Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Breaking Points & Letting Anger Go

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

CC270: Kail has reached a breaking point with a coparenting situation this past week and shares her emotions. Lindsie talks about breaking point from the day before. Lindsie doesn't want to do single people things and shares her desire to be in a commited relationship. Both girls agree that society and social media has distorted how we see relationships. Kail asks what kind of things around the house were you not able to compromise with your partner. Lindsie agrees that men should get vasectomies instead of women getting their tubes tied. Facebook group posts have us concerned for stuggling new moms and vague custody agreements.. An update on the office affair Foul Play! Thank you to our sponsors!Bartesian: Text CONVOS to 64000 for FREE cocktails and FREE shipping with your new BartesianStamps: Visit Stamps.com and use promo code COFFEE for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale!Kikoff: Apply right now at Kikoff.com to start building a better credit score

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship,

family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Lindsay, are you there? Yeah. Technical difficulties this morning and my emotional roller coaster, I swear to God.

So I was saying, when I thought you were late, I was like, OK, I'll go cry to Kristen really quick because I'm not because you were late, though. So OK, Lincoln's in two basketball leagues, and me and Habi don't talk at all. So it's just really fucking awkward. Like when we see each other, it's so fucking awkward. So yesterday we go to his little football team

signing because he's signing to a new team or whatever. And I'm like, he wouldn't even take a picture with me for Lincoln. So it was just really weird. And then I said, did you pay the deposit already? And he goes, no, not yet. And that was the end of it. That was the only.

It was just so fucking awkward, right? So we all have other kids. Well, Lux and Creed's cousins are friends with Habi's family and also my family. And they all kind of have kids the same age. And so when it came to flag football, Habi, myself, and Brandon, which is the other coach, which is the boy's cousin, have always been really close

when it comes to sports. So I asked him, what time is Lincoln's game on Saturday because he's the coach? And then second, we were talking about flag football or whatever. And he told me that Lincoln's brother is on his son's team. And then I low key felt left out because not only did we used to all be like best friends during all sports seasons,

but also I'm going to cry again. It's OK. You can cry. Because this is honestly, let me tell you, everyone welcome to Coffee Converse Podcast Therapy because that's what this is today. Yeah, that's what this is. So his son is on Lincoln's brother's team.

And I'm trying to be nice about not saying his other kid's name. So I was low key upset because I'm like, well, Lux and Cree don't get to play with their cut. They don't get to be on the same team. And I don't want to sign them up now because I don't want Javi to pull his other son out if we're there because of Lauren. I don't want it to be that way.

And so I'm upset. So I'm texting Brandon about Saturday, like what time is the game on Saturday? And he's like, oh, Lincoln's not going to be there. And I'm like, what? Not only did Javi not tell me that Lincoln wasn't going to be there, so I have to email him myself and find out. I would have showed up to my son's game

on top of that. Chris doesn't take Lux to his games on Saturday. So like when he has them, so Lux won't be at his game. Lincoln won't be at his game. And then I'm upset also because Lux and Cree won't get to play football with their cousin. So I texted Brandon, I'm like, I'm low key upset. Like I'm upset, but I don't want to cause waves.

So I'm not going to do anything about it. You're very upset and emotional about this. And I feel like it's because what you knew at one time is no longer, and you want that back. And I think in co-parenting situations that a lot of people can relate to that because when circumstances change and it's oftentimes when another person gets in another relationship,

if not managed properly and maturely, then it ultimately has a trickle down effect and affects not just you as the parents, but it ultimately affects the kids the most and then their engagements with other people. I also had that experience with Will last year. Actually, he and I weren't getting along last week. And I text him and I was like, listen,

I don't have to be your favorite person and you certainly are not mine. But one person is my favorite person and that's Jackson. And I know he's your favorite person too. So we need to get our shit together. And we will run a fakery bakery around that situation because I just think that it is in the best interest of the kids. And I don't say show up and be fake.

But I think it's in the best interest of the kids. Like hash out the problems, be done with it, and move on because life is short and kids grow up too fast. And then once the time's gone, you can't get it back. Right, right. Well, he just texted me and was like, you can have them put. You can still sign them up. And I was like, I don't want to cause waves.

Like contrary to popular relief. And if Javi, if you're fucking listening to this, please know that this is not about like nobody's talking shit just to piss you off. Like this isn't about you. This is about the kids. So I'm not, I don't want to cause waves. And I don't want them to be pissed because like last night

when we went to Lincoln's football signing for the tackle situation, the flag thing came up. And I was like, well, I didn't know. And so I don't want them to then be like, well, if Kale, I don't want them to be pissed off if they're like, well, Kale now heard, you know, and if I also, if I was an afterthought or like if the kids were an afterthought with like letting me know about the football

signups or whatever, because again, this is a new league for flag for them. If I was an afterthought, I don't want to be included. If my kids were an afterthought, I don't want to be included. It's not simple. I can understand, I can understand that too. But like how nice would it be if you guys could all be at the same place at the same time watching all of your kids

come together, even Javi's other child, because you have always said like you are an advocate for Lincoln having a relationship with siblings that he would have from Javi and your kids. And so how nice would it be for you guys to be able to go through that flag football season with the other kids and be able to make it through and all be in a better place?

Like it's going to have to be uncomfortable before it's comfortable again. And that's the unfortunate part. I mean, they go to Lincoln's games, you know, whenever and by day, I mean, you know, his whole family goes and I go by myself. Like I, it's me and Lux usually. Sometimes I bring Creed and it's just me and I go

and it's not a great time when we're completely against each other, I guess. And we're on two separate, not even on different sides of the bleachers, we're on two different sets of bleachers. Like we won't even go. So it's think circa 2019 when me and Lauren are like screaming for Lincoln from opposite sides of the field, it's like that.

I do think though that you have to get to a place where you can have an adult conversation with each other, the parents of Lincoln, you and Javi having this conversation. And even if Lauren wanted to be present for this conversation, if she's going to be involved, you guys have to come together and have a meeting of the minds and realize that like this is not an ideal situation. The ideal scenario is for a child to have both

of their parents in the same home doing the same things with their child that they created, but that is not the reality. And so you have to make the best of the reality of what you have. And the kids are going, even their other child is going to feel the negative impact if you guys can't get it together and be able to get along.

And I say that because I know what it feels like to be toxic and I only have one. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like with multiple kids, with multiple dads, with significant others involved. That to me is just mass chaos and there's no reason for it to be chaotic. And I also want to say before we move on from this,

I think the emphasis that you put on sports because you had a mom who was uninvolved, the amount of involvement that you want to have and you want your kids to do, do, do, that when you're feeling this way, you feel like your kids are missing out. It kind of goes to your point that you've said before that you've said this multiple times,

like we're already giving up so much of our time when we split up, let this goes for all parents. Like when you split up, whether it's 50, 50 or 223 or whatever your schedule is, you're already giving up so much. So it also feels like when Lux doesn't show up to his games, I'm then missing the game with him. That's a memory that we have.

Or when Lincoln doesn't go, I know he'll be going to do something with his family, but he also has a commitment to the team and I'm missing out on that memory with him too. It just feels like, I don't know, that part of it for me, I know is a little selfish because it's like I live to go to my kids' sports, but like Saturdays are, Lincoln has a game,

Lux has a game, I'm already missing so much and now we're not gonna have that game. You're gonna go do something else and then where do I stand? I don't get to go spend time with them. Well, I do think that there has to be communication there if nothing else, because if you show up to a game that you think that your child's gonna be at

and then they're not even playing and there's been no communication, that ultimately boils down to just a lack of complete respect. So I think that's a whole other issue. Interesting that you say that and would love to hear from other parents who are listening to this, who are in co-parenting situations.

Jackson has winter break coming up and they made it to the playoff. So they had their first playoff game this past Saturday. They won, so then they're playing again Saturday, but that is the first weekend to start winter break. So I had planned to take Jackson to Florida and Will, in my kitchen, he's like, well, I certainly hope that you don't plan

to go to Florida before that game and I'm like, if you didn't say it like that, I wouldn't have had any issue, but now it makes me want to buck the system and be like, I'll choose if I want to take him to the game or if I don't, no one damn well that I was taking him to that game. I've been there, I fucking been there.

We're just like, you didn't have to piss me off that way. Yeah, like you didn't have to- It's the wrong one. You didn't have to come in here and guns blaze and telling me about my schedule and like where I was gonna be on Saturday at 12.15. Like Lord. So are you taking him to the game

or are you not taking him to the game? No, I am because this goes back to you and I talking about commitments and I can very much read a room when it comes to my kid. I might not be able to read all rooms that I enter but when it's my child, I can definitely do that. And I know that he is so committed to his basketball team. Now, if he wasn't fully committed and didn't want to go

and he was like, mom, I really wanted to do the beach. I would totally be like, you know what? Will you go run the scoreboard for those other kids? Cause like he doesn't want to go. But he is so committed to his team that like I just wouldn't do that to him. I'm going to accommodate that schedule. But I do, it does drive me nuts

when games fall during times of like school breaks and then you're trying to like do your entire travel schedule around like a one hour activity. Yeah. That's so annoying. I also just like, I hate when people pick and choose when the commitment is a commitment. Like when the activity is a commitment. So like to your point, you wanted to go on,

you want to go to the beach. Like I get that wholeheartedly. I get it and sometimes it works. But like when you have a co-parent that is constantly sports, sports, sports, like this, that and the third running two miles every day. But we're going to go to the water park all weekend instead of your game.

It's like, no, you should schedule that for after the basketball season. Your situation is a little different cause it's like winter break. So you don't really, you can't reschedule that. Yeah. We're not just like going to the water park, but I will also say I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends the other day about, you know,

I do think that there should be stipulations and this is probably going to sound harsh, but as our kids get older, I feel like, you know, you're either committed or you're not. And it's unfortunate for some children because they might want to be committed to something, but they don't have parents that will commit to like what they need to be committed to

so that their child can be committed. And so that's an unfortunate situation, but I see it all the time where kids won't show up for practice and then expect to be able to take up, you know, like a position on the court. And I do think that and a lot of travel teams around here do it, but if you don't practice that week,

then you don't have field spot. So I think that that should be implemented everywhere. If you can't show up for practice, then you shouldn't show up to the game thinking that you're going to just come and ball out when we were all like committed and there and present and practicing. And yeah, no, I wholeheartedly agree with that.

Like that drives me nuts. It drives me crazy too. All right, you guys with 2023, well underway, you don't want to wait any longer to level up your small business. I can speak firsthand to this, set your year up for success and get ahead of the competition by using stamps.com.

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that includes a four-week trial plus free postage, a free digital scale, no long-term commitment, or contracts, just go to stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code coffee. While we're venting though, I literally just had quite an emotional breakdown yesterday. Okay, so we're kind of on the same page right now.

I was you and it kind of like then went into this day also. So I was on my way to the Pilates studio this morning and almost got rear-ended and then saw an accident happen right before me and I like went into like the shoulder of the road and I called Kristen and I was like, just absolutely not. Like yesterday clearly bled into today and like this is just, you know,

like when you just, the week starts bad, if it starts bad Monday, it's probably just like call it a wash. Let's just keep praying for Friday. As we can see, I washed my hair, but nothing else has been done. I just had a emotional, I wouldn't say like a breakdown, but it was just like one of those days

where everything felt like it was going wrong and it's felt like it's been going wrong for quite some time and I try to just like mask it and be like, you know what? It's okay. Like I can do something else and just like get this done and I'm like a task rabbit. Like I'm trying to get all of these things done and trying to just like suppress sad emotions.

And if I just get through this day, then I can go to bed and then wake up and then like tomorrow will be okay. And I think that I just reached a breaking point yesterday and just, I don't want to say snapped. I just like started crying. And feels like me right now. Yes. Oh my God.

Just like the little, it was just like a little, cause like this isn't stuff I should be crying about. That probably wasn't stuff that you should be crying about, but like you just, it was just like the breaking point. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back. What I've learned through therapy is normally the breaking point isn't what, like why you're breaking down.

The breaking point is just the point that all the other things have compiled on top of each other until you get to that point of you no longer can hold it. So then it's normally like one small thing that happens and you're just like, okay, fuck it. Like everything, everything in life is a shit show. But I don't know. I think that I sometimes just feel like I'm so alone

because I work at home by myself all the time. And then I have Jackson 50% of the time. And so I'm just alone a lot. And I just feel like, you know, just like working, task-grabbing, just like trying to get shit done, something else happens. And then I'd like try to course correct and like fix that thing.

And it's something every single day. And I don't feel like, even though I have therapy, I don't feel like I have a sounding board and I miss that from... A partner. A partner, yeah, I do. Yeah, I agree. I think I can also resonate with that a lot

because I feel the same way. I try not to burden Elijah with my co-parenting stuff. It's not his problem. And also he can't really understand it. So I just try not to do that. And so, and then Kristen has so much on her plate that I try not to like go there either. And so I hear you when you say like,

there's no sounding board because I also don't wanna bring every single little problem to the podcast either. And sometimes it just happens when we least expect it. Like we're not gonna just like get on the podcast every day event. You know what I mean? But then sometimes it's just funny

that we both showed up the exact same way today. And I can very much... That was something that when I was in the relationship with suburban dad, he was a great sounding board because he also was co-parenting. And so like that was an outlet for me to be able to share and he had been doing it for longer than I had. So to be able to just share with someone

that can relate with you like on that level. It's probably really nice. To the point that you're saying, like you don't wanna inundate Kristen with all of like your problems that you probably need to be talking about in therapy. I do feel like in our business, we are such close personal friends.

And then also work together so closely that you don't wanna have to be each other sounding board all the time because you're also like running a business. And it's like, okay, well, they don't wanna hear about this or you know, like I'll figure it out somewhere else. And then it does not get figured out and it just feels so alone sometimes. And I think that I very much underestimated

even if Will and I weren't interacting with each other but living in the same home and just knowing that like he was in the kitchen probably pissing me off but just like knowing he was there and I could walk by and like say something under my breath. It was a great release. You know? Yes.

Like, oh, fuck off. Like just so, yes, yeah. No, I get that. It's so. It's stability. It is. Yeah, it is. And I just feel, I don't wanna say like emotionally unstable

because that's not what it is that I feel like. I just feel not stable, like I'm not in a marriage. I am just me. Like I'm just me out here being me. And that's a hard, people say that like single life, you hear so many times from people like single life is great and you get to explore and you get to do all of these things and you don't have to ask someone about, you know

where you're going and what you're doing and whatever. And it's like, okay, but I just think that I'm not in that part of my life anymore. Like I think I missed that boat of really like seeing all of those things out. I desire to fully be like committed to have someone to come home to every day, to do like normal married shit where I come in and probably drop a bag of groceries

and spill shit everywhere and someone helps me clean it up. And like I put clothes in the washing machine and have to wash them three times because I forgot to move it over. And like we're hustling our kids to sports and like I desire that. Yeah. That's, I feel like that's few and far between now.

I don't know if it's just the men that I've been with or if it's, I don't know. I feel like I would not want to go out on dates or like meet people now. It would be so hard and people are like, I don't know. Like I understand the desire, but I don't know how realistic it is because people are crazy.

Well, and I do think that we cannot just neglect the fact that there's a whole other aspect of our lives that are so public that there is a fear there ahead of like doing any of that stuff. So I think my instinct would be that person is and this is for the wrong reasons or, you know, like all the things that I would have to think about or that you would have to think about,

some people might not necessarily have to think about. Like I don't want somebody, like I'm not inviting people into my life. I don't even invite like new friends, like let alone, like no new friends. No new friends. Speaking of like relationship shit, I saw something on social media.

It was like this guy talking and he was saying how there's always one girl that most men will run back to you if they're not healed. He will try to recreate her or mess with multiple women at the same time to complete the package. Do you feel like you've seen that in men or do you not really get out? Like you don't really date, I don't think, do you?

I mean, I guess you don't have to date. Are you putting me on the spot? No, no, no, no. No, I don't think that you have to date, I guess, to think that way, like to see that as a point. But I felt like that was kind of valid because I dated someone, one of my baby fathers, we'll play the guessing game.

He had said if he could be with all three of us at the same time and we would be okay with it, he would have everything that he ever wanted. I already know who it is. So I just like resonated with that because I'm thinking like while we're like talking about dating and like wanting, you kind of want to settle down with somebody, right?

So I went nasally now from crying, that makes sense to me, right? Like I don't even think I would want to date because I feel like so many men would just mess with other women. Well, here's the thing, I 1000% agree with that statement altogether. I think that ultimately, and I'm going to add like cheating to this aspect,

I think that that happens when a person is not a healed person or not hold themselves. I don't think a whole person who is also a healed person is out here making those types of decisions. So ultimately it is the cheater or the unhealed person that is seeking those types of things. Like to say I find all of these qualities and it takes three women to satisfy me,

you're the problem, not one, two or three of those women. And to me, if you can't find all the qualities you need in the one person, then that tells me that you are not a person that's maybe meant to be in a monogamous relationship. Okay, so like basically stop trying to make it work in monogamous relationships if you're clearly not built for that life and that's okay,

but you have to be honest with yourself and you have to be honest with your partner. I 1000% agree to that because essentially the person that is wholeheartedly in that relationship like you were and your expectations are I want a commitment and like I want you to be committed to me like I am committed to you,

but that person doesn't have those qualities to be able to be committed in that way. They need to get really honest with themselves to say, it's taking three women to satisfy me. So I am not a man that is built to be in a monogamous relationship or it simply just might be he needs to continue exploring until he finds the one that can satisfy him

instead of seeking it in three different women. Right, because I think something that a former friend told me was like no one is ever gonna be a 10 out of 10, right, like nobody, we all need to kind of get that out of our heads that we are someone that checks off every single box because even the person that checks off every single box on paper

is gonna be missing something somewhere, right? And same goes for us, like as women, whether you date men or women, whatever, no one is ever gonna be 10 out of 10. So we also need to be real with ourselves. Men need to be real with themselves that even the perfect woman is not gonna be a 10 out of 10.

It's society though, society has- This is true and social media. Yeah, has truly manipulated us and distorted what real relationships really look like. And I think that that's why you see generations ago, they didn't have these types of problems because they didn't have the access that we have today. This is true, this is true.

And I think that that also, a 10 out of 10, you have to be very clear with what is a boundary and what is a deal breaker. If something is a deal breaker to you and that person has that quality, you need to be committed to that being a deal breaker because I think that's where the toxicity comes in. When you try to make something work,

when you know that you've identified that that is a deal breaker, then it should be a deal breaker. There should be no continue on and then hope that that changes. Like you can't be going into a situation knowing something they have presented this quality, you don't like it, you don't want it,

you don't want that in your life. Goes back to being honest with yourself. Like if you can't, if it's not something that you can live with long-term, either shut up and deal with it or get the fuck out. So I got myself and Elijah a cute little cocktail martesian. And so it's kind of like an in-home bartender, okay? You know, I'm not like a super drinker,

but like a nice cocktail here and there is pretty nice. Okay, since you told me about this, I also have one on order and I'm excited for it to get here. One thing that was a big seller for me is I love cocktails, but the other thing that was a big seller is partesian is a sleek machine. It's the size of a coffee maker

and it makes premium cocktails at the touch of a button. So win, win. And if I'm gonna drink, I prefer rum and you can do like gin, rum, tequila, vodka, whiskey, any, whatever your thing is and you just press mix, which is really nice. And now for a limited time, you'll get free cocktails and free shipping

with your new martesian, just text combos to 64,000. Text combos to 64,000 for free cocktails and free shipping, text combos to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply, see terms for details. I say, because if I do die, I'm gonna ask the Lord, let me haunt you. We so often hear about those that don't make it out of danger alive,

but what about those that do? My body got warm and just said, get up. You're not done, get up. I'm Caitlin Van Maal, back with a brand new season of I Survived. The more I begged him, the happier and the more excited he got. Join me for new episodes of I Survived every Monday

and subscribe now, wherever you listen to podcasts. And speaking of that, it reminded me and I put it on our little topic sheet. What is like, what are some household items? Like say you settled down with somebody or with Will or with suburban dad, whoever you've been in a relationship with. What are some things that you guys don't compromise on

and you use like different products or you do things differently? Like for me, I always, with every partner, have always used a different toothpaste than them. So we just buy our own toothpaste, right? Like my grandparents, when I used to go to the grocery store with my grandmother, her and my grandfather drank two different milks.

So she would always get a half gallon of her milk and a half gallon of his milk. Like what are your, I guess, not deal breakers, but like what are your items that you will not share? Okay, that's so interesting and I love this so much and would have never even thought of it. But okay, so with Will, because I basically like trained him up as a man, you know?

So we just learned to like everything together, right? Like we would try things together, do things together. So everything that we had was pretty much the same. I mean, there were certain things that were in the refrigerator that Will was gonna use like hot sauces and shit that like I wasn't gonna use. But as far as having like two separate milks, no, he was gonna fold and be like,

that bitch has to have lactose intolerant milk. So like lactose free, fine, whatever. If I wanna take a swig, it's gonna be lactose free. Got it. I don't think that we've ever had different, ever had different toothpaste or anything like that. Now that I am divorced, have been in another relationship and see how he does things

and the products and stuff that he uses. I think just because I'm older, none of that, like it probably would have driven me nuts in my first marriage of having like a bunch of different stuff and like that would have felt chaotic to me, but now that I'm older, I can't expect someone to conform to things that I like when they've like lived this whole life in a different way.

Like I know suburban dad told me one time that he hadn't bought milk in his refrigerator in like six years and I buy milk every single week. So I'm like, that absolutely would not work. Like we would have milk in the refrigerator. But also I just, I think there's certain things that I'm just like, I wouldn't care. I'm gonna buy what I like and you buy what you like

or I'll go to the store and buy what you like and what I like and in general, I'm not, okay, I will say this though. I will not be a, I don't even like being a cook at all. Like I'm not a chef. But I always grew up with my grandmother and my mom saying I'm not a short word cook. Like what I put on the table is what you're gonna eat.

Like if you're talking about, he likes this kind of sausage and I like that kind of sausage. It's like, no, like we're gonna figure out how we both like the same one cause like I'm not cooking two of ones. Like no, that's not a thing. But this is another interesting thing and I have thought about this,

like the way that suburban dad folds clothes. You hate it or you like it? No, I hate it. You're like, this is absolutely not gonna work. You will conform to my laundry folding. You will conform. Okay, so I had posted on Instagram like this little towel folding thing.

And it was like three different ways that you can fold towels like the most common ways. And I'm a trifolder. And I grew up learning to trifold my towels and that's how you see them at like fancy hotels and shit. Like spas, like it's nice. It's like a grandma way to do it. And my nanny taught me how to fold towels.

You making a square out of a towel, no. Like it doesn't even look good. And like, no. What do you mean making a square? So it's like, I think I also trifold my towels. I'm very particular about how my towels look in the closet. Like I want them to look nice and crisp. Yeah, they need to look nice and crisp

and not just like fold it up looking all bunchy and shit. Like, no, you fold it like in half, right? And then you fold that half in half. Yeah. And then you fold over and then you fold over. Okay, I'll take a video of how I fold mine and we'll post it. Cause I don't know if I trifold.

Okay. All right, we'll take a video. We'll take a video. Wait, so tell me, are there specific things that you and hot neighbor, like you all just like don't agree on and like you're not compromising on them? Like I'm confused.

Yeah. So toothpaste is one of them. Like he loves his charcoal stuff. So he has like a charcoal toothpaste, charcoal toothbrush. I have the Moder toothpaste that I've been using since you got me into it. That's what I got too.

And I have just like a regular toothbrush. And then body washes, like he, he really likes O-lay, but I'll use like pretty much anything. He does not like the smell of my watermelon scrub or my watermelon body like shave oil. So I try not to use like his thing is to shower together. Like that's what he just like, that's his love language.

So I won't use those if we shower together. And then for hot sauce, I do not like, I think it's called Texas Pete's hot sauce. I don't like that one. I just think it's like too, I don't know, I don't like it. Well, he loves it. I am just like Frank's hot sauce or,

or he likes, I think it might be the Louisiana. Frank's put that shit on everything. I love Frank's and he doesn't, he just doesn't like it. And he also, he loves crab and I'm not a crab person. So like if he's, if he's picking up crabs to eat, like I know that he's either gonna make me a meal or I'm gonna order out.

So those are like the things that I'm like, we just, if it's crab night for him, we are not eating the same thing. Okay, but like I think that's perfectly fine and so mature, but I don't think that that would have been the case of me and my first marriage. We were always eating the same thing, like always doing the same thing,

always having the same stuff. Like if I was buying toothpaste or Will was buying toothpaste, it was just, we both were getting the same pack from Costco. You know, like, yeah. No, there are certain things that I'm just like, absolutely not. I can't. But it's funny because there is a specific recipe

that I make like a buffalo dip that calls for Frank's hot sauce. And it doesn't taste the same if you use a different hot sauce. Yeah, exactly. But Tabasco is good as fuck on like collard greens or something like that. So good because the consistency,

I've got a lot of hot sauces in my fridge. Maybe I'll do a little perusing for you guys on stories and show you what I got. A little perusing. A little perusing. A little perusing. Okay, so while we're on this, I saw this TikTok, it was Alex Cooper

and she was talking about spray tanning. And I one need to know if you ever got into that trend. I feel like it's a very like blogger trend. Like all those girls are always like so spray tan and or like self-tanned. And it's just part of their weekly routine. And the thoughts of like adding that to my weekly routine and the cluster fuck that that would cause

just stresses me out in itself. But I did go through a phase where I tried to use like the self tanning like lotions or whatever. And I still have them. And I probably, I'm probably starting to look a little ashy. So I probably need to like, you know, use it. But it drives my skin out. And so this TikTok was talking about spray tanning

and the inability to do your full skincare routine when you do do a spray tan or self tanning. So I need to know like what's more important to you. Do you feel like it's more important to you to have consistent color? Or is it more important to you to do your skincare routine? So to answer your first question about, did I ever get into this trend?

No, I've gotten two spray tans in my entire life. And it is just, it's kind of like my eyelashes. I wish that I could keep up with it. I wish that was something that I was into. But I'm just, I don't love it enough to stay consistent with it. I've also never really seen a spray tanned person that it looks nice.

Like I've never seen a spray tanned person where it doesn't look orange or their hands don't look absolutely insane. My dad used to tell us to go and get that rusty shit off. He's like, nobody wants to see that. And like, look, you look like you've been playing in shit. Literally. I tend to agree.

And I think that you don't realize that it doesn't look as good as you think it does until you're not doing it. So I do think that there's some type of like mental aspect that's going on there with it. I do think that everything looks better tan just in general. But not like the streaky spray tanned or like the streaky like lotions that we like,

I've seen girls that have it like down their arm or they missed a whole section or it's like super like in the wrinkles here or they missed like under their neck. It just, I've never, and I'm not saying that there aren't girls that can do it and make it look flawless. I'm not saying that.

I personally in Dover, Delaware have never seen someone do it where it looks really nice and it's consistent and it's maintained. And also I spend so much money on my discord and my skincare products now that I, if I was to do a skincare routine, I mean, if I was to do a spray tan or like those lotions,

I would essentially do it from the neck down. So that way I could still at least do my face skincare. I think that I used to like hate that I had fair skin when I was younger because, you know, you just see like all these girls with like dark hair and olive skin and you're just like, I wanna have that skin and like God didn't give me that. So I'm gonna like genetically modify myself

and like figure out how to look like that. And I do think that a lot of people feel like I just look better and more lively when I have color and I do think that that is very much true. But as I've gotten older and I'm so committed to my skincare, I'm not willing to compromise the benefits of my skincare for the look of the tan skin.

Yeah, I agree. Like I'm leaving for Thailand next month and I'm thinking all week. I mean, it's only, is it Tuesday or Wednesday? Tuesday. Tuesday. Like for the past like four days, I'm like, should I go get like a month membership

to go tanning and I'll cover my face because like my face is the only place like at Botox right now. I have done that. I have done that before. And I will say, I don't wanna be an advocate for a tanning bed by any means because I don't think it's healthy.

But I do think to get like just a little bit of a base tan if you're going somewhere that's extremely hot because I don't wanna get burned up. Like what's, I do like a pro con on that where it's like, okay, do I go and like fry myself on the first day or do I just gradually like build a base? You know, maybe go like once or twice a week for a month

and then I'm not getting fried. That's kind of what I was thinking. Like I don't even have to get a month membership. I can just like literally pay to go for two weeks and cover my face. Cause my face I'll have makeup on or if I don't I'll have tinted moisturizer which is not a big deal.

But like also when I tell you like as white as my zipper that's what my legs look like. I don't, like when I wear shorts in Thailand and take pictures like I'm going to look crazy. Yeah, I feel like, you know what? There are certain times where I'm gonna advocate for the tanning bed and I'm like, that would probably be one of them

because nobody, I'm not trying to blind anybody with my legs. Literally, same. So much, so much same. I got on live Instagram the other day and I was talking about credit cards and my credit score and not moving into a new podcast office and all of that is because I was working so fricking hard

to get my credit score up. Cause I wanted a very specific credit card and I would not have been able to do it without kickoff because kickoff is the super easy way to build your credit card or sorry. Kickoff is a really easy way to build your credit score. And for some reason I didn't have any credit and so I really needed to build credit fast.

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That's K-I-K-O-F-F.com to build your credit score without the lift. Start today at kickoff.com. Okay, I saw this other thing too, and it was on TikTok. And it said, anger and love are two sides of the same coin. Holding onto emotions or allowing someone to affect them keeps them in your life. I can't let go of what you did, what you said,

I'm still sad, et cetera. When you seek peace, you're going to be saying a lot of goodbyes. You have to let it all go, forgive, forget, move on. We would rather sit in the shitty feelings and actually say goodbye. It's one of the biggest hurdles in letting go of a person. And I couldn't agree with this more.

And it was kind of like a conversation that I had had with my dad. And he was just kind of like reminiscing over his life and things that he felt like he did right and things that he felt like he did wrong. And he was talking about the relationship or lack fear of that he had with my biological mom and co-parenting. And I told him, I was like, you have

to get to a point in your life where there are certain things that you just have to let go of. And you can't hold on to them forever because they control you. And he said that he had talked to his therapist. And his therapist said that it's oftentimes that we hold on to things because they've been such an intricate part of our life

or a big part of our life that we feel like we lose our identity if we lose pieces of things that are even negative. So things that cause you to be angry. How do you live without that anger anymore? That's so hard. That's so fucking hard. I wish that I knew. How do you move on from the anger?

Because that's you don't want to hold those grudges and carry that because it's so heavy. But also, how do you move on? Well, and I think when I saw this TikTok, I thought of my dad and then I thought of you. And there's a lot of things that you've held on to with your mom. And I think that it is a trauma response, really,

to keep yourself grounded in the place that you are so you don't let something in your life that could be negative. And it might not be manifesting an anger at this point, but it could be in another way. And I think that you do have to get to a point in a certain place in your life, and especially as mothers, to be like, you know what? That's something that happened in my childhood.

And I'm going to do the work to let those things go because it controls pieces of your life that you don't even realize that it does because it comes out or manifests itself in different ways. It might just not be direct like the way that you're thinking of it. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's hard because I go through these phases where I feel like I don't necessarily need forgiveness or to forgive somebody, but just plain move on from a situation where there's resentment or anger or a grudge. Is there a way to just move on without working it out, I guess? Is there a way?

I do think that there is. I think that you accept the situation for what it is, and you get to a point of true acceptance. And when you get to the point of true acceptance, then I think that you can freely let it go in that way. But a lot of times I think people hold on to things because it's what they know and what they've always known. Right, right.

What my dad has always known with my biological mom is to hate her. So to hold on to that emotion, that's something that he's always held on to. Does she feel the same way? Does she feel the same way towards him? No. So she kind of has, she doesn't have those feelings?

No. What do you think it would take for him to move on from that? Do you even know? He and I have talked greatly about it. And I tried to explain to him, ultimately, Kyle and I were the collateral damage of that situation, whether it be the marriage or the lack of co-parenting or toxic co-parenting when the co-parenting was going on.

If I can move on from it, you can. And I think that as a parent, and you'll probably relate to this, when you feel like someone has wronged your child or you feel like your child was slighted in some way, I think that it's fair that he's allowed to hold on to whatever emotion that he wants to hold on to until he's ready to let it go. And because I can let something go,

doesn't mean that he can. So you're, but you have let it go. So have you let it go? Yes. I have fully let it go. So then he should as well, because now it's not about him. It should have always been about you, but maybe he needs to learn that.

And this is no shade, Todd, if you're listening. You have let it go. You've grown from it. And now if it no longer affects you, it's not about him. So whatever it was that he was taking personally towards him is no longer. I think he took personal offense to something that offended him that was done to us as his children.

OK. You know, and I think that that I can very much say that I have some of those same qualities and have experienced a little bit of that going through just a small amount of co-parenting that I've had to do nowhere near what he's had to do. But it's kind of like the same thing of, for example, the hair cutting.

We can relate it to that. There are certain things that you're going to hold on to that looks for a long period of time. Like, you'll probably look back on those scenarios. And every time you get in an argument or whatever, it will come up. Like, remember the two times that you cut his hair and Lux is like, wait, what?

You know, eventually it will get to that point. And I think as parents, when you are co-parenting and you're watching a situation and you're like, that's not healthy, you hold on to that as a fellow parent. You hold on to that even if the kids aren't. That's true. That's a good point. Tell me about this shit about vasectomies.

OK. So social media is so crazy because I. They wild. They really are. This mom, she was talking about how she had, I think it was like three or four kids. And she was like, I am not getting my tubes died. She's like, I done birth.

All these fucking kids breastfed them, took care of them in their early newborn years, or newborn stages. It's now time for him to put his body to the test. It's now time for him to go have a procedure to his body. And part of me really, whatever works for your family is what works for your family, I don't judge. But part of me was like, fuck yeah.

Make the men do some shit. It's always about the women. It's always about, I mean, if you think about it, most women that you talk to probably did most of the work when it comes to their children. They do most of the work. They're the default parent, most of them. They're in charge of breastfeeding.

They go to work, and then they come home and they're full-time parents. And a lot of dads kind of get the better end of the stick. But I wholeheartedly was like, I understand where she's coming from. It is now the dad's turn to go get a fucking vasectomy and take care of us not procreating again. Why is it always the mom or the woman's responsibility?

I agree with that, and I've also heard just multiple people who have had their tubes tied, who have had complications with that, or negative side effects from having their tubes tied, like weight gain or whatever. Oh, I've never heard that, but I believe it. I wholeheartedly believe that. And so I 100% agree.

You're doing all the work. You're carrying the baby. You're having these kids. You're raising them, doing all the things. The least you can do is go get your dick cut off and sit on a bag of peas. Come on. Like Will told me, he was like, if we decide not

to have another kid, I'm going to strategically get a vasectomy during March Madness, because I will just be sitting watching basketball anyway. And that will be the time that I'll go get my dick cut and sit on peas. I will go get my dick cut. It's fine, because he knew. I wasn't going to get my tubes tied.

That's just not a thing. That's not happening. You go get your little peepee done, and that's it. I agree wholeheartedly. Can't think of anything more that I agree with at this very moment. Period. We're done.

We're not doing this. We are absolutely not doing. It is everyone. Why do women have to get on birth control? We women have to get pregnant. Women have complications. Women get C-sections. Women breastfeed.

Women are doing all of it. We are fucking superheroes. And men, the least they can fucking do is go get a vasectomy. Period. I don't care. OK, but there are two dads that listen to this, and we love you guys.

We do. We do love y'all. We do love the guys that listen to this. But also, just understand where we're coming from. It's not an attack on your manhood. We don't want you to chop your balls off, so you're not a man anymore. We just are saying that.

Like, just do something. Just help your woman out. Like, if you really, you may even be the fucking best dad there is in the world, and help with everything. But still, you can go get a vasectomy, OK? OK, here's another thing, though. And then we're going to move on to some listener stuff.

I always felt so guilty from 2017 forward, when Will would say, if we're not going to have any more kids, I'm just going to go and get a vasectomy. And because we would have rocky times, I would encourage him not to do that because of his future. And I'm like, OK, would that be ideal if we're not going to have any more kids? Absolutely.

But are we committed to this for the rest of our life? Because I don't want to be responsible for encouraging you to go and get a vasectomy. And then you go and fall in love with some woman, and you guys want to have kids. And then it's going to come back on me that I encourage you to have this vasectomy that can't be reversed.

I mean, it can, but it would be extra loopholes to make it work. Yeah, I didn't want to carry that responsibility. So I encouraged him not to do it, not because I was trying to get pregnant, but simply because if this doesn't work out, I don't want that responsibility. And I don't want to be the party that's to blame if you guys can't create a family

that you might want to create. I mean, that's a good point. That's a really good point. But also, I'm at a point where it's like, for me, for me personally, if I'm going to go get my tubes tied, you're going to get a vasectomy. We're both doing this. We're both committed.

Bye. We're both committing. We're both committing to this together. You know what I mean? OK, I can't. I can't anymore. OK, so this person on our Facebook group says, does your local area have a Facebook group dedicated

to seeing if you're dating the same men, posting men that you're talking to and seeing if they have any red flags? I just joined, and this is incredible. What? This is incredible. I want to be on it, and I'm not even dating. OK, so we talked about this on the Southern Tee because my girlfriend, Caroline, she dates,

and she joins these groups. That's fantastic. And it's literally like, you can go in there and find out all of these things about these local men and people will just, it's like a free form where you can just go in these groups, post, are you dating, are we dating the same guy? And then people will respond and be like, no,

I don't know him, or yes, he's a skis. We went on a date, and he was cheap, or whatever. You can get so much great information, and I feel like the internet really has truly, men think they're smart, but women are smarter in this regard. And the internet has really fucked up their world. Yeah, no, the internet has fucked it up.

I want to be added to those groups just to be able to agree. Like, I need to see the team. You'll be in all these groups, in all these different cities that you don't even live, just to literally troll the groups. It's funny because Caroline also joined, there's these Photoshop groups where you can have post pictures in there, and people will help you Photoshop your photos and stuff.

What? And Caroline joins these groups just to troll these people to see their shitty Photoshop. Wait, what are they Photoshopping exactly? Well, it'll be like, hey, I have this photo from family Christmas, and this person needs to be photoshopped off the end because they're like, no longer in my family, can someone help me Photoshop this?

Then it'll be like the shittiest Photoshop job. Well, that's like, OK, so my grandfather hated pictures. We don't have a lot of pictures of him. He hated his picture taken, and so like I told you guys before on this podcast, Thanksgiving for us used to be one of those things where it was mandatory. Nobody just, there was never a year that somebody just didn't come.

You were mandated to be there. Well, my grandfather would sit in the corner in a recliner all the way in the back, and he'd go to take a picture, and then when they would go three, two, one, he would go behind somebody. Well, this one particular year that he did that, my cousins photoshopped him in, and it was shitty Photoshop, but that was the photo that we printed out,

and then we had was him because then they got pictures of him when he wasn't looking. Like he was kind of, it looked like he was looking, but like throughout the day, like him sitting in that like chair back there, and then they photo, if I can find it, I will actually text my cousins. Please find it and post it for us. I'm gonna text my cousins.

Oh my God, that's so funny. Okay, so this other person says, this is also from the Facebook group, says, I just had a baby, please tell me that this gets easier. I'm having moments where I wish that I never did this. If I could go back to my old life and just be responsible for myself, just me and my husband, I haven't slept in days,

and I just don't wanna do this anymore. Okay, so just wanna put this out there. There are certain places that like, if you feel like you are in a place where you can't do it, like you, there's baby drop-offs, not no, I don't know if this person's like at risk of like needing to drop their baby off

at like the fire station or whatever, but there are certain places that like, you can do that, and I'm not encouraging that. I'm just saying like, if- It is an option. It is an option. Also, I feel like every single person, if they're being honest, have had moments like this,

like restless nights sleep, not being able to sleep. You have a colicky baby. You have a baby that shit themselves like 25 times in one day. You can't figure out the formula. They have a rash. They're not lacking. They're, yeah, like there's a lot of scenarios

that I can come up with. I feel like that is truly just new motherhood, and it does get easier. Parts of it get easier. Yes. I have multiple children, and I still have moments where it's like, why did I do this?

Because I'm burnt the fuck out. But the newborn days, they're absolutely exhausting, and you are absolutely not alone. It does get better. I promise you, it gets better. I also just wanna say, if you're feeling like that you can't do something that's going on in your life anymore, you should definitely look into better health.

I think that's a great resource, and I'm a big advocate for just doing like a mental health check, because we all need it, and especially being a new mom, it can be really tiring and exhausting, and when your life changes so abruptly like that, a lot of people just don't adjust well to change like that.

Yeah, well, and it's not an easy change. It's not a gradual change. It's like one change. You don't have a newborn, and the next day you have this little human that depends solely on you, and your entire world gets flipped upside down. No matter how much you wanted to meet this baby,

while the baby was inside you, when that baby comes out, your entire life changes. Like, there is no gradual change. Yep, 1,000% agree. One last thing from the Facebook, it says, hi ladies, any advice on what is absolutely and non-negotiable to have in a custody agreement on the mom's behalf?

Also, I know not taking him to court is an option, but if he's going to be in their lives, like he says he'll be, I need a custody agreement so the boys have consistency, and he is the type that won't give me a dime unless he's court ordered to. I don't wanna be on here like giving legal advice by any means, but I am a big advocate

of having a legal binding custody agreement. Me too. Solely because it's always a fallback, and I always went into it with that mindset of the hope is you can work it out, and you can be two adults and figure it out and agree. A lot of times that doesn't happen though. If you could simply get along,

you probably wouldn't need a custody agreement first place, but it's always a great fallback. If you guys can agree on your own outside of court and even outside of mediation, you can also go to a notary, I'm pretty sure, and that would still hold up, I believe. Don't quote me on that, but I do believe that would hold up.

One thing that I will absolutely advocate for is always knowing the other co-parent's address. Something I would ask for specifically is specify who has primary residency, who has final medical decision, who has final say in sports, because that's something that is a big deal. Extra curricular.

Or extracurricular, like who gets the final say? I know for Lindsay, she said that she kind of gave that to Will. For me, it's like, I feel like I should since all the kids are primarily with me. And write a first refusal. So that's something for Lindsay, she talked about having four hours.

For me, I think it's anything over 24. And when it's something like that, is it outside of immediate family? So my interpretation of write a first refusal was anything more than 24 hours would come to me. But Joe's interpretation of that, when we first got this done, and we were not really on good terms,

he was like, well, it's my mom, so I don't have to offer it to you first. And for me, I was like, well, I don't have that option and we didn't specify that. So no, you don't get to ask your mom. Now I see it more as like, yeah, Isaac should get to spend time with his grandma, or Lincoln should get to spend time

with his grandparents or whatever. And so I'm a little more understanding and flexible, but all of these things should be specific. When you read over your custody order or your proposal of what you want your custody order to be, if there's any ambiguity in your agreement where you could possibly have to refile

to have something specified or a stipulation to something, go back to the drawing board and redo it so that you don't have to go back and refile, because that's something that I'm dealing with right now is there's no specification on final say of sports, final say of medical, things like that. And so- So mine's very specified.

Right, and that's what I want. Mine is four categories. It is religion, extracurricular, medical, and education. I have medical, education, split religion, which that was something I was willing to split because we're both Baptists. So like whatever, like what's he gonna do? And extracurricular will has 100% control of that

and final decision-making of that. The only thing I ask is just freely communicate any emails that you get from like sports teams, whatever, please make sure I get them, please make sure I get the schedule. I don't want him missing time when I have him, like just coordinate those things with me and wanted to go back to first right of refusal.

Mine specifically and explicitly says that it is custodial parent to custodial parent. So if Will has anything over four hours that he can't care for Jackson, then he has to defer to me first. And at that point, he can seek his parents. He can never seek a babysitter, but he can seek his parents.

If I say, you know, no, but I have the choice before he can defer to his parents. Okay, that makes sense to me. I completely understand that. And I like that it's in four categories. So I think I'm actually gonna use that. That makes sense to me. That makes complete sense to me.

And it also is very detailed on, you know, like extracurricular, for example, there is specifications in that. So as Will has 100% decision-making on that, there's also stipulations in there that he can't enroll him in anything more than one sport per season. And I think there's like a mileage thing in there.

He has to, if he's between, he's doing this park or that park, like he has to confer with me on that before making the decision. Now he does get to make the final decision, but he has to ask me first before he makes that decision. Okay, so question unrelated, but related to me, not to the listener, unfortunately.

I live down here, Chris lives up North. I have continuously enrolled Lux in sports. I think we've talked about this in our school district. It should be in the school district that he attends. So except for football, because that was one of the first sports he played, and I'm on the board, which is closer to Chris, but everything else like baseball,

he wants to play lacrosse and basketball are all within his school. Now that's 40 miles from Chris. So Chris is not willing to participate on his weeks, but I don't agree because this is his school district and his primary residency, right? So like, if that was you and Will, I know you guys live close,

but say you lived 40 minutes away, would you still then get Jackson to the sports if you lived away because he has final say, or like, how would that work? Yeah, but just knowing Will as a dad, he is going to enroll him where Jackson's primary residency is and where his school is.

Like he's not gonna take him to play with kids that like he doesn't know, he's gonna put him where he knows everybody. And like that's his community because that's his primary residence. Okay. And it should always, even if there's a decision that's being made

by the other parent, the primary parent should have the rights for the location. Okay, okay, I just wanted your thoughts on that. So that makes sense to me also. Okay, let's do foul play. Okay, do you want me to read it? Are you reading them? Okay, I'll read it.

Foul play, follow up from Mattressfucker. Ha, ha, ha, ha, I just listened to the episode. I was, she says, one, I was 19 when this happened and I'm now 40. I've learned a lot since then. I hope so. Two, I have no idea how he didn't know. We weren't always drunk only sometimes.

Three, I just played it off. Like it was the best time of my life because I guess I was too nice. He was a total asshole. However, that sounds like me where people please don't ask me if I'm drunk or if I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk.

I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk. I'm not a total asshole, however. That sounds like me where people please are. I'm going to be like, you're Mattressfucker. Can we get a sticker that says Mattressfucker because I actually have to go to Mattressfirm tomorrow to get Creed's big boy bed.

And this is all I'm going to think about. Four, it took me a month to track him down to let him know I was pregnant, sat outside his place of work and called him. He passed out as soon as the words left my mouth. Oh, my gosh. He was there for the birth and then promptly left to go celebrate his accomplishment ended his night in the ER because he got beat The fuck up by his friends. Oh

She said like I said previously shit show from start to fucking finish Wow Yeah, he is an actual shit show and at the point that I don't care if I was 1940 at the point that you're a mattress fucker you're out Because if you're a fucking fucker if you're fucking the mattress and not me We're done. No, but I would have done the same thing because I'm the same way Like I would have just acted like it like now I don't think I would because I'm 30 but at 20 I would have been like, oh, this is a great time like a hundred percent

I would have no that is no that is not a thing you would be like Can you please tell me what the fuck you're doing because it's evidently not me, right? Like now I would be like you need to do this. You need to do that. Don't go down there Don't you yes, but 20 years old me. I would have been like, oh, this is so good. I cannot I have literally cannot okay number two Hi ladies, I'm a longtime listener and love the podcast. It gets me through my week So my husband and I boyfriend at the time were having sex at his parents house already super weird lol But we lived at home. So you had to do what you had to do. I was on Accutane so super dry Everywhere he reached for the lube and put it on me

Well, it was dark and all of a sudden I get a rush of cooling and burning He put my CBD cream on my badge If anyone knows what CBD feels like it's literally for muscles that I would use for my neck at night It was the worst pain I've ever felt and since we were having sex. He started to feel it on him, too We quietly ran to the bathroom So his parents wouldn't wake up and it took an hour to go away Moral of the story is do not reach for any lube in the dark. You never know what you're gonna get. Love you ladies I'm fucking dead

Okay, I will just say I Have never used lube. You never have never I just wanted to like tell you I don't think I've ever I Was on Accutane for five months. I don't know if I used to lube at that time, but I was also On and off with Dom at that time. So I don't we didn't have sex. So I don't think I used the lube either I can't say I can't say I've honestly I've tried like Sensation lube like for the sensation but not because I was trying but Accutane literally dries up every little last bit of oil in your body That it's a it's a small dose of chemo. That's Totally awful and I just it's totally awful want to say that

This is why you don't fuck in the dark You don't fuck in the dark. I only fucking the dark. I don't need anyone seeing my dimples my cellulite dimples Are you a dark fucker or a light fucker? I am a dark fucker. Okay? Yeah, I think that I used to be a dark fucker, but now I'm like a nightlight fucker a Nightlight fucker. Yeah, I love that. I actually like I like when the TV's on I like a little bit of noise because I don't want to Queef and like somebody hear it Or like I don't know you know what I mean like what if I I don't know that I don't want to queef and somebody hear it like No, that is not why you have noise going on like for for your queefs like that is why it's not a thing

But like a nightlight fucker like that's that's the mood. That's the vibes Okay, well, I like the night. Try it. Bye. Yeah, I really love that. Okay. Well I'm not gonna be a nightlight fucker right now, but I've got some shit to do So if you guys have not subscribed to the podcast you can do that on any podcast app Always first at podcast one also make sure you follow us on Instagram at coffee combos podcast Hope you guys all have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya