Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 93: Love, Loss, & Step-Parenting w/ Guest Brittany Price Brooker

Episode Date: August 22, 2019

Kail reads a listener message & they weigh in on step-parenting. Kail shares her experience with Vee & now with Lauren. They welcome guest, Brittany Price Brooker to share her story of loss & love. They talk about explaining death to a child. Brittany describes meeting her current husband, who was also a widow. They talk about being boy moms & the biggest challenges of motherhood.

Hey guys, welcome to Coffee Combos, Lindsay, I got a really cute message, well, not cute, but I got a good message on Instagram last night, so I want to read it to you. Let me hear it. Okay, so this is from Madison. Canna. Hey ladies, love the both of your shows and listening to the podcast. It's the only thing I listen to when I'm in the car. I've heard Kale talk about Lauren sometimes and I've wondered about what are some things that you see are okay for a stepmom to do with your child. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has a four-year-old daughter of his own that I love like my own. There are so many

things I would like to do with her, such as taking her to dance classes, school, and just little things like that. I'm very open with her mom about some of the things I want to do with her, but I'm always scared that I'm going to overstep boundaries. What are some things that you would be okay for your boy's stepmom doing and what are some things that you would not be okay with? So, I told her that we would read this on the podcast today. Okay, well, first of all, the fact that she would even seek a mother's advice that is in the situation speaks volumes about her character because that means she's respectful. So, that's amazing because a lot of stepmoms or girlfriends or whatever, I think probably

go into the situation and they just assume that they can kind of take the place. And I think that it's a weird place to probably be in for everybody and I don't think that the stepmom ever thinks like, okay, yeah, they're trying to be helpful and be there for the child, but you do kind of have to consider the mom's feelings and you have to consider, you know, what that looks like in the bigger picture. I think right away when I was younger with Isaac's stepmom, I mean, V came in pretty early and I was in a different place so I probably didn't want her doing any of the firsts with him. Like anything that was going to be his first time doing something I really didn't want her to be a

part of. One, because they hadn't been together long and you're fearful that like it might not work out and then he would have to use memories with somebody that wasn't going to Yeah, I mean, we were young. I was 18. So it was really hard. I think the same thing now, like if Chris were to be with somebody else and do a first with Luxe, I mean, even at 27, I feel like I would be pretty hurt, right? Yeah, depending on like for a first haircut, like absolutely not. Do not even think about taking him. Yeah. I mean, even now, but I mean, if you talk to the, like if V came to me or Lauren came to me, which she never has, and said, Hey, Kale, like I really want to sign Lincoln up

for whatever. I'd be like, Okay, cool. Like I'll take him on my week. Yeah, you take them, you take, you know, the kids on your week and I'll take the kids on my week and, you know, when I see you, I see you. But like now that Lincoln and Isaac are older, I can't really think of anything that I wouldn't want them to do. Can you? I mean, no, not really. I mean, you've let Isaac go to Disney World with Javi and Lauren, right? No, I was not there. Was she there wasn't there? Somebody it was Brianna. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I had already also taken Isaac and Lincoln to Disney. Right. So it was like not the brand new thing. Right. Yeah. I'm trying to think

of like, I know from my perspective, like whenever Will and I went through marriage problems and, you know, filed for divorce, but, you know, then reconciled. I know that like one of my biggest hang ups was that you didn't want someone else. I felt like I wanted to make it work for us, but I also wanted to make it work for Jackson because I didn't want somebody else like the thought like consumed me of knowing that somebody else would eventually be like making his lunch or like taking him to school or like maybe soccer practice or I guess for the situation with V, I feel like it's like a third parent. And so like, I know you're going to love him like a bonus parent. Yes. But I know that V would never she doesn't

overstep. Like V does not ever, I don't even know how to explain this. Like she doesn't, I can't think of a time that she like overstepped. It was like, I was like, wow, I'm really uncomfortable that she's doing that. Yeah. If they called her and wanted her to shop around for a field trip, I'd be fine with it. If she, if they called her because he's sick and I can't be there to go pick him up at school, I would be fine with it. I don't know. And I eventually would want to be there, I think with Lauren. But I'm trying to think like, I mean, they're in Disney, they're in Disney together now and it doesn't bother me. I think just the way that it started though, like with the whole situation, I think that that's probably

why you're less comfortable with her, but I think it can get there. I'm trying to think like, especially for Lux, right? Like he just turned two on Monday. If Chris were to be with somebody else, I, because he's so young, he, he still has a lot of firsts to do. He's like more needy too. Yes. I would be, I think very uncomfortable if like this girl, if Chris is with a girl, um, co-sleeping with him, like that would be a no for me. Yeah, I know. Like you're not going to put my son to sleep. Like I'm, that's just not happening. No, that's not a thing. Um, but like going to the zoo and stuff, if they, if Chris and his girlfriend were wanting to, I don't know, like, I guess that's such a hard question because it really

depends on the situation. So I hope, what was your name? My name was Madison. Madison, I hope that that helps. It was just like a bunch of rambling about our opinions that probably don't even matter. Well, she said in there that like she wants to sign or sign the daughter up for dance classes. Well, is that something that you guys can all like take turns going to? So like you still get to bond with the daughter. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. But the mom can also participate if she chooses to. So she's not left out. Then follow up with us and let us know the answer to that because I think that that would maybe change like perspective perspective. Yeah, I agree. So anyway, onto a different

note, we have a very special guest. Um, I found out about this guest when I was sitting in church one day. Um, my pastor was talking about a family that we should pray for. Um, and at the time, I don't know if they showed a picture, but I don't remember them showing a picture of her family. Um, I just remember like imagining what they looked like. I couldn't like, they must have tried to, they must have not have shown a picture because I remember like leaving church and saying to will like, well, I wonder what they look like. And if I've ever seen them before, like if you've crossed paths or anything. Yeah. And so, um, it stayed on my mind for an extended period of time because I couldn't even wrap my head

around the story. And, um, it was just basically like a prayer request to the congregation of the church, um, for this family. So today we have Brittany Price Brooker on the podcast and I am so excited for her to be able to share her story with you guys because, um, it's truly an amazing story from just what I know and have seen, but I haven't heard it directly from you. So welcome. Yeah. Thanks for coming on. Thanks girl. It's such a blessing to be here. Yeah. So a little bit of my background is I was kind of the girl that was like, man, I'm not going to date around. Like I'm going to wait for this, this amazing guy to come in my life. And you know, everyone makes fun of you. Like, yeah, sure you're going to find

this guy, but I was like, listen, he is out there. Exactly. Right. Um, and so the Lord brought this like amazing man into my life. He was six, five, you know, tall, dark handsome, like all the things so funny, so much fun to be around. And so we fell in love very quickly and decided to get married. And so, um, how old were you? I was 21 and he was 26. Um, and we got pregnant like six months after getting married. I know. It was like a fairy tale. So summer is here, but there's still some time to get yourself beach ready by letting the workouts come to you. Getting fit and staying healthy has never been easier than with open fit. Open fit takes the complexity out of losing weight and getting fit. It's

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eventually we'll have a girl like who cares, you know? And every time you found out we're having a boy, he was like, yes, another wedding. I don't have to pay for it. So we were like, you know, I say live in the dream, but that may not be other people's dream. But for me, like I'd always dreamed about being a wife and a mom. And I was just madly in love with my husband. And you know, life kind of felt like whack-a-mole, which I know you guys get this with young kids, but you put one down for nap, the next one pops up and then you get the next one down. And it was just crazy, not sleeping, you know, all the time. But I would text him often and just tell him like, I gotta live the dream. And I'm so thankful

I get to do this with you. And so in the fall of 2015, we had three kids under the age of three. I had a little newborn and I had one and a half year old and almost three year old. And so it had been like a long night where we weren't sleeping. And so as you can imagine, we were exhausted when we woke up. And my husband was like, hey, I'm just going to go ahead and go to work. And in that moment, I remember being like, you know, I was in pain from having childbirth. And I was like, man, I was up with the kids all night last night. Like I need to tell him, Hey, I need some help there in the night. Yeah, I know they use that work card, right? Like I got that nine to five. And I almost said that.

And then I felt like God told me, Brittany, don't say that. And you know, I don't know about you, but like sometimes you argue with that, like, listen, this is legit. Okay, I'm in pain. I really need help. But I didn't say that. And instead I was like, baby, you look so hot in that suit. And I hope you have the best day at work. I love you. You're a man, angel. Right. So no, the Lord was gracious. I'm not Brittany and I struggle. Okay, y'all for real. So he went to work and I said goodbye to him, give him a kiss. And he went to work and I got my little people together to go to Bible study. And I dropped them off. And I don't know about you guys, if you drop your kids off anywhere, like that they lose their

mind, it sounds like a murder scene. Well, that's kind of typical of my life. And so they went in without melting down. And I just felt like, yeah, this was the victory dance right now. I mean, this first time ever. Yes. So I get there. And we're going around like talking about different things. And I'm nursing my little newborn in the phone rings. And the first time I answered, I was like, I'm not answering it. And then the second time I just felt like something in me like, okay, there's something wrong. Yeah, Patrick. And so I answered the phone call. And it was his boss on the other line. And he said, Hey, Patrick felt work, has he been sick lately? And I'm like, no, he's a perfectly healthy

30 old man, like I just saw him a couple hours ago. And he said, Okay, well, I tell you what, he's headed to the hospital right now, we're going to come send a vehicle to come get you because he was in law enforcement. And they're like, we can get you there a lot faster than you driving because we can put the lights on. And so I thought, Okay, like that's totally normal. So I got my kids child care figured out. And I waited in the rain for what felt like literally hours, but it was literally one hour that I waited in the rain for this vehicle to come get me. And it was raining really crazy that day. And so several vehicles had come to get me and had gotten car accidents or gone to the wrong place. And it just felt

like everything was making it where I was not able to get to my man. And I just remember like staying there like get me to my man, like I know right now he is making all the nurses crack up with his jokes and sarcastic as all get out. And I like grab like food bars and water and like, okay, we're going to go and it's going to be great, you know, everything's fine. He's probably just tired. And so in that moment, we got in the vehicle with all the law enforcement people that were there. And I just remember them looking at me and saying like, Brittany, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, it's okay, like we can trust God. I don't know what's going on, but we can. And I felt like this crazy peace come

over me. And I just kept thinking of the scripture verse that peace that passes on understanding will guard your hearts and your mind and Christ Jesus. And so we went and it was another hour to get there. And I remember I got this point, you don't remember telling you anything. Yeah, they want to tell me anything. They said like he fell, you know, you're just kind of like, okay, what's going on? I don't really know. And I mean, I didn't even text people like, like pray using the hospital. I mean, I just kind of didn't know anything. And then I remember on the way, I think I put something on like Facebook or something like pray, you know, Patrick felt work or something like that. And so we get there. And it was just

one of those moments where you knew you need to remember every detail of this. And so I remember really odd things that I wanted to have normally like picked up in my observation, but like, yeah, they were so heightened. And I just remember just running as fast as I could into that hospital, not even knowing where I was going, but I was booking it to get in there on my boots and like in the puddles and the security was waiting for me. It's like they knew I was coming and they sent me right in and they brought me to a hallway full of people saw written all over the faces and I knew it was coming and they pulled back the curtain and they sat me down and they said, I'm so sorry that Patrick died. His

heart just stopped beating and we don't know why. And then that moment, I mean, it feels like a TV show. Like this is not my life right now. There's no way like I am what is going on. And I just remember saying the Lord gives and takes away. Blessed be his name. He's so good. And just the piece that surrounded me, but then the utter like unbelievable heartbreak. That made me feel like, oh my goodness, I'm 25 and I walked in here like a beloved wife, like thinking I'm going to go laugh with my husband and joke about how newborns make you exhausted. And then I'm walking out a widow and like we were getting ready to go because you know, I had a newborn that wasn't feeding on a bottle and I'm like,

what do you do? Like what in the world? What's the next step? I don't even know. Yeah, never planned for this to be your life. And I remember walking down the hallway and the lady was like, Hey, I've got something for you. And they handed me a bag with his belongings in it and had his wedding ring and his watch and his phone and his wallet. And that was it. And I thought like, this is all I have of my husband left. Like this is crazy. And so got in the car and was just trying to figure out, you know, how do I tell my boys this? The next day was my boys third birthday. Yeah. And so we had planned all this stuff. Like I already prepped all the food and I'm just like, how do I communicate this to my kids?

You know? And so I came home and I told my kids and you know, at that point, they don't really get it. I told them that daddy died and he was in heaven with Jesus and he wasn't coming back. And then I think that's the hardest part. I can imagine like explaining to a child the permanence of death. Like they don't and they don't get it. They don't. They don't get it. And some of it is a beauty of how kids deal with grief because they can go in and out like they can be laughing like hysterically like having the best time and then green will hit them where like an adult, whether we're laughing or crying, we always have it running in our minds if you're grieving any type of pain. And I just think like pain is pain

no matter what you're walking through. And so, you know, there are definitely times where like when we moved back in my house when the garage door went up the first time they went running and they said, daddy, daddy. And I was like, no, like how do I explain this? Like he is not coming back. And that's so hard. But in the beauty of explaining that one day we will see him again and explaining that to them. And just, you know, my one and a half year old had never said mommy before. He's one of those kids not because he couldn't because he won it. And so that night you just kept crying for daddy over and over again. And I just went in there and it was the first time I was really alone that day. And just

was like wrestling with all of it and just thinking back on every part of my life. And you it's really like the highlight of your entire life is running in your head and you're going, okay, do I have regrets? Like, how was our marriage? How is our parenting like all these things? And I'm just really thankful that I really didn't have regrets. Like we had a good marriage, not because I'm perfect and not because he was perfect, but because when we messed up, we made it right. You know what I'm saying? Because everyone messes up and we didn't dress as much as anybody else. So that was like a beginning of my journey and, you know, raising three boys by myself when you just never imagined being a single

mom and also walking through the grief of it. And there's no breaks and there's no like and just explaining like, they'll never know the daddy that grew them, you know, and that was so crazy. But God was just so faithful in the process. It's literally heartbreaking to do know that Pastor Johnny had sent a prayer request for for you guys. We were I was literally the last person that found out he died. Oh, wow. Which is crazy to me. And at first it kind of like made me mad of like, I'm the wife and I'm the last person to find out everything. But really the grace of God was thousands of people were praying for me before I even knew I was praying for you and I didn't even

know you, which is amazing. I just like, it's hard to explain it. But like when he was, I mean, he didn't give like y'all's personal information, but just, you know, like that y'all remembers of the church and, you know, to pray for your, you know, basically pray for your journey of what you're going through and the different phases of grief, I guess. And I just couldn't, I just kept thinking like, I don't know why it was important, but I was like, what does this family look like? Like I was so interested to know, like, yeah, like who y'all were, because it makes the story more real. It's not just a story, it's a life, you know, when you see a face behind that. And we truly felt those prayers. Like

I felt like I should be drowning. And yet I wasn't. And I always say like, I just felt like God was just carrying me with his grace in a way that like I should be sinking right now and I'm not, and I don't understand this. It's not because of me. It's not like there was so many people that were loving us through that whole journey, people that didn't even know me. And I think that challenged me so much now of like, I don't care if I know this person or not, like I'm going to reach out to them. And if I feel that nudge that I should do something for me, like, I don't care what you think about me, you know what I mean? Like I'm going to do that because I was on the receiving end when strangers did something

for me and it would like show up on my doorstep and it would be exact moment where I needed it. And it like gave me enough encouragement to make it through the day, you know, and I want to be that in other people's lives too. So let's talk about traveling for a second because you know, Lindsay and I are always traveling away knows that everyone has a different travel style. And that's why away makes their carry on in two sizes, two materials and tons of colors. And with a hundred a trial on everything away makes you can feel comfortable taking your luggage out on the road and get lost with it. If you decide it's not for you, you can

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checkout. Once again, for $20 off a suitcase, visit away travel.com slash coffee and use promo code coffee during checkout. Well, so you go through all of this obviously like it never will go. The pain will never go away. But I guess it changes over time. I know whenever I lost my granddaddy, it's not like losing a husband because that's your life partner, you know, but the grief like you go through the phases and it feels different at different times. Like you go through like the anger and you go through like the sadness and then you go through like feeling like you might be depressed and all of those things. How was it for you that you had to be strong

for three little boys? Like did you make sure and did you have friends that were surrounding you to make sure that you were taking care of yourself too? Yeah, I think I wasn't strong all the time for my kids because I wanted them to see too it's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt. And so that was important because I'm one of these people that I like I want to learn from others who walk before me and not just people that are like a couple years ahead. Like I talked to widows that you know were 20 years down the road and they had good, healthy kids and I said, what do you wish you would have done differently? What are you glad you did? And a lot of them said, I wish I wouldn't have

been so strong in front of my kids because then they bottled up their grief. And when they were teenagers, they came out in worse ways. And so for me, it was just sharing them that it's going to be okay, but then also crying with them. And even today, my son told me, he's like, mommy, sometimes you cry. And I was like, yeah, why does mommy cry? And he goes, because you really miss Daddy Patrick sometimes. And it was crazy because he's my baby. He doesn't even remember him. But he said, and sometimes it hurts me because I didn't know him. And like for him to be able to communicate that for is so good to give them the freedom to say, in our home, every emotion is welcomed. And you know what, sometimes

mommy felt angry about it. And sometimes mommy felt okay with it. And that's okay to feel those feelings. Instead of like, when they're crying, be like, it's fine, everything's going to be good, you know, there's a way of literally sitting with them in the brokenness and saying it's okay to be broken right now. And also showing them that the hope that we're going to be okay, and everything's going to be okay. And there's got to be like a balance of that. And so I did have a lot of people in my life and had a lot of counselors. And I think that's important to someone that is not emotionally involved in this situation that can come from a healthy point of view, because I think sometimes in the midst of emotions, you can think, oh,

this is healthy at that time, but you're so emotionally engaged, you can't detach to look from the outside and be like, actually, no, that's really not right now. And so having someone that you can bring in that says, Hey, you know what, I see this going on. And I just want to warn you about that might interfere with growth, you know, down the line or might be them stuffing things or just even learning how do kids grieve? Like, I know this, like, I have no professional. I mean, like in motherhood in general, there's no handbook on this situation, you know. And so learning and growing and being teachable and also learning it's okay to be broken. Yeah, you know, I think that a lot of people struggle with that. I've received

messages before from people saying that they don't know how to relate to people who are kind of broken because they've never gone through, you know, traumatic in their life. And I feel like until you have gone something like I haven't been through something like that traumatic, like my granddaddy was old and lived a good life. You know, so not that it was an expected death, but it's like, you know, he lived a good life. But to go through trauma like that, I feel like you just see life from like a completely different different way. Yeah. Oh yeah. And you do view it differently. And then you view how like helping people, you know, because I think it's pain is pain. You know what I mean? Like, I don't compare

my journey to your pain. Right. The reality is every single one of us have walked through pain in our lives. Exactly. And knowing that and not being a comparison of people and comparison of pain, but just saying like, Hey, we all go through stuff. And we're all in this together. None of us are perfect and just being okay with that. But entering someone's pain, like when it's awkward and just being there and saying, I'm so sorry, instead of like trying to fix it, I always say to feel it with them instead of trying to fix it. Right. But sometimes it hurts so bad to see them hurting so bad that you're like, I just want to fix this. And it's hard just to go in there and feel it with them. But yeah, we tend to want to

fix people's pains instead of feel it with them. And I think some people, they just want someone to enter in and be okay with that and be like, I'm so sorry. And just to hear them talk and just sit with them until they are okay. And I think that's the thing is not fix them, but sit there until they are okay. That's kind of just like sitting here. I'm almost at a loss for words because I don't know what to say, but I want obviously want to like be here for you. And you know what I mean? Like it's just one of those things where I feel like sometimes you don't know what to say, but they just don't need you to say anything back. Like you didn't maybe

need people to say anything back. Just listen. Sometimes you just need like a listening ear. Yeah. Because sometimes what people say might be like the totally wrong thing to say. I'm really bad about that. Yeah, I don't want to say the wrong thing or offend anyone. In fact, I actually have a story. There's two people in my life that I was decently close to like as friends. And I'm really bad about this, but I don't do well with like death because it's so permanent and I don't do well with like funerals. So I'll see like on Facebook with these two particular people and I don't want to call them out, but that lost like

a loved one and I didn't really reach out because I didn't know what to say because I didn't not because I didn't want to say something. Because you didn't want to say the wrong thing. I didn't say the wrong thing and I didn't know like really what to say. So I think from your experience, what would you give people advice like me that doesn't know what to do in situations like that? Because I feel like I'm so awkward when it's something so permanent. I think what you just said is actually so good about being honest. Like even writing a card, I don't even know what to say. It hurts me just to think about this. So I just want you know I love you and I'm here. Like something simple or just saying I'm so sorry

for the pain, like acknowledging what they're going through and saying that you love them through it. Because I think when people ignore it, it hurts even more. It's like I remember someone telling me once that they were walking through the grocery store and they saw someone after their loved one died. And the person was like a good friend and went the opposite way because they just didn't want to even see them. And they were like that hurt worse than them just acting like it didn't even happen. You know, like because they're like all I wasn't even going to bring it up. Like just be my friend. You know, and I think sometimes we think like for me, I wanted to hear how my friends were doing. Like I didn't want

to just talk about my pain all the time. I want to be like, how are you doing? Because I'm still your friend. Like I'm still Brittany and I hate that this happened. But for me, I just like would acknowledge the elephant in the room. So that people are like, well, you just said that nonchalantly. Like I guess we can just like that's okay. And I'm like, this is my life. Like this is nothing I could hide. This just affects everything in my life and so that's okay. You know, like I still want you to be able to talk about your family and talk about your husband. Right. Because like you said, you're not comparing pain. You still have to be the friend that you are, you know. Yeah. And you want to cheer people

on in their lives, you know, just because I lost my husband. Like when I saw people on your social media, like on dates with their husbands, I was like, man, if I could afford to send all my friends a gift card to go on a date, I would because I'm the biggest fan of enjoying your life. You know, like I want them to enjoy it and not take it for granted. You know, and I think so many people when you go, the woe is me and all towards your pain that it's just really unhealthy and it creates bitterness and self pitting and just resentment. But when you look at other people and you're like, okay, how can I encourage and find purpose in this? It really helps your perspective. Yeah, for sure. Okay, I

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but don't tell anyone that. And then he used the light to like show it. But this is the best offer available anywhere. So get to it. You have to go to Literati books.com and use promo code COFFEE for $20 off your first box, plus the free black light pen for kids three and up. That's Literati books.com promo code COFFEE. Well, back on the point that you were talking about having kind of like a person that was removed from the situation that wouldn't have like a vested interest or whatever. I dealt with that going through like marriage issues. I felt like it was good to have a person that like wasn't what you would call like a fan of will or a fan of me. You know, it was somebody

that could literally shoot our straight and be like, this is where you're wrong and this is where you're wrong. You know, like this is where you need to see things from and you need to apologize. It's probably, you know, so I'm definitely an advocate for having somebody that's a third party that just does not have a vested interest on either side or whatever. And I need all the help I can get. You know, so I'm like, I was thinking, don't we all? Yeah, exactly. So tell us fast forward. How long were you a single mom before you met your now precious husband? He's so cute. Thank you. He is amazing. So yeah, so that's a crazy part of my story that I never thought would ever happen. I mean, I literally, I'm so

interested. Yeah, it's so crazy. So I used to look, look at every guy and be like, you were so ugly compared to Patrick. Like I could not even like wrap my mind around that. Um, I mean, I just couldn't, like it was just so crazy. And then I have three kids, you know, like, it's not just about me, you know, like, it's about the kids too. Yeah, so different. And so it had been a year and a half of walking that journey and walking through counseling. And I remember my counselor at one time saying, like, you're in a good, healthy spot right now. That doesn't mean, you know, I still wasn't crying about Patrick and still wasn't hurting, but I just decided like, listen, I'm going to be the best thinkin widow. I can't

be cause that's what I am. Okay. So like, I'm sick of trying to fight this. Like this is my journey and I want to love my kids. Well, and we want to do this journey. Like we only get life one time. So let's do this thing, which took me a long time to get there. But when I got there, I was like, let's do this. Um, and in the process of like sharing our story and God was just bringing like all these people had walked through pain into my life. And so I was trying to encourage this family that was walking through death and this widower was encouraging the same family. His wife, yeah, his wife had died of cancer a month before my husband and they had two kids they had adopted. And this is

crazy. I don't know if I've ever shared this before, but I have the chills, like my hair standing. So the night my husband died or the day of my husband died. Um, my now husband, Daniel wrote this post on Facebook that went viral about, um, how he feels closest with his wife that died when he's like worshiping God. Cause that's what she's doing in heaven. And so all these people kept like reposting it, blah, blah, blah. So days later, I get this message and you know, I'm not even thinking that way. So I never thought of it that way. I just read the post like, oh, that's encouraging, blah, blah, blah. But it's crazy that that he wrote that on the same day that his like later, you know, wife lost her husband. So

that's like a crazy journey. But yeah, so we were helping this family. And so we got to know each other after like the 118th email, he was like, can I call you? And I'm like, what is my life? I don't know. What is this? Am I in middle school again? Like, I don't want this. This is so weird. It was so crazy. Do you have a crush on me? Right. Tell me now before I tell you yes or no, yes or no, like the fortune, the fortune teller. Yeah. Like the things that you like do the mash, you know, like, oh yeah, the mash thing. Check yes or no and send it back on an email. So yeah. So anyways, we talked on the phone and it was like for five hours and it felt like 30 minutes. I mean, this

guy just got my life, got that I was always going to be in love with Patrick yet I had such a heart for eternity and living for things that matter because when you walk through death, you live life so differently. And for someone to get that and get like your desire to not waste this pain and to use it for God's glory and for a purpose that's greater than us, you know, that's just such a rare thing. And so God started writing this crazy love story. And so yeah, and then we got married and we have, did you like, did you want to date? So at the time, I know details. So at the time, my schedule was really crazy. So I couldn't

even meet him for like a month. So we talked on the phone every night. Oh yeah. Well, I do it by choice though. I'm like, I just, I don't want to do it with you. I just want to talk. Yeah. And I think that's good because in a way, like I fell in love with his heart before there was anything physical. Like I never saw him in person and like, I just fell in love with this heart. And that was so good so that we have that foundation when we met that that's what I was in love with. And so that was amazing. But yeah, when I first met him, I was like, I know I'm going to marry this guy, which is so crazy.

Yeah. Well, they say when you know, you know, I do, but I had never, I was like, yeah, sure, you know, you know, but this time it really was that way. And then I was like, so, you know, they had two kids, I have three kids. So I'm not five kids. That's a lot of people. And I'm like, so how would you, you know, did you ever think you're going to have a big family? And he's like, if you're asking if I'm okay with being a father of five kids, I would be. And I was like, okay, right off the bat. He asserted.

Okay. So now you just graduated from a boy to a man. Exactly. Yeah. So he was like so bold in his pursuit of me because he was so confident that God led him there, which I needed because I was so like, what in the world is my life? This is crazy. I don't know. You know, just even, it's just hard. It's just hard emotions involved in all of that, but his pursuit and confidence helped so much. And then just hearing from God on it. And so we got married that summer. And so it had been two years past when my first husband passed away and his wife, when we got married. And so they calls the broker bunch because they're kind of like their Brady bunch. And our kids are like really

abnormally close in age. So right now they're eight, seven, six, five, four, and their ages. So everyone always is like, you know, I know exactly only one wedding because one girl has to have a girl now and you said that from the beginning, you said eventually, I know. And the cool thing too is the night that my husband, my first husband passed away, like I remember waking up in the middle of night crying and being like, I'll never have a little girl that has Patrick's blue eyes. And Aubrey, my girl has blue eyes, which is amazing. They all five up blue eyes, which is so crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like the craziest circus y'all. I got nothing together in life. I thought I was tired with three kids. Yeah,

I'm just lost it. No idea. Okay. You drive him in your van. Oh yeah, girl. I know. But I think we're out crying that. I mean, you can get a suburban. I drive a suburban with three kids. It's great. I saw here a more leg room because these people are, I know these people are getting taller by the day. Like what are we going to do with teenagers? I wonder the same thing. And the boys too. I'm like, my house always smells like socks and they're going to eat me out of a house and home because they eat so much. They eat so much. Y'all, it is insane. I feel like I have to tell them like things when I go to the grocery store when I'm checking out, like I feel like I always have to say, Oh,

by the way, I have five kids eating all of this food. Yeah. You don't want to be judged by the cashier. Exactly. And then like we have our kids with us. Then they're always like, so how old are your kids? Cause they see him like, how many sets of twins? And then the question's like, how long have you been married? And then they were like, Oh, and then my kids will just like, Oh, it's the judge family. Like, yeah. I know. And then then my kids will just drop things like, I have two daddies. I have two mummies. I have blah, blah, blah. And you're like, Hi, yeah. Thank you so much for mercy to have a great day. We're going to move past this. I knew that's where that was going. It was like

the judgment really set in when they start talking about moms and multiple moms and dads. Yeah. And I'm like, Hey, that's real life. That's every, you know, like that's real life with everybody, but it's just funny. And then they'll start dropping different things. And I'm like, just keep walking, just keep walking, keep walking. So guys, if you're like me, you wish someone would just cook dinner for you every night, you know, you're on the go and just have all this stuff to do all day long. And then you have to come home and cook. But I do have good news for you. Hello Fresh makes cooking meals delicious at home a reality. Regardless of your comfort in the kitchen, you can break out of your

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Mine tells everything. Tells how many crabs he takes a day. Oh, my little how many crabs I take a day. Oh, yeah. So like you didn't have to tell him the time I peed my pants on the way home from the airport. Like you didn't have to do that. There's so and there's so factual about it. Oh, yeah. There's no emotions. It's just like this happened. And you're like, well, why did we have to share that in this setting right now? No, when my oldest is about to say something and I'm looking at him and I'm like, it's like that. And then he's like, oh, you don't want me to share it now. I'm definitely sharing it. Yeah, exactly. My friend did that the other day. He looked at me and he was about to say something and

I looked at him and he did this I thing and he did the I thing back and I was like, yes, he got it. Yeah, six, but not like a teenager moment like we made it. So wait, so I stalk and I find you somehow like on my Explorer page on Instagram, like weirdly, well, because you follow her. So now she's going to be on. I wasn't following her yet. Oh, so I somehow like find you after like hearing about this a long time ago on Instagram. I'm like, wait, I think this is the role. So like I start like into stalking you and I'm like, oh, wow, like you're in your profile. It's like you, you know, you've married a widow, your widow. And then I see that you guys are doing like I still keep stalking you and I see that you

guys are doing home renovation. So did you guys move? Like did you tell us about like the journey of moving? Did you move out of your home that you had with Patrick or yes? Okay, so y'all we were in a thousand square foot house with a thousand square foot house with seven people. So we just need to leave it right there. Okay, so nice and cozy. We are grateful, but it was a little cozy. So like in their rooms, you couldn't even play in their rooms. You could just walk in because there's just beds. So we and we're just kind of in the journey and you know, you hear this from a lot of counselors that when kids have a lot of change to be very careful with that. And so especially my husband now his kids

had walked through a lot of change. And so they lived with different family and really lived several different places in the last couple years. And so our goal was healthy family. Like we didn't care about the space. We didn't care about what was going on or all these details. We just want healthy kids. And that was our goal. And so we were like, who cares about the house? Let's work on the kids. And so we did that. And then we felt like, okay, Lord, you're kind of stirring our hearts that it's, they're okay. And they would be stable enough if we moved right now. So that was definitely a journey and definitely emotional, right? Because I'm like, that's the longest I've ever lived anywhere. So as

they are for eight years, that's like, where all my husband's brought me home like after we got married and brought all my babies home. And so so many emotions, but also knowing, you know what, we're building a new season and that's okay to build. And we want to build this foundation. And so we bought this house and it has more space. Hallelujah. And it needed some work. And so this summer, like a crazy person, I was doing a renovation project with all five kids. And I was like the general contractor. So every paint, can every like a cop, two by fours, I was there with five kids at home improvement stores. And I'm like, Hey, you're such a good one. But that's probably nice to keep you like, you're

mind off of other things and just kind of like something to look forward to, you know? So what all did you guys renovate? So you guys, yeah, like by a fixer upper, like it was not a man, you know, you want to make anything your own. And people thought lived there before like the sweetest people ever. And they had two kids and we have five kids. So you know, we just had to make it more like yours like ours. Yeah. So we took down some walls and switched around kitchen things and changed out flooring things and, you know, went through, I think 50 gallons of paint, which is so crazy. I just bought 30 for my new house. Oh, I can't, I don't even want to see another can of paint for as long as

I live. The paint options. Good. It's like, why do we have six shades of gray? Like, we only need one. I know, girl, I'm with you on that. So it was crazy, but I would not ever recommend that. It was definitely more stressful about taking me out. We've just talked about renovations on our last podcast. Like I'm not doing it myself because I'm one, I'm probably not going to do a good job. And two, it's just, we were talking about how like you see like all this Pinterest stuff or like people posting these

photos of DIY, DIY projects that look like really super nice on Instagram, on Instagram. Then you like see them up close. And you're like, yikes. That's like really crooked. That's really do it yourself right there. That's really DIY. Did you have any experiences like that? Y'all, we had crazy stuff going on. Like for instance, the garage floor epoxy, the person didn't put the hardener in. It was like, no. So then like literally like gum lost my shoe in it type gum, a lizard crawled in there and died because it's cutting it out. I'm not even joking. So it became this whole like fiasco and I'm like, Oh my goodness,

how are we doing this? We call the company and they're like, we have to scrape it all off by hand. I'm like, you don't understand my life. I have five kids. When am I going to scrape off every bit of paint off the floor? Like I can't do this. And I'm like, we got to figure out a different way, babe. So we were like trying all this stuff. We figured it out. It's fine. We're all still alive. But you know, you have all kinds of things like that. Except the lizard. I know. They're like, they call them black eye because he had this black dot that looked like an eye. I'm like, oh, you don't have to name this. It's even sadder, buddy. It was special to them. It was special. Oh my gosh. So yeah,

so it was fun. And it's just fun. It feels like really freeing to be there. And it's just no memories. It's all fresh. It's all us. And it's just like feels the space has been so amazing. And so it's we're just so grateful. It's been fun. Have you ever wanted to try all of those luxurious brand name fragrances without having to max out your credit cards? With Scentbird, I found a way to have great taste and mix up my fragrance routine without breaking the bank. Scentbird is a subscription perfume service that lets you try new smells without the commitment. I love it because each of the scents are super sleek and you can travel with them. And then

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a leak somewhere else. The disposal doesn't work. We have no backpash. Sometimes I wonder why I even bought a house. Like should I have just rented because then I'm not responsible for anything and it gets fixed pretty quickly. You know what I think about all the time? I'm like, if I lived in an apartment and I switched it every two years, I would never have to do anything. Well, first of all, why would you want to switch every two years? Because moving has been hell for me. Oh, moving is so intense.

I'm in the process right now. Like everything's new, you know. Closed on my new house last week and I moved half. I packed up my kitchen. My kitchen's at the new house now, but also the kitchen's getting remodeled in the next month, but I'm going to finish moving. But I got to finish moving tomorrow and Saturday, but it's like, I just can't. I don't want to do this. I changed my mind halfway through. I don't want to do this. I already bought the house. What am I supposed to do?

Yeah. Where do you even start? I mean, when you pick things, you're like, okay, we have to keep this for a couple years. You know what I mean? Whatever you pick. I want to love it. So that's kind of where I'm at right now. The backspot is not up. So my husband, I'm like, I don't care if we have a plane like that for a couple months unless I love something because I'm going to be looking at it every day. I'm just not going to pick something I don't really love.

Right. But we didn't have a working kitchen for two weeks. That was a little struggle, but we ate on the floor and he just made memories, you know, just big memories. In the middle, I like, my son hugged me the other day and he was like, oh, mom, you smell like the new house. I was like, was that a good, he's like, it smells like sawdust. I was like, oh, wow. How do you know you're renovating? That's so funny. That's so funny.

That is so funny. So are all your kids in school or preschool or no? We do all kinds of different things with all the bands going everywhere. The band's going everywhere. 7, 6, 5, 4. Yeah. So 4 is the youngest. Yeah. So we're all different places.

Okay. So we do every schooling option, but they're with me a good, they're with me a lot of the time. Oh, school. Yeah. We do like hybrid. Just a combination of everything. Got it. Oh, okay.

I didn't know that was an option. Yeah. I mean, so you may have one kid in public school, one kid in private school, one kid at home, you know, then there's hybrid options. I feel like we're like the family that mixes it all together. Which is awesome because when they get the experience of, I don't think that I'm a good candidate to be a homeschool teacher, but I'm definitely not against homeschooling. Yeah.

I love that idea. I don't think every kid is different. So you just never know. Every year we're just going to lay before God and be like, Hey, what's best for this kid? Which one? Yeah. And then what's best for the overall like healthiness of our family? And my husband's

always like, I'm like, I can do this and I can do that. And he's like, the problem is you would give your left arm to do that, but we need your left arm to be a healthy family. So we're going to have to Keep the arm. Rain that in. Yeah. Yeah. Keep the arm and keep healthy.

I'm like, okay, that really helps me. That's, I don't know. Maybe I just didn't know because I wasn't a mom or maybe it's like new. I feel like all the options for schooling, when I was growing up in Pennsylvania, we, you had to go to the school that you were distributed to. So whatever house you're, or if you went to private school, or you could be homeschooled and there was very, very, very few homeschooled people. But now I live in Delaware and I've been there for about five years.

You can go to any school. So like if you live like my new house is about 30 minutes north of where I live, like my current house is. But like any school that I want my kids to go to, I just have to enroll them. Isn't that crazy? That's amazing. I'm like, we don't know. We pay.

It's overwhelming. Exactly. Right. And that wasn't Pennsylvania, but here it's like, if your kid is needing to be in AP academic classes, you send them to this school because that's what the, that's what's good at that school. That's so nice. There's another school that's like a little bit south of where I'm at now. That's like

really good for sports and like recruiting for college, like for sports. You want to send your kid to that school. There's like different options. And I feel like I had this friend a couple of years ago, she has eight children and all of her kids, literally all of her kids went somewhere different because she's like, I'm catering to what is good for them. I think that's what you just said. Yeah. I think it's awesome.

And it's going to change. Like we are not like these people like, this is what we do for a life. You know, we're like, no, we want to be the people that I'm like, we want to be teachable and every year like be open to what is healthy for our kids, what's healthy for our family. And you have to go to the overall, because you can get to the point where you're running all over the place that you never have any family time. They're never stopping. Yeah. And that's a problem. And so like we don't do any extracurricular sports. We don't do anything right now because it's all family time.

It's all family time. But maybe it'll change. But it'll change. It could change next year. But this year we felt like, okay, we're pulling in so we can really pour into our kids because again, like there are five kids that have walked through a lot of trauma. And so emotionally they're different than like maybe your kids are, you know? No, I agree. And so we're like, that's what we're doing this year, but it can change next year. You

know? And so we just want to be flexible. Well, so I saw on your Instagram that you just went to like one of my favorite places ever. So trendy Rosemary. Yes. What is that? It's a beach. And I'm going to sound like an ignorant person, just like I did on the last podcast. We do all the time.

Yeah, it's near, it's 30a. So it's Rosemary. And so it's near Pamos City. It's probably like, I mean, that's where we flew into. So it's like 45 minutes drive from there. Yeah. Not the country. But Alice Beach. Panama. City. Florida. Yeah.

So Alice and like Rosemary and Watercolor are like their own, like I had never been there. So I don't even know. I don't even know what y'all are talking about. Is it Florida? Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful. It's crazy. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's the best life ever. Yeah. It was beautiful. Yeah. So you, I don't really know like what the backstory is of what you were doing there, but I saw your pictures with like all the cute ladies and y'all looked super happy. So was it like

a widow's thing? Yeah. So it's a young widow's retreat, which y'all are going to laugh. Like who wants to go to a young widow's retreat? No, but that's actually amazing. That's your life. That's your life. Yeah, I mean, because you have all of these amazing ladies that are in their thirties

that have young kids and they're like, I don't feel like a widow and I don't, you know, they don't acknowledge that they're like what is with eight year olds, you know, who are all talking about pacemakers when they're like, okay, I'm just trying to raise my kids. Like you already raised your kids. Like I would give anything to have my husband for 60 years, like you had him. Like your grief is the same, but it's so different. Right. And so these ladies, so I worked with three other ladies who had lost their husbands at

a young age. And so there's four of us that got to host it. And so they flew in all from around the nation from Canada, California, I mean, all over to come and just be encouraged and poured into hope that they're going to make it. Because I think when you're in hard season, sometimes you're like, I'm not going to make it. Or you hear about someone, but actually be face to face with people that have made it. They're like, you know what, my kids are going to be okay. Yeah. And sometimes you just need to say that face to face. Your kids are going to be okay. You're

doing a great job. You're doing the best you can, you know, Have you in doing all of this, have you met someone who has also met someone that's a widower or no? Is that? Yes. You have. Yes. Which is crazy. So this is common, maybe. I don't think it's the most common probably, but it happens more often than you probably would thought.

And I'm always like, Hey, do you have a second? I got some questions for you. How do you do this? Yeah, that's crazy. So, um, and just the stories are insane. Like, I mean, the stories I hear from widows and that message me on Instagram, I'm just like, I can't, I mean, crazy things where someone's walking in a branch fell on them or their husband got a bee sting at 30 and didn't know that they were allergic to bees and they die like just crazy things or just, I mean, the hardship these ladies walk through and you would see them and be like, this is the cutest

girl ever. Like that has her life put together that she's no idea what's really going on. And so that's the crazy thing that I think I've walked through now is like, I don't look at people the same way, right? Like I look at everyone and I'm like, they've got stories. They are people are people. I don't care what you do, what you're made of or what you act out. Like people are people and everyone's gone through something. And so it's crazy when you hear these stories about these ladies and I'm like, you look just like us. And you know, just like us and

they're walking through so much more pain, you know, like this is insane. So how did you like get involved in doing that? Like, is that, is that what you're doing? Like, is that like your, are you taking your passion for helping people? And that's like your path right now? Like you're doing these retreats or is this like the first time you've ever done it? Are you planning on doing it again? Like, is it? Yeah. So this is the second one we've done and we're doing another one in Nashville coming up soon. But what I do is more of, I mean, I speak a lot at different places and speak or do different podcasts or different, just a lot of unseen work, which is what I love

is messaging or talking to people on the phone, like widows that nobody would ever know I'm doing. And to me, that's like a beauty. Yes, because that's the real people. And sometimes you just didn't, you know, that like one time this lady, and I don't ever give out my number like I don't do that. You probably are like that too. But this girl messaged me late at night and her husband had just passed away. And I felt like the Lord said, you're supposed to give her your number, which I'm like, I never do that. Like, why are you telling me this? And I talked to this lady and her husband, dad hours before, she said, I just need to know, are we going to make it? And that's it. She just wanted to hear my voice. You're

going to make it. And then she just ended up being the most precious dear friend and we like, she's just amazing. But I do think a lot of the work that we do and a lot of your purpose in the midst of your pain and perspective come by helping other people and knowing that there's hope, even the darkest places of life, because there's so many moments in all of our lives when we walk through pain, where you cry in the middle of the night and you think, nobody knows I'm going through this, you know, and it's really dark. And nobody talks about that. Nobody wants to enter there. But knowing that even in the dark darkest places that there's still hope, and there's still a reason to breathe is what moves us beyond

our pain to our purpose and saying the perspective is our life is not over. God has not finished with us yet. He's still writing your story. And there's so much joy ahead and believing that even when it's hard to feel it in the moment. Yeah, yeah, it's a tough place to be. And I feel like yes, I it's incredible that you have been able to share your journey. And I think when we took a break for a second, you were saying that once you share your story over 20 times, what was it? Yeah, it takes the trauma out of it, right? Because we're sitting here balling. Yeah, you have been so I'm like, I have to like turn away and like stop looking at her. So yeah, same. Yeah, I'm going to avoid her. I never I've never

heard that saying, but I think it makes sense. Because I mean, even like my trauma that I've gone through, which obviously we're not going to compare. But I feel like when people when I talk about it now, like if someone asks about it, now that makes sense because I don't feel as though I was I'm not as emotional about it to other people that I was when I when it first happened. And you've walked through a journey of healing probably, right? You know what I mean? I think it's like people are like, time heals. And I'm like, no, actually time doesn't heal because you can talk to people that are 10 years out and they're in the same spot. Right. And that's why I'm like, no, time doesn't heal God heals because

you can be at a point where two years out, you're in a much healthier spot where most people aren't, you know, so you can't put timetables on people and they're healing. But yeah, I think the exact same talking about it and telling your side. I remember when I wrote my first book, it was once I was able to finally like, I had talked about it and talked about, you know, things that I've been through. But like once I wrote it down, I felt like it was there was like a sense of clarity. Yes, like liberating almost. Okay, now we can close literally close the chapter and just like move on. Have you have you written any books or anything yet or not yet? No, no, no. Yeah. And I think processing things

is when you read it out, it helps you process it. And I see that with friends too. I y'all, I should journal more, but we were just talking about that. We tried. I tried. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but the reality of it is like, I just don't, I just haven't. Yeah. I mean, there are times where things are like really pressing and I just kind of feel like it's a burden. I have to get out on paper. And that's when I do, but I'm not as consistent as I need to be. Right. Same. Yeah. Real life. Same. Same. I had a question, but I forget what it was. Oh, I know what it was. So I feel like I want to be like Brittany. I want to be like so good like her. So when I posted the thing about the crystals yesterday, when

we went to the crystal shop, I was like, Oh, Brittany's gonna think I'm a witch. I didn't miss the whole thing. So don't you worry about it. I'm busy with kids. So I miss all kinds of things. Like I was like driving here today and I'm like, I don't know anything about y'all except for like, I like saw the, you know, email and things. And then I've, I've messaged a little bit before I'm like, Hey, you know, I'm going to get to know these girls here or something like that. We're also boy moms and which is so fun. Yeah. And I always joke because we really hardly ever date or date. We hardly ever interview anyone that has a daughter. Yeah, it's weird. Like we gravitate towards the boys. Yeah. So we don't

plan it that way. But so what do you think about crystals, Brittany? Um, are you like, are you choosing about them at all? Me neither. But I'm holding one all day. Yeah, I've got I love the crystal thing. She's really into crystals. I don't know. But I do like stuff. I don't know. But I do know that I always laugh about the whole boy mom thing because with the book, oh no, y'all, because one of my friends has girls and she was like, Yeah, I mean, do you ever get to like three o'clock and you're like, man, we forgot to eat today. I'm like, Oh, no, with boys. Oh, no, don't let you forget. I need a snack. I need a snack. Mom, I need to know. Jackson's a snack king. When we went to Hawaii and we, we were in

Hawaii for three weeks last month. And when we first got there, it was like the time change, the kids. I mean, it was a disaster. So I was like, okay, like we're going to snap time. We're going to take a nap. And when we wake up, we'll get some food. We'll start our day. We'll do these things. My middle son woke up earlier and was like, mom, can I have a snack? And I'm like, mind you, I'm asleep. We're all still sleeping except for him. Listen, when we all when all of us are awake, we're going to get a snack and we will start our day. Okay, well, now I'm finally opening my eyes. We're getting the day started. Mom, you said when you woke up, we can have a snack. I'm like, your brothers aren't up yet. Like,

it's just me. My eyes just open. Mom, did you forget that you said that we could have a snack? And I'm like, literally, I'm going to rip my hair out because I said when everyone gets up, we will go get a snack. Relax. We, we, we ate before we laid down. They act like they're starving, right? I've like sat down my kids before and been like, you have never gone one day without one meal or one snack. Never your whole life. So do you think I'm going to forget now? I have not forgotten. You are going to live through this experience. Yeah, I tell them that all the time. You will live through this experience. I know it feels like or I'm like, it's been love the world as we know it. Like you're acting like it's into the world. It's

really going to be fine. Relax. Yeah. I was busy doing something the other day. And I was literally like in the midst, midst, midst, midst, midst of cleaning up like dust all over my house. And I, my hands are like all dusty and stuff. And I'm Jackson comes upstairs from the basement and he's like, mom, I really am starving and I need a snack. And I'm like, but you're not getting one right now because I'm doing all of this. I'll fix it as soon as I get finished. He was so dramatic. He was like, I guess you just want me to go hungry then. I guess I'll just go downstairs and be really hungry and think about it for a long time. Oh my goodness. Exactly. You're like, how did he learn these things? We had to fix something

because I was like with five kids, y'all, it's just not ending. So we have a huge, like if you come to my house, but you're welcome anytime, y'all, but this huge container that has tons of fruit in it and it has like avocados. So anytime they want, they can have anything in that bowl. But they ask anything other than that. They're going to have to wait. Exactly. But I don't care if you want to eat, like they love avocados or apples. I don't care if you eat five apples in a day, don't worry. That's totally fine because it's really, they just want the other snacky stuff. But that's helped me a lot where I'll have like a drawer in a fridge. Just such a good idea. You can have anytime you want and I'll have like little

cash to use in there or guacamole packets or hummus or whatever. And I'm like, anytime you want a snack, you can get that. But other snacks, you have to ask for. So that's helped a little bit. Okay. So what's been your biggest challenge as a mom? Do you think? Um, man, it just shows my fall so much. Don't you feel like, I'm like, yeah, I thought, I thought I was a good mom until I was a mom, you know, like, or with five kids, it's brought out so many different like levels of man of feeling like you're feeling feeling like you're not enough. And the reality is guess what? I am feeling and guess what? I'm not enough because nobody can be enough for all five of those kids. And I have to just say, God

fill in the gaps because I know I'm not going to do everything perfectly. And I do not do anything perfectly. But having to come to the realization of I'm not and that's okay. And then also being teachable yesterday. Yes. I mean, just being teachable and having older moms that they're like, you know what? I really wish I would have engaged more with my kids. My kids are teenagers and I don't have their heart because I did not engage with them when they were younger or laugh with them. And they only knew mom is do this, do that, blah, blah, blah. And so learning from them has helped me a lot. But man, so many struggles in motherhood or even like feeling anger when you get like worked up about things like I have never been

an angry person ever. And now with five kids makes you like a lion. Yeah. About certain things, of course. And I think that that's people don't want to talk about that either. It's like, we should be ashamed of feeling that way. But I mean, that just really comes with motherhood sometimes. And teaching your kids that that mommy was wrong. Like I have conversations with my kids all the time. And I'm like, if there's one thing that I want you to learn about, I want you to learn about Jesus, they're also want you to learn about forgiveness and that we will mess up how to handle situations when mommy messes up. And so I tell them all the time, like, I am so sorry, mommy did not handle

that. Well, will you forgive me? I should have never done that. Or I've never should have said that word. And sometimes they didn't even notice it. It was in my heart that I knew I was like aggravated so much. Yeah. And they didn't know because I kept my cool but I still knew my heart. Like I struggled to get bad towards them. And so it opens up great conversations with them because even now they'll come to me and be like, Mommy, I'm so sorry that I acted this way towards you. Will you forgive me? And so, you know, creating a community in my home and admitting that we're wrong. Like, man, if adults can know and learn that, you know, that you can admit that you're wrong or being humble enough

to say that. Or even that in my house, we don't talk bad about people. We don't. So if you are going to come and start talking about bad people, I look at them and say, are you tearing someone down? Are you building them up? Because there's certain things that I want them to learn as kids so that I am not raising the next generation of people that talk bad about people all the time. You know, like, yeah, I want encouragers, you know, so, but that is a lot of mommy admitting that I'm wrong and a lot of talking through it. So yeah, I got nothing together. I can think of one specific thing when you were saying that that I have felt guilty before where it's like your kids are just getting

on your nerves. I only have one, but I'm sure you can relate and you can relate. Yeah, totally can relate. They get on your nerves and you're like, Monday can't come soon enough. When you go back to school, doors open, you know, and then you then school opens and I'm like, Oh, I should have never said that. I feel so bad. Like I'm in the car. I'm just thinking about the snack thing. And I'm like, you're still in the snack thing. Yes, because Lincoln will literally climb up on the counter and get to the high cabinet where the snack foods are. But if he has access to apples, maybe he won't get the little tiny ones that they think are really cute, you know, where my kids think apricots are brother

peaches because they're little baby brother peaches. And they think anything cute, you know, they gravitate towards. So Jackson learned how to work scissors and he hid a pair of scissors in our basement for a long time so that he could go in our pantry and get snacks, not tell us and take them downstairs and he cuts them open himself. And then we went downstairs and over time, like you might not notice one wrapper, but like over time, like several wrappers like start showing up, right? And you're like smart, good, right? They're like evenly cut, you know, so it's like clearly like you have taken scissors and cut across them. And we'll ask him, he's like, I don't

know about that. I don't know where that happened. And I'm like, okay, so are we lying? Like what what's going on here? I mean, I have to as it's wrong, but also that's very clever. I know they are so smart, y'all. I mean, the stuff these kids come up with, I'm like, where was I ever that smart? No, I don't think so. I mean, I remember like hiding stuff under my bed. And it's like, obviously someone's going to find it at some point. Yeah. And like my hair when I cut my bangs off my trash can, like, I shoved a marble at my nose once. Oh, girl, that's awful. And it's just like, why was I, that's what I was doing instead of plotting on snacks. You know what I mean? So I obviously wasn't that intelligent. Yeah.

My kids, you know, one kid swallowed a bad or any other one got a vitamin stuck up their nose. Oh, no, you're like, that's one of the biggest fears. Like the things like will knew somebody that their kid from work, it was like a coworker, their kid swallowed like a penny or a dime or something like that. Can't that just pass or no? No, like it made him go to the hospital. Like they had to be in the hospital and it obstructed like something. So like, so then when you say like a kid swallowed a battery or something like that. Oh, no. I know the things that you just or the conversations you have with your kids that you're like, did that just came out of my mouth? I can't believe I said, we never blah, blah, blah, put vitamins

in our nose. Yeah, we never put vitamins in our nose. We never swallow batteries. Like what? I actually, why are we talking about this? Like you're so intelligent, but also like you have so much learning to do because the fact that you've thought a battery would fit in your nose. When we ran a 5k, we don't put cars in our pockets and stop in the middle of the 5k and play with the cars, which really just happened to us. Like when we run races, this will be one races. When we play with cars, we play with cars. Kids are nuts. Like they keep it laughing. I always say get a laugh or you cry. Like last night, my son was like, why are you laughing? This is not funny. This is sad. I was like, buddy, you have to laugh

or you cry sometimes. Yes. Good point. No, I laugh until I cry. Right. Or I realize that like I'm just laughing out of the pure fact that I'm so frustrated that it's like I'm laughing like silly. And then I start crying and I'm like, Oh, how are we really feeling? Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Yeah, happens pretty often. Well, can you tell our listeners where they can find you? Do you have like YouTube or like anything? Yeah, so Instagram is Brittany Price Bricker. And then, you know, I've got YouTube stuff or my website or whatever, but you can find all that through Instagram. Oh, I will say one thing about your Instagram before we go. Um, I had commented on one of Brittany's pictures and I was like, Oh, you're so cute. And her husband

like was so cute. He went back on there and he was like, I think so too. Oh, like he's my biggest fan. He is so awesome. He is like the best. Like I don't even know how you can be that joyful and that happy all the time. And like he is so fun. Like, well, that's how we feel about you. It's the chicken yards. Like how, yeah. Yeah, she's so bubbly. Last weekend, I was at that retreat and I get these videos of my husband and he decided to like stream lights in the backyard, put the TV in the middle of this backyard with the owls and give them their favorite snacks. I'm like, you are so fun. Yeah, that's awesome. Like dads are so fun. You know, they're awesome. They definitely get that hat that they get to wear and I know. I'm like, Hey, go you. I've been like, I'm our funest

days. Mom's never as fun as dad. I'm just not that creative. No, you know, I'm a little bit more of what I'm like, here's your favorite snack. Like this is so fun. He's like moving out in the backyard. And I'm like, nobody does that. Like, I don't really have. We're going camping this weekend. Pray for us. Oh, I just think it's camping for Memorial Day weekend and like it was our first time. And tents are like in a camper in our backyard. Oh, perfect. Maybe on the chamblain. We did that last year on the chamblain. One kid went to bed. The other person threw up and I was like, y'all. You're like, this is an adventure. Yeah, this is an adventure. But they said it was like the best thing ever. So I'm glad they remember that when I remembered at three in

the morning kids throwing up. So, you know, yeah, making memories. Their memories are always a lot different than our memories of the same exact event. Yeah, like Jackson's memories of stuff. I would be like, it was so great. And I was like, wait, you had diarrhea and drew up at the same time. So I remember the good stuff. And I'm so glad, you know, so glad. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I appreciate it and sharing your story. All right, guys, I think that's all we have time for today. If you have not subscribed to us, you can do so by searching the purple podcast app on your iPhone, search coffee combos, click subscribe, click the fifth star and leave a certain review. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.

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