Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 66: Bachelor's Jade Tolbert, Marriage Bootcamp, & Game of Clones

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

Kail & Lindsie chat w/ Bachelor's Jade Roper Tolbert. Jade talks about the show & why she liked being on Bachelor in Paradise more & shares details of the casting process. They talk about how Instagram changed the show's vibe. They talk about Marriage Bootcamp, Game of Clones, & Jade gives details of her tv wedding.. They discuss gender reveals & if Jade is going to find out the sex of baby Tolbert.

Hey guys, welcome to Coffee Combos, Lindsay, how are you? I'm great because I am being graced with your presence, Kale. I know, that's the best part of your day. Pink is not my color, it matches my skin, so it's just a lot of clashing. It just doesn't match your skin. You're so weird. I'm so excited today because we have a special guest from my used to be favorite reality show. Wait, it's not your favorite reality show anymore?

No, I haven't watched it since like before JoJo season, but The Bachelor. We have Jade Roper joining us from Babes and Babies and Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. Yes, hey guys. It's not your favorite show anymore because I'm not on it anymore, right? Exactly, actually I really loved Jade, but I didn't like her with Chris. Yeah, well, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So for those who are listening, Jade was on Chris's soul season, which I'm sure you probably already know. And yeah, I was like, okay, first of all, when they casted for that season,

I was like, none of these girls really fit living in Iowa. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know, it's funny because for one, I think he was just not a very good Bachelor. Like he was so hard to talk to, and I think that made us all like thrown off in the first place. So the chemistry was, he really didn't have a lot of chemistry with anybody. Like he did with Britt and he did with Caitlin, and those are the girls that really made sense to me. Right. But otherwise, he was really hard to talk with.

I don't know, it's just weird, like The Bachelor is such a unique experience, and I feel like I was so nervous on The Bachelor. I really couldn't be myself, and I feel like on Paradise, it was such a more relaxed show that maybe people saw a little bit more of myself. And then just with Tanner, it just worked so easy. Like I saw him the very first time he came down to the beach, and I was like, that's my guy. Like that's him. Wait, you married the person that you met on Bachelor in Paradise?

Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. I have a friend that was on Bachelor in Paradise, Julia Kinney. Yeah, I love Julia. Okay, yeah. I love her, and she's so sweet. That's Carly's going to be sister-in-law.

She's marrying someone who's, yeah. Yeah, it's her best friend, sister. I have never heard of another reality show or franchise that people actually intermingle not only on the show, but off the show, and then proceed to actually get married and have families. Oh yeah, no. I mean, it's a gross word to use, but we call it incestual because everybody ends up dating everybody or sleeping with, I mean, there's so many people who sleep with each other from the franchise too, but what's crazy is Carly met Evan on Bachelor in Paradise 3,

and then Carly and Julia are super close. And at Carly's wedding, Julia met Evan's brother, and now they're getting married. That's so crazy to me. When I saw that, I was like, okay, this is getting like too webby. You know what I mean? Like it's like too much. It's wild. Yeah, it's wild.

I just don't understand for me the show. I started watching it when I was like really young. I guess Trista was the first season. Yeah. Was she the first season ever? She was the first Bachelorette, but I think that was three years into The Bachelor. So they did three seasons of The Bachelor, and then they decided to do The Bachelorette, and she was the first one.

Okay, so that's the first season that I watched, and I watched religiously like since that season. And I felt like as social media took off, that the whole vibe changed. Oh yeah, definitely. I feel like everybody looks at this now as a possibility to have a social media career, which is true. I mean, a lot of us do, but it's definitely changed the whole mentality of I think even the leads, and then all the cast that comes on.

Oh, definitely. I know absolutely nothing about this show. So I feel like I can't. Nothing about The Bachelor? No. It wouldn't be sure she would watch. Never seen anything. So do you guys all know each other, or are they casted from the same area, or how does

that part work? You know, it's funny when I got cast, they were like, do you know anybody else who's been on the franchise? And I was like, no, and they're like, that's so unusual. Usually people know people who've been on previous seasons. So I do think they kind of keep a close net of people they cast from. So they want to cast people who know each other, or they don't want to? Or I think they do, in certain ways.

But this season on The Bachelor, two Coltons girls were both competitors for Miss USA. So they were like pageant girls together, which is really weird. Well, because they were already competing in another arena. So it's like, of course, production is going to bring that on. So wild. Because when I was on Teen Mom when they were casting, they casted another girl from a town that I was living in. And they wanted us to have absolutely no contact with each other.

They didn't want us to talk. They didn't want us to be friends. They didn't want any of that because it kind of like gives a weird, like they want everything to be separate. OK, Lindsay, I have to tell you something. I'm really jealous of men's underwear. I know it sounds weird, but I just mean that guys get all the comfortable kinds and they're totally focused on durability and extra support.

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That's meetundies.com slash coffee for 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. So have you been approached to do other reality shows since you've done? They did. They went on. Well, we did marriage boot camp. Oh, you did. Oh, okay.

I did too. How was your experience? Oh, my gosh, I wanted to crawl into a black hole or something and just wait for the filming to be done. Yeah, that was intense. It was insane. I requested separate beds. First, I requested separate rooms, and they wouldn't give it to us.

I was like, okay, second option is separate beds. I'll take bunk beds. I don't care. Who else was it all? Like, right now, they're doing a love and hip hop. So everyone that's on that show is kind of a cast. So is it the same thing for you guys when you did it? So there was a couple from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

And then there was a love and hip hop at Atlanta couple. And then I can't remember the other ones, to be honest. There was a thrupple. There was a thrupple, like a couple that's like a three. So there was a girl who her name was Margo. Gosh, this was like three years ago. Her name was Margo, and she had a girlfriend. And then her old boyfriend wanted to come and win her back.

Oh, wow. And so she still definitely had history and old feelings for him. So that was like some big drama. That was probably the biggest drama in our house. Oh, my God. So wait, tell me, because I also got approached to do that show, but I didn't do it. So tell me about how I saved my emotional state by not doing it.

Okay, you want to know how much it really, like, messed with me after the show until it aired, which it didn't, filmed in April and it aired in October. Every night I would have nightmares about it for five, six months straight. That's so weird. Like, not sure what they were going to air? No, I just felt like, you know, obviously they're making a show.

Obviously they want storylines, but I felt like nobody was really there to actually give us therapy. Yeah, like you felt like it was just produced. Yeah, and nobody really ever, like, took me aside when I needed, like, probably some therapy and actually, like, talked to me. And so it just really messed my psyche. So it wasn't really about what was going to air. It was just, like, processing it.

It was actually kind of almost traumatic for me compared to actually, like, helping us. And there were things that, yes, that we talked about that probably wouldn't have been talked about otherwise, that as a couple were good for us, but the show itself was hard. Oh yeah, it was super intense. I think the drills, if we went home and applied the actual drills

with a real therapist that cared about us, it would work. Yeah. I think some of those drills were actual real life, you know, would help. But in a show circumstance, reality TV, hell no. Well, I just feel like if I need therapy, I don't need to be getting therapy on reality TV. Right.

And everybody knows I need it. But yeah. Yeah, I mean, reality TV is its own whole entity. And so mixing that with therapy is like, you're going to need therapy from this therapy. Yeah. Well, and The Bachelor is so different than from, say, like a show like Real Housewives of New Jersey

or Love and Hip Hop. Because those shows, they have, like, scenes or whatever. Like, the way they were explaining reality TV to us isn't the way The Bachelor works. So it was very, like, it was very different for us where they were used to it. We were like, oh, this isn't how The Bachelor's filmed at all. Yeah.

Yeah. I know. Like, The Bachelor, to me, like, yes, it's produced. And they have a set amount of time that they have to get stuff. So in that sense, it's like, you know, people say, well, it's a scripted innocence because they have a definite time that they start and a definite time

that they end. But I feel like the show is just the format's so different. Yeah. I mean, there's definitely, I call it more like, producer-influenced moments. But you're never in a situation where they ask you to do something. And if they do, you can say no.

Like, there are times where they're like, you should go ask this girl about something. And I was like, I'm not going to go do that. And then they leave you alone, you know? Right. And so it's a little bit. More organic, I feel like. Yeah.

There's definitely producer-influenced parts. And there are, like, where they, like, maybe want you to say a corny bite. They're like, would you say that, you know, you want to go plow his field or something, you know? Yeah. Because he's like a farmer. Because he was a farmer.

Oh. Fall in her season. He was a, yeah. Chris Souls was a farmer or a bachelor, you know? And so then they would, they'd give you the line. And then if you wanted to play along, you could play along. But it's never, it's never like something that's completely set up.

And if it is, then we're completely oblivious to it. Well, so I did a dating show. And it was completely the opposite of what you're telling me. So that's wild. Yeah. The kind you did. But it was like, the similar, like, the one person

is trying to find, you know, love in several people. Or end up with one person and it was completely produced. But, OK, this is the thing that I don't understand about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. So when you guys get cast, you don't know who's going to be your bachelor. So for me, I'm kind of like, unless I know who the person's going to be before I sign up

for this drama fest and shit show, do I even like the person or think I would like the person be like sexually attracted to this person? Because what if you show up and he's just like a busted person? That happened to me. Yeah. I was not remotely interested in anybody.

Like, I couldn't imagine the feeling of like going on the show and then being so disappointed with who the lead was, you know? Yeah. I think that does happen to a lot of the women. So I know I had a unique experience being cast. So a lot of them go through like the typical, you sit in a video, they like it, they interview you,

and then they do like the final 100. And everybody goes and does, comes to LA, the final 100. And then they narrow it down. But I was like, there was 30 girls in our season, and they were trying to fill two spots. And that ended up being me and Carly. And so this is three weeks before the season started. And most of the girls I've been knowing for like six months

that they're going on the show. And that morning when I went in for my interview, good morning, America had announced it was Chris Souls. And my mom was like, if it's Chris Souls, she's like, I just know you need to do it. So I was like, OK, I guess this is a sign. So I knew ahead of time that it was going to be him. And I'm from Nebraska.

So we both have Midwestern roots. So I guess I was like, yeah, I guess it makes sense. But there's girls that got there and they're like, I'm not attracted to him. I have nothing in common with him. You know, like it does happen for some people. Well, if you Google him. Is he not attractive or what?

No, he's a good looking guy. If you Google him, most likely what's going to come up is his mugshot. How many girls are casted for The Bachelor? It's between like 25 and 30, I think, for each season. And I've heard that like the first night that y'all filmed, that you literally don't wrap filming until like 6 AM. Yeah, it's about 12 hours of filming that first night.

What has any of The Bachelors, I guess, and all the seasons, has anyone ever married and had a family with the person on the show that they? Adam just showed me a picture of crystals, and I'm not even a little bit attracted or interested. I wouldn't have expected you to have been. You didn't hear him even laugh either. Don't Google.

Why is it super? Do you remember his laugh? Yeah, it's just, I don't know. He seemed like such a nice guy. And definitely seemed like his intentions were pure. I just feel like maybe in that arena with him being a farmer, that that just really doesn't translate to the show. What's wrong with being a farmer?

There's nothing wrong with being a farmer. I just don't think like being a farmer and then being a lead on The Bachelor, knowing that every other guy that's been a bachelor literally has like a 12 pack. And it's just like Hollywood looking. Have you ever gotten something new and then you couldn't remember what life was like

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15% off your first order. Go to thirdlove.com slash coffee to find your perfect fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase. That's thirdlove.com slash coffee for 15% off today. How do they pick the bachelors? Well, they used to so probably when you used to watch it they used to pick somebody who was like

one of America's most eligible bachelors. But what does that even mean? Who classifies them as one of America's most? Because that man, he may be sweet, he may be great, but I not, that's not somebody that I would be like, oh wow, you know? But literally everybody else has been, oh wow. But where do they find them?

Well, now they just pick them off of the past season. So they do like the final three from the bachelorette then they bring one of those guys and to be the next lead. Before it used to be like every new season was just a brand new person. Like one year they had a prince. This guy that was like a prince of some like tiny European country or something.

I do remember that actually. Like I remember hearing news about it. Lorenzo. Or something like that. Something like that. So you made it how far in Chris's season? I was fourth, like fourth left I guess. So I went.

So you made it to hometowns. I made it to hometowns. And then I got the boot before. What is hometowns? It's like where the bachelor goes to her hometown, right? Meets my family. Meets her family. And then they see, I guess.

What the hell does your family think of that? What did they say? My family's not made for TV. My whole family's so introverted and they were so shy. And my mom was like, I think they were just very, they did not know how to handle the situation I feel. And they thought he was nice. My mom was like, my mom was in love with him.

She just thought he was the best. Yes, the bee's knees. Yeah, the bee's knees from watching him on Andy's season. And so I think my mom was kind of like to starry eye to him. And she was like, you just, you have to like, you know, this is the one, this is the guy and all this stuff. But did you know though, like even going to hometowns that like y'all weren't?

Yeah. And I definitely think I always say it like this. Like if I had been in a bar and he had approached me and asked me to buy, buy me a drink or talk with me, I would have like entertained it. You know, like there was a little bit of, there was a little bit of chemistry, but definitely think it was more friendship.

And then now after you watched his season play out and how the other girls were interacting with him, I was way behind. What do you mean? What do you mean by that? Like they were all really interested in him. Yeah. And you just were not there.

Well, they were so much more affectionate with him and just like telling him more things about their feelings. And I just wasn't there yet. So I was like, it definitely, at least in that time frame, it wouldn't ever happen for us. Yeah. And see, I think that would be such a hard thing for me because I feel like emotionally I progressed really slow.

So I couldn't imagine going on a show that you're there. How many weeks is it? Like eight weeks? Yeah, it's about eight. And you, you may be, no, but like it's a long time you think, but you've maybe gone on what, three dates with him? That's the thing. You've been there eight weeks

and you've maybe gone on three dates. And those three dates might not have been just individual dates. It might have been a group date with the other girls. And then he's like on the date with all of them. No, I was just saying it's a long time to film a show. Like eight consecutive weeks, that's a long time. But I feel like when you don't have, I don't want to say it like offensively to other girls,

but if you don't have kids and you're just kind of like in the life phase of, okay, I'm just like dating and I'm traveling, to me, that doesn't seem like a long time. Yeah. And yeah, I definitely agree. The thing is like, I don't know if you know this because you haven't watched a show, but you don't get your phones. For eight weeks.

They confiscate your phone. For eight weeks. Yeah. You don't get to listen to music. You don't get books. You don't get books. Yeah. Because they want you, it's,

they want you to be present like in the moment of that show. And that's fine, but books. Yeah. Well, because if you're in your room reading a book, you're not participating in the drama. Yeah. So it's eight weeks and you're nonstop filming pretty much. Yeah.

I remember it because the marriage boot camp, that was a little over two weeks and we didn't get our phones, except for at like 10 o'clock at night till six in the morning. And I thought that that was kind of a little crazy. But for eight weeks, you're nonstop filming. Yeah. And you have no contact with your family. And I think that's the hardest part.

So when I saw my parents at hometowns, I hadn't seen them for seven weeks or even, they didn't even know if I was okay. You know, that's kind of, it's kind of crazy really. It's so scary. Like I couldn't imagine like my kids. So do you live in a house or is it like a hotel that you say at? Or how does that work?

You live in a, yeah, they call it the bachelor mansion. And that you all live in a house together. And the lead lives somewhere else, like a hotel. But then when you travel, you travel in hotels pretty much. So where are you traveling? Well, all over the world. We got, I don't know if you remember, but we got the shaft. Like, yes, y'all did.

He was the farmer from the Midwest that we, we went to, we went to Albuquerque. We went to Deadwood, South Dakota. And then we went to Iowa. But everybody else gets to go to like Thailand, like Bora Bora, like places like that. I was on that show if I get to go to Thailand. Oh yeah.

But you don't know where you're going to go. This season they went to, they went to Singapore and Thailand already. And I'm like, yeah. And you're like, okay, wow. I was like, I went to South Dakota, you guys. I love it. So fast forward, you've come off of the bachelor. And then I want to say, was it after your season

that they created bachelor and paradise? We were the second season. The second season. Okay. And so you go on bachelor and paradise and you meet Tanner, the love of your life, which by the way is so cute. How did you know, like just saw him like the first time and you were like, oh, wow, like that's, that's it for sure.

Yeah. So after the bachelor, they asked if I wanted to go on bachelor and paradise. And everybody at that point in season two, like they didn't really know what the show is about yet. And everyone was super skeptical. So I was very skeptical, but Carly was going. And so I was like, I'm just going to go, it's on the beach. This is such a more like relaxed environment. I'm just going to go hang out with Carly and have fun.

And I didn't like really know any of the guys that were coming. And I saw, I don't know, like I said, I saw him, there's like these famous steps that everyone walks down to the beach for the first time. And I saw him come down and I was like, I just knew my heart was like something about him, like leaped right out. And I turned to one of the producers. I was like, can you just give me a date card already? Because I just want to ask Tanner on a date.

They tried to make me ask Jared because they wanted a little bit more good TV. But I was like, sorry guys. I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. And it was pretty much that easy. I knew like watching it because I watched your season of bachelor and paradise. And I haven't watched a season since, but when I did watch the season,

I knew when y'all went on the first date that like y'all were going to get married. I was like, that's it. Think about how much of your time is spent in bed, literally one-third of your life. So you might as well make it as comfortable as it can be, right? Let Brooklyn and help you with that. Brooklyn and Sheets have been named the winner of the best of online bedding category by Good Housekeeping and have over 30,000 five-star reviews. That's more than any other online bedding company.

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Yeah. Oh, wow. And y'all got married on the beach. Yeah, we got married actually. So now we live just about five miles from where we got married. So we got married in Dana Point at the Monarch Beach Resort. Yeah. Yeah.

And y'all did the TV wedding. How was that? We did. Because as if it's not stressful enough being... Planning a wedding or a wedding and being on TV, yeah. Actually, it wasn't that bad. They did a really good job of making it feel like a wedding more than a TV show, like more than a TV production as much as possible.

So that was great. And it was such a... I mean, it was, I think, like a $2 million wedding. So never in my life would I ever... I mean, it was the wedding of my dreams. You were thankful. Yeah, I always... I told them I had always envisioned that I wanted to get married under a willow tree.

And so they literally brought in willow trees into the courtyard where we were getting married and put them around. Is there a picture? Can we look them up? Yeah. I'll have to show you. I was like, oh my God, I want to be friends with them. So cute.

I want to get invited to this wedding. They made us memorize our vows, though, because they wanted us to, I guess, be able to like look at each other for the camera, I guess, and not look at our other piece of paper. So that was the most nerve-wracking part, because I'm like, I'm going to get up there, and I'm going to black out, and I'm not going to remember any of my vows.

And they're going to be... Everyone's going to be looking at me and be like, uh, do we need to stop rolling? Oh my gosh. I love it. Oh my gosh. Like literally a wedding of people's dreams. Oh yeah.

For sure. Everything. Million dollar wedding. Yeah. Like beautiful. Beautiful. So tell us, then you get married, and you guys have Emerson. Did you guys try for a long time to have her,

or was it kind of immediate? So we waited about a year after being married, and we were like, well, let's just start trying. This will be fun. Like this is like, you know, we'll have a while. We'll probably get pregnant in like six months or something. And we got pregnant, I think, like the second month, and we were totally on expecting it, but...

Yeah, that's how we were when I was two. We got married in January as well. And then I was like, okay, maybe we should start the trying thing, just like have fun with it. And then, yeah, I was pregnant by Mother's Day. So, yeah, it was like fertile, fertile. That's what my dad says all the time.

Yeah. He says fertile, myrtle. So now Emerson is... How old is she now? She's 18 months. I was going to say 16 months. Yeah, she's so cute. When was she born?

August 17th. Okay, my son was born August 5th. Oh, really? Yeah, little Leo. Yeah, so cute. And then you just announced that you guys are expecting again. Congratulations. That's so exciting.

So I hear your story from moms all the time, that it took them so much longer to conceive the second time around than the first. I think that's what it's about. Sometimes it's about your own personal experiences and perspectives. And I think we thought, since it was so easy with Emerson, that we would just get pregnant again right away.

And it actually took us about 10 months. And secondary infertility is actually a really big thing that nobody talks about. And I feel like there's so many different factors because, for one, I was breastfeeding, and that was a huge issue between me and Tanner, because he wanted me to stop, and I felt guilty. But then it's also harder to get pregnant

while you're still breastfeeding, or they say. They say. But then I was watching all these women around me get pregnant. They were still breastfeeding. So I was like, why? This is not fair. I want to have.

Why is that not me? Yeah, I want to be able to still breastfeed my child and get pregnant, you know? So it was really hard when I chose to wean Emerson. So then I weaned her, and we still weren't getting pregnant. And so that was something that we were trying to figure out. And I know I'm super fortunate that we haven't had to go through any kind of infertility treatments

and spend tons of our savings or anything like that. I know so many women have gone through that, and we're very, very fortunate. But it's also very hard. Every month, you get that negative test, or you get your period. You're just like, maybe there's something wrong with my body, or maybe there's something where Tanner and I,

all of a sudden now our bodies aren't compatible, or what's going on? There's just so many factors. I get crap all the time, because people don't believe that I've had secondary infertility, or third infertility, or whatever. And people don't talk about it. That's tough.

Yeah. And we had a chemical pregnancy, which is like an early on miscarriage in October. And then we got pregnant in November. But it's hard. And I feel like I don't understand why sometimes the stuff is so taboo, or why people don't talk about it. Because the more we talk about it,

the more we feel like, oh, it's not just me. And we all just kind of need to hold each other up. We talk about that all the time. Yeah. Even with the body shaming, or whatever you get, negativity on social media, when you bring awareness to something, you develop a community that is supporting you,

when you feel like you're not alone in it. Not that you want anybody else to experience it, but you don't have to feel alone in whatever you're going through. And so for that, I definitely feel like a lot of people don't know about secondary infertility. And I don't even understand why that's a thing. Like when you can have a baby. The first time.

Why is it so hard the second time or the third time? Yeah, it's definitely weird. Well, and I changed my diet. I was doing this thing called seed cycling, where you eat like a tablespoon of seeds during this time of your cycle. And then you switch it for a different time of your cycle. You eat other seeds.

And I was doing all these things. So I was like, I'm doing everything. And doctors won't usually see you until after a year of trying for any kind of IVF or any kind of treatments. And so I was like, well, maybe that's the route we're going to be going down, or do we just want to keep trying naturally or whatever. But it's hard when you feel like you're doing everything

that you can. And it's like the waiting game to take the pregnancy test. It's like agony. It's a two soon. I mean, I have three kids. And even for my third, when I was finding out, it's like one is too soon. To your point, I had said on the podcast before,

when I was between my second and my third son, my doctor had flat out told me, you have two healthy sons. I understand that you want more kids, but just be thankful you have two. And there are people in their 40s trying to conceive for their first. So he was kind of very blunt about it and was just like, this may be it and be thankful.

And I was just kind of like, yeah, I get what you're saying, but it's a lot easier said than done. Yeah, so I feel like that's so insensitive, to be honest, because yeah, you're so fortunate you've been blessed with two boys. But also the heart doesn't hurt any less. Right. I mean, I respected the honesty.

And part of me was like, OK, maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't have any more kids. But then semi unexpectedly, then I did get pregnant. So I was like, OK, now obviously I can't. It just is going to take a lot more. And I feel like the more you feel like you can't have something, the more you want it. You know, it's like every month I'm sure you're just like, wow.

Like now I want it even more. Like I'm going to try even harder. Well, and my husband was like, he really wanted our kids close together. And so I felt like, I felt his anxiety and his stress too. And so you're feeling like, I don't know, I felt a lot of weight on my shoulders that it wasn't happening.

Yeah. And so and it wasn't intentionally trying to do that at all. But I could sense his fears and his anxieties too. Because they're technically your partner is in this together with you. It's not just you trying to get pregnant. And they have just as many fears or doubts about it.

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So tell us you built a beautiful home and then you guys, it was like the dream house. And then you guys just decided to move across the country. What? Like how did that transpire? Well, it's still for sale. So yeah, we did. So my husband's from Kansas City.

So when we got, before we got married, I moved to Kansas City, but we decided to settle there. He was a GM of a Toyota dealership. And we kind of thought, oh, we'll just always kind of have this life together. And this will be what it'll be. So we decided to buy a plot of land. We bought like five acres and built a house.

But when the baby was so much maintenance, and my husband is like the like, he does not even change a light bulb in the house. Like, let me just put it that way. So we just had so much work. And we were kind of getting like a little bit like brought down by it. And we had a trip out to California. I was filming a pilot for some like show with Jason Biggs.

I don't think it got picked up. But we decided to go down to Orange County and just explore. And I found this area that was an equestrian area in Orange County. And we fell in love with the house. And so I was like, I don't know what we're going to do. And he was like, he's like, I'm just going to low ball them and put an offer in and see what happens.

And they accepted it. Oh, wow. So then I was like, are we really going to do this? Are we really just going to like pack up our lives? He's never moved anywhere else. He's only lived in Kansas City his whole life. And we did it. So here we are.

Are you happy with your decision? I'm so happy. It's been so good for us. And I feel like there's a lot more opportunities out here for us and everything. So I think it'll be good in the long run. I had no idea that Tanner was like a jam of. So was he able to transfer?

Or did he get like a completely different job? He is just Instagram has has been in it right now. OK, I respect it. Respect it. I respect the Instagram hustle. No shade at all, yes. He's worked so hard. When I first got engaged to him,

the man was working like 60 hours a week. And so he I'm like to enjoy this. He gets to spend so much time with Emmy and they're having such a cute little relationship right now. And so I'm like, if you want to go back to work, you can go back to work. But right now we're just we're just enjoying this moment. Yeah, awesome.

Yeah. So tell us what your life looks like in the coming months. Um, I mean, we're just I've had really bad morning sickness. So I'm just kind of crawling out of that. And like throw up sick or like nausea. Throw up. That's the worst. I had it.

I didn't have that. I had nausea. I honestly was throwing up like five times a week, probably. And to the point where like the dehydration was very scary. And I thought like I was going to need to be hospitalized a couple of times because I was like, I can't even like my brain's not even functioning because I think I'm not dehydrated.

And so now I'm like, I'm feeling like I have so much more energy now. And so we're going to focus more on like decorating our house. And we have a ton of family coming over the next couple weeks and just planning a couple trips and I don't know. We have some personal goals. I think we're going to try to accomplish this year. But it's so hard like influence their life. Like you don't have a normal nine to five.

So you're so, I feel like you're so busy like some days or some weeks and you feel like you haven't had a break. And then the next week there's like nothing. Right. Yeah. I thought I was the only one that felt like that. And it's hard. No, I think everybody feels like that.

And it's hard to balance, you know, like like you had posted something about people who have like normal jobs and then like entrepreneurs and how like the schedule and like the pay and like everything like is structured so differently. And I definitely feel like you go through like waves of, okay, wow, I'm really killing it. And then you're like, oh, wow, what am I going to do with my day? Wow. Okay.

I'm so glad that I seriously, I've been going nonstop for 10 days. Like I have not, I've been up at six 30 and getting, you know, good not getting to bed until 10, 11 o'clock at night. And then when I get home, obviously I have my kids and stuff, but like work wise, I don't have a whole lot to do when I get home. And so it's kind of like, oh, wow, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then it'll go back into now I'm going to work nonstop for two to three weeks.

And people are like, well, when are you going to get a job? When are you going to use your degree? And it's like, probably never. Yeah. And you got your degree in culinary arts, right? I did. Yeah, awesome. So I actually.

So you want to like cook for us? Well, I went to school for pastry arts. So it was more like pastry chef stuff. Yeah. So you're going to bake us a cake? Wedding cake. For sure. I had my own wedding cake business for a while.

But I haven't done a lot with it lately. Like Tanner's always like, man, I feel gypsy. Like you don't really bake for us. And I was like, I think it's because it was a career for so long that maybe now I just like don't really like enjoy it as a hobby. But I think once Emerson's a little bit older, I'll definitely be like the mom who bakes cookies for class. And stuff like that.

Did you do a birthday for her birthday? I didn't know because I planned such a huge birthday party. So did I. And for my son. My gosh. I don't know why. I was like, maybe because I was like, this may be my only kid. So I'm just going to go crazy.

Well, also the first birthday is so fun to plan. So it's like, I went all out for my last one. I went all out. So it's so much fun. I love planning parties and stuff. But it's so stressful. I actually didn't do it for Jackson this year because I'd done it every year.

And it's kind of like, I feel like they don't really talk about it. Like we were talking about it before. Yeah, no. I mean, my kids are nine, five and one. And my nine-year-old and my five-year-old, they just don't, they don't care as much as I do. It's like, almost like I want the aesthetic and the things that match and all the stuff.

And my kids, like, don't, they talk about. We're Instagram moms. They talk about it. Yeah. No, they talk about their vacation. We took two years ago. You know what I mean? They're still talking about that.

So I'd rather do like an experience as they get older. But I mean, Lux is going to be two this year. So I'm still going to have him a birthday party. Just because he doesn't, he, it's for me, really. I kept him alive this long. So it's actually. It's actually for me. Like I'm celebrating the fact that you're still living.

And that's, that's true though. You know, like. Well, I said that on my, um, my oldest son's birthday party was in January. And I said, this party is for me. Like it's almost a decade of keeping him alive. So hello. Yeah.

Hello. So you're welcome. You're welcome. I love it. I do feel like we do so, um, feel so much pressure to as influencers or influencers, whatever you want to call it. I feel like there's so much pressure there because you get so much feedback from so many people,

whether it be positive or negative, that you almost feel like even though, you know, in your heart, you're doing enough, sometimes people make you feel like you're not doing enough. Or like if you're working, then you're choosing work over being a mom. And I hate that feeling. It's like, no, I'm just choosing to stay sane.

Oh yeah. You can't win. You know, it's just, you just kind of have to learn how to let that go because it could eat you alive with what people say. Yeah. Because I've seen that like you've taken like some trips and stuff with Carly to do like podcast or, you know, whatever. Did you ever get like any messages?

Like, why aren't you being a mom? Because I get those. Same. So much same. Um, I actually didn't, which is surprising. But, um, it's just amazing, like the things you do get like Emerson, she was born four weeks early and she was a late, so she was a late walker and that may have nothing to do with it,

but she was a late walker. And I would get messages from people being like, you hold your baby too much. Like she's not walking because you hold her too much. And then literally the next day I would be holding her and people would be, or I would be like letting her like be on the floor and people would be like, you never hold your baby. Like why aren't you holding her?

That's the worst. I'm like, you just can't win. Like it doesn't matter what you do or, you know, how you're trying to fulfill your life. Yeah. Like it's, people are always going to say something. It's, it's awful. So are you guys going to do a gender reveal?

We are. So, um, we didn't do that with Emerson. We just did the 20 week anatomy scan and we found out that we were having a girl during, during the ultrasound. So we wanted to do something a little bit different this time. So my friends, Ashley and Jared are going to throw us like a big gender reveal, I think at our house. Oh my gosh.

That's going to be so fun. Yeah. Did you do the blood test for that? Yeah. So our doctor has it right now and are you not anxious? I'm okay with it. Like Carly was like, I don't know how you're dealing with this. I'd be calling my doctor right now and asking for the, for the results,

but killed it and find out the sex of her babies at all. Any of them. That's so cool though. I wish I could do that. For my third, um, he came so fast and then when they put him on my chest, I was like, I really, really was convinced this was going to be a girl. Like I was so pumped and they put him on my chest and I was like, are y'all going to tell me what it is?

And they were like, it's a boy. And I was like, okay, but it was like, there was no disappointment. Even though I was convinced it was a girl, like in that moment, you're so happy and you're so excited and surprised that there's no disappointment at all. And it was a blast. However, if I was to get pregnant again, I would 110% find out what the gender is. Yeah. Just because I have three boys.

I want to know immediately, like I was the psycho that went to CVS and you know, like it's the prediction kit that you pee in and it's like, okay, if it's like more yellow than it's a girl and if it's more green than it's a boy and mine turn, I literally like a drop of pee hit and it was green. So it was real. It worked for me. So I don't know, but I only have one kid. So I can't really say that could have just been like the luck of the draw.

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So what have you guys been up to? What's going on in your life? Well, people keep asking us when we're going to get a reality show because people think that we're funny, which we're really not. I mean, we did shove several grapes in our mouth last night. Yeah, we did. Have you ever done it? The grape challenge? Like where you put the grapes in your mouth and see how many that you can get in?

I mean, maybe when I was like... 12? Yeah, okay. Well, we had nothing to do, so we haven't left the house in two days. Yeah, and we wanted to do like a fear factor challenge, but the only thing we had was grapes. So we were like, okay, I guess like this will work. Yeah, I wanted for sure.

I almost died. So yeah, so that's probably like the most common thing that we get is when we're going to get a reality show. And the answer is we don't know. It may never come. Would you do one? Oh yeah, together again. We would want to do like the simple life 2.0.

Do you remember that show? Yes, I loved that show. But Kale would be the one that was driving the truck. She would definitely be in a coal and I would be Paris for sure. I could see that, yeah, because she would be asking all the dirty questions. Right, and I typically don't wear pink, so. Yeah, yeah, so that would definitely be us. But I mean, you have Carly, like if y'all ever got approached to do a reality show together,

like would y'all? I think so. I feel like those are opportunities you can't turn down, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people think that you just like make a show. Do you know what I mean? Oh yeah. Like people think that they say, oh, are you guys going to have a reality show?

It's like we can give a direct answer, like yes, that's going to happen. Yeah, so absolutely going to happen. But there's so much more that goes into reality TV than people would expect, I feel like. And just because you think that you could get a reality show and maybe you could, doesn't mean that it would translate good on TV and viewers would actually like it. I mean, you have to have enough content for an entire hour to keep people entertained and watching. So it's a lot easier said than done.

What do you guys do? I feel this is kind of a trend. And Tanner and I are actually doing this with Ashley and Jared and a few bachelor people. We're doing like a mini YouTube, like reality series. And they're just like 20 minute long shows. And there's six of them and they just come out. But doing that is so much work on itself. Wait, are you guys producing it?

Or do y'all have some people? No, Ashley has connections everywhere and it was Ashley's connection. So it's the people who do married at first sight. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of cool. I would, I would definitely do YouTube.

I kind of have a channel, but it's just like they actually are still a lot of work. Yeah. Well, this is like, this would be like an actual production. You guys could probably definitely do something. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like, so it's like an actual reality show on YouTube. Yeah. I think that's kind of a trend that's happening because like a test, you know, to see.

People aren't paying for cable. Well, so everyone's going to YouTube. Yeah. People aren't paying for cable. And who don't pay for cable? A lot of people, they do like Hulu, Netflix. Well, yeah. A lot of people just do like Hulu or Netflix and stuff like that.

I swear. Subscriptions. Yeah. We do because my husband watches sports. Yeah. So it's like mostly for that. But I was reading like a statistic, the millennials watch three times as much YouTube than they do TV.

That's so crazy. That's good to know. That's good to know. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's so crazy. I know that I haven't watched it, but I saw that JoJo and Jordan have a.

Yeah. Like that. YouTube or something. Something. Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of something. Full production.

Yeah. They had somebody do it. Yeah. Full production. Yeah. So y'all are doing six episodes. Yeah. And when are we going to get to watch it?

I think they come out in March. Awesome. As far as I know. So have y'all already filmed it? We're not done rapping. I think there's one more episode that they're planning to do. And y'all are like, what's the theme of this? Just like friends or?

Pretty much. It's like bachelor friends. Okay. Yeah. That's really cool. That's really cool. But you guys should definitely, that would be something you could do. I feel like that would be much easier and it's so much like less pressure.

Yeah. For sure. Yeah. And then if, and then maybe like from their TV networks would pick something up. But I could see you guys having a reality TV show. We would probably kill each other. Yeah. For sure.

That makes TV. That's TV gold. Living a house for a week and we'd have enough episodes for an entire season. Season. Yeah. Absolutely. Because our schedules and life are like, I mean, it's two totally different things. Like Kale's doing some weird shit and I'm like.

You're the weird one. And I'm like in the kitchen cutting Kiwi. Okay. No, I think it's the other way around. Like Kale thinks I'm weird. I think she's weird. It's fine. Everything's fine.

I did have another question. You guys have your podcast. Can you tell us like what you guys talk about on there? Weekly? Is it like coffee combos? Is it different? And what date is it air? It's a little bit different.

So it airs on Mondays. It's it's more about mom life. We do a lot of like. We talk about like the nitty gritty unfiltered stuff that people don't talk about or women don't know about that happen when you become pregnant or you become a mom. Yeah. And so we do want to kind of like remove some of the stigmas behind things. And we also just want to share like real life stuff.

And we try to we keep it funny too. Like yeah. And it's not like super serious or super like always educational. But it's more just about like. Like I was saying just like banding together as moms and just like supporting each other. And just being like, you know what, we're all different. We all parent different. But as long as your kid is love, then that's like what matters most.

And I feel like that's kind of we're just trying to create a safer space for women to feel like they're a part of a community. Yeah. I feel like moms give moms bad names. Yeah. It really, I mean, I have to catch myself sometimes hardcore judging people. I mean, we're not we're all not perfect. Sometimes I'll be like, whoa, lady, like you need to like sit your child down.

You know, I'm like, wait, I don't even know the situation. What their day has been like today, what she's going through. You know, like if anything, we should be like reaching out being like, can I help you? Right. Are you? Yeah. You know what I mean? I definitely find myself doing that.

Like if I just because of so much judgment, I feel like I'm very good about seeing somebody that's like having a bad day and saying, I've been there. Yeah. You know, because that's the worst when you see another mom like looking at you and your kids like going crazy. And you know, that's like a complete look of judgment. That's the worst feeling in the world because you're like, I can't do anything about it. Like he's only human.

I can't, I can't kill him, you know. Yeah. And also like, I'm like, I guess my parenting is a little bit, well, obviously Emerson's 18 months, but like my view of parenting is you don't want to like squash your child either. So like if they're misbehaving a little bit in public, like maybe there's a time and place to talk to them about it, about their behaviors, but you're not going to like shame them either. Like I don't, I don't know. So it's just hard.

So as your parent is hard, is your parenting style the same as Tanner's? We're pretty close. I think that's like the one we're so opposite. And I think that's like the one thing we actually agree on in life is parenting. That's very important. So my kids play basketball and my 18 month old, I kind of just like let him run around like this sidelines and this mother just like sat there and gave me the evil eye the whole time.

And I'm like, he's 18 months old. I'm not going to be able to contain him in the bleachers for over an hour. My one son has practice for an hour and then my next son has practice for an hour. Same thing for games. So I'm not going to sit here. Would you rather hear me hold him here screaming or kind of just running around the sidelines because he's not hurting anybody. He's not disrupting practice.

Like, I don't get it. And we're in a rec center like where do you want us to go? If you don't want organized dysfunction, then don't come to basketball. She just, I could not believe the looks that she was giving me. I was like, this is really crazy. Oh, I've definitely got those like in public when Jackson acts like a fool and I'm just like, okay, first of all, I need to keep my composure because I'm like, I get very anxious. So if he starts acting bad, then my mood completely changes.

So I'm like, oh my God. And then I get paranoid because I'm like, oh my God, what if this person knows who I am and they're going to like slam me on social media. It's like all this pressure. And then I'm like, okay, but he's only six years old and he has feelings. He has bad days. So I just, like you said, there's a time and a place to talk to your kids and I try to like pull him aside and just say, you know, buddy, like, what's going on?

You know, like, yeah, is everything fine? Are you well? You know, because you have made me feel very unwell today. You know, just trying to like explain, but there are so many different parenting styles and people deal with things so differently. And I just think the general thought on the whole topic is that we're all mothers. We all should be in together. We should all be a team, be a unit and not judgey, but I mean, yeah, just don't be judgey.

Honestly, but I get all the time on my Instagram, I guess, because it's like more of a curated feed of like, this isn't your real life. Oh, look, it's a famous person doing something freaking normal. And I'm like, not famous. First of all, secondly, no, no, your feet is really pretty though, but I love it. Just because me and my kid were eating a donut at Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme like doesn't doesn't mean that like I'm trying to be a celebrity that's doing something normal. Or they think you feed your child donuts every day because you post one picture.

Yeah. Oh, I get that too, because I guess like a storyline that was consistent on Krisli knows best for me was like the organic mom and in a lot of ways, yes, but in a lot of ways, as your child gets older, they feel kind of left out if you don't let them do certain things. Like my mother-in-law one time asked me when Jackson starts playing ball and other moms provide snacks, like would you let him eat it if it's not, you know, organic? And that was kind of eye opening for me because I'm like, okay, at some point, this is all going to like come to a halt because I can only control it so far.

And people have to realize when that storyline was going on and Jackson was just learning to eat like solid foods, that's a whole different time of life than being six years old and wanting big league to you at the baseball field. You know, like it's just totally different. And I can't say, no, we can't go to Duncan or we can't go to Krispy Kreme. You know, I can't, what kind of life is that? Right. Yeah. I mean, there's balance, you know, there has to be at some point, but I do get what you're saying because when they're really little, you're establishing habits. And so you want the best for your, especially when you're the first time,

first time you're a mom and you're like, I'm going to do everything like organic and I'm going to do, I'm going to make homemade. It's like the love commercial, you know, it's like, you want to do all of the best things that you think are best for your child. And so that's probably what you were just doing was just trying to be the best mom you could be. And then you're like, you know what? Yeah, have the whatever the cupcake that comes after the game of some mom brings cupcakes. It's okay. And I'm not going to, because then you're walking the line of, okay, yes, I want him to eat healthy, but if I don't allow him to have this, like, will he be resentful? And then is that showing him to be disrespectful to somebody else who

are not like taking something that they're providing? You know what I mean? Like, Well, I just think it's like even in adulthood, right? So like, if you, for me, especially like my diet, if I deprive myself of something, I'm going to then binge, you know what I mean? Yeah. So as a child, you know, there's, you know, you can get a treat here and there. I mean, we're not always going to get jelly filled donuts every day. Right. Just because that's on my Instagram doesn't mean that like, we're just popping through on two wheels, you know, and to the Krispy Kreme like, hola, let me get that like chocolate donut. Like, no, that's not what we're doing. But hey, if I want to take a cute picture of my son, then I'm going to do it. Like, just let

me live my life. I'm trying to live my best life. And it's really hard. Jackson wants to live his best Krispy Kreme. Exactly. Speaking of Krispy Kreme or Duncan, what do you prefer? Um, I would have to say Duncan. Duncan. Yeah, for sure. Okay. Yes. Starbucks or Duncan. Oh my gosh. So this, this is like a debate for me. But I feel like I honestly think Duncan too. There's something about Starbucks that's way too strong for me. Yeah. Same. I said the same thing. Yeah. And there's something that's just, I don't know, it's just easier. It's so expensive. Duncan is way cheaper. Yeah. And way better. It's just more drinkable. Definitely. Does that make sense? Yes. Definitely. No, I went to Starbucks. I was like a religious Starbucks person. And then they

messed up my order for like a week and like every day for a week, I said, I'm done. She broke up with Starbucks. Yeah, I definitely broke up with Starbucks. And then since I've been here, I've had it two or three times, but like, but that's only by because that's what's here. Right. Yeah, there's not a Duncan. So, but back home, we're boycotting Starbucks for sure. So I mean, I get Starbucks when I go to Target and I mean, and I mean, love those little egg bites. So I'll get her the egg bites. What's the deal with the egg bites? They're so good. They're so good. I've never had it, but everybody talks about, Oh, these are like the best thing. And I'm just like, it's just a frickin egg. Like it couldn't be that good. And it's convenient. True. Exactly.

I feel like I have fallen into that trap of the convenience of stuff. Like if I don't make it, I feel like it tastes so much better. Oh, yeah. You cut my kiwi this morning. I was pumped and it tasted way better than if I would have peeled it and cut it myself. Yeah. And mine didn't taste as good because I did it. Sorry. You know what I mean? Like Kale didn't cut my kiwi. So I'm like, okay, bitch got one over on me. If you were going to pick a donut, what would it be? What would it be? Chocolate glaze. Oh, no, no, no. Sour cream donuts. That's my thing. Sour cream donuts. I would say like, what are the ones that are just like rolled in sugar? Just powdered donut? No, but like the granulated sugar. Just like sugar donut. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

whatever. Whatever that is. Soft like melts in your mouth. Sugar donut. I really prefer cake doughnuts. What the fuck is that? You just made us go explicit, first of all. What the heck is that? Secondly, a cake doughnut is like cake-like and it's not dough, like would that be? I mean pastry chef, tell us. They're kind of like the ones that you see that I think they used to be more popular that people would actually dunk into their coffee. Coffee, yes. Yeah, they're more like a cake. So why not just get cake? Because they're not selling cake at Dunkin. They're selling cake doughnuts. Got it. I'm gonna have to try one. You know what I'm saying? Sure. And I would say the sour cream doughnut.

They're so good. It's more cake-like doughnut. Yeah. So you're probably eating cake. You just don't know it. I love cake. Same. So same. I love cake. Do you want to make us a cake, Jade? Sure. Let's do it. It's coffee combos and babes and babies. What's your favorite kind of cake? The yellow one. The yellow one. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yellow cake. Well, I'm like five. You're funfetti. Yeah, like I'm five years old and I like funfetti. Funfetti is good though. It's the best. Funfetti cake with funfetti icing. Okay. That's the best. I did funfetti sugar cookies for my sister's baby shower last week. You did? Well, I didn't make them. I bet those were so good. I bet those were delicious.

They were just as good as they looked. Like, you know how sometimes people can bake things and they look so pretty, but they taste like cardboard? Yeah. Happens all the time. And like the moisture is just not there. Yeah. It was, um, no, they were really good. It was one of those. Okay. Well, Jade, tell us where we can find your podcast. Tell us where we can find you on Instagram. So our podcast is called Babes and Babies and you can find it on Apple or Spotify or Stitcher. And my Instagram is at Jade Liz Roper. And actually I'll plug those two. Tanner and I are doing some YouTube stuff about my pregnancy and you can find that, I think it's just like the Tolbert's. You can search on YouTube,

the Tolbert's. Awesome. Well, I'm so excited to be able to search it on YouTube and watch all of the things. You'll have to, um, you'll have to see, I don't know, but Tanner ruined my pregnancy, like revealed to him and there's a funny video on there. Oh my gosh. I have to go and see that. Yeah. I want to see it. I love it. Well, thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it. Thank you guys. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, I think that's all we have time for today. If you have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there. And if you have not subscribed to us on iTunes, you can do that by searching the purple podcast app on your iPhone, typing in coffee combos,

click subscribe, click the fifth star, and you can also leave a written review. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This podcast is brought to you by wave podcast network. Check out all of our shows, including the brain candy podcast. I don't get it. Babes and babies, coffee, convos, and let's talk about it.