Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 57: Kail's Launch Party, Elf On The Shelf, Relationship Advice

Episode Date: December 6, 2018

Kail explains why she was in the middle of fasting & decided to have breakfast, why she forgot Lincoln's lunch & it's only Monday. Lindsie talks about the life lessons of "Ralph Breaks The Internet," & Kail admits to sneaking Chinese food into the theater. Lindsie talks about how she almost got ran over at Target. Kail discusses the chaos of her launch party. They discuss Elf On The Shelf, Kail talks about why they don't do Santa & how it's different than her childhood. Kail talks about having a hard time w/ punishing Isaac.They discuss ex-boyfriends trying to burn a house down, & more! 

Hey guys, welcome to the newest episode of Coffee Combos on bringing the energy for Lindsay this morning. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Um, well, let me just start off with today's Monday and I dropped Lincoln off at school and forgot his lunch. So after we podcast, I'm going to, I'm going to drop him off at lunch.

I also was supposed to be fasting for blood work this morning, but I forgot about the blood work and I agreed to podcast this morning. So then I was like, well, shit, then I have to fast like three extra hours. And so I decided to just eat. Oh my gosh. That's the worst. Like honestly, okay, I could probably fast for like a solid 12 hours and be perfectly fine.

However, it's like whenever you know that you have to do it, it's like a whole different ballgame. Right. Like until I remember, I went to go make coffee this morning and I was like, oh my God, I can't even have this. And this is for my Accutane. So I need to get my Accutane pills on Wednesday. So I have to get my blood work in today.

And I'm like, I literally, because well, if it was a week where I didn't have my kids, I would have woke up extra early to then go get, excuse me, go get my blood work and then podcast, but I have all the kids. So I had to get Isaac on the bus, Lincoln to school and then Chris's sisters here watching the baby for me while I do this. And I'm like, I can't fast for an extra three hours. Yeah. Three hours is a long time.

And especially when you have responsibilities, I've already been fasting for 12. Oh my God. So it's like, I'm hungry, a bitch is hungry. And then you ruined it. Like ruined. Honestly. So I'm going to have to go first thing in the morning to get blood work so that I can get my Accutane pills on time.

What did you do this weekend? Well, um, actually, well, since Will was at his parents on Saturday, Jackson and I slept in on Saturday morning, which was nice. And then we went to see Wreck it Ralph breaks the internet. So it was a lot of fun. Was it good? Cause my kids want to see it. Okay.

So I want to tell every parent and uncle, dad, mom, whoever's listening about Ralph breaks the internet because it was so stinking cute, like so cute. Okay. Good. Cause I definitely want to take the kids and there were so many like little life lessons in the movie too, which I don't really take Jackson to the movies because that's a thing that will's parents do with him. They always take him to see like whatever the newest thing is out.

And so that's their thing. So I try not to do movies with him because I know it's going to take away from something that they can do. Right. Right. And they enjoy doing that. But with this being like our first time in so long going to the movies, he was super excited about it, but I honestly didn't realize how much concessions were at the movie theater.

The movies are so expensive. They're like, that's why you have to sneak them in your purse. Like honestly, I took a poll because I always thought my whole life it was illegal to bring in snacks. I thought it was illegal to bring in snacks from outside, but I think it's just frowned upon, but it's like also it's frowned upon to pay $10 for a medium popcorn. Let me just tell you. Okay.

I get there and it's a young girl that's checking me out and I'm like, okay, well, maybe she's got it wrong. Like could be possible. Don't want to question her job abilities, but like this is a bit expensive. So I only ordered like a kid's pack. So that comes with like the popcorn, the gummies and the drink. And then I ordered a drink and a small popcorn. Okay.

Well, first of all, let me just tell you the small popcorn that I got. I would have fed a tribe. Okay. Right. So that's like not a small and two, the drink that I got was just like a regular drink, but it was basically like one of those like big gulps or something from like a gas issue. It was like a huge drink and I'm like, okay, I didn't order all of this, but like whatever. So she's like, that'll be $43.52.

And I'm like, um, $43, that's like a whole fricking dinner. Yeah. I'm like, I could have gone to Outback literally across the street. Um, yeah, about $43, the tickets were $8.99 a piece. And then basically every item was like almost $10. So that's where it added up. And I was like, wow, I didn't realize. I mean, not that it really matters, but I'm just saying like you don't really think of

cost of things, um, and $43 just to go see a movie seems like a lot of money. Yeah. That's why you got to sneak snacks in, snacks in to your purse, just let me tell you, okay. So we get settled in the theater and speaking of sneaking snacks in, there's a group of people like in front of me and they wait until like a really high-pitched commercial and then all popped their coax. That's so funny. I was like, really?

I just paid $10 for a drink, probably like $8.99, but still that's like close to $10. And they've all brought in a canned soft drink. So who's the idiot? Honestly, I'm going to tell you not the last time I went to the movies, but the time before that. Um, Chris and I were at the mall and the movie theater is across the street from the mall, but you know, they have a food court and I have a never full purse, um, which as you guys know is pretty big, um, or if you don't know, we'll post once you can see how big

it is. I actually got a whole takeout order of Chinese food and I put it in my bag and then I ate it when we got there. Okay. So right now, if I got into the movie theater and I smelled your ranked Chinese food, I would have been pissed. Oh, he definitely was like, people can smell that. And I'm just like, honestly, who doesn't sneak food into the movies at this point because

nobody's paying $100 for two people to eat some snacks, but kill. Nobody sneaks in a buffet. There's a difference here. It wasn't a full buffet. Okay. It was just like three or four things. Like if you want to pop your kid like a little popcorn and put it in a Ziploc, like go for it.

But you know what? I really wasn't planned for all of that. I really wasn't. And so I just got there and I was like, you know what, whatever it's going to be what it's going to be. Um, but anyway, so I wanted to tell you about these life lessons in the movie because I was just amazed at how well the movie was done. Yeah.

Tell me about it. So one of the first lessons that I picked up on in the movie was that it was okay to be honest. And we've talked about that in the podcast before and definitely Jackson picked up on it too, which I was like, wow, that's awesome that they can make it, um, relatable for relatable enough for kids to be able to understand what they're teaching them, but also cool enough for parents to be able to enjoy the movie too. Um, basically it was just talking about in the story that you can tell your friends how

you feel and in the end true friendship will grow stronger because of that versus sugar coating it. So I really liked that and I was like, wow, I could take some of this advice. Um, and then they go to the internet and that was really like a cool experience because it was like the whole world of the internet and the way that they depicted it was awesome. And they go, um, to eBay to try to get this part for a game that was broken so that, um, Vanellope who is in that game can, can go back to her game. And when she gets the internet, um, her and Ralph, it's so shady and scary and there's

all these like pop ups and it was talking about how like through the story that you shouldn't read comments and that people can be so hurtful on the internet. So I really thought, um, that was like an interesting play because I thought, wow, like kids are so young and this is a nice way in a cartoon type movie to, to put it that basically it's speaking to the masses that no matter who you are, people are going to be mean on the internet and you just have to not read the comments. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty accurate.

No matter who you are, there, there's always these internet trolls. Yeah. You, you have to kind of just not care. It's a lot easier said than done, um, some days, but yeah, I just really liked the, the play on it in the movie and then, um, Vanellope, she's kind of, she's a really cute like little character, but she is not princess looking. So she goes to Disney world to try to get likes and when she goes to Disney world, she gets, you know, and in the room with all of the princesses and basically the moral of

that part of the story was there's no right way to be a princess, you know, all of these princesses are absolutely beautiful and they all have like a unique, um, talent or, you know, whatever it is. And it was basically just playing on that and that, you know, to love your unique qualities and that if everyone was the same, that life would be dull. So I really liked that too. Oh, I love that. I definitely want to take the kids to see that.

So I'm like, maybe we'll go this weekend. Oh, actually, no, we won't because Friday is our Christmas party. So maybe we'll go Wednesday. You will not go this weekend. No. Um, speaking of that, our Christmas party is on Friday. That's so crazy. I feel like everything is happening so fast.

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That's man crates.com slash coffee. So after we went to the movies, I had like a few errands that I needed to run. I needed to like exchange some stuff and then I needed to go to Target and I had ordered the Jackson's tacky Christmas sweater from Target. And have you ever done like the pickup at store like where you already ordered online and pick it up? No. Scam, like total scam.

So Will goes to the store the other night to pick up the thing that I ordered online and they're supposed to have it ready. So he gets there and he says that he waits at like the customer service desk for a while and he saw the person go back to the boy's section and pick up the sweater and then bring it back. And I'm like, okay, that's really not how it's supposed to be set up. It's supposed to already be ready. Why are they hassling me over email basically like this is your last chance to come and

get your sweater that you already paid for, but it's not even ready. So I'm like, okay, whatever. So we'll get to home and it's got like a rip on it. And I'm just like, did you see that? Did you investigate the sweater before you brought it home? Like absolutely not. Investigate the sweater or inspect the sweater. Yeah, inspected, whatever.

Did you? Um, obviously not. So that got to be on my to-do list to exchange it. And when we went, of course, Jackson is like, oh, can we go to the toys section? We need to see if they have Benelope and Ralph so I can add it to my Christmas list. And I'm like, okay, so this is going to be hell. So go and exchange the sweater, go to the kids section and put all this stuff on his Christmas list.

So let's just fast forward a little bit because when we were getting there, it was basically pitch black and it was not late at night. Like I don't ever have Jackson out late at night. It was like six o'clock and pitch black and raining. And we go to cross the street at from the parking lot to the door at Target and almost get hit by a car. And I'm like holding my hand up and I'm like waving my hands and I'm like, please stop. Like please stop.

I'm basically like screaming at this lady and her husband's in the car and he's like, I guess also yelling at her and he's like, stop, stop. Like you can see him telling her to stop. And as we're like in the toy section and going around the aisles, this little lady finds us and she's, she asked me if my name was Lindsay and I said, yes, it was. And so I didn't know that was the lady that almost hit me. And she was like, oh my gosh, darling, I'm so sorry. I almost hit you in the parking lot and I just wanted to come and apologize.

And she said, I loved watching you on Chris Lee knows best. And I said, oh, well, thank you so much. And then she told Jackson, she was like, Jackson, I really miss seeing you on TV. And he was like, what station were you watching me on? And I'm like, Jackson, I'm going to need you to chill. I'm going to need you not to ask questions, okay? I'm going to need you to not do that ever again. Yeah.

So kind of turned into like a lengthy conversation, but very sweet lady. But the whole point of me saying that is that it's the holidays and even though this lady wasn't crazy, there are crazy folks out there and just watch where you're walking and where you're crossing because people this time of the year, they're so busy, you know, trying to get stuff done that their mind is like more like occupied than other times of the year. So just be cautious and keep your kids safe because it's a dangerous world. Just telling you, honestly, like you never know around, around department stores, malls,

anything like that. The car could come out of nowhere. Everything could cross out out of nowhere, like cross the street out of nowhere. For sure. So can you please tell me about your weekend? Okay, I'll tell you. So I went to New York on Thursday and it was just pure chaos from the second we got there until the second we left.

And yeah, it was madness. So Thursday we get there. Friday night is my party. We start getting ready on Friday. I was so nervous that people were not going to come to my launch party that I was like, I'm just going to wait in the car and show up late and hopefully people will be there. And then everyone's texting me like, Kale, where are you? Where are you?

Like you need to come up? Like there's people here. And I'm like, okay, fine. So I go up there and immediately like bombarded with like, they had like the hedge wall that we did because I wanted to do something that was like more like my brand, which, you know, step and repeat banners was not really what I wanted. I wanted like an earthy hedge wall. So we did that instead and we did a black carpet instead of a red carpet.

And as soon as you walk in, it was that. So I was like, as soon as I walked in, I was walked right into press. So I was like, okay, E news, okay, magazine, radar online, the Ashley reality roundup, they were all there. And I mean, it was so great. It was such a good turn out. A lot of, um, a couple, are you the one cast members came, uh, Landon Romano came, careless Morgan came there, um, on Instagram, they're so fricking funny.

And you know what's crazy? Actually one of my friends from middle school, um, I met him probably in eighth grade, ninth grade was probably the last time I saw him. He lives in New York now with his husband and he, they came and I was just so happy and just excited that everyone showed up and I know that you couldn't be there because we have our party this weekend and you know, I don't hold that against you at all. I just was, um, pleasantly surprised at the turnout and, um, actually a little overwhelmed because all these dispensaries and salons when a wholesale the product.

So yeah, I'm making, I'm doing business with direct to consumer, but I don't know how the wholesale world works and I don't, um, so I need to like figure out how to do that. But I remember when you first started this that like you didn't know what the interest would be and like didn't really know about wholesale from the jump. So this will be interesting. Right. Well, and people are not really truly educated on CBD oil and the benefits of it. And so, um, you know, I've been actually learning a whole lot about it even more as

I go. Um, I met with this company who does everything with CBD oil is called hemp garden. And they asked me what my target market was and I, I didn't really have a direct answer for that because I feel like CBD oil can be anywhere from 18 to 65, um, like the benefits of it are so great. But yeah, I'm excited to see what it does. And actually wanted to offer everyone who listens to our podcast a discount to potheadhaircare.com. If you use coffee combos at checkout, you will get a 10% off, um, code for anything

on my website. So that's only for our listeners and obviously I have to listen to this episode in order to get it. So, um, and it does not apply on any previous sales. So anyone that's already ordered, it does not apply to you. Um, it's just for our listeners today and it's a 20 or it's a 24 hour code for Thursday only. So it will go from the time that this episode airs until 24 hours after and that's it.

That's awesome. I got my press package and literally UPS and FedEx showed up at my house on Friday, probably four times in different vans and they probably were like, I hate this girl. Like, yeah, I hate her and your package was the last one to arrive and honestly, I wasn't expecting it on Friday. And so when I got it, I was like, what could this possibly be, but I had received so many other packages that I also didn't know what they were. So when I got it, I was like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe it got here so fast.

And I actually used the leave me be leaving conditioner on Saturday, whenever I washed my hair and the smell and the texture was so good. Like a lot of times with other leaving conditioners that I use, they can kind of be like a little bit too thick and feel like my hair gets too heavy. But with this, this one, it was just like really not watery. The consistency was just really good and it smelled good too. So I was super excited about that and I haven't had to use it. I haven't had to use the other products yet, but I will and I'll let you guys know how

I like them and I'll give an honest review. But yeah, other than that, I had a meeting with Hemgarden after that the next day or yeah, I guess it was the next day and then I was so exhausted on the way home from New York and I had my friends with me, it was Chris's cousin and sister and my sister actually flew up from Dallas and she came and she was flying at a Philly instead of New York. And so we were driving back to Delaware and I was so tired, I could not drive. I had to have someone else drive and then I slept so hard because it was just such a chaotic week into the weekend and then I feel like my adrenaline was pumping, I had anxiety

about the party. So it was just like a lot and then I slept so hard when I got home. That is awesome. I love the fact that you were- You just sounded like that girl from Mean Girls. Katie Herron punched me in the face one time. It was awesome. It was awesome.

No, it really is awesome though. You were so stressed, not stressed, but kind of stressed and worried. And then it ended up going off so well. So I was really sad that I missed it and felt like major FOMO. Honestly though, we'll have so much fun at our Christmas party, so I'm excited to see you for that. And I can't wait for you to meet my security guard because he's so funny. But he's not taking no shit, so don't try to show up to our Christmas party acting

a fool. Yeah, don't because first of all, I'm scared and secondly, I'm scared, so don't. And I just talk about how I feel like everything happens all at once in life. And I don't know if it's just a mom thing, if other people can relate. But I feel like, okay, if it's time for me to get my hair done, then it's also time for me to get my nails done. My eyelashes done. I need a facial.

I need like all this stuff. And I say- You've got to do it all at once, yes. But why isn't it like where you can do one thing one week, another thing another week. It just all happens at once and you feel like you have to get it all done like within a few days. I kind of like having everything done at once because it's like, okay, I can go get my toes, my feet, and my lashes done, which I did get my lashes done last week for the

first time in like a year. Did you go to someone's house? No, I did not go to someone's house. I went to someone's studio salon, so it was not someone's house. And yeah, I got them done because I was like, okay, I have my launch party this weekend and we're in New York. And then next weekend is our Christmas party for the podcast. So I was like, let me just, because I don't know how to put on strip lashes.

I'm not really good at makeup or anything like that. So I just figured that the lashes would be best. Yeah. For sure. But yeah, if you get a sitter and do all the things in one day, then you kind of have the rest of your days to do like errands and like other shit. Well, exactly. But I just feel like it's so expensive, like all at once.

Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Like where did that come from? Um, yeah, so I need to get my hair cut. I am going to get a facial this afternoon. And just so everybody knows, I don't live this push and posh life. I am going to get a facial this afternoon after Jackson gets out of school and he's coming with me.

So yeah, it is for necessity, not for relaxation. So I really wish I was getting a massage to relax, but actually the weekend after our Christmas party, I am going to like a little golf, golf like resort place for a day. And I think Will's gonna golf with his brothers and his dad. And then the girls are going to go to the spa. And I'm not quite sure if Jackson will ride in the cart with them in golf or if he will bring his tablet and go with me to my massage. Either way, it's fine.

That's always so hard because I feel like what, yeah, what do you, would he want a golf? Do you think? I mean, first of all, it's probably going to be cold. So, oh, yeah, people go from the cold. Yeah. And I'm like, how is that fun? First of all, I went to Topgolf for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Do you know what Topgolf is?

Yes. Actually, I like to go to Topgolf. I've only been one time, but that's fun. That's a whole different experience. I had so much fun, but I'm horrible at golfing. Like it was, I struggled like just to, I did not realize how hard golfing is. And I don't know if I was making it more difficult than it needed to be, but I struggled and I was really embarrassed, but also it was fun.

And I liked that it was outdoors, but it also had like those heaters and stuff like that outside so you could like enjoy yourself and not be frozen. I love to go and the appetizers are great. So I'm all down for a good time and good food and good company. So maybe I'll have my birthday party there. Yeah, definitely have your birthday party there and I will come. I'm not a good golfer either. So yeah.

I came in second at a four. So. Well, that's not bad. Yeah, we all sucked. Not bad, Smalls, not bad. Do you do elf on the shelf? Fuck no. I can't remember to brush my teeth once a week, so I'm not going to remember to move

a fucking elf around my house. No, we don't do that. Okay. So, you know how we were talking about putting our Christmas stuff up the day after Thanksgiving and I got mine up slightly sooner than that, right, which is amazing to me because you're not a slightly sooner person. So, um, I was amazed, um, anyhow, I got my stuff up. My tree up the day before Thanksgiving, but I didn't get any decorations on it or any

other decorations out until the day after Thanksgiving, as I said, because, you know, I'm a planner and I stick to my plans. So this was early, right? So it was not December yet and Jackson's like, okay, well, the Christmas stuff is out. So that means the elf is coming. And I'm like, no, elf does not come until December the first. We cannot think of like 30 something things to move the elf, like 25 is already enough. So 30, like not slightly.

So last night was the first night that we did the elf and Jackson is obviously learning to read now. And so I feel like he picks up on writing and he knows what my writing looks like. And I don't know if he knows what his dad's writing looks like. I don't know if we'll really write that much, but, um, I know that he knows what my writing looks like because I write in his lunchbox every day. Like I write him a note. And so I had to like distort my writing for the first time doing the elf.

And that was hard. Like it's so hard to change something that is just like a natural thing to do. Does that make sense? Yes. Yes. And I don't know why that made me think of John Bonnet Ramsey and the mom who did ransom notes just like, that's immediately where my mind went was like, because I remember them saying in the documentary, like you at first it looks weird, but then you can only

hide your true writing and characteristics for so long. Yeah. And I was trying to like make every letter different. But then I look back at the picture and I'm like, okay, um, none of those letters look really that much different than how I write. It looks the same as my writing, just like in a different way. Does that make sense? Right.

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That's liquid-iv.com promo code COFFEE. That way get hydrated today. What's next? So basically what I did for the first arrival of the ELF was we have a little Christmas truck that's like a decoration and it's like a vintage looking truck and it's got like a wreath on the side of it and I put Elfie in the back and he was riding in the back of the truck with the Grinch that stole Christmas movie and I wrote a note and that was our first night.

However, I want to know if you guys are creative enough to come up with your own ideas or if you want me to share my ideas daily so that you can either copy them or make a version of your own. I know it's so hard to come up with creative things. I feel like once you have done it for so many years, then it's like, okay, well, he's already done that and he's already done that. So I'm trying to come up with other ideas and I have a list of things that I'm going to do.

So if you guys want me to share, then just let me know in the comments on our Instagram. What is the purpose of Elf on the shelf? Where did, how did it start and like what, because he does bad things, right? He's bad? Yeah. I try not to make our Elf do bad things because I don't want Jackson to like get any ideas. Kind of like mischief though, you know, like he might get into something, but I try to make it more cutesy versus like making a whole mess because to be perfectly honest, I don't

want to clean it up. Like one time I did the flower and he was like doing the snow angel and that was kind of a mess on my counters and I was slightly freaking out, but I was like, you know what, it's for the, it's, it's for the child. So it'll be okay for however long it's going to be on the counter. I probably lost sleep, not going to lie. But what's the purpose of it? Is it just for fun or does it teach him a lesson or like what, I don't get it.

We use it more for fun and like accountability. So Jackson knows that like the elf is watching and he is Santa's helper. So he'll let him know, like if he does anything bad, that's how we use it. I'm not sure how other people use it. Um, yeah, also let us know how you use it. And if you use it, like if your elf like really gets into stuff and like does bad things or how it's used because I would be interested to know different people's takes on that. I think it would be hard for me to start elf on the shelf anyhow, but just because we don't

do Santa, I think it would be like, yeah, my kids know that Santa there, some families do Santa and there's elves that help him, but I don't think that they would put two and two together. Like it would be weird if we don't do Santa, but there's an elf at our house. You know what I mean? Yes. And really speaking of that, um, somebody had asked us a little while ago why you don't do Santa and if you did Santa as a kid and what made you make that decision to not do

it? Uh, I did Santa as a kid, um, my family always did it. My cousins made me reindeer food every year and I did that. And um, actually I met up with my cousin in the city on Friday and was talking about that with her because it, it does feel a little bit less, um, magical, I think because we don't do Santa now, but we don't do Santa because, um, Isaac was probably two when I met, was turning two when I met Javi and Javi's never grew up with Santa. That was never a thing for him.

They always opened all their gifts on Christmas Eve. And so we kind of just adapted to those, um, traditions, I guess, when Javi and I got together and we were together for five years. So I mean, at that point, you know, Isaac was seven, eight years old, um, and so Lincoln, it was the same. And now that we're not together, it just, we had already gone seven, eight years without doing Santa. So it didn't really make sense to start.

Right. And, um, last year we didn't really do Christmas at my house. They just went, they went to their dads. I don't, I don't know if Joe does Santa. I don't know if that's a thing. It does feel a little bit less magical because I remember like, I would wake up in the middle of the night as a kid when I, when I did live with my mom and, um, you know, Santa, did Santa come yet?

And we'd put the reindeer food out and we'd put the cookie out and, um, but my kids don't, they're not missing anything because they never had it. You can't miss what you'd never had, you know what I mean? You know, I think that they know other families do Christmas, but I'm hoping like hell they're not telling people that Santa isn't real. That's one thing that I'm hoping that they don't do. So guys, I'm sure you have all started your holiday shopping by now. And if you have a partner like my husband who doesn't really wear cologne, Scentbird

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Right now I'm still on the Gucci bamboo by Gucci kick. I love it. Um, and I feel like it's like an everyday fragrance I can wear. So you can try exactly the brands you want. It's the real deal. It's kind of like my monthly scent adventure, um, choose a perfume and then they'll send you a 30 day supply that sprays 120 sprays and you can always smell amazing. I like to skip department stores and pushy sales people.

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friends or whatever and they don't seem to have any issue with it. Well, that's interesting. I love to hear like how different people do. I did grow up with Santa. So obviously that was like a natural thing for me to do with my little one will grew up with Santa. So, um, that was just something that was never really a thought to like not do it, but I will say after starting Santa and then thinking of, okay, well, I'm teaching my child not

to lie and like it's not okay to lie. But then yet I'm have like, I'm promoting all these fictitious like characters and like making up that this is real. Um, is that like the right thing to do or yes, I, I don't, there's a, to me anyway, I think that there's a complete difference between like lying and then believing in Santa or the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. Like I think they're two different things like, yeah, it's not truthful, but at the same time it's like that's, I don't think that believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny

was ever, ever harmed anyone or taught them to lie. I don't think that's, I don't think that's a thing. Yeah. So I think I'm just like paranoid. So the funny thing is though was that Jackson said the other day, he was like, mom, I really think that I need to write a note to Santa and tell him that would be a good idea for him to be more healthier because eating all of these cookies is not good for him. This is true.

Good job, Jackson. He's just watching all for Santa's cholesterol. That's all. Yeah. Like, oh my gosh, I love it. I was going to say something. I don't remember what it was. Um, something about Christmas.

Oh, I had to talk with Isaac last night because he just, I don't know. I don't know if it's sibling rivalry. I don't know what it is. So I told him, I said, listen, like, we got to make better choices here. I don't like, it's one of those things like, what do you do when your kids are not behaving or making good choices because Christmas is right around the corner and then Isaac's birthday is three weeks after Christmas. And I don't know, like, have anyone has anyone that listened to our podcast ever not given

their kids Christmas gifts because of their behavior, because obviously you say like Santa's watching or you guys do the elf that the elf is watching, but like, are you guys holding true to when you say if you're not behaving, you're not getting a Christmas gift or you're not behaving, you're not getting a birthday gift because I feel like I'm struggling with that right now because obviously it's Christmas or it's a birthday and like, you don't want, I told Isaac yesterday, I said, you do not want to wake up on Christmas morning and see your brother's opening gifts and you're not, but that would be so heartbreaking for me. But sometimes I feel like it, I have to stand true, like stand my ground.

We talked about it before, like following through with the consequences. That's so hard when you have other kids because, right. I think it's easier being a mom of one with that because I can hold him accountable and there's nobody else that's doing the other stuff for him to have to see, you know what I mean? Yeah, because I would hate for if Isaac was not behaving and then he didn't get any Christmas gifts, but he sees his brother's like, I think that would be like, okay, he thinks that not only did he make bad choices and he's getting punished for that, but then he might think

that I don't love him as much as I love his siblings. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I don't want him to feel like, oh, you love Lincoln and Lux more than me. So maybe you do the play of, you know that you're doing Christmas on, you know, whatever day you're doing Christmas, you're doing Christmas on Christmas Day this year. So maybe you ground him, I don't know if you believe in grounding or, you know, taking things away, but maybe you do that the week leading into Christmas. So then he's coming off of it.

So it's not like you're rewarding bad behavior and he's already had his punishment. I see what you're saying. Okay. So then he wouldn't be left out of like Christmas or, you know, right? Because he's already paid his debt, basically, right, right. You can't, I mean, you can't keep punishing for the same thing, you know, right? So I just, I don't know. It's one of those things where I gotta, I gotta figure it out because I had a nice long

talk with him, it seemed like he told me he was going to make better choices last night. He said that he makes good choices at his dad's house, so he wants to make good choices here too. I said, okay, well, we'll see because Christmas is right around the corner, your birthday is right after that, and we got to figure this out. And I truly haven't gotten him anything yet because I didn't know what I, I didn't know how to deal with that situation. Right.

Well, maybe just think about that suggestion and also it's far enough away. So guys, if you have any suggestions for Kale on this parenting journey, then make sure you send us a message on the podcast Instagram and give her some advice. Yes, for sure. Okay, you guys, so I don't know about you, but I love my cozy bed, especially with winter right here. I want to be as comfortable and warm as possible. You guys know the typical person spends about one third of their life in their own bed.

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That's B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N dot com promo code COFFEE. Let's get back to the show. We got a message on the Instagram and it was a person seeking advice. The question was, I'm seeking advice for a married couple who just are on the same page with having another child. I had both my kids really young and now that I'm in a good place, I'd like to have one more, the way you're supposed to. My husband isn't on board.

I had my son before I met my husband, but my daughter, we had together. I was 18 and he was 20. We've been married for almost eight years and I'm ready. I'm ready, but he's content with things the way that they are. As a result, I'm finding myself so torn. Please help. Oh, that's so hard because I actually know people that have been in that position and I never know what to say because my thought process was always, you know, you will never

regret having a child. You're not going to, you're going to love your child. You're never going to regret having that child, but you may regret not having a child. And I don't know that for me, like I want more kids. So I don't know that I could be with someone that doesn't want to have more kids. Like I don't know. I don't know if that would work out for me. So I don't know what to say to people like that.

And I've seen it so many times. Yeah. I mean, I think for me that I would have to decide if staying with the person meant more to me than what I was giving up or if what I was giving up was too much to stay with the person. I don't, that's such a hard like, and especially for this person because they already have a child with this person and they've been married to them. But the first child was not peers together.

So he, okay. And it's like, you don't want to convince somebody to have a child with you. You know what I mean? So it's like one of those things where I've always said that about with will, you know, if I was at a point where I definitely wanted another child and he's already, you know, voiced that he doesn't have a desire to not to say that he hasn't already changed his mind. I'm just saying that if he truly did not have a desire to have another child, that would

be like a hard pass because I'm not going to have a child with somebody that I know that they don't want it because I don't know what I'm going to face once I have the child. Right. Is it going to be, yeah. I think that's just so hard. I think you have to decide if, like I said, if you having another child means more to you than your marriage to him or if you, your marriage to him means more to you and you just give up the dream because you already have a healthy child.

So then what's the alternative though, if she was to leave him, I mean, yeah, I guess she could have a child on her own, but what kind of, and I'm not, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it because I've definitely considered it like you could have a child on your own, but then what does that look like for the dynamics of the whole, like all the children or you're going to what, you're going to leave him for someone else who does want a family, but then look at the timeframe on that. Okay. So you, in worst case scenario, you leave him and you're with somebody else and they

eventually want kids and this, that and the third, that's going to take time. That's going to take, that could take one year, two year, three years or more. And then at that time you might have changed your mind and realized that you don't actually want to have another child. So then you've, you know what I mean? So I mean, what about like foster to adopt or foster children where you're, you're having another child, maybe not necessarily like your birth child, but you're having a child, you're having that connection and maybe you eventually foster to adopt or, you know what

I mean? Because maybe for the dad, maybe it's the baby stages that are hard. I have a cousin who just like, he could not relate or like, he just had a really hard time with the baby stages until they were able to walk and talk. Like then he was, Right. And I think a lot of men, you know, go through that, that that, that is hard because babies are typically women's babies, you know, and then their work, their work.

Yeah. And it is hard. But I think maybe the best thing to do is find out why he doesn't want another child and all of those reasons and then put your reasons of why you do want to have a child and put those together and see what you can come up with collectively. Yeah. Whether it's adoption, foster care, maybe you guys just, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Maybe there's an, yeah, maybe there's an alternative to having your own children.

So let us know if you're listening, let us know how it goes and we wish you nothing but the best. Of course. Y'all, it's the holidays and a season of giving. So I think that you should treat yourself. I am obsessed with third loves, essential organics, robe and pajama sets. And of course, my first love, the third love t-shirt bra with more sizes than most other brands, third love is an industry leader with 70 sizes, including its signature half cup

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So right now they're offering our listeners 15% off your first order. Go to thirdlove.com slash coffee now to find your perfect fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase. That's thirdlove.com slash coffee for 15% off today. What's next? The next thing that we got is for us to talk about why it's so hard for young women to be able to leave a situation that you know is not going to end well. All these things are so relatable.

Honestly, I have no advice on that because there's been so many times that I just don't leave a situation that I know is not good for me. I cut my mom off when I knew that wasn't good for me, but when it comes to like relationships or friends, like I will let someone just use me and use me and use me and use me and use me and I don't ever cut them off until I should have, you know what I mean? Like when I should have cut them off a long time ago. Right. Yeah.

That's so hard. That is so hard and especially when you feel like you've either known a person for a really long time or you have already invested so much time, you feel like you've wasted all of that time. So it's easier to stay in that same mindset and in that same situation because you feel like if you get out of it, there's been so much time lost. I think a lot of people struggle because of that. I don't think that I would stay for that reason though.

I don't know what it is. I've definitely stayed in relationships though that are honestly would say that I stayed for all of my relationships for too long. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I think like, I think we have this like want and desire to like change that person or stick around until it gets better and you want to hope and just wish that the situation will be better or like in a relationship with your significant other, you want to be the reason

why they change. You want to be the reason why they do better. You want to be that reason and so you stick around hoping that that's going to happen and then it's like after all is said and done, it's like you went through all this bullshit for someone else to reap the benefits of your significant other growing up or doing better or treating them right. And it's like, well, damn, I wasn't. I was just a stepping stone.

At least that's what I've experienced in my life. I don't know about other people, but that's what I've experienced like, okay, I went through all this bullshit and tried to help you and change you and make you a better person. And then it didn't work out. And then now you're with somebody else and they're, they're having the benefits. Yeah. Of the stuff that I grew with them for. Does that make sense?

That was my biggest hang up with my first separation from will. Honestly, I said that over and over again that I've been through so much like we went through college together. We went through so many life changes together. We worked together when we were 19 years old. So, you know, it was really first serious boyfriend and girlfriend first for, for both of us. We did the whole college life, so like partying together, you know, his whole baseball journey

together, his first job, everything together and bought our first house together, had a child together. All of those things are hard to just like give up and to say, okay, well, like I can fully a hundred percent say I'm okay with leaving this. And that was such a hang up for me for whatever reason. And I did say over and over again, you know, I have done all of this stuff with him. Like I've helped him learn to keep a place, you know, I've helped him learn not to wash all of your clothes together.

I've helped him, you know, learn to do things and vice versa, like he helped me in different ways that, you know, I couldn't help myself and I helped him in ways that he couldn't help himself. And that's hard to just throw in the towel and be like, okay, I basically seasoned you and now I'm going to let you go, you're going to let me go and whoever we're with next is going to reap the benefits of all of the hard work that I put in and you put in. Yeah. Yeah.

That sounds about right. Horrible. And I think that's why so many people have a hard time with divorce and then finding your next partners that naturally there's going to be resentment there towards that person and you don't even know them. Yeah, that's pretty much it, I mean, and even like I've been in relationships where it's not just like life things, but it's like, okay, we, you know, we've had like a mutual friend die or we've cheating, we get through it and now all of a sudden we're in a good

place and we're going through this and we're going through that and we get through all a bullshit. You know what I mean? Like we get through anything that life can throw at us and now all of a sudden it's we're going to end it and you're going to go be with someone else and be happy and I don't know. Maybe it's a selfish thing. Maybe it's because I have low self-esteem.

I don't really know, to be honest. It's so hard, but I hope that whoever asked this question, I hope that this was able to help you and other people who are listening, not that we have the right answers, but at least you don't have to feel alone because we've been there. Yeah, agreed for sure. I did want to say that the topic about chores, tons of people responded and a lot of people said different things, but a lot of people said a lot of the same thing. So I was very interested in the response, but also the fact that other people collectively

have been able to figure it out and we couldn't. Okay, well, what did they say because now I'm interested. So I'm just going to read one response, but this was kind of across the board. Having raised three boys, I found that one of the best methods were to tear the chores. So for example, Jackson and Lincoln might make their bed for free and then maybe empty all the trash cans in the home for payment. The first tour is something that he should be doing and the other is not something he would need to do when he is a teen, but is still a huge help to you.

I always made need to do chores free and like to do chores for payment. This way you can make the chores for payment harder as they get older, like actually taking the trash out and so on. Hope this helps. Thanks and Merry Christmas. I love that. Me too. Because you're teaching them what they need to do in life, whether they like it or not,

and then they need to know, okay, yeah, when the trash is full, it's time to take it out, but you can get paid to do it right now. And then it would be one of those things where that would eventually, you know, they would know that they have to take the trash out and they wouldn't get paid. But as they're younger, they would get the payment. I love that. I think that's a great idea. So I really, I thought that that was great advice and thank you all for sending messages.

They all were equally great and we appreciate it. And I'm definitely going to implement the tier system in my home. Just switching gears from like parenting. I wanted to talk about this funny article that I saw over the weekend and I could not wait to podcast just so that I could talk about it because I literally was dying laughing. This was the headline. Florida men. You already know Florida, like Florida has a crazy people.

One disguised in a bull costume. A bull? Yes. Allegedly tried to burn down ex-boyfriends home with spaghetti sauce. This is real. They must have been on them bath salts. This is real. So two Florida men are accused of breaking into their ex-boyfriends home using ragu sauce

to try to burn it down. How do you burn something down using ragu sauce? First of all, ragu is not good. First of all, no diss on ragu, but you are busted. So they were arrested for breaking into the home and stealing several items, which was a flat screen TV, a window, AC unit, and a vacuum. And the victim called 911 after being alerted that the security cameras of motion, like motion was detected, and a towel had been placed over one of the cameras.

And when the police arrived, they saw an SUV leaving the area and just conducted a routine stop. And the two men inside the vehicle were identified as these two men and they said that they were just picking up clothes from the house. And the victim told them that one of them was wearing a bull costume. So the men initially denied that they did any type of burglary. But when the police went to the home, they found a burning pot of ragu sauce and a washed cloth near the stove burner, and it was there as an effort to start a fire.

And the victim made the funniest, no, no, no, no, it's real. The victim made the funniest statement. He said he was trying to make it look like I left the stove on, but who gets up at 2am and fix his sketchy? I was crying when I got to the part where he said, who gets up at 2am and fix his sketchy? I said, this isn't real, like this is not real news, like this has to be fake news. And so I did like more investigation and it is real. And my whole question around the whole thing is, okay, there's three guys involved.

So they said his exes were the new boyfriends, but were they all boyfriends together? Or were they like, I think the new boyfriend helped the mutual boyfriend, Rob, the ex boyfriend. I need to know answers. I need answers. I wonder if they, I hope someone shares this podcast with them and they can let us know. Me too. For whoever was wearing the bull costume, I need to know why you were wearing a bull

costume. Like what was the reasoning? It was a disguise. Kale, you don't just disguise yourself as a bull. Like the other person wasn't in costume. The other person wasn't in costume. Right. Like so both of them should have been in costume or neither one of them should have been in

costume. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Right. Both or nothing. Maybe it's the new boyfriend and he didn't want to be seen, but like he didn't want the ex boyfriend to know who he was. Okay.

Well, whatever they were doing, I'm concerned and I just want to know why they thought that putting spaghetti in a towel like near the burner was going to start a fire. Because it would have gotten so hot and then the towel would have caught on fire. What sneaky snakes. And to do it with ragu. Like oh my God. Like at least a good pot of spaghetti. Like right.

That's just not a thing. So it wasn't even noodles. I think if he would have just put noodles in a burner in a pot on the burner and turned it on without any water would have started the fire quicker. Oh, it would have been like immediate would have been flames. Moving on though. Okay. So you know how I talk about going to get a drink at McDonald's all the time?

Yes. Okay. So. A soft drink. Yes. Soft drink. Um, my McDonald's just recently had a renovation. So I don't know.

Have you been into a McDonald's that has like the touch screens like kind of near the checkout? No. Okay. So on the new McDonald's that have had their renovations, they are touch screen, um, ordering machines inside of like the McDonald's right by the check out. So I actually saw. I've actually used that like two or three times if there's, you know, like three people online, obviously they have the cups where you can grab them yourself.

So I'm just going to pay at that little machine and grab my cup and like piece out. So, um, definitely have done that, but I was disgusted when I saw this article talking about how fecal matter was found on every McDonald's self-service touch screen. And this study was done in the UK, but still like the United States is just as nasty. So, um, I was like, are you kidding me? Like is this really real? So the samples for this specific study were taken at six McDonald's in London and two in another location.

Um, and I just cannot believe, but if you really think about it, like people don't wash their hands or think about people who come in like traveling or whatever come in, go to the bathroom, maybe not wash their hands, come back, touch the screens, think about how nasty that is. And then you're going to touch your food. That's absolutely disgusting. So, um, the people that were doing the study said that they were so surprised at how much gut and fecal bacteria there was on the touch screen machines.

And they caused all types of infections that people pick up in hospitals, um, that were actually the type and strains of bacteria that were on the screen. So, um, yeah, I just cannot just wash your fucking hands, people, just maybe they should not make touch screen things because when Will was working for Sprint, um, he told me about how nasty phone screens and stuff were and you don't really think about it. But yeah, it is nasty. People take their phones to the bathroom and we'll like sit and take a dump and then like be on their phone and it's like, okay, wow, yeah, like obviously they're not touching

their butt, like, but still kind of they probably like are. So, well, I saw Randy Chelsea's dad from Teen Mom 2, he's a dentist and I remember, I don't know why I remember this. He had posted something I want to say it was on either Instagram or Twitter about keeping your tooth, your toothbrush, like eight feet away from the toilet because when you flush, oh my God. Stuff gets shot up into the air. Stuff gets shot up into the air.

I could have lived without knowing that. I'm just letting you know so that you could keep your toothbrush eight feet away. My toilet is in a different part of my bathroom and it has a separate door. So is mine. But other people's are not like that. Kill. They need to know that then because they might not have enough space between eight feet to keep their toothbrush.

But they can cover their toothbrushes with quip. True. True. This is very... Quip. Very true. Use a toothbrush cover, guys, please. You know how we were talking about that story about the daycare and them being like horrible

to kids? Which one? Because I feel like we've definitely talked about that more than once. Well, just any of them. It doesn't really matter. Basically they're all the same, just a little different. Anyhow, I saw this article, and you're going to freak out, about a substitute teacher taping a student to a chair.

No. You said... With what? Duck tape? Long pause. No. No. Okay, so the story is, is that during a regular, just like class, the teacher was teaching,

which I've never known a sub to really teach, but apparently this was a long-term substitute, which is a little bit different. It was a sub? Yes. Oh my God. And told the student that if he did not return to his seat, she would tape him to his chair, and the student found the remark funny, and so he did not return to his chair, so she proceeded to do as she said that she would, and it didn't go into detail about what kind

of tape that was used, but the superintendent said that it's never acceptable in a school setting, and that they were just shocked and appalled about hearing about it. First of all, it's never acceptable even not in a school setting. You don't tape your kid to a chair, so I was kind of like... My thought process behind some of these stories is this day and age, everything either gets recorded without you knowing, or with you knowing, or it's going to go viral, it's going to hit the media. You cannot do something like that and be so stupid as to think that that's not going to

come back and literally bite you in the ass. I don't understand the mentality, I'm not going to do something like that and then think that, one, it was okay, but two, I'm going to get away with it, because somebody somewhere is going to tell somebody or record it and you're going to get in huge trouble. What the fuck are you thinking? Well, and it's not like it was a he said, she said, it was in front of a whole class, so honestly... Right, that's what I'm saying.

You can't be that fucking stupid to do something like that in front of a bunch of people. Even if you are that dumb, you shouldn't, I'm glad you got caught because you shouldn't be an educator anyway, like you shouldn't be subbing anyway. I agree, but I don't think that the qualifications for subs are, I think you don't even need a degree to be a substitute teacher, you could just have like some... Nope, for a long-term substitute, you do have to. They're required to pass background checks and they must have at least 48 college credits, so...

Well, you don't need a degree then, you just need credits and a background check. So sometimes though, with long-term substitute teachers, they have them for like every county and only like an allotted amount of long-term subs that they have to have a bachelor's degree to be a long-term sub, and this one was a long-term sub, so I don't know what level of education, either way, I don't care what level of education you have, you do not take a child to a chair. I agree, I'm with you on that 100%. So let us know what you guys think and what you would do if somebody taped your kid to

a chair. That's all we really have time for today. If you guys are listening, we cannot wait to see you at the Christmas party in Chattanooga on Friday. We hope you guys all have a great week. If you have not followed us on at Coffee Combos podcast on Instagram, follow us on there. We do all of our updates for everything there. And if you have not given us a five-star review on iTunes, it's very easy.

You just go to the podcast app for iTunes. It's purple. You type in Coffee Combos, search it, click it, click the fifth star, and you can also leave a written review as well. We love reading them. We hope you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk to you next week. See ya. This podcast is brought to you by Weave Podcast Network.

Check out all of our shows, including the Brain Candy podcast, I Don't Get It, Babes and Babies, Coffee Convos, and let's talk about it.