Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 53: Sexual Fetishes, Puberty, & Social Media Anxiety

Episode Date: November 8, 2018

Kail talks about how she never went to the dentist growing up. Lindsie discusses people w/ alien fetishes. They discuss emails they've gotten about selling their underwear & high heels. Lindsie tells a story from when she was dating & why she thought Will had something wrong because of the kind of socks he wore. They talk about morning routines. Kail talks about having to split her times 3 ways & how hard it can be. Kail talks about puberty & going through it w/ a son. Lindsie talks about how sometimes "because I said so," is good enough. Kail talks about a picture on Instagram that shows her nipples & how people were offended. They discuss social anxiety created by social media.

For 25% off your first order, visit rxbar.com slash convos and enter promo code convos at checkout. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of coffee combos. Hello, Lindsay. Good morning. Got my coffee ready again. I'm made. I'm actually podcasting from my bed today. Oh my gosh, that sounds so cozy. Well, so yesterday I went to the dentist and I'm telling you, I was never one of those people that hated the dentist and now I hate it. Why? Because I don't know, because like all my life I never really went to the dentist. My mom never had insurance for me, so like I only went to the doctor or anything if I absolutely was about to die. So I like when I finally did go to the dentist, I loved it and I never had cavities

until I was an adult. So I kept getting this email that I'm overdue for my cleaning, my cleaning, my cleaning. So I finally go, that was last week. Yeah, right, Kale. I text you and I was like, I'm making all my appointments and you're like, you're probably like, shit, I remember I need to go to the dentist. I haven't been in five years. Exactly. So I was like, it was at least a year. So I was like, and it's crazy because I make sure that my kids go every six months, like I don't ever like put them off. But when it comes to my appointments, like I will push it off for months and months. So I go to the dentist, regular cleaning, not a deep cleaning, not anything like that, just a regular cleaning. And for whatever reason, my mouth hurts so bad afterwards, like

it was throbbing. I could not eat. It was like I used to be a dental assistant. So I know the difference between a regular cleaning and a deep cleaning and mine was regular. So then they did tell me that I had a cavity. So I was like, Oh, fuck. And it was between my teeth because of lack of flossing, which we all know that we sometimes forget to floss. And so I go yesterday. Not only did I have to take a Valium to go because I was so freaking out. And I, I was afraid of feeling the pain. This is real shit. I used to never be afraid of the dentist. Like, I was like, Oh, I got a cavity, like what do you do? I'm, you know, bang this out. And it's going to be on my way. No, I was freaking the fuck out. And it was because I was afraid of feeling

the pain. So I get to the dentist. They, my mouth was fine. I didn't feel anything because I had the Valium, the Novocaine, whatever. So then the, the numbing shit wears off and my mouth hurt so bad. Like I've never felt anything like it. And it wasn't my teeth, like my teeth from the, the feeling didn't hurt. It was my jaw from holding my mouth open and then like everything around it. It was the weirdest thing that I've never experienced. And I don't know if it's the dentist or I don't, because the hygienist made my mouth hurt too. I don't know. Long story short, long story short, because I took the Valium, I came home, I'm like, Oh, I'm going to take a nap because that made me tired. And I woke up at fucking 830pm and was confused as to where I was

and what the hell happened because it was dark outside. And I'm like, what is life right now? Meanwhile, I've gone on about living my life all day yesterday and text you and literally thought you might have fallen off a cliff because normally, because I was nowhere to be found. Yeah. Well, so I had plans last night and it didn't work because I don't have the kids this week. So I didn't get to go do the plans because I went to sleep for four hours. So and then I once I was up and I realized I didn't upload my podcast files. I had to do that. I had some cleaning up around the house I had to do and I couldn't sleep again because I had just slept for four hours. So I ended up not going to sleep until midnight. So I'm like, I will never I can't

do this again. Meanwhile, at midnight last night, well, it was a little before midnight, I would say like 1115. I'm laying in the bed, sending kill text about if she believes in aliens. Right, I did see that and I was like, what the fuck? What am I what is life? Like, what is this and what kind of question and who asked that at 1130 at night? Oh my gosh, which what is the answer? Do you believe in aliens? Like, what are you thinking? Okay, so I'm just gonna be 100% honest about this. I was going down another one of those like rabbit holes. And I saw where these people have fetishes about aliens. Like what do you mean if like sexual fetishes and how they're supposed to have like big, you know

what and like, they have dildos or something like that that are supposed to be like alien ones. No, no. I saw this and it made me think, do aliens exist? Are they even real? And honestly, I thought your answer would be yes, because I feel like you're more of like a science believer. So I thought that you would have said yes, but that really wasn't your answer. No, I you know, it's so weird because my friend Becky asked me this last week, she asked me the exact same question and I maybe she saw the exact same thing. Maybe she went into the sex shop and saw a couple things. No. My answer is that I do believe that there's life forms on other planets, but not necessarily aliens. I'm not sure what the life forms would be, but I don't know that

they're like aliens. I don't know if that's a thing. I just don't think that there's any other life forms that might sound ignorant. But you but think about it this way, if think about it this way, before us, there was fucking dinosaurs, like fucking dinosaurs existed. Lindsay, like what the hell? I that's so like, it's crazy to think about like these huge things. And then like, they went extinct. And then I don't know, was anything on the planet after that? It's very crazy to think about honestly, because if you ever go to a museum or you know, whatever, and they have, you know, like skeletons or bones or whatever, I'm thinking to myself, okay, this could be like a total lie and like a complete made up thing, but we would have no way of knowing.

Like, were they even real? They had to have been there's fossils and bones and definitely believe that they're they were real. Like I definitely believe in dinosaurs, but I'm just saying, there's really no true way for us to like really prove it. Yeah, but like, all the continents used to be put together also, which is also very strange. So I mean, maybe there is like other life out there. I just don't know. I don't really think about it. You know what I mean? It's not like a thought that crosses my mind often. I definitely, I definitely think there is because after the dinosaurs, and then obviously there were creatures after that, but like to think about like, you know, all that stuff,

but the dinosaurs were like the main creatures, right, that we know about. So and then here we are like 65 million years later. So life is like being recreated in different forms. And so I feel like other maybe not in our galaxy, but maybe in other galaxies, like surely there has to be life somewhere. And I mean, maybe, maybe there is for me, it's very hard to wrap my small brain around dinosaurs roaming around that were that large. Yeah, like it's very hard for me to be like, oh, wow, that was something that actually existed. I actually used to have one of my best friends. She used to be on the show too. I'm not going to mention a name, but she did not know she didn't know that the dinosaurs were real. Like she thought that the it was all just like a fake out make

believe. Yeah, like she thought it was like make believe like these were museums to see the dinosaurs like for entertainment. She didn't know that it was like a real thing. Well, they were a real thing, but I'm not so sure about aliens. And I think it's very strange, like there's some very strange people in this world. I'm one of them, but not strange. And in these types of ways, but to have fetish about aliens that you don't even know if it is just really weird. I mean, but the same thing goes for people that have like a foot fetish like foot feet exist. And that's still weird. I mean, yeah, all fetishes are like pretty weird. But I'm just saying something that you have no way of knowing if it's even real real. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of fetishes,

though. Okay, like when I first started, Chris Lee knows best, and it was like the new thing. I would get these random emails from people asking me about your underwear. Yeah, about my underwear and shoes like high heels. Did you get these? No, I did get one about underwear. And then also I want to say it was Chelsea and I, I don't remember it was me and somebody else this like older man lived in Pennsylvania wrote us letters to our homes. Wow. And like was like requesting certain things. I think it was Chelsea. I don't I'm pretty sure it was Chelsea. And I like freaked the fuck out. What is wrong with people like this person, it was the same person that was emailing me. But this person was offering thousands of dollars to a PayPal account for high heels and

a pair of underwear. No. And I'm like, obviously, I know what they're going to be doing with them. So that went straight to my delete folder. But yes, absolutely. It's just weird that somebody would even feel comfortable enough. It amazes me people in this world at the, you know, level that people are so comfortable to ask certain things to people that they don't even know that blows my mind. I just can't. I fucking can't. I don't have a fetish like I don't think I'm a weird person. I don't do things that are weird. So like, I can't relate. You say this all the time that you don't do things that are weird, but I feel like you do do weird stuff. I really don't. The only thing that I can think of that is super weird that I do is like I'm I have and have very

I have very sensitive to smells. Me too. I hate so if you yeah, I hate smells, but also like my person like whoever I'm with, like, I will smell the fuck out of them. Like I love to smell them. So that's kind of like a fetish. Yeah, I think I would say yeah, I would definitely borderline fetishy. Like, yeah, that's like the one thing that is weird about me. Okay, so you guys know that I love to mix up my scent. And with the season change and cozy weather, I like to wear more sweet and natural scents. And that's why I use the luxury fragrance subscription service called scent bird. Every month you can choose a new fragrance from over 450 designer brands. And right now I'm on a big kick. I love bamboo by Gucci. I take it everywhere. It's easy to have on hand

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scent bird.com slash coffee and use our code coffee for 50% off your first month scent bird.com slash coffee sign on smell amazing. So like when you meet somebody though, okay, just like let's say it's like the first time that you meet them. What is the first thing that you look at when you meet a person? Their smile, their teeth. Okay, yes, I look at their teeth too. But I have noticed that a smell can make me attracted to someone. But also I've only had two like when Chris and I were together. I feel like in the beginning, he didn't really have like a scent that I noticed. You know what I mean? So it must have been either his personality or his looks that drew you in.

So it was something else. Yeah, something. But yeah, other than that, I don't have any weird fetishes. I'm not. I just don't have that. Okay, well, I will tell you what really creeps me out. And I want to know if this creeps other people out too, because I know I can't be the only person that thinks of this. But I was in the grocery store on Sunday and this happens all the time. But on Sunday, I was just strolling through the produce section. And all of a sudden, I turn the corner and I see this man with like pajama looking clothes on and a pair of like those slides. I prefer if men are going to wear slides or something like that, they need to put on a pair of socks because I don't want to see their feet like it is just nasty.

Yeah, you know what? I don't, I feel like if men wear slides, they should definitely wear the socks also. I just think it's like nasty, especially in the grocery store of all places, because I'm trying to, you know, pack my produce. And I see this man with like a size 19 shoe coming at me with toes that are like over go like hanging off the side. Like it's like they're on a ledge and like they're hanging off. Like it creeps me out. Even as a girl, I don't really love to wear my like my slides specifically without socks. It's just kind of weird. And I used to think all the time growing up when I saw people do that. I was like, why are you wearing sandals with socks? Like it's weird, right? And now that I'm not a kid anymore, and I'm not having to look at

kid feet, and I see adults doing it, I'm like, okay, you really need to throw on a pair of socks because that's weird. That's so funny, because the other day I was dropping off the baby with Chris. And I don't know. Oh, we talked about being barefoot. I love to be barefoot. Like as soon as I get, if I wear sneakers, which I have a ton of sneakers, or if I wear like boots or something, the first thing I do when I get home is take off my socks and shoes. Like I am barefoot, and I will go outside of my yard barefoot, and I will be barefoot. I don't care. My kids are the same way. So Chris was getting irritated because the baby loves to be barefoot. Like if we put socks and shoes on him in the car, he's taking his socks and shoes off. Right. Because I just love

to be barefoot. And like we have the trampoline outside that's in the ground. So they have to have their their socks and shoes off and the baby jumps and stuff. So the baby was outside barefoot. And Chris's grandma is the same way. Like she was telling me how she loves to be barefoot too. And Chris hates it. He will not show his feet. Like he wears socks all the time. So she was like, I Chris's grandma was like, I haven't seen Chris's feet since he was three years old. And I'm like, that's how men should be. That's how they should they should keep their socks on. Nobody wants to see their feet. That is so funny. So does Chris have ugly feet? Is that why he covers them? No, he doesn't even have ugly feet. Like he just doesn't have ugly feet. So I'm so

so I don't know why he does that. Because Lux has the cutest like fattest Maui feet. Yes. Yeah, Maui feet. Yeah. I love his feet. They're so like compact and like they're chunky. I know. They're so nice. My kids have ugly feet. I mean, Isaac's I think has like flat feet, but like my kids don't really have ugly feet. I thought you were about to be like, well, Isaac has ugly feet. I was going to be like, Oh my God. No, his feet. I think they're flat, but they're not ugly. Like he didn't none of my kids have ugly feet. Oh my gosh. Well, speaking of ugly feet. So when I first started dating, I would go over and watch movies or, you know, we would just, you know, hang out. I don't know what we would be doing, but we would just be hanging out.

And every time I went over, he always had on like these thick ass socks and they're like wool, like big socks. And I'm like, thinking to myself, I would never ask him because, you know, we're just starting to talk and like kind of dating, but not officially dating, but like kind of. And I just thought that wouldn't be something that I would ask him like why he's wearing thick ass wool socks. Like, I don't know, maybe he's cold or something. So he would always wear these. And I thought it was so strange. And even it would be like in the summertime and he would have on like long, thick socks. And I'm like, okay, something's just weird. Like maybe he's missing toes, like something is going on. And it was because he was ashamed of his feet. Like he hates his

feet. And so your first thought, your first thought was that he was missing toes. I mean, I thought of a lot of things, but I was like, maybe that's what it is. Like maybe he doesn't like want me to see or something. And so I finally like saw his feet. And I mean, he's got huge feet. Will has a size 14. So like no wonder he was trying to cover them up. But yeah, he told me that like back in the day that he would never wear like flip flops or like open toe shoes, because he hated what his feet looked like. And so that's why he was wearing socks for that whole time. Well, now does he go barefoot or he still wear socks? Yeah, now he goes barefoot and doesn't care. And I'm like, geez, like, I wish you cared sometimes. I just I'm not really

gross out by feet unless they're disgusting. And most men's feet are just weird. Yeah, like they're weird shaped and stuff. Yeah. Okay, have you guys heard about this company that makes flats from recycled plastic water bottles? Because they're insanely comfortable and super stylish. Yep, you know, I converted Rothy's is the everyday flat for life on the go. It's stylish, classic, comfortable and comes in four fashionable styles. The flat, the point and the loafer, which you know, Kaylin, I love. And guess what guys, they just recently launched the sneaker. And you can never go wrong with a sneaker. I'm a super sneaker. Love and Wama. And I know that Kayle is too. And I'm just thrilled about these. I have already looked to make my selections. And

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check your phone, brush your teeth, blah, blah, blah. But okay, my main question is, is do you make your bed in the morning before you start your day? Fuck no. Fuck no. Absolutely the fuck not. First of all, I'm going to, I'm going to be honest with you. For sure I get up, check my phone and pee. But last week I forgot to brush my teeth. What? Yes, I've left the house and I've realized when I got in the car to take Lincoln to school that I forgot to brush my teeth because I'm going to tell you why. I don't really have a routine besides physically getting out of the bed because my mornings are not typical. Sometimes I make coffee and sometimes I don't have time and sometimes my kids eat muffins on the way to the bus stop and sometimes they eat cereal because

there's enough time. Sometimes I just, I can't. Are you just that much of like not a morning person that you're just like, okay, I just need to do whatever is the obligation and like nothing more? In the morning, yes. But by the time I don't, yeah, because here's the thing. There was, I don't remember, maybe it was like two months ago, what month are we in right now? We're in October. So yeah, I guess the beginning of this year, I started setting an alarm clock for Isaac because I was tired of getting up and arguing with him to get up. So now I set an alarm clock about 15 minutes before he's supposed to get up and I put it across the room. So he has to physically get up to turn it off. Like that's, I don't want him hitting snooze. We're not passing go collecting

$200, like get up. So that way that'll give me an extra 15 minutes to do whatever I need to do with Lincoln and Lux while Isaac is getting up. Right. But sometimes the baby wakes up before the other boys and sometimes he wakes up after. Sometimes everybody wakes up at the same time. There also have been mornings where Isaac goes and gets Lincoln gets Lux out of the crib and they're all eating breakfast downstairs by time I pee and brush my teeth. So there's no such thing as a typical morning in this house. Well, first of all, I just want to say that Isaac is like a perfect child. Um, no, he's not, but he is, but he's not. Well, because you find small things, because you're his mom, you know, like, so you find like the little things, but from an outsider

looking in, he's very good. Like with the other boys and like being helpful, I feel like. Yeah, I mean, he, it's crazy because I would have thought that when I had Lux just based on the situation that the boys would have been have reacted more negatively towards it just because you know, Chris and I's relationship was kind of rocky. It was, you know, Chris was not in the picture for eight months. Like you would think that they would maybe almost have a little bit of resentment towards the baby because, you know, this baby came and now I have to split my time three ways and, you know, I'm giving the baby a lot of attention because babies and toddlers need that. But Isaac loves Lux and Lincoln loves Lux so much that they just, it's not even,

it's almost second nature for Isaac. Like Lincoln is almost loves him so much. He's too rough where like Isaac is just, it's just second nature. Like I will literally be brushing my teeth and I hear him go into the baby's room and get him out of the crib. That's so sweet. That makes me, it's like things like that that makes me want to have another baby. Oh yeah, I just, I was very lucky in that sense, but in other like, Isaac definitely has an attitude that people don't see because typically he doesn't, like he doesn't film when we, like he won't film and have an attitude typically or like around other people. But I'm like, the attitude that he has, I'm like, I know that that was me when I was eight years old. Honestly. Oh my gosh, Kale, I can't. Oh my, you know what, I talked to,

I, she's like family. I talked to this family friend that I've had literally since I was like a toddler and she has two boys and they're 15 and I want to, 15 and 11. So the same age gap as Isaac and Lincoln. And we were on the phone for like 20 minutes yesterday talking about seriously how bad these boys stink. Like having boys smell so bad. I, there's, and just talking about like hygiene and like, I, I have feel bad that I have to get on to my boys about like showering and deodorant and brushing your teeth and this and that because I'm like, I, I want these habits, these good hygiene habits to follow them through adulthood. And we're just talking about how bad boys stink, like they smell really bad. Well, so I want to ask you a few questions about that, but my morning

routine is much different than I think a lot of people's, but I'm going to hawk it up to the fact that I have one child. So like my life is not nearly as chaotic as yours because you've got three things going three different ways at all times. So in the morning, I wake Jackson up, he showers, comes downstairs, has his vitamins, eats breakfast. I fix his lunch, go upstairs, kind of get myself semi ready or presentable to take him to school, make my bed and his bed, and then maybe start a load of laundry or something like that and then head out the door to school. I know that's not typical, but I find a lot. I find that I get a lot of things accomplished in the morning, like in that small amount of time. And I think it's just because I'm so like uber

focused and time like time is sensitive. So I know that I only have like X amount of time to get those things done. So I try to like rush through those things and it's off the list by the time I get him dropped off at school. Okay, you know what? I didn't have the kids when I woke up this morning, but when I woke up this morning, I peed, brushed my teeth, made my coffee, emptied the dishwasher, took my trash out, let the dogs out, fed the dogs. Like I did a lot in about an hour. I got a lot of stuff done. I straightened the living room. When I have the kids here, I just, I don't, I can't. That's what I'm saying. I only have one, so it's different. I am surprised though that you're not, that you don't get ready before, because you said that you do everything and then

you get ready. Yeah, and it kind of depends sometimes in the wintertime when it's cold, Jackson takes a shower first and then comes down to yours and eats breakfast, but normally like at the beginning of the school year before it gets cold, he eats breakfast and then showers. So I kind of like flip my routines based on when he's showering. My kids will not, they don't, none of us really shower in them. I'll shower in the morning sometimes, but my kids definitely shower at night. Um, but then that makes me think about the hygiene thing. Okay, so when is it appropriate for boys to start wearing deodorant and when do they need it? So my situation is a little bit different because um, and I, you know, I don't really want to exploit my son or anything like that, but um,

he, he's already going through puberty and he's been going through puberty for about a year and a half, two years now. Oh, wow. So Isaac already is going through all of that. Yeah. Did you go through that early? No, I didn't go through, I got my period when I was like 12. Okay. And what about Joe? Did he go through puberty early? No. Wow. So I, in my opinion, I do think that it's just a lot of like the chemicals, the GMOs, the things that we eat, the, our environment, like things are just not as healthy. Right. Yeah. You know, um, so he does have to get like an x-ray of his hand, um, his wrist rather, um, where they check like all of that kind of the growth and stuff like that. Um, so Isaac, we did, Joe and I started

like a year, maybe two years ago, we did try like the more natural deodorants and stuff like that. Right. Um, but those that didn't, um, they didn't really work. So Isaac's wearing deodorant, Lincoln's about to be five and he's not, but also Isaac does play sports like Isaac's doing jujitsu and basketball. So he's got to wear it. Yeah. And it's hard, you know, you've got kids that are in all different life phases like Isaac going through puberty and then a five-year-old and then Lux, who's getting into everything. So that would be really hard. I just, I didn't know, you know, when people started introducing their kids to deodorant and stuff like that, I know that for Jackson, he'll be six and at the end of December. And I have switched over from

like the kid's toothpaste to the mint toothpaste, just because I feel like it's a natural transition to get him used to using that. I want him using that full time when he starts kindergarten, just because the kid's toothpaste, I don't really feel like it freshens their breath. Oh, so yeah, that's a thing that we're struggling with over here too, because I feel like Isaac needs the more the mint one, like the adult toothpaste, but Lincoln's not there yet, but because they use the same bathroom, it's like, well, why does he get to use that one? And I have to use this, you know what I mean? Right. Yeah. So then that's hard too. Yeah. But I'm at the, I've actually been letting them use my quip toothpaste because I feel like it's minty,

but it's a good transition one. Oh, yeah. See, that's what I use too. I use the quip. And you know what? I thought about that actually the other week, whenever I was using it, and then I just never gave it to him because I had my toothpaste and his, you know, I just, I thought about it whenever I was brushing my teeth, and then it was like a thought that just like passed. But yeah, good idea. Yeah. Because it's, it's minty, but it's a good like transition one to like more adult toothpaste. Agreed. Agreed. I'll try that. One of the most important things that we do for our health every day is brushing our teeth. Yet most of us do not do it properly. Until quip, I was brushing all of the wrong ways, not for long enough, and I forgot to

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I've noticed that I'm struggling a lot with like, and I might have talked about this before, because Isaac's the oldest and he does know right versus wrong more than the other two, but I noticed that I'm struggling with the parts of like, you know, life's not fair. What one brother gets, the other one might not. You know what I mean? So it's like stuff just as little as like the toothpaste. Like, why do I have to use this and Lincoln doesn't? Or why does Lincoln get to do that? And I don't, and I'm struggling with that. Like, I don't want one of my kids to think I'm favoring the other. And I think that because Isaac's the oldest that sometimes he feels that way. And I don't know how to navigate that.

Well, and also because it doesn't seem to be a problem with Lux. Like, they both fully understand that Lux is a full-time job within himself. Like, Lincoln knows that Lux takes a lot of my time. If I'm busy doing something with the baby, he doesn't, I don't get the sense that he feels resentful. I don't get an attitude or lash back or anything like that. And same goes for Isaac. But when it comes to Isaac and Lincoln, I feel like they both feel some type of way. Well, why does he get to do it? And I don't, why are you with him and not me? Like, I'm struggling. Because you have to consider to that, even though there's a decent gap between Isaac and Lincoln, they still do play together and they're old enough to argue. So the difference between that

is a completely different makeup as far as relationship than with the baby, because obviously they're not going to sit and argue with the baby because he doesn't know any better. So I think that just like the relationship in general is much different with those two, and the fact if Isaac is going through puberty, everything is kind of an argument during that time. So, you know, they find small little things to pick up on, you know, to just bring attention to. And I know that everything for me, I feel like time is a huge thing being a mom, and everything can't be a conversation. And I try to explain that to Jackson like, I don't want to be the mom that says you have to do this. And when he says why, I don't want to be

the mom that's like, because I said so, but like kind of, you know, right? Like you can't explain everything. It just is what it is that that's just what it is. Yeah, like you can't have the time to explain every single thing and pick apart every single thing. Like at the end of the day, it's just toothpaste. And it's, if it becomes a bigger issue, then at that point it can become a conversation. But, you know, Isaac, you are, how old's Isaac? He's eight, he'll be nine in January. You're eight and Lincoln's five. And this toothpaste is for kids that are one to five. This toothpaste is for kids that are over five years old. Right. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's just what it is. Yeah.

You know, because it's Dennis, it'll show you like on the thing, if you read any of the facts, like what the recommended ages are for certain things. Everything's an argument, Lindsay, at this house, everything. It's like, because I recently, I talked about it before, I recently put Isaac in his own room, but the playroom is attached to Lincoln's room. And before I moved, before I moved Isaac into the room, I said, who wants to stay in this room and who wants to leave, like who wants to go in the other room? So Isaac was ready to move into the other room. He didn't care that the playroom was attached to Lincoln's room. So that like wasn't like a jealousy or resentment thing.

However, when it comes to cleaning the room, well, Isaac will be like, that's not my room. That's Lincoln's room. Like he doesn't want to clean up the playroom. Right. But then that's where you have to go into the conversation of, okay, Isaac, I understand that you two have totally separate bedrooms. However, I'm not asking you to clean Lincoln's room. I'm asking you to clean the playroom that is attached to Lincoln's room. This is no longer an argument. Yeah, it's just, I never, I guess I never put too, like I never thought, okay, maybe him going through puberty is the reason for all the argument. Right. Yeah. No, I definitely think so. Or maybe it's just the age or maybe it's just brothers because like I'll talk to people who

have siblings and stuff. And I actually talked to Chris's little cousin. She's got two brothers. And she was like, no, we never snitched on each other. We never told on each other. We always back each other up. And their ages are fairly close to Isaac and Lincoln. So I was like, well, that's so weird because at my house, everyone's telling on each other all the time. Well, and see, I know at school, Jackson's teachers are definitely helping with facilitating on like the tattling and stuff. And basically, I mean, they don't say if you're not bleeding, don't tell me, but they say, you know, pray for your friends or, you know, whatever, but don't tell us about it, you know, like figure it out basically. And sometimes as a mom,

you just have to do that. And I've had to do that with Jackson, you know, on play dates or, you know, whatever it is, just figure it out. Have you guys heard about the RX bar? You guys know that we're obsessed. RX bar is a whole food protein bar made with real whole ingredients. RX bar sets out to be transparent to their customers and they have created a bar with no fillers, preservatives, artificial ingredients and general BS. RX bars are clean and simple and every ingredient serves a purpose. I love how they label each bar so, so simply with core ingredients, egg whites, dates and nuts right on the front of the package. You can't miss it. And the flavor components on the back with real unsweetened chocolate, coconut and apples, etc.

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or a toss in your bag for the plane. And now RX bar has debuted an RX nut butter, which contains few simple and similar ingredients like egg whites, fruits and nuts. Every single surf packet contains delicious creamy nut butter with nine grams of high quality protein. It's squeezable and spreadable and pairs great with fruit, rice cake, pretzels, just straight out of the pouch because you'll, so you'll love it. I can't wait to try that actually. For 25% off your first order, visit rxbar.com slash commvos and enter promo code commvos at checkout valid in the US only. Let's get back to the show. Um, question for you, Lindsay, because you are such a planner. Yes. And it's the end of October. Um, when do you go Christmas shopping

for gifts? Okay, so I'm really excited about this this year because I have been in super planning mode basically since the second week of October, which I guess is that this week? No, like two weeks ago. Um, and I just like knowing plans, especially when it's involving like other people other than me and Jackson and will, I like to know, you know, general plans on what people are doing. So we're going to Disney for the week of Thanksgiving and then coming home doing Thanksgiving with family. And then, um, you know, I put Christmas up the day after Thanksgiving, which I know you said that too. And for Thanksgiving this year, in the past, it's either I cook and Will's mom cooks or, um, I've cooked like a full Thanksgiving

before. Um, I've hosted Thanksgiving at my house and done it and his mom just brings a dish or whatever. But I feel like we're kind of getting at the age where we need to like step up a little bit more because when we go to Will's parents and stuff, it's like, I'll bring stuff or sometimes they won't ask for anything. And it's like, we just, you know, go and enjoy, which is fun. But we're at the age where I'm kind of like, okay, we need to step in. And as far as Christmas is concerned, we're doing things a bit differently this year, which we've never done. And I don't know if you've ever done this before, but we're going to do secret Santa, um, with a limit. And I'm kind of organizing that and everybody, you know, gets one person and then Jackson's not included

because he's the only child. So everybody will, you know, get him a present, but everybody else is just doing secret Santa. And that way, you know, I feel like the meaning of Christmas is to be around family and to enjoy the company. And I don't think that the presents matter as much. I actually think it takes away from Christmas. Yeah. I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I agree. I do agree with that. And I don't, I feel like you get so stressed and like wrapped up and like trying to get gifts and making sure you get something for everyone. And then it's like, things start becoming last minute. So then the gifts aren't super meaningful. And it's, I don't know, I just, I hate that part about Christmas, honestly. And I think that it's going to be so much fun just to be able to shop for one person,

because you can really put your whole thought, thought into that. And everybody's doing it for one person plus Jackson. And then that's just it. And I think we will have so much more fun, honestly, by doing it that way. That's actually how I used to do it with Javi's family. Really? We would do, see, yes, we would do, everyone got the kids gifts, my kids and then the other kids in the family, like everyone got the kids gifts. But the adults, because there were so many, we just did Secret Santa with a limit. And it, it made it more fun. And I'm, I'm very much like a practical gift giver. If I'm going to give a gift, I'm not giving a gift that you're going to need a gift receipt for. I'm going to take my time to know what you need or want. And it's going to be practical that you're

going to use. Like, don't, and same goes, like even growing up for me, like, why even waste your money on something that I may or may not wear or use? Like, I'm just more of like a practical and I'm thoughtful when I do my gifts, like last year, for all the kids in my family, I did, because my, the kids in my family and my extended family, my aunts and uncles and stuff like that, they just travel all the time and they're always doing stuff with their kids. So I did like the personalized throw blankets. So like, they could sleep with them, but they could also go camping with them and they all have their names on them. Yeah. And this year, because all the kids in my family do sports, I think I'm going to do

the Yeti tumblers that are like personalized that I post about all the time. Yes. Yeah. So like, I want to do stuff like that because I know it's practical. I know they're going to use it. I know that it's, you know, it's just cute, thoughtful stuff. But yeah, I'm the same way. I just, why am I going to spend all this money on every single adult? What? That's not really what it's about. Yeah. And, you know, I really thought that when I, you know, came up with this idea, it's not, you know, like a new idea. It's just new to our family. But when I came up with this, I thought that nobody would be on board. But surprisingly, everybody, when I started kind of messaging and calling and just kind of gauging interest, because I also didn't want people to

feel like they had to participate if they didn't want to do that. It was like by a choice thing. So everybody wanted to participate. It's a good idea. And I think it's, yeah, I just think that it gives you more of a chance to like really think through gifts and kind of focus on what the real meaning of Christmas is. So I think that you did good with that idea. And also, you know, it takes the pressure off of everyone because I feel like everyone probably feels very similar about feeling the pressure of gift giving and having to have something for everybody and having to be thoughtful and spending so much time in the time of year. It just flies by. And I feel like you get so wrapped up in being at the mall or shopping

on, you know, Amazon, whatever it is that you just miss like the whole time. Yeah, I agree. I for sure agree. And then as far as like the, you know, buying for Jackson, I try to do that super early. So I will probably start next week actually. Usually it's by the 1st of November is when I start, you know, looking and purchasing gifts. We do a lot of Amazon to be perfectly honest just because it's easy. We have prime and it shows up at the door and that's just it. And a lot of times it's cheaper. Yeah. I used to be a very last minute gift giver, like not gift giver, a last minute shopper. But I found just that it's easier to order online and I do a lot of personalized stuff now that last year I had all my stuff done by October. So I'm a little bit

late this year. Oh, wow. So you do really early. Well, because a lot of the things that I do, like the blankets that I ordered, first of all, we have 15 kids in the family. So I had to order all of them and, you know, people stop taking personalized orders early. Right. When you order online. So I wanted to make sure that they all came in time. I hate that I have ordered people gifts before and they have not delivered in time. And then they're like, Oh, okay, I didn't get anything for like for the kids. And it's like, I did. It's just late. Yeah, I hate that. So yeah, I am actually late and I'm hoping that anything that I want to do is not too late at this point. But so yeah, I'm going to probably start this week. I wrote down like a bunch of stuff that I want

to do for all the kids. But well, you'll have to let us know how it goes and what you get ordered because I'm interested. Okay, I for sure will. Did you guys know there is a green juice for your face? And have you heard about bio clarity? Okay, I'm just joking. But you guys, I mean it when I say that bio clarity products are loaded with soothing ingredients like fluorolux from chlorophyll. They're hydrating, but also lightweight. If you're ready to detox and rejuvenate, then it's time to pick your routine and get going. So I know I've talked about it before, but I use the essentials routine and I actually just ordered the sudsy, which is the body wash. It smells like tangerine grapefruit and lemon. And I'm just really thrilled about this product because I love good

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money back guarantee, but you have to enter our code coffee. That's bio clarity.com. Enter our code coffee. Now let's get back to the show. Um, so if you follow me on social media, um, which Lindsay, I tell pretty much everything too. So she knows from text message, but I did this, um, this campaign with Good American, uh, online. And that's if you guys don't know what Good American is, it's Chloe Kardashian co founded this gene company. And my ad photos, you can see my nipples through the shirt, right? So, um, it brought up a very interesting thing for me. And I didn't mean to take away from the ad or the edit or anything like that. However, I'm so shocked and surprised at the response about my nipples. What was the response? People were calling me

trashy. Um, they didn't want to see my nipples this, that and the third. Mind you, my nipples are not like, you can't see my physical nipple. You can just see that I have nipples. Right. So it brought me back to like breastfeeding and stuff like that. And you know, and I, I breastfed Lincoln for a year and I literally never covered because it was sweaty. It made me uncomfortable. It made him uncomfortable. He didn't want anything on his face. So I didn't cover. I thought breastfeeding was a natural thing. And I guess I, when I was a more aware while I was breastfeeding, I realized how offended people were by it, but also I didn't care because this is my baby and I'm going to feed him wherever. Now that I'm not breastfeeding and I'm in a shirt where you can't

see the nipples, you can just see like where my nipples are. Right. People are having a fucking fit. And I could not, I'm flabbergasted, I guess is a good word by it because I'm just why are people offended by nipples? But it kind of goes back to what I was saying about how people aren't ashamed to say anything to anyone anymore and especially over social media, that it's just kind of like a free for all. And you can say whatever you want to. Those people would never say that to you. Chances are it's just because it's a free for all. They can type whatever they want to type and say whatever they want to say. And the photos were, they were, they were beautiful, but they found the one thing in the photo. It's like, you can't get anything right.

You know, so they find the one thing in the pictures that it's like, oh, I can pick that apart because I can't find anything else on this picture to pick apart. So that's going to be it. But I, I don't, like, I just, it was, it was had me racking my brain because I think about how I was raised and like my mom and I never had conversations about except acceptance or judgment of people. We never had those conversations yet at 26 years old with no guidance in that way. I don't like, I didn't have to have those conversations with my mom to fully accept somebody for who they are or not judge people for like, I wouldn't, if we were out on the street or at the mall or at Walmart or wherever, like, I don't, I don't even look twice if you have,

if you're nipples, you're not wearing a bra and your nipples are out. I don't give a shit. Like that's not something that I'm, if someone's nipples are pointing directly at my face, I'm not, I don't give a shit. Like I'm not going to, I don't even think twice about it. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, to be perfectly honest, that goes back to me talking about this man's feet and like, I know just because I noticed feet, like that's one thing that I fully noticed. Right. Right. But I'm talking like, because he didn't take care of them and they were just like out there. Yeah. But I'm talking about everybody has nipples. Yeah. I think it's just you were nipping and like, that's just what it is. I mean, I don't know why they would

have picked it apart. But like I said, I think it really goes back to that there was nothing else to pick apart in the photos. Those were probably like the best photos that you've taken in a long time. Those, I mean, they were just really good pictures. And that was one thing in the photo that they could be like, Oh yeah, this photo is great. However, her nipples are showing. That's so weird. It's just so rude. But I was watching this thing on, I was watching this thing on TV the other night. And remember that night that it was like eight 30 or like nine o'clock. And I was like, I'm already in the bed. Well, this was the night that I was watching this. And it was talking about social media creating social anxiety and how kids as early as middle

school are becoming socially anxious because of social media. And just like the social comparison of you go and you find yourself doing it as an adult too. So imagine like a child that's going through puberty or you know, whatever that's on social media and comparing themselves to other people. And I was very amazed by the fact that the suicide rate for girls is up 70%. What whereas boys at 25%. And I think it's because girls are just they want to compare it's like by nature, you know, you compare yourself to other girls, the other girls. And I just, I'm sure boys do it to some extent as far as you know, like athletic ability or you know, whatever, but maybe not as much looks clothes or, you know, I'm sure there are some boys that do it,

but probably much less than girls. And this is so shocking. This is the reason why imagine if you were so if you were mentally, you know, a weaker person and you couldn't shake that somebody was talking about your nipples, imagine how that would make some people feel. Right. Yeah, that's heartbreaking. Honestly, that is so sad. I just, I just, I don't get it. I just truly don't get it. It's, it's very sad. And you know, it makes me scared for our kids, because there's things that we have faced in this world that our parents didn't face and things that our kids will face that we never knew about. Yeah, it's, I mean, in some ways it's, it's weird because it's like social media has done a lot of good as far as like jobs and such like that,

because obviously like you can work for these social media companies or you get paid by posting for them. But in other aspects, it's done a lot of harm, crap, harm. Yeah, to, to, I don't want to say the world, but to people. And so it's, it's a catch 22, I feel like. I was reading this one article about this girl who got a complete complex about her nose from social media and said that she would do whatever it took. Like she was on this path of she was going to get a nose job. Like she didn't care what it took because she was so down on her appearance because of her nose and how people talked about it. But the interesting thing was, was once she fixed what, you know, she deemed the problem that no one commented once her nose was perfect. It's not like people are saying positive

things. It's only negative, only negative. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I think that's interesting too, because I feel like that's how it is in like real life too. Like people will come like you could do a million good things, but the second you do something bad, they'll comment on that, but not about the good things. That's, that's a shame. That's, that's a real shame, to be honest. Such a shame. Changing gears a little bit though, because I have thought about this so many times when I'm driving down the road. Have you ever been driving and you see like an old power pole and it's like shoes are hanging up there or you see like a random shoe in the middle of the road? Yes. Okay. So what are your thoughts whenever you see this? The first thought that I thought of was

when Lincoln showed up to jujitsu last week without a shoe because he left it in the driveway. Why did you leave your car? Like you knew your shoe came off. Why did you leave it in the driveway and continue to get in my car and not say anything to me? No, honestly though, like if I see it in a random place where like you wouldn't think of it, I worry was that a, because you see it in movies too, but like did someone bully you and you, they took your shoes and threw them? Yeah, or I always think worst case scenario, right? I think you think of, you think of a murder. Yes, that is what I think of or, you know, somebody's been abducted or something like that. And they've like hung their shoes up and it's like a subtle clue of like they had been there or

something. I have no idea like what goes through my head whenever I'm thinking these things or why I'm thinking these things, but I was driving Jackson to school the other morning and it made me think of it because there was a, it looked like a sketcher, like a little girl's sketcher in the road. And I'm like, how did that one shoe get there? And I wish if anybody's listening and they know why one shoe gets in the road, like on a highway or why shoes get like hung up on power poles, please explain. Well, so when I was, one of the times that I was like good with my mom and she would tell me stories about when I was little, she told me that one time I must have been two or three, she had just bought me a new pair of shoes and I was laughing so hard in the

backseat and she didn't know why. And when she looked back, she realized that I had thrown them, I had thrown them out the window while we were driving. So maybe it's a situation like that. Yeah. So maybe, okay. And then this one time I saw it looked like men's shoes in the middle of the road. So I'm like, okay, so if a man's throwing them out the window, then there's issues. And I always think when I see this, it's literally like, I watch way too much like law and order and stuff. It's like, I think that somebody is in the backseat like tied up and they threw the shoe out is like a clue of like where they're, where they've been. I mean, that's actually smart. Like just kick the, like if your hands are tied up, just like fall over and then like kick the window out. That's

actually really smart, honestly. Like that's what I think of. And I know that's like crazy. It's not crazy though, because I mean, if you guys get abducted and you guys, they tie your hands up for sure, just like fall over in the backseat and then just kick the window out and lose a shoe because someone's gonna see that someone is going to see you kick your shoe out the window. You know what I'm saying? But would people help? You know what I mean? Like I'm so worried. If I saw somebody kick their shoe off out the window, I'm calling 911. So you're cop calling for sure. Yes. And I'm following because I'm going to help somebody. That's not okay. If I saw that, I would probably have a panic attack and crash. So I really would need to call 911. Right. For sure. Just like run

into them. Just help everybody. Okay. Just going back to like the shopping thing and like kid thing. Yep. The other day. Okay. So as you know, sometimes I get a babysitter from 12 to three. And do I like that time? Not really. But that might be the only time that I might be able to get like some shit done without having to take looks in and out of the car seat and then like running them into the store or like the gym or whatever. Right. So it's more convenient for me if I can get a sitter from not from like nine to 12, just because I dropped Lincoln off and then I can go get some errands done before I, you know, whatever. So my friend just moved back from Georgia and she's like decorating her house and like trying to settle in and she asked me for my help. So I'm like, okay,

I love interior design and I can do this and I don't have to spend my own money. So we are good. So I'm like, all right, I'll drop Lincoln off at school and then I'll just take Lux with me to the store and, you know, do that. And then he'll go to this. He'll, the sitter will come at 12 still so then I can get my stuff done. So it's like 930, 10 o'clock and Lux is just like, he's grabbing everything and just touching everything. I tell him, no, and he's crying. He won't sit still. He's, it's just like a nightmare, right? So I'm getting super frustrated. And I'm like, all right, I'm leaving. Like I'm not doing this. I'll come shopping for you when he has a babysitter. And no, honestly, because I was like, this isn't worth the stress.

Like I'd rather not, because I'm, you know, he's frustrated clearly because I'm not letting him do what he wants. And I'm frustrated because I can't get shit done. So I forgot what that was like because I don't remember and they married very wet. They very well may have touched stuff and like been frustrated, but I don't remember Isaac and Lincoln doing that. Right. So anyway, we get home. I'm sitting in the driveway and Lux has fallen asleep now on the way home from the store. So at this point, I was so frustrated that I didn't want to wake him up and take him out of the car seat to go in the house. So I'm sitting in the car in the driveway with Lux sleeping in the back seat. And I'm just like, okay, I'm just going to breathe. I just started crying. Like I lost my

mind because I was just like, what is life? Like people, I love my kids to pieces, but I, you just don't, I don't think people talk about that stuff as much as it happens. You know what I mean? Because people want to like show this like perfect life on social media or like they don't talk about the hardships of it. But like, I just like couldn't, I had to go to Staples and print some stuff out. I needed to go to Verizon and I very well could have gotten all of that done at 9 30 while I was already out dropping Lincoln off versus coming home for three hours and having a sitter come like instead of me going to school dropping Lincoln off and coming back home and then going back out when the sitter comes, it would have just been more convenient for me to just take Lux with me

and just get all the things done. But it was so frustrating to try to do that that it wasn't worth it. And so I just started crying because it was like that on top of all the things that I still needed to get done when I did have the sitter. And I was just like, this is it. I'm, you know what, like I, I don't know what to do. And so I'm sitting in my driveway crying and bucks in the backseat sleeping like nothing happened. I feel like that's so relatable to all moms really, because so many times I've seen moms in the grocery store like at the mall or wherever. And it's like they're having, you can tell that they're, they have boarded the struggle bus that day. And it's just like really bad. And you know, it's always you see somebody else's

kid acting bad when yours is acting good. And I always try to like walk past that person and let them know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's okay. Cause my kid's not always good either, because you can just tell the frustration. And I know that I've been there and just you just want to like give up and just be like, Oh my gosh, like I cannot do this. I cannot do this, but you have to be your own hype man. Like you can't let it get to you like that. You just have to fight through it and know that it's a phase because it is a phase. And you know, Jackson went through lots of phases. He has whooped my ass. I'll be perfectly honest, like very stubborn and strong willed. And there are certain things that like when we would have play dates or whatever

that other people could tell their kids to stop doing something. And it's like they immediately stop. And Jackson, it's like I'm on the, you know, three countdown. And it's like, I've gotten to three. And by that point, I'm just really ticked. And I don't understand why you didn't stop the first time I asked you to stop. And it's just like he's so bound and determined. And he's finally getting out of that. It's like I tell Will that we will break him and Will tells me we will break him. Like I will not give in. I will outstubborn him. And yeah, it's hard when you have a child that is so determined and wants to be independent, but also dependent on you, but thinks that they can just kind of like do whatever it's really hard. Well, and then I'm just like, when I said bye to

my friend, I was like, I'm not doing this today. Like I'm just not we're going to go home. I'm going to wait for the babysitter and then I'm going to get my stuff done. Right. The next day, she was like, Oh, what are you doing after drop off? Like I want to do this, this and this. I said, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to even attempt to stress myself out. I said, I'll we can do it when I have a sitter. Like I was not doing it the next day. I wasn't giving it a second chance. Fuck no. And I think to a lot of moms can also relate to this as well that over committing yourself to things, because you have to know what your limits are and what's within your limits. And what you can individually handle as a mother, because what I might be able to handle

on the other hand, you might not invite versa. So, right, you know, there's certain things that might drive me nuts that my my child does and your child does it too. And it doesn't phase you. You just have to know like what's within your limits and right go with it because maybe shopping with Lux is just not in the car. Not a thing. No, not a thing. Nope. It truly is not a thing for me at all. And I'm not because I'm like, it doesn't only stress me out. It stresses him out. So why am I going to, you know what I mean? Like why would I put both of us in that situation to be frustrated? It's like, well, he's feeding off your energy, you know, so when you get stressed out, then he starts showing his ass even more because he knows that you're stressed. And so now he's

stressed. So he just wants to raise hell. Right. Well, and it's two, it's one of those things where it's like, did you ever have you ever been out in public and you're like, you know, that it's probably way past your child's bedtime and the child's throwing a tantrum and the mom gets frustrated at the kid? Well, no, you should have probably left two hours ago and put your kid to bed. Like it's one of those things where it's like, okay, this is probably, you know, right in between. Yes. It's like, you know, he just woke up, we did drop off, we normally go home, have a snack, then have lunch and take a nap. So why am I sitting here fucking up his schedule and then stressing us both out? Right. Yeah, I know. And I will say for the first like three years of Jackson's

life, no joke that we're going to be home and showered and ready for bed by 830. Like that is not even a question. Don't ask me to do anything like it's not a negotiable in our life. Don't ask me to do anything past that time or around that time. I need to be having my ass headed home by like seven at the latest. Yeah, no, I'm the same way. That's, I mean, the older two I can stretch their bedtimes a little bit, but no, I'm not, it's not worth it for me to do that to Lux at all. Not at all. All right, guys, well, that's all we have time for today. So thank you for listening and we will be back next week with more crazy mom stuff. There's a few stories that we want to tell you guys about that we didn't have time for today. And if you guys are not following us on

at coffee combos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there. That's where we do all updates for new episode releases. Merch. We have started adding the discount codes on there for you guys to make it easier. And if you have not given us a five star review on iTunes, you can just go to the podcast app for iTunes, search coffee combos, click the fifth star and you can also leave a written review. We really appreciate them. So we hope you guys have a good week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This podcast is brought to you by wave podcast network. Check out all of our shows, including the brain candy podcast. I don't get it babes and babies coffee combos and let's talk about it.