Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - AeroDICKnamics

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

CC379: Kail wants to know how parents navigate a coparenting situation involving a mildly sick child. Lindsie gives an update on the Duxbury children case where a mom strangled her three children. Kail and Lindsie react to O.C. housewife Tamra Judge's post about her being "diagnosed with autism" and answer a listener's question about teaching their kids to keep their hands to themselves. Today's Foul Plays involve two VERY DIFFERENT sexy times. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsor! Kiwico: Get 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code COFFEEJust Thrive: Save 20% off a 90 day bottle of Just Thrive Probiotic and Just Calm at JustThriveHealth.com with promo code COFFEERocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOSStitchFix: Get started today at StitchFix.com/coffeeconvos

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Good morning. Welcome to Coffee Company's podcast. We match in our brown shirts. I feel like this is mauve. Oh, okay. So mine's, this is actually a nude shirt. I don't know if you're familiar with that brand, but I love it. I love nudes. Yeah, this is a nude shirt. And I don't know like the specific color like on their website, but this is pretty much like a like a chocolate brown. I love it. Good morning. Welcome to coffee combos podcast. What the fuck is up?

Um, truly, I have never been in such a weird place in my life. I literally have so many good things happening at one time and also at the same time have so many weird fucking shitty things happening at the same time. And I'm just here to say that like, if you are like me and anyone listening to this podcast is like me and going through like this really weird time, focus on the good stuff. Because I did have myself a good cry last night. It's been a long time since I cried. I feel a little better this morning and I'm going to focus on what I do have going for me, for us, my family, because I'll tell you what, like over the last several months, I

have focused a lot on the negative shit and it did nothing for me. Like it didn't change. It was like I, and I know this sounds so cliche, I know it sounds so dumb, but like focusing on like worrying about the stuff that I couldn't, was never going to change the outcome of whatever it was going to be. Do you know what I mean? So right now I'm trying to focus on what we're doing. I think a lot of times when like negative stuff happens, you forget about all of the positive things and focus so hard on the negative, trying to control that. And then you get wrapped

up in a negative where you can't enjoy the positive. 100%. That's exactly like what is happening because, or what was happening. And so this time around, because like one thing ended, another thing started. That's what I'm going to do because no amount of worrying will change the outcome. And at the end of the day, the cards are going to fall where they fall. Right. Like, yeah, my best. Who was it that told me not too long ago that maybe it was my therapist said if you actually think about life and what you have control over kale, if you flip out of that chair, oh my God, kale, someone please use that as a social clip. I don't know what's worse. I don't know what's

worse the fact that you were doing that or the fact that I was actually hoping for the purposes of the podcast that you fell back. I hope Kristin watches it back and is like, what the fuck is going on? What is going on? So I think it was, I think it was my therapist that told me if you actually think about life, the amount of control that you think that you have, you really have minimal amount of control over anything. And so if you put things into perspective that way, then it'd be good. Yeah, no, I agree. I think it's it's also easier said than done. So like you have to make the

conscious decision every single day to like focus on the good things and focus on what we do have. And that's sort of what I'm trying to train myself now is like, I keep saying like someone sent me feedback about using the word like, and so I hear you, I read it, I read your messages, and I will do my best to change that. But it's hard and it's way easier said than done. So I just want to try to be intentional with thinking about the good stuff and also teaching my kids that over the next several weeks. I think if I do it and I also exhibit that to my children, maybe they'll pick up on it and they're not learning it late in life like me. So we'll see how it goes. But how's everything?

Last week, Jackson was out of school for two days. And I was going to ask you, which parent are you? Because, okay, on Tuesday, will send him to school, he gave him mucinex or maybe Motrin, sent him on to school was like, go to your school day. Wednesday rolls around, Jackson wakes up, he's like, I absolutely cannot go to school. He has used an entire roll of toilet paper blowing his nose. And I'm like, I'm not sending you to school for multiple reasons. Number one, I wouldn't want to be sitting in a classroom feeling like that. Number two, I don't want you spreading germs to other people. Number three, I feel like it's a bad look when you send your kids to school knowing that they're sick and then

you get the call from the school nurse and they're like, did you know that he was sick whenever he came to school? I'm not answering any of those questions. So we're just not going to school. So we didn't go to school on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I think. And now we're full blown back into school the amount of times that that child blew his nose and then threw it in my toilet. My toilet stocked up my toilet and I had no plunger around this house. Yikes. Yeah. So back to the question, which parent are you? Are you sending your kids if they're just slightly showing possible sickness? This is a tricky question because I do have a high conflict situation and unless

I can take them to the doctor, it's like one of those things where I'm not fighting with the co-parent about this. Like I'm truly not fighting with you about this. I know what's best where I have another co parent where is blatantly not wanting to take the child to school and saying, tell mom you had a headache. Well, I know for a fact you don't get headaches. So you absolutely did not have a headache. And so it's one of those things that I really think it depends on the situation. If it's Javi or Joe, I think I could just message them and be like, hey, like Lincoln, Isaac, they're not feeling well, I'm not going to send them and it would be fine. Lux and Creed both have allergies. And actually, it's really ironic that you brought this up because

Isaac's home until Thursday. So we were at the doctor yesterday and he can't go back until Thursday. So we actually have a doctor's note for that. It's such a weird, that's like the family conflict, that whole thing. But I think in terms of not sending them or sending them, I think it's sort of, have you, do you follow Beach Gem on social media? No, what is that? She's an ER doctor and she basically talks about when a child has a fever. So she said that it's essentially a myth that the 104 fever, they're going to have like brain damage and febrile seizures and things like that. And she says they could have a 102 fever and be acting normal, treat it accordingly. Same for, you know, someone might have a 100 temperature fever and they're

lethargic, they're very tired, they're doing all, you know, not acting themselves. And so it sort of goes by that. I think if my kids have a runny nose and then they're stuck, like they're needing to blow their nose a bunch, I think I would have to assess the situation overall. So I'm not going to keep you home for a runny nose, but if you're lethargic and you're really not acting yourself and you're kind of, I'm not sending you to school and your dads will have to come talk to me about it because I don't know. So has it always been like that

where you would need to get a doctor's note to prove to your co-parent that you took them to the doctor? Well, no, just one of the scenarios. The other ones I think are very understanding and it's like if the kids don't feel good, then they're not going to school. And I would feel the same way if they kept them home. Cause that was going to be my next question about do you take them to the doctor or do you not over simple little things? Like as a mom, I feel like you know what common cold

looks like, what flu looks like, what stomach bug looks like. I don't need to go and get a doctor's note for them to tell me that my child has stomach bug when he's shitting all over the place and throwing up. Well, and so that's what's so tricky, especially with a high conflict situation. I know that I could message hobby or I could text Joe and say, Hey, so and so is throwing up until this goes on for 48 hours or I'm even more concerned. I'm not going to take them to the doctor. They're not going to give me a hard time. But I've been in other situations where, you know, they're not feeling well, but doesn't necessarily warrant a doctor appointment

yet. And then what do I do? Because if we're in and out of court, I have to be able to prove that the kid is sick. I don't want to waste a sick visit that someone else who needs it at the pediatrician because they do sick visits every single day, they only have a certain number. If I know that they don't necessarily need to go to the doctor today, but they should stay home from school, I feel that I should be able to make those decisions without fighting with a co-parent, but that has not always been the case. Oh my God. If Will and I had to fight like that, I might just, I don't know what I would do. I would commit crimes. No, no, no. It's truly the one of the biggest headaches.

Thankfully, knock on wood, knock on metal. Hi, I don't know if I'm going to jinx it by saying this, but Lux and Creed have not been super sick this season. So I'm hoping that we don't have a lot of sick days because I don't want, I don't want to be in that situation. I texted Joe yesterday from the pediatrician and I was like, Hey, like this is what's going on. Like, do you want me to keep them? Do you not want me to keep them? Like I just, it just is not, I didn't want to fight with people about what I think is

best for the kids. Well, I need to ask you one more question. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. So in your co-parenting agreements, like across the board, they might be different, but who has medical control? So here's the thing. The co-parenting agreements are mostly the same. They're literally almost identical. They're like sort of fraternal

twins, right? Like they're twins, but not identical. Only difference in Javi and Joe's custody parenting plans that I can think of off the top of my head are that Joe requested every Memorial Day because he sometimes throws parties. That's like literally the only difference. I believe Joe, I believe for all of them, we have joint decision making, which is fine for hobby and myself and maybe fine for Joe and myself if it were to come down to like big, big decisions. However, I don't know what that will look like. I think from what I remember with Chris, I do believe that the medical decisions that we have made up until this point have been aligned, but they're in a high conflict situation. It is very not helpful

to not have final say on sports, final say on electronics, final say on medical because – and I'm not just speaking on Chris, I'm speaking across the board. I wish that that was in my parenting land. I don't want to get beat up for this. The next thing that I'm about to say. However, I feel like when you're splitting time with your kids and let's just use 50 50 for the example since it's exactly half. Even in those situations, there needs to be one decision maker when it comes to various different things.

And I don't know if it's this way in Delaware, but in my state, there are four different things that are placed in decision making category in a custody situation. One is religion, one is extracurricular, one is medical, and one is education. I have 100% control of education and medical. Will has 100% control of extracurricular. However, he has, there are stipulations with extracurricular that he can only enroll him in one activity per season can only enroll him in one activity per season without other parent approval. In religion, we're both Baptist, so that's a wash. Okay, that makes sense. The thing is that I understand with family court that the judges have all sorts of cases that come across their docket. I fully understand that. However, I think that sometimes

it's hard for them to determine how high conflict a scenario is. For example, one of mine is very, very high conflict and you can't force a judge to include certain things like final decision making on certain things. That's just standard. So I just don't know how to go about that when you come to terms like Javi and I did, like Joe and I did, we never went in front of the judge for that. That was, you know, between us, between our attorneys, we made it work and we came to terms with it. Knowing what I know now, you know, if we were to ever get back in that situation, I would bring that to their attention. Like, hey, like, what do you think about this final decision making, etc. We can't force a judge to do that. So I just don't know how we do that.

Well, my attorney always said when when I filed for divorce, she said, I'm going to have a conversation with Will's attorney, because you seem as if you don't ever want to see a courtroom. And I never wanted a judge to have control of what was going to happen with our child. We are the parents. We created him. We need to be able to get along well enough to raise him until he's 18 years old. I feel like when you have the split decision making on medical or education, that gets really sticky because if you don't agree, then you automatically have to go to a mediation, which is what my agreement says, or you're back in court.

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To learn more about this groundbreaking company, don't miss the episode with Tina Anderson. Take control today with Just Thrive. I wholeheartedly agree with you, but I have two questions regarding that. So one, what would you do or what do you think you would do? Because it's always easier said than done, right? When put in the actual position, what would you do if you wanted to go to mediation and the co-parent was pushing for trial? Like bypass mediation wants to go to trial. That's my first question. And before I forget, my second question is, have you heard of a co-parenting

coordinator? Because I want to talk about that on here. Yes. Okay. So the first one in my parenting plan, there is a clause in there that states that if we cannot come to a mutual agreement on something, then we have to go to mediation before court is ever used. We jointly choose the mediator and it is jointly paid in a 50-50 percentage cut split. And all of that has to be done ahead of going to court. Court is not an option. That's number one. I would think that it wouldn't look that great

in a courtroom setting where one parent has offered a mediation to resolve any issues or conflict, and the other parent chose to use the court system. My attorney always told me that judges do not like that. They don't want it in their courtroom if you can do it outside of their courtroom. That's pretty much what I've always been told as well. Second, about the co-parenting coordinator, I have heard that, but I've only heard anyone ever use that in a high conflict situation.

I had never heard of a co-parenting coordinator. I had always just heard of co-parenting counseling. And what a co-parenting coordinator is, is essentially a mediator. So I can't speak for other states, but if you're listening to this from the state of Delaware, there are few and far between people who offer co-parenting, coordinating services. And basically what they do is they act as a referee prior to going to court. So for example, say I'll use Javi as an example, because Javi and I have a really, really good relationship. We have a really good working dynamic about Lincoln when it comes to something like this. So Javi recently went to Costa Rica on my time with Lincoln.

He reached out to me and said, hey, we're going to Costa Rica. I know it's your week, but can I have Lincoln? And I'll offer you this date to make up your time. The way that Javi and I have always operated when it comes specifically to travel, I'm just using this as an example because it's the first thing that came to mind is, you know, if I'm going somewhere really cool for Lincoln on Javi's time, Javi has never

really denied me that I can think of and vice versa. So I'm always going to let him go do an experience with his other family. That's best for him, you know. So if the other co-parent is like, no, you can't take them to Florida, you're not taking them to Florida. And the co-parenting coordinator, not to be confused with co-parenting counseling, would act as a referee and basically go to the other parent and say, okay, Kale is offering Javi six days to make up five days of his time, you know, basically acting as a referee. And I had no idea this was even a thing. So I cannot believe that I have been a mother for 14 years. And I'm just now this year in 2024, figuring out that this was an option, because had I known I would have I would have used one a long time ago. I mean, I will say that they can be

expensive here in Delaware, it's usually either like a therapist, psychologist, or an attorney. And obviously, you know, attorneys are very, very expensive. And then depending on the therapist or the psychologist that does it, it really depends. But you can also ask for those costs to be split between the parents. And so that's something that could be, and the same goes for like medical decisions or sports, you can use the co-parenting coordinator to kind of referee the situation prior to going back to the courtroom. I think co-parenting coordinator is an absolute phenomenal thing for people who have high conflict. I mean, obviously the ideal situation is

we don't wanna hurt any person's pocket, so let's just be normal and figure it out. But that is not every situation. And a lot of people, even if they could figure it out together, just truly don't want to figure it out together, because for whatever reason, they don't want any communication with other person, right?

I've also never understood why parents would not be willing to switch time with the other parent when it is truly in the best interest of the child, whether it be for an experience, a trip that they might not be able to have the opportunities to go on again. Like never would I ever tell Will, no, you cannot do that because that is on my time now

I'm going to expect to get my time back. So if we'll take some five of my days I don't have to have them back five consecutive days, right? But I need five days sprinkled in to get back so I don't feel like I'm being robbed But I would be robbing my child for not allowing him to do don't feel like I'm being robbed. But I would be robbing my child for not allowing him to do whatever the experience or trip or whatever you want to call it that Will's doing that he wouldn't have the opportunity. I could not keep him at home knowing that I was staying at home in the house and his dad's on a beach trip that he could have been on. That's insane and it's selfish.

Well, so I think back to times where, you know, Joe, myself, maybe Javi, like in the early, early, early days, we're doing tip for tat stuff like that. And I look back and I'm like, the only person that suffered and missed out on a trip was the child. You know what I mean? And so now, I mean, it's been pretty good when it comes to trips specifically, it's been good for a really long, long time. I will say speaking of trips, Isaac is a different person now than he was even like a year ago. He told me, he looked at me and he was like, Mom, I don't think I can go to Disney with you.

And I was like, what? And he was like, I'm just, I can't miss school. Like it would be, it wouldn't be great. The workload is a lot. And then he also started a club at school and he's like the president of the club or whatever. So, um, he's got a lot of obligations. He's in three clubs. He has a full course load. They're 90 minute classes. So it's a big deal. And so unfortunately he's not coming. But even to that point, I texted Joe and I was like, Hey, um, Isaac, you know,

I gave Isaac the option if he wanted to come or not. He doesn't want to come. So unfortunately, I'm going to be leaving him with you, you know, for my time, but Joe was fine with it. Isaac seemed pretty fine with it. And he does want to go to Spain with us though. So we'll see. I got to call the school and see what they say about that. But lots of stuff. Speaking of kids, let's talk about, I think that we talked about this case a really, really long time ago. Do you remember the Duxbury children that were killed? So Lindsay Clancy, for anyone who doesn't remember this case, she sent her husband out to run errands and to pick up dinner and come back. During the time that he was gone, she killed

her children and then attempted to kill herself by jumping out of a second story window in their home. She survived. She is paralyzed, I believe it is from the waist down. And I believe that she was found not guilty, if I'm not mistaken. It being said that she had a psych, she was in psychosis, postpartum psychotic break. And the update is that the husband spoke out. He finally did an interview about this. And I know that there was mixed reviews on, you know, people supported her because she needed help. And then other people saying she was purely a monster. Husband spoke out. I don't think that they're still married. He lives in an apartment somewhere,

said that he did not marry a monster and that was not the person that he married and had children with. And so I think, you know, he, he, it sounds like he's forgiving her and she, he says that she misses the kids every single day. I do very distinctly remember this. I watched all the press conferences and stuff about it. Wasn't it like New England or something like that? Yeah, it was... Like Boston area? Yep, Massachusetts.

I don't know. I understand postpartum depression is a real thing. And I think that a lot of people don't understand the complexity and severity of postpartum depression and the fact that it can be like she sends him out of the home to do these things has enough time to kill her children and then attempt to kill herself. To me that seems very planned and not that that's surprising that she she got off. It does say that she did search ways to kill prior to this. So to your point, sorry, I misspoke. She pleaded not guilty during her arraignment, which took place at Toopsbury Hospital. I don't know if it ever came back. I just know that she pled guilty. So they did say that her attorney

said that they had her so heavily medicated that she was unable to have and feel normal feelings like sadness, cry, anything like that. She literally was void of all feelings. But there had to have been, you can't say you're void of all feelings, but then you have the feeling to look up how to kill your children and yourself. I'm not entirely sure of what psychosis entails in terms of premeditation. I don't know if you're in a state of psychosis for a long period of time. And so that could contribute to looking it up. I don't know, so I can't speak on it. I don't know. I just wanted to tell you that the husband spoke

out and it sounds like he's on the path to forgiveness. But I also think that that situation could be very true for a lot of people who have been married. I think that people inevitably change over time. And I think that it's fair to say, even outside of that said situation, okay, well, who you are now is not who I married or who I want to be with. I'm sure you've been with someone before where you're like, okay, everything was good and great. And then I started seeing things about that person that I no longer could co-sign. But how does that work? Right? Like when you are saying your vows to someone and you're saying for better or for worse, for sickness and in health, till death do us part, whatever your vows are. And that person changes in the marriage. That you have to

know when you go to the altar, when you're getting married, that you guys grow as people. It's human nature. We're going to grow individually as a couple too. Like how does that work when you know that you're going to grow and you're going to evolve and you're going to go through low periods and high periods? And what if you just don't mesh anymore? Like I guess I can't understand like the whole purpose, but at the same time I do want to get married again. Like I, Elijah has really been there for a rock bottom for me and I want, but who's to say that I will be anything like I am right now 10 years from now.

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so you can truly spend quality time tackling projects together. There's no commitment so you can pause or cancel at any time, tinker, create, and innovate with Kiwi Co. Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com promo code coffee. That's up to 50% off your first crate at Kiwico.com promo code coffee. co.com promo code coffee. Well, I think as long as two people are taking vowels seriously, and equally, and that your growth is in a positive direction, that doesn't mean that you're not going to have times of hardship or whatever it may be. But I think as long as you're going in a positive direction, you're not doing like bad shit, then I think it can work. But I think a lot of people get married and one person takes the vows very seriously and one person doesn't take them seriously at all. Or you have people who both don't take them seriously. That's when shit falls apart. So interesting. I think confidently say I had zero business taking vows to marry

someone ever. I would agree with that on my end too. I just I think it was too I think maybe now if I was to make vows with someone I would take them so seriously and it would be in sick it would be in for better or for worse and I would stick by them. But 10 years ago, no, I was not old enough to know what that meant. I didn't even know who I was yet. I honestly think that I should never have gotten married until my 30s. I also feel that way. So does that mean that you feel the same way about kids? Like if you could have Jackson, the same exact kid, 10 years from when you did, would you do you

think that that would have been beneficial to all the parties? Yes. Interesting. I also feel the same way. I think I would be a better mom if I could have the exact same kids 10 years from when I did. I think that I would be a different, I mean, with the exception of the babies, because I'm obviously how old I am now, but I would agree. I wouldn't change the path that I was on. I had him at 23.

But I just think that, have you ever heard people say, and my parents used to say this, because they had kids all across the board. My dad started at 21 with me and then continued having kids up until 17 years later, right? The parents that they were to Grayson were not the same parents they were to me at 21. And I don't hold any resentment towards that. They were doing the best of what they could do with what they had, right?

But I just think that the patience grows, you go through things in life. The hope would be that you're more financially stable at a later age in life. I do think things would be so different. And I wonder what my child would be like if I had him at 30 instead of 23. I talked about this on a podcast I was recently on, but I think that the kids that I raised myself versus the kid, the child that had, I had a lot of help with are so different. So I don't even know that my child, my children, because Isaac and Lincoln are great kids. They're both leaders. They're both, I mean, they're just great kids. I don't know. I really don't know if, because my parenting hasn't necessarily changed. I will say my patience

has gotten better to your point. I will say that. I would just be so curious to know how different they would be or if they would be different at all. Oh, I think that they would definitely be different because you would be different. True. You know? Yeah. But I also don't have any regrets because I think all of that that happened, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and the timing that it happens for a specific reason. And you might not know it then, but you understand it later. I don't think that I would be who I am today

if I wouldn't have done those things when I was 23. 100%. Also, if we didn't have kids when we had kids, this podcast would never be born. Could you imagine if we didn't have kids until we were 30? Well, first of all, I probably wouldn't even have had kids at all. We'd be like Caller Daddy. We would be Caller Daddy part one. We'd be Dingle and Dangle.

Dingle and Dangle. Okay, I have to play this TikTok. I'm scared. I'm so triggered. So allegedly, Tamara Judge from Real Housewives OC revealed on either her podcast or on a podcast that she had a therapy session and that she was diagnosed on the spectrum. I did not listen to the podcast. However, I saw clips of said podcast and this mom kind of breaks it down on this TikTok. So I want everyone to be able to hear the background story really before I talk about it.

Wait, before you play it, can I just ask a question and you may not know the answer to this? Can you be diagnosed with autism with one therapy session? I'll answer that question after you watch this video. Okay. This message is for Tamara Judge, Teddy Mellencamp and the Two T's in a podcast since you turned off all of your comments and stitches on your video about Tamara having autism.

I want you to know I'm speaking as the mother of a child with autism, and I want you to know how your comments conflating the idea of being a bad person with autism is really invalidating a lot of people's experiences and really understating what it is to have autism. It's true in the autism community that girls and women are often misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed because all of the literature, all of the studies have always been done around boys and men. However, in this instance, you can't just go to therapy once

and be told that you have autism and then use that as an excuse to 13, 14 years of bad behavior on television. If you knew anything about what an actual diagnosis looks like, there are years of wait lists. You have to talk to an immense amount of specialists. You have to be diagnosed by an actual MD, PhD, actual psychologist, and not just one therapist that you've met once at one therapy session. Comments like yours, not only, as I said, invalidate many autistic families' experiences, but also

sets the stage for so much misinformation that is already out there about autism. That is one of the reasons why I tell most people that my child has special needs and not autistic, because if I use the word autistic, many people out there just believe that it's not a real thing because of the misinformation that you put out there. Autism is very real. It's not caused by trauma, as you claim in your post, and it is just like it's not caused by vaccines. Okay? Autism is very real. It's not caused by trauma as you claim in your post and it is just like it's not caused by vaccines. Okay. Autism is genetic. Please do your research before you go out there and just claim that trauma that you've experienced causes your autism. And if it's really true that you went to a therapist once who diagnosed you with autism, you really need to have their license checked

because that's completely irresponsible. Your words have meaning. I know you don't want to suffer the consequences of them since you've turned off all of your comments and all the responses from people except for the good ones. But I want you to know that you conflating all of your bad behavior with autism is completely gross and negligent for families who deal with this on a daily basis. My son goes to therapies more than 40 hours a week.

He works harder than most people that I know to deal with his diagnosis. He's not unempathetic like a sociopath. He is empathetic, he's just very direct because you claiming that you have a lack of empathy does not mean that you are autistic. And I highly recommend that you go to an actual psychologist. If you really think that there's a problem and you're not just trying to create storyline for money, you should probably go to a real psychologist

or a real doctor before you start making outrageous claims and then not responding to any of your criticism. I am in tears because first of all, at the point that she talked about how hardworking her son is, and also just, you know, I know a lot, I don't want to say a lot. I know a few families that have kids with autism. Emily works in a classroom where her students are special needs nonverbal. I believe they have autism. It is so heartbreaking to see the struggles that the family like raising kids is hard. So when you add special needs into the mix of it, it's probably harder tenfold, right? Like, I cannot imagine what the mom feels, that mom that was speaking, feels as a parent wanting to see her child just...

I don't even know, I don't want to misspeak, but like you want to see your kids have the best, the easiest life. And when you're talking about a child that has autism and is having to face adversities that maybe other children don't necessarily have or has to work harder is heartbreaking because you know, as a mom that you just want the best for your kids. So for someone, I don't know, I haven't seen the interview. I have no idea what Tamra Judge says. I truthfully don't even know what the lady looks like. But it's so heartbreaking to even think about her miss speaking and misrepresenting, you know, autism in that way.

Like just hearing about it makes me sick. I hate reality TV for this reason. I think that when you sign up to be on reality TV, you are signing up to show a part of your life. If you are going on TV and acting a damn fool, and that is airing, there is a level of responsibility that you have to take for those actions. And misspeaking, or in my opinion, speaking out of turn, saying that you went to therapy on a podcast,

that you went to therapy on a podcast, that you went to therapy and your therapist diagnosed you with autism or on the spectrum. That is so insensitive and so fucked up because you have had bad behavior on TV for over a decade and now you've gone to a therapist and you were diagnosed autistic and you're using that as an excuse for not being empathetic and making bad decisions. That's fucking insane to me. And regarding autism, there are many different layers of being diagnosed with autism. Seeing a psychologist or a doctor as that mother was saying is accurate information. It is multiple days of intense testing.

It is multiple days of being evaluated. The period of time that it takes to be diagnosed with autism is vast. And to say that you went to a therapist and got diagnosed with autism is vast. And to say that you went to a therapist and got diagnosed with autism, you're bat shit crazy and you're out of your fucking mind. Let's talk about Rocket Money because I am saving to build a new house and we start small over here, right? So first we're going to cancel all the unwanted subscriptions

that we didn't know we had or we forgot about. And if you guys don't want wanna waste your time doing it, Rocket Money will do it for you. I absolutely love Rocket Money. For those of you who have not heard about them, we have talked about them so much, but Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscription,

monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. So you're gonna be able to see all of your subscriptions in one place, know exactly where your money is going. And for any of them that you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them with just a few taps. I love Rocket Money's dashboard because it gives you a clear view of your

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or you're close to going over budget, this has been so helpful. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps features. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos.

So if anyone listening to this podcast is from Delaware or has a child with autism, to my knowledge, Delaware is one of the best states to be for autism resources. We also have this program and maybe other states have an equivalent to it, but it's called the Birth to Three program. And it's not just for autism, but it's also therapies for any sort of special needs, physical therapy, speech therapy, ECE. I have two therapists come to my house every single week, Monday and Friday, for one of my twins. And it's like a really incredible program and there are lots of resources. And they also help with the cost.

You know, if your insurance doesn't cover some of the cost of it and things like that. And so I'm just saying this for because we're having the conversation about autism or special needs, Delaware is a great place to be for that. I was told actually over the weekend by another friend of mine who also has a classroom for children with autism. I'm not sure if it's special needs or if it's solely autism because we do have a lot of resources for autism. She was telling me that it's the process of getting getting to your point, the process of getting diagnosed with autism is actually really long. And I think she said that you typically get diagnosed around like three or four, like I think she said four actually is like pretty

common and typical. But I don't know much about, you know, getting diagnosed as an adult, but I would guess that if the process is really long for a child and typically it's around four, I would guess that as an adult, it would be probably even a longer process because you have to factor in, you know, traumas, life, everything else on top. Because I think you can develop some personality disorders from trauma and things like that. So I think there would be, if I had to guess, obviously I'm not a doctor. There's personality disorder and then being on the spectrum. Two different things. Those are two totally different things. And autism-

To differentiate the two and to like dissect and try to navigate all of the things when you're an adult, I was going to say when you're a human being, when you're an adult. I was gonna say when you're a human being, when you're an adult, I would guess that being diagnosed with autism might be a harder process as an adult. And so to say you went to one therapy session, you were diagnosed, I had to Google what she looked like.

I don't know if I've ever seen her before. Okay, well, so after she did this initial podcast episode, she then comes out with a second episode and started this episode by saying, and I quote, okay, I'm just taking it all in and hearing everyone out. And you know, at the end of the day, I feel really horrible. I feel beat down. I think people have to understand. I spoke about it literally 15 minutes from a two hour therapy session.

And I realized now that I spoke too soon I should not have shared what my therapist said. She continued. I just feel horrible It's not like you know, I was talking to Teddy. I didn't intend to share it with anybody in that moment I hadn't even told Eddie Sophia or anything like that. So I just feel horrible about it. I the fact that She said that she had a two hour therapy session and was diagnosed on the spectrum, had not shared with her child or her husband, but then went on to a

podcast allegedly 15 minutes after having this therapy session session and shared with the world that the reason that she has poor behavior and has no empathy is because she's on the spectrum. Like, this pisses me the fuck off. Will her apology that to say any of she's not even saying like, she didn't even say anything about being wrong. She's literally justifying and basically standing ten toes down on the fact that she was diagnosed with autism in a two-hour therapy session. She also said that she wanted to clarify that she was not saying that people with autism

do not have empathy. That's not what she was saying. She was questioning her own empathy with her therapist because she has heard people say to her, you don't have empathy, how can you not have empathy? So I'm asking, do I not have empathy? I feel like I do. There was a lot of information that I had processed in my head that would have been better off if I had not said anything. And now I'm not gonna say anything. No, you absolutely should not be talking about diagnosis

that other people's children or other people as adults might be diagnosed on the spectrum and you going out here lying thinking you're not going to get caught saying a therapist diagnosed you with something a therapist isn't diagnosing you with autism. I don't know of any therapist and I agree with that mom that therapist license should be revoked. But how do they even prove she I guarantee you nobody maybe they suggested or maybe she asked and the therapist said that she couldn't hear she couldn't confirm or deny her that she'd have to go through testing but it's possible that's not the same as

being diagnosed. I think she completely misspoke and if I had to guess and we're assuming, which we know what assuming does, makes an ass out of you and me, I'm going to assume that possibly the therapist said that she needed to be tested, have further testing because she has signs of possible being on the spectrum. My therapist would not say that. My therapist would absolutely not say that. Even in moments where I have lacked empathy, my therapist has never said that to me.

My therapist would never say that. If my therapist thought that I needed to go get testing from a psychologist, I would be referred to a psychologist and that psychologist would test me for whatever they feel like they needed to test me for. My therapist is a psychologist and she's never, like I am just sort of dumbfounded. I don't even have any other words. I think that she needs to take a social media break and she needs to go do some self-reflecting. I absolutely wholeheartedly agree and just wanted to let you know I'm pissed off and I'm going to remain pissed off.

Okay, well let's see if she comes back to the world with a better apology, maybe a PR one later on. And completely other news, I saw this morning, former Abercrombie CEO arrested in sex trafficking investigation. Excuse me? It makes me feel bad for wearing any of those like camis, jeans, like all the things. It says that former Abercrombie and Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries, his partner Matt Smith, and a third man Jim Jacobson were arrested Tuesday as part of a criminal sex trafficking

investigation by the FBI and federal prosecutors in Brooklyn. It says that the investigation involved whether the men sexually exploited or abused young men at parties hosted in the United States and around the world. Federal prosecutors acknowledged the investigation in January after alleged victim filed civil lawsuits a year ago. This man allegedly transformed Abercrombie from a traditional Ohio outfitter into a powerhouse teen fashion brand and has been accused in civil lawsuits of exploiting young men for sex at parties that he hosted at his Hamptons estate in New York, London, Venice and elsewhere with his partner, Matt Smith.

Then it says the third man that was arrested says that the victims said that they were actually recruited by Jim Jacobson, who was the middleman for them. So do you think this has anything to do with Diddy? And I only ask that because I feel like all the things that are going all the way back to Epstein and then Harvey Weinstein and then now this and P Diddy, are all of them connected? I don't even have, and then, I don't know if you saw this, but there was also a connection allegedly to Jose Menendez was working with Clive Davis, who was P Diddy's mentor. And allegedly, Jose Menendez also sexually assaulted Menudo members. So like, are all of these people and all of this connected? Or do we think that it's not

related and just a coincidence? I just wonder if we could ever find out if these people were connected in life or cross paths in any way. Because I think you and I need to start making a pin board in our office like they do on Law and Order. And it's like, okay, well, these people were at the same place at this time at this party. Which is scarier, if they'reier connected or if they are connected? I don't know. But my gut instinct says to some degree, yes. No, no, no, I'm saying which is worse if they're connected or if

they're not. Which one do you think is worse? Well, I think the end results the same, right? But end results the same. It's wrong. And why the fuck are you out here doing it? But if they are connected, I believe a lot of people are connected to that diddy shit. Like a lot of people. And if there are some people that I see on the list that come out to be confirmed, the way that I'm scrubbing my Spotify. I mean, also same.

Like are we all as Coffee Combo's kitties, are we all collectively dropping anyone affiliated or associated with confirmed members of the Diddy, Abercrombie & Fitch, and any other sort of sex ring or sex trafficking? We're all going to unite and drop anybody that we follow on Spotify, Amazon, wherever we get our stuff. I wholeheartedly agree. That's like a canceling that I could get behind. It all needs to be canceled, but I just feel like when you're talking about what scares me about this and what I think could possibly be a connection

is this is in New York and from what I have read, there's been a lot of stuff regarding Diddy in New York. So that scares me a little bit. Also, it says in this lawsuit that these men were luring attractive young men under the guise of making them Abercrombie models and then forcing them to take drugs and then performing sexual acts. It seems a little similar. That sounds entirely too similar to me. I know. I know. Supposedly the indictment is sealed. So I don't know what's in the indictment. I wasn't able to find it. But I'm going to read the entire indictment and see what's in there. But I would not be surprised if this was connected and also connected to Epstein.

I'm sick over this. There are so many willing participants in the sex world that you do not have to do this. We need to talk about Stitch Fix because it's getting colder here. I don't know what the weather is like in Georgia, but here it is 60 degrees. It's actually under 60 degrees and we're about to go to soccer practice. Thankfully, we have Stitch Fix, so they do the hard work. They take the leg work out of shopping for seven kids away from me, and they kind of take control. I absolutely love Stitch Fix.

I also love it. It went from roughly 90 degrees to they kind of take control. I absolutely love Stitch Fix. I also love it. It went from roughly 90 degrees to 55 as of this morning. I personally feel like shopping and just figuring out style can be super overwhelming. But when it comes to getting dressed and you don't know where to start, that's where you're going to love Stitch Fix Stylists. They're going to figure out what really works for you

and get you pieces that make you look great and feel really confident. All you have to do is just give your stylist your size, your style and your budget preferences, and then you can order boxes when you want, how you want to, no subscription required. And then your stylist is going to send gist for you pieces plus outfit recommendations and styling tips

Which can be super helpful if you struggle in that area and if you don't love something you can send it back It's so easy. So no stores no crowds. No stress Just personalized looks that you're going to love stitch fix makes it so easy Personal styling for everyone get started today today at stitchfix.com slash coffee combos. That's stitchfix.com slash coffee combos. I saw a TikTok, maybe it was last night. There was this girl that was talking about Diddy and all of the things and all of the people,

possible connection and so on and so forth. And it said, just because these people are so powerful, so successful, so intertwined, does not mean that all of these people would not do this stuff. I think it's really hard for the average person to think, somebody that's like the average person that is like, wow, like I want to maintain my success. And I want to live like a happy good life.

And I, I don't want to be involved like in any of the stupid shit. I think it's really hard for people who have brains like that to comprehend the complexity of situations like Diddy and all of the people that are connected. I agree. I agree with you. It's just like beyond our comprehension.

So we have a hard time with it. Do we think, last question that I'm going to ask about this and then we can move on to a listener topic. Do we think that Diddy had anything to do with Brittany Murphy's death? So I'm I don't from what I understand, because I don't know if I ever said it on this podcast. I think I've talked about it before. But Brittany Murphy's dad used to message me all the time. And we used to have conversations. Yeah, this was like, I don't know. I think he was truly grieving the loss of his daughter, which I know that there was some controversy surrounding him in general because of the relationship that

he did or didn't have with his, with Brittany. And then when she passed away and there was some weird stuff with the mom and her and Brittany's husband and possibly, you know, controversy surrounding that. I don't know what the ins and outs are anymore. But I think at one point went down a rabbit hole. And he used to talk to me about the loss of his daughter. But recently, like within the last month or so, I learned that rat poison or something was found in the autopsy for Brittany and her husband. And I didn't realize I thought it was there was like mystery surrounding the death or questions surrounding the death, the deaths, because there was both of them. Was it the mom and Brittany? No, it was the husband and Brittany.

Yeah, it was the husband and Brittany. Yeah, that there was poison found in their systems. And so I don't know. Was there a connection to Brittany and Diddy? Is there is is there a relationship or a connection? That's publicly known. I don't know what the connection is but allegedly there is publicly known connection to the husband I think and it's weird because Diddy's Baby mama was I think it was on her death certificate that she passed away from

pneumonia. Yep. And I believe that was on Brittany's and her husband's as well. Yes. So like how are all these people out here dying of pneumonia? Like these older people. It was confirmed, well, allegedly confirmed or there's a trial or something surrounding him actually putting

the hit out on Tupac. So I think that it's very possible that they could be connected. I would just be curious to know what the connection is between him and Brittany. I would like to know more about that if there are any theories. So like, can any of you kiddies start helping me put, remember how we used to have to do timelines and like history? Yes, like a full like, like a full blown like timeline. Is there anybody that's like verse enough to get us started on this timeline? And how far are we going back?

Like are we going back to like, the beginning of his public time, I think that's where we would start. Yeah. Oh shit, we're gonna unravel a bunch of shit. I have so many questions. Are you in this project with me or you're not in this project? I don't know. I feel like you and I should take an entire weekend to stick together. We'll get an Airbnb or we'll get a hotel, order some room service, and we'll put together

this whole scrolling timeline of all the things because they do think that we could solve any crime by dinner time. I really do. I really think that we could too. So let me know when that's going to happen. I'll get the poster boards. You bring the glue sticks. Okay. And nobody better fix us on that weekend. Nobody call. Alexa's like, I can't take any more random trips. You're done. Okay.

So we only have time to get to one listener topic. This one is very interesting to me. Want to know how you feel. Already read it. Okay. His mom says, I got a call from my daughter's school today telling me that she touched another boy in his private area. She is seven and I never would have thought that she would do this. When her teacher talked to me, she said it was very unlike her as well and she would be surprised

that it was her. We have had conversations about not touching other people's bodies. She seems to struggle to understand why it's not okay. Does anyone have any kind of advice on how to approach this with her in an age appropriate way? I feel so distraught. I mean, my kids are not touching other people in their private parts, but my kids do struggle with personal space, even with each other. And I constantly just remind them to respect other people's personal space. And if they tell you that they are uncomfortable, they don't want you to touch them, you also need to just stress the importance of asking before hugging, asking before touching. Is there a way? I don't know. I don't want

to give bad advice, but I tell Creed all the time and Lux specifically, specifically them too because of their ages. But I'm like, Lux, if Creed does not want you to touch him, you need to ask him, you need to back up, you need to give him a space and just sort of being firm about it because I feel like sometimes they don't listen or they don't fully understand it, but just explain, I don't know. I don't know. This one's a tough one. I mean, I can only speak off of the time that I started teaching Jackson about personal space and consent and private areas. I mean, from the, I have to think back, but from the time that he started potty training, which would have been some time around too, he knew like you're not supposed to go in the bathroom with other people, like no one's supposed to see your privates, no

one's ever supposed to touch your privates. Only person that's ever supposed to touch your privates is you. And if you're at the doctor's office with like mom or dad in the room, in those situations outside of that, if that ever happens, then you need to tell us immediately. So he's always been very good about respecting private space when it comes to like other people using the bathroom, or I know that you said that your kids will just straight up walk in on you. I was like that as a kid. Like all of my parents get

I would walk in my parents taking a shit, you know, it's like whatever. I haven't raised Jackson that way. But I don't think it's wrong. One way isn't wrong. And one way is not right. I think that there are struggles with with both scenarios, right? Yeah. Jackson's definitely one where he will knock on my door and say, Hey, mom, do you have on clothes? So I think that you have to start at a really young age at this point. It's like redirecting, I guess, because it may be that the understanding is not there at seven. But I think explaining to your child that private areas are only for you and like no one else.

I would say that seven is, I mean, at that point they should, depending on the maturity of the child. I also think I just thought of it while you were kind of talking. Could this parent maybe demonstrate with another person without necessarily saying, here, watch this, but maybe set up a situation where if you don't have a partner, maybe you do, I don't know, or a parent or a sibling or a sister, a friend, and you're just kind of in front of the child regularly saying, hey, like you're, you're a little bit too close to me. Do you mind backing up sort of demonstrating some examples of it without making it so here, watch this,

this is how you need to do it. Because I think a lot of times it gets lost in the sauce. But if you just do it in a way that you know the child is present and will see it and you sort of act it out in that way, would that be helpful maybe? Or at the point that you're sort of distraught and maybe try play therapy could also be a really good option. It might be helpful to come from a neutral party that is through play therapy could also be a really good option. It might be helpful to come from a neutral party that is through play therapy. I don't know a whole lot about it because I will say Delaware is not great with play therapy, but that I know of.

Play therapy was great for us. Yeah. See, I did find a couple options because I think it would be good for just to have the resources available if my kids need them, but potentially try and play therapy because it might actually do some good if your child hears it from a therapist or someone else that they trust other than the parent. I know that sucks and you don't want to hear that, but it is possible. Also, I don't know if there are any type of books. I was doing an interview on the Southern Tea yesterday and I was talking about children's books and how I always have referred to children's

books and any type of issue that has transpired through my motherhood. It's like, oh, losing a tooth, got a book. Learning how to poop on the potty, got a book. Your periods. You know? Maybe trying to find a book, that's the best advice I could give. And the last thing that I have to say is on local 11 Alive News here in Atlanta, Wawa announces opening date for first store in Georgia. Period, because he will try to fuck you in the Wawa parking lot on Tuesday. Goodbye. I can't wait to try Wawa. Oh my God, no.

Please wait for me so I can take you. Yeah, I'll wait for you. Period. But bitch, you better be coming soon. That'll be the weekend that we do the P Diddy timeline. Perfect. That'll be absolutely perfect. I'm about to get my Amazon order ready to get all Diddy timeline. Perfect. That'll be that'll be absolutely perfect. I'm about to get my Amazon order

ready to get all of our supplies. And on that note, foul play. Hey, kiddies, I absolutely love you guys and all your podcasts. They get me through the week every week. My favorite part of every episode of Coffee Combos is always foul play. So I knew I had to send this one in. A few years ago, my boyfriend at the time and I were having a sleepover. We were doing the deed, doggie style, and heiress getting pushed in. I can feel it the whole time,

and I'm worrying with every thrust. A queef is gonna come out, so I can't even concentrate anymore. We finally finish, and I immediately just lay flat on my stomach and cleanse my legs together to avoid queefing. We were still newly dating, and I didn't wanna embarrass myself like that just yet. Well, anyway, he sits down next to me and grabs a handful of my ass and

in doing so it released the loudest queef known to womankind and I wanted to die. Luckily, somehow he just laughed. We laughed so hard for so long. I wasn't embarrassed anymore. Thank God. Fast forward a few years later and we're married now and we both just expect the queef if we do dog each. We've just accepted that it's a part of our lives now. PS does this happen to everyone during doggy? Like in my best gypsy rose voice? Wait, what? The D is fire. The D is fire. Definitely not small and always getting filled with plenty of dick, but somehow air too. Why? I mean, that's a great question. And I would love to answer that, but I don't

have the answer. I think it's just like the aerodynamics of the situation. I think it's just like the way that it goes in, that there's more possibility for air. Remember that time that I told you, I told someone that that wouldn't happen if they were filming me with Dick, not air, and then I didn't get talked to for like two days. Yeah, I just but the aerodynamics, aerodynamics and aerodynamics, I've never heard

of aerodynamics in sex like what I feel like it's just like that. Like it's hard to explain, but I think it's just like the position that you're in the way that it's going in. that you're in, the way that it's going in, you know, there's a lot of exposure for your like Vigene and your asshole. You know, I feel like it's possible like pulling out more and like, it's like this more, you know? Yeah. So that's why I think the queefs are happening. Remember that time that you made Bone queef on command was a bone or was it her sister? Probably it was bone Yeah, I saw bone on Saturday. She came to Lexus soccer game. I'll ask her if she could still do it I'm sure she can she's

queef-tastic. Oh My god Okay, the next person says hi. I've been dying to submit a foul play to y'all forever But I've been waiting for the perfect one. So long story short, I was having an affair with a married coworker while I was in a long term relationship with my own. I mean, not like, you know, just coming on here and out your goddamn self. Over the course of our extramarital affair meetups, he finally convinced me to try anal after I resisted so much due to a previous bad experience when I was a teenager.

I think we've all kind of had like that bad experience when you were a teenager and then you've never let it happen again. Have you? Yeah, I'm not ready to tell that story yet, but I will one day. Okay. Well, I'm going to be the person you're telling it to, right? 100%. I will be on this podcast to you. Perfect. Okay. So she says, Anywho, I actually really like anal, but that's not the foul part. We were having a sleepover one night and decided to order some Chinese food, watch a movie, make out, have sex, do anal, all the things. Oh shit. Well, during our backdoor

fun, something happened. Something happened. I managed to shit all over his dick. He was really sweet about it and stop told me me to go shower, and was very loving through the whole thing. I made him swear that he would never speak of this moment ever again, but he's a super funny guy so I knew it would not be the last of me hearing about it. Well, this was about a year ago and we still see each other. He just told me maybe two weeks ago that when he went to the other restroom and started cleaning himself up while he showered that he found a chow mein noodle wrapped around his dick head after

He was lying. He was just clowning her. He was trolling her After my explosion on his cock naturally, I was mortified. But how can you not laugh? He's been calling me noodle instead of babe, baby love etc Ever since love the podcast been listening for years and love hearing your bullshit every week. Hopefully my bullshit made you laugh too. I didn't know that like chow mein came out like that. I thought it was only corn. No, so to Mandarin oranges, right? Wait, what? I think he's definitely trolling her. Like there's no way you found a noodle around your dick. Like there's no way. Can you shit out a chow mein noodle? And maybe if it doesn't digest, like if you have a stomach bug.

Okay. It says, okay, well, I'm not really getting information, but can anyone tell me if you've ever shit out a chow mein noodle? Because it might've been an intestinal parasite. I don't have time for this. I do not have time for this. An intestinal parasite is crazy. I don't think, I think he's just trolling her. Like she can rest assured she didn't shit out a full noodle. I'm dead. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app. Follow and read on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community.

Full video episodes are now available on Kiehl's Patreon. To join, visit www.patreon.com slash KiehlLowry. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pluto TV is a place for movie fans like me. And TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone and it's free. I love free and I love Jersey Shore. For me it's the Godfather. SpongeBob SquarePants, I am Patrick. Patrick is me. Oh, Forrest Gump, come on.

Criminal Minds, solving crime after bedtime. Whatever you love to watch, Pluto TV makes it easy with thousands of free movies and shows. Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.