you know I mean I was his caregiver and I always say as a mom like you shouldn't be your kid's best friend, you know you're not supposed to be exactly but it was like this was a different you know situation and so it was like you know that was like so meaningful like for me, now if that were my teenage daughter that would be different right but you know what I mean for the situation we'd been in like

it was just that was like such I don't it now when I look back at it because there's I mean still three years later I mean you know I think about these things every single day and I think about that moment all the time and but I feel like it's like what God gave me to like give me a piece that's for me to even be able to like function normally you know what I mean I think like as a believer my granddaddy passed away and I see you too and he said something similar and I think that they see like where they're going before they pass because my granddaddy said he was going to the party and like I asked him what party he was going to and he was like oh it's where all these people are dancing and like

singing and he basically described heaven yeah and then he passed so I think that they know and I think maybe when they're in that situation and they know what's going to happen that God gives them that piece that they're going to be okay and they're going to a better place than where they are yeah and I think that he wanted me to I think he was more worried about me yeah and and that's like honestly you talking about going to the children's hospital if you ever see a child like on the Aflac floor really in the hospital in general at children's but especially on the cancer floor it's just different and it will like change your life forever and they have a most of them have a part about them that cares more

about you and others than they do about themselves and it's like that sometimes that's harder for me to think about you know what I mean just because I'm like he was more concerned about me than he was about himself and he could hardly breathe but he wanted me to know that you know it's his best friend and that's just how like so many of these children are and that brings me to why I'm so passionate now about childhood cancer awareness month just because you know I don't want to see families continue to go through what we went through so really quickly I just want to ask if you've guys tried beta brand yoga pant dress pants yet and if you haven't tried them yet I don't know what you're waiting for because

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I see on your instagram all the time that you're constantly giving back and I don't know how as a mother that's lost a child to something how you could be so just like giving to other families that are also going through I will be so bitter I feel like but I've also never experienced it so maybe that's like part of it at first yeah and then you go through it and get through it don't think that I don't have my moments where I'm like pissed and angry and I mean grief is like a roller coaster I mean you go through like all the different stages agree but they happen like all the time and it's ongoing and so there are times I mean like really like I'm so ready for September to be over with I mean yes I love bringing

awareness and like doing things but at the same time brings back like oh my gosh like can this be done you know but I guess like for me personally and it's different for everyone again I always say that like everybody's journey is different and everybody handles grief different everybody handles like situations differently but for me when I'm able to like help someone else or like give back it like makes me feel good like I no longer have my son but like if I can like help someone else like in his like glory and memory then it like helps me it's like therapeutic and I mean I just feel like he had such a purpose and like I feel like now it's kind of like my job to like you know keep his purpose like going um but there are times when I'm like

yeah yeah angry yeah I mean there's times when I'm like why like why did this happen like why my child but then you can't really say that because like why not like why should it not I mean it can happen to anybody and nobody's really should be you know like no one's any better than anyone else right from it you know when I think that you know now that I have a child that I guess it's selfish but when I do my visits to children's it's literally like six months it's like a roller coaster and I have I feel such anxiety it's like if he falls and gets a scrape and it doesn't heal in two days I'm like oh my god we like think yeah yeah well and and I mean like that's that that's my problem now I mean that's my issue now because you had two other

kids and every time this might be ignorant too I just don't know much about it so is it genetic well there's they don't because I know you have two more kids right so well since so Lake's um biological father was not in the picture um and so my husband now who I met when Lake was two was pretty much like his dad so the doctors have said because they're not like full like they had different fathers that like the likelihood of like my other two children getting cancer is like very low because do you see what I'm saying like they have genetic makeups different yes but I mean I'm just gonna say it I mean I know a lot of families that have had two children have cancer it does happen and that like terrifies me and even the and these were

by a lot I mean these were like you know biological siblings but I mean it happened to him I mean it could happen to my other kids too and that's the thing the whole genetic thing and that's where like they they don't really know would children's cancer is so different than adult cancers and most of the time you know when an older adult gets cancer you know sometimes all the time yes there's factors like environmental environmental like just different things but with children that's not the case I mean there are children that are born with cancerous tumors so they haven't even been exposed to like anything that we know right and so at this time yeah I mean they feel like it's like something within like a cell like they they feel like that Lake had cancer when he formed in my

womb I mean you know like he had that all the time like the whole time the whole time until you know it until it was manifested yeah and whatever brought it out we don't know um but you know no see that could be where like the environmental factor or something yeah like trigger it essentially yes but there's no and that's why that's why I come on and that's why I talk to people because like childhood cancer is like very underfunded like the National Cancer Institute only gives four percent of their funding to childhood cancer and so which makes no sense to me because like our children are our future of course yeah so like why would you not put a focus not to mention the fact that that childhood cancer instances are increasing like every year and that's what we

don't know and that's why we want to know these things is why is it increasing and to me I do feel like some environmental factors are happening not necessarily that the family is doing something but like where you live right or do you live close to power like you know things like whatever sure yeah yeah um and so those are things that we don't know but it's happening so I feel like the research really needs to be focused on how to treat these children because um the reason why I like really died was because his heart failed and his heart failed because of how much cancer I mean how much chemotherapy he got you see what I'm saying right and so like you'll see some like more targeted immunotherapy is like um in the news a lot recently because it's like a new

way to treat cancer um but it's for adults and so that's what they're trying to now do a lot of research for children to figure out how can we target the cancer in a child's body without ruining the rest of its body with chemo because chemo like destroys pretty much your it destroys the organ and the bad right and so like if you have this targeted therapy it literally just attacks the cancer cells instead of attacking like your heart and like all your important organs um and so now that's sort of like what you know we really try because with the type of cancer he had aml um it's rare for children to get it it's usually an old person's disease which is crazy um and so like there's just it's one of the most um underfunded cancers or they just don't have a lot of like

information on it yeah like if you like you have the bone marrow transplant and after that if that doesn't work they're like well but that's it there's nothing else we can do and like I just don't feel like that's acceptable yeah it's not acceptable especially with like science and how much money that is available if allotted correctly then there's no reason why there shouldn't be more no and I mean it's just I mean like that's like the worst thing that a parent can hear like this is the end of the road like this is your last ditch effort you know and that's why I say like when he was first diagnosed like you know I was like okay we can do this we're gonna like there's a protocol like they tell me what this is what we need to do and we're gonna do it and I was like okay like I

got in like mama bear mode and like you know we did it but then after they relapse and you've done all the things they've told you to do or done all the treatment that you know is there available then it's like oh well that didn't work so you know there's nothing else we can do and so um that's why we started so he had made a little friend in the hospital and she had the same cancer Mary Elizabeth and we also met another family whose daughter was a little bit younger Melissa they both had AML and they both passed away too from the same thing and you know Lake had a long pretty long battle with it three years which is a long time for AML they only lived for you know 18 months to 12 months after diagnosis that's crazy and so we teamed up together and um and I brought them

with me um these are our cards for our fund um and so that's um you can kind of read their story but um all of the money that goes to our fund through CURE goes all to research um yeah so um that's sort of like our passion now is just to try to you know bring awareness raise money for this fund um and we've actually done really big things with it like since we started it we gave over 350,000 dollars to um to a doctor in Seattle who's doing huge huge things for pediatric AML so um you know I just feel like that's the only like nothing can bring lake back but if I can like you know make it easier for another family or make it so another child doesn't have to go through this then like that's that's what I want to do you know let's take a quick break and talk about

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while Lake was going through cancer we had had a plan we were engaged but so we'd had this plan to get married and then he relapsed and we knew he had to have a transplant so we were like we can't get married like you know we don't know how well he's gonna do so I really had just like tossed the idea like out the window I'm like you know we'll get married later but you know when he passed away like he wanted us to get married so badly and he had my last name and he wanted Travis's last name so bad yeah because his other siblings had Travis's last name and it was just like me and him were like the only ones you know but then he knew I was gonna get Travis's last name so he like really wanted it so when he passed away we were like you know like what better way to like honor

him than to like to get married yeah and we knew we did not want to I mean we were both older like it was our first marriage but we were older we'd waited and we just we didn't want to have like a big wedding um so we were literally just gonna have family and I had like ordered a wedding dress online and like I mean I just didn't care I mean during all that I didn't have time to think about a wedding dress I was like whatever it just wasn't like my priorities had changed like your outlook on life changes I was like it doesn't even matter um so I had this dress from online we were gonna get married like out on a farm you know no big deal and so the rally foundation which is another cancer organization here in Atlanta um say yes to the dress had reached out to them and said do

y'all know any you know moms of like kids that have cancer that like you know are getting married and they gave them my name and so I did not know but I guess um they got in well they they called me and I did like this like Skype interview with them and just telling them my story and they're like oh we'll get back to you I'll like never heard back from them but I'd given them all my mom's info so they got with my mom kind of behind my back and so they showed up at my mom's house two days before my wedding um my parents live in Athens Georgia which is like right south right outside of Atlanta go dogs yes go dogs and so we um I came we were getting married on a Friday evening and I came into town on Wednesday just to start you know getting ready for a wedding and

they were at my house and they surprised me so Laurie and Monty had set my mom's like living room up as like a bridal booty booty with all these dresses and I like you know tried on dresses and um they were so sweet they're like pick out any dress you want everything they gave me everything veil dress jewelry um yeah and so I got my wedding dress two days before my wedding so um it was I mean honestly it was so sweet and I I feel like it was another like lake totally did that number one because he knows I hate to be on TV and being filmed because he would always like try to film me with his iPad and you know whatnot I was like stop filming me um so I know he thought that was funny that I ended up on TV like my like biggest fear to be on TV because

y'all I went to my mom's house and had on like no makeup oh of course your hair wasn't done my hair had not been washed in like three days no makeup I looked like seriously a hot mess and I was like y'all can I put on makeup they're like no because we've already started filming yeah so they wouldn't let me do anything but um anyway so but also I you know of course I was super excited to be getting married but I mean a part of me was like super sad because he wasn't there and I feel like you know because they came and you know not just because I got some beautiful gown but just the whole thing of it it was like so special and it you felt like he was like a part yes it like made the day better um and I'll show y'all when we get done but I don't know you've seen some of

my wedding pictures but um so it was out I told Kale about yeah so it was out in this field but there was an orb that followed me around in every single picture stop yeah so I got home that Friday night um after the wedding and the photographer started like sending me she's like Anna she's like this is crazy she's like you every single picture oh wow and he moved from like over here one time he was like right up my heart like he was just like all over the pictures and so like I don't know I just feel like that whole thing was just and she photoshopped him and yes and so then she took one picture of us like me and my husband and my two kids and put him in the picture like you know um and that photo like went viral that was kind of crazy I never thought

that that would have been and that was a little crazy but um I mean it was just such a special sweet picture and not that it had never been done before but I think just like I guess people knew my story you know saw my story and how it was shared and um just like really connected with it or whatever and so um and she's like so many people I feel kind of bad for her she got like inundated with people that were like oh I want you to do a picture like that for me and it's kind of I think it's like hard to do oh I'm sure yeah to make it look like I mean because it looks the picture so good yeah I mean I think you could probably do it and it might not like look as well but like hers looked so good and so um that was just really neat and I just those are like the

ways where I feel like he's like shown up oh yeah and so many like so many things all right guys let's take a quick minute to talk about how you can get super lush skin and any guesses you guys know it that is bio clarity bio clarity helps fights break out soothe skin minimize redness it reduces pore size and even skin tone that's something that I've definitely benefited from you guys can get results with garden lush ingredients and as little as two weeks you know it bio clarity is delivered straight to you and it's an easy to use three step skincare routine that's 100 vegan plus gluten and cruelty free bio clarity is a complete skincare with two different daily routines I use the clear skin routine because you guys know

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like a boy mom too and I'm like what do I do like what do I do yeah she definitely runs the show but she was like's baby I mean he was like obsessed with her he called her baby girl and um he just left her but you know they've honestly they're probably the only reason that I'm sitting here and functioning because if I didn't have them I don't know I probably yeah I think things might have like been a lot worse taken a different turn yes um and you know I that's what it's heartbreaking for me is I see other parents that have lost their only child or and and they're like teens so it's and not that a child could ever replace it I mean like they're not going to have any more kids do you know what I mean like yeah this was their only child and like not that it

makes it any better that they lost that child because they have others that replace it right but it's just the feeling of that's their only child and now they're not they don't have anything to keep them going essentially my kids keep me going of course you're still you know I just cannot fathom right I cannot fathom if like I didn't have those other two kids and the loss like the way we did yeah like what would and I mean I love Travis to death but it's it's just a different image it's a different love it's a different yeah of course I still had to like care for them and be there for them because when when he passed away they were still little I mean Cambry wasn't even two years old yet so I mean I really had to be you know in it um and so they seriously have been

like my saving grace and they've they've really done amazing I you know I really try to like be super open about lakes like I mean there's pictures of him all over our house we look at pictures all the time we look at videos like I want them to remember him because like I know she really can't remember him so like I really like show a lot of videos and I just want her to know like how much he like truly loved her yeah and and turned into like he loved trying to and that was his brother you know and so like and trending remembers a little bit more um and he talks about him you know sometimes you know he makes comments like I really miss my brother or we would be doing this together and um and so you know I hurt for them too you know and that's part of like when you lose

a child like it's not just you it's like your kids like they've lost their sibling and a lot of times I think people don't really think about that I could get overlooked a little yeah well and I think too like I feel like we weren't put here on this earth to bury our kids you know like so hard it's very natural yeah it's very unnatural yeah to have to bury a child so I mean I mean I can't even honestly imagine what that would feel like um I'm paranoid about it just because of children's and the more you read about childhood cancer and how um much more prevalent yeah it's like more common and it's rare you know like I knew this family that the child could not get over a cold and kept developing you know it would get over it for a day and then

wake up the next day and you know have this horrible cold and fever it was cancer yeah and that's like yeah pretty much what happened to us too and it's like that's not that should not be I feel like we're as moms um like we're not trained but we know what signs to look for when our kids get sick right so we know okay if they have a fever you know maybe they're teething or maybe they have like a virus but you never think no oh it's cancer that's like the last there's no signs I feel like because they're it's they vary and they're so different and that's the last thing that I think that anyone would think well that's what I tell people all the time when I'm like you know trying to like bring awareness I'm like you know don't be me like I was that

person that like would see the st. Jude commercial and be like oh that's really sad but like I don't know anybody who has cancer like like what could I really do to help them I mean do you know what I mean like I just um I was like that'll never happen you know like that's so rare I mean no see I'm the opposite than that then because you I hear it on kicks or the bull or you know whatever and um which are radio stations in Atlanta for those of you who don't know um when I hear it I change the channel because I'm paranoid right it's anxiety it makes me feel you know when I get um the letters and the mail from st. Jude makes me feel like it's like a bad omen like okay why am I getting this to my house you know like I just I don't know like I'm overly paranoid because the more

you read about stuff and when you've been around these kids you're like please god and I pray like every single day I wait until Jackson goes to sleep and I go and pray over him and I say please keep him happy safe but mostly healthy right you know because you just you don't know yeah you don't know but at least I mean you are like aware because like I like I said I mean I was just so like I'm with you like it's just kind of like I don't know that that would happen to me yes I never but yeah but now I'm like no I'm like you but I mean I just before I just didn't really know like anything anything about it and that was not all my radar when all this stuff was going on with lake and I mean I never even imagined like cancer didn't even like enter my thoughts like and when he told me

that like when the pediatrician said that he was like he's like I'm sorry to tell you this but lake has cancer like he has leukemia and I was like what I mean I just hear you call it yeah like I couldn't even like cry at the moment like I was like because you were in shock yeah I was like are you serious I was like what do you mean like what do you mean and he's like no I'm serious and it's very serious like you need to go to the hospital right now and then I was like but I mean all the pieces yes but now I mean I'm more like you and you know I do I have that anxiety all the time I mean I try not to think about it but I mean we already have so much like mom anxiety without cancer it's like this just added to it is like it's so much and that's why you know I went and I say that too

when I share stuff on my Facebook and it's I'm like this is not to add to like your mommy anxiety and stuff it should just so that you know and and I told you this too like you have to be your child's advocate yeah like if there's ever a time that you feel like that runny nose keeps coming back or you know that that random fever keeps coming like ask for the blood work like be that you know advocate for your child yes like you have to be because even some pediatricians it's like not on their radar because it just doesn't like happen enough and so that's not the first thing they think of and you can't blame them for that but like you have to advocate for your child and not just with cancer no with everything yeah and like within any kind of other illness or anything like

you have to be that person because they don't have a voice and my pediatrician has basically told me to chill out because you ask for everything well yeah because I I do ask for everything and I want to know everything you know it's like when I go to routine you know doctor's appointments for the year I'm like okay what percentage is he falling in it's his head too small like is you know I ask for everything if he gets a rash I'm like do I really use the antibiotic ointment or try to like let it heal itself and then test it again do I send it to the lab yeah do I send it to the lab like what yeah so I don't know I think that just going to children's I've always been bad with anxiety but going to children's even more so and I keep going yeah more aware

but then yet I keep going because I know that there's kids there that yeah right in their day yeah and yeah I mean just to like go back to that like you just you really don't understand like what that does I mean he he wore that love your melon hat and it was like way too big for him but he like wore that thing around the house and like everywhere for so long and he talked about y'all and looked at the picture and just was so about it and I mean you just I don't know like the littlest things for them like for these kids in the hospital like bright and they're I'm like the tiniest thing that you would never think it like makes their day just because they're so stuck you know they don't get to do the crazy thing is though as you would think

within having to have so much help and having to be dependent on physicians and their parents and family you would think that it would make them regress and be more baby like but they're very advanced yeah I when you said that it was like okay that can make that makes sense because they're around doctors and nurses so they have yeah but you would think they hear a lot of right and so they learn yeah right and and I don't know I feel like it just like makes them like wiser like beyond their years and it just I don't know it just does something that makes them just yeah because when I've visited it's like I don't know and sometimes I feel like some of the kids are like hard to the world you know sometimes it's hard especially like the teenagers oh yes yes yes

it's very hard to talk to them like I tend to gravitate towards the babies and the little kids because you can tell the teenagers are just angry rightfully so I feel like yes I say that all the time I'm like I think all the time I'm like I feel like so blessed like with Lake's age just because he was like you know younger and he was like kind of naive to stuff because yes teens they are you know well first of all most of them are going to lose their hair and you know how like traumatic that is for an adult can you imagine as a teen they're missing out on stuff they're not having a normal life like they're way more aware yes they know like they're aware of like death I mean like when when Lake found out he had cancer I mean he was like what's camp I mean like death was not in

his head but if you tell a teen that they that's what they equate cancer with is dying and an old person and like so I mean yes like I feel like a lot of times you know people overlook you know like certain cases because you know they don't but but I'm with you and there's there's a lot of nurses too that you know only some gravitate towards the teens but others like can't handle it like they because it's a lot yeah it's so hard like emotionally um for them so I understand I mean I totally get that you can tell like when um you know I had set up the visit and invited my family to go with me because one I didn't want to go by myself and two I just felt like it was a good experience for everybody to go and kind of see you know it opens up your eyes to the real world and like

things that are going on in parents are having to deal with and you know grandparents and families and I when we went into the room to like color with the kids and stuff my siblings gravitated more towards the teenagers and I think maybe because they could relate age wise maybe it was like easier for them and then the little kids were all over me so you know it's like different I don't know it was very hard very hard to connect with them so I wish there was like a better way to have help you know for like the older ones because I feel like sometimes I know with my visit would be easier to overlook because they act like they don't want to talk to you you know so yeah are there specific people that you know like come and talk to just the teenagers

or oh well um they do try to do things you know at at Eggleston there's that voice you know and so a lot of celebrities like you know come there I didn't even there actually did you okay so you know I mean I think a lot of times the teens gravitate towards stuff like that um and they do and a lot I will say this um a lot of times nurses if they know like certain people are coming up and they know a child like really loves football and like a football player is coming you know like a teen they know oh he loves the Falcons like they're coming right you know they'll they'll make sure that they see those people right you see what I'm saying um and and then you know I with the little kids like they just everybody just kind of goes around there a lot of times the little kids are

just more like open they just want to play yeah a lot of times the teens you know they're sleeping or they're just like not up for like talking you know where it's just harder um they're like more emotional because they've already gone through puberty and stuff you know a lot or going through so it's it's different but yeah um I did an event at Eggleston um they had like the mini put put and stuff and the basketball courts and um it was like set up like a little fair and the kids got to come down and that was fun to be able to play games with them yeah that's why it's really fun yeah they do a carnival out in the garden yeah sometimes and yeah I mean they actually they're I mean they're really amazing like if you have to take your child anywhere um and especially

if you're having to kind of live there like I feel like Children's is like the place to be like after like passed away sometimes I'll like miss the hospital because that was your home yeah I'd be like mom that's so weird like why do I miss the hospital and she's like well one is because you were with Lake but two it's just like I mean that was like where I was familiar and I mean it's taken me I mean I'm and I'm like still working on it but like I was really lost after he passed away like that was like what I did for three years was like be his caregiver and I was at I was like what do I do with my life yeah to refine your purpose yeah I was like I mean I have two other kids I know that but like I had two other kids and I took care of him right so they were already

a part of it so now it's like now like you know what do I do like what do I do with myself and I mean I'm still like working on that but um I think doing you know doing the things that I'm trying to do I mean I think that that's part of it I mean I'm still trying to figure out you know what you know what my life is going to look like but I don't know well thank you so much for coming on we appreciate having you on for anybody who wants to um follow Anna's story we had a prayer page for Lake which was like so huge for us I mean it was so helpful and I kept up with it like even after he passed away but then it just like got to be it just got to be a lot like for me I mean I had a personal Facebook page and y'all before Lake was diagnosed I had no social media at all

and everybody's like you need to get to be able to keep people updated like you've got to get a page and so I made him a prayer page and then I eventually caved and got my own Facebook page but um so I really don't keep up with that anymore but we have a united for a cure page okay and so that is our fund through cure like I was talking about earlier and so it's called united for a cure the Mary Elizabeth Melissa Lake fund and we actually have a Facebook page on there and we share things that we're doing if you're local um we share things you know events and stuff that we're doing and ways you can give back or you know donate or whatever um and then I do have an Instagram account but it's private sorry guys I know I know united for a cure is probably the

best one anyways all right guys well that is all that we have time for today and if you guys have any questions you can send us a direct message on um at coffee combos podcast and we can get the questions over to Anna since her Instagram is private um we hope you guys enjoyed the episode and we will be back next week all right see you thank you guys this podcast is brought to you by wave podcast network check out all of our shows including the brain candy podcast I don't get it babes and babies coffee combos and let's talk about it