Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 59: Swingers, MTV Drama, & Promise Rings

Episode Date: December 20, 2018

Lindsie talks about her weekend away & how it's amazing to take a break from your daily life. Kail talks about how seeing The Mule made her reevaluate her life. Kail reveals why she changed her mind about swearing. They talk about what it would be like to be in a sister wives situation & swinging gone wrong. They talk about spa services, talking to massage therapists & why it is/isn't weird. They talk about cheating out of spite versus cheating to cheat. Kail discusses the drama with David & the secret service & how she feels about the JWoww situation. 

I'm good. I just got back from our little weekend getaway. Oh, where'd you guys go? We just went, it's only like an hour from home. It's called Barnsley Gardens. And actually, we filmed there for Chris Lino's best a few seasons ago. Did like a scavenger hunt there and stuff. But it was like in the day. And it was so different to see it like at Christmas with all the lights and everything.

But it was, it was really fun. Oh, I bet Jackson loved that. He did. He did. He loves going away and like doing something just different from home as we all do. Oh, yeah, of course. Have you been to the movies lately? No, I have not been to the movies this weekend. I have not been to the movie since I got popped with like my $45 deal with the movies the last time I went to go see wrecking rail.

I was supposed to take Isaac to go see that. And then I didn't because of behavior. And then, but I did get to go to the movies. I saw the mule. Have you heard of it? No, but I saw the commercials for it. It's with what's the guy's name in the movie. Clint Eastwood.

Yes, Clint Eastwood. I love him. I am obsessed with Clint Eastwood. So I saw that. I think it was like a commercial from some movie or show that I was watching on TV. Maybe it was like even in the Wreck it Ralph. I'm not sure, but I saw it and I told Will. I was like, we've got to go and see it.

So tell me about it. Was it good? Yeah, it was really good. I definitely it made me want to reevaluate my life and the strategies that I'm using. And it was like it had a lot of good lessons. I feel like for adults, like. Even though it is about drugs, of course, but there was a lot of like lessons in the movie. I feel like that, you know, are applicable to a plethora of people.

So tell me what strategies you would like to reevaluate. I mean, I don't know. Part of it made me want to become, you know, a driver for the drug for the Mexican drug cartel. But then the other part of it made me want to go to the movies. But then the other part of me was like, you know, at the end, I don't want to, I don't want to say too much. But the end was like, no, maybe you don't want to do that. So definitely go out and see the Mule because it was a really good movie. Well, thanks for letting me know about that.

Because honestly, I forgot about it after I said that I wanted to see it. So I'm glad that I now know that it's a good movie. Yeah, perfect. So I would just like to tell everybody that I feel super impressed with myself that I have finished my Christmas shopping, which is not normal for me at this point. Why? Because you're usually waiting until last minute or? The weird thing is, is I'm such a planner. But when it comes to like doing stuff like that, I'm such a planner as far as like my daily life.

But as far as like doing stuff like that, definitely more last minute. Yeah, and I always feel like Jackson's list kind of changes a week after week. So I want to make sure that like whatever it was that he said last is what I make sure that we get. But yeah, finish that up this past Friday and feel so good about it. I wanted to mention this message that we got on the email. So someone said that they can't listen to our podcast anymore because I use the F bomb too much. So this is just like a preface that I'm going to try my best to not say the F word anymore. Oh, okay.

So is that like a resolution or this is just like, you're just not going to do it or try not to do it. It's a little of both. Like it's I'm going to try really hard not to curse anymore on the maybe not say the F word. But I wanted to talk to you about all the emails that we've gotten about swingers. I also wanted to talk about that because I we were like inundated with messages and emails and comments. And I'm actually shocked at the amount of people who participate in swinging. Actually, that was my exact reaction as well. And the amount of people that are so open to sharing with us and so invested in our show.

And I'm so thankful because you guys make it happen every week. You know, the people who comment and the people who send us messages to let us in on parts of life that we don't know aren't knowledgeable about or understand. I'm just so thankful for it. And like you said, I was not aware that swinging was such a obvious popular thing. Yeah, I'm shocked. Like I knew it was around and I know people do it. But like, I feel like the people who do it are so secretive about it. Obviously, it's none of anyone's business, but I just think that I would be curious to know like who in my circle and like my acquaintances and stuff like that.

Here in Dover, Delaware, like now I'm curious because there are obviously people that we know in our lives that probably do it. So I want to, I need answers. Well, I mean, I'm not trying to be in everybody's business, but anybody who personally knows me that's listening to this, if you're a swinger, tell me. Like, we're just curious about it. We're not, I'm not judging like I'm just very curious and I would just love to know, you know, why you guys came to this decision. Yeah. Okay, so I kind of want to read just some scenarios that we received and messages because I feel like even though swinging is kind of like a lifestyle choice. I feel like a lot of the lifestyle choices within swinging from what I understand are much different and the way to swing is a lot different for every person or situation that's involved. So the first message that we received, she says, I'm fangirling. I love this podcast and yes, that's how it works. We bring a person in, it's one and done and we move on. Also, it's not on a regular basis and maybe once a year, once every six months and it also took 10 years to come to this conclusion.

Being together since being 16, it was just how we chose to develop our relationships. Thank you for reading my message. Oh, wow. Okay, so that's more, that's less frequently than I would have guessed for her, her, her, his, is it his? Her. I'm thinking like swinging like weekends, like this is a weekend activity. So that goes back to what I just said though previously that a lot of people participate in swinging differently. And so when I read this message from this specific girl. I was like, wow, that's that's interesting. They're using it more to like spice up their relationship, I guess, versus, you know, doing it with another couple specifically and like you be with a husband and then he be with the person's wife. Because I am kind of under the impression that that's also how a lot of people do it they find like a specific couple and they switch. Yeah, I am just amazed that I have read articles before about professional athletes and I might have talked about this before about professional athletes basically their wives or girlfriends knowing that they have like one pass a year and it has to be with the same person.

Have you heard about this? No, I've not heard of this. Yeah, so I read this like way long time ago but it's basically we're like professional athletes. It's like very common that if they are in a committed relationship marriage whatever that they have one pass per year and that that might be like a specific person but that's kind of like the rules they have one pass a year and they have to sleep with the same person so it's not like they just have one pass and it can be just like anybody, anybody, but see like every you said every pass is the same. Yeah, so I'm like okay well that's kind of like that's more of like to me I would think that that's going to result in more feelings and developing a relationship further than that. Yeah, so see, I kind of think the one and done and then like you don't communicate like you were talking about before like you do that one time and then you don't communicate with that person anymore. That would be more realistic just from an outsider looking in not that I'm going to do it irregardless. I'm just saying that would be the mindset to me of being more realistic. Yes. Right. I could not imagine knowing that I was participating in this lifestyle and that my husband had one pass a year and he was using that pass on the same person every year it's almost like okay well it's almost January I get to like sleep with this person and then I'll see you next January like that's weird.

That that is weird and then it's like well what happens if things change in between or like that person has starts a relationship. Yeah, that's a good question. Very good question. I think that some, like I said before like I think that I could do that in depending on who I was with. Yeah, see I think it wouldn't matter who I was with I just I couldn't for whatever reason I just couldn't. So what do you guys like to drink over the holidays. Pino, Manhattan's a nice cold beer. No matter what you drink nobody enjoys having to go to pick up more drinks introducing saucy the alcohol delivery app saucy delivers your favorite wine beer liquor right to your door on demand. Now if you're in Los Angeles the Bay Area Chicago San Diego or Sacramento your saucy order will arrive at your door in under 30 minutes ready to drink. For the rest of us saucy will deliver beer wine and liquor to your door in two days or less nationwide. There's no order minimums no delivery fees no running to the store. If you've got the saucy app you'll get a fully stocked bar on your phone. And for a limited time you can get $15 off when you download the saucy app and enter promo code coffee. That's the saucy app spelled s a u c e y and enter promo code coffee for $15 off.

Get the saucy app today and use promo code coffee cheers to easy drink delivery for the holidays or anytime. There was another message though that I wanted to read it's lengthy. However, I was very intrigued because what this is not something that isn't is a typical situation. Hi ladies, if you read this on the podcast please don't use my name. Of course we never would. I love your podcast and listen all the time. I have been watching Teen Mom 2 forever and it's been so cool getting to know Lindsay. My partner and I are not swingers but we are in a polyamorous relationship. I am a bisexual woman and as much as my boyfriend satisfies me I felt myself still longing for a woman in my life. He has always been able to love more than one person simultaneously and for years struggled trying to force himself into a monogamous lifestyle because that's what others wanted. We agreed to open our relationship in the hopes of finding a third partner, someone for both of us to love. Ironically, it so happened through the years of me getting to know his children's mother, ex, for the sake of co-parenting. She and I felt undeniable chemistry.

They still had obvious chemistry as well but had ended for life reasons. Them being older and more mature now, those reasons didn't seem so big anymore so I encouraged us dating her. Now we are a happy family of five, myself, my boyfriend and his children's mother who is now our girlfriend and their two children. We are planning to buy a house all together this year and add more children. It's certainly not the norm and life is a little tricky to navigate this way. But it comes very natural to us because we all just love each other so, so much and have so much sexual chemistry. We have fun with life and we have three hardworking adults running a household and caring for the children. It really is beautiful. It's not for everyone but it's definitely for us. Wow, wow!

Bet you didn't expect that. No, at all. I was like, oh wow, like they found a girl, like they're both in love with whatever. I'm surprised but equally impressed because I feel like that is so, like that would be so hard. You're not just opening like the sexual doors, you're opening like a relationship door. So like jealousy I feel like is a thing so how do you navigate that? But isn't that like sister wives kind of? Yeah, I feel like that's exactly what was going through my head with sister wives. Because when I watched that show years and years ago, I think it was on TLC or something, I can't remember.

But I watched it all the time and I was very intrigued. But having five, six, seven wives, like that's a little excessive I feel like. Well, I just don't understand that life and then like all those kids and then like all the kids knowing about it and then, you know, obviously they have boys involved, daughters involved, like who out of those kids will choose to live that same lifestyle. I don't know, I just think it's so different. The three of them, I could see that. Like I could see, I mean, I am surprised that it's the husband's ex. I'm surprised that they have kids together and then they still made it work or whatever.

But I mean, the three relationship where it's two girls and I don't know, like that's, wow. I mean, I'm impressed if you guys can make it work and there's no jealousy and there's not. Like I just don't know how I would deal with like, does he love one more than the other? Or like equally but different or like, you know, does the one that doesn't have kids yet? Is she upset because the other one has kids by him and she doesn't yet? Yeah, that's where I feel like it would get tricky. First off, I couldn't be in this situation, but I'm just playing like if I was in this situation, like hypotheticals. Okay, so he already has kids with the ex, but he doesn't have kids with the new girlfriend or wife, whatever she is.

So with that being said, obviously you're going to have that natural connection with the one that has kids with you because there's like that common factor of something that you've created together. So to me, I would be very uncomfortable as I would feel like the third wheel. Right, right. Exactly. Because they were already a family. Even though the ex came into their situation, I still feel like, okay, she's coming into the situation. However, she was already in the situation before you and she's just returning to it. So I don't know. I just, I don't know that just wouldn't be able to fly for me.

However, if it works for you, that's all that matters. So my opinion really doesn't mean anything at all. I want to read this next message I got. It says, Hey girls, love the show. I wanted to message you in response to you talking about swinging in the last show as I'm willing to share with you my own experience. I was introduced to an ex who had attended parties before we got together. We use specific websites to create a couple's profile and meet other couples. Now for most people, it would be that they choose another couple together, meet up and usually we'll have sex with each other's partners.

Or you attend a large party where many people have the opportunity to explore their own sexual fantasies that their partner may support but not want to do themselves. Okay, so that's also a new twist to it. My experience went a little differently, unfortunately, as I ended up in a position where I was manipulated, controlled and abused by my partner who would coerce me into sexual situations I did not want to be in. In order to have his experience with other women, oh, she didn't want to be in them in order to have his experience with other women. I ended up like more of a trading piece in his experience and she wasn't happy or comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong, although my experience was awful, I met some couples who were lovely and genuinely had a mutual love and respect for each other and their swinging experience. If it wasn't for those couples being supportive and comforting in my obvious moments of fear and doubt, it probably would have done more damage to me and a hell of a lot quicker. There is definitely a healthy, fun, exciting side to swinging and I just, unfortunately, was not on it.

Please don't use my name. See, that's where it would scare me. You think that you're going to be in this relationship where you guys are going to do swinging together, but then you're in unfortunate situations. Hopefully that doesn't happen as often as she went through. Well, and that's an interesting play on it, using a partner as a bargaining piece to get what you want. That's interesting. That's, yeah, and that's really sick. Really sick, but interesting as well. So I don't know about you guys, but I try to avoid getting sick, worn down, you know how it goes in this busy season. That's one of the reasons I love Care Of.

Care Of is an effortless process that gets you the vitamins and supplements you need to live healthy, active, and the right lifestyle delivered straight to your door in a personalized, easy to remember daily pack. Perfect for one busy on the go lifestyle. Over 90% of people fall short of the vitamins that they need. Care Of makes the process so easy. Grab your pack and go. And if you're traveling, you don't have to take a ton of bottles or have to focus on forgetting anything. Care Of makes it easy to get back on that health kick in a convenient and fun way. Your subscription box includes a 30 day supply shipped right to your door. You can modify your subscription at any time and the best part is it costs about 20% less compared to similar brands at local and health food stores. They even have options if you're a vegetarian or vegan that will help you get what you need in your body.

Also, a portion of every sale goes towards the Good Plus Foundation, which provides expectant mothers in need of the valuable prenatal vitamins, which is really awesome. For 25% off your first month of personalized care of vitamins, visit takecareof.com and enter coffee. That's 25% off your first month of personalized care of vitamins, visit takecareof.com and enter coffee. So just switching gears a little bit, can we talk about how comfortable it was for me to basically be in the woods this weekend with no cell coverage and no Wi-Fi? You were happy? Yes. That's a good thing. I don't know how I could have been any happier to be 100% honest and I just wonder how many people find themselves in situations to where they're somewhere that you don't have cell coverage, you don't have Wi-Fi.

Like, are you the type of person that's going to make the best of the situation, be happy and fully disconnect or are you going to be pissed off and try to get back to cell coverage? Like, what? You know what's crazy? I feel like in some situations, people won't even know that they're getting anxiety and having a bad attitude over no Wi-Fi and cell service. They don't even realize that that's... You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. You're out trying to enjoy yourself but you don't have that and so you realize this person has a pissy attitude and then you're like, oh, they're fine once they get Wi-Fi.

What an unfortunate way to live. That is so unfortunate. I'm just like, you know what? It's so nice to be able to just disconnect and sometimes I feel like it's so hard just to shut it down and you don't realize how much you actually need that until you're almost like in that forced situation of where you just don't have it. So for me, I didn't even want it. It was just the fact that I didn't have it so I know it wasn't an option so it almost forced me to just disconnect, which I feel like I'm the type of person that has to be forced to do anything. So that was nice. But I just wanted to know from listeners, if you're in situations to where, I don't know, you might be off the beaten path and you don't have Wi-Fi or cell coverage, are you pissed off?

Or are you glad that you're in a forced situation to just not communicate with people? Let us know. I think who you're with and where you are, what you're doing is going to have a huge impact on whether you're happy or you're pissed off. This is very true. I will just say I'm not putting myself in the situation to be with somebody or anybody that I would be pissed off that I didn't have Wi-Fi or cell coverage because I'm going to have enough foresight to be like, I know I'm going into the woods and I can't stomach this person for that long, so I better be sure. 100% sure. And then also, I had a massage yesterday and I wanted to ask people, when you have massages or spa services, if that's of interest to you, because I know it's not of interest to everyone, do you talk to the person? Do you talk to the massage therapist or the esthetician who's giving your facial, or is it just kind of like an understood, I'm coming here to relax, so just don't talk to me? Honestly, it's the same thing as in an Uber or a car service.

Unless the client talks to you, I don't think that there should be a conversation. Yeah, kind of agreed. Don't strike conversation with me. There was a time, so me and my friend Sterling, we had went to get massages and we, I think between her and I, we were like, we went as a couple, but obviously we're not a couple. Just for us, we were like, okay, we're going to go, we're going to relax, it's going to be cool, but we want to do it together. And then the massage therapists were talking to us the whole time and we even just kind of looked at each other like, what the fuck is happening? And then there's been other times where I go in and I would hope that they don't talk to me and they really don't. So that's weird. I feel like if the person that's providing the service has a conversation.

Yeah, okay, so Will's mom, my sister-in-law, Will's brother's girlfriend, and myself all went to the spa yesterday. All had very different experiences. Actually, two of us had the same experience, two had different ones. So I go into the service and I, you know, do the just nice like, hello, how are you? She asked me, you know, what type of service I want, like what type of pressure, you know, whatever, basically beat me up, please. And then I never spoke to her again for like the next 80 minutes until she told me that my service was over and like I woke up. So like I didn't have any communication really. My sister-in-law. Time out, time out, okay. That's another issue that I have is like, why are y'all falling asleep during massages? Because if you're falling asleep during a massage, you're not even enjoying the massage, you're asleep. Will said that exact same thing on the way home. And I'm like, no, I was enjoying it so much that it put me to sleep. The fact that I'm around...

But you could sleep at home. No, no, no, no. Basically, okay, if I'm around another adult person and in their presence, I can fall asleep, it's because you have made me comfortable. So she was doing her job. However, my sister-in-law had the same experience as me. She didn't have communication with her therapist, basically told her what she wanted, the therapist delivered. We both finished at the same time, left the spa at the same time. Will's brother's girlfriend basically tells us that she has a touching experience with her massage therapist. And I'm like, oh my God. Like what? Basically tell each other like life stories and stuff. And I'm like, okay, this is just not something that's a thing. Because if I'm going somewhere to relax, I don't want to hear your dysfunction. And I don't want to talk about my dysfunction because I'm escaping from it.

Right. Like this is my escape. This is me running away. Yes. Yes. And I have landed at my escape and that's just it. Like I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear yours. I don't want you to hear mine. That's it. My mother in law claims that she has a facial and that because she had had services by this lady three previous times that the last 10 or so minutes she carried on a conversation with her. So I just want to know if it's normal to have some rank stranger rubbing on your body and you carrying on a conversation with them about like your life dysfunction and them sharing their dysfunction with you. Or if it's more normal to be like me and go into the room and say, I like firm pressure, please beat me up and then never speak again.

I'm going to be willing to bet that people are more wanting to not talk. I say that, but then you think about all the things you hear from like hairstylists and how people come in and like vent their like innermost like secrets and like all this stuff. Do they use it as more of like also therapy when they go in. I just want people to understand that when you go to a massage therapist, they are not a actual therapist. Like they are there to massage your aches and pains away, not like your emotional stress. Right. Correct. So yeah, I just, I don't know. I just want to know because I feel like it's interesting and I want to know how weird I am to be perfectly honest. Just to be serious for a minute, you guys, although the holiday season can be a wonderful time for many reasons, it's also really difficult for some people. Lindsay and I want to remind you that it's okay to need to talk and to get stuff off your chest whenever you need to. Talking about everyday challenges at work or at home or just to have someone listen without judgment is totally normal and should be accessible to everyone, just like it is through Talkspace.

Talkspace is the online therapy company that lets you message licensed therapists from anywhere at any time. All you need is a computer with internet connection or the Talkspace mobile app. That means you can improve your mental health even if you've had trouble making time for it in the past. I really wish I knew about Talkspace when I was going through my relationship troubles, which I've talked about before. It's really nice to have a third party who's not invested on either side that can be accessible to you over the phone. We're also busy that trying to imagine adding things to our life seems impossible and there's nothing more important than taking care of yourself. With Talkspace, therapy is as easy as sending your therapist a message. There are no extra commutes, there's no leaving the office, no judgments, none of that. Remember that therapy isn't just about venting your innermost thoughts and digging into childhood memories. It's also about practical everyday strategies for stress management and living a happier life.

The Talkspace platform has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing the life challenges that we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com slash coffee and use the code coffee to get $45 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's coffeeandtalkspace.com slash coffee. Okay. What? Okay, what? Hi. Now that we're taking all these freaking polls, I want to tell you about a conversation that I had today about cheating. Okay, let's go.

Okay, so I kind of mentioned it on Twitter at all. So if you guys follow me on Twitter or Lindsay, I don't know if you had a chance to see it. But basically, the gist of the conversation was obviously cheating is wrong, right? So all cheating is bad. However, if you're in a relationship with someone and you cheat just to cheat because you can, you want to, you don't really care, is that better or worse than cheating on someone out of spite? Mmm. Okay. So you want me to tell you mine first? Yeah, I want to hear your thoughts and then I'm going to tell you what my thoughts are and what the Twitter poll results are right now. Okay, so what are the two options? Make them very clear.

Okay, the two options are is cheating just to cheat better or worse than cheating out of spite. So to me, the way I looked at it was if you're cheating out of spite, there's obviously feelings involved. There's obviously some type of emotion, passion, whatever, because you wouldn't be cheating out of spite if there was none of that, right? But if you're cheating just to cheat, you could be perfectly happy in a relationship and just do it because you had an opportunity and because you can and you think that you're not going to get caught or you don't care if you get caught. So which one is worse? So I think that cheating just to cheat is worse than cheating out of spite because if you're cheating out of spite, there was some type of altercation, transaction, emotional stress, whatever it was to cheat on that person, like getting back at them or whatever it is. So I'm definitely a tip for tap person. If you do this to me, then you get this done to you, like you leave your shitty underwear on the bathroom floor, then I'm going to put them on your pillow. Leave dog shit out. I was going to say you could leave dog shit out and then they'd have to clean it up like you're spiteful. Okay.

Yeah, so yeah, that's what I think. That's kind of how I feel. I definitely feel like cheating just to do it is like you're a habitual cheater. Like that's, that's just what you do. And that's just, yeah, that's just like taking advantage of a situation. It's like, okay, this is who I am as a person. This is what I'm going to do. Okay, well, if you're just cheating to cheat, and that's who you are, like to your core, then you shouldn't be in a committed relationship. Right. And also, like, you're not even concerned about anyone's feelings getting her. I mean, personally, I'm in love. I don't, I'm not cheating. I'm not, it was just a conversation that was had today and I wanted to weigh in on it for the podcast. Yeah, so that is my opinion, although doesn't mean a hill of damn beans. So anybody else has a better opinion, please let us know. Switching gears though, have you seen the woman on the news who went missing from Woodland Park, Colorado? I have not. So she went missing on Thanksgiving Day from Woodland Park, Colorado, and she was last seen on a surveillance video entering a grocery store with her one year old daughter, like in the carrier. And there was kind of like a blanket over the carrier, so they didn't like from the surveillance, you couldn't see the baby. And she has a fiance, and they do not live together. And at some point, they met on that day to exchange the daughter.

So I'm confused. That's like a wholeness story for me, like from the jump, because it's Thanksgiving Day. If that's your fiance, why aren't you spending the day together and why are you exchanging the daughter? That's because they are together. They're not, they're not split up. No. So the only signs of her sense that surveillance have been text messages, and they were the day after Thanksgiving, she texts her fiance, and she texts her work, and she said to her work that she was taking a week off. And the phone was in Gooding, Idaho, which was 800 miles from where she lived in Colorado. So a search warrant up until this point, like as of recent, a search warrant was issued. And for the past two days, they've been at the fiance's house, digging, doing all kinds of stuff at his house. He owns property that's 35 acres, and they're just basically like going through that entire property searching. He does have the daughter and authorities say that he has not posed a threat to the daughter. So at this time, she does remain in his custody, but he has hired an attorney and he did not show up to the latest press conference from where her mother was pleading for her return. So I don't know if you're just not releasing information that they maybe know. They don't want to like give anything away. Obviously, like I've said before, in these types of situations, if like will went missing or I went missing or whatever, I would hope that both of us would get an attorney because it's always like the fingers always pointed at the person that you're with, you know, for whatever

reason. Well, I mean, I think, I think it's a valid, it's a valid reason. It doesn't go on warranted. Obviously, the closest person to the person who's missing is going to be initially questioned. Yes, person of question or, you know, a suspect. But I also feel like kind of indifferent about it because I say that but also I know that I would be in such a frantic that I don't even know that like hiring an attorney would be the first thought. I think I would just literally give the police my phone all together and just be like here. I want you to search everything I want you to you know bank accounts like whatever it is just anything to eliminate you if you yeah I feel the same like I wouldn't think to that brings me back to like the John Boney Ramsey case when both parents hired attorneys which obviously shows like some tour some type of like they don't agree. Yeah, something they have like one joint one, but that just brought me back to that. I, you know, if like the person that I'm with went missing, I would probably not think to hire an attorney because I'm just going to do whatever I need to do to eliminate myself but also help the police in any way that I can. So I don't know that that's but then also if he truly has been like a person of interest for a significant amount of time like and he really isn't the person who did it then you know obviously at that point you would have to hire somebody.

Right but I'm just so interested and like how this is going to play out and like what actually the real deal was because it obviously was premeditated to some point. Whether it's her that like ran away and she's just like off the grid and not been found and not turned herself in or she really is either dead. Being held hostage somewhere like whatever because for her to text her work and say that she was taking the week off would mean that she had plans to go somewhere else but who's to say she was the one that was sending those messages from her phone. See I don't think it was her because if you're taking a week off from work most places of employment are going to require you to let them know some days in advance for that. And also for her mom to be pleading for her return or you know whatever the case may be her mom obviously didn't know. I don't know how y'all's relationship is with your parents or your siblings but someone in the family would know where you were going and what you were doing. Yeah like I feel like if I didn't want somebody to know where I was I would at least have like an accountability partner to be like hey I'm not telling everybody else that I'm doing this. But in the case of something like you know that I'm here you know like nobody's come forward saying that they know where she is or that she's like fine safe.

Whatever like I don't think she has anything to do with it because don't you think that she would contact like it's national news like don't you think she would contact the authorities and be like hey I don't want to be like getting in trouble for this. I am safe I just don't want anybody to know where I am. Right so that leads me to believe that there was foul play somewhere. Right somewhere so I'll be interested to kind of follow this story and see where it goes and you never really know about people like you see these pictures of these couples and they look so happy you know just like Scott Lacey Peterson for example. All of these families that look like the perfect fairy tale family smiling and whatever and you don't know what's going on behind closed doors so you know I don't think it's necessarily necessarily wrong for the police to automatically assume because you see it so many times that it is the significant other or a disgruntled you know spouse that wants out of a relationship doesn't really know how to get out you see all this crazy stuff so I think that it's very wise honestly to assume the worst that it's the person that they are romantically involved with. Right. It's crazy.

Well you'll have to you'll have to keep us updated on that story. I definitely will. Do you guys love true crime shows or hearing true crime stories and find yourself trying to solve the case because I totally do this and I found something to satisfy the detective in all of us. Introducing hunt a killer your new favorite obsession. Hunt a killer is a monthly subscription where you become a detective immersed in a murder mystery. Each month you'll receive true crime scene photos evidence motive and suspect information that you'll need to use to solve a crime. It's so interactive and convincing that it looks and feels real. Hunt a killer is a perfect hunter killer is perfect to play solo but I definitely plan on using this on my next date night.

It would also be awesome for a game night with friends so that you can exchange theories. You can even join their online community working with other people who are at the same point in the story as you over 60,000 people have joined hunter killers online community and they have over a thousand five star customer reviews. When I play hunter killer I feel like I'm a true detective and we all know that I always get to the bottom of it every time. Kill is always right. Right now just for our listeners you can go to hunt a killer dot com slash coffee for 10% off your first box. They only accept 200 members per day so hurry and take advantage of this offer. That's hunt a killer dot com slash coffee for 10% off your first box. Hunt a killer dot com slash coffee. See if you have what it takes to get in the mind of a serial killer and solve the mystery.

We did have a question though that came through the podcast Instagram and it made me think back on whenever I was going through this life phase and the question was our promise rings a thing. Should they be why or why not? Oh wow you know what that's crazy that you brought that up because I did see that on Twitter I saw somebody tweeted like promise rings have like lost their meaning like sometimes. I remember when you bought someone a promise ring back when especially when I was in high school and everyone was getting ready to leave for college or whatever the case was. You would get a promise ring for your significant other to basically you know promise that whatever the next phase of life was like y'all we're going to stay together and eventually get married or whatever. But I feel like today I don't know of anyone getting promise rings anymore and if they do it's probably just for retweets. If we're being perfectly honest. Okay so first of all I did not know anybody in high school that got one of these so if they did then somebody needs to tell me about it because I didn't know about it.

I didn't know about it until college until Will and I were in a serious relationship and I don't even know honestly how I found out about it. I don't know maybe I thought I was like a trendsetter and thought I made it up or something but yeah we definitely talked about like a promise ring and it definitely was something that I felt like I wanted just for that reassurance purposes like he was traveling baseball whatever that you know I was like a priority baseball was obviously his number one priority. His family and me so I just wanted that reassurance of yes like you are a priority and this is where I see my life going but looking back on it now. I think that's kind of dumb because if you have to have an item to let you know that you're a priority that's just like a you know ring whatever then you're insecure for some reason and you're looking for validation in the wrong places because I just don't think that's necessary if you know you know. I mean I can definitely I definitely see what you're saying I got a promise ring from someone in high school. It was a really not healthy relationship and I would say to some degree it was abusive.

But he gave me a promise ring and so it was basically in my mind I was like it's okay that we have this super unhealthy relationship and it's abusive because I have this ring so this means that he loves me. Right yeah yeah so yeah and I'm not saying that that's everybody but that's how my situation was and honestly I kind of feel like to just be 100% transparent. I feel like it kind of takes away from an engagement because if you already get the promise ring then not to say that everybody is telling the truth because I mean heck everybody knows men lie. But I'm just saying if you already have that then and you do trust that other person then you basically already sealed the faith of okay I'm definitely going to get engaged and definitely going to get married to this person so it kind of takes like the fun out of the engagement because you know that's like the natural next step to the promise ring and then the natural next step to the engagement is the marriage so yeah I don't know like as I get older certain things in life. I don't care about how if it's like unpredictable even though I am so planned I do like a good surprise so. I do not like a good surprise at all like I don't the only surprise in life that I like is the gender of my children. Why don't you like surprises though.

Because I'm very okay I took the five love languages test and I'm big on gifts so I think if you can and it sounds shallow but I don't I don't know if it's the partially the way I was raised or like what it is but like you don't know me very well if you. If you can if you buy me a gift and I absolutely hate it like you don't know me very well right so I've been surprised with gifts like one time someone got me a diamond tennis bracelet like. I'm not fancy so for you to buy me a diamond tennis bracelet and know that I'm not going to wear that that's not my style it's like. I'm not thankful because I feel like you don't even know me right I'm going to wear how I feel on my face and if you surprise me with something that I don't like we're both going to have our feelings hurt because. You thought you were going to do something nice and I it's clear to me that you don't know who I am does that make sense right yeah yeah yeah. See I feel like growing up I was not the best at like receiving gifts just because. I didn't like really show excitement so my parents probably hated giving me gifts but I feel like I showed it more and like using the things you know what I mean like so right if my parents gave me. A cell phone or like the newest purse that I wanted or like whatever it is I might not show excitement like right off the bat but I'm going to be excited.

By using those items like every day and showing like how much like I really like them but as I've gotten older. Watching how excited Jackson gets at receiving things it's kind of weird it's like taught me a lot about how you should receive things because it's kind of. Looking at it from like a perspective of a child that doesn't really know anything you know they it's they're so innocent and so whatever so I've gotten better about that but I don't. I don't know if I necessarily like gifts more than the surprise though like I like a good surprise but it doesn't have to be like extravagant like a big thing you know I know. That's how yeah me too like I'm big on gifts but the gift could be like for example when I got married Becky bought me a leaf blower like I was so pumped because it was practical and I needed it like. In the house that I bought there was leaves everywhere in the fall so it was like super practical and like I needed a fucking leaf blower so like I was thrilled or like. Like acts of service meets gifts is like me so you know you know that my car is fucking filthy so you're going to I guess surprise me with a clean car like cool that that's I'm pumped. Oh my gosh the fact that Becky bought you a leaf blower for your wedding.

Yeah it was perfect and it was like you could wear on your back and then you like leaf blow and it's it was really cool. So she got you a backplot a backpack leaf blower for your wedding. Yes. Yeah. Becky if you're listening you're the real MVP. Honestly. Thank you every time she doesn't blow leaves she can thank you. Listen I moved out of that house and my neighbor in that home he was I think he was it a leg that was missing or an arm.

I think it was an arm or a hand so we ended up we gave it because it was a backpack so we when I moved into my new house I gave it to the neighbor because we don't I don't have leaves in my new house. You don't have leaves. No I don't have any trees that fall. Oh got it. So it's been reported that Americans are overpaying on car insurance by over $21 billion and searching for a better deal can take hours and typically results in a barrage of unwanted spam calls. But it doesn't have to be this way now thanks to zebra.com and get the best deal on car insurance without wasting your time. The zebra.com is the nation's leading car insurance comparison site because it's the only place that you can compare hundreds of policies from all the top carriers and choose the best for you. Plus they will never sell your information to the spammers so you won't get all of those unwanted calls or emails.

You just answer a few questions on a simple fast form and they find you the best rates and coverage in your state. It's such an easy way to know and TechCrunch said it best the zebra is the kayak for auto insurance. Who doesn't love saving money and getting the best possible deal. The zebra is quick it's easy and it's an honest way to compare car insurance quotes from all the top providers all at once. Go today and start saving at the zebra.com slash coffee. That's the zebra.com slash coffee spelled T H E Z E B R A dot com slash coffee. I just want to say this really funny story that I saw. Oh my God. Okay, let's hear it.

Okay, so again, this was in Florida. What is with these Florida people? I don't know. The article title grandmother pops out teeth to scare off nude man on back porch. But like so many questions like one grandma I don't think that pulling out your teeth is going to scare a man off your back porch. But two like why is there a nude man on your back porch? Like what was he doing? Was he on bath salts?

Did he just get bit by a crocodile? I need to know. I need all of the answers. Apparently she opened her blinds in the morning and expected to see her cat on the back porch and she was greeted with a nude man standing there. The man was 28 years old and on bath salts. I'm not sure, but he was discovered on her porch at 2am. And the lady says that she always looks first before she opens her blinds and she opened her blind to peek out and said what the hell that's not my cat. Well, what was grandma doing up and awake at 2am?

I have so many questions. I have no idea. Maybe she was on bath salts, but she said that she was frightened. That's what she told law enforcement. And so the only thing she knew at that given moment to do was to pop out her teeth. So she said that she shouted to the man, grandma, no teeth. I think they were both on bath salts. Well, what did the man do?

Did he leave? Like, did he get dressed? No, he got arrested. I think she called the cops. The man got arrested. She did? Yeah. She called the cops and he got arrested.

I'm just like, okay, I don't understand so many elements of this story. First of all, how did he get on your back porch and why would he think that was okay? Secondly, honestly, why were you up at 2am? Like, unless you're 18 to 21, you should not be up at 2am. But she still had her teeth in too, so even if she was asleep and then she woke up to get the cat, it's like, were you sleeping in your teeth, grandma, or weren't they supposed to soak in Alka Seltzer? What type of adhesive or whatever you call it, did she have her teeth in with? Because if she could just like pop them out that fast, that's scary as hell.

Wait, so speaking of bath salts, did you know that they're not? Remember when we talked about this on the podcast? Yeah. The bath salts are not the salts that you use in the bathtub I've discovered. Wait, what? The bath salts that the drugs that people would use, they're not the bath salts that go in the bathtub like we talked about. Well, that's interesting. I don't know what exactly they are.

Maybe you don't call them bath salts then. I'm not really sure. But yeah, I just wanted to update you on that. Well, thanks for the update now that I feel like an idiot. I want to ask everybody that is a participant on this podcast, if we can make like Jomo a thing, because everybody talks about Jomo. Yeah, everybody talks about like FOMO, but I really want to make Jomo a thing. It's the joy of missing out and basically like feeling content with staying in and disconnecting as a form of self-care.

And if that's not me, then I don't know what is. So I don't really have FOMO. Really ever. I don't get FOMO. No, like people could be out at a party and having a time of their life and I just don't have FOMO. Like I don't care. I literally do not care. I don't care what anybody else is doing.

And I don't know if that's just because I'm just content with like my life and what I'm doing, or if it's just like that, don't give an F factor of, okay, like I just don't care. I just get, I'm on the go so much that when I'm finally home and not doing anything, I get so, I'm like relieved and stress free. I mean, to be perfectly honest, the first like six or seven months of the baby's life, like I didn't leave the house. I really just stressed out about even going grocery shopping and doing any of that. So it's just like when I do have to go out, I'm so like go, go, go that I don't miss out when I'm not going out. And I don't really care.

Like if someone's like I, yeah, I just don't care. I actually plan certain days of the month and I like cram everything in on like just like a few days of going out that I'm basically just at my house all the time. Like I'm not ever out and I don't care. Like I don't miss like being out. I don't feel like I'm missing something. Yeah, I just, I don't know. Maybe it's just who we are as people. Maybe we should be concerned about ourselves.

I'm not 100% sure. Um, well, kill. Yes. Um, should we answer these questions that came in about David or J. Well, good. I mean, I don't really know a whole lot, but I'll talk about what I do know. Okay. Um, yeah, so I just want to make Joe Moe a thing. Honestly.

So, okay, well, let's try. Let's definitely hashtag Joe Moe, but I'm already like a Joe mower. So I want other people to like all to hashtag Joe Moe. Yeah, I want people just to like participate in Joe Moe. I feel like they should, we should do like a thing on Instagram where it's like at coffee combos podcast like and put the little, you know, when you put it on your story and then it'll come to our inbox and it'll be like, um, my friends are out in an ugly Christmas party while I'm sitting here and then they snapchat or not snapchat. They like Insta story what they're doing. And then it's like Joe Moe.

Joe Moe. You get what I mean? I get it. And we should like repost them. Like I'll, what's an example? Um, like I'm sure that there's an ugly Christmas party somewhere on Friday or Saturday. And I'm going to be home probably in bed watching the ID channel and I'm going to snap a pic. I'm going to put it on the Insta story and I'm going to put my friends are on an ugly Christmas to party this weekend drinking and I'm in bed hashtag Joe Moe.

Joe Moe. Um, that's us. That is us. Right. I wanted to see what you knew about these two topics because I don't know about anything that's going on in the MTV world, not really like my realm. So I don't know. Um, but we did get two questions and the first one was what do you guys think of what's going on with David and the Secret Service and the video of him blowing holes in a target and threatening to kill anyone who walks onto their property. I think he's mentally unstable and the danger to the public and Janelle and the kids.

Okay, so I definitely think that David is a danger to people, all people, his children and wife included. I definitely saw what was on his Instagram story and I couldn't even watch like it in its entirety because I was so just like kind of blown away and taken aback by it. I reached out to Janelle, whatever number I had for Janelle and I just was like, Hey, like I know we don't see eye to eye. I'm just checking on you to make sure that you're okay. And the response I got was from somebody else saying that they I guess recycled Janelle's old number and someone else had it and so that was a little sad. I also tagged her on Twitter because I told her that I reached out. I don't think that I got a response, but also she has me blocked, so I don't know. And basically what I saw was that he hashtagged Trump and Nancy Pelosi, I think, and was shooting, you know, at targets and stuff like that.

I definitely think that he's unstable and I reached out to a producer on the show and asked if we had confirmation that Janelle was okay. And I don't, I never got an answer on that. He, I think, is going to set himself up to get into a lot of trouble. So I just, the whole situation is really unfortunate and sad because you can hear the kids in the background of him like shooting at whatever he's shooting at. Well, I don't even know what bump stocks are. I tried to like go and look at the bump stocks. Like I don't even know what that is. Apparently that's why he was like tweeting or Instagramming to Trump and hashtagging him because Trump's trying to ban bump stocks.

And I don't even know what that is. I don't even like guns. I don't like being around guns. Guns terrify me with just like the school shootings and like everything that we've talked about on this podcast in the past year that just happened that I'm completely terrified. And so I did watch the Instagram story and just the amount of ammo he has terrified me. But just because he has all of that doesn't mean that like somebody else might not be more dangerous that just has like a fraction of what he has. I don't know like what the intent of was showing it if it was to like scare somebody or if it was just to show. I think it's just he loves the attention and he has to get it some way or another since he's not on the show anymore.

What concerns me though is like the kids running around while he's shooting targets and like for me, I'm not. I don't believe that people shouldn't have guns. I just think that there needs to be some type of like safety around them. And I think that him doing that while the kids are running around outside is probably not the safest thing to do. And you know, he's showing all of his guns on Instagram and stuff like that. Like you're setting yourself up for, you know, you don't know who's watching. You don't know someone might. I don't know. And I don't really want to say like what could happen because I don't want it to like plant ideas.

But that's like super just like completely irresponsible. And I just think that maybe. Well, I'm not going to show people like I'm not going to show people my house, like my dress, my security system. Right. How it's used. What type of firearms we have inside this joint. Like I'm not showing anybody anything because I don't want people to know. Like there's a part of life that I feel like should be private.

And maybe they just don't feel the same way. I don't know. They're very vocal and show a lot of guns, weapons, you know, the type of life that they live is kind of like different. And that off the grid life that I don't know. Like I honestly was afraid whenever I was watching it. But maybe he was just like angry because the Secret Service showed up. But that's even worse. That's even worse.

It's like you brought it on yourself now. Why you're mad at. I just don't get it. But my question is, is how did the Secret Service find out about this? Like I'm sure. Because he hashtag Trump and Nancy Pelosi. And they saw it. Like would this have happened?

Well, it's like had it been somebody else that wasn't on TV though. Maybe not. But because people probably were afraid. People know who David is and people, you know what I mean? So there's, you know, I just, it's really unfortunate. And I just, for me as like a woman and I've been married before, like, yeah, stand by your husband, but also not if they're completely out of their mind. Like you're going to, I don't, he needs to be checked into a facility of some sort. And it also drew the question for me because I don't, you know, excuse my ignorance, but I don't know one much about guns.

I don't know much about like no trespassing signs. Like if somebody comes on your property and there is a visible no trespassing sign, does that mean that you can just automatically like shoot the car or like shoot them? Like what are the laws behind that? Well, I don't know about North Carolina, but for Delaware, there's no self-defense laws. So like if someone, even if I put a trust, a no trespassing sign up on my, on my yard, on my fence, if someone trespasses, I still don't have the right to shoot them. Oh, got it. Got it. So it's probably by state that's different. Yeah.

Yeah. So see, I don't know what it is in Georgia. I would imagine that there is a self-defense law, but I'm not 100% sure on that. So I will check, um, but yeah, I was just, I didn't know about no trespassing signs because I've seen them before, you know, like driving down the road and Right. Um, signs that'll say like beware of dogs or something like that. I used to know these people actually that had a beware of dog sign that didn't even have dogs. And I'm like, what are you people freaking doing?

Like is it a scare tactic? Like for people not to come on your property, but then also you see the no trespassing signs. And I just feel like that should be a, uh, no trespassing should just kind of be like a thing that like you just don't do. Like you just don't trespass on people's property. Like you shouldn't have to have a sign for that. And well, it's even just like if someone were to hop my fence and I don't know hurt themselves jumping into my pool, they could still sue me. Even though you know that I live here and there's a fence up so that you can't get into my pool, if you hop my fence and hurt yourself, they can sue me. Yeah, that just should not be allowed.

Um, but speaking of just like the David and Janelle stuff and that kind of goes not hand in hand, but like the drama of everything unfolding so publicly. Um, I know there was a ton of stuff with like Jenny and Roger, um, from Jersey Shore and I just want to say that with all of that drama between Jersey Shore and David and Janelle. I was a little upset because I was excited to do a story on our coffee combos Christmas party and just kind of talk about how like fans got to come and we got to hang out and celebrate one year of our podcast. Not that anyone that doesn't listen to this podcast would care, but I thought that that would have just been like fun and exciting and I don't know a cool story and it kind of got overshadowed by. Well, then the media always is going to go with what sells of course. Yeah, and like the negativity and speaking of the J while and Roger thing just just briefly, we did receive a message about that. It said, Hey, ladies, I have a suggestion for the next podcast. You guys should comment on your thoughts on the whole J well Roger Matthew situation. What do you guys think about mothers who don't let their dad see the kids out of spite. Are either of y'all guilty of this. I'm curious to know love the podcast and Merry Christmas. Okay.

I don't know what's going on in their situation. So I don't really know the whole story other than. Supposedly J while I wasn't letting Roger see the kids but then snooki had released a video of her telling the police that that Roger is a good dad and she does want him to see the kids. So I'm not really sure if the whole thing was out of spite and a lot of things are just set out of anger. I would just love to touch on the whole topic because my mom did keep my dad from me to some degree. Obviously my dad did want to stay away to some degree as well because otherwise he would have went to the end of the earth to see to see me but with Joe and with Harvey I never was put in a situation where I did that was just kind of like suck it up and you know you don't you don't keep your kid from your child. I mean wow okay you don't keep the father from their child with Chris my situation was a lot different and unfortunately I did keep looks from Chris and that was obviously with legal advice. I'm not proud of it but it did happen when I'm not I'm not saying that it was right or wrong but I did do it with legal advice so I think it really just depends on the situation and I think that the mom always. Well let me not say the mom always knows best I think the mom is going to know what's best for the that particular situation.

I agree I'm going to be praying for both of those situations because neither of them are good it's the holidays and it's just not something that should be going on whether it's the holidays or not it just should not be going on and it's sad and also sad that the media blows up things that that are you know bad spots and people's lives you know like it's honestly that too. I just want to add to that and to Snooki's point she had said like social media played you like played everyone who follows their story. I mean you can't always just go by what's in the media and what's on TV and you and I both know that because we've been on TV so drama does sell and there's always a his side her side and then the truth. So yeah I would just say that you're right Lindsay like there's we're not really in a position to judge. Well I think that's really all we have time for today so I will chat with you next week about probably more crazy stuff. We appreciate everybody who has tuned in and listen we hope you guys enjoyed the bonus episode from last week. And if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram we post everything over there so make sure you follow us and if you have not subscribed to us on iTunes.

The only thing you have to do is find the purple podcast app on your iPhone type in coffee combos podcast click the fifth star for a five star review and you can leave written reviews there as well we love to read them and we love all of the positive response that you guys give us every week we hope you guys have a good week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This podcast is brought to you by wave podcast network check out all of our shows including the brain can you podcast I don't get it babes and babies coffee combos and let's talk about it.