Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Choosing Your Battles: Christmas In-Law Conflicts

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

On this month's bonus episode... Get ready for some Christmas drama! Kail and Lindsie read some listener write-ins about Christmas family conflicts, from in-laws trying to phase out Santa to a sister-in-law's odd gift-giving procedure. Plus, they weigh in on the Wicked movie's brilliant marketing, and recount Kail's childhood afternoons spent at a dive bar. Lastly, Foul Play involving a dog is never going to end well.Thank you to our sponsors!Aura: Visit AuraFrames.com and get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code COFFEECONVOSThrive Causemetics: Go to thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEE for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first orderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is coffee convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsay Crissly. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever.

I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Good morning, but good afternoon for us. We're currently having lunch And I thought of a meal idea for you

Oh, okay, what is the meal idea? I need it. Okay, so you know how you do like Taco Bar? Because you said that your kids all like a different thing. Yes, they will all fuck up some variation of taco meal items. Okay, so do you think that you could buy like many like charcutory plates and put out all the stuff and let them make it themselves? because they have stuff like this is Sam's and Costco. Oh my.

And then they have the cheeses and like all the things. You know what? I think I don't give enough credit to like snack plates and stuff for dinners. Someone suggested a snack plate for dinners on my Instagram story. And I didn't even think of that. But charcutory would be a great one, especially because all of my kids like some type of meat. Like I could put those meats and cheeses out. I love that idea. Thank you. I appreciate that. And then like pickles and like variations

of pickles you could put on there. If your kids will eat olives, like different variations of olives, fruits. No, I love that idea. This meat's so good. I got it from Sam's. It's from Italy and 1911. I love that. I mean, I don't think the meat's from 1911. I think the company is from 1911. But basically I am a seasoned charcutory person. I feel like also this time of year is when I eat the most charcutory. I don't eat enough charcutorri. I do get the little, I think they're by Sargentino, the little snack packs that have nuts, cranberries, and cashews or almond. And it's like cheese, nuts, cranberries. And then same for the other one. It's like some form of nut and then cheese and a fruit but I love those and the babies the twins specifically I usually take one

in an energy drink with me on the road to go in the morning to drop them to school well then they want them and they're they're only this big so it's not like I can share so I'm bringing three of them and putting them in the back with them so they can eat and then I'm eating on the way to school which is so funny to me well I can tell you if you're trying to be a sandy saver going by the large packs from like Sam's club I I feel like CMTalb is such an underrated place. And when I go, I just feel so proud of myself. I'm like, I really did something this week.

Like, I went and got bundle toilet paper. I got bundle paper towels. I got my tied pods. Wait, let me back up for a second. Are you a detergent for or a pod user? Detergent at home and pods if I'm at Airbnb. Okay. No.

I am doing detergent. nowhere because I can't seem to not make a mess. Like it's gooey like everywhere. And then I have to take this stupid thing out. It's like you just put a pod in there. It just goes away. I'm crying right now. I don't. I'm a big detergent girly. That's so funny. Love. Did you see, are you into Wicked? I did go see the new movie Wicked. I'm not, here's the thing. I'm not like this like big Wicked Girlie. I was the last person on Earth to see the first one. And I saw it at home. I think it was on Amazon. We bought it. Watched it with Elliot. Thought it was cute. Elliot wanted to go see the second one. I did take him to go see it. I thought it was cute. But I'm not, I'm not a big,

like, I'm not a big wicked. Like I am, but I think it's cute, but I'm not like a big wicked girly, if that makes sense. I've never watched anything wicked. The reason I was asking was because when I was doing my little like stroll through Target, which I should never do because the amount of random shit that ends up in my cart that I absolutely do not need is ridiculous. But Gain came out with the little scent beads and it's like a wicked one. The, the beads, like it smells so good. I have not tried them. I think Elliot would probably love it. I got Elliott both of the perfumes from Alta. And they do smell really good.

But I'm not like, honestly, kind of genius marketing, if I'm being honest. Like, here's the thing. And I don't know, people like me are packaged girly. So, like, if I see a packaging and I like it, I don't care if the movie that is about to come out is absolutely fucking awful. If you brand the big things that people have to use with that, the game, Collab with the wicked movie was fucking genius. Genius. Like, it's so genius. I wish they could have like partnered with Alani, but I feel like Alani doesn't do collabs with anybody. The only one that

I know of, did they do in Kim Kardashian? They did one with Addison Ray, Kim Kardashian. They also did a they also just got sold to Pepsi or whatever. No, no, no, Celsius or Pepsi, whoever. They sold it for like $2 billion or something. That would be, that would have been a really, really good marketing if they did a wicked collab with Alani. That would have been genius. So I'm back on the Alani. Same. I was off it, but now I'm back on it. And somebody was asking me the other day, they were like, have you tried the Christmas alani? And I said, yeah, Kail and I tried it last year, and it tastes like Christmas trees. And I'm not a fan. But like my favorite thing, every single year in the fall is the witch's brew when it comes out. And I use a little nugget ice and I pour my

witch's brew on top and then I'd use the like little caramel drizzle slapsed I've never thought of doing that I'm not your mama if you had one I'm not a huge fan of the witches brew it just I don't know I you I loved it when it first came out but typically I'm a ghost girlie and my favorite favorite most favorite flavor of ghost is raspberry cream I think I bought the last two cases of it on earth um love love ghost but I also do like alani and I'm back on alani and I'm back on alani and I'm back on Why? Because they sold it. That's why. Oh my God. No. I do not like ghost at all. That one ghost that you tried to make me drink that had the sour patch kids on it or whatever. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Okay. Can you, when you come here again, will you try raspberry cream? Yes, I will try raspberry

cream because I do like cream and I do like raspberry. Okay. Deal. Because I read the raspberry cream is my alt. I'm looking at the two cases I bought. I can't find it in. individually anywhere and I can't find the full cases of like the only cases of ghosts that I can find are the variety pack and I'm not a variety pack. Like I have not found a combination of the variety that I like. It's like I like one and not the other two or I like two and I don't like the one and I don't want to waste it. See, that's how companies like really get us because I feel like that somewhat about Gatorade.

You know, we're a Gatorade house, drink Gatorade Zero. There are certain flavors in the mixed packs. like the variety packs that I can't get behind. So those are always like left. And then it's when you're in a pinch and you don't have anything else, then you'll drink it because you don't want to be a waster. But it's like a flavor I would never choose. Yeah.

I like the ghost Welch, Welch's grape juice flavored ghost, absolutely the fuck not. See, I probably would like it because I love Welch's grape, great juice. And I also like love it. It's giving like fanta grape. And I can get behind that. Do you know that I drank like my weight and fanta grape when I was in college? Really? Like my weight in it.

That's so funny. I'm not a huge grape flavor, girly. Really? Wait, what do you think the most underrated fruit is? I'm not fruit girly in general. I just don't. I'm never going to gravitate towards fruit. Underrated fruit flavor.

Raspberry. I don't feel like that's an unrated. raspberry. I think people sleep on those flavors. Okay. Do you like Marantino cherries? They're like the fake ones that, like, are swimming in that juice. Yes, I do. I knew you would like that. I hate a Marantino cherry. Like, I hate it. Jackson, we love you. Well, my mom used to have me sit at the bar with her. Um, they would always give me, like, I don't know if it's because she was there all the time that the bartenders would just like give me whatever. They used to give me the whole entire jar. Wait, you went to the bar with your mom? Yeah. Oh, I spent countless nights sitting at the bar, like not just in the presence of the bar at the ball. Like I was sitting there. I would eat chips. Then I'd get up and go play Pac-Man sometimes because sometimes my mom would not give me money to play. But sometimes like the other patrons like that my mom didn't even know, sometimes they would give me money to go play the games because they probably knew that it was wrong that I was there. So they would like go give me money to play the games. Yeah, I would sit right at the bar or I'd cry in the car either way. And she would just, like, let all of that transpire and nothing? Nothing. And nobody would, nobody would call the cops. Nobody would come get me.

Nobody, nothing. I'm like, how did the company, like, of the bar that you went to not call CPS? The bars, multiple. The pines, pats, A.J's, the limerick on Main Street. I don't even know if some of them are even, the pines got bought out. It's called something else now. All of them. I think they just.

All I'm imagining this is like a cheers bar. Like the show bar on cheers? Yeah. I don't know. Like they were like a hole in the wall. Like what I would picture like a dive bar. Mm-hmm. What is a dive bar?

I mean, they are the best places if you're going to go. I mean, would not recommend taking a child to one of those. What is a dive bar though? A dive bar is like giving like crusty, rusty and it might smell like pine saw in there. A hole in the wall? Yeah, it's like a hole in the wall. Everything looks like really old and like dated. Yep.

That's the type of bars that my mom was at. And usually she worked at them too. So she would work there and then she would take me in her off hours that she wasn't working. Okay. If you were going to go to a bar like in your big age of 33, would you choose to go to a dive bar or like a chic like restaurant bar? I, Emily and I went to, I would say the. closest bar to like what my mom used to take me to. Um, the difference. It was like a bar, but it was like a bar restaurant and they also have a DJ there sometimes. And honestly,

I could get behind that. That was a good time. Like I would be willing to go back like even now. Like if I don't have my kids, the two weeks that I don't have my kids around Christmas, like if Emily asked me to go out, I would go. It's like, I'm going to be there. I might only get a Coke. I'm not going to get liquor. But like I would go to, just because The vibes. It was more the vibes. It was like, okay, like you could drink, but there was food also. And so it's not like you're just going to drink only where like the bars that I picture because of my mom, there was no food served there. None. Okay. Like one of my most favorite local places is it's a local chain. So they've got different ones like all around. But there's one that's really close to my house. And it's kind of like a all in one situation. Like if you want to go and hang out there. like grab drinks with friends and listen to music and watch games. Like you can do that. But then also it's family friendly. So you can take your kids there and they have like a local bakery with

cakes and stuff like that and their kids meals like an entire bar menu. But then you also could go in there on like a Friday night and have a good time. See like I can get behind that. Because I never for me and I don't know if it's because I grew up with my mom like, at the bar and so I've always had a very negative view of bars. I could get, like I never understood how people physically go to these holes in the walls and sit at the bar for hours and hours and hours and socialize and talk to friends or don't literally just sit there by themselves like you see in the movies. Like I never understood that.

Like even Becky, for example, like she was used to be a really big drinker. And she was like, oh, at the bar. Or like Kristen has told me a story. about her and Corey going to the bar. What would make you want to go to a bar? Like, I just couldn't understand it. But like when you're talking about DJ and a full menu and it could be family friendly, but also a, like, I could get behind that. I mean, I can say, like, I've been to a bar and sat there by myself and read my Kindle. Yeah, but I could also get behind that. But also, if you're going to read your Kindle, why not just go to the liquor store, get the liquor and go home? Oh, I wasn't

drinking liquor at that time. I just went to the bar like for the vibes. with sports playing. I went and got some boneless wings and some broccoli. To me, you're going to the bar, but it's not for the bar. Correct. Yes. Okay. And I was just, you should have seen the people that were looking at me like reading my Kindle. They're like, who did you become? I just, speaking of Kindles, I just re-did my Kindle for Christmas. This is a video of me doing it. I put my skull Christmas back in my thing in there with the Christmas strap for decoration. And then I have the Madwife and I'm halfway through. I could get behind the Christmas Kindle. Mine's not decorated. Like you did send me the inserts,

but I just haven't got around to it yet, you know? Yeah. No, I get it. More focused spend in my time on actually reading the book and not decorating. Which, speaking of decorating, What are we decorating? I still have not put up my Christmas tree. At this point, don't. Kilt, you literally can't say that. Yeah, no, because today while we're recording is the eighth, but like, I mean, you're only going to have it up for two weeks at this point now anyway, so what is the point?

I mean, the point is, is that I said I was going to do it. And if I didn't say that I was going to do it, then I just wouldn't do it. But now I feel like I need to do it. my friend Sterling, and this is probably highly controversial because there's no yearly memories of like putting the Christmas tree together and like redecorating it and hanging the ornaments as a family. There's absolutely no memory of that. She does her Christmas tree elaborately. And then she does it every so many years. And then she covers it with a tarp and puts it in the garage exactly how it is.

And then when she pulls it back out every year, it is the. exact same thing as last year. She does not take off the ornaments. She does not put the ornaments away. They do not redecorate it every year. And I actually love that idea for people who do not care about the decorating itself. We used to decorate our tree when I was married the day after Thanksgiving. And Jackson would like do the ornaments and stuff. Then when we got divorced, I only put up a tree like every other year, depending on the year that I had him for Christmas. Will puts up a tree every year. His Christmas tree and his ornaments look wild as fuck, but like that's not my husband

anymore. You know, what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. That's not my husband. Have you ever gone into like one of your ex's houses before and you're just like what's actually going on? Yeah.

Like who told you that looked good and like why is that there? Yep. You know what I mean? The fascination of people in general, like, I remember, I think it was coffee combos when I'm like, I don't, I just want to know how you and your ex operated. It's sort of that way when I break up with someone and because I have kids with everyone I've dated. Um, oftentimes I've been to their house after we've broken up and I'm just like, how did you go from what we used to do together to like this like weird way of life? Because like,

do you not adopt certain things that come out of a relationship? Do you not adopt that for your own individual life just by default? Some of it, I think, is maybe an expression of now I'm, like, free to do what I want. Okay. I think that's some of it. Some of it's just lazy as hell. Oh, my gosh. I just, like, can't, like, I always wonder, like, how did you go from this to that?

I don't get it. I mean, I don't know, Kail. Why did, did I tell you the story about my ex-husband calling? me to help move him a concrete countertop? Yes. How'd that go? Wait, so I didn't tell you, like, how it went. I just told you I was doing it.

Yes. Okay. So I get there. And I'm like, come on, let's get the show on the road. Let's do this. Well, I just want to know, you're like a hundred pounds soaking wet. So like, what help were you going to be? It's not like you called me and Becky.

Emotional support, I guess. I don't know. I get there and I go to the basement because that's where he has made these concrete countertops himself. Okay. And I will say he is super handy person. Like he will do projects and he does them right, but it would drive me nuts if we were married. Like none of that stuff would have ever been transpiring if we were married because if you think that my bathroom is going to be torn, just slap the fuck up for three months because you're trying to figure out what type of new like tile cutter that you're getting and we're just going to sit on. No, we're not doing.

that that's never happening. We're hiring professional. He makes these concrete countertops. I go downstairs. This thing is a whole island. Like, that's kind of what I pictured, actually. Like, that's how big it was. And I looked at him and I said, what am I supposed to do this? He was like, just get over there and lift it up. And I'm like, the countertop, the concrete slab, a fraction of it weighed more than you. What did he think you were going to do? I don't know, but somehow I helped him get it on like those little dolly things like will around. Uh-huh. So I'm like helping him will it around and he goes, okay, I need you to put all of your strength into this.

And I go lift it, nothing happens. Okay. And he goes, you got it? And I'm like, no. I don't. Next thing I know, some random man's walking through the basement. he's like, you need to hold this slab right here on this, these wills, like that I have it on. You need to do this right now.

He disappears for like five minutes. I'm holding this countertop up and some random man comes in. And I'm like, oh, hey, like, I'm sorry that I couldn't do the job, but unfortunately, like, I'm not big enough to lift an entire fucking concrete island. And that is reason, 1,021, while we're no longer married. Him and Elijah might do good if they went into business together. Could they just be roommates? I mean, he's always down for a project, and it sounds like Will is too. I don't know what he thought you were going to do.

I don't either, but the amount of construction that has gone on in that house, and I need to know the people that are listening to this, can you live in a construction zone? Because I cannot. No, that was part of the decision making when I wanted to, like, possibly add an addition to my current home versus building a new one was like, what would that look like for the construction and ultimately it would not be a livable space for a long fucking time and there's no rentals that would accommodate seven children plus myself and animals so that was like ultimately why we put one of the reasons the very many reasons um no i don't think

that we could live in a rental or sorry i don't think we could live in a renovation area i guess it also depends what room and stuff but a kitchen i mean for him will will will only has Jackson half the time so I could see how he could live like that. But for you, no. And you're also very anal about stuff like that. If you think I'm going without a kitchen for more than day, it's just not happening. I went to Pilates other day and there's this retired teacher that is now a Pilates instructor. And she tells us about her renovations all the time. And she's like, well, my kitchen's being renovated. So I'm using my crock pot in my bathroom. And then it's like a couple of weeks later, she comes back and she's like, well, now my bathroom's being renovated. So I'm

brushing my teeth in the kitchen. And I'm like, no, teeth are meant to be brushed in a bathroom and crop pots, like, where there's so much hair and like where you bathe, crock pots in a bathroom. No, like, I understand people do it, but I'm just not cut out. I wouldn't be able to do it for the simple fact that I have too many kids. Like, I can't, that would not work. I know my, when my cousin was renovating her house. She has a brownstone in Hoboken and I'm pretty sure she like lived in a rental while it was, but she only has three, they only have, they only have three kids. So to make and could do a rental, but like I can't take seven kids and a doll and dogs and everybody to a rental. Like that's not going to work. Could you imagine like a rental company seeing you coming with all of your kids and

dogs and animals would not even rent to me? You would. have an eviction notice before you even got there. 1,000%. All right, y'all, if you are like me and you are a last-minute shopper, you know the feeling. The shelves are empty and ideas are running low. But I do have an idea. ORA frames is a solution with a gift that feels so personal. You guys can upload unlimited photos and videos.

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in time for the holidays, support the show by mentioning us at checkout, terms, and conditions apply. Okay, so we're doing, we kind of got off on a tangent, but we were supposed to be doing a Christmas-themed episode. And we have some listener write-ins. The first person says, hi, ladies, I always love how these start, like, high ladies. Yeah. Like, should we need, like, merch, like, hi ladies. Hey, ladies. Yeah, that's cute. That would be so cute. Trigger warning, if you have kids in the car that still believe in Santa, or if you are still doing Santa magic, fast forward this, do not listen to this in the car around children. I'm 31, have three kids, six, four, and two, and this is our first year hosting Christmas. My in-laws pulled me aside last weekend and told me that

they think that we should phase out Santa because they feel like it's lying to children and promotes materialism. Meanwhile, I have a brand new $300 Santa setup ready to go, cookies, reindeer food, matching pajamas, the whole magic. They told my husband that if we continue with Santa, they will tell the kids the truth, protect them. I told my husband, if his mother wants to start a war, I'll hand her the sword myself. I don't understand. Like, this goes back to our conversation about in-laws and, like, you know, trusting the moms. Why would someone feel like it is their job as not the parents of the child to put these types of opinions on somebody else? Like, yes, I do believe there is an over-consumerism problem, right? Like, whatever, and not everyone can afford Santa or,

Like, other kids are not in a position to, you know, maybe Santa doesn't come to their house. But, like, that is not up for somebody's fucking family members to dictate to the parents of the children. That is not, you don't get to do that. And the way that you would never see your grandkids again until after they come to the realization that Santa is not real on their own, why the fuck does a set of grandparents or aunts and uncles think that that is acceptable, okay, or anything? What I'm thinking, based off of what this person is writing, is that, these in-laws are likely very religious people. I don't give a fuck. That is not okay. Like I don't, we don't do Santa, but I understand that some families do and I'm advocating for the families that

do. It's not up to you. I mean, we've done Santa and the elf and, you know, all the things, like done the pajamas, the reindeer food, the cookies, the putting out carrots. Like, we've done all of that. But at the point that Jackson realized that it was not real, I did have a conversation with him. Like, it's something fun that like parents do for their children. And at the point that you don't know, like, you don't believe in it anymore, now we have to have a bigger conversation of like what the reason for the season is. And I know you're not religious, but I really am trying to focus with him on like, it's not about the presence. It's about the time that's being spent with your family that you are making a choice to spend that time with, right? And we don't need to be so

consumed on what we're getting or what somebody else is getting. We need to be focused on taking that time to intentionally spend it with family. And I also think that there's a whole other argument with Santa that I didn't even realize until Jackson was in elementary school. And I think I told you about this before that there was a situation at school where, one of the kids had gone and said that Santa was bringing them a PS5, okay? I remember the story. Yep. I do remember it. And the other child was like, I want a PS5, right? Like, I want to have a PS5. And I'm going to ask Santa for that. Well, if that's not within, you know, that family's budget to be able to do that, it makes it seem like this fictitious Santa Claus is going to be

bringing gifts like that to another child, but not the one for the parents who can't afford it. And I just think that that's very wrong. No, there's no doubt, but like, what is the solution? I don't know that there's a solution for, like, the kids that don't get to have Santa versus the ones that do. I think with society today, we have to look at what our kids are exposed to. And, like, I think children should be able to be children. And what you want to do in your home is what you choose to do.

do in your home. It's very easy for kids now to not, like, carry the Christmas magic of Santa when they're being exposed to social media and other friends who don't celebrate, they're being told at school. Like, I feel like when we were growing up, nobody was going around narking that Santa wasn't real. No, that's actually really interesting that you say that because I, my mom stopped celebrating Christmas altogether when I went by the time I was 13, but I obviously didn't believe in Santa for a long time before that. And I don't remember any type of. of conversations at school about it. And what's so funny, Lincoln asked me last night,

so in their culture, in hobbies Guatemalan culture, there is no Santa at all. And everybody only celebrates Christmas Eve and you open all your presents, but Santa doesn't bring them as your family members. And so Lincoln sort of never really did Santa to begin with, but he told me that Elliot told him that Santa wasn't real. So whatever little hope that Lincoln did have, I don't know if he ever actually believed in Santa, but I do think that, you know, an older sibling

telling a younger sibling, although sad, it does happen. But like in school, I don't remember anyone ever talking about that. But now the kids do. That makes me, that actually breaks my heart, honestly. And like, remember when we were in elementary school, like back in the 90s, we always had, like, it was called Christmas parties, not holiday parties. And I do think that, that's a good switch. I can get behind that because all holidays around the Christmas time should be celebrated whatever you're celebrating. So I agree with that switch. But like we did so many fun things. Like the entire week going into the Christmas holiday if you celebrate Christmas was like crossword puzzles and word searches and like baked goods and you no longer you could bring baked goods that like

mom's made at home like custom little cupcakes that your mom's made now you have these parties they either don't have holiday parties which I'm pretty sure that Jackson hasn't had a holiday party in like three years but you can't bring anything that's like homemade and I'm like that to me was the magic of Christmas I agree but I think because everybody is um everything has to be inclusive everything has to be I don't even know how to say it without hurting someone's feelings. Everyone's too sensitive. It's like we can't celebrate Christmas because what about these 12 other holidays? Okay, fine. We can include those or I guess, but if you include those and everybody else can't participate. So it's like it's become the this like

everybody's, you know. Shouldn't we just be celebrating the holidays for what they are? Because I do believe in being inclusive. Like everybody should be celebrated for whatever it is that they believe. So like I said, I agree with like the moving away from the Christmas parties and then being called holiday parties now. But like truly, I don't know of many schools that even do the holiday parties anymore. So it's just, I don't know. It's just so crazy. But back to the mother-in-law, I can tell you right now, if my ex-mother-in-law told my child at any point that Santa wasn't real or threatened me and said, I'm telling him that Santa's not real. you're lying to him, I'm planning your death.

Like, that is so inappropriate. Like, I don't, if I had another child, I don't know that I would do Santa, though. It should, for me, it's always just been easier to not. I also, we've talked about this before. I know people who do, like, the one big gift is from Santa and everything else is from parents or the opposite or everything is from Santa. I've met people who do every single thing is from Santa. So I think it's whatever works for your family.

I don't judge. I mean, the only thing I'm going to say about that is, you know, it kind of also takes away from the work that the parents are doing all year along for their children, you know. And so if we are telling our kids that every gift is from Santa and he just came down this chimney and he put all of the gifts there, like what about your hard work and the stuff that you did that was extra to make sure that your kids had? I don't know. I just like can't get, I can't get behind it in the way that I used to could.

used to could used to could um okay next person again hi ladies love y'all endlessly please keep me anonymous because i do not want to start war war three why what the what is wrong with these mother and laws my mother-in-law insists on coming over to help decorate for christmas since it's our first year with our new house sweet in theory but every time she comes over she moves my decorations like literally rearranges my mantle my tree ornaments my garland everything and she'll say things like oh honey it's cute but it would look better over here or you must be so exhausted let me fix the tree for you fix the tree i spent two hours putting ribbon on it last week she straight up undecrated half of my tree and said let's try a more elegant theme ma'am i have toddlers we are not living in the

builtmore mansion my boyfriend says that she means well but i'm one candy cane away from losing it how do i set boundaries without ruining christmas this is that to me just let her like this goes into like the overly sensitive everything like great we know your mother-in-law doesn't need to move everything but if it's just going to shut her the fuck up let her do it let her do it this is the most honestly thing i've ever read in my life like it screams todd chrissy for real and i and i only know him from tv i don't really know him in real life i that is you have to choose your battles and that is giving like i have a friend that used to do that to me. My mom used to be that way. And it's just one of those things where it's

like, just let them move your decorations. Like truly just, it's not worth it. Y'all, I so don't care about it to the point that. And maybe it's because I grew up with a parent like that that they would just come. Even my nanny does stuff like that. Like rearranging my salt shakers or something near my, you know, it doesn't matter. Sometimes the cleaners will rearrange my bookshelves and I'm like, oh, that looks nice. Like, actually, Kristen had told Rebecca, Rebecca is my personal assistant. Rebecca wanted to do my bookshelves. And Kristen was like, no, she'll kill you.

And I'm like, no, in real life, I want her to do it. Like, please help. Yeah. Like, I don't know, but going into someone's home, I just, I don't know. I feel like that person should look at it from a completely different perspective. Because if you have a parent, whether it be like an in-law or your parents coming in your house and they feel comfortable enough to like be doing that stuff for you and think that they're helping just like let it fly yeah like choose your battle i know it's probably so annoying i know because

she said she's one candy cane away but like look at the bigger picture and really just choose your battles you don't want to ruin christmas or the relationship with your family member over moving your christmas decorations and yes i do it's like it's nuanced right because it's like you do need to set boundaries but also like don't let shit hit the fan because of that wait do you like ever look at people's reels on how they decorate for Christmas and it's like I know that shit took you guys three weeks to do it like what are you doing? Why do you make so many knickknacks like I have a love hate relationship with seeing other people do it because for me it just feels like so much work so much effort for very little reward but that also is like

nuanced because I don't have the same love for the holidays that these people have. So for me, it's a lot of effort, a lot of work, a lot of money, a lot of time for a little reward. But for the people who do that and it's taking three weeks to decorate for your house for Christmas is like, you must love Christmas so much that it's worth it. Okay. Do you remember that brand? It's called like Department 57 or something like that. And they had these little, like, villages, like Christmas villages. And they have, like, the little ornaments called Snow Babies. And they sets, no, I made that up.

Nativity sets? Nativity. Yeah, they do have nativity. But they have, like, all these little villages that you can purchase. And they were very expensive. And when I tell you, my mom's parents would spend. weeks putting out this Christmas village. I mean, it took up. They had turned like a carport situation into an extension of their home. And that entire room was filled with like

Christmas villages. And I mean, obviously they didn't have anything else to be doing. They're retired people. But it's like you did all of that to just have to box it back up. It's not going to, it's not for me. It's never going to be for me. I also made a grave mistake when building my house. If I ever wanted to get into the holidays, I do not have any storage. Like, I shit you not. I have no attic. Like, I have an attic, but it's not like able to be used for storage. My garage, one bay, I have two bays. One bay is completely already used, like borderline busting at the seams. And then we can fit one car in the other bay. I do not have hallway closets. I do not have linen closets. My,

one bathroom upstairs is completely missed. Actually, two bathrooms upstairs are completely missing closets altogether. So I don't have anywhere to put anything. So that is another reason. Like someone, I think it was Becky, last week she suggested, why don't you do a holiday at Kale's house, maybe not Christmas exactly, but like why don't you come up with a Kale Day, Lowry-themed, like mandatory tradition every single year? And it sounds good. And I actually want to do it. I want to implement it, but I literally have nowhere to put, and I'm not being dramatic. Like, I'm genuinely not being true. I don't have closets.

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Just out of curiosity, when you were like in the book, building process? No, the builder and the architect, neither one of them, neither one of them said, hey, you don't have any storage. And I mean, I know that you had three less children whenever you move there, but that still doesn't like negate the fact that you would have needed storage in a bathroom or... I don't even have a hall closet upstairs. Like a closet, like hall closet. You know how people have hall closet for like, I don't know, sheets, blankets, fucking knick-knack. I don't know. don't even have that. She said fucking knickknacks. Like when I told me, there is, there is nothing that drives me more crazy than knickknacks. Like nothing. I'm not that type of person. I'm not,

I'm not saving that shit. I'm not keeping that shit. Like, I'm not. Speaking of knickknacks, you know what Jackson asked for for Christmas? And I'm like, please, no, like, please. Those little resin toys, the little resin toys? No, he asked for a 3D printer so he can make shit, like hold on let me find something low key if you get him one can he make me some stuff okay hold on to show you things that we're made off of a 3d printer this is so that we can have all of this stuff like laying around the house like this drives me nuts yeah that stuff i don't want but like also i want a 3d printer okay but he's innovative he's an engineer he's an inventor i don't care this is not a stem or steam house whatever it's called he's

it's not like we can we can buy kits to do that and then like throw it all away i just don't know why i mean why we need this many knickknacks it it truly drives me nuts like the small little things you gift them to family members for christmas you gift them to will's parents you make an ornament out of it drill a hole and make it an ornament a christmas ornament kill do you know how tacky that is you ask for a solution and i'm telling you to use will as his handy skills that you just said and have him drill holes in that shit throw some yarn on that bitch and put the year on it and gift it for the christmas tree can you imagine him drilling a hole through this thing's head and like putting a hook on it yes i can effort that would go into that it's like let's just go to

target by norman like we don't need to do all that you know what i mean goodbye goodbye. Okay, the next person says, oh, now we're the kitties. Hi, kitties. I love you both. And I hope that you can help. We've never helped anybody. My sister-in-law has this habit of bringing tons of Christmas gifts for my kids, but then telling them they can't open them until later. She literally takes them back home with her. She says she likes storing them so the kids have a reason to come over more. What? My kids, she even took their stockings last year so she could refill them later and she lives an hour away. My husband doesn't want to say anything because he says that's just how she is, but I'm done. Is this normal behavior? I feel like she's emotionally shoplifting my children help. Wait, what does she do? So apparently she has a habit of bringing tons of Christmas gifts for her kids. But then she tells them they can't open them until later and then she literally takes them back home with her. Why would someone do that? I don't know, but I quite frankly feel like this is shoplifting.

Like, could you imagine, could you imagine showing up at someone's house with little kids with gifts? And let's just say, like, hypothetically, they open them. And then you're like, I hope that you love it. And then you go to leave and you bag up all this stuff. And you're like, well, when you come to my house, you can play with it. That's what she's doing? Yeah. Literally no. I just got done saying to choose your battles. and, like, don't move, like, just let your mother-in-law move the decorations. But do not let your sister-in-law do that. Absolutely.

That's, like, the same argument as, like, you know, when people that have children and then their extended families expect them to bring the children to 12 different places on Christmas Day and they have to leave all their toys that they keep getting at each spot, they have to leave them, pack up, and then go to the next place. To me, that's, like, highway robbery. Like, let the kids play with the fucking toys that they got. Stop expecting to take the children to every fucking. in everybody's house, adults come to my house because I'm not ripping my kids from all the toys.

They just got. It's the same concept. Actually, don't even, if you're going to take the kids gifts with you back home, just don't buy them anything at all. Don't buy them gifts. Like literally because they think that they're theirs and then you're taking them back to your house and saying, oh, well, I want them to come play at my house. No, then you need to go buy them toys for your house specifically that live at your house that are not related to Christmas. Like, that is not normal behavior. And that is a battle that I would that's about all I would pick. I would just, quite frankly, if that happened to me one time, that person would never

be welcomed back into my home. That's a hill I'll die on. A hill I will die on. No, I think that the gift-giving thing, I just hate it, just in general. When I was married, we moved to like white elephant gifting for the adult. So everybody got like one thing that they had on their list, which I loved. And then we only did gifts for the kids. But never could I ever imagine like for my nephew taking him something that would have been on his list that his parents told me about.

I buy it. He opens it, plays with it. And then I'm like, oh, while I'm getting my leftovers, I'm also taking your toy. And if you want to play with it, you can come to my house. Like, that's bribery if I've ever seen it. My sister and my niece just came to visit. And, like, right before Thanksgiving. And I took her to Target to get some stuff.

And that would be, like, literally, oh, but we can leave them at my house. You can play with them when you come visit. No. She took them with her. And anything that didn't fit in her fucking suitcase, I shipped it. Oh, you shipped it? Yes. That's so nice of you.

What the fuck do I? I don't, what? Like, that, it's so crazy. But back to your point saying, like, kids going, like, all around places on Christmas day or Christmas Eve, I have. that also. And that's why as a divorce person, I have enough foresight and enough trauma from my childhood of my parents not knowing how to co-parent during the holidays. It's like, if I don't have Jackson on Christmas Day, I'm never robbing him from Will's parents being able to see him. He's done that

since he was born, not doing it. That's not a hill that I'm going to die on because I need Christmas day. We are going to Disney the 18th through the 23rd. We will come home. He will do his present from me. on Christmas Eve, we will have finger foods and stuff at home for linner. We're going to do like a linner. I will drop him off at wills. And then he doesn't have to worry about like splitting time. And if he gets something here that he wants, whether it be like a clothing item or I don't know, like an accessory, whatever it is that I get, I don't mind him taking it there.

That's how I am. I just don't, I don't care about that kind of stuff. there are certain things with like clothes that I'm like a little just at any time of the year just like a little frustrated if I just got it and they take it over to dads but usually I do not care what toys you take on any given day even if it was the holidays like I really don't care but I think so often I have seen parents and caregivers and guardians and things like that get frustrated with the kids because the kids have to they're forced to maintain this happy grateful attitude

all fucking day on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but you're literally ripping them from house to house to house to house to house. And then you're upset that they're not behaving or you're upset that they're not grateful or you're upset that they have to put their toys away. And it's like, if you just take a fucking step back, unfortunately, you might not be able to see every fucking family member you have today. But your kids' memories of this are way more important than who you saw. And it's like, why are these adults not coming to you? Like, I'm a big, believer in spending Christmas at home. Like once you have your children, spend Christmas at home. Will and I always spent the night with his parents on Christmas Eve. And then we woke up there.

So Jackson was kind of getting the same experience. You know what I mean? But then once he got to a certain age and we're getting bikes and stuff like that, it's like it's not realistic for us to do that. and we just want to stay at home in our pajamas and have like a hot breakfast and chill and do things at our own pace. Our kids don't, our kids or us do not need to be in the car going from place to place to place. And in a co-parenting situation, I can remember growing up as a kid and like my parents would sometimes split Christmas Eve and then like Christmas Day would be split down the middle and, you know, my dad's coming, my dad and jewelry coming to pick us up for my mom's if it was her morning and they're getting there at like 10. So we had a.

maybe two hours and then my mom's not letting any of our stuff go to the next house and then we can't take anything from dads back to hers and it's like what what is this no i hate it and i wish that more people would and again another reason why i don't do christmas was because of that fight of the splits down the middle and no matter what's in the custody order you know waiting to see a judge for the holiday schedule and the judge is deciding the holiday schedule never worked for us And so whatever was in the parenting plan never worked and this person lives two hours away. And then to me, it's just like for like, and I get it. Some people are going to write in and they're going to say, well, my sister has kids and, you know, we want to see her.

And so the only way to do it is for one of us to get up and leave and go to the other house. Okay, then do it on the 26th. Well, I'm an advocate for doing things leading up to Christmas and then using the Christmas days for like at home family days. And then if you want to do something after Christmas, but the actual days of it, no. And the kids won't care. Like, that's the other thing is like, if you celebrate like the same for Thanksgiving, if people are so tired of splitting Thanksgiving, the same thing for Christmas is like, your kids do not care if they have a tradition on the 23rd or the 25th or the 27th.

If you decide to do it, just make it fucking happen. Like I don't, I don't understand why it has. to be this huge thing. That way you're staying home with your own fucking families for the actual day. Your kids aren't being ripped and run all over. Like, it just use your fucking brains, people. Remember when I told you that my therapist told me that like traditions are what you make them? Yes. That doesn't just apply in co-parenting. That's like real life too. I had my friend Sterling was the first person to say because she was like, she had moved to Texas. I don't think she'll care if I'm talking about it. She had moved to Texas and she has the two kids. Her sister

has two kids. And she's like, and my parent are both, her and her sister both live in Texas, but kind of far apart. And then their mom lives, their parents live in New Mexico. And she's like, I just got tired of taking my kids there and then coming home. And then it's also more work for the parents, especially for single moms or single dads that then have to load the car up, unload the car, unpack it, put it away, do all of that. And so you're adding extra shit. And so when I texted Sterling about, you know, Christmas this year, she had said that they're going to, she's going to meet up with her family after Christmas. I think like a day or two days after Christmas.

And it's like that makes more sense to me because you get to be home with your fucking kids. Well, and I feel like when you are rushing around doing everything, you don't actually get to enjoy it as the adult, right? Because you are, oh, well, I've got to get the kids in the car and then I've got to get the presents. And then I've got to, I'm not doing that. No. My ass is sitting right here on this golf course. I remember up until I was 13-ish.

We always did Christmas Eve at my grandparents, and then we would pack up the car. My mom and whoever she was married to at the time would pack up the car. I would wake up on Christmas morning home, in my own home. And then I want to say we would meet at my great grandmothers in town by like 12. And that was kind of doable. But I also, I was the only child and I was the only grandchild. So it wasn't as like chaotic. And there was no split household because it was just mine.

but I think 12 o'clock was doable, but like also now that I am a mom myself, it's not something I would do. Likewise. The next person says, hi, Kail and Lindsay, love y'all. I need outside opinions because this feels weird. Every year, my husband's family does matching Christmas pajamas, cute, fine, whatever. This year, his mom sent us all the same set, except she picked out a special matching peer just for her and my husband.

It's literally the same two-piece set, but in a different color. and labeled mommy and son Christmas duo. He thought it was adorable. I think it gives a mild Oedipus vibes. He wants to take pictures in them. I told him I'm uncomfortable and he said it's making something innocent into something weird. Am I overreacting or is it strange for a married man to take coordinating pajama photos exclusively with his mom? What is Oedipus?

Yeah, Alessandra. It's a book that a lot of people read in high school, at least if you're a millennial. and he was in love with his daughter. His mom, I'm sorry. He was in love with his mom. Oh, it's like the Sigmund Freud theory where all children are in love with their opposite sex parent. If my man was taking matching Christmas pajamas with his mother, I'm not going to be with you. I'm just not.

As a grown person, at the point that you're old enough to be fucking. somebody. Why are you wearing matching PJs with your mom? Did you guys watch hunting wives? Yes. It's giving that mom who was in love with her son. Yes, I agree. That to me, that's a battle that I am choosing. But like at the point that your husband thinks that it's acceptable and that's okay, now I have the ick so bad. You can't undo that. You can't unick me. No, family pictures. If it's like the grandparents, the parents, the kids, okay, fine. But if it's a grown man, and his mother only, the answer is no. We're broken up now.

Now I need to know if, like, this is an only child? Like. No, because even if it's an only child, no. Like, I literally thought of you and Jackson. No, literally no. Like, if you saw that. 30 years old and married. And you're like, here, Jackson, I got us pajamas.

And it's just the two of us, not your wife, not your children, just the two of us. that is weird okay so as i was first of all i'm not doing that but as i was doing this this made me think of a fight that i got in with somebody um many many moons ago we would go to the lake in the summertime and you know like how guys wear i don't know like basketball shorts and they don't have like any underwear on under them okay well if you wake up in the morning and you you have morning wood and you're strolling around in a pair of basketball shorts and your dick's like slinging around like at the point that you're out of your parents home to me like there's a different level of like I no longer live here so I shouldn't do the things I was doing

when I was living here as a teenager. You know what I mean? It's like put on put on some underwear. Like why is your mom having to be subjected to your dick slinging around and a pair of basketball shorts? Yeah, no, I would agree. I mean, like, I obviously don't have a great relationship with Susie, but I could not picture myself going to visit her today and then waking up in the morning and not putting a bra on before I go downstairs. You know what I mean? It's like, let's just have some cooos. If you look in the mirror when you go and brush your teeth and you see that you can see the outline of your dick on the outside of your pants, probably not the best way to greet your parents in the morning over eggs and bacon. I would agree. I think at, at,

some point you should be grown. And I was told, I was told he was like, well, that's just weird that you would be thinking about that. And I'm like, first of all, it's just weird that you would do it. I'm trying to think of like my children being adults and coming to visit me. Like, I guess that wouldn't, I anticipate that some of my children are going to live with me until they're 30 years old. So I guess it doesn't really thinking about it from that perspective. Like, it's not weird. But like, I also don't have. have a good relationship with my mom and I couldn't imagine like just like walking downstairs in her house with like tits all over the place right like that just like is weird it's just like you know

at the point that you become grown and like you no longer live there like that is not your government address put on some draws how do you feel speaking about how do you feel about grown men still using their parents address well what are they using it for are they evading taxes like no just like everything like that is their like permanent address they're sending mail there um if they were to get arrested that's what's on their license like their parents address well how i feel about that is that's illegal oh well don't tell them my baby dads because 50% of them still use it that's illegal like i think you have 90 days or something to switch your driver's license address throw chris in jail like banking records and stuff like that i'm pretty sure

at the point that you move addresses, like, you're supposed to, by law, like, change the address on your banking account, what other things would be going to their parents' house? Bills, court documents, gun registration, all things. Well, we know that, we know one person that literally has a completely wrong address and a custody order. So, like, don't get me started. Okay. Like, not the time for me today. Now we have foul play for y'all, and this is also Christmas themed.

The time I accidentally traumatized my in-laws dog. So last Christmas, my boyfriend and I were staying at his parents' house. Everything was super wholesome, matching pajamas, hot chocolate, Christmas movies. I thought, wow, I'm finally entering my classy era. I would feel that way as well. Plot twist, I was not. We go upstairs to get ready for bed, which in adult language means we were 100% about to do things you shouldn't do under someone else's roof. We tried to be quiet,

but at one point he pulls a move that caught me so off guard. I let out this involuntary moan that sounded like a ghost being exercised. At that exact moment, the family dog, a tiny elderly shitsu named Mr. Pickles, pushed the door open with his body like it was the swap team. He stares, we freeze. He starts barking like he's witnessing a home invasion. My boyfriend panics, jumps off the bed and tries to scoop up the dog. The dog panics and pees. I panic and scream. The mattress panics and soaks it all in.

And suddenly his mom is knocking on the door asking if everything was okay. My boyfriend from across the room holding dripping Mr. Pickles goes, uh, yeah, he slipped. Slipped where in what? What is the story? We spend the next 20 minutes trying to clean pee off the sheets while the dog sits in the hallway shaking like he's seen the gates of hell. The next morning at breakfast, his mom says, Mr. Pickles didn't sleep at all. last night. I think someone scared him. Ma'am, it was me. I scared your dog with my enthusiasm.

Have you ever, well, I know you have. I was going to say, have you ever had sex at one of your partner's parents' homes, but like, obviously Joe's? Oh, I know another one you did. Probably Hobby's parents' house, definitely Chris's mom's house. I knew that one. Yeah. Yeah. Before. we go, I need to ask you, do you like working smarter, not harder or harder and not smarter? I would like to say that I would rather work smarter than harder, but oftentimes I find myself doing the hard work because everyone tells me to work smarter and not harder, but then I have to learn the hard way. So it depends. Well, this is why I'm asking you this. Remember, like, way back when when we first got, like, the robot Vax? Mm-hmm. Like, they were like the It thing.

like we had to have them. I don't have one, but yes. Well, I mean, I lost mine in my divorce too, so I don't have one either. But I'm thinking like I've, I have like a fetish or something with vacuums. Yeah, I'm aware. It genuinely is like something mentally wrong with me. But I've been researching this one that's like a vacuum and a mop at the same time. Yes. And I have seen that people love it. So if you end up getting it, please let me know. Well, I was thinking. thinking that we would get them for Christmas. Like, I'm going to buy them for us for Christmas because I like to buy vacuums. Um, I mean, obviously I'm not going to turn down a map box, a map, a mop vacuum. I'm never going to say no to that. But if it's expensive, don't buy me one.

Okay, well, too bad. I'm buying them as soon as we get off this recording. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app, follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. For our latest merch, visit coffee combospodcast.com. com to shop. Full video episodes are available on Kail's Patreon at patreon.com slash Kail Lowry. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. We hope that you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This thing on? I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine podcast where I get real, maybe a little

too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from. from Bachelor Franchise and Beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, and we're going to get through it. And so many more. So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions, and get a little vulnerable. because you know what we're all just floating on this weird little planet together follow rate and review off the vine podcast wherever you listen to your podcast