Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 56: Tower of Terror, Family Photo Disaster, & Mom Shaming

Episode Date: November 29, 2018

Kail & Lindsie talk Cyber Monday & Black Friday shopping. They follow up on IVF & gender selection & how it actually works. Lindsie talks about her day at Disney & Kail talks about being a fan of Disney from her couch. Lindsie talks about the Hall of Presidents & why she thought the animatronics were real. Kail discusses her PodHead launch party. Kail talks about her disastrous family pictures. They discuss mom shaming & how women should rally together. Kail talks about her son being color blind.

Hey, guys, welcome to Coffee Combos. How are you, Lindsay? I'm good this morning. How are you? Um, a little scatterbrained today, but this isn't new. So this is not new at all. I'm actually doing some online Cyber Monday shopping while we are podcasting. Actually, um, that's why you were on hold because I was getting all the aromatherapy stuff off Bath & Body Works and people are like vultures. Like I'm telling you, I was trying to get

like the, um, bath milk or whatever for people who use aromatherapy from Bath & Body. They know about this. First off, they never run sales. And secondly, they were running a sale this morning. And on the way to school, I was like, do I need to pull over like on the side of the road to do this checkout so that I make sure I get it? Because it was such a good deal. And when I went to go and check out, by the time I got to the checkout part and put my card number in, it referred

me back to my shopping cart and was like, oh, these items are not available anymore. So I had to like go back through and add more items. It was so annoying, but I got a good deal. So I was happy. Sometimes I get so annoyed, but I mean, deals are deals. So you got to get them while you can. Exactly. But the fact that we did not go Black Friday shopping is kind of funny and kind of speaks to our generation that we

are online type people. This is true. And when we want something, we want it now. Yeah. And if you think I'm going to target to fight somebody over like an ornament or whatever they're buying there, that's not even remotely happening. No, never. I'm for sure never arguing at a store for anything. Somebody messaged us that they were Black Friday shopping at a mall and that they started hearing like gunshots in the

mall. See, no, that's something we're never doing. I'm like, that is exactly why I am at home sleeping. I'm not a black. I think I went Black Friday shopping one time, but I'm just not remotely interested. I'm more of like Cyber Monday, but also I shop like in October. So I mean, here's the thing, Black Friday is not a real thing. They totally have everyone brainwashed and they definitely have these sales like

throughout the year. And people just don't know because it's not advertised the way it is for Black Friday. Well, exactly. And as you were saying, you went one time. I also went one time. And that was when we had first moved in to our house. And I needed like, Pyrex stuff for the kitchen. And Jackson was switching car seats from like his removable car seat to just like a convertible. And so I was like, I'm convertible. And so they had the Britex car seats, literally

like 50% off, which is a good deal because those are like $400 car seats. So I went for that. But other than that, like you wouldn't catch me dead. Oh, heck no. I forgot about this message that I got over the weekend. This is completely unrelated to Black Friday, but I need to read it to you because we remember that episode of the podcast where we talked about in vitro and IVF. We were talking about

it's better not be the same message that I got. About gender selection. No, no, no. Okay, so we I got a message on Twitter about the IVF stuff. And I won't say her name because I she didn't get me permission and I don't want to blow up her spot. Hey, so I just listened to your podcast, the bonus one from last week. Okay, so I wasn't that long ago. And you guys talked about IVF and the uncertain the

uncertainty of choosing genders. So she has two girls, five and four, and then they had no issues conceding with them. But then it's been a roller coaster trying to have more kids. She said she had five miscarriages. And she said that they're doing IVF in January. So they learned a ton about the process. Basically, first off, not everyone does the gender test because it's super expensive. It's called PGS pre implantation genetic diagnosis. And it's never covered by insurance almost,

it typically runs about $8,000 to find out the gender before you so basically the gender selection part of it costs about $8,000. Wow. So that's, that's why some people choose not to do it. And then she said with this testing, they take every good embryo you make and she put making quotes and they test it. And the test just make sure that each embryo has no genetic issues. So for her situation, they are doing that only because they've three out of five of the miscarriages had genetic issues. And

she says you can choose to not know the gender or you can choose the gender or you can choose to do both. So then you have like, she put in quotes, God choose whichever out of the boy or the girl. Right. And she already has girls, but her husband wants boys and she wants more girls. So she was just basically saying that but PGS is pre implantation genetic screening. Sorry, I said it wrong the first time. But that's what that was. That was that message. Wow. Well, very interesting. So you guys, the

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code coffee at Brooklyn.com. That's B R O O K L I N E N dot com promo code coffee. Let's get back to the show. Well, since we are kind of doing follow ups, I appreciate everybody who sent me messages about dog training. And probably the thing that I took out of it the most was something so simple that I didn't even think of. And it was just using a retractable leash because they go so far. So I still have control of her, but she still can kind of like, you know, go far enough, but I can

also kind of pull her back so that she knows where she needs to stay. So I really appreciate that advice. And I have also started kind of googling about dog training and taking her to do dog training with just me, since I am the one that's home with her every day for the most hours of the day. So I really do appreciate that. And the teacher gifts as far as I could see and the messages that we got were teachers do not like knickknacks. And this is actually saw that this is actually coming from

teachers that responded. And so I didn't take stuff down that was like from just moms, I try to take it from the teacher's perspective. And they said no knickknacks, but they loved gift cards and stuff like that. So I guess with teachers being on limited salary and whatever that they just prefer to have the gift card. So that was good advice. And I appreciate it. Honestly, that actually I always feel like gift cards are easier for things like that too, because you just don't. Yeah,

like the teacher is there for your your child, but you don't really know them well enough typically to like, buy them a knickknack or like something that you, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to spend money on gifts that they're not going to use or they're not going to like, like, I'd rather just buy a gift card that I know will get used. Well, exactly. And then also, kind of back to the talks of school shootings, there was a very interesting message that

we got and I so appreciate it because I didn't even know this book was out there. But it was a mother's reckoning. And the woman who wrote it son was a Columbine shooter. And it talks about how to approach mass shootings. So that is going to be something that I'm going to purchase and read because I'm just very interested to kind of see with her having, you know, really close connection to that to see her take on it. And the person that you said her son, her son was the Columbine was a

Columbine shooter. Yes, was a Columbine shooter. I will be interested to read what her take on it is. And just to see, you know, as a mother of a child, like seeing the other side of it, you know, a mother of a child who committed a heinous act like this. And then her perspective on mass shootings, because wasn't that like the first mass shooting that was really publicized? I mean, that's the first one that I knew about, but me too, there's, I think it was really publicized. So I'm not sure if

there were other ones prior to that. Yeah, so that was just something that I found interesting and something that I'm definitely going to read. And I'll let you guys know how it is. So other than that, Kale, how was Thanksgiving? Honestly, my Thanksgiving was not great. I don't really want to talk about it because I feel like I told you kind of like what happened. Towards the end of the night was a lot better. I went

over to my friend Jen's house once the kids went to their dads and I helped her design her little gallery wall or her collage wall in her living room. So that was a good time. And then I was home and in bed by 930. And yeah, so the night it's the day started off rough for me. And then it ended up being good, I guess. How was yours? Mine was good. You know, we were recovering from Disney. So, Right.

Yeah, I was exhausted by the time I got back from Disney. And thank you to everybody sending me messages checking on us. That was really encouraging. Just to know that there are moms out there that care enough to check on me knowing that I'm going to be struggling through the Disney park. And yes, so blessed to be able to take my family to Disney. However, we were in the park for 16 hours on Sunday. And to say exhausted would be an understatement. I literally thought by the time it got time

to get on the monorail to get back to my car, I thought that I could not walk anymore. I hate Disney for that reason. Kale, I literally thought that I could not do it anymore. And I will just give you a brief overview about our day. And you can probably continue to say that I'm crazy because I know that you will and you're going to say that you would never do this stuff. Correct. So to start our 16 hour day, I had

scheduled a breakfast at Chef Mickey's, which was really, really difficult to get the reservation in the first place and didn't realize like with that being our first breakfast on property, I didn't realize how long it would take to actually get there. And nobody's in a rush to do anything. And I feel like that's just life in general. Everybody's kind of like on their own speed and just doesn't care about like other people's plans. And so Disney dining actually says you need to be

there X amount of time before the reservation. And then if you're not there when they call your name, then like, you're basically done, like you don't get to do it. So I'm like, oh my god, I've told Jackson all about this, like we're running behind the train was late. And then we had to take the train like to the park and then walk to the resort. I was just like, oh my god, this is a disaster already. But by the time we got there, it was so good. And I'm so thankful that we ate like a

really big breakfast because I don't know how we could have done the day. But I'm telling you toy story by the time we got over to Hollywood Studios, which was like our first stop. Kale, we waited for two hours. No, no, no, slinky dog. Two hours. Nope. And the ride was all of 30 seconds. Like I'm not even getting. No, see, I would not. I'm not a fan of Disney. I am a fan from Disney from my couch, but I'm not doing the Disney parks again until Lux is like six or seven years old.

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this deal while it lasts. Let's get back to the show. Um we took Jackson on the Tower of Terror like worst mistake. No, that's so funny. I took Isaac like for my 23rd when we went so almost four years ago. What did he do? Because I'm going to tell you what Isaac did. Okay, so you know Tower of Terror kind of looks like spooky to a five-year-old, right? So I only remember it from back in like my teen years, not when I was five years old because I guarantee you I didn't have

idiots that were taking me on there five years old. However, we were like, yeah, we're going to do the Tower of Terror. We've got a fast pass like yeah, this is happening. So we go and I completely forget like all of the parts of the ride. So I forget that you go into this room and it like basically scares the shit out of you going into it and basically says that people were electrocuted like on this like TV and it's got like all this static and it's scary and

then it gets pitch black and then you know the people that open the elevators look super spooky and it's it's just bad vibes all together. So Jackson is I'm not going on this ride. I don't want to do this. This looks scary and Will's like, no, it's great. Like you go all the way to the top and it opens up and you get to see the whole like Disney park and then you drop and I'm like, okay, probably should have left that part out. So we get in the like elevator or whatever and

it's all grown adults and this thing except Jackson and he is clinging on to me for dear life. Like I have no circulation left and my right arm none and the picture like at the end I'm dead. I'll have to post it for you guys so that you can see. We start going through and Jackson's like, this is so scary. This is so scary. Please get me out of here. Please get me out of here and the path like I didn't realize that there were different paths on the Tower of Terror. So I

don't remember it dropping like having hydraulics 20 times but the one that we went on it was like so many drops. So it was like, of course, that would be the path that we would get on. It would be like up and down, up and down, up and down and Jackson screaming bloody murder every time it drops and then when we finally get to where like we're getting off the ride, the lights come on and everybody is like looking at Jackson and Jackson screaming bloody murder and he's like, I

hate this. Oh, poor thing. And he was like, I'm never doing this ride again. Like that's the worst ride ever and he talked about it basically all day. Like we're not doing that again. Like he kept trying to get reassured. Like we're not doing it again. I bet he'll want to do it again in a couple years though. Maybe in a couple years but I think he's traumatized. I think he's like, no, this is never a thing. So Isaac was super pumped about the Tower of Terror and we got him

on it and he was like, I want to say he was five because I was twenty three and he's about to be nine. So yeah, um so he was five and when he got off, um well first we have a picture. I'm gonna have to post ours too. I gotta find it. Um he got off and he wasn't he wasn't screaming when we were on it. He didn't scream even when it dropped but when he got off, he looked at me and he goes, mom, I was morta tied. I was morta tied. So he said, okay, we don't have to do that again but I

think if I asked him today he would want to go back on it but he's about to be nine so I think if we ever went back if we ever went back to Disney, he would for sure get on it but that was that was the last thing that he said about it was I was morta tied. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna look for that picture. That's so funny. Please look for it and we can post both of our pictures together. Um so then we left Hollywood Studios and went over to Magic Kingdom and Jackson basically had like a

mid-morning like meltdown and so we shamed him for like 45 minutes telling him like how lucky he is and how you should not be crying at Disney and how a lot of kids don't get the opportunity to go and you know basically just like a good life conversation of hey like you're very fortunate like you should not be crying at a Disney park when we've taken so much time to come and do this to be able to spend time with you and so we took him into the hall of presidents as like a calm down

thing and so it was like very calm and he actually was like really into it which was surprising and really really quiet and at the end when they start like naming off all of the presidents it got to Barack Obama and everything was so quiet and then Jackson was like yeah. He was definitely supporting Obama and I was like oh my god please. But the best thing I'm just gonna go ahead and admit it the best thing out of the hall of presidents was the fact that

I thought that like the people were actors and not like dummies. What? Have you been to it before? No. No. Okay. So it goes through like the whole history of presidency and at the end they like pull the curtain open and it's like all of the presidents from the United States and it goes you know down the list and it names all of the presidents and I thought that it was like Disney actors that were up there like playing the president and it looked so much like every president and I was like

that is so weird and like the mannerisms and everything were like the same like especially Donald Trump it was like spot on and I thought it was they were using like the president's real voices but it was like not obviously the president's but it was I thought it was actors but it was really like dummies up there. Oh wow. And so I guess you learn something new every day. So at the end I told Will I was like I can't believe that person could have spot on mannerisms like Donald Trump like that was a really good

actor and Will was like what? And I was like he was like you're kidding right and I was like what are you talking about? Like I didn't know what he was talking about and he was like those aren't real people. So then there's there's that so leave it leave it to Lindsay. Yeah so we had a really good time and just exhausted as parents but always thankful that we get to do it and glad to be home so then I felt so dirty by the time I got home that I came home and like

thoroughly cleaned my house and started putting out Christmas decorations and now I am fully decorated for Christmas. Yeah I'm about half decorated for Christmas but I think this is where we stop you know I'm gonna just leave it right right where it's at because I thought about the fact that I even have to put away all the stuff that I took out and I didn't really take out that much or buy that much but the thought of like putting it back and like putting the tree back in the shed and stuff

like that is like I'm not ready for it so I think we're just gonna leave it where it's at. I have been planning my my pothead launch party for this weekend in New York and honestly I'm I got an event planner for it just be for the simple fact that I had like Lincoln's birthday party and then Christmas and you know we've been planning our Christmas party for the podcast so I did get an event planner and I literally left everything in his hands like I have no idea what this party is going to look like.

I don't know if there's a DJ I don't know like if it's like a party party or like a cocktail party like I know nothing. Well that's pretty true to like anything who I am life you know I mean it's right it's in keeping with who you are. So the products on the website are going to go live this Friday at 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time so supplies are for sure limited they're first come first serve obviously but it takes about eight weeks to order the products fill the products label the products like the

whole process so and truthfully I didn't know how this was going to go so I only ordered a limited supply of products so we'll see how how it goes but I'm super excited honestly for the party um I wish that you could come I know you're coming you know honestly so many people have sent me messages like are they going to meet me at the pothead launch and sadly I had to be like no because I'm trying to hold down the fort um for our Christmas party for the Christmas party the following weekend so unfortunately I'm not going to be able

to come but I know it's going to be awesome and I'm sure the pictures and everything are going to be great and everybody's going to have such a good time so you all will have to tag me and let me see all of your photos because I know everything's going to be beautiful and just so great and so much fun. Hopefully we're gonna um we're we're gonna do our best and I'm gonna show up and and I'm gonna you know we're gonna make the best of whatever the event planner has planned and just kind of hope that everything goes smoothly. Shopping for the kids easy

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percent off when you go to man crates.com slash coffee. This offer is only for the holidays buy one gift and get the second 25 percent off at man crates.com slash coffee. That's man crates.com slash coffee. Now let's get back to it. Can we talk for just a second about like going from house to house on Christmas and how everybody feels about this because I have major feelings about it. Wait what? Like going house to house for Christmas so like if you have a large family you try to like

visit everybody on Christmas day. Right. Is that a thing or like not a thing? It is. It is a thing and I think it's a thing for Thanksgiving too like it's so hard to decide like where to go especially if you have a huge family and you're you know you maybe split the holiday with your parents like if your parents are divorced. I know like I've talked about before like our you know we we have to split them but like later on in life like who do you decide where you go like how do you decide where you go. Well so for me

I just feel like that's so stressful and so much like drama trying to figure out like going place to place and what time you know I feel like everybody's like oh you should come here first or you should come here you know so I'm not about it and I just would be perfectly fine sitting at home and having a breakfast casserole and having. What the fuck is a breakfast casserole? You know like. No I don't know. A casserole. A breakfast casserole. That is some serious white people shit.

A breakfast casserole. Yeah like last last Christmas day I made a cinnamon roll casserole and made it overnight and so just put it in the fridge and then put it in the oven first thing in the morning and it baked while we were opening presents and then we just had breakfast casserole and then. What is a breakfast casserole Lindsay? Please explain. Okay well I just made one for Thanksgiving morning actually. I'm googling. No you're not googling. I made one for Thanksgiving morning and I just

did the frozen hash browns on the bottom of like a casserole dish and then I beat eggs and then you kind of like put that mixture over the hash browns and then I put meat I did hot sausage on top and then. So like do you cook the sausage and then put it on or like what is hot sausage? Yeah like you like ground you ground sausage and then put it on the top and then you put like a pack if you're gonna do already pre-shredded cheese it's already like two cups per bag so you just do like a whole bag of

the shredded cheese and then just bake it and then that's like everything you need for breakfast and like that one dish. Could you do bacon instead of the sausage? Yeah I think you can do you can substitute any meat. Oh wow okay I'm for sure doing that on Christmas morning. Yeah it's just easy and you don't have to like have a mess in your kitchen because it's already so chaotic you've got like wrapping paper everywhere so yeah it's just what the move. How long do you leave it in for?

Do you know off the top of your head? Yeah so I think I did 325 for 35 to 40 minutes. Oh wow okay that's perfect I might I'm I think I'm gonna try that. It's really good like it really is good and everybody likes it so you can also do like a side of like fruit or you know like fruit cups or you know like something on the side and it's it's good but yeah I mean I would be perfectly fine with just like chilling at home. Jackson loves to go to Will's parents on Christmas morning and so normally

after we do gifts and stuff at home then we eat our breakfast casserole kind of hang out for a while shower go to Will's parents and hang out there for the afternoon and this year we're doing a brunch so instead of like a traditional Christmas meal we're doing brunch so I'll let you guys know how that turns out. We growing up when I was with my mom we always did like I would do my Christmas morning and then we go to like my great-grandmother's house like she always

hosted all the events and then when she passed away we moved we had already moved away anyway so rest in peace Nana. She it kind of like never was the same after that like it's kind of like whoever has the room and wants to host will host and so this year for Thanksgiving it was like a little weird and I didn't want to go with my family so I went to Christmas in the afternoon and then for Christmas we're going to do at my aunt's house it's kind of always been there since my Nana died. We kind of just have Christmas Eve has

pretty much always been there but Thanksgiving is always weird so we'll do like Christmas Eve at her house and then come home and just be home for Christmas day and then I'll take the boys to their dads. Well that will be fun and you just have to like be in the moment and enjoy it and not like think about you know what? Yesterday we did family freaking photos and I tried to take your advice I don't know why you're laughing already because honestly it stressed me the fuck out and so

I can't live in the moment anymore that's not a thing. So here I am I realized okay it's November 26th if I want to get photos done for Christmas I kind of need to do it now only because by time I order the holiday cards which I'm doing through Minted I'm not going to be able to they're not going to get there on time they're going to end up coming for Easter when I ordered them in December you know what I mean like it was just too much. So I decided last minute to hire a photographer to do our Christmas pictures and I had my niece my nephew over

so I took five kids to old I decided on the Friday this past Friday that we're doing them Saturday I took my niece my nephew and my kids to Old Navy and I said these are the colors that we're doing divide and conquer we're gonna find these outfits so we go to Old Navy and we got all of our outfits literally in 30 minutes I was so proud and we took this session on Sunday from 11 to 1 was supposed to be our session I get there right at 11 it's a cute little area on the water with a little pavilion I think we're

I think we're gonna have you know I think it's gonna be a little difficult but not like too difficult because honestly like we've done we did family pictures in June or July for you know our house so I thought it would be fine well let's think about that for a second because Lux wasn't fucking walking yet well now he can walk and now he can run and now he can do whatever the fuck he wants so literally we're 17 minutes into the session and the photographer is like okay just give me five more minutes and we can be done

I said oh my god I'm just gonna dive into this ice cold water because at this point Lux is screaming when I try to pick him up he's running around he won't sit still he's completely stone faced like will not smile and he ran through a puddle and there was mud up to his freaking waist I said okay we're done here it's a wrap let's go like we're gonna have to use one of these bloopers for the Christmas card because this is real life right now I said I'm never taking family pictures again I looked at Isaac and I said when

y'all are grown this is what I want for Christmas for the rest of my life it's just yearly pictures from you guys and he looked at me and he goes this is awful I said I'm with you like I'm so with you so um yeah I was a little disappointed I had to pay the full amount for the two hours because I like we pre I prepaid which was a mistake on my part I should have paid afterwards um so I'm not really sure I almost feel like I should use one of the blooper pictures for the Christmas card as an accurate depiction of what my life looks like on

a regular basis well that's what I was saying whenever you were like I don't even know if I'm doing this or whatever and I was like no you're doing it I mean you should just do it however your life like really is like you don't have to be fancy with it or whatever just you don't even have to be matching it can just be chaos because that's your life so I feel like if there's a good blooper picture then that is true to your life yes I think that is going to be our Christmas card and honestly

um she said she was gonna get them to me in a couple days that was yesterday so I'm hoping this week we'll have it and then I'll order the Christmas cards and send them out I'm just over life with that so there's a buzzy gift on everyone's list this year it's something they'll use twice a day every day and it was featured on Oprah's O list can you guess what it is something I will use every day twice a day it's got to be quip a no-brainer best and cutest toothbrush ever yes so quip is the gift that everyone keeps

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5 000 verified five-star reviews quip looks like a big ticket tech gift with a stocking stuffer price starting at just 25 dollars and if you go to get quip.com slash coffee right now you'll get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush but you don't have to tell your gifty that that's the first refill pack for free at g-e-t-q-u-i-p.com slash coffee shifting gears a little bit um i just want to talk a little bit about mom shaming on instagram because oh perfectly honest i'm so sick of it

and just so sick of like women shaming other women just in general that it's just disgusting to me and there is this woman on my instagram that literally will just not stop and she's just a witch like truly like she just is and there's always that one person like i posted a photo of me in the laundry room it was like on a sunday or something and she comments on my pictures all the time and it's always something nasty and i just don't get it it's like

who are you first of all because i don't know you block her block her no like i don't even want to give her the satisfaction but obviously she was looking for somebody to talk about her so i'm going to talk about her um so she commented on this particular picture and i never respond to her but this time it really ticks me off she said she looks lost the maid must have already left first of all i don't have a maid i am the maid and the chef and the chef and the chef and the mom

the wife and the mom and i clean my husband's shitty underwear and like i do all this stuff so and you're the leader of carpool yeah so like come at me please so i responded to her respectfully and was like i don't have a maid happy thanksgiving and she keeps commenting back it's like i would have thought that that would have been basically like my nice way of being like go sit on a kick rock stick like i don't know like i thought it would have been like a nice way but clearly not and she just

keeps commenting back and she does it every single day so i think you need to block her i honestly think it's time and she's talking to herself on to go yep nobody's talking to her she's talking to herself and she comments stuff like she's responding to herself oh good so she's a little crazy i just don't understand and i don't understand like this is just like one particular person but it happens all the time and i just don't get it like everybody

can do good things and everybody can look cute and everybody can be great like why is this a competition i don't get it honestly i got a message yesterday that irked my nerve um the girl was like why is lux still using a bottle isn't he like 15 months old i said why are you messaging me about what i do aren't you like having your own life and she's like i just don't want you to i don't want his teeth to rot i said well i have two older boys who have never had a cavity so i don't need your unsolicited advice

like i don't really care if my son is using a bottle still i'm gonna parent how i want a parent i'm gonna parent how i know how to parent and quite frankly my kids have never had teeth issues so mind your business and keep it moving like i don't know why people feel like they can comment on other people's parenting or lifestyles honestly i mean why are you swerving over in my lane like move over move over stay in your lane stay straight

nose exags and will be good i feel like opinion should only be allowed if it's like an educated opinion and you're not just like coming at somebody to be coming at somebody so you shouldn't just be able to stick your nose and your two cents where it doesn't belong if it doesn't affect your daily life like i just don't understand that right right i agree i completely agree and i understand that anybody can comment about whatever they want to comment about good and great but i just want to have like a positive page and i don't want people saying like

negative stuff honestly though even if you had a maid your that's your prerogative so yeah there's nothing wrong with even having a maid like if i choose to have one then i'll go higher yeah i agree if you're gonna do one thing for yourself for the holiday season and if you haven't by now you really should try bio clarity i use the essentials routine and they have some awesome holiday bundles on their site right now i was just browsing last night and i picked a few and then another one of my favorite products that

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money back guarantee but you need to enter rcode coffee a full skincare routine and a free clarifying mask when you use rcode coffee that's bioclarity.com and enter rcode coffee now let's get back to the show moving on to a completely different note while we're talking about bullies I saw this article it was like a video and CBS had reported the story and it was about a high school student that had eaten lunch alone for years and I was literally sobbing watching this video and the boy was you could tell that he was kind of a loner

and had horrible acne on his face bless his heart and had these like big thick glasses with black frames you could just tell that he was like a sad person like the way that he looked it was just very sad and not until like his first day of school his sophomore year did student council actually come up to him while he was sitting alone and asked him to sit with them and his mom was like in this video and it was like an interview and she was saying that she would text him every day at lunch and ask him if he

was sitting alone and he would say yes he was and she said that every day she prayed at her desk and just asked like please god like someone sit with him please and so student council got involved invited him to sit with them at lunch and he sat with them for like ever and what they um what they said in the video was that he was born with a neurological disorder so he was a little bit different and he had never been invited to like parties or like any type of like social functions or anything

like that outside of school and it just broke my heart aw that's like um did you see the movie wonder no i didn't see that oh my gosh you need to have jackson watch that movie i had my kids watch it and it's the sweetest um the little boy's name is augie i think um and i think was it julia roberts was the mom um wonder is so cute it's you know this little boy he has you know a bunch of um i want to say disorders maybe and he kind of is like a little bit of an outcast like the kids really don't play with him and um i don't know it's just

and then the older sister she kind of has like obviously she loves her brother but it's been hard for her because the attention has always been on her little brother um and not really her so she kind of feels like she's overshadowed by her little brother and it's just it teaches kids a really good message about you know just because kids look different doesn't mean that they are different it just means that you know they look different so um i had my kids watch it it's so cute it was in the theaters i want to say maybe last year i don't really remember but

it's a super cute movie um kind of along those same lines i'm definitely gonna try to rent that movie this weekend because um will is going to go and help his dad on saturday um and his yard he's got a bunch of stuff that needs to be cleaned up so jackson and i are kind of going to be free ranging on saturday by ourselves so um i was planning on taking him to see wreck it ralph and kind of do a movie day so that would be something good that we could maybe watch in the evening i don't know i just feel like

there's so much bullying and stuff that goes on that it's just so sad to see that there are kids that actually eat lunch alone or have to do things alone and i just feel like everybody should try to lend a helping hand to like somebody else and not like make fun of people like i just i don't get it i don't understand i think there's a lot of factors that go into it um speaking of difference i know this doesn't really compare but um i told you how linkin was colorblind right yes so

everyone's really been everyone's been messaging me and asking me about it since i tweeted about it um so i don't think that this is going to be on teen mom at all i we didn't really film about it i thought i had told my producer but i guess i didn't um that i thought he was colorblind i thought i told him that but i he says i didn't anyway um so i don't think that this is going to be covered on teen mom and i so i'm just going to address it here um basically why did i think that linkin was colorblind linkins this is going to sound crazy

which i just like i said in the tweet i am definitely crazy but just not not about this um i thought linkin was colorblind first because he was getting some colors wrong but um part of me thought okay maybe he just doesn't know his colors that well and then he started to get them wrong pretty often and i was like okay he definitely knows some of the colors like it seems like the brighter the color the more he knows uh but then he would get like certain shades wrong but what really made me believe this and this is where you're gonna think i'm

crazy is his sense of smell is so keen it's like so good he could literally smell the baby's diaper from the other side of the house or upstairs like he could just tell me oh mom the baby pooped like i'm like okay like thanks you know what i mean or like his sense of smell was so crazy and i was like okay so that's when i started doing research like he got chris's car color is red or his sister's car color is red and he told me it was black and then he was wearing a maroon basketball jersey he told me it was

black um he told me my green pants were i think he said they were gray or blue i forget what color he said they were my nails right now are like a shade of blue and he told me they were pink and i know for a fact he knows what the color pink is when he sees bright pink so he was and but his favorite color is orange and i know that his favorite color is orange because he painted um an ornament for the tree orange so like i know he can see certain colors so i didn't want to make it like known to him that

okay i think you know something is a little off um because i didn't want him to like question himself or make you know make him feel insecure especially if link if isaac's around and he's like oh you're colorblind you know what i mean like i didn't want him to feel you know different so i decided to do research on my phone i'm like looking on the computer and on my phone for like how do you know your kid is colorblind whatever and they came up with these different circles and you they usually have like a pattern in them or a number in them have you seen them

no i haven't seen that so like say the circle has like all these dots that are green and then you you see the number 12 in like red dots or something like that right and there's like a bunch of them in different colors and different patterns and stuff like that so i looked at those online and i asked i asked linkin can you tell me what numbers in the circle and he was saying no so i was like okay so i was like let's take you to the eye doctor so i made him the appointment up last wednesday and i took him and his vision's a little off but not

enough to like get him glasses or anything and then they did the color blind the color stuff completely failed like just completely failed and i was like i knew it like i knew he was colorblind so he is in fact colorblind i thought he was colorblind because of his sense of smell and just getting certain shades wrong but it seems i haven't done the test where you ask them to pick up a red marker or crayon and then they draw a line right yet because i we just haven't had time but basically you can kind of like

gauge like the the level of colorblind or color deficiency in them but it won't really affect him in the future i just you know it seems like the brighter the color the more he can see it so like he can see orange he can see hot pink he can see he still confuses lime green and yellow like he can't just differentiate the two of them like or or purples and blues he can't tell the difference and sometimes with shades of green he can't really tell the difference in those

so we're kind of i mean we have the option of going up to the hospital like the bigger hospital in Delaware to see where he falls on the spectrum but i just kind of don't think it's necessary well i do know that colorblindness is more common in boys yes so they did tell me that and they said that it comes from the mother's side mother's side yes for in boys so i asked everyone i mean i didn't meet my dad till i was 17 but i did ask the family and it seems like nobody they know of um is colorblind on my mom's side or my dad's side they said in order for a girl to

be colorblind it came from both so like if Lincoln was to marry a woman who also has the gene for colorblind they could potentially have a daughter that's colorblind but typically they wouldn't pass it to a son he wouldn't pass it to a son got it if does that make sense yes yes so um i'm curious to see like how where it came from like i'm so i did the ancestor dna for like the nationality or whatever but um i don't know where it came from i asked everybody and no one seems to know

well i'm gonna be praying for Lincoln because i mean obviously there's things that could be way worse than him being colorblind however as a mother you don't want like anything to be wrong with your kids so when there's like a red flag and you feel like something's wrong obviously you're paranoid and you're gonna do like you're doing all the research to find out you know like where did it come from like where like how's it gonna affect him all of those things i mean

you think about it i mean really it could kind of be dangerous because think about whenever he starts driving like red lights green lights like stop signs oh wow i guess i didn't even think about red light green light you know i wonder but our red lights i guess you know top is red middle is yellow bottom is green like maybe if you're colorblind like you know which one is lit up though you know what i'm saying right but it's a different obstacle because someone who's not colorblind just looks i would imagine just looks at you know okay it's a red light i'm

gonna stop i don't really think about it being at the top i just see it's like red right right right yeah i see what you're saying yeah i mean i guess i didn't i wow i didn't think about that i just i laugh because i look back at all the outfit choices that lincoln has done and i'm like he really has put together like i let them dress themselves if we're not if we're not going somewhere super important i let them pick out their own outfits and i don't care if they match or not but lincoln has truly picked out like the most outrageous outfits like bright orange and like

lime green and i'm like okay like if that's what you want to wear that's fine and now or like the other day he picked out all gray like he picked out it was like a light gray top with like darker gray pants and like now i could see why he thought that matched or i don't know what he saw for like the brighter colors because typically he sees a brighter color so i'm like hopefully one day you'll have a nice a nice little wife or or husband whatever and they pick out your outfits for you so um yeah hopefully so

um i want to talk about something that really like hit home for me when i was in church and you don't have to be a christian or religious or whatever for this to apply um i do apply it back to the bible but you don't have to um i just like was very interested when my preacher was talking about people being busy in life and how people are always trying to act like they're busier than what they are and how people feel like that you have to be busy to feel kind of validated in a sense

and like where in like this world did that change like social media social media social media social media social media because it's like okay yeah what he was saying was so true about how used to it was perfectly fine to be like oh yeah i'm taking a nap or i'm you know not doing anything or whatever but now you call somebody and it's like oh well you know i've got like 95 things that i've got to do and you know i'm only on like three so you know i'm kind of like a little bit too busy for this and i just feel like we live in such a

world that it's really sad to think about that you honestly have to go ahead yeah i will say that i'm very guilty of that because i i dated somebody um where this person didn't have as much on their plate as i do and so like i'm very guilty of i'm not like i almost judged this person because i you know they would call me and i'd be like well i'm doing this this and this like i can't you know i can't deal with this right now and like they wouldn't do have anything going on and i'd be like well why are you doing that like why

don't you go do something productive and now i look back and i'm like wow i was a huge see you next tuesday like i don't have that right and i don't have just because someone else doesn't have as much going on doesn't make them any less of a person or have any less feelings than i do um but i truly think part of it comes from social media like true social media is truly a blessing and a curse because obviously creates jobs and it can help businesses and this and that but also if you don't look like you're doing a certain amount of things or you're going to certain functions or you're

you know working x amount of days per week or you're a state home mom versus a working mom you know social media truly i think gives us illusion to people that this is what you're supposed to be doing and i agree and like in so many like ways social media is good but in so many ways i feel like there's a lot more negative with social media than there is positive and basically my pastor was just talking about how like a lot of distractions in life too and if you're ever distracted when you're doing something it's because what

you're doing is an important as important is what your mind is going to so that kind of like hit home for me too because a lot of times i'll be doing something but i'll be thinking about something else yes and it goes back to like that busyness of oh i'm doing this right now but like i have this to do and like i need to do this and i kind of came home from church and jess was like okay whatever needs to be done is just not going to get done like i'm going to use this as a day of rest and i'm just not going to do anything and i did that and i felt so

much better just trying to like not be busy yeah i definitely feel what you're saying i think that that's important just like a mental day to just regather refocus but then you know there are of course those times where you just don't have like there really is so much going on that you just don't have the time for that but then once you do like decompress and like de-stress then obviously it's like all well worth it and you have to like refocus anyway yeah obviously you can't do that every day

however i do feel like it's okay to like not be busy it's okay if you pick up the phone and somebody say oh hey what are you doing well you know i was about to take an app like that's okay i um yesterday was so stressful with the pictures and stuff the family pictures that by time we were done we ate i came home i kind of straightened up around the house a little bit and i i have certain things that i have the boys do before they go to their dad's house and i was just kind of like

ready to pull my hair out um not because of them um but just like just looking at the day and like okay i have so much i have to do this week before i go to new york for my launch party that i'm like i need to get this stuff done so anyway the boys ended up like cleaning their rooms and doing what they had to do before we had to go to their dad's so i ended up dropping them off a little early so that i could come home and just like rethink about what how i'm going to do things you know what day is going to be for what and just kind of refocus and then

now i feel like after a podcast today i can get some things done that i didn't do yesterday and just kind of re re strategize what strategize is that a word yeah for sure um while talking about strategies i have been so on the fence about like starting chores with jackson i know we've talked about it before um and it didn't really like hit me until when i was at church on sunday that they do like an offering

in his sunday school class and trying to teach jackson like even if you're not religious or if you are whatever um that you know you give for people that are in need so like if you're giving to the church the church is giving to the people in the community or maybe like people around the world that need help and if you're not religious and you don't give to a church then you can give to any type of cause like find something that you support you can give to it um and i think it's like the time for jackson to start

doing chores and me pay him weekly and then him have to give some of his own money to like his sunday school class or you know whatever it is so that he can kind of learn that okay you make x amount of dollars and then you give x amount of dollars to your church or x amount of dollars to whatever cause that you're supporting because i feel like me growing up if i gave money at church it was because somebody gave me money to give it wasn't because i earned it and i feel like

he needs to do stuff to earn it i'm not saying he needs to get like on his hands and knees like scrubbing floors but something to make him like feel accountable but like how much money is like normal amount i don't know i don't know because how much do people give at church well just by basically like what you're supposed to do it's like supposed to be like 10% is what you're supposed to tithe 10% of what of your weekly income yeah 10% no you don't have to that's just like what is

wait for real yeah 10% you tithe when they pass that basket around you're supposed to give 10% of your weekly income yes time the fuck out let me do some math real quick hold on i just i don't know because i don't i don't go to church i don't know this is not a thing for me so i'm just trying to say like what would be the average the average salary in pennsylvania where i'm from is about 50 000 almost a hundred dollars a week to the church yeah nobody can nobody today can afford that there's no way

i don't think everybody you know tithes 10% but that's that's like a week that's so that is so much money i cannot like growing up my mom's rent in our two bedroom apartment one time i mean this was when i was young like real young like like maybe 10 or nine or 10 we lived in this two bedroom apartment we lived there for like i don't know two or three years the rent at that time was like 400 in something and my mom was struggling to pay that

well i've i've always like basically been told that you give until it kind of hurts and then that's when you fully see the benefit of giving um i don't think everybody ties 10% but i just think for jackson i want him to learn kind of okay if you make let's say he makes five dollars a week and chores and stuff yeah for chores let's just say round even number five dollars and he gives 10 to the church that's what like 50 cents but still he's learning to take out of

his own money to give to something else versus me just giving him 50 cents like what is he learning from that right if he doesn't really know where the money comes from he doesn't know how it's earned and then it's given to him to give away right okay i see what you're saying right so but that doesn't just mean like to church that could be for anybody to like a charity or some you know somebody in need yeah i see what you're saying yeah for anything you know like the church does um

the kids like on the trees every year that you can um sponsor a child for christmas or you know whatever it could go towards that like it could go really towards anything and you don't have to go to church to sponsor a child for christmas they have trees everywhere that you can go and you know sponsor a child so i don't know i was just like trying to get advice on what would like the chores be for an almost six year old and what is like a normal amount for weekly chores

let me know i don't i don't see this is where it gets a little tricky for me because i feel like they're it's hard because it's like do you pay your kids for shit that they're supposed to do i know and see i kind of have that battle too however i i battle those all the time like i i don't i feel like though they can't they can't go out and like get a job right so the only way that they can make money would be if they were doing

these chores and obviously as they grow up when they're 16 year old like 16 years old you're not going to be paying them because they made their bed because they're probably gonna have a job doing something else by that point but it at least like gives them incentives i also feel like yes while you shouldn't pay them to do what they're supposed to do at the same time it's like when you're an adult i mean you're gonna have to work right so you shouldn't

do not pay the person for doing what they're supposed to do which is work like that you know what i mean so it's like one of those things where it's like because i joe and i will you know give isaac some money for when he made high honor roll so give him some money but like should we be even doing that because that's what he should be doing anyway should we be paying yeah because that's the same thing that's the same thing as chores like you're paying him to make good grades right he has that's what they're supposed to do but

the person you know a person when they get older they're supposed to go to work so but i guess you're not paying them for going to work you're paying them for the work that they do i don't know it's a weird thing i don't know how i feel about any of it because like i struggle with it too like i don't know it's like you go to work for the for the reward of getting paid well you do chores for the reward of getting paid well you have to you know keep up with your household

regardless when you're an adult you don't get paid to keep up with your house you know i don't know what yeah i would love to hear everyone's take on this honestly yeah because i just it is like a tricky topic and how do you justify but i do feel like if they're you know pitching in and they're helping then they should get a reward for helping and i'm not saying they're gonna get a reward for helping when they're grown because the reward is okay you have a clean house the reward is that you have a clean bed to lay

your head on at night i'm not asking him to like wash and fold laundry you know i mean right it's just like simple things that will become routine for him that eventually he will not be paid for but he learns to do them because he has incentive to want to learn to do those things and then eventually those things become routine right right right right i see what you're saying yeah i i'm super hard on isek i feel like sometimes um when it comes to

you know just like cleaning up and just like personal hygiene and this and that and link into now that he's five because i feel like these are things that they are going to follow for the rest of their life so if they're not doing something that they should be doing now they're probably not going to do it as an adult so when you first wake up in the morning you need to brush your freaking teeth don't wait don't wait until you forget and now it's one o'clock and you know what i mean or when you wake up in the morning you need to help you know feed the dog or

let the dogs out because as an adult that's what you're going to have to do like i want the you know good things to follow them as through adulthood and that goes for just like chores and work and all of that school well exactly okay guys that's all we have left for today if you have not purchased your coffee combos christmas party tickets they are available on coffee combos podcast dot com um tickets are limited so make sure you got yours while you can if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast

on instagram make sure you follow us over there um we do all new episode releases there any bonus episode releases you guys will find out on there and if you guys have not given us a five star review on itunes it's very easy you just search coffee combos podcast on the podcast app for itunes and you just scroll down click the fifth star and you can also leave a written review thank you guys so much for listening and we will talk to you guys soon

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