Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - A Loving Father vs a Great Father

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

Kristen pops in for today's episode as Kail wrangles all seven of her children (Couldn't be Lindsie). Lindsie shares her Father's Day gift for Will: a toilet! Get an inside look at Will's "bachelor pad" decor and his past DIY mishaps. Then, the chilling case of Travis Decker, a father accused of killing his three young daughters. Kristen and Lindsie discuss the disturbing details and the conflicting reports surrounding the investigation. Plus, some listener questions spark a deep dive into co-parenting challenges, financial responsibilities post-divorce, and the difference between a "loving" and a "great" father. To top it off, today's Foul Play about jalapeños and an unexpected burning sensation!Thank you to our sponsors!IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for helpProgressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn moreQuince: Go to Quince.com/coffee to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next orderRoBody: Find out if you’re covered for free at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Rx only.Thrive Causemetics: New customers get the Liquid Lash Extensions Mascara and a mini-sized Brilliant Eye Brightener at a special set price with free shipping. Save more with 20% off your first order at https://thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Poppy Combos podcast. I feel like we have just done a team crossover this week. It's me. Obviously not who everyone is expecting. I'm here filling in for Kail because she's got all the kids this week and it's a little bit chaotic. Can't relate to seven. So no, nobody can relate seven. I'm like only only the strong can relate to having seven

children. We're gonna go strong, crazy, unhinged, whatever, whatever we're gonna define it as. I have a tree down in my yard that I forgot to tell you about. Yeah, let's see. Okay. Um, how did that tree come down? Well, you know, I've told you that we have had rain probably for three weeks. And there was a storm that came through the other night. And I think we were out of power 90 plus minutes,

which probably for a lot of the country, 90 plus minutes out of power on a storm is not a lot. But for us, we hardly ever lose power. I did not have bad storm weather where I lived before in the same area, which is kind of weird. I feel like where I moved to, it's a pocket that you just get nailed. And so it's not actually a tree. It's kind of like a very large branch. Okay. So this is like when you said you hit a moose. Yeah, but I mean, it's a very large branch,

like larger, like it's not draggable. Oh, okay, okay, so it's big. Yeah, and now I'm starting to think, do I just need to get all the trees cut down like by my house? Because if a tree crushed my house, what would I do? You have so many trees. I know.

I don't know. I had a lot of trees growing up and we kind of always were, we made sure that the dead stuff was always taken off, made sure that they were trimmed and all those things. And then we kind of just prayed that it never crashed into our house. My dad's parents used to have a ton of pine trees and their front yard. I'm pretty sure the house got hit like maybe a couple of times. But it's just like an uncomfortable situation being a single mom knowing you're here by yourself with your kid, a bad storm comes through and if a tree hits the house, number one, you could be dead. Number two, just move.

I know that when we used to have storms at my house, like if they were really, really bad, my parents' bedroom did not have any trees that could potentially hit their room. Oh, mine's the room that would get hit. Oh, okay. So like we would, if it was really bad, we would sleep on their floor.

Like me, my brother, we would go in there, we would sleep on the floor of their room, because both of our rooms could easily get hit by trees if they collapsed onto the house. But my parents room was like the safe room. Maybe like, I don't know, is Jackson's room safe or no, because you're just surrounded by trees. Well, to not give a layout of my house or where he sleeps, we would sleep in his room. Oh, fair. Yeah. Um, so

yesterday, I went to a late Pilates class. And then Jackson called me and he was like, Hey, can you bring me two cheese burgers and a medium fry and a sprite? I'm like, yeah, little did I know this was going to turn into a three hour affair of me being at Will's house. So, Oh my God. I think it's so funny to me that he calls you when he's with Will and he just

knows that one you'll bring him whatever he asks for. And two, it's not ever like a snack. It's a whole meal. Oh. It's a whole meal. Oh, it's a whole meal. And then I get bamboozled to just hanging out with him. I'm like, why don't we just go to my house then? Right. You're like, okay, so what are we doing? And Will's just like, okay, whatever. No, he's just like cutting the grass. Like, Will's basically using you as a babysitter. Yeah, essentially. Yes. Wait, can we talk about the Father's Day gift that I got him? I are you going to say what it is? Yeah. Okay. Tell everybody what it is. It's a toilet from Sam's Club. The way when you said that to

me, I was thinking I was like, Oh, like, what are you gonna get for like from Jackson for will and you had just got done telling kale on last week's episode about like you got him I think it was Air Force is the one year or something. Yeah. To hear you go, I'm just getting him a toilet. I said, What? You said yeah, he wants a toilet. So that's what he's getting. And I'm out here thinking you decided to get him a toilet because you were sick of his shit

and it was like a gag gift. Oh no, this is like legitimate. I just think it's funny. He's redoing his basement. When we divorced and he moved into his house, it basically was like, I don't want to say a complete fixer-upper, but he basically has fixed everything up. It looks nothing like when he purchased it.

And so I guess he decided over the summer would be a great time for him to do construction on the basement, which is the area that Jackson hangs out guess he's putting two bathrooms in his basement. And I had been over there last week for something. I can't remember what it was. But I was like, Hey, you need to send like a wish list for Father's Day. And he was like, I just want a dual flush toilet. What the fuck is a dual flush toilet? You know, it's like the ones that have the buttons on the top and it's got I don't really even know how you're supposed to use them. I always imagined that the one flush thing is when you pee and the two flush thing is when you shit.

Oh, yeah, they actually have those at the hospital that I go to. So that that's how I read that as well. But I don't know if that's actually how it works. Okay. So I was like, okay, cool. Where did your other toilets come from? And he was like, oh, when I read it, the bathrooms upstairs, those came from Sam's club and I was like, oh, okay, I'll just buy you a fucking toilet from Sam's club.

Done. Does Jackson know that he's getting a toilet? Oh yeah. And Sam's Club. Done. Just Jackson know that he's getting a toilet. Oh, yeah. And he's pissed. He was like, I wanted to go to Dix and buy him golf stuff. And finally, well, yesterday, he was like, I love the gift that y'all got me because it's something that's usable. And it's something that I needed. And I don't need any more golf shit. You know what he's really going to think about you guys anytime

he uses that bathroom. more golf shit. You know what he's really gonna think about you guys anytime he uses that bathroom. You know? Yeah. Wait, did I ever send you a picture in his powder room? of the photo where it's like talking about the bathroom and taking shit? No. Yeah. I'm like, what if Jackson ever had a tutor or like a babysitter or you know, like a fellow parent comes over there and they just go into Will's powder room.

And it's this poster looking thing that he probably got from Hobby Lobby. And it's talking about the throne and how you get so much work done. You contemplate life sitting there, you make your good and bad decisions while you shit. That is truly something that only would be found at a bachelor pad. Oh, it's definitely a bachelor pad. If you ever saw it. Wait, I'll do a video and send it to you. No, I have to see this because I'm so curious. like, what is Will's aesthetic? Like, what is his, like, decor style? Like, is he doing all of this work himself? Like, is he, did he hire someone to

put the bathrooms in or is he putting them in? Oh, he hires some stuff out, but then he does some stuff. Remember that time that I told you that he got into, like, making rustic looking picture frames? into making rustic looking picture frames? No, I don't remember that at all. This was when he first decided that he was gonna learn how to be handy dandy. Okay. And I was really into the beach vibe aesthetics at that time.

Like coastal with all the neutrals and the wood? Yes. Or like colorful beach? No, like coastal. Okay. That was like back in my pottery barn era. Okay. Oh, I can see that.

Yep. So I wanted all of these picture frames from pottery barn, but it's like, why am I paying hundreds of dollars for these picture frames that look like they washed up on the beach? So, you know, like those know like those palette like palette wood? Yes ma'am. Okay so don't know where he found them but he went and got these palettes and he started making me picture frames. I hang one in the powder room bathroom somebody's in there shitting one day and

it just the staples that he put in it to put it together, it just completely fell apart off the wall. Oh my God. Like you're never allowed to make a project again and then we got divorced, so. So you didn't get any more projects but his house got them all.

Right. But in completely different news, I have been following this case on this dad named Travis Decker. Have you been following it? Yes, I have. I'm eerily obsessed with it, and I truly don't know if they're going to find him. I'm afraid that he's either going to get out of the United States before they find him or he's going to be get out of the United States before they find him or he's going

to be found unalived. Like he unalived himself? Either that or the fact that he's been picked up on ring cams and people know because law enforcement, I don't know if it was like local law enforcement or the FBI that put out the notice that people needed to keep their doors and windows locked because he was in the area and he was armed? I think that it was local. Okay, so for people who are not following it, let's tell everyone what's going on.

So the mom of these three girls' name is Whitney Decker. She had or has custody of the three girls. One of the girls is five years old, one's eight and one's nine years old. She gave them to the dad for like a regularly scheduled custody visit on May 30th. And apparently they've been divorced for several years. As of this morning, I saw a report

and don't know how much validity there is to this. Maybe she said it, that he was trying to reconcile with her the week prior to this happening. I have not seen that, but that is interesting. Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you can save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket.

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covers GLP-1s for free. Go to roe.co.co.ca for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1s for free. Go to ro.co. slash safety for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. So allegedly they maintained decent communication as co-parents and friends and that was according to her attorney. Tells him and the girls, I'll see y'all at eight. And then she said that she noticed like everything had been really quiet since he had had them. But the exchange did take place

with like no noticeable problems. She said she never thought too much about it. And then once it got eight o'clock, their custody plan had specifically specified that there were going to be no overnight visits. So then she reported it to the police that the girls were missing. When she tried to call him, his phone was going straight to voicemail. So she went to the police station, told them he failed to return the kids. And she said typically if he ever is running late, she'll notify him of that. Right. Also stated herself that he had a good relationship with the daughters, very much enjoyed spending the time with them. And he did have or had experienced mental health issues,

but really never displayed any sort of red flags. So the police started checking all the hotels, motels that was around as well as all of like the camping rosters at the state park. And his name was not listed anywhere. And then they ended up being found with... The reports were very different from different websites, so I don't know what's true and what's not. Some say they were found with zip ties on their wrists. Some were saying that there was evidence that their wrist had been zip tied and all had bags over their heads.

I saw both variations. I'm not 100% sure which one is true. I do know that they came out the corner came out and said that they were suffocated. And then they found, and I don't know if you found this, but I know they found a bloody handprint. Yeah, so basically there was a search and rescue type situation. Volunteers had gone out to look for the girls and then the dad's truck was found unoccupied at a camp campground.

There was two bloody handprints that was on the tailgate, and that was according to the affidavit. Yeah, and all of I believe they said all of his belongings were inside of his truck and he was missing. And the girls were only 75 yards away from where the truck was located. Yeah. So I know that they tested the bloody handprints and I've seen conflicting stories that some outlets were reporting that it was not human blood. Wait, what? Yeah. So I'm looking at an article from NPR. They also found the dog. He had his dog. The

dog appeared unharmed and was taken to, I think that it was some variation of a shelter. According to the affidavit, Decker's truck had blankets, car seats, food, a wallet and other items inside and then what appeared to be two handprints of blood on the tailgate. The authorities found an abandoned camp with signs of recent activity nearby. Law enforcement discovered the three children's bodies down a small embankment some 100 yards past the truck with zip ties and plastic bags strewn around the whole area. Each of the girls had a plastic bag over their head and their wrists were zip-tied or showed signs of being zip-tied, according to the affidavit.

The samples, so this is a week later, so this came out on Monday, more than a week after the discovery, that blood samples taken from the scene came back positive for belonging to a male while another was not human blood. It said it had recovered some of Decker's personal belongings, including his dog, which it turned over to the Humane Society for Safe Care. I do know that he was former military and it was said that he had extensive tactical training and that was according to the US Marshal. They have been offering a reward of up to $20,000 for any information leading to his arrest.

Do we think he's like sleeping in the woods? Absolutely. They said that he has the capability of lasting days, if not weeks, in the woods with the skills that he has, survival skills, without having a problem. And that's terrifying. I do believe that it was reported that he had been living in his truck because he was homeless. I didn't see that, but that's interesting because I wonder if the mom knew that.

Well, she's the one who told police that, that he was experiencing homelessness. He was living in his car at times, motels or camping locally. I mean this wholeheartedly without judgment. I guess why would we do a visitation where we weren't present if that was the living conditions? I think mental health is a very real thing. You and I have discussed mental health in men specifically before. She had made a statement that the girls were such a positive impact in his life. So while I don't agree necessarily with him having unsupervised visits

with all of this knowledge, I think she was trying to do the best of both worlds, right? Like I'm gonna give you unsupervised visits, but they have to be back by eight and there are no overnight visits. If he's experiencing homelessness, that wouldn't necessarily impact them from the sense of she doesn't have to worry about where they're sleeping because of his situation. Okay, I see what you're saying.

Because that wouldn't really apply unless they were sleeping there. I guess for me, I'm looking at it like, where would he take them kind of thing? Well, you have to consider if this is just a couple hours visits, right? Like it could be taking them to do an activity and dinner or something like that. And then bringing them back home. I can just tell you as a mother, if my ex husband was experiencing something traumatic in his life, the last thing I would do would be rob him of our child. And I also see that. That makes sense to me. I guess I was immediately thinking of it like a assuming like, oh, he's taking them home. I'm sure they're eating. But like, I guess

not when it's only a couple of hours, you would probably be eating out. You'd probably be going to do something fun, something like that. And it was also reported by her that he was very active with any of their extracurricular activities like their dance, soccer games, and that he was a very involved dad outside of the personal things that he had going on. Do we think that there is a possibility that if what you were saying about the potential reconciliation was in fact true, do we think that maybe not getting the response to the potential reconciliation that he was looking for may have sent him into a spiral and then this was the result?

I mean, I think that can be true. It was said that towards the end of their marriage that he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and it was believed that he was no longer taking his medication. The reason that he got the visits restricted down to the way that they were was because he had previously had overnights with the girls and they had been found sleeping in a homeless shelter. He had allowed them at their young ages to go to a corner store from the homeless shelter unsupervised. Okay.

So judgment was not the best. Right. Right. Okay. I'm tracking. The parenting plan, apparently through court records, it was said that he was required to do psychiatric evaluations, mandatory mental health counseling, a domestic violence evaluation. And because of all of that and the previous stuff, he was permitted to see the children

every other weekend. So I don't know. I mean, it's a hard thing when you're talking about mental health. You're talking about mental health with somebody who has been in the military. 1000%. And we already know that there's not actually that much help out there for them and it's incredibly difficult for them to get help. And I just feel so horrible for her because I think that she was trying to do the best

thing for the girls and for him, knowing the struggles that he had. And now she's living every mother's worst nightmare. I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine how she's feeling right now. Truly my heart goes out to her. I saw people speculating that maybe he didn't do it. Maybe he was kidnapped. Maybe he was this, maybe he was that at the point where he's being caught on

people's ring cameras on his own. The FBI is now involved. It's not just local authorities anymore. Um, there's just no way that that's actually true. Um, there's a question in my mind that somebody else did it at all. I think with the knowledge of the mental health issues that he had experienced just his general background

with those mental health issues, if it is in fact true that he wanted to reconcile with the mother and maybe didn't get the response that he wanted. I think all of that plays into exactly what happened. I hope that they find him. I hope that he's not a danger to people in the area, but I find that also hard to believe after what he just did.

Anytime that you can be a danger to your own, you're a danger to yourself and others. The whole situation is so sad. When I first heard about it before I looked into it myself, I was like, oh my God, this is like another Chris Watts situation. Oh, I know. It's terrifying. But vastly different. It's just, I can't imagine.

I cannot, I cannot imagine. Lindsay, Father's Day gifting is always the same story for me. I'm talking socks, grill tools, repeat. This year I wanted to do better, so I actually went on Quince because why not? You know how much I love Quince. They truly made buying a thoughtful gift easy for all of the dads in my life that I have to buy stuff for. Listen, I just went on Quince recently. Actually, I go on Quince quite often because I buy most of my pajama sets from Quince.

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I feel like shopping for Father's Day normally stumps a lot of people. So for the dads who deserves better than basic, Quince has you covered. Go to quince.com slash coffee for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince. com slash coffee to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash coffee. I wanted to be able to get to this one from the listener topics.

This was emailed. So it says, long time listener. I love you. And the podcast with father's day just around the corner. I've had a thought I've been thinking I Coparent my eight-year-old daughter 50-50 my ex and I are both remarried and amicable enough that we do so much without issue However, my daughter's dad does not properly support me as the mother He does not back me in disciplinary decisions or correct issues when she's tried to pit us against each other There was even a long time before I remarried, I was struggling financially, asked for assistance with her childcare costs temporarily. He responded with, that sounds like a you problem.

Mind you, I went from working part-time to needing full-time work due to the divorce and never asked for child support. Is it fair to say that there's a difference between a loving father and a great father because great fathers support your child's mother? There's so much going on in this situation. That's a lot. That's truly a lot to unpack. Yeah, it is. The disciplinary issues, I feel like it depends on where the disciplinary issues are, right? So there are times that, and I'm just going to use myself as an example,

if Jackson gets in trouble at school, Will and I are a united front on that. If he's done something at Will's, that's Will's job to discipline in the way that he chooses to discipline at his home. I would agree. I mean, I agree with that. Like it is my job to discipline what's going on in my house. I agree with that. And I think that something that I've observed myself, being around a lot of people who are divorced and have kids and are co-parenting, I think that the initial thought is each individual party can parent their child how they see fit. But I feel like that gets extremely confusing for the

child. And I know like you've had experience with that, that you've talked about. But I feel like that gets extremely confusing for the child. And I know you've had experience with that that you've talked about. So I feel like there needs to be some type of commonality in regards to what type of punishments are happening across the board. And you go from there of what you see fit for a circumstance. Will and I are very different parents. We have always parented differently, even in the same home. Yeah, which can I'm sure could be very difficult. It is, but I think that there's a place where that can exist and work. Okay. Okay. I'm curious to hear more. I feel like because we're different people, right? We aren't cut from the same cloth. So

obviously we're going to have different ideas about different things. And as a parent, something might trigger me more on certain situations than it does him. And on the flip, there might be things that trigger him more than stuff that triggers me. Like for example, Jackson waking up in the middle of the night in the summer and going in Will's kitchen and making a snack and then not cleaning up after himself.

Will's going to raise mortal hell about that. That's just derogative because that's his house. Right. It's like his house rules. Okay. I understand what you're saying. Now if that happens at my house, I'm going to leave the stuff sitting there and I'm going to wait until he wakes up and I'm gonna ask what the hell happened.

And then probably make him just clean it up. He's gonna clean it up. And then I go through the whole spiel of, you know, if you want to get a snack, you can get a snack when you want to get a snack. But you also need to clean up when you need to clean up. End of conversation. Yeah, that's fair. Now, when it comes to discipline regarding, and I actually hate the word discipline because I don't really necessarily believe

that I'm a disciplinarian. Okay. I feel like I let him live and make choices, and then there's consequences for choices that you make that you know you shouldn't have made. So you're more like consequences. I think the term discipline means different things to different people.

Like I know what discipline looked like in my household and it was very different than consequences. Oh, for sure. Growing up, me too. I knew that all hell was going to break loose if I did some stupid shit. I definitely believe in natural consequence though. Like, for example, we went fishing the other day and I told Jackson, I said, it has been raining, it is muddy out here. We probably shouldn't be doing this, but if you're hell bent on doing it, I will

go and sit with you in the rain. Because it was so rainy, he slipped in his crocs, he messed up his fishing rod, and then he wanted to blame his dad, who was not even with us, for doing his fishing rod the wrong way. And you're like, no, it was actually the rain. Exactly. I gave him the whole scenario of what had transpired and the choices that were made. Then I said, let's go ahead and call your dad since you want to blame your dad who was not even here. Let's go ahead and call your dad and you guys can have a conversation about why you're blaming him for your messed up fishing rod that he did not mess up. Also fair. Do we do that every single time a scenario happens?

No, we do not. Now, if it is a school situation because Jackson gets off the bus at Will's house and I pick him up from Will's house every school day, just makes it easier so I don't have to do the carpool situation. If he's gotten in trouble at school, he already knows, like we have set a precedent that he

knows he's going to come home off of the bus and he knows I'm not going to be sitting in my car, I'm sitting in his dad's living room. Which must be terrifying, truly. There's going to be a joint conversation between all of us regarding behaviors at school. I do think that there is a difference between a loving father and a great father, I guess. I think you can love your kids to your ability because everybody's level of love is different. I don't think that you can really measure that. And I don't think because somebody loves their children means that they're great. I wholeheartedly agree with that. Because you're talking about the

difference between a father and a parent, or a mother and a parent. Yeah, I think it's that's just it's just a difficult. it's a difficult scenario. If you get into the financial side of that email. Curious to hear your thoughts, because I know that you've felt one way and not about the finances, but about like, the person's parent in this situation, we're talking about divorce, it wasn't just like a girlfriend-boyfriend situation. So I'm curious to hear your thoughts. I feel like the struggling financially asking for assistance with child care costs temporarily, going from working part-time to needing full-time and never asking for child support, this is probably going to be an unpopular opinion.

But at the point that because of the divorce, you went from working part-time to needing full-time work, knowing that your child's going to need child care, that should have been discussed through the divorce proceedings and child support should have been established at the point of divorce. I agree with that too. You can't force someone to do something after the fact that you've agreed for them not to. Well, that's one thing. I also want to say that mostly women find themselves in this exact situation because frequently it's women that come out of work or reduce their time at work to take care of the children. I know we're trying to change that

concept now, but it still is primarily women. It's still skewed. So that part in and of itself is really, really unfortunate. You're not nice. And this is just how I feel. I you're not nice. And this is just how I feel. I've never been divorced. Okay. It doesn't make you nice. It doesn't make you better if you're not filing for child support if that's what's needed. 1000% also, I just want to touch on the fact that they are both remarried. Again, my opinion might be an unpopular opinion, but at the point that you have vetted someone else enough

to know that they are a good match for not only you, but your child and what you're bringing to the table, at that point, you guys become a unit in your home. I believe Will and I both think the same way, that the financial responsibilities at his house are on him and the financial responsibilities for Jackson during my time at my home are on me. If I was remarried, then we would both just be paying for whatever it is for Jackson because that person is taking our situation on as well. Fair.

So you're basically like at the point where you get remarried because that's kind of how I think we're aligned. My position has always been not saying that it negates one of the biological parents' responsibilities, but at the point where you are getting remarried, my hope and assumption is that you would be doing that with someone who is taking you plus anything you bring to the table, anyone you bring to the table on fully. I agree. I'm not saying that it should negate it, but I'm saying that negate the financial responsibility

that there still is. So I'm not saying that it should negate it, but I'm saying that, like negate the financial responsibility that there still is, but. Well, I feel like that causes issue within your new marriage that you don't even realize that you're causing because you're bringing a divide into that situation, whether it be financial, emotional, whatever it may be. I would love to hear other people's thoughts on that

because I'm sure we're gonna get like all different kinds of thoughts. People who have divorced with kids, then remarried. I think maybe it also depends on how you run your finances in the new marriage. If we were like Cory and I, we are joint finances. There's not separate accounts. It's just collectively our money. We do what we got to do out of

it and we spend what we got to spend. I know that there's people who do it differently where they have individual accounts and then a joint account where they each put whatever portion in and they do whatever. I'm curious if you do a joint money situation, is it just it's paying for whatever it's paying for, not like a situation of, oh, well that's not my kid, so I'm not contributing. Lindsay, I just wanna know if you switched over to your summer makeup routine yet, because these days I am all about just having my skin out, looking good, and throwing on my Thrive Cosmetics mascara.

I actually have it on my calendar for the weekend to go and get my summer makeup. I just noticed that I needed to do that. But one thing that never changes is the liquid lash extensions mascara from thrive cosmetics. It is a vegan tubing mascara with over 40,000 five star reviews. I love it so much. Could not imagine if this mascara was not in my life.

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New customers can get the Liquid Lash Extensions Mascara and a mini-sized Brilliant Eye Brightener at a special set price with free shipping at thrivecosmetics.com slash coffee. That's thrivecosmetics.com slash coffee. And I guess the only reason that I probably have the opinion that I have is because I've seen what I'm saying growing up. There was never like a discrepancy of, oh, those are yours, so you can't take from this pot to pay for that. Got it. That was never a situation. Okay.

It's not a situation in my situation. I understand that finances, that's a hard situation. Divorce is not easy. Going from a part-time job to a full-time job is not easy. Getting remarried is not easy. But I think that when you make the choice to get remarried, some of that stuff regarding your ex has to go out the window. And I think it goes out the

window in this situation when child support was not established. I know here you can refile for child support. Oh, like separately, like if it is not figured out during divorce, you could then go file. Well, no, let's say for example, no child support was established in the initial divorce proceedings. And then you find yourself in a situation

to where you can no longer pay. I mean, this could be a situation to where just like cost of living went up so much that she was not able to afford what she could afford when she divorced. Right, right. You know, so let's say that if that is the case, you can file for a modification. Yeah, because can't you file for a modification at any time that there is some significant change to your income?

Correct. Either side. I think it's either side can do it. Correct. And I know someone that's going through a divorce right now that they kept their finances somewhat separate and they took portions of their paychecks and put it into a joint.

And that's like where the bills were paid out of and Then anything outside of that portion was separate accounts When I was married everything just went one place That's how we are like here and I know a lot of people a Lot of people are ages don't do it that way I would be interested to know like what the breakdown is on people that do it that way versus don't do it that way. I would be interested to know like what the breakdown is on people that do it that way versus don't do it that way. I'm curious. I actually don't have many friends that are joint. I really don't. It's and to me it was the most

foreign concept I had ever heard. Because my parents did joint there was no separate. So I learned from them using a joint account, what's ours is ours and it's just everybody's. And that's just how I grew up, that's how I was raised, that's how I was taught about money, like, you know, just from that experience. And then when I met Cory, he was telling me about, you know, what his experience around like money was and how it was handled in

his household and things like that, and his was different. So that- Do you think that people are doing with finances what their parents did? The parents set the precedent and then they followed that? Or do we think that some society changes has caused people to separate finances from each other. I think that it could be a little bit of both, honestly. I think it could be both. Look at it like religion, right? Like typically your experience in religion is whatever you're raised as. So I think it could be like religion, like finances, a lot of like core like morals, ethics and values are coming from your being taught by your family.

I know for me specifically getting with Corey, he wasn't really opposed to doing joint, it was foreign to him. The other way was foreign to me. So we kind of when we first moved in together, we kept everything separate and we started a joint account. And it literally lasted one month because he's not good with money and he forgot to pay a bill. And I didn't find out for a couple months that that had gone down. And once I found out, I literally looked at him and I was like, yep, you're done. And we've been joint ever since.

Oh my God. You know, it's just so crazy to think about just life in general and how different people do different things. Like, for example, I'm not remarried, not in a situation to where that would even be remotely on the radar right now. I was watching something the other day and it was talking about to never have your minor children as beneficiaries on your accounts. Of course, when I went through the divorce process, I

was like, Oh, I'm going to make Jackson a beneficiary on everything. But the problem is his probate in the event that something happens, right? Because they're a minor. So you know, who's my beneficiary? I mean, I know who it is. Who is it? Willard. You know, and that's a risk too, because it's like, well, he could just, you know, harm me. What my mom and I did, because we went through like a whole thing after my dad passed away. Luckily, they had everything pretty streamlined. So there wasn't a probate situation for my dad's stuff because everything, it was all handled within the will that everything was literally being turned over to my mom.

They were, like they had the joint bank accounts, they were both names on there. So all she had to do was like show a death certificate to take the name off. And then what she and I did is we I went on all of her stuff, so that in like we redid her will I went on all of her stuff. So in the event that something happens to her, we would have not a difficult process. Like, I'm definitely

advocate for making sure that in the event that like something tragic happens, don't make it difficult for the people who might be mourning and grieving the loss and then also having to get attorneys involved. Oh, it's hell. I literally watched it happen with my grandfather eight months after my dad died. happened with my grandfather eight months after my dad died. In completely different news, I saw this article and it says, nurse, anesthesist. Is that an anesthesiologist? Anesthetist. Anesthetist. I'm so clipping that. I'm so clipping that. Allegedly groped and kissed as a dated woman and gave a justification as to why he did

it. Excuse me? Yeah. So number one, immediately reading this headline, I never want a male doctor or nurse and that might be an unpopular opinion as well. When I started going to the gynecologist and then obviously gynecologist became my OB whenever I was pregnant, I started thinking back to the fact that when I was born, when Kyle was born, when Chase was born, the doctor that delivered all three of us was a male OB. I would have never felt comfortable in that situation. You're doing vaginal checks, all kinds of random shit that goes on whenever you're pregnant

that's just like uncomfortable. I would just never feel comfortable with that. And I know that a lot of people we've talked about this before, like a lot of people are like, No, I would much rather have a male. Yeah, male, rather a male versus female 100%. I'm I'm on same track as you. I don't have this. I lie. I have one male doctor and it's my neurologist and he doesn't got to check nothing that I would feel uncomfortable with. Yeah. I mean, I would be fine with a male doctor for my eye doctor, which- Oh, yeah. My ophthalmologist is also a guy.

Something like that I would be okay with, you know to get necked like that. No, I just wouldn't be able to do it. My mom, I was delivered by a guy. I feel like that was more common back in like the 80s and 90s though. I definitely agree. My mom likes like prefers male doctors like we were my mom and I were just having this conversation over the weekend because I need to go find a dermatologist to start doing skin checks, which I should have been doing a long time ago and don't, but now it's super important. So I was talking to her and she's like, Oh, you could go see Matthew. And I was like, I'm sorry, what?

I said, didn't you tell me you get naked? And she was like, Yeah. And I was like, No, I'm out. Like, it's just not no. No, it's so uncomfortable. So this story says that he has permanently surrendered his license. In a quote, it says he engaged non-consensual sexual conduct with multiple female patients while they were sedated. I'm sorry. It was a full-blown investigation that was done. It alleges that he cupped a patient's breast, placed his thumb in a patient's mouth, and kissed two others on the lips while they were sedated. Okay.

I need to stop right there and I need to know why he even had the option to surrender his license and why it was not immediately taken. I don't know how that works with the board if it's kind of like I'm surrendering because I'm guilty or if the investigation has to go on and then there's like findings and then they revoke it. But it says that the incidents involved two maternity patients and two women undergoing orthopedic surgeries. What the fuck is this guy's justification that I wanna know? Well, let me finish telling you about what he did.

So it says that the patient that he fondled her breast was a situation where he had provided spinal sedation for a knee replacement surgery. And during another invalid, another evaluation as part of the investigation into the allegations, it says that his justification was patient C was attractive and close to his age. That is not a justification. Oh my god.

Yes. He told an investigator that while the women's eyes were closed, one of the women, he kissed her on the lips while sedated and then stated that he told the risk manager that was doing this investigation that patient D had, he had had pleasant interaction with her and he was under the impression that that patient liked him. I'm literally speechless at this whole situation that he thinks that any of this makes what he did okay. Apparently, patient A was drowsy and he claims that she was clinging towards him by staring intently at him holding and squeezing his hand. So he got the impression that patient

A liked him and admitted while patient A's eyes were closed, he stroked her cheek and lips. No. So while he's undergoing this psychosexual evaluation, It was uncovered that he, and a quote, desperately craves love and affection beyond what is normal. He thought that he would get away with the conduct because he thought the patients would like it. Why would it wait that you have to sedate someone to do this under sedation? You thought that they would like it? I'm just so confused also. I'm disturbed. I'm just wondering how they knew

that this happened under sedation. Well, that's what I'm like, did someone walk in? Did he tell people? Did someone report? Like I'm also confused. I need more information. I don't know, but I'm like, I've had surgery before and been in our anesthesia. I don't know that I would know my ass from my elbow during that time.

So how did someone find out all this information? I don't know. Maybe camera. I don't know. It's alarming, right? Beyond alarming. And what's worse is that we know that that happens way more than just this case, and that's sick.

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That's CONVOES to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Another listener writes in and says, this summer I plan to teach my 12-year-old daughter life skills so she's not spending all of her time on her phone and video games. Besides mowing, laundry, and dishes, what are some other age-appropriate things that I should teach her? We're also going through the same summer situation. I feel like it's so easy to get caught up when your kids are just at home and lounging around and you're working and taking care of life things to just allow them to like, veg out. That's not happening in this house this summer. Now, am I going to make you do chores all summer long?

No, but are you going to do chores? Yes. We have set a limit on the technology. There's less limit on the weekends just as it would be during the school weeks, right? Yeah. But Monday through Friday, we're not sitting on a phone or on a video game all summer long. Like you have a scooter, you have a fishing rod, you have golf clubs, like go find something, you have friends, go find something to do. I think that this generation of kids, because they have so much access to each other

via technology, what I'm seeing is they now require less in-person interaction with them because they're always interacting with them all day long. So I think that's why you're seeing the shift and kids playing less with each other because they're playing more with each other on phones and games on phones and games on phones and games on devices.

Well, it's constant access. They don't have to be face to face. Like for example, Jackson Jackson is having a friend come over on Friday for like a pool day and a sleepover. Right. They're going to go outside and play. Like we're going to the pool. Y'all are, you can sit at your house and he can sit here if you're just going to be on devices. Right. Right. I don't agree with that at all. Um, as far as age appropriate things to teach,

I personally feel like teaching them how to do laundry at the age of 12 years old is something that is not too hard. Agreed. I mean, we're not talking about big messes, right? Like you now have pods, so what can they really do? Hopefully not eat them, okay. It's pretty self-explanatory, one would think. Teaching him how to sort clothes properly.

Because, you know, when the whole other conversation I first got with Will in college, he washed everything together. I mean, we're talking like a blanket and a towel with every color of clothes. That's Corey. And we would get into little spats because I'm like, that's not how you do laundry. And he's like, No, it's all getting clean. And I said, No, the the way you pack a washing machine to the brand the way that you do. There is no possible way that your boxer briefs are getting the shit stains out of them.

Like there's no way. I will have you know the amount of times that I have watched Corey do full laundry and then it comes out, it comes upstairs and I will literally smell it and I'll be like I need you to smell this right now and tell me if it's clean or dirty cuz I know it's not clean. Well, it just came out of the washer. I said that didn't mean it was clean. It still smells like sweat.

Oh, 100%. So I think at 12 years old, they are capable of doing a lot of things. I'm not gonna make him spend his entire summer just doing chores, but you're gonna learn how to sort laundry. you're going to learn how to clean your own bathroom, you're going to learn how to load and unload a dishwasher, which that's a whole nother conversation for a whole

nother time because some people are psychotic about loading a dishwasher. I am not mine's's just, no one would think that I was the personality type that I actually am if they looked at the way that I loaded a dishwasher. It's like it just goes in and if it doesn't look right, then I just put soap in it and wash it. Well, I tell you what, Debora is a maniac about how her dishwasher is loaded.

I just don't care. Will is one of those people that plays Tetris in a dishwasher. Yep. And that used to drive me nuts because I'm just like, just put the shit in there and what doesn't fit, run another load. Like, it's not that big a deal. So maybe I'll put Will on that duty for teaching Jackson how to load a dishwasher like Tetris. But I'm just thinking of our kids getting older, right? And eventually, probably most of our hopes are they get married, find life partners and move on with their life. I don't want my son to be getting in a situation like that with his partner to where he looks like he did not have proper raising.

Yeah, because then you're going to have a problem. That's when you have to start saying, I raised him better. Yeah. And what's so crazy is Will's mom is very type A like organizer. Everything has its place. Everything's labeled with a label maker, perfectionist at doing laundry, like all the things, right? Yep. Goes by recipes.

Like we're talking measuring spoons with like using a knife over it to make sure there's like no extra don't know how she raised the boys that she raised probably because she did absolutely everything for them. And I'm just like, Wow, like your offspring really, really does the the least with the most. And I just don't want Jackson to be like that. Like, hey, you need to know that when you wash towels, the only towels we have in this house are white, right? Like that is something that you use bleach and a pod with.

Right. I'm not gonna trust you with bleach right now because I don't even trust myself with bleach. Truly who does? When they can come out with bleach pods, we can talk. Wait, do they have those? I don't even trust myself with bleach. Truly who does? When they can come out with bleach pods, we can talk. Wait, do they have those? I don't know, but if not, we gotta invent it. Oh, should we go on Shark Tank? I think people would buy it. I- Listen, I just ruined- ruined a $50

local sweatshirt from bleach splashing up. Oh my god, no. It's now hombre. Oh shit. And on that note, we have foul play. Okay, this is the foul play I'd wish on no one. My husband was making a huge bowl of pico de gallo for my party. In case you didn't know, jalapenos are in pico. Well, about 20 minutes later, he started hinting at wanting to sneak away from our kids for a few minutes. Nope. I jokingly said, did you wash your hands? And he said, yes, of course, lol.

Well, I'm sure you know where this is headed now. We are in the middle of it all and it's all going well. Just as I'm about to get off, he starts rubbing me. It feels great. I get off and we are still going. Seconds later, I am burning. My clit is literally on fire. Then it starts to burn all over down there, even internally. I start freaking out and he's apologizing

to me and then he has the nerve to say I guess we better hurry up then are you going to come again? I said absolutely not and you have about 10 seconds to get yours because I can't do this anymore. She's nicer than I would have been. So he finishes real quick and then I sprint to the bathroom. The next 20 minutes are spent with me holding a washcloth with ice cold water and dial antibacterial soap on me while my husband keeps saying, I'm so sorry, over and over again and Googling what to do. When I say that I was about to vomit from the burning pain, I am not joking. It was the most intense burn that I can't

even describe. Minutes later, my husband went to scratch his nose. I'm sure he was picking it. And he says, holy shit, my nostril is on fire now. I swear I wash my hands with soap and water. It must be under my nails. I'm even more sorry now. Moral of the story, wash your hands with soap and water no less than 385 times and maybe cut your nails too after cutting jalapenos and before doing anything sexual.

I don't know about you, but growing up back in the day, if we got like any like pepper for like whatever reason, like, I don't know, like my grandparents had gardens and shit, you know? And it's like, they'd be like cutting stuff and you'd be in there just watching and probably touching stuff that you shouldn't be touching and then like rubbing your fucking eyes

because you're six years old and stupid. They called poison control for shit like that. Are you kidding me? 1000% serious. If someone had been playing and fucking jalapenos and got my clip burning on fire and not on a clip. They're calling poison gun. You're calling poison control. I'm calling poison control. But you didn't get poisoned.

No, I think it's just like what you're supposed to do. My grandparents had a magnet like on their refrigerator. It's a poison control number. Yours didn't? Absolutely not. Wait, is this like not a thing? I don't know. I know it wasn't a thing for me personally.

I also know my brother was a jackass and did exactly what this person was talking about with the pepper thing and then touched all up on his eyes and he blew up like a balloon. Oh, see? No. Like I can't, I cannot get behind this. If someone was making pico de gallo for my party and then we decided to get freaky and my clit started burning on fire. There's no party. I just want to know specifically what was it during the Pico making that you were like, you know what, we can get it on real fast. I do think that you can get sexually turned on by like seeing your partner doing shit, you know,

making Pico? Well, I mean, yeah, like, what if they just like look hot chopping up shit? I mean, for me personally, I feel like I am like, hey, what exactly are you touching? Because I think about these things because of how many foul plays have been sent in about shit like this. I am hyper vigilant on where those fingers have been. The foul play that will forever live rent free in my mind is the cum jar. That one is crazy and it makes Cory gag and the what was it? It was like a pineapple under the bed or something.

Yeah, but I just feel like that's illegal and if someone was putting cum in my pancakes, like worry, but I'm pressing charges. I thought you liked protein. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app. Follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope that you guys

have a great week and we'll see you soon. Bye. with us and our community. We hope that you guys have a great week and we'll see you soon. Bye. ["Summer of Cinema"] This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of Cinema is here.

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Pay never. Hi, I'm Adam Rippon, and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent-free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments, I probably should have kept to myself nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid-flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects.

I've been told to chill. Will I? Unclear. But if you've ever laid awake at night, cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations. You found your people. Entruse of Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcasts.