Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 50: Special Guest Susie Meister, Disney World, Bullies and Tough Love!

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

This week, in Kail's absence, Lindsie catches up with guest host, Susie Meister; Coffee Convos producer, Religious Studies PhD, Recovering MTV Reality Star, and host of The Brain Candy Podcast! The couple have fun discussing Lindsie's personality, noting that Lindise is not like your average TV personality. Lindsie shares a story about Jackson receiving a Game Medal for his soccer skills. In contrast, Susie's son doesn't even know about organized sports! They go on to talk about Disney World, and why Lindsie is so optimistic about it being the happiest place on earth! They both wonder, like we all do, whether people are stealing things out of unattended strollers in the park? They talk about bullying incidents at school, and give great insight from a parents perspective. Is it true that your meanest friend is the one that wants what's best for you? They talk about volunteering at school, field trips, and also what it's like being a helicopter parent, rounding things off with a fun and relatable Q&A! 

Hey guys, welcome to Coffee Combos. I know this is a little different this week because Kale is actually out with Strepthroat and she is attending a funeral this week, so I'm going to be praying for her, but I have a special guest, Susie, from Brain Candy Podcast, and she is going to be co-hosting me this week, so welcome Susie. Thanks for having me. I mean, I feel bad that Kale's missing, but not that much because I get to be with you. I know. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. I do feel like you're going to be okay though. You guys are like two peas in a pod over here. I know. Honestly, I was devastated. It would probably be the word because everybody knows

that listens to the podcast that I'm so used to routine and I don't like anything out of routine, so it's a little weird, but it'll be fun. It'll be a refreshing conversation. Well, you'll have to walk me through it because I know you guys have such a rapport. I feel like from what I know that it's a bit of an odd couple's scenario where you're so organized and Kale is always flying by the seat of her pants. I love both of those components, but maybe I'm somewhere in the middle. Yes. I definitely think you're somewhere in the middle of the personalities, but I think you lean closer on my side of personality. Well, we'll have to make it work. Maybe I'll purposefully disagree with you just to try

to fit in with Kale's prototype. Is that your personality, Susie, that you just conform to fit in because that's definitely not me or Kale? No way. I feel like, well, because I was on reality TV as well, so I think none of us are well-behaved people in some respect. Right? Don't you agree? You have to not be behaved to be on reality TV. I feel like the whole genre is predicated on people being naughty. Exactly. Actually, condoning bad behavior. I feel like you're the only one that's well-behaved and cares about paying your bills on time and showing up for appointments. Do you feel like that?

Yes, but I feel like that's normal. I feel like that is being an adult. Yeah, but within that community, I think you're a rarity, so I commend you. Gosh, well, thank you, Susie. That makes me feel better about myself. I know you're probably feeling lost without Kale, but I'll do my best to go with the flow, so you have to teach me how do you guys like to kick it off? Well, we normally just talk about random stuff. We talk about our kids. Oh, I do have a little story. My Jackson, he's playing soccer this season, and he got the game medal for the week, and he was so thrilled, so thrilled. What does that signify that he's the best player?

Well, I tell him that that's not what it signifies, because I don't want him to think that. But yes, it's like the player, I guess, who shows the most teamwork, the most leadership, and a different player gets it every week. They don't give it to the same player, so Jackson just really shined this week, so he got it, and it's funny, because he was the last kid to get it in baseball, because his dad's the coach, so Will gave it to him last, I guess, because it's his kid, and Jackson waited around all season for it, baseball season to get it, and he finally got it, and he wasn't really excited, because it's like, oh, wow, I'm the last person, I'm a loser. But now he's been redeemed. Yes, he's redeemed. I'm like, we're not even halfway

through the season, and like, my child is a winner, like, I'm thrilled. Wait a minute, here's what I need to know, like, are you super sporty? Were you one of those people that was in athletics all your life? So, no, I did cross country, and I pretty much ran my whole life, and I don't really run that much anymore, which is weird, maybe I like ran myself out of it, and then cheerleading for a few seasons, but then other than that, I didn't really play sports, like, in PE and stuff, I always liked to scrimmage and play basketball, but my parents would have never allowed that, because I guess sports are for boys or something. For real? I mean, my peers didn't say that, but I would have just never asked them to play basketball, like, if I wanted to,

I would have never asked. Oh, wow, okay. All right, so you stuck to like the answer. Right, all right, so you went like gender neutral or cheerleading, right? Yes. Okay. Yes, that was just it. So, I mean, I wasn't really super athletic, but then my husband played baseball his whole life, and also, you know, played basketball, like rec ball, and whatever, so he's always been athletic, and then Jackson does not like baseball at all, which has been such a huge struggle, and loves soccer, which has also been a huge struggle, because my husband was like, he's not playing soccer. He's not playing soccer, but I'm all I'm all for, I guess, because he played baseball for his whole life, and I'm like, okay, you need

to realize this isn't your dream. This is his dream and what he wants to do. And if he's happy and thrilled to play soccer, then I am thrilled for him and more power to you, baby, like get out there and kick the ball. Like, that's fine. I'm cool with it. I'm glad my kid doesn't seem to have any dreams, because I don't have to be doing any of these team sports or anything, because like, they really occupy a lot of your time. A lot of your time. I was just actually talking about this. I did a thing on my Instagram where you can, you know, ask questions, and what do people do with their kids on the weekends? Because I feel like by the time Friday rolls around and the weekend starts, it's soccer, baseball, you know, which, whichever one is in season at the time. And then

it's, you know, you have time for maybe an activity in the evening on Saturday. And then on Sunday, we have church grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning the house and bed. I mean, you got to sleep somewhere. I'm for real. I'm tired just hearing your schedule. This sounds terrible. But like, what do you do? Because you have a five year old too. So I mean, we just spend time as a family. He's just not in any activities yet, except like swimming lessons. But for now, I'm okay with that. If he asked, he could sign up. He just has an expressed interest and I'm fine with that. Okay. So he doesn't, I mean, do you think it's because he's an only child and like he doesn't know about it or? Yeah, we're like sheltering from this information that he could be having fun

without us. Yes, you're, you're basically depriving your child from having fun activities and being able to participate with team members. Like that's horrible, Susie. That's horrible. Right. Now I'm going to be downgraded from number one mom to like 37th mom. 37. I love it. And I don't know. I honestly do not know how Kale manages to juggle three kids. Like Lux isn't in activities yet because he's too little, but she's got, you know, the other two boys that they kind of do the same activities. I think Isaac doesn't play soccer or baseball anymore. I think he just does. I can't say that word. Jiu Jitsu. Oh yeah. I just say it so slow. Yeah. And then she's busy. Yeah. I'm just like, what? Like Jiu Jitsu, like what even? I don't even know. You know how she always talks

about the idea of Kale and the chaos and she jokes about how, you know, her life is kind of chaotic and I think she thrives in that environment. Whereas I do not. I'm more like you. I need a routine. I like a schedule. I don't know how she manages. It would drive me bonkers. I'm like, no, that does not work. Like I cannot just work off of dysfunction. It's like I need to be embedded 10 o'clock. I need to be up by seven. I need to get my dinner going. I need to, you know, do my business affairs, get my child to school. Like there is a protocol and that's just what's going to happen. And Kale is just like, she probably wakes up and she's like, oh man, I don't know what we're doing for breakfast. I don't know what we're doing. It's like,

and she manages. Yeah. I just can't do it. I noticed there are people in this world that that almost is preferred for them and that that makes them thrive and they love the adrenaline of it. Like how, like wherever the wind takes them, they make it work. Yeah, that's Kale. I don't have that. Like she said that she actually prefers the dysfunction. I guess, you know, if you grew up in that, like if you grew up in that type of environment, maybe it's familiar and it feels comfortable, that must be it, right? I'm thinking so. But I mean, I grew up with crazy, but not, it was like organized, crazy. Yeah, it was like organized, crazy. So, so I don't really, I don't get it. Okay, so wait, I want to know what the scoop is with,

I remember listening to your show a while ago and you and Kale, we're talking about how since you guys are into true crime and all that jazz and like stuff in the news about murderers and stuff. Did you guys ever end up doing your hunter killer, like search or whatever? Yeah, so Kale ordered it and then I told her like, you better not open it before I get involved because I love a good mystery and she actually has never brought it to Atlanta. So we still haven't been able to do it, but I think about it all the time and I've heard it's kind of spooky. And so I really like that too, because I like to be scared. Well, and it's like the perfect time of year to get creeped out. Yes, it is. And like, I hear it's sweeping the nation and I feel

like you're going to crack the case in like two seconds though, because that's your personality. Yes. And I'm so anal about like details. So I really like that part. Well, here's the thing, I feel like once Kale's back on the mend, then you guys need to crack the case. So what's the scoop in terms of like, how does it work? And then like, what's the deal for people? Okay, so here's how it works. We are two of over 60,000 people who have joined this really cool online community called Hanna Killer. And it's a monthly subscription box where you can become a detective. Ooh, we immerse in murder mystery. And it's just so awesome. So right now, if you guys would like to try it, just for our awesome listeners, you can go to hannakiller.com

slash coffee for 10% off your first box. And they only accept 200 members per day. So hurry and take advantage of this offer. That's hannakiller.com slash coffee for 10% off of your first box hunt a killer.com slash coffee. Let's see if you have what it takes to get into the mind of a serial killer and solve the mystery. Love it. Um, but anyhow, on a completely different note, have y'all done Disney yet? I guess y'all have Disneyland. We did. Yeah, we did Disneyland. And we have done Disney World too, because my family, I have family members that work there. Oh, wow. Yeah, my knee Stalia works at the Bippity Boppity Boutique. Don't be jealous. Oh my gosh, that in the Hollywood studios? I don't even know. But it's like where they

do makeovers for little girls. I cannot. Yeah. Okay, I'm glad that I don't work there because I don't even know what I would do if I had a little girl like I like Disney. No, I do like it. And I went every year as a kid. But I feel like as an adult, the pressure of Disney is so high. Like, yeah, I feel so stressed out because I want to do all of it. And I don't want him to miss out on anything. And we went the same time last year at thanks the week of Thanksgiving. And I'm planning another trip to go back for the week of Thanksgiving. And we had such a great time last year, but they didn't have the new Toy Story land yet. And now Jackson has really gotten behind Incredibles. And for frequent listeners on the podcast, I talk about the Incredibles all the time,

because I have to hear about them all the time. And that's why I talk about them all the time. And we have everything that probably has ever been made by Incredibles. And I challenge any mom out there that we have more incredible stuff. Because that's hilarious. Like so much incredible stuff. And he wants to see the Incredibles in person so bad. And I'm like, okay, does he love about it? Well, I think because it's kind of like a superhero movie, but it's juvenile. And it's relatable to real life because there's a baby in it. So I think that it's like a family. And he really just likes the story. And he loves all of the characters like loves them all. It's the first thing he was super into Toy Story last year, this time. And then now this year, it's

Incredibles. He still loves, you know, all the things that he has had of infatuation with, but the Incredibles is like an all time high. He just is obsessed. Are you into it? Like, do you enjoy watching it? I mean, I don't really get into it. You know, I'm just like, just checking. No, I'm into it because he's into it. But no, it wouldn't be something that I would really get behind. And I mean, it took them, I want to say like 11 or 13 years or something between the time that they made the first Incredibles movie until the second Incredibles movie. And he's waiting for three to come out. And I'm like, okay, the timeframe might be 90 before it comes out. I'm not sure college, right? So I'm like trying to plan that this week. And it's, you know,

to be a super planner, it's a lot of work. So I'm trying to do it all and like find the right place to stay. And there's a few things that I would have, like, there's a few things that I would have done differently last year, as far as like my itinerary, because I had printed out and laminated itineraries for like every day of Disney. Did you just say laminated? I really did. I laminated everything because I was like, Oh, if we go on a water ride, it'll probably like screw up my itinerary. No, no, no, no. That's the best. I did. That's real. I'm like, this is ridiculous. But there are a few things that I would have done differently. So the people who have sent me messages asking for my Disney itinerary, I'll make sure that I post it for you guys to be able to use. But I'm

going to post a better one for our second time at Disney as parents, because it will be even better than the first. And I'll keep you guys updated on if we get to see the Incredibles, because Jackson will be stalking them throughout the park. Right. I mean, you have to, because if you left without seeing those people, that would be a traumatic experience for him. Yes. So I can't deal with devastation. You realize that I have the number written down for the Disney concierge so I can call and make sure I know what park they're going to be at, because this is not an option. So like they can tell you like Goofy will be at this place at this time or how's that work? Okay. Yes. And you're going to go where no matter what, like even if it's like Epcot in Belgium,

you're going to go there. Yes. I'm going to go there. Would you not go there? I mean, that's a lot of work. Susie, like what kind of life do you guys live? Like, can I be Susie for one day? Why? What are you saying? Because I want to know like what you guys do. Like your son doesn't know about organized sports. You probably wouldn't take him to see his favorite character if you were like within the theme park. No, I'm being facetious because last weekend we went to Legoland, which is in San Diego. And that was totally just because he's, you know, totally really into Lego. And it was a really great experience because it's similar to Disney and of course that it's thematic and there's rides and things like that. But it's like

a lot more chilled out. And there's not as many people and there's not like the stroller parking lots and stuff. And so that is a lot more manageable for me. And I think enjoyable for the whole family. Well, I do think that that sounds more enjoyable, but I was part of the stroller parking lot last year. My husband kept saying, we're not bringing a stroller to Disney. And I was like, you bet your ass we are like, I'm not dealing with somebody crying. Yeah, it's necessary, but there are just so many. And as far as the eye can see are strollers. Oh my, yes, I know, trust me. And then if you park it in the wrong place, then it's like the cops come. Well, I read, did you read about that article where somebody's stroller got stolen? And which I'm surprised

doesn't happen more often, frankly, because they're right there and you can just take them. But the stroller had the kids like medication, insulin or something. So it was like a real emergency. Oh my God. Oh my gosh, don't leave it in the stroller, man. Well, yeah, I mean, wouldn't you think that that would be like in a fanny pack, like not in the stroller? A fanny pack. You know, I love a good fanny pack. Don't get me started. Yes. Trust me, I have been, I'm going to be way more prepared this time. I have been researching like Disney throwback fanny packs. Like, trust me, I'm getting way into it. I mean, I support that. This is something I can get on board with. You should be putting this all in your instance story. Am I missing this?

You didn't know because I haven't posted about it, but listen. Okay. So the thing about the strollers, I thought about thieves, like when I parked my stroller, I was like, you know what, there's probably going to be somebody that's stealing stuff out of this. But then I was like, you know what, this is the happiest place on earth. Like nobody would do that here. So I just left like a thousand dollar camera in the bottom of it and like hoped for the best. And what would I have done if I would have walked back and like saw somebody like stealing my shit? Well, you should tell me what would you have done? You would have been like, I sure wish I would have gotten jujitsu lessons. Yeah, exactly. I would have been like, excuse me, can you please

not steal my shit that I paid for? Like so rude. Is your theory that because it's the quote, happiest place on earth that people behave better? Yes, that is my theory. That's optimistic. Because I feel like it's like you're in an environment to be happy, right? Like how can you be mad or angry at Disney World or like want to be a thief? So I just feel like you should trust people more. But that's probably a complete like fake out. Like that's probably not even real. Like I've just made that up. You might be right though, because I don't hear a lot of incidents happening there. But also have you heard that Disney has like the highest security of like anywhere and that they have something called like face recognition, but they have cameras like all over their park.

And if they suspect like anything that they know about it like immediately, because they have so many cameras like all over the place that if they see like a suspicious person or whatever that they're immediately notified like the security there is super high. Whoa. So it's like the happiest and creepiest place on earth. True. I mean, because that's a small world. Right. It is a small world. Right. And I mean, I guess they have to do it that way. But my brother works there and he was saying how they basically are their own city, you know, even though it's Disney world. Yes. And so they can have their own, you know, fire, a company, like whatever they want, they can have their own as if they're a city, which is crazy to me. It's very crazy to me. And it's like borderline

creepy, but borderline cool. Right. You clearly embraced it. I can't wait to see how it goes. My God, pressure's on. I'll make sure I update everybody. Trust me. So let's take a break to do some truth telling, shall we? The truth is that most of us are brushing our teeth wrong, not long enough and forget to change our brush head on time. And that's because most brands focus on selling flashy gimmicks rather than better brushes, but not quip. I am so into quip. I cannot wait. Like I feel like excited that we're about to tell them about my favorite thing in the whole world. Same. And let me just tell you that when I got my toothbrush, we'll stole it and started using it. And it's like really dude, that belongs to me, but whatever.

So I had to get a different one. So for starters, quip is an electric toothbrush that is a fraction of the cost of the bulkier brushes, while still packing just the right amount of vibrations to help clean your teeth. Quix built-in timer helps you clean for the dentist recommended two minutes with guiding pulses that remind you when to switch sides. I mean, here's the thing. It looks super cute too because it mounts to your mirror and it looks very sleek and not gross like everybody else's toothbrush. And they have free shipping worldwide. And I just love that like the thing that mounts on your mirror that you can, you know, put up there and it sits. Then when you're traveling, you pop that thing right off and you can travel with it. Super easy. And everyone loves quip.

This goes without saying it was on Oprah's O list. What more do you want people? So go ahead. You tell them. Tell them how to get the dang thing. Just so you know, I always forget. So I love quip because they deliver brush heads on the dentist recommended schedule every three months for just $5. And I don't miss the money. So I just love it. So if you guys want to get a quip toothbrush, it starts at just $25. And if you go to get quip.com slash coffee, right now you'll get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack for free at get quip.com slash coffee spelled G E T Q U I P dot com slash coffee. Now let's get back to the show. I wanted to ask you if your kid has

experienced bullying yet? Bullying? Okay. So actually, yes. There was a child in his pre K class that was pretty much a bully to the whole class. It just depended on what day she wanted to bully like who she wanted to bully. Yes, a girl. And she was just as far as her demeanor and just how she was as a child. She was way far advanced. You could tell that she either was around adults, around inappropriate times, or she was around older children and kind of like picked up on things that maybe she shouldn't have been exposed around and yes. And so some of that kind of came out like normal four year olds don't really care about what another person's wearing. Yeah, let alone like let alone what somebody else is wearing not even themselves but like somebody else like

normal four year olds don't think about that kind of stuff like Jackson just kind of got into the fact of trying to dress himself and putting red on red and we've talked about that in previous podcasts but that's a whole nother topic. But yes, she was was bullying Jackson on two different occasions but it didn't make me feel quite as bad because she had done it to other children too so it wasn't like she was just singling him out called them stupid him and some friends stupid and that they didn't know how to do stuff and they had a farm day at his school where they can dress up like a cowboy or cowgirl or you know whatever. And I told Jackson I was like every year there is a million cowboys and cowgirls nobody ever thinks outside of the box I'm like think outside of the

box and be something else. So he was like I'm gonna be I want to be a cow so of course I go on Amazon I find a cow costume I'm like 20 bucks sold done and he gets it goes to school he's dressed up and I walk him in get him in the line and everybody like I said was dressed up as a cowboy and cowgirl girl and then here you have Jackson coming in as a cow so this little girl points and laughs and she's like Jackson's dressed up as a cow and I don't think she meant it like in a mean way but he took it that way because of things that she had done and said before that his like emotions were already high when it came to her so he took it as she was making fun of him but then thank God his friend one of his good friends from his class last year came in and his mom had bought

him the same costume off of Amazon so I was like thank you God. Oh wow. But yeah and so I actually talked to the school about it and they have in their teacher handbook like the curriculum and stuff that they teach to the teachers as part is like the pre-planning for school about bullying and it's in the curriculum for the teachers for preschool so I'm like obviously it's happening other places for them to have added it to their teacher handbook. Yeah well you really set him up though you made him wear the outfit that was a dud. Totally and then I'm like really like I failed but everybody looked so cute but I'm like did I really though because my child stands out and all of you other people look exactly the same so you're right. You did the right thing. You know

have you experienced it with Lincoln yet? Yeah this year he had these older kids that would come over to him and he has a very distinct voice it sounds like he has sucked in helium a little bit like kind of high pitched and it's like cute to us of course but that's what would make him different I suppose to another kid and so they would like right want him to talk and laugh about it and but then they started smashing his chips at lunch and that's when it was like oh no like this isn't just playful or sort of run of the mill and so but they they dealt with it so fast but the funny part was that the the perpetrators had to write letters of apology and they were like I'm sorry I scared you and smashed your chips love whoever I was like oh my god this is awesome because they

were clearly writing them because they were forced to but it was still a sweet gesture all the same but I was literally crying as a parent because just coming from like a reality tv background and having you know followers on instagram and twitter and facebook or you know whatever um and you get bullied on social media as an adult it's like you can you know you can never get anything right it's like somebody's gonna find something wrong with it you know it's like damn I wore my pants too high or like my shoelaces weren't tied right yeah so I was already super sensitive to bullying anyway that it literally broke my heart because I saw it firsthand like I saw it with my own eyes so you know there was no question about what happened there was teachers that witnessed the incident

and it was funny to see too an older teacher and a younger teacher have two totally different perspectives on it because the older teacher yes was like totally bullying incident totally not appropriate totally should be reprimanded for it and then the younger teacher was like kids are kids you know so you've got it's like how how is that even possible so you know I don't know I cried about it because basically because I'm weak to be perfectly honest but um you know and I'm just a sensitive person when it comes to stuff like that yeah but I know how the world can be because of social media you know and how people are keyboard cowboys and like hide behind the keyboard because they're so tough and then to see it you know firsthand and I've you know used that

as an opportunity as a teaching opportunity as a parent to tell Jackson that you know no matter what somebody's wearing or you know if somebody is different or whatever you don't make fun of people and you don't talk bad about people like what they're doing is not your business you need to mind your own business stay in your own lane and not make fun of people like that is not allowed in our household we do not do stuff like that because I mean they need to know I really thought though when you said that the two teachers had different approaches I thought you were going to say it was the opposite like the older lady would have said oh kids are kids and the younger lady would have the like zero tolerance policy agreed because the you know generational gap I got you know like

the difference in the generations you would have thought that because totally my grandmother would be like oh kids are kids you know um but but yeah it was interesting but just to see just taking the age out of it just to see you know two teachers that witnessed the same incident and took it two totally different ways was interesting to me wow well I mean this is kind of like on the same topic but did you see that article that was about how your meanest friend is the one that wants what's once what's best for you did you see that I didn't but I've heard that for forever do you believe that yes I do because I feel like your meanest friend is going to tell you the truth and that's probably why you think they're mean yeah right like tough love right yeah and I love tough love like I hate

it but I love it what do you mean you know like I feel like it sucks when you're on like the it sucks like if you're on the delivering end or the receiving end because when you have to tell somebody something that you know that you're not gonna like yeah that's a hard thing to do to be like oh you are doing life totally wrong like obviously I'm not gonna say that to somebody but I'm just saying as an example and then being on the receiving end of somebody telling you oh you're doing life totally wrong that sucks too so like it's not a win situation but I feel like it's a good thing I feel like I respect that person so much more when I realize oh you know they kind of open my eyes to what I wasn't seeing and it made me make that shift that I needed to make and I probably wouldn't

have done it had they not said it to me yeah I see what you're saying because it doesn't feel good in the moment but you do tend to learn from it if you take it on board correct but I feel like some people can't take I say if it's constructive criticism and it's in the best interest of you know they have your best interest then I like lay it on me like please but if you don't have my best interest and you're trying to criticize something just to be a bitch then you know like I really don't have time for you so please continue on right yeah I guess you know how they say like you got to be cruel to be kind I guess it's true sometimes yeah do you feel like the same way or do you feel different about it I definitely know that the people that I love the most I am the hardest

on so I can definitely see why this would be true but I never thought about it with regards to like someone being mean to me whether that was like out of love or not because man I also feel like would that people who are going to invest the time to argue with you about something or bring something up that's a hard topic then they're invested in you versus somebody who's just gonna be like oh yeah everything's fine it's hunky dory like nobody cares um I feel like those people are just kind of in your life out of your life they couldn't do last which way the wind blows you know it's everything's good everything's great you know I mean I don't know their friend kind of thing yes yeah I get what you're saying that makes sense all right y'all let's take a quick minute to talk

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my skin after Jackson I'd never had a zip before until I had a baby so wow um now yeah it's crazy so now they have masks um I don't know if you've tried them yet but I love them whether you want to try the clarifying glow getter mask or the hydrating mask your skin will be looking it's best right now I have been using the um the glow getter because I just love glowy skin like I can't get away from it I just love it makes me feel so fresh so that's just one that I have been personally using and I use the essentials routine if you guys were wondering as far as my skincare here's the scoop if you want to get perfect skin like Lindsay like clearly already had already and then now I have thanks to bio clarity get started on healthier habits with your skincare

if you go to bio clarity.com our listeners will get their first month for 50 off a routine plus shipping is free and it comes with 100 risk free money back guarantees I always say what the heck give it a try but you need to use our code coffee that's bio clarity.com enter our code coffee get better skin now let's get back to the show I was wondering I because we were talking about um our kids at school like I assume you seem like the type that would be like volunteering in the classroom do you ever do that yeah so actually up until this year Jackson started preschool at two so he did like two day twos three day threes four day fours and now he is in five day fives but he was a little young to go to kindergarten so he's going to do kindergarten next year so he's kind of getting

an extra year which I felt like was the best thing for him just being a boy and being the youngest kid in his class yeah throughout you know his whole preschool experience and he's really started to excel this year so I am very confident in my decision but every year I've always been the real mom until this year and this year the teacher's granddaughter is in her class so her daughter is the room mom so I'm like oh perfect that's great you know I kind of get a year off oh yeah you're off this situation yeah this situation I don't feel like it's gonna happen again so I'll probably have to be a room mom for like the next 18 years so I'm like yeah this will give you a breather you can gear up for the next 18 I was yeah I saw on Facebook my friend who's a man and his

name is Chris he had volunteered at his son's kindergarten and when he got like the information sent home it said Mrs whatever his last name is because his name is gender neutral and they just assumed no man would ever volunteer oh my gosh that's interesting isn't that bizarre I was shocked by that but it is bizarre you know why I say that it's bizarre because there was this grandad who he passed away but he was at the school and our church because my son goes to school and church at the same place so yeah um he passed away last year but he always was helping with like all of the extra stuff like book fair and like in her class and I guess he was retired and he just really was invested and he just helped all the time and I don't know maybe her parents worked

or something and he had the time so he could do it but I always saw him at the school and I always thought that's interesting because he's a man and everybody else who volunteers other than him is a woman yeah I mean my husband does and he like went to the zoo last year with the kids and everything but maybe I don't know maybe that's more common in Los Angeles versus other areas but I you're saying like almost every other person that volunteers is a woman yeah oh man and I know because I'm volunteering you know so I know what I see and yeah and it like class parties and stuff it's funny because every other year like I said that I've been the room mom I always communicate with parents and it's always you know I communicate with the moms and I've never had a dad bring

anything other than their own body to show up you know like for real this is shocking information for me I can't believe it but you know it's interesting that you say that about the field trips because how do you feel about your child going off campus to somewhere else like out in the world without you being involved not good Lindsay I'm a helicopter mom yeah I'm not good with it you know I'm like I started the admissions process for Jackson school next year and I was like so they probably already think I'm a psycho but I'm like so what are the volunteer opportunities that you get to have because I know you know when kindergarten starts then they start doing field trips and I'm like oh shit that means going off campus like wonderful um they're like oh you can

volunteer for field trips and I'm like awesome sign me up like I'm here for all the field trips right that's why Adam went because they went to the zoo and I'm like oh no somebody's got to go to this thing I just couldn't do it but like somebody's gonna go but it's not gonna be me be me no I was willing I was but if um Kale were here would she be like what's the big deal it's nothing um I think like a medium because I think Kale is very like lax with everything other than her kids oh that's interesting yeah like with her kids she's very that's very interesting about Kale she loves her kids to be on a schedule hmm she makes sure that they're where they're supposed to be not late and I feel like she is in a sense like a helicopter parent she's super involved like

her teachers her kids teachers will like text her and let her know update you know like if she has to be out of town like she's super involved oh okay in that regard so yeah so I don't know I don't know that um her boys would be going on too many field trips without her either I feel like she would volunteer it's surprising I you're reminding me how I read this article about a couple that was on patern uh parent leave uh parental leave and they decided to drive around the country and take their kid to all 50 states and the kid is going to be the youngest person to have done that and the daughter's only she's only five months old and I just could not imagine like because I like a schedule too like we said so imagine like when you're you have a newborn

just sitting in the car all damn day like driving around going to all the states would you have been up for that well first of all my child screamed right for for two years literally when I put him in the car is I swear as long as the car seat had to be like facing backward like rear facing he screamed from the time that we pulled out the car was moving until the time that we stopped and then you just wanted to like cringe because you're like oh my god can you please hush and then you stop the car and you open the door and you go to get him out and he's all smiling and you're like he's totally fine yeah it's like um come on so no I really could not imagine that Susie no for me that sounds like nightmare because it's hard enough when you have a new baby so to

like plop that kid in the car and have it be sitting in a seat which you know I didn't even think you were allowed to keep them in the seat that long when they're that little but for whatever reason they worked it out and that's how they spent their parental leave I guess it would help it go faster I don't know and isn't that interesting now that they do parental leave because like back in the day they didn't do that I think it's rare I I do the dad's a civil engineer the mom was a lawyer but I mean I think it's unusual still yeah I mean I don't think I think my husband was probably ready to go back to work after dealing with me for four days one parental leave please please don't let that be in my benefits would you like let's say it was an option would

you have wanted him around when Jackson was born I was so again um helicopter I did not want it wasn't like postpartum or anything I just mine is because of my OCD because of germs so germs it's yes so like and he was born in the dead of winter like four days after Christmas so I'm like okay this is like RSV season like anything could happen and I did not take that child out of the house like not even to the grocery store only to the doctor when he had to and I did not take him out of the house from the time I got him home until like April what not even kidding because I was terrified for him to get sick like he was born early yeah he was born in winter he somehow got RSV anyway even as much as I like protected and he wasn't

around anyone like he was at home so how do you get RSV like obviously it's probably something my husband brought home from work or we got at the doctor's office the small time that we had been there it's like how does that even happen so I didn't really want anybody around him to be perfectly honest until I knew that his immune system could like handle it on its own I didn't want people coming in and out of the house so people kind of like scheduled when they could come over and see him and then I would like meet them at the door with hand sanitizer and then I would always text to like before they would come I would always text and be like so like have you been around anybody that could have like had the flu oh my lord yeah that is brutal I was like

awful and then Will's dad got the flu like two years in a row and so I banned him from us for like three weeks I'm like oh you could still possibly be contagious like you got to stay over there um then you definitely weren't going to want to go to all 50 states you didn't even leave your zip code I didn't even leave my address that's hilarious I mean seriously I I really didn't but you know I wish looking back on it now I wish that I would have allowed Will to do a little bit more I didn't let him give Jackson a bath until he was six months old come on I'm not kidding like I did everything um from the time he was born until he was like six months was like my time breaker but at six months I did let him go to his first sleepover with Will's parents but we went to

pick him up I mean we went we drove him there and we went to pick him up like I wouldn't let them have him in the car um I let Will give him his bath for the first time at six months old and it wasn't I guess I was just like so scared because the first baby Will had ever held was his own child so I was like oh my god like there's so many things that could go wrong right I see yeah you just wanted to play it safe like if he had been around like other babies and like there was a lot of babies and their family and stuff I probably would have been way more relaxed but I was terrified I was like okay the only thing Will knows how to control is a baseball and that's not what this is so I've got to like keep this baby safe I bet he really enjoyed this situation I'm sure he

probably thought I was crazy but at the same time he probably was like oh wow this is nice I'm sure I'm sure Adam my husband will will be hearing this and think wait a minute I got a bad deal because I mean it was 5050 over here man so have y'all taken the plunge and tried beach body yet because I can't say enough about it I know we talk about it on the podcast all the time and the last time we talked about it I was just getting started with a 21 day fix and that was just a program that I felt like I could really get behind I really like the trainer autumn cali grease and they have 21 workouts and it has a nutrition guide so I just felt like it was something that I could do um and the amount of time that I have to give exercise every day and I

try to do at least 30 minutes of exercise every day and I just I love it good lord 30 minutes I want the I always do the ones that are like 10 minutes maximum I know my limits but that was cool because I always tell people it's like the Netflix for workout videos so like no matter what your taste is or how much time you have there's a perfect fit for you so I always go with like yoga or like low impact but really for me the key is like just 10 minutes because I know I can get that accomplished and like you said there's all those well-known trainers and there's p90x and all the famous stuff that people know and love and they can find a perfect workout for themselves absolutely I use p90x to get ready for my wedding and I've said that many of times but the 21 day

fix um it's working on like abs arms shoulders and legs so you get a good like variety of everything but there's plenty of workouts for everyone so you can work out on your own schedule and workouts are as short as 10 minutes like Susie says and they don't require any extra equipment we are also busy that it takes time to drive and park at the gym you could be finishing working out um and that's the part that I love about it that I don't have to go anywhere to do it so you can access it anywhere anytime you can work out on your computer um web-enabled tv tablet smartphone roku apple tv or chromecast and more what the heck are you waiting for people I've been doing it for a year I've lost 15 pounds and you need to join me Beachbody on demand we can

get in shape together that way I'm not suffering alone in my 10 minute misery so right now our listeners can get a special free trial membership including their new 14 day results plan where you can lose up to nine pounds in the first two weeks when you text coffee to 30 30 30 you'll get full access to this entire platform for free and all the workouts and nutrition information the results plan to get you super fast results and support totally for free again you just text coffee to 30 30 30 okay let's get back to the show so there was a few actually there was a lot of Q and A and I just picked like handpicked just a few for this episode and a lot of people asked um how do you manage cleaning and household duties and raising kids and do you delegate chores so

CZ I'm gonna let you answer first and then I'll answer okay yeah I do like I have a system with my husband so like we both know like what we're responsible for although he is more laid back in terms of like his process so I'm always like excuse me you have like two jobs can you do one of them that'd be great because I I like things done a certain way so I'm happy to take on more of the jobs because I'm fussy about like I wanted to look a certain way and be done a certain way so then I'll do more but like and especially now that we have um a pool he's in charge of all that jazz like I don't get involved I just jump in what's your like how do you I bet you have like a calendar and a chart do you have a whole system no I don't have a calendar and a chart and

I refuse because I'm like these are just life things like I should not have to write life things on a calendar and a chart will is very good about yard work yeah okay however I'm like okay but yard work is also like consider cardio so if you're outside with your shirt off and you're sweating then like you're also exercising when you're doing that yeah so that's like one thing that I'm not getting to do by scrubbing toilets because I'm not breaking a sweat right so he's benefiting off of exercise by doing yard work oh yes it's like a double dipper and I'm like okay like not a fan and also yard work is seasonal so I'm like okay that's not a full-time job so this is like half it's like a half a year type thing and then you don't cut the grass or pine straw or like do

any of that jazz because it's dead so like there's nothing you can do with it right that's true um and housework never stops it's 24 seven and there's always something dirty so I feel like I got the shit end of the deal but also I'm a woman so I feel like I'm pickier with things I like things a certain way like you said and I'm willing to just go ahead and do those chores the way I like them done versus delegating and then I'm going to complain about how it was done I would just rather do it from the job right I'm always reminded of there was an episode of Roseanne back in the day where the sister and Jackie was complaining because she was like why can't I find a guy like Dan and Roseanne was like do you think he came like this I put in 11 years to make him

this way and I like totally get what that's all about so relatable I'm like so so relatable and then it's like um dinners and stuff you know the insta pot will's really good about doing like one pot dinners in the insta pot yeah but then that's like where it stops it's like if it's not the insta pot then it's not good like even if he does it and it's not good is he one of those guys that's into like grilling you know how guys don't cook and then all of a sudden if it's outside they know how to do it yeah and I'm just like okay so you can work a grill but you can't do anything else and then oh he drives me nuts like he puts bacon in the oven and then doesn't cover it so it's like splattering no grease that cannot be allowed and he's like why does it matter it's just the

inside of the oven you clean that like one time a year and I'm like okay I want to see an oven that people only clean one time a year because that's disgusting and now well especially if there's bacon splattering in there then you got to clean it even more and well exactly and I'm like always doing the self cleaner and then he complains about that because he's like well it makes the house a million degrees and I'm like okay well then don't splatter bacon yeah right you have that problem the the short answer to that question is I think you just have to find like your balance and what you're good like what individually you're good at and do those things and don't bitch about it and then like set days aside that you do things so you know you can't let your laundry pile up for

19 days and then think that everything else is going to get done on one day in the weekend because that's just not going to happen it's not realistic and then you don't get to spend time with your kids because you're too busy like trying to play catch up and never understood people that like let laundry build up I just do one load a day and then that's it yeah I've started doing the like one offload like during the week you know like two or one or two loads during the week and then and you know we don't have a ton of laundry because we just have three people other than the fact that we'll change is three times today um but we don't have like a super ton of laundry for it to really build up if you just stay on top of it but I feel like I don't know why people do that

yeah like when people say it's laundry day I'm like why are you even calling it that just do like a however much as needed you know yeah that exactly all right people let's stop for a second because we have a great idea for you if you have a daughter that's going to college or a friend who's a new mom I have the perfect gift idea because FabFitFun is an awesome care package I mean we've been talking about it for a long time on Brain Kenny I know you guys on Copy Convo have been talking about it too because it's got packed full of fun stuff and we recommend giving it away too it's not just for you don't be stingy just in time the FabFitFun fall editor's box is here it's a seasonal subscription box delivered four times a year

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day nobody has an advantage on 24 hours but so you you know you have to split up your time and if you're really good at one thing I guess other things can get sacrificed but I don't see why you can't have both what do you think I feel like sometimes it's a when you're a mom there's always a pull like with work and with your family and you know you always have an obligation no matter which way you go I think you just have to find that balance and you know having a career is self-fulfilling but also good for your family financially but then if you don't have a career you don't have something that is self-fulfilling then I feel like a lot of people are resentful because they don't have that because they've given everything to their family so you have to find

that happy medium to where you can work but also take time away from work step completely away from it and just spend time with your family and you know I've talked about it last week on the podcast I think about how I'm implementing the Monday through Friday rule that if it doesn't happen by Friday at 5 p.m. then it's not going to happen until Monday at 8 p.m. like it's that's just not going to happen because the weekends are for my family yeah I mean I get you definitely do need to have boundaries but I just feel like that question wouldn't even be asked to a guy like everyone everyone would just assume that they could have both exactly yeah I definitely think that like there's always like this stigma I think around women that if you're not staying at

home and keeping your house and like being a wife and being in like 1920 then you're like crappy or something wow do you think that's more of a southern thing yes I definitely think it's like more prevalent in the south than anywhere else because I feel like you go to LA and you see all these women hustling and you see you know you go to New York you see the same thing here I feel like there's a lot of stay-at-home moms and a lot of people who have one-income households and there's nothing wrong with that like if that's the way that you have mapped out your life for your family more power to you love it and you know I stayed at home for the first year of Jackson's life but we had just started Chris Lee knows best so I was kind of working but then we would have you know

months off so that was good for me you know coming into motherhood to be able to like transition that way yeah but then I've worked ever since and I don't feel like my child has a negative like it like impacts him negatively because I have to do other things yeah and for me I would be a terrible person if I wasn't able to do some like things that I love professionally or personally outside of family life so I feel like it benefits your kid if you have those things that you know strengthen your soul and make you feel like a human being well and I think that every woman or man needs that like interaction with other adults you know it's very hard and you feel kind of lost and I know there's a lot of probably you know either single moms or stay at home moms that

are listening to this podcast and I know it's hard to be inside a house and be raising a baby and you know not working and you don't have that um interaction with co-workers or just like personal interaction with other adults that that is very wearing and taxing on you as a human being and just like your mental health because you're looking at four walls and a baby spitting up and shitting their pants and you're like oh you know so I know how that feels because I've been there and then your husband comes home from work and he's all you know hyped up and you're like okay that's nice you have been at work all day having social interaction and I've been at home cleaning dirty diapers and purring food and making dinner and doing laundry so at that point I kind of got a

gym membership and I just would when he got home I'd make sure dinner was done and you know eat dinner and then I would go to the gym for like an hour because just seeing other adults yeah just like seeing other adults was nice so I mean I can see both sides of you know why people would want to stay at home and then why people would want work I feel like I have to have the work aspect but I also like the flexibility of what I do to be able to stay at home with my child yeah I mean everyone's got to figure out what works for them but I don't I don't like the limitation of like you have to pick one or the other that sounds terrible yeah and I'm just I'm not signing up for that question so no thanks no okay and the last question for today is views on bachelor and bachelor at

parties oh like or is the question like are we pro or anti or what yes I think it's like and just like the thoughts behind them like just your general thoughts okay so I think that the bachelorette scene has really grown over I don't know the last 15 years or so where it used to be like women got a bridal shower which are terrible and boring and nobody should have to go to those but we would get these bridal showers where it was like here's presents that you can use to cook and stuff and then men would have these bachelor parties with strippers and whatever and so I feel like only now has it become like both people have these blowouts to celebrate single hood for a minute but they're not my bag what about you um I don't agree with them just because I feel like

the whole thought process behind them is wrong yeah because to celebrate being single would indicate that you weren't in a committed relationship at all so I don't see how you go from like being single to married like that doesn't there that's not normal well like have you ever been to a bachelorette party no so actually my most of my friends started getting married like in the last two years and I've been wrapped up filming and dinking around on tv so it's like I could never plan anything to go so I missed out on them but is it like did I really miss out because I don't really support it well and there's so tacky man like the the paraphernalia involved like the weird you know x-rated stuff yeah I'm not into it I've never been to one but I have seen

the photographs well I'm not into it and I just think that it's if you have um you know more power to you if you went out and had a good time with your girlfriends or your guy friends or whatever more power to you but I think that when you start getting strippers and you're going to strip club you don't need to be getting married if that's what you've got to do to like have your last two raw to put a ring on it then I don't know I'm just I'm not really about them I don't and I do agree though that if men can have them women should be able to have them yes because I mean like you said who really wants to go to a bridal party and be sitting in opening towels you know like right like I didn't like that scene either but now this whole thing and if like

I I've done stand-up comedy for a while and whenever there's a bachelorette party that comes it's like oh no because they're going to talk through the whole thing they're going to be on their phones they're going to be like just not paying attention to the show and you know they just get a little rowdy man I don't know I just think that if you want to do stuff like that still then like maybe postpone your wedding so you feel like if somebody's doing this that that spells doom for their relationship I mean I'm not going to say doom because I think there's a lot of people that just like to have a good time and I think that you know that's probably as far as it goes is just having a good time yeah but yes I feel like it's a bad like omen or stigma or whatever

you want to say like on their relationship yes like you're I feel like you're starting it wrong and I'll tell you like a brief little story that happened to me in Nashville um apparently Nashville is the capital of the world for bachelorette parties and I was staying at a hotel when I was filming for the show about a year and a half or two years ago and my room was sandwiched between a bachelor party on one side and a bachelorette party on the other I had a wake-up call at 6 a.m and these folks were going strong all night long and I was like if I can just make it through like this night then I'm going to like tell the people at the front desk I understand they're having a great time and stuff but like I'm really not having a great

time and I have to work in the morning and understand that they don't even know if they're going to be living in the morning but I'm going to need to be moved so of course they come back and say hotel's at full capacity and you know we do not have any other rooms and I'm like wonderful great oh my god so the next night comes and I'm like okay so it's quiet and I'm like oh wow this is awesome I have dinner everything's great 10 o'clock rolls around and I start hearing them no and it sounds like the bed broke on like the bachelorette party side like they were on the left side of my room and it sounded like the bed broke and then I hear somebody yell out oh shit and I'm like seriously like what is going on over there okay so apparently at this

point the bachelor party and the bachelorette party have teamed up together right and they are so in that situation I'm like okay somebody needs to call this person this bachelor's wife future wife and let her know that they probably should not be getting married because they've teamed up with this bachelorette party and they're having a grand time here in Nashville and who knows what she's doing back at home wait a minute are you saying that there was hanky panky or just shenanigans well I don't know because I wasn't in the room but I called the security people and I was like listen I cannot do this the other night because it was literally like beating music and bed breaking and whatever and the security came up there and they escorted the

girls out of the hotel like they couldn't even stay there anymore and I asked why they got escorted out and they said that they had partnered up with the bachelor party on the other side of my room and that there was some things going on that they could not discuss with me but that the loud crash that I heard was in fact the bed breaking and the bachelorette's room so I was like okay that's all I need to know and now they're not here so that's that's great so no wonder you don't like them you have firsthand evidence that they are not good yeah not a fan well Susie I'm so glad that I got to catch up with you and have a little chat so would you like to tell our listeners where they can go and listen to you oh yeah thanks I had so much fun and I feel very honored I know

you'll be glad when Kale returns better than ever but I do have a podcast called the brain candy podcast and our website is thebraincandypodcast.com and you can check it out on any podcast player iTunes etc well thank you and for our listeners if you have not checked out our Instagram you can go to at coffee combos podcast on Instagram and follow us on there we update every week for episode releases so you guys can find it on there and we do the swipe up links but you can also go to iTunes to the podcast app and if you have not given us a five star review make sure you give us a five star review on there and you can also do written reviews we'd love to read those and we just love the support so thank you so much for listening and we will be back next week have a

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