Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 6in long, 6 figures & 6ft tall

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help! EP249: Kail gets a call from a con artist in prison?.. who's a fan? Lindsie still thinks about the times Todd Chrisley wouldn't let her order anything from the hotel mini bar. We read a story from the Coffee Convos Facebook group that Kail and Lindsie have big opinions on... and it has to do with splitting finances in relationships. Speaking of dating/relationships, Lindsie shares a tiktok that sort of has us scratching our heads, but brings up a good point about changing for your significant other.We double up for Foul Play and OMG - please practice personal hygiene! Thank you to our sponsors! Better Help: Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month Care/of: Visit TakeCareOf.com and enter code COFFEE50 for 50% off your first order G-Shock: Check out G-Shock watches today at select retailers or at https://www.casio.com/us/watches/gshock/product.GM-S2100GB-1A/  Stamps.com: Visit Stamps.com and use promo code COFFEE for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale! Zocdoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/CONVOS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale That does not interest me whatsoever I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship family and life in the public eye I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay Well, hello Lindsay Good morning. Oh, you're singing the intro too. We cannot go any further. I have to tell you something No, but I need before you tell me anything. I need you to go and check your DMs right now. Okay, hold on. I love it so much. Love you guys. Good morning. Oh shit.

And now my volume is all loud. I have a confession to make that I need to share with you and I can't go any further in my life without confessing. Okay, what is it? I submitted an anonymous foul play. And your dad and your family reacted to it. Wait, what? What? I submitted an anonymous foul play and you and your family read it on the podcast. Not telling you which one because I'd rather die. No, if you can figure it out. I already know which one it was. You vomited on his dick. No, that happened to me with somebody else. But that's not the one. Okay, well, what were the other options? What were the other ones that we did? I can't tell you. Tell me the other options, the ones that we did. I don't remember. I only, Kristen only played back mine for me. And the reactions were, I could not stop laughing because Todd said I need psychotic help. I needed to tell you that. So how's it going? I hope in my life. Well, in 33 years, I have not had like an extreme foul play other than my hair catching on fire. And I hope that like I go another 33 years and don't have any of the stories that I have read and participated in entertaining over the past couple of months. So yeah, there's that I am doing okay this morning. Woke up went and got coffee, which I have not done in like a very long time. And I feel like it's it's a trend for me like I will do it and then I'll be on the train for a little bit. And then all of a sudden like I no longer want it. And then I don't have it for months and I just wonder if that's a sign of a psychopath or if it's normal. It's probably normal. I also have been going in like phases. I'm drinking more coffee now that's like doesn't taste like coffee. It's like more like a dessert drink. Just because I just like dessert drink. Yeah, like the pumpkin spice signature latte at Duncan is more like a dessert to me than it is coffee. Wait, okay, so I need to know how many people are like with the pumpkin shit because it does not do it for me. It's never done it for me. I honestly think people who eat pumpkin things are strange.

Likely Jeffrey Dahmer. Every time I go into a coffee shop or a place that like has pastries at this time of year. It's like they have made some type of concoction with pumpkin and it really just makes me alarmed to be honest. Okay, I love pumpkin actually when I was pregnant with Lincoln. He was born right before Thanksgiving and my one of my cravings with him I would go to the Amish Market and I would buy pumpkin pie and I would just eat the filling out of the pie. See, but what is it that like does it for you because I think it's the texture that I hate. I love it. I love the creaminess of it. And I also need to know everybody that is listening to this on Thanksgiving. Are you picking pecan pie or are you picking pumpkin pie? Some people don't even have pecan pie. What do you mean? My family in Northern Pennsylvania does not have pecan pie at their Thanksgiving.

Wait, is it pecan or pecan? I say pecan. You say it wrong. Do you feel like you say it wrong? No. Like I feel like if I ever went anywhere and I was like, Hey, give me a bite of that pecan pie. Pecan. They would immediately assume that I was a murderer and I would escape from jail.

Also, speaking of jail, I heard a rumor that you were taking calls from inmates. So what the fuck is going on? I'm not taking calls from inmates. I was getting these calls from Oklahoma and I happened to get one while I was recording on Barely Famous. And this guy who we actually talked about on Coffee Combo's podcast, the one that pretended to be like an EMT and he was going on like... Wait, what? We never talked about a pretend EMT. Yes, we did.

Like a year's nose and throat doctor? No, that's an EMT. I said an EMT. Emergency medical transportation person? Correct. No, we literally never talked about that. No, we didn't. We talked about a bedazzled card that you received at your old house.

Okay, I'm going to send you this right now because I'm not making this up and I'm pretty sure we did talk about it. So his name is Terrence King. Man poses as EMT student, fools Dallas Fire Station and tags along. And I'm pretty sure this is who's calling me. Hold on. If I'm going to be very scared about... Okay, first of all, how do I get to the article? Because it's making me try to watch something.

Like, will it let me read about it? Just Google his name, Google Terrence King. He told me that's not him, it's his twin brother, which leads me to believe he's a fucking liar. Terrence King, what else do I look up? Oklahoma prison. Okay, first of all, I think Terrence King's a liar immediately. He's a con artist. He said I met him. I never met him.

You met him. I did not meet him. Wait, the suspect, Terrence King, has a history. Holy shit. Has a history of posing as EMT student, fools Dallas Fire Station and tags along on several calls. Honestly, this is some shit that you and I would do. Pretty sure we talked about him before. No, we didn't.

We talked about us doing ride-alongs with cops, but like we never talked about this. Okay, it says a Dallas man is now wanted by police after posing as a paramedic student and tagging along on medical calls with Dallas Fire Rescue. 27, Terrence King is wanted for impersonating a public servant. Holy cow. I don't know if that's the same Terrence. He claims it's his twin brother and that's not him. But why is both of your names Terrence? And I don't believe you.

I don't even know how he got my number. He said that he got my number when I was visiting my sister in Texas. Well, the last time I visited my sister in Texas was in 2018 and I was with Kristen. I was filming on that trip, so I did not meet anybody. The only time that I went out was with the film crew and we went to the gay strip. So every bar we went to was a gay bar and I never met anyone. I never gave anyone my number and even if I did, I have a new number. So there's no way.

There's no fucking way. Ma'am, could you imagine posing as an EMT and literally being an imposter? No, I would be so scared of getting caught. April 2013, King was arrested after posing as a Dallas firefighter. Authorities say he showed up at the fire station dressed in Dallas firefighters uniform asking for a ride out. He couldn't produce an ID and they realized that he was an imposter. I am so, he was arrested on a charge accusing him of impersonating a public servant. Okay, so he has been in contact with you?

He called my phone like over a hundred times. How do they get your phone number? I don't know because the only person that I know in prison is my previous prison bay. jail bay, jail bay is out and he's married and now the only person I know is prison bay and he's in Missouri. And I thought, okay, at first I thought maybe it was him and he got transferred. So I asked, I text his cousin and his cousin was like, no, he's still in Missouri. So I was like, okay, but, um, and then I answered it and it was, he said his name was Terrence and then came up with this elaborate story. I don't know if he thinks that I'm vulnerable and like he could con me, but you can't, he can't con me.

Okay. First of all, I saw this meme the other day and I was literally like howling laying in my bed by myself. And it was like, if you want someone who's going to be loyal and always will call you dated inmate. Yeah, but you know what? It's not even, I'm not even going to lie. Like it never happened with me with prison bay, like prison bay loyal to the fucking soil. Like shout out LaShawn. You are one of a kind in an anomaly.

Like you are a real one, but every other person that I know that has been in prison or gone to jail, they have six people waiting for them to get out like six women. So I don't believe that. Okay. Okay, but I think it's a fantasy thing, honestly, because we've talked about Scott Peterson and what to say, Christopher Watts that get like all of these love letters and stuff in prison. I think it's women who have mental problems who want basically like an unattainable man that it is the chase for them. Or just like the unknown and so they feel really cool messaging someone who's like kind of taboo. Like you want what you can't have or you want what isn't good for you. You want the bad boy.

So they want like no offense. Like I don't really want someone who killed their entire family. No, I absolutely don't want that. Now a word from our sponsor better help. It can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem solving mode when faced with a challenge in life. And I feel like I'm challenged daily. So therapy has really been my saving grace. And when you kind of learn how to find your own solutions, there's no better feeling.

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That's better H E L P dot com slash coffee. Before we move on from this, this is the kind of stupid shit that I get in DMs from Chase Chrisley. So if a stranger came and was like, hey, little boy, I don't know you, but your mommy told me I have to come pick you up. What would you say to him? I would say fuck you, coach. So if a stranger came and was like. That's something Lux would say. Like literally, I thought of your kids when I saw it, the only thing that made me didn't think of your kids was this child was in like tight pajamas that looked like he definitely had her all together.

And I was like, specifically that's Kale's kids with the attitude, but Lux ain't dressing like that. No, Lux is he wears matching outfits only now, he said so. I love that. Wait, can you tell me about his experience at the hair salon? So Taylor, I Taylor posted the picture like days after we actually got it done just because I didn't want people to know like where we were at. But he's been dying to do red hair. And so I took, excuse me, I took him with me for my appointment and mine take like four hours, but he was he he wanted to go. He wanted to be there.

Lindsay, when I tell you that this child never stopped talking the entire time and Taylor has never spent that amount of time with him. And I just was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I mean, thankfully she was closed that day. So because mine just takes a long time and whatever. And so even when I went to the bathroom, like Lux was like, Mom, where are you? Like did not want me to leave his site and she commented or she posted a caption for his hair and was like, if if if you don't love me like Lux loves his mom, I don't want it. And love that he is so attached to me.

He told me last night because he got home from he went to his dad's this weekend. He got home from school and I was helping him and linking with their homework and he he was like, Mom, are going anywhere tonight because. I have to go with you and I said, what? And he said, I just you have to sit here next to me because then I don't know if you're going to leave. Like he's afraid of me like going to work without him. If I'm at the office, he wants to come. If I want to go to take Lincoln to the orthodontist appointment yesterday, he has to be there like attached to my hip. Jackson totally used to be like that really until like the last year and I think probably the divorce and like the time sharing thing helped a little bit with that.

But once he's been gone for like 72 hours, you can tell he's really like got the urge to crawl right back up in me. And so I don't know. I don't know if all moms of boys like have this experience or if it's just specific kids with personalities. It's certain kids because even Isaac, who I was his pride and joy, the apple of his eye wasn't like this. Oh, but I love it. I don't mind it doesn't bother me. And then of course, luck slept in my bed last night. I'll have you know that this morning we get in the car to go to school and he goes, I slept so good last night.

You little shit, I didn't. I love this so much. Wait, can I tell you about this meme that I sent my dad and then I'm going to read you the text. I'm 32 years old and still deeply terrified that consuming anything from the hotel room. Many bar will bankrupt my entire family somehow. So then I texted him and said, remember how cheap that you and Julie used to be about hotel many bar and threatened us. I personally feel like it was very cheap thing to do. And truthfully, it was a childhood trauma in case anyone cares.

He says laughing my ass off. Well, if that's all you've got, then you're blessed. I said, but why were you so cheap? Did you feel like I was unworthy of a cold sprite and a snack? He said, maybe because I wasn't paying $3 a drink, I could get from the machine for 50 cents. True. You just walked down the hallway and get the same drink for 50 cents. I mean, he's right.

But like where you're, well, I would say where your parents like ever that cheap, but like. I never went to a hotel. Yeah, I was going to say he never went to a hotel. I remember though, like one of the reunions for Teen Mom, I went to a hotel. Well, they had obviously have us stay in a hotel. And this was like right in the beginning when people would take out the liquor and then refill it with water or whatever. Oh yeah. We actually went to crack open a bottle and it was water.

Stop. And then I was pissed off because I was like, one, how did they let that slide? And two, am I going to be charged for opening this when in fact it's fucking water? Like I was so fucking pissed. I don't remember how I handled the situation, but. Oh, let me tell you, honey, like Will and I were so broke whenever we got engaged and we were staying in a hotel in New York City. And I threatened him with every inch of his life, like literally just don't touch anything in there because if it gets moved, like I don't want them to think that we touched anything.

Like honestly, that coke will cause us to not be able to pay our bills when we get back home. Like this is like very bad. And I wonder if everyone feels this exact same way or if it's literally just us. I just want to know where they get the audacity to charge those types of prices. It's convenience, baby. It is convenience, but like I feel like it's a double-edged sword because one on one hand you inflate the pricing and some people will still buy them. But on the other hand, if you lower the prices, people will be inclined to spend more, right? Because they're more affordable.

I mean, this is true, but it depends on what type of consumer that you are, you know? Yeah. I mean, I don't really think that the mini bar is going to like bankrupt my family now, but like. At one point. At one point I did and I needed to let my parents know that I was traumatized by that. Yeah, absolutely traumatized by that. I said, Todd Chrisley is literally going to be sick of my shit by 11 o'clock today. Well, speaking of income and funds, I found this on our Facebook group and I thought it was really interesting because this is something that I face on a regular basis, but the opposite.

So this is again from the Facebook group. I'm recently engaged in having a hard time wrapping my mind around how to equitably, is that the right word? Equitably. Equitably. Share income. Equitably. Equitably. Okay.

This is not going to be another indicted moment. It is. It's an indicted moment. I'm recently engaged in having a hard time wrapping my mind about how to equitably. Equitably. Equitably. Share income. I am recently engaged and have a hard time wrapping my mind around how to equitably share income and expenses.

My partner makes considerably more money than I do. He's a doctor salaried around $600,000 a year. Holy fuck. I was not aware that doctors made that much. Okay. I work in education and make less than $50,000 a year. How should we split the bills? Oh my God, this is such a long conversation and I could carry on for a very long period of time to the point that everyone's going to be so sick of my shit.

So, I'm the opposite. I'm usually the breadwinner and then my partner is the one that's making less than $50,000 a year. And I feel like when I go into the, I don't think anyone has ever that I've been with has ever really made close to what I make. And we go into the relationship knowing that. So, for example, not to put my fucking business out there with Javi because I know I'm going to get a fucking nasty email after this. But I've always made more than he did and he's still, I don't know if it's just him as a provider, but he always took care of the mortgage. And I think I've said this before, he took care of the mortgage, he took care of all of the utilities and then I would do the groceries and the vacations. When I was with Joe in high school, it was really difficult and it was more like completely 50-50 even though he was making more than me at the time.

He had a full-time job and I didn't. So, I only had that one lump sum of $5,000 and then from MTV and then my, I think I was making $10 an hour at Sports Authority and PetSmart and things like that. So, I won't really count that one because we were still in high school. At the time, Chris made no money. Malik also, you know, didn't really make a whole lot of money. So, it's always been that way and I never really expected them to pay half. I just wanted them to hold a little bit of their weight. And my biggest thing for Malik, which never happened, was I understand that you can't help me financially and that's okay, but take something off my plate, maybe mow the lawn for me so that I don't have to hire a landscaper.

Yeah, I see, I get that. So, it doesn't make a difference to me if I make more or less, I'm never going to make them pay half when they don't make even half of what I make. Does that make sense? No, it totally makes sense. Actually, my sister and her friend Chad and I were having a conversation about this a couple of weeks ago and really about courtship and really vetting the situation. And then Chris and I kind of talked a little bit about it on the Southern T that, you know, you should really identify these certain things and work out whatever the arrangement is going to be before you move forward in a relationship rather than just going into something blindly. Because I think that that's where a lot of people start having hardship when they start talking about financial situation or maybe religion or, you know, how many kids or no kids. All of those things I think need to be had way in advance before you move into a situation to where you would be splitting or even talking about, you know, splitting finances or anything like that. I will say that someone who's making $600,000 a year and then someone who's making $50,000 a year, I don't see how it would necessarily be fair for someone that is making significantly less to have to match exactly what the person who is making significantly more is doing.

Right. That doesn't make sense to me at all. But then also, I will say, I don't think that it's fair for, so in my mind, the way I was raised, it's not fair for the person who makes more to have to front everything either. Correct. I mean, I wholeheartedly feel that way as well. It's not fair. We love care of, we love taking vitamins just like mine, literally right before we started recording and you want something that's convenient. That is care of.

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For 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code coffee 50. Again, that's 50% off your first care of order. Go to takecareof.com and enter code coffee 50. I had a conversation with a former friend of mine. I'm not going to name his name, but we had this conversation years ago, probably like two years ago. And he, I asked him, I said, so if you make more than she does, you still want her to pay 50% and he said, yes, absolutely. And I could not get behind that at all. See, I just, I completely disagree, but also I don't believe really in combining finances unless you are married or like splitting bills or anything like that. Like, but also I think it's the life phase that I'm in now as well that I'm not going to be moving in with anyone unless I was a engage like getting ready to get married and all those conversations had been had and income was looked at from both perspectives.

But I will also say, I think that you've got, you have to consider your raising when having this conversation as well, because I was raised that the man does X, Y and Z. And then these are, you know, the woman's responsibilities. And I know that that is kind of like a gender role or whatever. And I don't necessarily look at it that way, like whether it be man or woman, I think it's just traditionally like how I was raised that a man is to, you know, pay the mortgage like my dad always paid literally everything. I think Julie paid for like groceries and stuff like that, like extra stuff, but my dad took care of all of the main things. So I think that's how that's, that was Javi's mindset as well. Was Javi raised like that? I believe so.

Yeah. And I don't want to speak on how he was, I believe it was. Yeah. And I mean, Julie made her own money. So it wasn't like, you know, she was not making anything and she was just like penny pinching and couldn't afford. My dad's just always, you know, carried most of the weight. And as a man, he always tells us like that is his responsibility to provide for his wife and for his kids. And he shouldn't be taking on a wife or a man shouldn't be taking on a wife if he can't provide for her.

But I do think that in today's society, men are very different today than they were then and have completely different outlooks on things. Like everything should be 5050. Like why should I have to pay more than you should have to pay? I think typically men make more that's a whole different conversation, I think we could go on and on about that part of it. I'm like, do we think society is fair for a woman? Like that's a whole other conversation to be had. But I will say, you know, I'm to answer this person's questions specifically, I don't think it would be fair for her to be going 5050. When the income discrepancy is as big as it is as big as it is.

Right. If it was closer, I think 5050 would be fair for both of them. But it's just not, I mean, that's not, that's barely a fraction of what he makes. Oh, wait. So this is like not about this topic, but it's great to like include in this. So I was out with some of my girlfriends this weekend, went to dinner and we were having a couple of drinks. And one of the girls is not going to name her, but she said that she had gone on a date with this guy. And it was a first date.

And she said she likes to pretty much like clean house and really like get to the nitty gritty, get answers for things. Like, is this even worthy of going on a second date, which I kind of love. And she said that he had two kids. Okay. And he and his ex-girlfriend were going to move or his ex-girlfriend was going to move in with him and his two kids. And he expected her to pay 50%, but she was not bringing like a kid or anything into the situation. No. But he was expecting her to pay 50% of everything.

No. And so I just wonder what people think about that. I don't like that. And even we've, I've gone on vacations with partners and extended family members. And they also, you know, we've had that conversation when it came to splitting like the condo, the apartments, the Airbnb, etc. You know, we're bringing kids. So that should be accounted for. I mean, maybe they don't count as a full person because they're not going to take a 30 minute shower or whatever.

They're not going to, you know, eat half the food or whatever, but no, you're not. And I understood that. Like if we're going on an Airbnb and I'm bringing four fucking kids and then another family member is not bringing any, I should pay more for my children. I mean, I 100% agree, but I also had this conversation with my parents not too long ago. If you're talking about, let's say it's a relationship situation and you have your kids and you're dating someone. And, you know, they're not bringing any kids or they're bringing less into the relationship than you are. Truly to me, if you are financially where you feel that you are comfortable and like you're happy in your financial situation. And they're also happy in their financial situation.

I don't believe that it is productive to penny pinch basically like, oh, well, you have this amount and I have this amount. And so I'm going to pay this and you're going to pay that because I think if the relationship's right, then you look at it as a union that you're all one. And I don't really believe that, you know, if I'm dating someone with more than what I have kids wise that I should necessarily pay less. Like I've just never thought of it like that. For example, like if suburban dad and I were like going to do something and he had both of his kids, I'm not going to be like, oh, well, I'm going to pay less because you have one more kid than me. No, I'm not. No, and I agree that there's only one kid difference. You know, I'm talking, I'm bringing four of my kids and someone has zero.

You know, there's a bigger discrepancy between that. You know what I mean? Like we're most likely going to eat more. We're most likely going to be doing whatever more, but one kid difference, even two kids difference, probably not. You know what I'm saying? This is a question that I'm posing to everybody, including you. If you are getting in a situation with a man and you have all of your children, does a part of you also long for them to want to take care of you and your kids to a degree? Yes.

And like you're always not the one that like just has to think about your kids like you want to think about them together because that's my thought process. Like if I'm going to be with someone that has kids, I want to take those kids on as my own. Yes, that's how I am. That's 100. And I think that's why I struggled. I have struggled in relationships because I've seen hobby take on Isaac 100% like his own. And then I've been in other relationships where the person doesn't. And you just, you feel it, you know it, you see it.

I mean, I hate to talk good about him because he did me so dirty, but Malik loved my kids like his own, all fucking four of them. So, you know, he, he really did love the shit out of my kids. And so it was really hard to be with someone who only loved them like a little, I don't know how to say it like. I feel like if you can't love them as your own and you're just in the situation to be with the person, then it's going to ultimately end poorly because those kids are a part of you and a big part of you. And so if someone can't take on the responsibility of loving those kids in the way that they need to be loved in order for you to be able to love that person in the way that you need to love them, then it's just wrong. I could never imagine like I was just sitting here thinking of an example when we went to Disney and suburban dad had his youngest daughter. After dinner, we went to a Disney store and Jackson wanted to get these little Disney characters that like you can dress up, whatever. And it never crossed my mind like not to buy her one too.

And in that situation, I would have never done more for my own than I would have done for his. Right, totally 1000% and I these conversations are so tricky for me because I really do want to respect my baby dads, but like it does relate to the conversation so much. So like obviously I've talked about it before so I don't mind mentioning it again, but like Chris had a nephew that it was like a son to me, you know, like he I would never have second like if we're going on vacation, I would have taken him in a heartbeat. You know what I mean? And then same for another one of my ex exes who now has another child. He literally thanked me when we contemplated getting back together. He literally thanked me and said like, thank you for treating my other child like your own. Thank you for the way that you engage and interact with him.

And so it's just you just don't you don't think twice like but that's just the type of people we are and I don't think that men are always the same. I noticed that the women that I've been with are more take them on as your own where the men that I've been with are 5050. Literally 5050 if I can think of four exes in the past 1213 years 50% of the men love my kids like my own like their own and 50% do not. That's just so hard because I don't think that I could be where I needed to be. I know I couldn't. I'm going to go ahead and say I know I couldn't. I couldn't be where I needed to be in a relationship with a man that could not treat my child as their own or have love for them in that way to like desire to do that. Because ultimately I'm going to be I'm not going to be fulfilled because I'm always going to have a longing for that because I know that that's what I need for the situation.

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But now I have my doctors who remember me remember why they see me and it's really nice. So I highly recommend Doc Doc to find the perfect doctors that you guys are looking for. I feel like Doc Doc just makes it so easy to answer your question. Yes, I do use Doc Doc. I've used them for some time now for various different reasons but they make it so easy to find quality doctors that are in your network and also in your neighborhood. And you can look up real patient verified reviews and you're going to find the right doctor for you and you're going to be confident in that. And like Kale said it's so bad like when you go to a doctor and they don't remember your name. I don't really have confidence in that doctor to be telling me what's actually going on.

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Actually I saw this thing. It's this dating advice meme and need to know how you feel about it kind of goes along with like all of these little topics. But it said the only dating advice my mom has ever given me and then it's a screenshot from her mom. And it says do you know what the six six rule six six six rule is when dating and she says no. No I've never heard of it. No I've never heard of it. Six inch dick six for your salary six feet tall or you don't date. Bye bye.

Wait can I just say like I'm not even like my baby dads probably feel the same way about me and I know that because I'm not fit. I'm not healthy right now. I'm not really taking care of myself and I'm not really the whole package like I offer some things but I'm not like a 10. Only now at 30 years old am I looking at my kids dads and realizing that they are some of them are don't really have the criteria for the type of this is going to come off so fucking shallow. But like in terms of like having elite children and having children have good genes have good mental health like I did not look at that when I was in these relationships. You get what I'm saying and they probably didn't look at them with me. So I look at my kids now and I'm like I think that this is like a really smart rule. I mean it's a little shallow but if you're talking about in terms of like I hate like breeding a dog like you want all the genetics to be lined up you want it to be.

You want them to have the looks the brains the health the everything. Haven't you ever like been told by a man like you're a good breeder. No. Yeah it's like they look at you and it's like OK you know you are and then they list like all of your qualities that are like great and it's like OK well thank you and I want to breed with you like you've never been told that. Lux and Creed actually all of my children I think are very good looking children but they're definitely all going to have some some mental health issues from both sides like because I have my own mental health issues. Their dads all have their own mental health issues like I probably should have picked ones that didn't have because I had you know what I mean. OK I mean we all have mental health issues to some degree some are just like more severe than others but everybody struggles with mental health stuff on occasion. OK so the six six six rule I think this six inch dick is like that should always remain.

Right like that's a that's a constant right. If not that's just not going to be probably that great in that category and so you know maybe someone else wants like a five one so then like you. Why would they want that. Maybe someone does I'm not saying it's me or you. I'm saying it's for sure not us. It's for sure not us. So we know that that six needs to stay. Yeah that six needs to say the six figure salary.

That one. No because it's just not realistic. I don't think that's realistic. Would it be nice. Yeah of course a hundred percent we all want to strive for that but is it realistic. No. Now the six feet tall one is one that I wish that I had sought out because none of my kids dads are six feet tall. Okay well suburban dad close specifically is five nine and I always look at taller guys for whatever reason but for whatever reason him being five nine caught me so that one I guess in the situation would be like eliminated.

The six figure salary I got to go back to that though because then we get into the debate of if you're dating would you rather be with a man who is already established or would you rather be in a situation to where you're growing together. Talked about this with my parents too and they said that there's a couple things of what's wrong with myself and my sister. I think for me I would rather be with someone who's established only because the thought of growing together you don't know what direction you're going to be growing in and then also there is a potential for more bumps in the road I feel like. So we said that too but my parents had nothing before they met each other and then grew to what they have together and I feel like they respect each other so much for it. And there was so much struggle so I think the appreciation there looks very different. However in the situation that you're in in the situation that I'm in and specifically the situation that my sister is in. I think because of reality TV and because of influencing or whatever you want to call it podcasting it has provided a nice life for us. And so I think it would be hard for me to be with someone who is my age who is still growing in their career or like in early phases of their career because I'm just not going to have much there's not going to be much assimilation there.

Okay. And so ultimately that weeds out a lot of people because I'm at a place where I feel comfortable and that doesn't mean that I'm always going to be in this place like anything can happen tomorrow right. Of course. But I don't know that it would be wise for me to jump into a situation because also you've got to consider that you know someone who is more established is probably going to have more flexibility in their schedule. And I love being able to have the flexibility that I have so I think that would be like a whole nother obstacle as well. Right. Yeah. And that's what I mean as far as like the bumps in the road you know like I'm not saying there's not power in the struggle because there is there's there's there's a lot to to come from the struggle. And I think that sometimes you appreciate things when you struggle through it and you make it work and you grow together but I don't know where I am today with four kids. I just need someone who's more like I need someone established you know.

Will and I grew together and I feel like we grew together but in different directions. And to me that is like such a risky place to be to know to invest so much time into a situation knowing like you're both you know in the struggle trying to advance in your careers trying to do all this stuff and then ultimately like it doesn't work out. At least if I'm with somebody who's grown and I'm also grown. I'm just like if it doesn't work out then you know we didn't really struggle together that much. We just like had a good time and then it just like didn't end up sizzled out. Yeah. No totally. I also saw this Tik Tok.

It was about coaching women to be who you want and I want to play it for you because I knew I knew whenever I saw this. I was like Kale's going to have a lot of opinions about it. Okay. The best kitty in the world. Which woman has the best kitty in the world. You want to know who that woman is. It's the woman who is extremely interested in you. I'm talking about when you talk she listens you say jump she says how high you say I need you here at eight she's there at 740 ready to go.

Okay. It's the woman that is heavily heavily interested in you. Here's the problem. A lot of guys might say well the girl that's interested in me is not my type. Okay. She's like four. All right. Turn that four into a six.

Okay. I say this all the time. It's your responsibility to kind of groom cultivate and coach the woman that you want. Turn her into the woman you want. Clearly she has to be willing to want to do it. You can't do it by force but if she wants to be under your leadership. Take that four and turn her into your seven eight maybe even nine is it possible. Absolutely as possible.

I don't I have I don't know how at first I was like okay okay because I was that girl I was the one that was fucking head over heels for someone. And I literally would have said how high if he told me to jump like that's how fucking invested I was. But now looking on the outside I was I was weak I had no self confidence I had no fucking I had no self worth like I didn't know you know what I'm saying but to say if she wants to be under your leadership what are you a fucking cult leader. So I love the first part of that tick tock and then when it got towards the end I was like oh that took a spooky turn like yes that's exactly how I feel. Because I fully and because I did so many things wrong in my marriage. Now I just know better so I know being in a relationship that I want a man to know that he basically hung the moon in my eyes like he is the bees knees like he is the best. I have eyes for no one else like I want to give that to a man. But at the same time I don't want him trying to mold me and create something out of me that I'm not right for it to accommodate his need.

I think that there is something to be said for growing together whether that be spiritually or whether that just be making positive life changes that you knew that you already needed to make before you got into that relationship. And if you're working towards change in that area whether that be for a man or a woman I think that that is positive. There can't there has to be another person out there that is kind of on the same path as you and who wants to make some of the same changes and the same sacrifices and the same things without having to mold them or groom them or change them like. And some relationships even thrive with having opposites that don't necessarily have the same the same exact goals or growth expectations but they are still growing towards something and they can support each other. But I don't to for either a woman to change a man or a man to change a woman or a woman to change a woman or a man to change a man like for any of that it's just like no the answer like I want to be in a relationship where we both have equal say. Because I actually don't love being in a relationship where I feel like I have a bigger say because I am the breadwinner or because I am the boss or because I wear the pants or because I'm the alpha I don't love that. I really don't. I saw this one thing a couple of weeks ago and it was talking about being in the woman being in the presence of a man when women exert masculine energy it's because she doesn't feel safe but when she can exert feminine energy.

It's because she feels safe and she's in the right situation and I think that's very true for me and probably for you as well like when I don't feel like I have to be the leader all the time and make all of the decisions and do all of the things. That's where you're going to get like masculine me when I know that I'm safe and a man's presence and he's got it and I don't have to worry about it I'm in a very much exert feminine energy. So I do agree with that to an extent however I was in a really really toxic relationship for five years and I was more feminine. Not feminine that's the wrong word I was more submissive not because I felt safe and not because I wasn't the alpha but because I wanted to comply and please him. He was not good to me. I didn't feel safe but I wanted him to want me and I wanted him to love me and so I submitted to him even when I didn't necessarily want to. So yes I agree with what you're saying to a degree but then I also submitted and was I guess less masculine for different reasons as well. What do we think about the quote don't get into a relationship wanting or expecting someone to change if you truly love someone you love and accept everything about them and wouldn't want them to change.

I don't know that I necessarily agree with that. Well I always want people to like grow. I want them to do better. I want them to have goals and things but to change. No I don't necessarily know that I want someone to change. I would want them to strive for something to have I don't know just like I don't know. I think that you should be in a relationship where you feel comfortable to be who you are. But if you can identify in yourself that there needs to be change in yourself goes back to what I was saying like if it's a positive change knowing that that's an area that there is possibility for growth then should definitely do it.

And I think we all have areas of growth and naturally when you get with somebody there's going to be things that you love and then things that you're like OK you kind of like need to work on that. But I also think it's about the approach right like are we working on this together or are you just like identifying all the shitty parts of me and making me feel bad about myself because you truly don't love me for who I am. Right. I mean that makes sense. Yeah that's really all I got on that. OK. The holiday season is sneaking up on us and it's coming quickly. So if you had extra time to I don't know maybe not go to the post office and just mail things out from home would you do it because I would.

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Well I think we could do foul play I was going to talk about a couple other things but we're almost out of time so we'll save them for next week and we will read. Oh I just saw are we going to cover the watcher. I did watch it I finished it so if you all want to cover it we can cover it. I didn't watch it. What is it about. It's based on a true story about a house in New Jersey. Like a little thriller I guess you could call it. Is this something that like I would would I watch the watcher. I think you'd be bored.

OK so I will try to give it a shot and if I'm bored within the first like is it an episode or is it seven episodes. Yeah if I'm bored in the first episode then like immediately it's off the table. So that's that and yeah let's do foul play. OK this story grosses me out as I'm reminded of it daily. I hooked up with a co-worker at my house one weekend. It wasn't our first time hooking up but it will definitely be our last. So things were getting pretty hot and heated. He was doing things to me that I loved and it was really turning me on.

As I went down on him all I could smell was shit. I was gagging and trying so hard not to puke. I finally stopped giving him head and we did other things and finished. Now weeks later I'll be minding my own business going on with my life and I will remember the smell of shit that night. And I start gagging. To make it even worse I work with him every time I see him at work daily. The thought of that night and the smell instantly pop into my mind. He has hit me up multiple times to hang out again and I just come up with an excuse to him of why I can't.

I mean I can't tell him that he smelled like shit. The sucky part is that we've had the best sex I've ever had but now the smell of shit has forever ruined that. I love your podcast ladies. Thanks for giving me something to look forward to every week. My favorite was listening to Lindsay do foul play with Todd. OK first of all. Oh no. There is a reason why we should encourage people to be self aware.

And if someone literally has dingleberries hanging out of their ass and expecting you to suck their dick. I am so alarmed. This goes to the conversation of do you think toilet paper really cleans someone's ass after they've taken a shit. And my answer is simply absolutely not. No it does not. You need to invest in wet wipes. Flushable wipes. Whatever kind of wipes.

You need to invest in something that is wet to literally wipe your asshole to get whatever off. Like where you use a bidet like there's multiple options on what could happen here. Also if you're hooking up with a co-worker and they've come over to your house or you've gone over to their house and like that person didn't shower and took a shit before you got there knowing that they were going to hook up with you. Like they were not self aware at all. They lack self awareness. Yeah yeah I mean that's really sad because she said it was the best sex ever. I just feel like when I have my lifetime like leaked urine because I have four fucking kids. I'm self aware that I have leaked urine during my day sometimes or I sneeze too hard or you know something like that.

I will go take a shower right because I know that even if I don't smell it the smell could possibly be there right. If I go all day I'm at the football field etc. I'm not even going to try to have sex without showering like it's just not happening. Nope nope. In fact I am literally making my entire schedule around me showering if you're coming over or if I'm going to your place or if I'm even meeting you somewhere. Yeah because you never know. Like if you're like kill you could like end up in a mall parking lot in the back of a BMW getting pregnant so like no. Not getting pregnant. Oh my god are you reading the second one or you want me to read it. Hey girls I was dating a guy for almost two years when we broke up because I thought he was cheating on me.

A few months later we started seeing each other and I thought we could work it out. One day I went for a routine guide in college's appointment and found out I had an STD. Oh fuck no. I was shocked because I thought he was serious about working it out. When I told him he felt awful and apologized. I didn't learn my lesson because we kept seeing each other after a couple months later. I feel like this is me. Did you write this in also.

A couple months later I met someone new and wanted to see where it would go. So I broke things off completely about a month into seeing the new guy. He told me he was having pain down there and wanted to get checked out. I immediately knew what it was but played it off like I had no idea when he told me that he had an STD and I needed to get checked. I wanted to die. I felt terrible. I knew we were going to break up and try to just get it over with. He was like what that's no reason to break up.

I couldn't believe it. Fast forward five years and we're still happily married. Have a baby and he is now a dad to a child from my other relationship. I feel like that's grown but wait why was she I thought she went to go get checked for an STD. Didn't they cleared clear it up. I have a couple questions here. So either he is sneaky or maybe she had been sleeping with him after the fact and then he like gave it to her again. Okay right right right because she said one day went to found out I didn't learn my lesson and kept sleeping with each other.

So he didn't get treated and she got the STD again. Okay I mean unfortunately that's you know. But like first of all. Why didn't he get treated though. I've never had an STD but first of all if I ever got one from someone. I immediately would like not keep fucking with them because they didn't care about the safety of like my health. And I'm just like not okay with someone who is out here just like sticking it wherever and then think that they're going to pull up on me like that. No like not happening but also it makes me wonder if this guy was also like doing some stuff like on the side and maybe he thought he got it from somewhere else and didn't realize.

I don't think so. He just seems too mature because he said what that's no reason to break up. No if you give me an STD we're breaking up like that is actually a reason like you wouldn't break up with someone if they give you an STD. I already know your answer no. I mean. No they're getting broke up with like I'm sorry on the circumstances like I feel like I could be mature but like say because some I mean unfortunately some some STDs and STIs they lay dormant for months. So I just feel like it just depends on the circumstances and like a man could carry around Chlamydia and have no idea gives it to a woman and the woman has symptoms. You get what I'm saying so like you didn't even know.

Yeah but like also I'm still pissed off if they did that and I'm still not talking to them ever again. And like they're going to hear actually I am talking to them. They're going to hear everything that I have to say about them. So what should you take accountability for not making him wear a rubber. What if let's say a hypothetical situation that you think you're in this committed relationship. And yeah and so you're like you're not pulling out rubbers all the time right right right right right right. So then that becomes that person's fault for subjecting you to that when you were under the impression that the circumstances were different. So no I'm not taking responsibility for that.

I am immediately pissed off and I'm immediately going to tell you about it and then I'm going to tell you about it in the foreseeable future. And then I'm also going to occasionally send you a text message if I'm not blocked to let you know about what like big piece of shit that you are for doing what you did to me. And then I'm literally never having sex with you again. I mean I do feel like that's fair too. So on that note if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram make sure you follow us over there and if you have not subscribed our show you can do that from any podcast app and always at podcast one first. We hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. 8 and review now at Apple podcast Spotify Amazon music and your favorite podcast app.