Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Balancing Parenting Time & Unconditional Love

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

CC396: Lindsie is having co-parenting issues that is on the verge of escalating, which Kail can relate to. Kail talks about the faux coochie emergency, their thoughts on the Blake Baldoni scandal, and is unconditional love a good thing? A listener asks a super sus question that has Kail and Lindsie concerned about the listener's relationship. Thank you to our sponsor! Happy Mammoth: Get 15% off on your entire first order at happymammoth.com just use the code COFFEECONVOS at checkout. Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/Coffee! #honeylovepod Hungryroot: Get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at Hungryroot.com/convos and use code CONVOS Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS. Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family,

and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Good morning, welcome to attitude combos. How are we? Attitude combos is spot on. Spot on. I was on the phone with Kristin before this and I go, we got to get on this call. And she goes, what? And I go, I mean recording. I don't want to own

a company anymore. I do not want to own a company anymore. But you do want to know what I've been doing lately? Yeah. I'm related. I've been like lying to see how people react. So remember that time? Remember that time that I like convinced somebody at Hibachi that I was an attorney? Yeah.

And I was a part, I was like a partner in the firm. at Hibachi that I was an attorney. Yeah. And I was like a partner in the firm. So the other night we were talking, it was like me, the kids, and Elijah. And I like, I don't remember what I said, but I was like, and then Elijah told me he didn't love me anymore.

And like said it with a straight face. I like did something. I think somebody farted and I was like, and then I farted and Elijah said he didn't love me anymore. Just to see what everybody will say. And Elijah looks back at me like, have you lost your fucking mind? The answer to that question is yes.

The answer is 1000%. And my kids are just like, they don't know if I'm joking or not. But then we all just start bust up laughing. But like, that's what I've been doing. And so it's probably not setting a good example, but I'm truly having to laugh through stuff to get through it. And seeing their reactions to some of the unhinged things that I say, hasn't gotten me through

these difficult times. I was just talking about right before we got on this recording about like trauma laughing. That's so real. It's such a real thing. It's like, sometimes I will be like in a friend group and something will happen and I'll just start busting out laughing

and it's socially not acceptable. Like- No, it's not. And I just, some people laugh at funerals. They're not funny. It's just, how do you cope? Have you ever been to a funeral and somebody says like something funny about a person that's now taking a dirt nap? And you're like, finding yourself giggling and you're like, wait, am I

supposed to be crying or like laughing? Laughing? No 1000%. And then I'll like look around. Also, can we talk about that release? I know that this wasn't part of the plan for Coffee Combo's podcast today because we are absolutely unhinged. Some of the books that I'm reading and then also just like on TV shows and stuff where they're like, I blinked back my tears

and I kept pushing on or like whatever. I've never, like once the tears are like in the waterline, there is no getting rid of them. Like they're coming out no matter what. I could blink 5,000 times and they're not going anywhere. If my brain is crying, then I'm crying. Okay. Actually, this was not part of the plan, but here we go. Growing up, my dad hated. I was not like an emotional child, but like a very sensitive one. And

you and I talked about this before. And I had to learn like when it was socially acceptable and appropriate to cry and when it wasn't because like, I don't know, he could come through the kitchen when I was in kindergarten and he's like, your shoes are on the wrong feet and I would cry. Same. So much. But like once they're in your eyeballs, like once they're on the waterline, they're coming down. I can't stop it. But now it's so crazy because I was a child like that. but Kristin has said before, she's like, you literally never cry. So when you do, you know it's like a very impactful situation of like what's going on. So now I'm like kind of the exact opposite. So I find myself laughing in situations to

like cope with things that I should probably be crying about. No 1000%. But I guess my biggest, like... You're a big crier. But if I was to walk into a funeral that I don't know anyone, I'm still crying. So, like, I don't know... Why are you here?

I just don't understand. Can you, can someone give me the rundown on how, when you're about to cry, or like you feel the tears sting your eyes as my books stay as my books. Sting your eyes. Goodbye. Sting my eyes.

I can't even read because that stuff's so fucking crazy. If I read, if I read those tears sting my eyes. Hot tears sting my eyes. No ma'am. I did some research for you by the way. My throat, my throat tightens choking back tears. Wow, I'd be a great writer. Kale, I need you to do a little bit less, but I did some research for you from last

week. Perfect. Okay, so you know how I told you that there were like all of these shows that I was watching based off of Harlan Coban's books. Mm-hmm. White Lotus, was that one of them? No, White Lotus wasn't a part of it. It was just some other unhinged shit that I was watching, which by the way, if you watch

it, you feel like you're tripping on something the entire time. So oddly enough, I got a request for a pitch of someone that was on that show. Oh, you did? Well, can we have like a private conversation about that? Because there might be some questions that I can come up with that I want you to ask them for me. Okay, so these are the next things that I'm going to be watching. Not in any particular order.

Fool me once. These are all on Netflix. Hold tight. The innocent, safe, the woods, stay close and gone for good. They're always off of books. Maybe I could join book club one day after I've watched this if you decide to read it. Correct. Can you send me that list actually so I can… Certainly. And are the titles of the Netflix… Don't know the answer to that. If they're the same as the title of the book?

Yeah. Don't know. I will do some further research and get back to you. Okay. Because I did see some Facebook posts and they were like, what were the shows that Lindsay listed? So I think that actually could be something that we work on too, is like posting the list of the stuff that we talk about because if someone's driving, they're not going to be able to remember that. So yeah, no, I love that. We can post the list. There is another thing that I, as a mom, want to talk to you about. And I want you to tell me if you feel like it's a fair situation.

Let's just paint the picture. This is a field trip. Okay. It is shortly out of the state, like it's in Chattanooga. Okay. So there is a coach bus that has to be purchased, like from the school, I guess, or rented. It is for

a fifth grade. They normally do a bigger field trip when they're getting ready to go to middle school, right? I get said field trip form two days ago. It's now January the 28th. The money is due on February the 4th. I just don't feel like based off of the price of what the field trip cost, that that's realistic for most families. I'm looking at the field trip form now, students cost for each individual student $82. Here's the thing, right off the bat, something like that, just the field trip in and of itself, plus the price that should have been sent home at the beginning of the school year, whether they

knew where they were going or not, if they knew that they were doing a big field trip, and you know, money will be due at you know, on X date, that is something that you send in the beginning of the year. Students will attend a big field trip on X date. We don't know where that is yet, but it could be up to $100. And then sending out bi-weekly or monthly reminders until then, because no, people cannot pull $82 out of their asses in one week.

Well, I mean, I think about people like twins, twin parents, right? Like what if they have two fifth graders and it's $82. If you want to chaperone and you get selected to be a chaperone, it's $102 for the chaperones and $82. So in the event that I get selected to be a chaperone, we're talking about $184 day for a field trip. And you know what? I'm glad that they're taking kids on the field trips like this. But again,

communication is where like obviously comprehension, you have to have it. But communication in the first place, that should have been something that was sent out a month prior, two months prior, two months prior, three months prior, the beginning of the school year. Isaac went to basically what you're describing, something like that. They took Isaac to Six Flags, which was out of state as well. And thankfully, we, between Joe and myself, figured it out, but not everybody can pull $82.

I mean, I talk about my friend all the time. She's a single mom of four kids. Imagine if she had two kids going on a big field trip at the same time, and that's not notice. That's not enough notice, in my opinion. I also feel like that there should be two different celebrations, right? So if this is like the class trip they're going on

for the end of the school year or whatever, I feel like for the kids that don't get to participate, then there should be something else. That's so fucked up. Also, I mean, can we can I like donate money to kids in case they can't go because I'm like, who doesn't get to go in the class because we need to like just coffee carpools. we'll just pay for them. We need to pull it together. But I hope I get selected.

You're like, I'll pay for a couple, pay for a couple students and I hope I get selected. Do you get upset if you don't get selected as the class chaperone? No, I don't ever really apply to be the chaperone. I've been on a handful of field trips. Why? I will they do background checks and you have to pass the one I went on to field trips with Creed and he's a child that when I'm around, he's not on his best behavior. And when I'm not around, he's on his best behavior. So I have learned

that going on field trips with him is not in his best interest. And then I've been on a handful of field trips with my other kids and it's fine, but typically I'm working and I just can't, like it's just not feasible. I mean, evidently I'll be taking the day off since we're going out of state if I get selected. Let me tell you what really chapped my ass though. Oh, what was it? So I always apply to be a chaperone for field trips. Always. Jackson had one at the Brave Stadium and I was like, well, it's like a baseball thing.

He likes to do like sports stuff with Will. Maybe I should ask Will if I get selected if he wants to be a chaperone. Okay. So Will's never like been on field trip before, so I get selected and I tell him, hey, I'm going to email the teacher, let her know that you're going to be the one in attendance. You might have to fill out like background check information like whatever, but you'll pass background check and she'll send you all the information for what you need.

Miss ma'am, it got a day before the field trip and I was left off of an email thread. Like he intentionally left me off the email. And said he couldn't go. He couldn't go. And I was going to Chattanooga to meet you. No because I would no longer be passing a background check because at that point you should have had the option of whether you wanted to take the place or not.

Well I already had plans like once he said I had a work obligation at that point. So I was his reasoning. He had something to do for work. And I'm like, okay, well, sir, your conference call can be delayed. But did he not know? Did he not know that he had said obligation before he? No. So this is where we get into a better conversation. Because I feel like when everything's a priority, nothing is right. So if you make a commitment to something, if something else comes along, in the meantime of what you've already committed to, they should be told I cannot do that. I have a prior commitment.

Correct. Correct. Do you feel like that? Yes. I'm not just talking about like field trip talk. I'm talking about life in general. Yes. So at the point that he couldn't go, I told him, I said, you need to tell Jackson because I have always gone on like all of his field trips. This is going to be the first time he's going without one, like without me there. And now you're backing out for whatever reason so you can peacefully take shits at home probably. Not okay, but you're going to explain because I already have a work obligation.

So that became my priority for that time. Right. So I'm not changing that because you did what you did. Right. I agree with you. Okay, you guys know that I just got a breast reduction and that means that I'm ditching uncomfortable bras for good. I never have to wear an uncomfortable bra ever again and truly like is too short to wear bad bras. But luckily today's episode is brought to you by Honeylove, the brand that's completely revolutionized the wireless bra.

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It's so interesting that you brought that up though. I'm working on a piece with Entertainment Tonight and one of the questions is like the mom guilt and balancing work and kids and stuff like that. And that is something you're like, okay, I had a work, I have a work obligation, but at what point are you like, okay, well, Kayl will understand, even though I work this out with her, Kayl will understand I need to be there for Jackson.

And that's so hard. It's so fucking hard. It's so hard. And also the fact that work things have deadlines, right? True. And also involve other people. So, and that's like another thing. It's really hard.

You're right. It's really hard. But I had to stick to what I preach that once something becomes a priority, that is the priority. I cannot change that based off of you being flippant. I just am shocked that he canceled like that, like the day before, because then that puts the school in a fucked up place that they have to select another chaperone last minute.

And a lot of other people, I'm not saying everyone, but like, yeah, of course they're stay at home or work from home parents, but like, what about the other people who needed notice and would have had it? That's what I'm saying. It's not like they were going to like the local pumpkin patch. Like they're going to Atlanta to the brave stadium. And I understand people get sick.

Like shit happens. Right. But that was just like an unnecessary thing. And it really quite frankly pissed me off. I mean, my ass would be chapped as well. Can I tell you something that happened last night? That was like sort of an emergency? Yeah. So I've talked about... Have I talked about not having feeling below my belly button? Have I talked about that? No, the last that I heard from you was you made Elijah smell your belly button. Okay.

So belly button's healing up. It's still leaking. It doesn't really stink. It's not green. It's fine, whatever. I have not had feeling below my belly button to the top of my pubic bone since 2016, so it's not new, right? Like when I have the twins C section and then it's split open, I never felt it split open because I don't have feeling, so I didn't feel the liquid until it hit my legs and I was like,

what's going on? Well, so I was in the my legs. And I was like, what's going on? Well, so I was in the shower last night and I was like, what is going on? Like I was cleaning myself. I have my period FYI, I mean, not FYI. Same you and I are synced. Okay, so we're synced. I have my period, I'm in the shower.

I have to like clean down there. And I'm like, oh my God, I don't really have feeling down there. Like I kind of don't have feeling. Like I can't even feel myself cleaning myself. So I'm having a sort of a medical emergency, right? I'm like, okay, what is going on? So I look at Elijah and I said, we're gonna have to have sex. And he goes, mind you, we haven't had sex since I had surgery because I've been fucked up.

When I was like, something's wrong. I cannot feel myself down there. And he's just looking at me like I've lost my fucking mind. We need to have sex tonight. Like we have to have sex. Like when I get the kids to sleep, like we have to have sex. Wait, pause for a second because I'm trying to figure out, are you trying to see if you can feel sex or you just needed to have it? Both because it's been a long time because I had been healing for so long.

But I'm like cleaning myself and like, I don't know about you, but like I like put my leg Well, both, because it's been a long time because I had been healing for so long. But I'm like cleaning myself and like, I don't know about you, but like I like put my leg up and I like clean in all the crevices and stuff. And so I'm like, I really don't feel myself cleaning myself. Like what is going on? So needless to say, we did the thing. And then I have all

feeling in all parts and Elijah was like, don't worry, like I you'll feel the inside. Like if you don't feel the outside, it's fine. I'm like, Elijah, I need outer stimulation in order to climax, if you will. And he was like, but we can get a vibrating, like we can put vibrating things in will. And he was like, but we can get a vibrating, like we can put vibrating things in there. And I was like, but you're not, you're not getting it. Um, but it worked. I need it not in there on there. Correct. And so, you know, and some people can get off in different ways, but not me. So I was having a problem. I was having a, um, pseudo

emergency. Everything's fine. I actually think I have more sensitivity currently because of the blood flow and then the surgery which also created blood flow. So I was taken aback by that, but. Okay, well, let me ask you this. What is your average time of sex and like what's too much? I never wanna go past 15 minutes. Same. Like, please don't. Like what's too much? I never want to go past 15 minutes. Same.

Like, please don't. Like what are you doing? Now it's turned into a job and I'm not collecting a paycheck. People ask me all the time, Kayle, how do you read so many books? I wouldn't have time to read a book at night if we go past 15 minutes because I'm a tired girlie, I'm a tired girl. So I literally looked at Elijah last night after I had showering at the kids bed and I was like, should I

read first and then we should have sex or should we have sex and then I read first? Because I'm tired. So it was like a very planned... It was mainly to make sure I had feeling down there. There was nothing spontaneous about what transpired on the Lowry land last night. Correct. And poor Elijah was like not knowing what to expect at all. He was just here for a good time. Well, did he like it? Yeah, he was great. He was fantastic. Hot neighbor was up in there.

Hot neighbor. Okay, I want to read you this quote that I found. Do you know who Bobby Altaf is? Of course I know who Bobby Altaf is. She's not dating Tyga in case you were wondering. Why did I feel like she was dating Drake for the longest time? I, that is my Roman Empire, okay. Several things about Bobby Althoff is my Roman Empire. Number one, how she landed the interview with Drake and then why they fell out. I don't care what they say. Something weird happened. Those two things and just Bobby Althoff in general is my Roman Empire. How did she? Where did she start? I think she was like a content creator, like a comfort creator deal on TikTok, YouTube, whatever.

And she was married to this guy. I think he was like a tech person or maybe that was I might be confusing her without Alex Cooper. I don't know. But I thought he was some sort of like mogul. I want to know how, because in order to book someone like Drake, I feel like that has to be with connections or the closest thing I can compare it to is me with Colleen Hoover, because Colleen Hoover is way

out of my league, like how the fuck did I land her? Do you know what I'm saying? And so it just happened to be a case in my opinion of right place, right time. And I, you know, my team pitched her. So she said yes, but like Drake. Do we think that like maybe Drake was scrolling TikTok and saw her and then she had her people reach out to his people and he was like, okay, she's kind of funny because she's so dry. But that was the first one I thought. I thought that that was the first interview. Well, here is no possible way that that was the first interview she ever did.

I know she did an interview where she talked about paying people $300 to get them on her podcast. So she had money, but was she saying $300 for like the funny effect? No, I think that she was really like, I will pay. She did an interview. I mean, I'm just so like, and the other part of it is like, what made them fall out? Why did it go the way it went? I don't know. I mean, I had my theories. First of all, I didn't tell you that I can never like look at Drake and not see him in a wheelchair in DeGrasse. See I can't look at Drake and not think of Bobby Althoff. I think of them in the bed. I feel like something possibly transpired. Like I'm not out here to start rumors.

That already was a rumor. This has been an ongoing rumor for years now. But I kind of feel, and then it became very sus because she filed for divorce or her husband, her now ex-husband or soon-to-be ex-husband filed for divorce. What happened? You're right. It probably is like one of my Roman empires among many. You know, another one of my Roman empires is Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds and Justin Baldoni.

First of all, take a step back because that is always going to live. That case is going to be bigger than Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, in my opinion. But you said, do I know who Bobby Eltoff is? What were you going to say about Bobby Eltoff? I had followed some news about her filing for divorce or he filed for divorce, whatever. So I don't know where they are in that process. But what? I'm pretty sure they're divorced.

Oh, like fully, like legally. I believe so. I think that because she just, her and her boyfriend just broke up. So boyfriend, where have I been? She posted a whole trailer with her boyfriend, but like didn't show his full face. And like everyone was speculating. They were like, is this Sean something? And they were like, no, no, no, no, no.

And then last night or a couple nights ago, she got on TikTok and was like, I'm not dating Tyga. And that was this whole thing because he was live streaming and she came out on the live stream and Tyga was like, are you out? And she was like, yeah. And he like walked her out. But I'm like, why was she like hidden in another room? Like what's going on here? It was like she also connected to the car. Like, again, we need to do some major deep dive on this girl. But I saw this video and she was talking about life challenges and

how it can lead to unexpected growth. And I loved it. She said, being a mom is the best thing to ever happen to me, being a mom is the best thing to ever happen to me, even though it's the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. It complicates every aspect of your life, but also gives you purpose. For me, I feel like people relate to this. When you have a bad childhood,

where my whole childhood, I wanted to grow up so bad, I wanted to have a kid and do it the right way so badly. This is what you're supposed to do when you have a kid. I'm very proud of the life that my kids have. Even though their parents are divorced, they have a very stable household, even more so than when we were together. I noticed being married, we were going down the same path that my parents went, and I could see how it was going to end. All right, y'all. One of the hardest parts of getting older is feeling like something is wrong with your body. And if you're like me, I feel like sometimes I'm 65 when I'm really 35. But really, it's not really knowing what's going on with your body. Everything

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And while I've struggled hugely from divorce, I feel like the repercussions of divorce, and I feel like you can probably relate to this without speaking on your specific situation, but I feel like different aspects of that hit you at different times. And it's not like the closure is just like all there at once, right? Yeah. And when Will and I went through the divorce, I was advised by a counselor that also was working at a play therapy center that Jackson went to, that did post-marital divorce counseling with a child that was participating in play therapy.

The way that it worked was they would take themes and stuff from the play therapy sessions and bring it in to the divorce sessions so that you could grasp where your child was while also processing where each of you are, right? And at that time, Jackson had shared that he loved both his mom and his dad equally. And I feel like there is no, I have no hard feelings about that. Like if he didn't, I would feel more sad about that than how I feel about him loving both of his parents equally. But over, I would say, Kristen and I talked about this over about the last year and a half, I've noticed

some trends of certain things with him that he's desiring to have more of like that stability of being in one house throughout the week and not shifting from home to home. And although our shifts aren't great, I mean, we have, Will has Monday, Tuesday, or yeah, Monday, Tuesday, I have Wednesday, Thursday, and then we alternate the weekend. So it's like two, two, and then your long time is five. So it's not a ton of shifting,

but with Will's work schedule, like this past week, he's been gone for nine days. Nine days is a long time. So Jackson's been with me for nine days and this is, I don't want to say that he regularly is gone for nine days, but he is consistently gone weekly, bi-weekly. He's missing parenting time that is his allotted parenting time. So when we went through the divorce, I wanted to be fair.

And my attorney gave me great advice. She said, don't look at it as fair for the parents, y'all situation, look at it as fair for the kid, right? Take your emotions out of it. It's a very hard thing to do, but take your emotions out of it. So I'm like, we can try the 50-50 situation. We went through multiple, did you ever change like your arrangement as far as like, did

y'all try week on week off, mid-week dinners? Javi and I always, because I think that we were so new to Delaware being a 50-50 state where Pennsylvania wasn't and isn't. It might've changed since we moved out. We didn't realize, I think then, because I had gone through some stuff with Joe in court, but not a ton, we didn't know there was another option to week on, week off, I don't think, thinking back or we weren't open to anything other than week on, week off. So that's where we started

and never really changed that. So that's what you currently still do. Yeah. The only thing that we changed was the exchange days. So like it used to be Sunday to Sunday. Now we always do Monday to Monday because during the school year, we don't have to see each other. So, you know, Javi and I get along, but there's no real reason unless it's absolutely necessary for us to drop off at each other's house and like let the other parent finish the weekend is sort of where Javi and I were like, you know, if him and Lauren go out of town or if, you know, Elijah and I go out of town, we don't want to have to be rushed back by whatever time on a Sunday with the

child. So just let them, you know, do that. But so I do know that 225 exists or week on, week off, or I think Some people do. So we were trying to do where we did the two and then there was like the parent that didn't have the two, there was like a midweek dinner and then they started their parenting time the following day. So it kind of like broke it up a little bit. That didn't end up working for us because what would end up happening was either sports would get involved or just like life stuff and then you're being dropped off like 8,

8.30 at night and it's like already bedtime and bath time, you know, so that just didn't work for us. But we tried like week on, week off. We've tried like all of the things. And now that I have moved, I'm in a different school and our schools work different than yours. So you have to be within the radius of the school to attend. And I know that y'all do the school choice or have that option. But Pennsylvania wasn't like that. So where I was growing up, you had to go to school where you were zoned. Okay. Got it. So Jackson's a rising middle schooler and he has a desire to go to the middle school that I am zoned for. Will does not want that. And

however, I see Will's point on why he feels like he shouldn't do that. But also I am the traveling parent and the primary parent and I am regularly home and not out of town unless there is a work trip. You know this, like unless there's a work trip that is well pre-planned, I'm not having last minute stuff. How far do you live from Will? Like 17 minutes. Oh, see. That's regular.

I drive my kids, it's exactly 17 minutes from my house to the school. To me, that's just in my regular schedule every single day. So for Will to have to drive Jackson 17 minutes to the school or even 20 minutes to the school to me is not, that's not enough. Well, he said he's not doing that. Jackson also has expressed that he would like to be with one parent through the week and have the other parent on the weekends, which is hard because then it's like one parent has to do all of the hard stuff, right? Then the other parent gets to play with them.

So I don't want to give up selfishly. Don't want to give up two weekends for me to lose the fun time. Right. That's something that truly has to be considered because there was, I mean, you don't give up every single weekend and then you have no weekend with your child to do something with them. It's just like a hard thing. I've tried to reach out over the last nine months, and I shared that with you just over text, that I've made efforts to reach out and I met with just the answer, no, no, no, no, no. So now I'm in a position that I'm going to have to file for a custody modification.

I don't know what your experience is, if you have ever had to do that or if you've ever had to... our order states that we have to go to mediation before we see a judge, which I had requested that because I feel like if you can amicably between the parties come up with a solution, you are making the decision, the court's not making the decision. And I think that's the most mature thing, but it seems as if my mind's one place and his is like completely somewhere else and he does not want to hear anything that I have to say.

So to answer your question, Javi and I have never gone in front of a judge for custody purposes. Even when we don't see eye to eye, we had our lawyers sit down with us, the four of us in a room. We've never seen a judge. Joe and I actually have only ever seen a judge one time and it was in regards to moving to Delaware. And at that time, Joe was already out of state. So he was already living in New Jersey. I was correctly filing to relocate. And so that was the only time. But any other time we've always been able to mediate, Chris and I have never been able to mediate. So it has always gone in front of a judge.

And my biggest advice to you, I mean, is to do exactly what you're doing. And I agree with you trying to get mediation done first, because I promise you that at the end of the day, whether you see a judge and the judge grants you what you want or not, you're still not going to be happy because the child might not be happy. And so, you know, I had a recent experience where it was going to go to a judge and you could tell the judge was not going to rule in one of our favors. And so it was sort of like the fire to light under someone's ass, like get some mediation

and work this out yourselves because you're not going to like what I decide. And so that's what we did. And so I think that you're doing the right thing and you're taking all the right steps. I think that it's, it's hard because I do understand both part, both sides of this. Like I, I truly do. I see both sides of it, but I think the age that Jackson is at, he's a full year older than Lincoln. He is at the age where I do think that you should take into consideration what it is that he wants. And I don't always say that, right? Like, and it doesn't always, I think the hardest part for parents in this circumstance is that he's not choosing who he loves more. And that's what it feels like.

It feels like maybe for Will, that maybe Jackson loves you more, but that's not the case. That's not the case at all. Kids thrive off stability. They thrive off of just wanting to be comfortable and be in one place. And I think if the roles were reversed and it was like, Will was wanting him full time, I don't even know because I do feel like Jackson's a little closer to you, but that doesn't mean he loves Will less than he loves you is what I'm trying to say. Relationships just look very different. And I think from a parental standpoint, I can manage certain things a little bit better,

but I talked that up to just the fact that I had him home with me for so long before he started school, right? And it was me and him, so we had to learn how to navigate each other in that way. And Will's just very diplomatic with him, which tends to a lot of times not work. And I try to remedy the problem with having conversation. And that doesn't mean that that's the right way to parent. I'm not saying that. It just seems to work for us better. And I would even be willing to say, hey, like for stability for him, but also stability

for us, because then you can tell your job, hey, I just can't travel Mondays, but any other days of the week is like fair game. I would be willing. We're only looking at me having one extra day, right? So it would be like Tuesday through Friday. And then if it was my weekend, then it would be Tuesday through Sunday. And then Will would get him back on Monday. He would come back to me for the school week and then Will would have him for the following weekend. And so I feel like it would create better stability for him and his job, better stability

for Jackson, better stability for me to be able to plan. The way that I puked yesterday after I sent him a text that has not been answered, I said, I want to adjust the custody schedule based off the last year of data. You should be able to tell your job that you can't travel on Mondays, you can keep every other weekend. This is not a discussion will I can present you with the evidence. This is not to be mean, but for stability, not only for him, but for everyone. I do expect some correspondence. Hungry root, let's talk about it. It's like having your own personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped into one. They take care of the weekly grocery shopping, recommending healthy groceries and meals tailored to your taste,

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They also only source top quality meat and seafood free from hormones and antibiotics. You're going to love Hungry Root as much as we do. Take advantage of this exclusive offer. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com slash combos and use code combos. That's hungryroot.com slash combos code combos to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for a life. HungryBoot.com slash combos code combos. 2024 was, and I'm speaking from experience, a year of absolute chaos in some of the best ways, but also some of the worst ways, right? So travel wise, it was unhinged. And that

was something that was brought to my attention in terms of custody as well. I already felt that and I decided and this is not a shot at will in any way, shape or form. I broke down to Kristen and I said, I cannot travel like this anymore. And I think that that is so difficult and so hard for any parent, whether you're the mom, the dad, whatever, is trying to figure out what the balance is. And so for Will, it's like, maybe this was a great, because he wasn't always traveling like this, right? Like prior to, like when you guys established the custody plan, that's not what his job was, right? Exactly. So I think that that's a big difference too. And I think that that has to be looked at.

My job hasn't changed, right? But his has. He was inside sales and was in an office and was working from home from the time that we divorced up until like the last year and a half. He took an outside sales position. I'm not going to stop him or attempt to even stop him from bettering his life if that's what he chooses to do And that's what makes him happy But it's not going to change the way that we operate with our child or our child's stability

Maybe he'll start maybe this will light a fire under his ass and he'll say you know what I need to go back into An office sales position and I would hate for him to make that choice based off of custody, but at the end of the day, that's a decision that he has to make. That's not a decision for me to be involved in. I have to operate off of the facts of what I know, what I've been presented with, what I've kept record of and move from a factual standpoint. His decisions and what he chooses to do during a mediation process are going to be on him.

You also cannot make decisions based on, you know, if he chooses, not saying this is the case, but if he says, well, I'll go ahead and start looking for, you know, positions similarly to what he had before. For me, I can't operate off of the what if or the when, or the, you know what I'm saying? You know, I have a situation where he had said to me about moving closer and I said, okay, and I hope you do, but I cannot operate off of you plan to. I need to operate off of- You need what if.

Correct. I have to operate off of what is right now. Just a little further update on this. We have been asked probably a bazillion times if I can share contents of my custody paperwork. And I'm seeing so- Kayle's seen it. I wish, let me just stop you right there. I wish all judges, and this is no shot at any judge that I've worked with, and also I hope they're not listening, but I also hope they are. They should be this thorough. They should automatically come with final decision-making authority in different topics of the custody plan. And then also there should be some stuff about high conflict, like definite clear cut things

about high conflict situations when you leave things in an ambiguous way with ambiguous verbiage or something that's like, parties mutually agree? No, because we don't mutually agree on what color the sky is. So what the fuck do you think we're gonna do about kids? We can't be adults. That's why we're here and we have papers. But I will say that your custody plan

is the most thorough custody plan that I've ever seen in my entire life. And if I could literally copy and paste it, I would. I have toyed with the idea of putting kind of like slides together for like rough outlines. I think that it would- Sell them. What? Sell them.

Sell them. Templates. Coaching. Coaching. Custody templates. Lindsay, Lindsay Chrisley, custody coach. Custody. No, literally my custody paperwork is jammed up.

My attorney did a great job on it, did a great job with my county executing it. I literally went to her when I filed and I said, there better not be in this custody paperwork, anything ambiguous that he can get around because if it can be gotten around, he will find a way. There has been a situation like that in one of my situations several times because in two separate parts of one of my orders. So two of them are completely identical and then one of them is not. The same custody order, it has two completely different transportation clauses.

So what the fuck do we do with that? Again, that's not clear. No, it's not clear. And it's also like both parents must, you know, operate off of extracurricular schedules or whatever, like must take children or child to extracurriculars. Great. Okay. With how much notice?

Is it one week? Oh, no, I'm not playing that. No. Is it two months? Is it like how much notice? And then what town? Because we don't live in the same state. So what town? Am I required to do it closer to him? Is he required to do it closer to me? Is he required? Are we supposed to do middle ground? Are we supposed to do where the peers and family and relatives are? Like

where we were because we're arguing about that all the time. Welcome to Lowry and Chrisley and Associates. Could you, no Chrisley starts with a C, so that would be first. What starts with a C? Chrisley. So it'll be Chrisley, Lowry, and Associates. Oh, is that how it works? No, I don't know how it actually works. I have no idea, but I was just thinking like alphabetically speaking when you're like an author, like I have my bookshelves are finally complete. There are some books that are co-authors and they put the alphabetically, they put them alphabetically in order.

Okay. Well, I'm moving on because I need to know like, are you stanning Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds or are you Justin Baldoni fan, or do you say, fuck them all, and you love Colleen Hoover? I love Colleen Hoover. I feel bad for her first adaptation being in this massive fire. I do think that she was bamboozled. I know I've read comments, cause I did a deep dive on this case on Barely Famous before even more things came to light.

And I saw the comments, read the comments that, oh, Colleen Hoover picked her side. Okay, but we cannot confirm that she knows or knew when she quote unquote picked her side. We don't know if she knew then what she may know now. So I heard because hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Natural instinct first instinct is to believe the victim to believe the woman and I want to reiterate that and as a woman, I'm sure, I'm not gonna put words in Colleen's mouth,

but I would go out on a limb and say that she probably was trying to stand with the victim who she thought was a victim. Like we do not know what she knows or what she knew. So I read yesterday that there was allegedly a caveat in the contract that Justin Baldoni had with Colleen that she could take the rights back in the event

if there was ever a sexual harassment situation. So I want you, I'm saying all of this to say, I want you to do like a part two deep dive on this, on Barely Famous, so that I can listen to your thoughts once you've gathered further information. I've never heard that. I just saw it yesterday. Okay, if you happen to have a chance to look,

to try to find whatever you saw, can you send it to me? Cause this is the first I'm hearing of that. And I also would think that that puts Colleen Hoover in an even more incredibly difficult situation, because based on what we know now about Ryan Reynolds' involvement in all of this, I would be inclined to believe that there may not have been a sexual harassment aspect of this, but

that essentially Blake Lively is in an abusive situation. Based off of what I was deep diving on yesterday, personally, in my bed with my phone to my face, little wrap up, I feel like Blake Lively is likely between a rock and a hard place. But also caveats there too, nuances, if you will. She's a mean girl. She's a mean girl based on interviews that we've seen that cannot be disputed either. But both can be true. Both can be true. She can be a mean girl and also be in an abusive situation. 1000%. Do I think that she's a mean girl? 1000%. She should star in the next film. She should not star in any films because they're all going to get boycotted. However, I do believe that there is something going on with that marriage. I do, based off of

all of the things that I have read, the excerpts of text messages and stuff from filed lawsuits. I'm standing with Justin. I'm also standing with Justin. I also would like to say that, I think his name was, was his name Brandon? Brandon? Oh, I saw those too, yeah. He played Atlas.

He originally sided with Blake as well and then removed all of his posts and possibly his social media. I would say that he was probably also bamboozled. So it's possible that Colleen and other members were not fully versed in what was going on. I also would like to say that the, let me find out who it was.

The guy that played Atlas is also in another movie, a book movie adaptation, which is the housemaid, I believe, Brandon Slechner, Slechnor? And I was shocked because I was like, the drama from It Ends With Us didn't scare him off enough to not do the housemaid which was good. I mean, listen, it's showbiz baby. Brandon's how do you pronounce that?

But did you was he not like your favorite character? He was not who I pictured Atlas to be when I read the book. But I absolutely ended up loving, I mean, if nothing else, Justin Baldoni did a really great job casting for the movie. I'm also really happy with him in the housemaid because I'm a big Frida fan. I loved him in the movie, so I feel like I love him in real life. He's my book boyfriend. My book boyfriend. Actually Enzo from Housemate is also my book boyfriend. Actually they're all my book boyfriends. Okay.

Well, while we're talking about boyfriends. Do you have one? What? Do you have one? No. Oh. Oh. You're not getting any more from me today.

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And sometimes even, she said the only time it should ever exist is from parent to child, but even then it can be so toxic. And she was saying like the kids could end up growing up to be a piece of shit up in an adult. A diddididididida. Diddidididida. Adult, and it's still toxic.

And I thought that was really interesting. She basically goes on to say that all relationships could have conditions and that's how we hold each other accountable. And I thought that that was true, right? Like even with our kids, like we expect them to, I don't expect my kids to be certain people, but I do expect them to, and I wanna hold them accountable

to have certain qualities, like manners, but also bodily autonomy, but also be a fucking good person, but also hold up to your commitments and obligations that you have promised people, just being an overall good person. And in order to create children who grow up into those types of adults, there have to be conditions, right? Like you're not saying I will not love you anymore if you don't do this, but there have to be conditions to the relationship.

So I regularly tell Jackson in situations that I don't like his behavior. I Regularly tell him I don't like How you're acting? And I don't think it's a good quality And if you continue doing that and you don't govern yourself better You're gonna have a lot of problems with a lot of people one of those being me However, I would lay down my life for my child. I don't know of anybody else that I would take a absolute bullet for in a situation like choosing me or

you like, you know, but have you experienced people in your life that clearly have unconditional love with their parents, for example, because I know that the argument will be like, I will love my kids unconditionally, right? And I think that we can all, I think that we all can love our kids with conditions, right? Like I have experienced people who are adults

that their parents, like their mom specifically, does not see anything wrong with their behavior or does not believe that their child who is an adult now is in the wrong ever? I believe that a lot of people say things about unconditional love, but I think they're not identifying the conditions that they have. I don't necessarily think that just because somebody says, oh, unconditionally, or they show in your eyes,

you're an observer of said situation, right? How is that unconditionally loving someone when they're doing something that you know is harming them and you're not doing anything about it? That to me is not unconditional love. Right, right. I mean, just let's do a simple example. Your kids are playing with a ball on a busy street.

And you didn't see it, but you walk out and you see it. Right? I'm going to tell you about yourself because I love you. I don't want you to be harmed. So in the situation that you're giving, why would someone, how is that unconditional love? What about the situation, like the parenting plan that you're talking about, right? Like you touched on, you said, you know, it would hurt your feelings if, you know,

Jackson was wanting to stay with you because he loves you more and was not really wanting to be around his dad, right? Like that's concerning, but you love him enough and you respect Will enough as his other parent that you're like, I feel like this is in the best interest of Jackson or vice versa. Using Will as the example, Will loves his son so much that maybe he realizes,

okay, this is in the best interest of Jackson to stay with Lindsay for X, Y, and Z, because this is the most stable route. That is love with conditions. That's love with purpose. That's love with the intention to raise the best well-rounded adult. Right? Those are still conditions, right? Or no? Are we getting it all wrong? Everything comes with conditions. I really don't believe, I believe to say unconditional love is something that people say, not is what people do. So what is unconditional love?

Right? Like, that would be great for us to be able to identify that. One time I actually said, like, I said to somebody, like, I unconditionally love you, but I would find myself in certain situations where there was a condition. I'll give you an example. Someone does something in a relationship that is bad to me, bad to the relationship, poor reflection on their character, whatever.

I'm going to call you out on your shit and I'm going to feel a type away and I'm not going to like you. At my core, I love you, but I don't like those things that you did to me and I'm going to feel a type away and I'm not going to like you at my core. I love you, but I don't like those things that you did to me and I'm not going to accept those. So in my opinion, I can love you, not like you, but that is a condition. The only example of unconditional love that I can think of is when, and I don't know if this is unconditional love, was when I was with someone who was a habitual and serial cheater.

And after every single time he cheated, I took him back every single time and I would say, I love you unconditionally. And that to me was an example of unconditional love, but it was also a sign of weakness, cross boundaries. It was an example of he did not respect me. He did not care because he knew at the end of the day he could do whatever the fuck he wanted and I Still was gonna take him back and I did I feel like

Taking somebody back in those situations repeatedly Might be an example of unconditional love for that person but hate for yourself Yeah, or or maybe not even hate, but just like, no. I mean, no respect for myself. You forwent everything that you felt to be with that person, for that person to fill whatever void that you were looking for at that time,

knowing that those situations, you're putting yourself back in a situation that it was gonna be a repeated pattern and they were gonna continue to do the same thing over and over again and you were willing to accept it. Yeah. It's also an example of having conditions in place because I think it was a condition that we didn't cheat on each other and a condition that we didn't lie to each other.

And then one person doesn't live up to it and is constantly doing those things. And then so the conditions were not upheld. So then what's the point of setting conditions, right? Like we all need to get better about that. Let's just not say, I love you unconditionally because it's- I'm never saying that again in my whole life. No, I'm never saying that because no, we literally love each you. Because I can also love you from a distance, right? I wouldn't say that I hate Suzy, right?

I don't hate her. I love her because she's my mom and I think sometimes she tried her best. But the condition is in order for you to be a part of my life, you have to be sober and you have to be healthy and you're neither of those things. So conditionally speaking, I love you, but with conditions. Okay. So we do have a listener topic that I wanted to be able to get to. I saw this on the Facebook group. She says, totally posting out of curiosity. It's made me think of you actually, when I was reading it.

I've never done this. I've literally never done this. I would, but I haven't. That's why it made me think. Do you ever or have you ever offered or traded sex or a sexual act to get something that you want in a relationship? For context, I love to sleep in. We have three little, so sometimes I ask my husband if I give him a blow job, I can sleep in the next morning.

It's always a hands down yes for him. It's a win-win for both of us. Okay, I love that for you. I love that it yes for him. It's a win-win for both of us. Okay, I love that for you. I love that it's working out and it's a win-win for both of you, but that's also abuse, so. I feel like that is slightly accepted abusive behavior, because if I wanna give you a hand job or a blow job,

then that's coming from my soul. I want to do that. Right? And that's not going to be able to sleep in because, okay, so I have a couple of friends that I don't know how you and Elijah do this and I've been meaning to ask you. I have a couple of friends that have littles like y'all and they switch off nights still. Like they're way past the And they switch off nights still. Like they're way past the like newborn infant age, kids still wake up super early in the morning. So if it comes a weekend, it's like Saturday's mom's day and Sunday's dad's day.

And dad gets up with kids on Saturday and mom gets up with kids on Sunday. I love that. I think that's a great compromise. But I don't think that we have to give blowjobs to like be reasonable. No, I think this, I mean, I would be curious. And I don't want to lose a listener, right? Like, I love you. I thank you for listening and writing this in, but I'm actually highly concerned about your relationship if this is how you're operating.

Because if you're operating like this for something like this, I'm thinking that there are some bigger concerns as well. But can we play devil's advocate for just a second? I thought that this was going somewhere. I literally told someone yesterday because I'm looking at buildings for my new business. The rent in one of the buildings was like 20 something thousand. I was like, oh, I will put my house up for collateral and sell my ass next to Dollar General. Like I always like make

jokes. That's where I thought this was going. Right? Like I'm going to sell my ass to make sure I can pay the 20,000 in rent for this facility. Like 1000% would do it.. I mean, this to me feels abusive. But what if she just like gives him a blowjob and then she just like gets to sleep in? Like is that still abuse? Yes. That's like coercion in my opinion. Like you're basically, your needs, I don't know. I'm not-

This is gross, this is a felony. No, no, no, like I'm actually concerned because this is something where she's expressing her needs and she says she likes to sleep in. No, if you have three littles, you probably need to sleep in and sleep deprivation will do wild things to people. So if your need is that you need to sleep in

and your partner is basically telling you no, but you're offering a blowjob. To me, that just feels really not okay. It's giving like sucking dick for three hours of sleep. Yeah, I don't like that. Your partner should not be doing that. Like if your partner can get up in the morning, then your partner needs to get up in the morning no matter like, whether you give them a blowjob or not.

Like, if I'm sleepy, and I'm talking like back whenever I was married, and I'm that tired, then I'm sleeping for three hours for free. After it's hard to me. Okay, but here's the thing. Kristen said the concern on Kayla's face right now after saying she'd hook on the corner of Dollar General is wild. Okay, because it's my choice to go hook on the corner because sex work is work, right? Sex work is still a job. So if I choose to sell my own body to pay rent somewhere, that is my own choice and my own doing to basically bribe someone that is supposed

to love you with conditions, um, that's supposed to love you. The condition should not be a blow job, but I'm also not in the business of telling people how they should ruin, how ruin, how they should run their relationships. It's just concerning to me. If Elijah, if I'm telling Elijah, Hey, I like like I'm exhausted. I really need to sleep for three hours in the morning. And he looks at me like I'm not getting up with these fucking kids. And then I say, Oh, I'll suck your dick if you let me sleep for three hours. Like, do you realize how fucking crazy, hold on, let me call him. I'm calling him. This is very different than like you do dinner and I do bath. No, because I… Hold on. Oh my God. I'm concerned.

No, because this is… Because she doesn't realize that she's in a really fucked up situation. Babe, I'm so fucking tired. On Saturday, can I sleep in for three hours? Okay. That's fine. If that's what you need. So are you going to…

Do you need a blowjob or something in exchange? Oh, that would be nice. No but I'm saying like in exchange for letting me sleep in. I like where you going with this. Yes, yes, we can make that happen. But what is it a requirement? No, it's not a requirement. Okay, let's just on the record, he said yes before I offered the blowjob. Okay.

But he likes the idea better with the blowjob. He likes the idea. Correct. Okay, so that's fair to me, but like to sit here and say like, and so I need more context from her. Okay. All right, love you. Bye. Chris, Kristin said that this was a thread on the Facebook group, which is

where I saw it. But she evidently was reading comments and said it's very common sexual favor trading. Then she proceeds to say that she's going to start writing Elijah's obituary. That's called added value? What is that? What is... The blowjob is added value to the situation. All I had to do was call him and say, hey, I'm so tired. I need to sleep in for three hours on Saturday.

And he was like, okay, if that's what you need. That's literally what came out of his mouth. Kristin's saying it's called added value because he liked it better with the BJ. Well, anyone would like it better with a BJ, but I am hoping that that is the situation for this listener topic, because if not, I am concerned. And on that note, if we have not been foul enough this episode, we have foul play. I have waited a very long time to submit a foul play

because I didn't know how to submit one, so here it goes. I was 14 years old and my brother was a student at Auburn University in Alabama. My parents were going down to visit him one weekend. So I asked if my boyfriend could join us and she agreed. At the time, my mom had a van and she had taken the backseat out. So there was more room in the back. I told my mom since it was a few hour drives, I wanted, I told my mom since it was a few hours drive, I wanted to lay in the back and take a nap. I asked if my boyfriend could lay with me. She was reluctant, but she

agreed. I know where this is going. After a little bit, we got the bright idea of me giving him head since no one could see us. I was young and dumb. So I agreed. Just a little while after that we arrived at all born and everyone got out. My mom looked kind of annoyed, but she always has resting pitch face. Plus I thought she may have been tired from the drive. So I didn't think much of it. I went to the side of the van to get stuff out. And my mom looked at me and said, you know, the back glass has a reflection in the rear view mirror. I almost died right there in the parking lot. I was mortified. Obviously she got a front

row seat to me giving my boyfriend head. Needless to say, I was mortified. Obviously she got a front row seat to me giving my boyfriend head. Needless to say, I was pregnant the next year at 15. Had my first child at 16. We got married, had two more kids by the time I was 21. We have been divorced since 2004. But that is a memory we laugh about all these years later. LOL, I hope y'all enjoyed the laugh from my embarrassment. This is my favorite podcast and I'm an avid listener. Love you girlies. Well, you know what your mom can't really be mad at anyone but herself because truly she could have stopped it while it was happening. I mean, I don't know. I don't know that as a mom if that was transpiring in my minivan

that I would think that I would look through the rear view mirror and somebody would be brazen enough to be going up and down. It's not up and down. Like an up and down elevator type situation. No, that's a no for me. Why couldn't we do a blanket situation? Not that I'm giving anybody ideas, but a blanket situation and stuff, be fiddling and fingering. I also was doing wild shit at this age, so I definitely think, um, she wasn't alone,

but that's just crazy. Like your mom had an attitude about this when she could have been like, hey, that's enough. Kristen's always hit the side by side position for fuck's sake. I mean, these kids knew better. Come on. But I'm glad they laugh about it now. I'm very alarmed. Thank you guys for always supporting our show.

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