Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Baby Reindeer, Step Parent Dynamics & Kid's Sport Pressures

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

CC347: Lindsie and Kail watched the Netflix series Baby Reindeer and give their thoughts on it. Kristin Cavallari says she would have another kid with current boyfriend which starts the conversation around step parenting dynamics and what the ideal situation would be for the kids. Comments made by a golf champion resonates with Kail when it comes to pressures on kids in sports. And speaking of pressures, Lindsie and Kail stand firm in the "strict parents create sneaky kids" argument after they notice some differences in their own children. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsors! Apartments: Visit Apartments.com, a place to find a place Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month The Farmer’s Dog: Get 50% off your first box, plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/coffeeconvos Rocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family

and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Hey guys, welcome to Alani combos. I mean, coffee combos. Alani is just talking to me and Alani as we speak. He's walking up with me. So good morning, fam. What's going on? Thank you so much.

You're welcome. I don't care how many rats they find in these, I'm still going to drink one. Me either. And I have another Breezeberry and absolutely love it. Keeps me alive. Probably going to need multiple of these today based off of my weekly activities. Actually I have a bone to pick with Elani. I have a bone to pick with everybody and Elani.

So you know how there's like that de-influencing trend or like the trend of, it everybody and a bunny. Okay, so you know how there's like that influencing trend or like the the trend of it's not a trend, it is but it's not. So creators are getting on like, tick tock and Instagram and saying that like people are not properly disclosing their ads. And that has been something that Kristin has always been on me, right? Like she's always like, you have to do even when I'm like, I really don't like it's not going to perform. And she's like, kill you have to. And I do it.

Somebody commented and said that we are not disclosing that we're sponsored by Alani. And we absolutely are not sponsored by Alani. The amount of times that we reached out to be sponsored by Alani and we're turned down. Listen, I still love them. I'm still gonna ride with them. but honestly, it's just. I have a love hate relationship with them now. It's appalling because we put them on so hard. Oh my God, we, yeah.

And it's just upsetting. Second thing I'm gonna say to those statements that you made, I only post any type of advertising at this point if I believe in something because I'm past that point. So that's just it. Well, just one more note from me on that topic is I don't do like ads really anymore. I don't want to say I don't do them at all, but I down so much. And I'm not, I told Kristin, like, we're choosing quality over quantity.

And I'm not going to do an ad, just because I'm being paid for it. I'm not putting something out there that, oh, it's a paycheck for me. And I'm going to do it even, even though it's disclosed as an ad. It's just not for me. And I just don't want that type of relationship with my audience where like, I'm selling everything that I have, like, yeah, I'm linking things because people ask for those, but that's not like a paid ad situation. And so I love that I've slowed down and I love that I only am doing things that I actually use. So I just wanted to say that. I have the exact same mentality. Don't post anything or just like

turn down a brand deal if it just doesn't align or if it's something that I would never use even if it's something in if it's something that my audience might use but I'm not using it why am I posting about it I don't know you know and to each their own like I know there's a lot of creators out there that I feel like they post absolutely everything that comes their way. And that's their prerogative, just not mine. Also, I do link outfits of things that I actually do have. And I have two of the cutest outfits that I just ordered from Amazon that I'm gonna have to send you a link for because they are so cute. And I am a slippers queen. And I just ordered these new slippers off of Amazon

and they're so fucking cute. I love slippers. That's one thing I do need more of because I don't like the feeling. I love to be barefoot, but I don't like to walk around barefoot in my house because dogs and everything. But we need to talk about baby reindeer. Okay? Okay. Kristin had me watching baby reindeer. She's like, I have to have you watch this. We were in Alabama, couldn't get through it all because I was there for such a short time.

But the most insane thing I've ever seen in my entire life and specifically the end. So right, like it's seven episodes. For those of you guys who have not seen it or it's on your like to be watched list, I was blown away speechless, could not come up with the words needed to fully... I'm still speechless, clearly, but the ending where Donnie is sitting at the bar and there's a new bartender

and Donnie forgets his wallet. I don't know if you caught on to this. That is exactly how episode one starts with Martha. She doesn't have the money, she can't afford the tea or whatever he gives her. And so this, and I think that I recognize that immediately because I have been in a situation where essentially the abused becomes the abuser. That's what I interpreted for the whole scenario

was that Donnie, he was abused and he becomes the abuser is what I took Do you think that that was like some foreshadowing that he took on some of like Martha's? Personality traits and things that she did as his own. Yes, and I also feel that a lot of the Cycle that is played out over the course of these seven episodes is you know there's a part where he talks about, he began to miss her and he is, um, masturbating to her and things like that are things that I saw happening in my own real life. Not that I was masturbating to somebody,

but just the things that I was starting to do to perpetuate the cycle. And this may be controversial, but I do not believe that that is fair to place the blame on Donnie when he was being abused. So those things naturally came from the abuse. It wasn't something that he was like, oh, I'm gonna do these acts. And I think that at some point

in the essentially brainwashing, you can't control those impulses anymore. Those are things that you start to do by accident and it isn't until you're completely the fuck out of it that you realize, oh my God, those were things that I started to do. I didn't realize that it was perpetuating the violence or the obsession or whatever it is. Okay. So back all the way up, I was at home maybe like two weekends ago and I texted Kristen

and I was like, you have to watch this baby reindeer show. So she was like, oh, Cory and I are about to start watching it. So then she started watching it, actually ended up finishing it before I did, but then I finished it like in an entire weekend because it's one of those shows that you start watching and it is so twisted that you feel like you can't stop watching it until you finish it because you wanna know how it ends. I would just encourage you if you don't want to be

in like an emotional state, probably don't watch it because it made me feel very emotional for Dami. Also, if you're not open to truly understanding the cycle of abuse and toxic, toxic relationships where there is an abuser, because what Donnie went through was abuse. So if you're not open to understanding that, don't watch it because then you're just gonna judge

and be like, well, I wouldn't have done that. You know what I mean? And that's not worth it. We're watching this for perspective. We're not watching this to fucking judge. Okay. 100% agree with that. Do we think that Martha is just like a bad egg and has always been a bad egg

because Dami was not her only victim? No, I think that there was something cause we didn't, did they really into detail of about Martha and her childhood really? No, but they went into detail about the other victims. And the fact didn't she beat a child and do other weird stuff? She did a lot of weird stuff. But that's why I think that a lot of times we don't realize or let me think

of an example. So Bill Cosby, for example, right? He was committing these acts of violence, right? Or SA. There wasn't just one victim. There were multiple. And so I feel like for some people you were abused and then you become the abuser in one scenario, maybe two and then you're like, okay, wow, I'm going to get help. Right. And then there are people who are serial abusers who will never stop no matter how much how much help how much whatever and I think Martha was one of those people. I think that that's who she was. It wasn't because maybe it started because it happened to her but I think

that it became who she was versus it happening to her as an adult. And then it kind of spiraled before she got help kind of thing. I think that this is who she was. Where Donnie, I feel is more the opposite where it happened to him as an adult, he became the abused, the abused became the abuser and then he's able to get help is how I, is what I... But just think about the cycle that it put him through where it started with Martha. And then the abuse that he endured after that, that also caused him to question his sexuality. There were so many things that just stemmed from the actions that Martha was doing that put him in that state to become that level of vulnerable, I guess. When I was watching it, I was like, wait, how does this actually happen? But as I continued watching it, I was like, wait, I understand that. I understand

why he was feeding into that. I think he was acknowledging that it was a problem, right? Yeah. Well, that's what I mean. So that's exactly what I mean. Like he could acknowledge, but Martha can't. She can't. He was acknowledging it, but he was still cycling back around and allowing that in his life. In my opinion, it was almost like he felt lost without having that because he grew comfortable with that even though he was acknowledging to himself he was not comfortable with it. And I think that happens with scenarios that are even less severe than Baby Reindeer or same level, but different type of abuse. I think the same things can happen. I think that was how my situation was, was that I

kept cycling back and it felt like I was missing an entire person, an entire identity because I became a different person during this time. And so coming out of that and healing it, healing the new, I don't even know, like the new version of me and not necessarily, it wasn't necessarily a good version of me. You get what I mean? But I think not always do people heal. I feel like you have. But Martha is never going to heal. Right.

Someone like Martha is who she is. But what is this article that you have? Okay. So first of all, before I read this article, I just want to say you talking about all of your book stuff and how you love to read, I'm going to defend myself. Although I do not love reading, I do love reading articles on the internet. I would much rather do that and have a wide range of information about life and things that are going on than be stuck in a novel

of something could be based off of a true story, not saying that. Just saying it does not have interest to, I do not have any interest in that. Okay. That's good. Okay? Yeah. So that's why I am just so obsessed with reading articles. So that is my form of reading. So I see this People magazine article and it says, Baby Reindeer's real life stalker speaks out, says she's considering legal action for defamation. The woman who was in the Netflix show that it is based upon criticized her own screen depiction describing herself as the victim. Baby Reindeer's alleged real life stalker is sounding off on the hit Netflix show and she's

extremely unhappy with how she was portrayed in a recent interview conducted by the Daily Mail, which declined to identify her by the name. The woman weighed in on the show based on her experiences of the show's creators, writers, and her victim. 58-year woman from London portrayed on screen says that she has received death threats and abuse from her victims supporters. It says he is using baby reindeer to stalk me now. She said, arguing that he was bullying an older woman on television for fame and fortune. I am the victim. He's written a bloody show about me. The rep for him did not respond immediately to people and Netflix has also not responded. Of course she's reacting this way.

Of course. I feel like this is very typical reaction of someone that would be in her position, correct? Yes. Like I can't, that's almost, and now that I'm so far removed from something, not even of this nature, I can't even say that, but yeah, this is a typical like, no, I'm the victim. Like they're the narcissist, they're the abuser. They did it. They chose this.

You know what I mean? And I can't, good luck. I just imagine all of the uncoverings of things that we've seen, like what was the show called that we watched about the Nickelodeon children? Quiet On Set? Yeah, Quiet On Set, right? When things come to light and things are exposed, I feel like this is a typical reaction of somebody who is in the wrong.

Agreed. Because if they were, if it wasn't true, they wouldn't be able they wouldn't do it because there is a defamation suit there. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, I'm not gonna go to lengths to produce something like this, to then be like, well, I don't have anything to back it up. Because if you can prove that this person is telling a lie, that would be defamation. But nobody, you know what I mean? And also same thing for like my book.

I had to, it was better for me to have people sign off on things to allow the permission, even though it wasn't necessary because nobody wanted a lawsuit on their hands. So same situation for this is like, it's based on a true story. Well, can you back it up? If you can't back it up, maybe we shouldn't touch it.

I'm not saying that that doesn't happen. I'm not saying that, you know, Netflix wouldn't buy something like that, but I just, I, this is a typical reaction. I don't believe her. And also I never once was like, who was the actual comedian in this, you know, thing? And who was the actual stalker?

I'm not looking that stuff up. I don't care. So to say that this person's supporters are attacking her and stalking her, I feel like is also a stretch because nobody knows who she is. Imagine an app designed to make you use it less. Seems counterproductive.

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So you don't have to power through rental descriptions one by one. With more rental listings than anywhere else, Apartments.com's instant alerts means that you can spend less time online looking for the perfect place and more time doing you. Apartments.com, the place to find a place. I mean, I will say I would not be shocked if she was being stalked or attacked because you have people who are on the internet who will not leave one single stone unturned and will find out whoever it is. And it would only take probably looking into actual legal documents, I'm sure, which could

be found to find out who she actually is. It says in this article that although the details of the series were changed to shield people's identities, the woman said that she allegedly shared several similarities with the character, that they're both Scottish, both studied law, have a history of stalking and are more than 20 years older than him. They also look somewhat alike. She sort of looks like me after I put on four stone during lockdown, but I'm actually not unattractive.

It says there's also key differences too. While the season finale finally explains why Martha started calling Donnie baby reindeer, he resembled a stuffed toy reindeer Martha had and adored growing up. The woman said she's never owned a toy baby reindeer. I just don't really believe anything that comes out of her mouth,

because when I tell you when I was watching this and I saw the amount of messages that were sent to him and the way that they were sent absolutely fucking terrified me like that many emails. I would like to know what her medical diagnosis actually is slash was and if she's ever been diagnosed because to go to law school and have the type of not everyone can get through law school, right? And then to turn around and type things the way they were typed. So I just Googled who is Don, who is Donnie's actual stalker. And it says who the actual comedian is about, which is Richard Gadd, but it doesn't say who the actual stalker is. So and I wouldn't normally Google something like that. So I just Yes, I agree

with you that people could possibly be turning over every stone, but you're just as fucking weird as Martha then. Yeah. Based on a true story or inspired by a true story does not mean that the details down to the fucking baby stuffed reindeer. That doesn't mean that they're identical, right? Like, All American was inspired by a true story, right? That doesn't mean that all the fucking details are the truth. Although, I wish if, if people are making shows and movies based off of a true story, I would wish that those details, like a baby stuff reindeer,

that would be a question that I would have from watching that, like where did that actually come from and wanna know the actual truth of why he was called that, right? Maybe in real life it was a baby fucking giraffe. Like, are you kidding me? Correct, correct.

It could have been a different stuffed animal, right? But it's just very wild to me. Almost makes me feel like Martha is, oh shit, I'm pushed against a wall now. And everybody knows everything that I fucking done. And now I want to try to capitalize off of this. I mean, we've also got to remember that she went to law school. So not shocking that she would try to figure out how to file a defamation. I need to interview the actual stalker. We could do, it could be like the voice changer. It can be via email. I just, I need to get inside her head a little bit because I just, she's, she has me perplexed last thing I'm gonna say on this is that

Donnie says that she sent him 41,000 emails 350 hours of voicemails 744 tweets and 46 Facebook messages and a hundred and six pages of letters like this bitch had nothing but time on her hands. Not the tweets, not the tweets. Like why is she out here tweeting? Like when we were tweeting everything, just like everything that happened,

every thought in our mind. You know what else is crazy to me? That Kristin Cavallari is also considering a baby with her new boyfriend. Wait, tell me the details because I don't know anything about this. Okay. So if you didn't know, she's 37.

So she is a little bit older than us and she's with her 24 year old boyfriend as we know from the Montana Boys. And she basically says on her podcast that she has already contemplated the prospect of having children. Okay. So she says that she has, if you guys don't know, she has three kids with Jay Cutler, who's a professional NFL player,

11 year old, nine year old, an eight year old. And if he ends up being, quote, if he ends up really being the one, I would have a kid. It's become pretty serious, this relationship I would say. And she's laughing, she says, quote, if I had another kid, obviously it would be the last. I wouldn't want to rob him of that. He should have kids in his life. It's only been a couple of months. But when you know, you know. So I thought that was interesting. I also would be

interested to know how she's handling all of the backlash that he's getting in the press about some stuff. Okay. I've also seen all of that. Don't really know a ton of details about it enough to speak on it. But this is something that I have very much struggled with. that, don't really know a ton of details about it enough to speak on it, but this is something that I have very much struggled with and I don't wanna say that if you have been married before and had children with someone else, that you should not have a right to move on, become happy and have a child with somebody else.

But it is a thought that I have very much struggled with, okay, in her situation. She has three children with J.Color. I don't know what their custody situation is, but then she's with whatever his name is. I don't even know his name. Montana Boy. He is one of the Montana Boys, okay?

He is the main Montana Boy. She let's just say hypothetically, she gets married to him and their desire is to have a child. I want to ask you this because you have multiple different situations, right? And then you got with hot neighbor and had three children. Do you feel like inevitably that the dynamic with the three children that you had with him with both biological parents in the house is different than the dynamic with the children that do not have both biological parents in the home. No.

You don't? Okay. We'll explain more because this is something I'm so interested in. So there are step parents who are and will always be just step parents. And for the step parents listening to this, don't take that the wrong way. Listen to what I'm about to say. There are step parents who will love their step children like their own. And then there are step parents who are very uninvolved, very hands off,

and they're step parents. That's all they ever will be. One of my children talks to me about their stepmom, for lack of better words, and has blatantly told me that that will never be a third parent for him. That is just who she is and that's it. And then you have, I have another child who told me that he tells people Elijah is his father. That is very, very interesting to me.

I feel like when you're in a situation like Kristin Cavallari, you're bringing three children to the table and you're entertaining the idea of having another child. I think that is the parent's responsibility that's bringing these other children with them to the table to identify, okay, is this going... And I also hate the word step-parent. I hate that. But sometimes that's what it is.

I feel like this situation specifically, the only thing that... I truly don't even know his name. So boyfriend, Montana boy, will only ever be a stepfather, not even a stepfather, a stepdad, my mom's husband to the other children. And I say that because they're so much older, right? Where, you know, when they're the younger they are, the more likely there may be more hands on or there may, may be more involved or there might be some, some level of involvement. I think that that also plays a part. And obviously there are, this isn't the case for every single family, right? But I'm speaking from my own

experience is like, I've been with someone where my kids were never gonna call them, we're never gonna call this man, their stepdad, like they were never gonna do that. And they just knew mom's boyfriend, right? Like that's mom's boyfriend. That's not someone that we would ever go to for any type of thing, right? Alash and I are not married, but my kids, that's their stepdad. To some, that's their father. One of my kids literally called him dad, realized that he called him dad, and then continued to call him dad. And so there's those types of relationships, and then there's not. And I think that this

situation, especially when they're so close in age, I just don't, I don't know. It seems a little weird to me, especially because if it's only been a couple months and then they don't have kids for a few years, that's never going to be a family, it can never be close to biological parents. It's going to be a decent divide because those children are so much older and then they would have a baby, right? So inevitably, that's just going to be what that situation is. Right. Back to the point of one of your kids calling Elijah dad, I'm a big believer and it's

taken me a decent amount of therapy to get to this point because I am in a divorce situation and there is a possibility of Jackson having a step mom would prefer the word bonus mom. I just think it sounds better and it's not like as harsh as step parents. Or people need to keep step mom. And that's perfectly fine. I would hope the situation would be a bonus mom, not a step mom, right? As hard as it is for me to say this, that would be another mother figure in his life. And I don't think that that takes away from me being

the mom that I am to him by somebody else also stepping up to the plate. That's taken a lot of therapy for me to get there. Agreed. It's also taken me a long time, a very long time. I just want, I would agree with you when you say like, we prefer bonus moms, we prefer a third parent, but sometimes men or women, they're just not gonna be that.

And no matter how much they love your child, they're never gonna recognize them as like, they're never gonna be in a situation where they refer. You know what it is when a step parent, bonus parent, if they, and again, controversial, if they have to specify my stepdaughter, my stepson, I don't like that. Like, I was just thinking about this when I was in a public bathroom the other day, this woman had multiple children in this bathroom. And I said, Oh my goodness, they're all of those yours because like I was waiting to go into the stall. And she

said, Well, two of them are and then two of them are my step kids. Why? Why? Why did we have to identify that? Like, they're all yours? Why? And I would never like I would, I would absolutely never if I was with a man with children. I would just say yes, they're Ours. Yeah, exactly. And you know, see if their nieces or nephews different story No, you know to our nieces to our net whatever agreed. I agree like for strangers for all intents and purposes Yes, they're all mine. They're ours, you know like how would that make you feel if

Elijah was out somewhere and had all of your children, which would be a damn zoo, which let's say he has all of them. And someone said are all of these yours. And he said the three were his without bothering us. That would bother me as well. Like you why do you need to know these are my girlfriends? Like you shouldn't you shouldn't be signing up as an adult for a situation with children involved for children you're not willing to claim also as your own. I really think this is going to be a hot take and I cannot wait to see the reaction to this because it would bother me if either one of my,

any of the situations, like if they were all out with, only one is married, but if any of them were out and they were like, no, that's my, these are my stepkids. Oh, these are my boyfriend's kids. Like that would bother me. Yeah, like I just don't understand why. And also you've got to consider, you know, when I asked this woman this,

because it was like a slew of kids in the bathroom. And I was just having like a, you know, like small talk conversation waiting for the stall. I just thought about how those children felt being divided when they heard that, you know, because that naturally creates a divide when you identify that. I agree.

I 1000% agree with that. And that is when I asked my kids here, you know, because it is still it's still processing to me that you know, like Lux and Creed, they have six brothers or something looks actually all of them. That's such a no girls. There's only two girls, right. And so I make sure that they also when they're I'm like, Oh, like, and how many brothers do you have? And how many sisters because it's we still do that. They include their other siblings because

that there's no divide just because I'm not their mom just because they're still they are still your siblings and they will be raised as your full siblings no matter how much or little you see them. It should be united right? For the there is no need to create a divide and I'm not I don't want people to think that I would be okay with somebody just coming in my situation and acting and playing dad or playing mom. But like after a certain amount of time, if the other parent has identified,

okay, this person is here to stay, please claim my child is your own. And please don't sign up for this situation if you're not willing to. Agreed. I want, and it again took a lot of therapy to get here. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. We've talked a lot about therapy these past several episodes. And so we're just here to remind you that BetterHelp is a great option

if you're thinking about giving therapy a try. BetterHelp is the best option because it's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. And all you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. I feel like therapy truly is a safe place

just to get things off your chest and figure out how to work through whatever's weighing you down. That's what I personally use therapy for. And I know a lot of people are a little bit hesitant to start their therapy journey because you might not feel like you've experienced enough major trauma, but it helps so much just learning positive coping skills, how to be a better boundary setter, and it just truly empowers you to be the best version of yourself. Kayl, I know that you've been in therapy for a really long time, longer than I have,

and I would love to know what you feel like you've learned most from in therapy. Well, I've learned that most of the feelings that I feel anxious about when it comes to other people and their feelings or, you know, things of that nature is other people's feelings and opinions have nothing to do with me. So I need to just take things at face value and keep it moving. And I don't need to stress out about how other people feel about certain things because that's not on me. So if you guys are thinking about giving therapy a try, like us, get it off your chest with BetterHelp, visit betterhelp.com slash coffee today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash coffee.

We have a listener that wrote in and asked, how do you guys deal with cleaning and decluttering? I struggle to do either. I get overwhelmed so fast and desperately need to declutter. And I really wanted to get to this one because I'm about to be going through my house and getting rid of a lot of shit that I do not need. We've talked about me holding on to things that I don't necessarily need to hold onto with the idea of I might use it in the future, but like I never even used it in the first place,

but I still have it, right? Okay, actually I have one prime example, an air fryer. Okay, no one come after me if you are an avid air fryer user by me saying this. Okay. I used it one time. I burnt popcorn shrimp in it and never got it back out. I was like, fuck this. I'm just going to use a pan and my oven because I know how to use that. Well, ma'am, why have I still held on to this air fryer and taking up cabinet space for something that I'm not going to use. But I struggle with, oh, well, what if like I might want to use it one day and then I have to repurchase it? Why are we the same person when it comes to an air fryer? And

I'm gonna tell you why I put chicken nuggets in at one time hated the way they tasted tastes like cardboard. I didn't love it. Never use it again. And it's in the cabinet above my refrigerator. Why I'm never going to use it again. I'm never going to use it again. So then above my refrigerator, why? I'm never gonna use it again. I'm never gonna use it again. So then why do we keep it? One time, I might need it. Is it the same mentality? I don't know.

Like one time I might need it or I might get something that, you know, I might see this recipe on like TikTok that I potentially would need my air fryer for that I've only used one time in two years. So I'm just gonna save it. No, I have always heard the rule of thumb for a closet is to turn your hangers backwards with items that

like you go through your closet. If these are items that you're considering giving away, but you have a hard time letting go of them, turn the hanger backwards. If the hanger is still that way in six months, then you get rid of it. I actually love that. I'm also really bad about the decluttering because a lot of times as long as it's out of sight, it's out of mind for me.

So if it's very cluttered all the time, like I have no storage in my office here at home. If I can shove it in her drawer or something, I still have it. So I don't necessarily consider that decluttering, right? Like I'm just like getting it out of mind. I usually like a visible cluttered mess I can deal with for a couple of days, maybe two or three days, but by like the third day, I'm like, okay, I

cannot take this anymore. And again, more than likely shoving things in closets and drawers and I am actually decluttering. But if anyone has tips or advice, I'm also open to these. So I'm about to go through, I think where I'm gonna start is my kitchen because I do feel like that's the easiest place for me to start. I am very much a minimalist when it comes to

like the amount of plates that I have, like the amount of forks and knives. Like I don't have multiple sets of shit in there that are just all combined together. And I, I did when I was married. But then will took all of that stuff. And I went to Target and bought all the pretty shit that I wanted. Okay. So I only got one set. And people have regularly asked me, Hey, Lindsay, if you lose a fork, what are you gonna do? Because you only have

four in here? Yeah, I will take a picture six or eight. It's like you got the four piece. Yes, ma'am. Why do I need six or eight? Because if I have not washed the stuff in that amount of time, that just means I'm a lazy fuck. Okay. And there's only two of us in here. I mean, I Yeah. You know, so if I'm running my dishwasher, roughly like every other day, there's no fork issue and we don't eat at home. But I will tell you one thing that I'm going to do is go through this kitchen. I'm going to take pictures and stuff as I'm doing

this of all of the contrappments, if that's what you want to call them, things like I have rice makers that I've never made rice in. I have multiple things to make waffles that I've never made homemade waffles, okay? Multiple crock pots, air fryers, okay? I do not want to take that shit with me anywhere. So I'm'm just like I will take pictures of all the things that I am talking about and show you guys what type of little Clutterbug it's an organized clutter, but it's a clutter bug nonetheless I'm gonna start there on marketplace because I feel like marketplace I made like I talk these are brand new items, honey, like Brand I will give them away to anybody who's listening to this. Like y'all pay for shipping and I will send the shit to you. Fair enough. You know, fair

enough. Fair enough. Wait, is that not like a tick tock or something? Like a sound? It is. I think it is fair enough. Fair enough. I think it is. I think it is actually now that you say that. Okay. Well, while we're talking about things that we need in a kitchen, this is not something that I need in a kitchen, but it's something that I'm going to need very soon. And that is a grill. And I cannot wait to be able to use a grill. But I need advice on what grill to purchase and what is the easiest grill to use as a woman who does not know how to grill.

I can't give you advice on that because I bought Elijah a grill for his birthday last year and I thought it was like a pretty cool, like sweet fucking grill. I don't know anything about it. Don't know how to turn it on. It has like a temperature thing so that like you can monitor. I'm really weird about my chicken. So it has like all of that stuff, but I have,

and maybe I could post a link for it now that I think about it. I will show you guys what I got him, but I don't know anything about it. So I couldn't even tell you. Well, so on my little things like that I have tabs opened up, I have these grills and why please tell me why I clicked only on the grills that come with free assembly. Like not the value of the grill, right?

Or would it be the best one? I just clicked on the ones with free assembly. I mean, because I don't want to assemble the shit. You could also ask Will to probably assemble it. Oh, he definitely would assemble my grill, potentially ask him like, what is the best grill? Maybe you don't have. Well, here's the thing, though. That's why I'm asking women who listen to this podcast who grill,

because I think I think what a man would say and what they're preferred would be would be very different than what possibly a woman would choose to use. Like I remember growing up, Julie used to use a gas grill. I'm pretty sure for the longest time, we'll use just like a standard charcoal Weber. And if anyone tries to argue with me about a charcoal burger or hot dog, they are the best burger and hot dog

on a little tiny Weber, okay? I don't know what that is. You don't know what a Weber grill is? No, but the sound of charcoal, I don't like my food tasting like charcoal. Oh, it gives it such a good taste when it's just like a burger or a hot dog. Now I don't really want a charcoal steak.

I don't like smoked or charcoal taste. Dear God, Kale. Okay, well then, most men, I'm going to say, they're gonna say a Traeger or a green egg. And I just need, I don't have- Are those brands? The knowledge to do, yeah.

I don't have the knowledge to like do that kind of stuff. I just need something that I can hook propane up to and turn on, but I want to make sure it's a good one because I mean, girls are expensive. I'm looking at some of these girls on here and it it's like $1,000 $1,500. You know what? Here's my vote. I have cafe appliances in my kitchen. Cafe appliances needs to make a stove like a stove. I don't know how to run that shit, right? Like I don't know how to work it. I know how to turn it on. I know how to light it. I

know how to do all those things. Make that for women for outside. Because, you know, until I get married, I'm a single woman, if Elijah didn't live with me, first of all, I want it to match. Second of all, I want it to be the exact same thing that I know how to work already. So even if it's like gonna give it some sort of like grilled taste or whatever the fuck it does,

like with a grill, make it the same, the same way to use it, make it the same as the kitchen appliances, because I feel like you're targeting a whole new market of people with women because again, one, I would know how to use it. And two, I don't love the taste of charcoal on my food. So new audience, problem solved. Call me innovative, call me kale. Give me my royalty. Put you on chart tank. No, so I used to babysit for these lovely people whenever I was in high school.

This dad was like the ultimate griller. I always said in my internal brain, when I get married, I'm going to marry a man like him who knows how to grill because my dad was never a griller. I don't think my dad's ever used to grill one time time or would even know how to like turn one on or what they do Okay, um, I get so excited for Like grilled chicken or grilled corn whatever when it starts getting warmer months It brings me back to like my babysitting days and I was like this man is the best husband and I need a husband like this when I get a husband.

And now I'm just going to become my own husband because I'm going to get my own fucking grill and I'm going to learn how to cook my own chicken and my own grilled corn. And I just need to make sure that I'm doing it the right way. I also need to get outside of the mindset that everything has to be an aesthetic. This is for you and for Kristin. Let's film an episode going camping or glamping, either one and hiring someone to cut like an actual griller, like someone who's good at grilling,

not someone Joe Schmo off the street to teach us how to properly prepare our food so that it has a good, because I feel like I could like grilled food if it was made properly. Let's have someone come teach us how to do it. We'll film a whole episode of like, we go camping type deal and learn the whole thing and then learn how to grill. Also share our knowledge that we learned with everybody else who's listening to this. Correct. All right, y'all. We love our dogs over here on Coffee Combo's podcast. The Farmer's Dog was founded by two dog lovers who decided to reimagine pet food from the ground up. You will notice such differences from feeding your dog's kibble to

switching to the Farmer's Dog. I have noticed a difference in coat, like the fur, just the weight. I feel like my dogs are always at a good weight and the farmer's dog makes and delivers fresh healthy dog food. I love that it goes right to my door. I don't have to think about running out of dog food, going to the store, doing any of that. It is so convenient and you know I'm a big proponent of convenience. One thing that I love about it is I know that it's all good ingredients that are in there, but it makes it super easy with the dogs rotating out of our houses with the name on the front.

I absolutely love that it's personalized and it's nutritionally balanced made from real healthy ingredients to human food safety standards. When you guys open the pack, you will be mind blown that you ever fed your dogs kibble before because I was. And like Kale said, there's all sorts of benefits, healthier coat and skin, better breath.

It's even easier digestion and smaller, better poops. And a healthy diet just is not only important to humans, it's super important for our dogs too and it just makes me feel like a better pet owner feeding the farmer's dog. Get 50% off your first box of fresh healthy food at thefarmersdog.com slash coffee combos. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash coffee combos to get 50% off. That's thefarmersdog.com slash coffee combos. I also need to tell you about this video that I saw. I saw it a couple of weeks ago, but still very relevant to me.

I don't know if you watched the Masters. Did you watch the Masters? What is that? Wait, what? The Masters? What is that? Like golf? Oh, I don't even know.

What? So like the most prestigious tournament. No. I had no idea what that was. Okay. Oh, I don't even know. What? So like the most prestigious tournament. I, okay. I had no idea what that was. Okay, so the guy who won it, same as Scotty Scheffler, and he is from Texas.

And I saw this video from this interview after he won it. And he was talking about how he was raised. And in the home that he was raised in, his parents put such an emphasis on education and kindness to people. And golf was something that he just did and he loved, but it was not his identity. And he had great support from his sisters. He was talking about how they probably went to way more golf tournaments than they ever imagined that they would go to or ever wanted to go to, but they were very, very supportive. And then he talked about when he was younger and he was playing golf that he would see

these people with children that were putting so much pressure on these kids during their younger years to perform so that they could be a professional golfer whenever they were grown. And he said that was not the same upbringing that he had. And I want to know how you are with your children with sports. Is there like this pressure of being in the NBA or NFL. Is that like a thought that you go through? Or is it just I want to support you doing this because I know you love it, but I don't want

that to be your complete identity. I just want it to be something that you do and you do it because you love doing it. Okay, so there's a bunch of things that I want to say on this. First, I'm sending that to Javi immediately. Second, I just had Paige and Brooke from Dance Moms on Barely Famous. What was interesting was we talked about this, right? We talked about the pressure of kids in sports. When they left dance, they basically said that they never looked back. They liked it. One of them loved it, but they didn't, they did it because their mom put them in it. Right.

But that there's this like overwhelming pressure for children in sports. I learned very quickly with Isaac, had him in soccer. Y'all saw me screaming on the side of the field for Isaac to, and he just didn't get it. He didn't want to get it. He was committed to it. It's just not for him. Right.

Quickly learned, never did that again. Thank you so much. Moving on to Lincoln, he got into football, which was, I think, initially was a surprise for Javi and myself because Javi was a soccer player. So while he is kind of a well-rounded athlete, that just like wasn't his primary sport. So when Lincoln wanted to play football and excelled at it, we were all just like, okay, it was our first child, both of our first child who was actually very much immersed in the sport. That being said, we burnt ourselves out very quickly.

I don't necessarily think that we put the pressure on him. He put the pressure on himself and he wanted to do the training. He wanted to train five days a week. He wanted to do all of that. And with that, we were like, okay, I guess this is the norm. So then we turn around and now he wants to play basketball. Well, now Lincoln is at a place where again, well-rounded athlete, he is good at basketball, but I do not put the same pressure on him for basketball as the pressure was for him in football. So I don't want to see him get burned out in basketball kind of like he did for football. And so, and this is no shade, no hate, no nothing to Javi. I just think that

as a man and as a dad, I think naturally putting that pressure kind of comes up like, because it was done to him, I think that he's also perpetuating it and I don't think that he always realizes it. We've gone back and forth in conversation about the pressure that is on Lincoln for basketball and we have both kind of acknowledged that we're not, we don't want to burn him out. We don't want to put the pressure. If he wants to train, we let him train. If he doesn't want to train, I don't, I don't want him to train. I, NBA, NFL, that's not something that I ever like, he has said it as a 10 year old and we take it with a grain of salt, right? Like just like you were

on TV and that doesn't happen to everyone. What are the chances of you getting into a, you know, on a national team? It's just, it's just not likely. I would see comments from society, from our followers that would comment on his stuff and say, NFL, Lincoln's going to the NFL, Lincoln's going to the NFL, Lincoln's going to the NBA, things like that. I feel like unintentionally that also puts pressure on kids because they're reading those things, right? Then they also need, they get a chip on their shoulder, like, oh, we're good enough to

go do this, and then they need to be humbled. And so there's, there's a lot of factors that play here. Well, so also in this video, mind you, he, he won the Masters. Okay. And I understand that you don't have any understanding of the Masters, but to me, that is huge. And he was talking about, you know, it's exciting for a little bit of time that you've won the Masters. But then there's more important things in life that take precedence over that, like your family and whatever. And I just think it was a really good, I was very impressed by this interview and just

feel like that's the type of interviews that I want. If my child's tuning into a sports network, that's what I want him to see. That there is more to it than winning a trophy. There is more to life than just that. And that can be something that you do because you truly love doing it. And that is the only reason you're doing it because you truly love it. On the flip side of that, do you think it's easy for him to say that because this is what pays his bills? Because it does make me nervous that it's like, oh, there's more to life. Well, there can only be more to life if you are...

It's my opinion that he would have the same mentality whether he won the Masters or whether he didn't or whether he was a professional athlete or not. I think it was truly in his raising and who he is as a human being. My priority, obviously, all of our priorities is to provide for our family. That's one priority, right? But also your priority should be your family. And I think that's what he's saying. Like this does not take precedence.

Like while yes, it pays their bills, but it doesn't take, it's not more important to him than the time that he's going to spend with his child or the time he's going to spend with his wife or his sisters or his parents, like that is so important. And everything's not about winning a tournament. Yeah, of course not, of course not. Like, I love that. And I don't want my child to see, you know, an athlete out there who takes everything so seriously.

It's a fine line that you walk, right? Because you want them, if they love doing it and they want to be good at something, then you have to encourage them to practice to be better, right? But at the same time, it doesn't have to become such their life that there is nothing else more to life. No, I completely understand that. I'll be curious to watch the whole thing because I feel like it's something that I need to see and it's something that I definitely want to send to hobby. I truly want Lincoln to see it too thing because I feel like it's something that I need to see and it's something that I definitely want to send to hobby.

I truly want Lincoln to see it too because he doesn't need to put, I mean, he's 10 years old. We don't need to be putting NBA or NFL pressure on a 10 year old. 100%. What is this thing about sneaky kids and parents? Because I just had this conversation yesterday. Well, you and I have talked about this before, right? We've talked about sneaky, very strict parents create sneaky children.

And I feel that in my bones because they feel like when I was really, really strict with Isaac, that's when things were kind of happening. And now that I'm more, I don't want to say laid back, I'm still the parent, but I have different expectations. And I think that it's changed a lot of the behavior, obviously, with time and age and things like that also plays a factor in maturity. This is actually research that proves that parents, it says how parents are responding to the fast paced changes in technology and unpredictability of the job market, they're

doubling down on their kids' education. So they're saying in this study that it affects their academic performance, which I thought was really interesting. So authoritative is setting clear goals, being supportive, listening to your kids' side of things. And then you're also there to guide and support them, but not control every move they make. And I think that that is interesting because that's what I try, I strive for.

Like I'm here to guide you, but I'm not, I can't make these decisions for you. Obviously we hope that you pick the right path, but that's it. Authoritarian is very different and these tend to have strong emphasis on control and authority relying on punishment. And I've done that.

I've tried to be that parent, right? Like- That how I was raised. It's going to go this way. And if it doesn't, there's punishment, consequences, all the things where now I feel like I've geared more towards authoritative where there's natural consequences, but I'm not here to punish you for making a wrong decision or a wrong choice that you thought was going to suit you. Right? Like the whole, you forget your, you want to make the decision not Right? Like the whole, you forget your, you wanna make the decision not to wear your jacket and then you're cold, the natural, I don't need to punish you for that.

I'm not gonna say, oh, well, you're not getting dessert after dinner because you didn't wear your coat. That's not my, that's not, or, you know, if this morning, for example, Isaac was in a really weird mood. He was tired and I looked at him and I said, what time did you go to bed last night? And he said, 1130. I said, that's really late for an eighth grader. I said, you're too, I believe

you're too young to be staying up that late. And if I have to take your phone, you know, I'll do that. If you, you know, you need me to cut you off at 10 o'clock, then it's time for bed kind of thing. And I feel like that is more, that is more authoritative than authoritarian where before I'd be like, Oh, you want to be on your phone, stay up late. You're tired in the morning. Now you're getting punished. And then there's permissive where we all know this is the cool parents, there's no boundaries really and you're their friend. But when it comes to education, they're basically saying that you have to find a balance that's

not going to affect their education. Because I found in my own experience was when I was literally so rigid and cold and authoritarian over Isaac, there was so much disappointment because there was expectations. When I laid off a little bit, he went from honor roll to high honor roll. Yesterday, I took him to an orthodontist appointment in the middle of the day, and we went to lunch after and we were talking. He was going through his grades, going over his grade point average and was so fucking proud of himself about making distinguished honor roll and then also his GPA and things like that. And now he was like, I'm reconsidering maybe going to college

because before he wanted to go to trade school. All of these things kind of came full circle. And that came at a point of loss for me. All of these things were going on and I felt like I took his phone away because I felt like he was being sneaky, but it was all because I was being so fucking rigid about things in fear of if I didn't, what would happen? But when I laid off a little bit, everything was fine. And I don't know why I didn't trust him more. I think that there is a balance that we need to understand that not every kid is going to make bad choices simply because they have the option to.

Yes, there's going to be fuck ups, but ultimately, we're here to guide them. We're not here to control them. So I very much was raised, I guess, authoritarian. That's the control one. And I do not raise Jackson like that. Will was also raised like that. Will is a lot more strict than I am. And I was actually saying on the Southern Tea not too long ago to Kristin that some

of the issues that Will deals with at his house, I don't have those same issues at my house because there's a little bit more leniency and a little bit more room to mess up. And he's not afraid to mess up over here. So he doesn't try to be sneaky because he's not hiding anything, right? And to your point, you're staying up until 1130. while I cannot make you close your eyes, if you wake up and you're dragging around, don't act tired now. This is the consequence for you not going to sleep. So now you're going to struggle through this day and do what you have to do.

And then if you need to come home and take a nap, that's on you. But you chose that, right? I give Jackson a lot of choices and options, and I just feel like it enforces the fact that you have choices and options in life, and just because you're a kid doesn't mean that you don't have choices and options, and I'm not gonna try to make every decision for you, because I personally feel like with strict parents

and the way that I was raised, I was afraid to make a decision, because I had never really made any big decisions before I got out on my own. And so I do think that instilled a lot of anxiety in me and a lot of fear and just, what if I make this decision and I do something wrong? If your kids have messed up and been given the opportunity to mess up along the way, and they have to pay consequences for the things that they've done, whether that be a natural consequence,

whatever it may be, they still have that experience. And I think that is important. Kale, did you know that nearly 75% of people have subscriptions that they have forgotten about? And I am a part of that statistic. And before I started using Rocket Money, I thought that I had way less subscriptions than what I actually did have.

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which I did get the plans off Etsy, but that's neither here nor there. I absolutely love Rocket Money. It has helped me so much. And I just love that I have full control over my subscriptions and a clear view of my expenses. So I can see all my subscriptions in one place. If I see something that I don't want,

Rocket Money can just help me cancel it with a few taps. It's so easy. So this is your sign to stop wasting money on things that you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos, rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. You made a really good point about not being afraid to mess up at your house.

And I also have another child who was really, really struggling with this was not not not very recently, but like sort of very struggling with some reading and some sight words and literally broke down in tears and was like, if I don't get this, my dad's going to be so upset. And I basically just, I'm like, we have all week to work through this. It's going to be fine. His teacher sent me updates of the smile on his face when he got X amount of words versus what he needed. I think he had two or three left. And it was just like, you can pace yourself and we can get through this. You don't have, again, circling sort of back. It's like this in combination with the sports thing, like less pressure,

I think. And not all kids operate that way, right? Like some kids need the constant on top of rigid. Some kids do. Sorry, my Etsy notifications. I can't stop ordering off Etsy, by the way. Some kids do. Sorry, my Etsy notifications. I can't stop ordering off Etsy, by the way. And he was so proud of himself. And I just, I don't want my son, any of my kids, to be stressed out about their phones and doing the right thing constantly.

I think if we set them up for success, they're gonna make the right choices most of the time. The thing about sight words, very much that was me whenever I was a child. And I had so much fear and anxiety of doing something wrong because of the expectations that were set. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be setting expectations for our children, right? And all of our children have different levels of, okay, this child can do this,

but this child might not have as much capability of that. And you know that as that child's parent, right? So you push some more than you push others. My parents definitely pushed me because they knew that I had the capability to be able to do it. And so I don't want it to sound like, oh, my parents were like mean.

No, it was they pushed me because they knew I could. Yeah. But it also gave me tons of anxiety. And I don't want to do that to Jackson. Like it's not the end of the world. If you go to school and miss a word on a spelling test, if we've gone through this like eight times, or we've done this all week long, and you still miss it, you're not getting in trouble for that. 100% I have the flashcards, we working on them with Lux to get or we've done this all week long and you still miss it, you're not getting in trouble for that. 100%. I have the flashcards, we were working on them with Lux

to get on the next level, right? And I'm like, you know these words, I know how far I can push without it being too far where Isaac and Lincoln are more, they don't have to work hard to be smart. Like they're just not where, Lux is like me and I'm assuming like Chris, where we have to study to be smart.

Like I have to work hard to be to where Javi and Joe are already naturally book smart. You know what I mean? I feel like we have a lot of stuff to pull this week and I would love to know how our audience with children, how they parent their children. I wanna know what's most common. And I also wonder if certain parenting styles are based off of like geographically where you grew up. Because I feel like in the South, it's very common to parent the way my parents parented me.

So I also would love to know that as well. Like where do you live and how do you parent? I agree. I definitely agree with that. And on that note, foul play. Let's preface this with we took each other's virginity. So we were very inexperienced. Anyways, I'm 16, he's 17 or 18. We're at his place and he still lives at home. So his mom's place. We were at home alone. And of course one thing led to another and I'm bent over getting back shots. First of all, you lose your virginity getting back shots?

Mayam, are you okay? Anyways. So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So was he like pulling out and then going back in? No, I think back shots is just like, just like doggy style. Okay, I didn't know that's what it was called. I thought that was like when you come on somebody's back.

Kristen, what is it? Wait, is it not like where you come on someone's back? Okay. Okay, so Kristen says that this can go either way. It could be what I'm saying or what you're saying. Continue please. Anyways, we're going in and all of a sudden I feel something wet

dripping down my legs. Now I mentioned we were inexperienced. My first thought was am I coming? I knew it wasn't because I didn't feel that climax yet. So then I think did this motherfucker just finish inside of me? I turn around, I should mention this was in a, I should mention this was in a span of 30 seconds. So I turn around and see blood everywhere. It's on top of my legs, on his dick, on the carpet, everywhere. This boy did not stop after seeing it.

Immediately I shove him off and start asking where the blood came from. He had the audacity to say, I thought you got your period. Clearly he didn't know how periods work either because it was a huge mess of blood everywhere. I did not start my period. It was his dick. His dick started bleeding and this man put that bloody dick inside of me. Wait, dicks bleed?

Wait. Wait. Wait, what? That shit was gushing like a nosebleed, but 10 times worse. You know the ones where the blood won't stop coming out? Yeah, it would not stop bleeding. So immediately I start wiping myself with a towel and as we're cleaning up, his family gets home. So now I'm

forced to put my clothes back on with blood filled legs and other things, because I couldn't get it off in time. To make matters worse, I drove my mom's car to get some dick. So I had to drive back home and act normal so that she wouldn't be suspicious. This was my worst sex story yet, but years later, we're still raw dogging. Okay. Why was he bleeding? Because that's what I, she didn't answer any of my questions.

One, you were doing fucking doggy style, losing your virginity. Are you sure that this was not your hymen breaking and it wasn't you? Because this is not making sense. That's what I was thinking. I'm thinking it was her hymen. Because I bled when I lost my virginity.

I bled. Like talking dripping blood bled when I lost my virginity. I bled. Like talking, dripping blood bled. I feel like his dick wasn't bleeding because if like, why would his dick be bleeding? And where did it, like, cause you didn't clear it. You didn't start by. Where did it start bleeding? I need to know.

And like, I didn't know dick's blood. I don't think they do unless there's a problem. And it doesn't sound like it. What do you mean, like what type of problem? Like maybe a cut. Okay, doesn't sound like it's- What do you mean? Like what type of problem? Like maybe a cut. Okay, I mean, I understand that. There's just like a lot to unpack in this story. First of all, I didn't even,

like the thoughts of doggy losing my virginity was not a thing, like strictly missionary. Okay, that's number one. Hugs. Number two, Kristen just messaged us and said, I think they can rip the pee hole. No, that's not happening. Because like, they rip your pee hole. And then you're you're gushing that much blood. I just

I don't also when you're ripping your pee hole, that would be something that's like you guys are both not into this, like almost like an essay situation where it's like dry as fuck. That's what I was thinking. If there's natural lubrication and she is wet, for lack of better words, there's no ripping of the pee hole. I tend to agree.

I'm going to go with the fact that it was her hymen. Yeah. And sometimes it's a little retrospect to realize, oh shit, maybe it was me. Because I, like I said, I dripped blood. So maybe you didn't realize. Okay. Do we think that it is most common if someone, if a woman is bleeding, that a man just like keeps going

or there's like a stop period? You're either running red lights or not. There are, I don't think there's, I don't think there's like a stop period. You're either running red lights or not. There are, I don't think there's any, I don't think there's any in between. Like there are men that are okay with it. And then there are men that are absolutely sick to their stomach at the site of blood. So I don't think there's an in-between situation.

There are some men that are okay with knowing that you're on your period and still choose to do it. And some men that are like, absolutely not. Don't talk to me for seven days. Yeah. Right? And I've never been with someone who is grossed out by blood. I am the same.

So we just told on ourself. Next foul play. So I have a foul play. Well, I'm glad that you do. I was newly single and a group of my girlfriends wanted to go out for New Year's So New Year's Eve gets here. We're at Lake bars. There's bars all around the lake. It's a blast anyways So we're just having the time of our lives. My best friend ended up meeting a guy and I did we went back to my house She's looking up with her friend and I was with mine

Well after we finished the guy went and turned the shower on and I hear him go, shit. I said, what happened? He goes, I don't know where the, oh no, I don't know where the condom is. I was like, what do you mean you don't know where the condom is? He comes running back and goes, spread your legs. So I do. And he pulls it out. I was like, oh my God, this did not just happen. He comes up and goes, there she is. I was mortified and never spoke to him again. Fast forward. I'm now married, moved to Pennsylvania. And I never see anybody from my home state. I'm at the mall and hear this person say, Oh my god, condom girl. I turn around sure

shit. It's this guy from the bar. This was literally in 2015. We hooked up he comes up to me hugs me like we've been best friends in my head I'm like don't say small dick leper convoy and of course my mouth blurt it out that's what my friends and I always called him my friends and I still laugh about it to this day apparently he does too love you girlies oh forgot to add after he pulls out the condom out of me he shows up the next day with the day after pill and hands me a beer to take it with. Okay, there's a lot going on with this story. First of all, you know, when you have like anxiety

about something that you said or something that like, just in an everyday situation, you're like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. Like maybe they didn't, maybe the joke didn't hit or like whatever. This is like- Or like word vomit. Yeah, this is like that where it's like, okay, that was the worst experience for both of

us. And then like, you hope that the other person forgets about it. And then just to find out that they didn't like that's like my worst nightmare. But could you just imagine like, how well, I'm going to say this, and everybody's going to be like, yes, Lindsay, I can't imagine having sex with some man, I'm running into him at the mall, and he blurted out, Oh my God, condom girl. So I'm thinking of this guy that I had sex with one time and love him to death. And I

mean, the sex was painfully awkward because it was, I think, built up for a really long time and even to this day, pretty attracted to him. Um so awkward that we I literally just know that if I were to see him, I'd talk to him. But also both of us would be thinking about how awkward it was. You know what I mean? Do I know this person? No, no, thank God because I was thinking in my mind like who it possibly was. I'm glad it's not that person.

I want to censor it. It would be funny. Who did you think? Oh, he never actually penetrated. So okay. Also, also, can you imagine just like having a shitty situation? I was not expecting you to say that. I was not expecting you to say that. I was not expecting that.

But can you just imagine having a traumatizing story like this and then also be with somebody with a tiny? No, that sucks. That's even worse, but I love that they both have nicknames for each other. And hers is not nearly as embarrassing as his. Do we also feel like it's just a little abrasive to show up with the day after pill and to be so insensitive in that moment to also hand you a beer as a pill chaser? Kind of amazing to be honest. Like thank you.

I kind of hate it to be honest. I love it. I don't love it. And on that note, thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on Apple podcast app, follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community.

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