Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Consequences, School Safety & High Conflict Parenting

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

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What do you say thank you? This is coffee convoes with Kail Lowry and Lindsay Crissly. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here.

Here's Kail and Lindsay. Good morning, Kitty Cat. Hello Kitty. I almost wore my black kitty shirt. shirt for this episode. I'm going to wear it for next episode. How are we this morning? Good, but we're matching. We are. I'm wearing a black tea. This is skims, but I do have a blanket on because it's freaking cold. It's kind of like our souls currently. Yeah. My friend Emily was at the house the other day and she came with the conversation that I was just blindsided by. Okay.

Wow. She shows me, she sends me this Facebook post by a woman and it's like an actual face booker, okay? So it's not like AI. And it says, I gave my newborn baby up for adoption because I cheated and got pregnant by another man. My husband stated that there was no way I was bringing another man's blood into this house. As much as this hurt, I chose him over my newborn because I knew I was the one in the wrong. I feel so ashamed for putting my husband through this that 100 apologies wouldn't do it. I'm thankful, but surviving this mess has shown me what loyalty really costs. After the baby was adopted, he still ended up leaving me. Most women would have given their newborn baby up if they really loved their husband. There are parts of this that I'm like, okay, if the child would have been

better off in an adoptive situation, I get it. But to give a child up because of someone else, I don't get that. And I feel like that was very tactical on the man's part, right? Like, he had her put that baby up for adoption. She lost her child and then also lost him. Immediately upon reading this, I was like, I'm getting on this podcast and reading her for filth, right? Like, I am going to, but then I really sat with it and I was like, I can't sit here and say that she's a horrible person because one, I don't know her and I've never been in that circumstance. But I'm just like, what a roller coaster? Like, it sounds like if you maybe were cheating or the husband, maybe the marriage was a little bit tumultuous

at that time. Adoption probably was a good option. But like also now you've lost your husband for better or for worse. All the vows. None of it matters. But didn't that go out the window at the point of the cheating? Well, that's what I was going to say next was so if you cheated, you disrupted whatever vows and commitment that you had with your husband. So you, you cheated. At that point, you've already, why, why even, why gave the baby up at that point? Like, you've already, you've already disrupted the marriage. You've already done all of that. At that point, you leave and you raise this baby and you, but then are you going to be resentful towards the baby because you did, like, there, it is so.

The adoption is probably the right choice if she felt that way about her husband, just for the child's safety and mental health. However, if I was in the issues, and it's easy to say, okay well if I was there I'm not there for sure but putting myself there if I was there is no way if I made the choice to cheat got pregnant there's no way I'm giving that baby up to stay in that marriage that's how I feel as well I feel the same but knowing that some people would not think like us like there I don't know that there is a right answer here because there's so many ways to look at it but I just for topic of conversation like I was like I have to bring this to coffee combos because I truly and I when I first read it I was so pissed off Lindsay like I was pissed off

like I was hurt for this baby I was like what the fuck is wrong with the mom the husband like everything is wrong with this right like every single thing and then I slept on it and I was like but I don't understand the thought process from her because it's kind of contradictory right like okay I made these vows to my husband and I want to stay with him so I'm going to give the baby up I'm going to honor him blah blah blah okay but where were those vows when you were getting pregnant by somebody else? You know what I mean? I know somebody in like real life that cheated on her husband, got pregnant,

never told the husband that it was someone else's baby. The husband found a paternity test in a drawer at their shared home, raised that child as if it was his biological child, child did not know pretty much his entire raising that that was not his dad. And then the child request for like a 23 and me and or ancestry or something like that for a Christmas gift. Mom starts panicking because child has been raised as this other man's child he has no idea does the 23 and me and they also had another child who was gifted that as well both sent off the DNA and came back as half siblings but the dad already knew because he had found the thing in the drawer yeah could you imagine no literally no

And also I understand that like stuff happens and cheating is a pretty regular thing, not condoning it. I'm just saying it's like pretty regular from what we've seen. But why are you out here fucking and not ducking? Like that is my biggest gripe with all of this, right? Like anybody who, and really it came from like myself, like reading rumors about myself, reading rumors online that Kail Lowry doesn't know who the father of so whatever child, I think it was mainly Lux and Creed. And then when I had my miscarriage after Lincoln, it was like, well, whose baby was it?

Was it hobbies? Was it Chris's? Whatever. I have said over and over and over and over and over again. I have not been the best person. I have cheated in my lifetime. But during those fucking rendezvous and any time I've ever cheated, I personally, Kale Lowry is never putting myself in a position where I don't know who the father is,

okay? I'm not going to cheat and accidentally get pregnant. I'm not going to cheat and not be using protection. I'm not going to cheat and not know who the father is. I'm just never going to do that. I'm never going to not know who the father is. So when I would read those rumors about myself, it would be so infuriating. And because of that, I don't understand for men, too. When men are cheating on their partners, why are you not wrapping it up? Why are you not pulling out? Why are you being sloppy and careless and putting yourself in a position for a child to be a product of this cheating? It's multiple levels of disrespect, right? Like, number one, it starts with the cheating in general. Correct. Disrespectful action, be man enough, be woman enough to walk away. I can say that because been there.

Okay. Number two, you're cheating and you are cheating and not using protection and then subjecting the person that you're cheating on to your life decisions. That's number two. Number three, there is possibly a child that's going to be born into that situation, which is diabolical from the jump. Yeah, 1,000%. I can also say, just piggybacking off of what you just said, I've known you since. 2016. And never has there been a time since then that you have ever questioned who you were pregnant by? Never. Never. I know that I'm not a great. I'm not great at relationships. I'm aware. And I have cheated in my lifetime. But listen, I'm not putting myself in a position where I have to question who the dad is. I'm just not doing it. So I like, it's just such a weird, like when I think of women who have done that or men that have done that. I'm just like, how could you be that careless or that stupid, right?

Like, I can't wrap my head around it. And so I'm like, what the fuck were you thinking? Like, what? I wonder how many people have gotten in those situations that have led the partner that they were cheating on to believe that it was theirs, like the women who are cheating. To your point, you said you know someone. I also know someone. I've said it on another, I think it was Coffee Commons podcast episode,

was, I mean, they have a child, they have multiple children together now, but they also, there is a dark family secret. And if you think that it, in 2025 and beyond, that they will not figure it out, it's like, do you not live with the constant fear? It's kind of like when I think about like the conversations about like, I know people that are like, yeah, I can kill someone. I'm like, I couldn't, right? Like, I can't because the guilt would eat me alive. Like, even if I thought I could get away with it. The fear of getting caught would never, like, I would never be able to do it. Same thing with the child. I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't, Lindsay, the way that I would not ever be able to sleep with the fear of getting caught and the person finding out, like, that alone,

and I wonder where that comes from. Like, is that instinctual for a lot of people is like the guilt or fear of being caught prevents them from doing it, right? Or is that like taught? Because I can't never think of a time that like growing up something happened and then it was like I was hiding things and then like I don't know like where that comes from I'll just tell myself no and Kristen said that the other day we were talking about something and Kristen goes you never have to worry about kale skeletons because she'll call she'll call herself out I call myself out because you're not about to expose me like I'm going to expose me if I did something dirty you're going to hear it from me I'm not going to like it I'm not going to like what comes of it but you're going to hear it from me

before you hear it from somebody else. I totally agree with that. It's like just own your shit and move the fuck on. I have to tell you something, though. I was bawling my eyes out this morning sitting in the Pilates parking lot. I don't know what prompted me to take a 7 a.m. Pallades class, but I did. Okay.

And I had seen an assignment come up. So are all your kids at this point, like is everything, electronic and you get notification when like a new grade comes in. Yeah. Well, we have an app, like a school app and it has like, I'll show you. Hold on one second. And it has like, okay, one assignment missing, seven recent assignment scores, six recent grade updates, two recent attendance updates.

So each kid has their own list of things. That's what it looks like to have multiple kids on the profile. Yeah. And Creed doesn't. We're creed. He has his first picture day ever today. So they'll update his picture with his picture day. As fall begins, you're getting back into your routine, maybe going back to workout classes or recommitting to habits that just make you feel good. But here's a question. Have you thought about what you're actually cleaning your home with and how that might be affecting how you feel? I know that sounds a little odd to think about, but what you use in your environment really shouldn't be overlooked. It's easy to miss because there are so many products out there claiming to be clean or natural. but often they still contain ingredients linked to hormone disruption, skin irritation, and respiratory issues.

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at BetMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. 19 plus a wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531, 2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Okay. I need to go back to the school picture thing in a second. Okay. So Jackson had all of mine come to my email. I have it set up to email notification. So when he gets a grade on something, immediately it pops to my email, I can view the assignment. Yep. There was a personal narrative that he had to write for his ELA class.

Okay. He supposedly, like, submitted it the wrong way. And of course, I'm accusing him of not doing this assignment. And he's like, no, I did it. I just didn't submit it right. So email the teacher and she's like, no, he in fact did do it. He just did not submit it properly, blah, blah, blah. So I could not see what the assignment was or like what he wrote.

This morning, I opened it up and this is what his narrative says. Here's the story about how I met my forever best friend and the best dog I could ever ask for. Now, before, I had a puppy at two years old. And at this time, I didn't understand what a dog was or what a dog meant. So I would chase this puppy around the house, grab her tail, and squeeze her because I wasn't old enough to understand. I've grown up with that dog and she still does not like me to this day. I asked my mom and dad for a new dog, but they said that I had one and another one would be too much work. I never understood because my current dog hated me. It became three years later and I was seven

and still had no new dogs. My parents divorced and moved into different homes. The dog that didn't like me went back and forth for a while until I started playing basketball. At one practice, my dad took me out earlier than usual and we went to my mom's house and drove into her neighborhood and I asked my dad, why are we pulling into mom's neighborhood? He said, she wanted to spend some time with me, which there was something there that was much bigger to come. We stopped the truck and walked along a trail, and I asked where we were going. I kept asking where we were going, and he said, we're going to see your mom.

I turned and saw a sign that said Jackson and Georgia's Thanksgiving, and I saw a brown red puppy who jumped on me and licked me, and I kept saying, mom, who is this? Mom, who is this? And she said, this is your new dog. I cried happy tears into a cuddly dog and kissed her snout and said, I love you. And we played fetch for a little bit. She follows me and jumps on me to this day. Today is her birthday and she's going to get a pup cup.

She will be loved permanently and forever. I learned that being patient is Keith. The way that I had to blink around. Lindsay, if you don't turn that into a children's book. No, no, no. I'm not kidding. You need to self-pub. Like, Jackson needs to be an author.

Like, that needs to be turned into a children's book and sold on Amazon. Is that not the cutest thing in the world? That is the cutest story. Like, you could, Kail will do it. I published by Kale, Killer Publishing, Jackson's the author. We will get him a little illustrator. I am not kidding the way that you need to. That is the sweetest story.

And I just have. So sweet. I was like, wow, I really did something good for once in my life. You do a lot of good things. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. You do things for your kids and sometimes you're like, oh, my God, I work so hard on this. Yeah.

And the response sometimes it's just, you know, not what you were thinking it was going to be. And then you read something like that. And it's like, oh, wow, like he really took it to heart. I put in a lot of work. He understands. And you can see that. I love that. Good job, Jackson.

Another thing that I have to tell you is I found it to be very interesting that as I was surfing through my emails, you and I had talked about incidents that have transpired at school. We received, and I'm assuming everybody in the county received a safety pamphlet talking about safety being a top priority for the school and the district. and one of the many investments in school safety is made by the school board and an expansion of the school police department now with 35 certified officers. It lists our school officer and lists his credentials and it says that they do a three-pillar approach, every routine drill and plan in their investment. The pillars of prevention each school day begins with safety huddle involving the school's admin team and the school police officer. They talk about the day ahead. and plan for the typical school day, and when needed, they also plan out safety plans for any

special events like student assemblies. You will often see them partnering with law enforcement agencies present with us as part of a comprehensive planning approach. I find this to be very interesting because we have never received something like this ever before, and maybe the timing is just coincidental, but I don't really necessarily believe in coincidences. Do you understand that I never received anything from the school regarding a threat to my child's life on paper. I had to do an open records request through the county, and they sent me back a redacted record, blanking out the other child's name. I messaged the mom on Facebook because obviously our kids come home and tell us who did whatever to them

or who was involved in the situation. I find out that the child that did this to Jackson's mom also works in the school system, a teacher at another elementary school, and opened my message and never responded. What did you say in the message? Because the mom of the story that I told you before messaged me as well, but she wasn't nice about it. Like it wasn't like a, you know, the school, maybe she felt like the, school didn't do enough and she wanted to hash it out, like make sure that the kids are good,

whatever, whatever. It was like, it started off really nasty. So what did you say? This is what I said. Hi, Blank. I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to reach out to you regarding an incident at school last week and would like to talk. I hope everything is going okay with you and your son. Oh, so you were non-confrontational. You wanted to address it head on. And if these kids are going to be, here's the thing. It's like, I didn't know how, like, I really didn't like how the mom messaged me. I felt like it was really inappropriate and it was so far after said incident that I was like, this is so wildly inappropriate. When the school is not handling it, it's a threat to your son's well-being and you approach it in a very mature

and non-confrontational way. I feel like that is okay. Did the school ever give you an explanation for like what the fuck is going on? Or do you think that that safety, notice or whatever that was was like basically because of this incident and you doing the open records request and all of that. Do you feel like that was like sort of like a bandaid or what do you think? This kind of seems like it is. I'm not going to accuse them, but it kind of seems like that. Yeah. I also talked to the school officer and when I was trying to get information for that, I said that I wanted to file a report with the local sheriff's department because I wanted a wellness check on that situation to make sure that if they did

have any weapons in the home based off of the threat, that those were secured from the child. And the school officer told me that they have jurisdiction and local law enforcement doesn't, but it's very interesting to me that they're going to reference local law enforcement and assistance on this safety. That's interesting to me because whenever the whole situation happened with Elliott. I guess it was two years ago at this point. Was it two years ago? Holy fuck. It was, yeah, it was eighth grade going into ninth grade. So it was like the last school, they asked me, did we want to file charges? Did we want to press charges? And so that would require local law enforcement. And I believe, don't quote me on this for anyone in the Sumerner

School District. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me politely. I think our school officer, that school officer was part of Smyrna police? Well, apparently ours is like their own police department. Okay. And then local law enforcement aids them for certain things. But I just found it to be interesting that it was determined that it was a threat on my child's life. And that was coming from administration. I talked to the resource officer and they tell me that they have jurisdiction over the school.

and that the county doesn't, but the property resides in the county, and they also, in the event that there ever was a school shooting or whatever, do you think it's just going to be the school resource officer that's there? No, they dispatch out to local PDs. So that doesn't make sense to me. I also received a flyer within the last week about Georgia law and it requiring sex education. And it's this whole, I mean, it's a two-pager write-up for this permission slip for your kid to participate in sex ed. How do we feel about them going into sex ed classes at the school versus having the conversations at home? Or do we have the conversations at home and also allow it at school? I personally feel like the school part of it is a little touchy because you don't know how someone is politically, but when it comes to health, reproduction, consent, I do think it's important for it to be conversations to be had at both. Like I do think for my, for me personally, I'm not speaking to my kids about abstinence because it didn't work for my generation and the people that I surrounded myself. with and I'm not going to talk about that. I'm going to talk about consent number one and then two STD's third pregnancy. So for me, I'm going to sign the permission slip. But I also think that

parents should be in the know on what the sex ed curriculum is. So if you are living in a district that wants to have you sign a permission slip on this, I need to know what the coursework is. I need to know what the like curriculum is because if there is something I feel like I need to elaborate on or if there is something that I feel like I need to give other perspectives to, I feel like that's important for the parents to know what conversations are being had so they can elaborate or also give other opinions and perspectives. I agree. I definitely grew up in a household and mainly for the girls, abstinence was definitely preached. And we aren't going to have conversations about sex because you're just not having it and while from a biblical standpoint I I struggle

with this a lot because I do believe that just where I biblically align that you should save yourself for marriage however I didn't and I regularly think about Jessica Simpson and every time I talk about this, because she has been said that she had saved herself for Nick, for Nick, and then ultimately ended up getting a divorce, had a second husband. So I'm like, okay, that kind of goes out the wash when you divorce. You know, you've saved yourself for that. I just know growing up as a girl, I didn't have conversations about having sex. It was just don't do it until you're married.

to your point, knowing what is going to be discussed. It says students will participate in six lessons based on these topics. One lesson about puberty, human growth, and development. Students will be separated by gender for class instruction. Parents and guardians will be notified when these classes will be held. It says the topics that are going to be discussed is relationship education, risk of teen sex, risk reduction, risk elimination, rewards of healthy decisions and setting goals, risk of teen alcohol use, refusal skills, character development, parent involvement, and building self-esteem. Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible,

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memory, it was the same as yours. It was covered in health. One year. Very small. unit. I think they did separate us between boys and girls. I'm kind of of the belief that we don't necessarily need to separate at this point because I think it's just as important for the boys to know about the stuff about girls as it is for them to know about themselves. Like I, I struggled a lot in geometry. I probably could have done a lot more in health class paid attention if they would have talked more about, you know, risk factors and unhealthy teen relationships. teen abuse and relationships that should have like I'm just looking back to like I've never used geometry again after school like I failed it I wanted to I needed more I needed more on like

relationships and sex that's what I needed more of I'm going to sign the permission slip because I do think that these are important things to be discussed I just wish that it was like more extensive. So the kids, if it's six sessions of this stuff, that they were coming home with information per session so that it also opens up the conversation at home. Yes. Yes. I love that. And also, like, scare my kids. Scare them. Tell them that, show them the pictures for a good amount of time. Show them pictures of what the STDs look like. Show them what the risk factors are. Like I, it's not just pregnancy, right? Like, it's STDs. It's your, it's the, health, right? You're, I don't know, scare them because I wasn't scared enough. They,

they grazed over it. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I know that's not the school's responsibility, but had I been a little more scared, a little more educated on what sex was? And I literally talk about it in pride over pity. Like, I learned what sex was when I physically had a penis already inside me. That's what I knew what sex was, was that day. That night, I was like, oh, this hurts. This is uncomfortable. I'm doing this because of basically pure pressure. now I understand that and I was 14 years old. I understand that now a body part is inserted into my body and that's what sex was. Y'all didn't do your job. My mom didn't do her job. My dad didn't do his job in the school system and whoever else around me did not do their job. Listen, honey, I was made to be fearful of a dick. See, but that's what I'm scared. scare my children, please, because in a healthy way, in an appropriate way. I'm not saying because I also believe that like we should be talking about it, but like we should have an open conversation. But with, Like, caution. Proceed with caution.

I agree with you. Kristen said, we had health all middle school and weren't separated and it was extensive. Like condom on a banana, we saw the nastiest picks of STDs. Okay, I'm not going to co-sign the condom on a banana in sixth grade. See, but I am because I have six boys and the conversations that go on between, like, I don't know if my kids and their little friends think that I don't hear them. Kristen was at my house one day, we go pick up the kids. It's my kids and the friends and we're going home and they're going to go watch a movie

in the playroom and whatever. The conversations that were had in that car and they thought that maybe, and actually one of them told me, told us, me and Kristen in the front seat, what was going on, what was transpiring. And I'm thinking to myself, holy shit, do I need to have a conversation with this kid's parents, but this is also not my place. This is not my child. I am concerned so I am like you guys are too young to be having these conversations what

they're happening. So I am co-signing the condom on the banana in sixth grade because they're in sixth grade. I think that I want to stay like somewhat in this naive world. I think like, okay, my child is just a sixth grader. He's only 12 years old and we don't really need to be taking it that far but to your point what if he doesn't know how to use one that's a scary you know that's that's the flip side of it Kristen said they had girls get up and do the male reproductive system and dance format and song and the boys had to do the same imagine the scrawny boys wiggling his arms around singing i'm the fallopian too see what that to me is not helpful that's not helpful that is not because they're making it's a joke to them it's and there are fun ways of learning but

I don't think that that is not helpful. Okay, what do we feel about the, I can't remember if it happened in health or if it was home egg where they like partner you up with somebody and you have to keep the egg like not cracked. Do you remember this? No. Wait, okay. So you partner up.

So it's like a boy and a girl. You partner and they give you a basket and they give you an egg and you have to carry it around for a period of time. Kristen said in early childhood education, it's like a, the egg represents a baby and you have to work together to keep the egg on crap. How do we feel about that? I don't think that, I feel like the egg on cracked is more of like an elementary thing. Like you don't necessarily have to explain to them what the egg represents, but like

doing that more in elementary school. I think every fucking child that goes to a public school in America should get a baby, a baby that cries all night long. And you partner with male, female, whatever. You pick a partner because there are lesbian couples and gay couples that have babies. Pick a friend and you and that person have to share custody of this baby. Take care of the baby. Get up with the baby.

Do all of that. I think that is more. Like the egg thing has benefits to it, I feel like, and lessons within it that don't necessarily have to represent a baby and would be just as beneficial in so many ways for younger kids. They don't even have to understand that like this represents a baby. Does that make sense? Correct. Kristen said they were single parenting the shit out of us at my school. Steve, but that, I did not do the pathway in high school for early childhood.

So I didn't have that class. a friend of mine, her daughter is 16 and she just got a baby for the weekend, like the baby that she has to, like, get up with and stuff, because it's like an elective, not every child, not every high schooler has to deal with that. I don't think that should be an elective where it can be chosen. Like, I think that everyone should have to do that at some point. I agree. And I think it should be for like a week or for that entire semester or that, like, I truly believe that. I think that so we didn't need to do teen mom and 16 and pregnant to do this lesson had we just given everybody at a public high school gets a baby i agree back to the school pictures i gave up i have

listen lindsay we are fully fucking aligned okay i give up on school pictures like i'm gonna buy them whatever they look like i'm buying them because it's funny to me but when i tell you i have let my kids for the last probably three years just whatever they want to wear is what they want to wear I don't make sure they have a haircut and their hair is done but I don't care what they want to wear I'm going to order the pictures I don't really put them on the wall put them in like a frame and put them in my office or whatever but um get lincoln's pictures back Lincoln my dear son he's about to be 12 wore a bucky's hoodie okay bucky's the fucking gas station so today is lux and creeds picture day

and looks and creed are so different in their personalities creed is he's always been into clothes and what he wears he likes to pick his own outfits he's very into fashion that's his thing last night says like i really want to have a nice outfit for his first picture day love that for him got a haircut last night whole nine looks i did buy him like a nice little jean jacket and he it wasn't for picture day it just had just got it for him yeah to wear that couldn't find it don't know where he put it. It's brand new just out of the package. We looked in the trunk. We looked in the car. We looked in the house. We looked in the, we don't know where it is.

What do you think he puts on? Jersey. A Bucky's hoodie. Oh, a Bucky's hoodie because his older brother put on a Bucky's hoodie. A different Buckees hoodie, but a Buckees fucking hoodie nonetheless. So two out of my four school age children are wearing Bucky's hoodies for their fucking school pictures. Buckies hoodies with a fucking beaver on it, okay? A beaver. Lincoln's just said buckies. Great. Camo. Nice little vibe. That's fine. You wanted to wear it. You love it. Great. Lux has a beaver, fresh lineup, fresh cut, locks all twisted, perfectly to sleep down fucking beaver. You know, I, I respect it. And I remember as an adult, like going through old

yearbooks and stuff and my school pictures do you remember that store called jimbery i'll never forget it because my mom wouldn't shop there for me okay well my dad made sure that i had the matching set so it was like the bow like everything matching set always hair fixed all the stuff then i had jackson and i was like you've got to wear a collared shirt to school today like it is um picture day you need to look your best like we've got to go get the haircut you know you need to make sure that your face is moisturized like all the things that lasted until second grade yep sounds about right and for the last at least three school years he's worn a clemson jersey on picture day and i'm like okay when you look back at these you're going to be like what was I doing and he was like no I won't

he's manifesting getting accepted to Clemson Lindsay okay he's manifesting his college education so I fully support the jersey I would have been happier if Lux would have wanted to do a fucking Eagles jersey would have been nicer than the goddamn Bucky's hoodie okay Bucky's hoodie is wild like a beaver it didn't say Buckees Lindsay it was the fucking beaver it's a little it's a little wild i'm going to log in to this oh i can show you i can show you lincoln's as well lincoln's wasn't bad but it's just funny that it said bucky's in his school picture that's really what i was like you've got to be kidding me okay you probably can't see jackson's but like there it is oh love i love that i love the jersey it's giving he's an athlete and he's manifesting his

education and i'm like why do you look like you're wearing shoulder pads It does kind of look like I need Lincoln to be sponsored by Buckees, okay? Goodbye. I also need school picture companies to, like, get on board with the times. Why do we have the blue background? When I ordered online, which we didn't have when we were growing up, I don't know if you did, but it was like Life Touch or Legacy.

Yeah, it was Life Touch for us. head of time and then try to coordinate your shirt to the background. Now for Lincoln's, because he was the, I think Elliot's was first and then Lincoln's, I got online to order. You get to see them first and then you can choose your background color, which was nice. I love that for you. I do not order school pictures. And here is why.

All the pictures that I take on my iPhone are way better than what's coming from there. So if they need that photo to identify my child at school, great. Love that for you. If you want to put that in the yearbook, also love that for you. Don't need them at my house. I, yeah, I get it. But also, also, Elliot's, I got a link. And it was like, order every single, they, like, have it organized.

You can order from kindergarten to 10th grade at this point. Oh, wow. So, like, I kind of love that, too, because I go, you, You know, the listeners know, Kristen knows better than anyone. Like, I hyper fixate. So sometimes I'll get a wild hair and be like, oh, my God, where is Elliot's kindergarten picture? It's kind of like the waking up in the middle of the night and being like, where's my social security card? Yep.

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I hyper-fixate about stuff like that, like school pictures, too. Like, oh, my God, I have the last four years, but what about the last eight years before that? And it's so funny that you're saying that because I'm not like that at all, and I'm a mom of one. So you would think that that would be more me. Off-brand for you. Yeah.

And I'm like, I couldn't give a rip of out of school picture if you like fucking help me at gunpoint what's and Emily my friend Emily texted me last night and she was like I can't find a shirt for Nash to wear for picture day and I text her back I was like I don't give a fuck what my kids wear like I think it's funny that they're wearing buckies but like I don't give that much of a fuck it's so weird like how different we all are when it comes to stuff like that I have to tell you about this TikTok that I saw do you follow divorce coach Sam on yes I comment on all her shit I love her I want her on the podcast I want her on the podcasts too. I'm like, she could really bring some perspective. And I think that would be such a

great interview for you and I to do. But I saw this one TikTok and you might have seen it. But I'm just going to give you a little bit of a summary. She was talking about doing birthday parties together with co-parents. And she said 10 out of 10 that she does not recommend doing joint birthday parties together. And she said many reasons why. But the primary reason is that your children and act differently in front of each parent on their special day you are having them pick which personality that they want to be spoil spoiler alert she says they will always pick the high conflict parents expectations you will be confused and the child will conform to whatever the high conflict parent wants your kids may say that they want birthday parties together and they may but your kid

probably doesn't even realize that they're two different people between each parent don't do it to yourself and put yourself in an uncomfortable situation just because you think that your kid needs to have together birthday parties also when does it stop 16 17 18 no the parent wants a divorce which means two separate parties you both don't need to have big ass parties you both don't need to have a kid party find some more unique ways to do stuff for your kids birthdays no no no no I want you to go back and I need you to specifically reread the part about the personalities and the high conflict that the kid will most likely be for the high comp I need you to reread that and I'm saying that because it doesn't just apply to fucking birthday parties. I have been saying this for fucking years about my kids to the other parent. And I'm saying they are telling you what you want to fucking hear. And I am getting, Kail is the problem.

She's a common denominator. She's the common denominator. She's the common denominator. I have two kids specifically and they are not full siblings that say very specific things about the high conflict parent. No, I am not perfect. I want you to reread that. One more time.

Okay. So she says, spoiler alert. They will always pick the high conflict parents' expectations. You will be confused and the child will conform to whatever the high conflict parent wants. Your kids may say they want a birthday party together and they may, but your kid probably doesn't even realize that they are two different people between each parent. I cannot reiterate that enough. I literally just said in the beginning of this episode that my son will run to me and say,

my dad is about to blank, please don't say I said this. I cannot that is that is not just the case for birthday parties it is across the board for the high conflict co-parent situations um I have not done a joint birthday party in a really long time because they are problematic for everybody but I never thought about the two personality thing that is so interesting to me and I have never known how to put that into words but I knew I wasn't crazy I knew I wasn't fucking crazy Kristen said remember that time you thought it sounded like remember remember that time you thought you sounded like a bitch? And I said, that's you being passionate. And now I understand. No, I totally agree with this. While I am not high conflict and I invite will we normally go to like an arcade or do laser tag or something like that. Again, Jackson's birthday is in the middle of the winter. So we have to do inside activities. He's been invited with anybody that I've ever dated. Like, we'll all go together and do something. something, but we're not high conflict. And we very much nipped it in the bud with Jackson.

When we first divorced, he kind of started like trying to play us against each other when he was with me. He would do certain things. And then with Will, same thing. And finally, Will and I just got on the same page and said, hey, if he does this, make sure you say, okay, let's call the other parent and let's all have this conversation together. That lasted maybe four weeks. And he has not done it again. I have been witness to kids who are in high conflict co-parenting situations and those kids are very much chameleons. It's really sad, but I think at least for one of my situations, and I'm saying one of my high conflict because now one has turned into a little bit more high conflict and it has previously been. But for the high conflict one, I have,

come to the conclusion that he, truly, at the core of his being, does not think that he is problematic. He does not think that he is wrong. This isn't a case of, I want control. This is a case of you actually think this. You actually believe that you are right. You actually believe that you are doing right by the child. You actually, like, you think that you're not wrong. I'm pretty sure that you're describing a mental disorder. No, no, no. Lindsay, it's a mental disorder. It has to be because I, and like for, and I know I don't want to bring trolls into every

fucking aspect of my life, but like, when they're like praising him, I'm like, no, you're not getting the full, the reality of the situation. I see why you think I'm the villain. I get it. Like, I see why you think I'm the common denominator. I'm the problem. I am the one, right? what he is telling you is so far from like it's it's almost like you and I could see the same car

accident and have completely different perspectives but both are true yep okay both both are true this is what you took away from it this is what I took away from it but you can see how both of us got to that conclusion this particular high conflict situation is we watched the same car accident and you didn't see the same accident as me you saw the accident over there And so where did the story about this accident, but you actually saw a different one? I have said for many, many years, normally the dog that bites first is typically the one in the wrong. The one that needs the public affirmations from other people exposing things that aren't really exposure. It's just a false narrative of whatever you have created.

there are some people it is a mental disorder and I don't know what the mental disorder is is it narcissism is it pathological lying no that's a really good point because this is not and obviously you don't see it when you're with that person right or like you see it but you ignore it you justify it when you're out of it and you're removed from the eye of the storm that is how they see all of life not just this co-parenting conflict not just the joint birthday party, not just the, you know, that is how they see all of life. And so when you come, when you get to that place, it's like, okay, but now what do I do with this? I understand now that he is not trying to be problematic. This is what he truly believes to the core of who he is. What do you do

then? But how do you convince yourself? I'm fine to take accountability. If I've done something wrong, that might not prevent me from doing it. But I will circle back around the block and be like, I was maybe a little out of line, did that, sorry, let's move on. The type of people that you're talking about, they never see fault in their action. Never. So I don't know how you remedy that. And that's what I'm saying. So like, I want to ask Coach Sam that.

Like I want, because I hear what she's saying. And I agree with the birthday party situation alone. She also talked about in another video. And if we have time for it, we can talk about it here. If we don't, we can move it. I don't know if we talked about it. It's three things that in high conflict. I saw this.

I saw this three things in high conflict that she would. She'll just do it. She's not asking for the other parents' approval. She's not asking for the conversation. And it's so funny because these are the three things that I've done. So big events, prom, homecoming, things of that nature, cell phone, and car. She is not going to the high conflict cope. parent and asking for their input, their money, their time for those three things.

Lincoln and Elliott both have cell phones. I have never asked for either of those, um, either Javi or Joe to ever provide a single cent or dime or anything towards cell phone bills or the cell phones themselves. Javi, I think for a replacement phone offered to pay half for a replacement one time. He offered and I took him up on that offer. I think the rest, he's never put any money towards a single bill. Joe has never put a single dime towards the bill. I've never asked. They've never offered for prom and homecoming. Joe has never offered. I have never asked for a single dime. And then Elliot's about to get a car for his 16th birthday. I am not having that conversation with Joe. I do not care what he says. I will just do it. And those three things, in my opinion, for the, especially when we're talking about someone like who we just described, like a person who just to the, to the. core of their being, they just don't see things the same way that like a logical person would,

not going to them for any of those three things. I'm just not. How do you and Will do the cell phone? Who pays for it? Who bought the phone? So Will was actually not an agreement for Jackson to have a phone. And the only reason, and I do feel like he was a little young to get a phone. So I will agree with Will that had we remained married, he wouldn't have got a phone at that time. Fair. But with the divorce situation, I did not want to prevent Jackson from freely being able to have conversations with people and needing to always ask, hey mom, can I have your phone? Can I have your phone? Can I have it? So I said, I'm going to go and get him a phone. I will pay for the phone. I will pay for the device. I will pay for the service. You don't have to worry about any of it. We have never had a conversation past that point. If Will wants to take the phone at his house, I used to have a big problem with that. Now I'm kind of like, okay, well, it's his rules. So if he decides that he's taking the phone for a punishment, do I love it?

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That's better help.com slash coffee. I thought the car one was very interesting because the way that she described it was I'm not sharing a car with someone who hates my guts. Like I'm going to have to go to them on maintenance or like tires, you know, like all of those things, oil changes, the type of car that we're purchasing. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it because I feel like for high conflict, you cannot. Will and I don't hate each other. So I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean, we still share dogs for fuck's sake. So moving on from that, we had a listener submission and I wanted to get your thoughts on this one. This person says, out of curiosity, do parents drink alcohol at school events where you live? And do they drink at children's birthday parties? I went to a school fundraiser last night where alcohol was not serve. Multiple people had drinks in their coffee mug. Some even appeared tipsy. I just find this so weird around children, let alone at the school at an event that was held outside of the school

by the playground. Also, at many birthday parties, I've gone to pick my kids up at 10 and 8, and parents are sitting by a fire drinking while the kids are present playing. Is this the norm today, or is it just the town I live in? It's a pretty well-to-do town, lots of wealth here. I just feel so out of place. Am I overreacting? It makes me so uncomfortable around my children. I don't drink at all ever, but I'm wondering if this is normal everywhere. So interestingly enough, that's how I grew up. Everyone drank at all functions when I was growing up, birthday parties, get together's, playdates, the parents were drinking.

That was what they were doing. I don't know if it was the area. I don't know. When Javi and I were the coach and parent, coach and teen mom duo, teen mom. When Javi and I were the coach and team mom duo for Lincoln, I think it was like three years. There were parents at football that put liquor in their tumblers, like their Stanleys, their whatever, their hydro drugs, whatever. I never thought anything of it. I know it's inappropriate because you're not supposed to have alcohol at those places, but I also am not naive enough

to think that people aren't doing it. I know that parents are doing that football games, practices, whatever. It's not for me. I know that it happens. Again, it's not for me. Birthday parties also, I think since I had kids, the, you know, my kids' fathers' families have always been, there have been drinks and alcohol at birthday parties. I'll say that. So it's normal to me. Do I agree with it? No. Am I going to say anything? Probably also no. Am I going to drink at things like that? Definitely not. I have witnessed in all areas that this person is describing people drinking, whether it be concealed in a Tumblr. I'm not sure. The only school events and stuff that I've been to are more like field days and school assemblies and like PTA-sponsored stuff. I'm sure there are people there doing that. However, I'm not bringing alcohol on a school campus.

Like, I'm personally not comfortable doing that. Am I going to judge somebody else for doing it? No, quite frankly, I don't care. I'm there to monitor my own child. Don't care what somebody else is doing. As far as birthday parties are concerned, most of the time, there is alcohol. There are times, okay, for example, Jackson's graduation party. a couple of parents stopped by. Will and I were there. His parents were there. There was

beer, white claw, and I think champagne. Parents were drinking. Will and I were drinking, but not to the point of we couldn't be responsible for the children that were there. Right. And I think that there is like birthday parties, events, things like that. If there's drinking, if there are, if there's alcohol available, I think that it's like, okay, are there also people here that are sober that are going to be the eyes if something were to happen? I think that should be, I don't know if it should be a spoken rule or if it can be an unspoken rule, but like I know that if I'm on an event and parents are drinking, I don't drink. So I, for me, if I see something, I'm going to help. You know what I mean? But it, I don't know. It's one of those things. I, the river is waiting. It's a book changed my life

forever and I'm not being dramatic. So many people are like, I've read it. I thought you were being dramatic. No, I'm not being dramatic when I tell you that changed my fucking life. Okay. This dad has mostly been like a casual drinker and takes out of van, which is I think like, right? Starts abusing it and ends up. And this is not a spoiler because the book starts like this.

Okay. He's teetering the line a little bit between like, okay, this is like a casual thing to like, I'm not quite. addicted, but like now I'm doing it more than I should, but I'm not quite addicted. Does that make sense? Runs over his own kid and kills him. Backs right over his toddler twin. Okay. First chapter of the book sends you on a fucking spiral. Okay. That book changed my life forever. So it's like accidents can still happen when alcohol is involved and it's responsible. I agree with that. I don't know if I told you this, but I stopped drinking. It's been about six or seven weeks ago. All together? Or just like just all together? I mean, I'm proud of you, but like what made you make that

decision? I don't know. I just feel like I am so much more productive. It truly was kind of just like a thing that I did socially with whoever it was dating or I would go out with girlfriends at like a local place and we might grab a drink after work or something like that. And then I kind of started getting back into like my Pinterest era days. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, now it's fall and, you know, I want to do all these things to the kids. And I want to decorate my porch. And I want to read. And my drinking white qual like doesn't really fit into that. So I just literally cold turkey one day, never did it again. I don't know why I'm so emotional about that. I don't know why I'm so emotional about that like trying to blink away too i don't why am i emotional i don't know but i'm

proud of you that's exciting i mean i mean even if you like out of the two of us like you you drank white claw truly is whatever eliza drank chris really wasn't a drinker hobby kind of casual drinker joe sort of the same thing um but i i think so often we don't realize how casually uh alcohol fits into our lives i think that People think, oh, well, I can have a drink or two drinks every single day and I'm not an alcoholic. No, I think by definition, if you drink one drink per day, you're an alcoholic. And so you don't really- Yeah, and you don't really realize what the impacts or the effects of it are until you stop.

And so, like, you might not realize that that one drink, maybe you have, like, weight loss goals or, like, fitness goals. And those one or two drinks every single night will change your fitness goals a little bit, and maybe you reach them faster or maybe you're not as productive, like you were saying. And, like, I'm not, as a child of an alcoholic, I still, it doesn't necessarily bother me. Like, if I'm with someone, Elijah was a casual drinker, he might have one or two here and there, never really bothered me. But, like, you know, maybe for him, too, like, because y'all were white claw, truly drinkers. Yeah. He might be more productive if he wasn't, if he's not drinking.

And so, like, whatever, I just, it's so interesting how different and I don't know, that what you just said could inspire someone to not drink. And I just think I just, I feel like it was such a casual thing that I did. And then also whenever I didn't have Jackson, it's kind of like that divorce situation with kids when you're sharing 50, 50 time and 50% of your life looks one way. And then 50% of your life looks another way. And I know that I've talked to you about wanting my life to look the same, even if I have Jackson or I don't have him. Um, so I just one day just like through all the white claws. away out of my fridge and have not looked back and don't miss it. And I'm like waiting to purchase my Kindle. Actually, I can purchase it today because I think it's like 40% off on prime. So yeah, like that I don't know. It's so weird in your friend group changes. Yeah. And isn't that weird? Yeah. Like because you now, there are certain friends that you have and people will relate to this that you were kind of like socially friends with them in a drinking capacity. So like you might go and meet them out somewhere and grab a drink. But that would be the only thing that you would do

together. Yep. And now I like have no desire to do that. I'm very focused on just like doing stuff around my house and reading and organizing my closet. And I know that sounds so boring. But at the end of the day, those are things that make me happy. And if you decide that you want to have a White Claw while you're reading and you're being productive, do it. Kristen said her and Corey lost all their friends minus one couple when they stopped drinking. So I've kind of set myself, my mindset of I'm not going to drink, but if I had a drink, then it might be on like a football Saturday. Fair.

But like during the week, there's going to be no alcohol consumed. I don't want it regularly in my house. I didn't grow up with alcohol in my house. not that it makes it wrong for me to have it in my house. It's just not something that I want to open up the fridge or I want my kids opening up the fridge and seeing like, oh, there's a white claw. Although I do think there are benefits to that in some cases. I do feel like it can desensitize.

I think so often, like, young adults get, like, hung up and just go down a rabbit hole as soon as they turn 18 or 19 or 21 or high school, whatever. They've never been exposed to alcohol. and now they're like binging and I don't think that's always the case I'm just saying like someone who is and maybe it goes the opposite way maybe it's like you see white claw in the fridge growing up and you're you see it every single day all days of the week and then you're like oh like this is normal or it's like I've seen it my whole life I don't have the desire to like black out on my first 21st birthday you know what I mean like I think there's there can be a happy medium

with that I think if it is done properly and I don't care chastise me if you You want to, the kids that I'm raising, if they want to try something before they go to college, try it under our own roof, because I don't want to get the call that they didn't know how to drink and went out and got belligerent, got behind a wheel, possibly harm themselves, possibly harm somebody else. Like, we're going to learn those things in this house before you spread your wings. I also agree. I definitely agree with that. My mom let me try alcohol. I took one sip of a Smyranoff and I spit it out so fast, hated it, and never... Did your mom ice you with Smyranoff ice?

Yeah, my mom loved Smyranoff. We love that for her. And on that note, we have foul play. For years, I have been patiently waiting for a story to submit with foul play. And it dawned on me that I already have a story. Last summer, my boyfriend and I took our first vacation to Europe, Italy, to be specific. We went to attend the Erez tour. First of all, you went to Italy.

I love all. was my swifties. I don't care if you don't like Taylor. I am a Taylor Stan. The day before our trip, my boyfriend had told me that he suddenly had a very painful pimple on his ass right next to his crack. What a great time for this to happen knowing we were about to be on a 10-hour flight. I took a look for him to see what I could do, but unfortunately at this point, it was just a bum. This poor guy was suffering our entire, I bet this is a hemroid. This poor guy was suffering our entire flight and would get up to walk around just for relief. For the next two days, I kept having him put on hot compresses,

but still no head formed. I think it's a bowl. A boil? Yeah, it's like that. A bowl. Don't you think it is? I don't think it's a hemorrhoids because I don't think you have, like, outside, like, dangling hemorrhoids.

Do you? I didn't have them. Yeah, I've never had one, but I think you can. Walking around in the heat clearly wasn't helping the situation, and it was chafing horribly. Then comes the night before our photo. shoot I had planned while we were in Lake Como. It's about 2 a.m.

We are both awake, and he begs me to take a look at his butt crack because he's in pain. Finally, there was a tiny head. When I tell you, it was the most disgusting yet satisfying thing I have ever popped in my entire life. I barely nicked it, and a pea-sized amount of pus came out. I had to take a photo to show him. The huge sigh of relief he let out because all of that pressure was released. Then I noticed it was definitely an ingrown hair that I had to do. We were both wrong.

To make things better, this was our first time having a photo shoot and we were very uncomfortable because we were not used to posing or having people take our photos. That is, okay, that's a whole other conversation for another episode, your first photo shoot together. We got to talk about it. Anytime the photographer would tell us to smile and laugh, we would just look at each other and whisper that ingrown hair, though. We now have this inside joke when we show people those photos.

They have no idea what we're laughing about, that damn ash cheek, ingrown hair and the pain he endured that week. It was most certainly a vacation to remember. I hope this gives you guys a good laugh because we still laugh about it to this day. The way that that has happened to me, because I shave like my butt crack and my butthole, the way that that has happened to me and I'm like, nobody can look. Wait, like you've gotten an ingrown hair like in your abscrack? Kristen said, see, no skeletons?

Yeah, on my actual butt cheek. And now I have a scar that looks like a mole. And now I don't want to do doggy style. because you can see the fucking scar that looks like a mole and it's not. Okay, I will tell everybody like this hack, go to a waxer. If you ever get an ingrown hair, go to a waxer and let them professionally remove it because the damage that you do trying to get it out yourself is more damage than just going to pay to get it removed.

Yeah, because now I have a scar. Also, I have two, like one like in my butt crack and then one like on my butt cheek. one's from, that one's from a bug bite. The one in my butt crack is from an ingrown hair. Wait, remember when you told us that you were going to do a video for us, crouched down? Yeah. And you never did. I never did. I will. I need to. Also, we've recorded so long and I have to peeve so bad, though. Okay. On that note, thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app. Follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. for our latest merch, visit www.comfospodcast.com to shop.

Full video episodes are available on Kail's Patreon at patreon.com slash Kail Lowry. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This October, fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from paranormal activity, The Ring. will die in seven days scream and from dusk till dawn this is my kind of place and don't miss the man-made nightmares in mary shelley's frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later something in the blood all the scares all for free Pluto tv stream now pay never I get real. Maybe a little too real sometimes

with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor Franchise and Beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nikki Glazer, Wells Adams, Elise Myers. Just, like, in this, like, business jacket, like, I would love some tacos. Heidi DeMilio, Big Brothers, Taylor Hale.

I have to bring it up because it happened, and we're going to get through it. What I do. And so many. more. So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions, and get a little vulnerable because you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow rate and review Off the Vine podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts.