Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Daycare & Vasectomies

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

CC407: Lindsie and Kail have some thoughts on a parenting article where a psychologist states that daycares can be detrimental for your children. Kail shares what she has seen with her own children, and Lindsie argues that children in daycares are perhaps more well-rounded. Vasectomies are Lindsie's favorite subject, but don't ask us why. She explains how she dealt with the idea when she was still married and how she believes she isn't done having kids.Thank you for supporting our sponsors!Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app.Thrive: New customers can get the Liquid Lash Extensions Mascara and a mini-sized Brilliant Eye Brightener at a special set price with free shipping at https://thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEE or save more with 20% off your first order at https://thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEEShady Rays: Head to https://shadyrays.com with code Coffee for 35% OFF their premium polarized sunglasses.Stamps: Visit Stamps.com and use code COFFEE for a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale!Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn moreFull video is available on Patreon: Patreon.com/kaillowry See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for you charge. I Hate gift-giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley I really want you to be in your feels, Kayle. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here.

Here's Kayle and Lindsay. Good morning, kitty cat. Good morning, kitty Lindsay. I, first of all, let me just start by saying I miss you. And I think that we're overdue for a trip to get together. We definitely are overdue. I feel like we're probably missing each other because we saw each other so much last year.

They're like, that's where it's coming in. Well, so a couple of weeks ago, you recommended the doctor to do the really in-depth evaluation for ADHD and I booked an appointment. So I'll be flying out to Georgia with my child in June and I figured we could maybe get dinner. We can definitely get dinner. We can definitely go to the jump park.

We can definitely ride golf carts around. We can definitely do all things. Did you know that psychologists are claiming that daycare is harmful for kids? No, I did not. And if it is, I would have to disagree because I'll tell you right off the bat, right off the bat. The difference between Isaac Lincoln Lux somewhat creed because he had a nanny until he was three and then went to preschool. And then Rio Versin Valley, who have never been to daycare, well, Rio is in there now. The difference between them, I mean, but are we talking about full time daycare? Or are we talking about like part time play care?

So I found this article on parents.com and it says this psychologist claimed that daycare is harmful for kids. Many parents and experts agree. It says parents all over were floored last week when a clip of a psychologist claiming that daycare is super harmful to children went viral. It says that she is a psychoanalyst and parenting coach. She's claiming that daycare is super harmful to children went viral. It says that she is a psychoanalyst and parenting coach. She's claiming that putting your kids in daycare would cause long-term psychological issues. It says, yikes, this is a very extreme way of describing what happens to kids in daycare. And with so many of us having really no choice but to put our kids in some kind of care in these early years, hello, having a job and other responsibilities, this kind of take is bound to create unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Parents do not need any of that. We caught up with a therapist, educators and psychology experts to help us unpack what was said to help understand the truth behind how daycare impacts kids and how to ensure your kid has a positive experience in daycare. It says, experts reaction among other points, this expert said that putting your baby in daycare at a young age increased aggression and behavioral problems later in life. She also emphasized that daycare is harmful for parent and child attachment.

Those first three years when children are so very fragile and vulnerable, taking them away from your body as a primary attachment figure and handing them over to strangers and leaving them there for hours on end will cause your child to develop pathological defenses. I could see that part of it, the attachment to like you're sort of severing the attachment between the parent or the care, the primary caregiver and the caretaker. The other parts of it are kind of shocking to me because on

the flip side of it, you have to look at the socialization and the skills and the things that they're learning depending on what the program is. It's hard because I've been on all sides of that as well as being a parent of multiples. I do see the effects of more isolation in the twins, for example, because they'll be almost two years old when they start play care. And they'll only go for three or four hours in the day. But that's, I understand, a luxury and primarily for socialization. It's shocking to me that it would lead to anything. What would cause them to, I guess, study this? Because people have had to put their kids in daycare since

what the night, like before the nineties, like what, I mean, I don't even know what is the alternative. That's where I was going to go with it. Like, I understand the things that are being said. However, I don't understand what the alternative is for that situation. Because if you have two working parents, where are the kids going to go? Even if they go to a grandparent, it completely negates this theory, right? Because if they're going to daycare, they're being taken care of by somebody else, or they're going to grandparents, like

family member, whatever. It's still a strain between mother and child. And I also think about, and I've talked about this before a little bit, but I see it more now than ever is like my schedule is so insane that, I mean, Rio and the twins, I don't get much time with them from the time that I get home with like sports and things like that. I mean, their bedtime is pretty early. A typical working parent who works a nine to five or any sort of schedule like that, or a parent that has to work after hours or take their kids to sports, they're not getting that quality time from the hours between after school and bedtime. They're not getting quality hours.

So regardless of who they're with, unless there's a stay at home parent, but even then the same can be said for the child and the other parent or caregiver if there's two. So like, what is the alternative? We all just stop working for the for the first three years of their lives? I don't think there is an alternative. I think that this is a pointless study to, to be frank, and to be fucking guilt trip all the parents out here that are it's fear mongering, it's guilting, it's horrible. Like, that's

not fair. I feel like unless you are solo home with your babies up until three years old, where your entire your entire attention is on that child, I believe that daycare kids or would argue that daycare kids are more well balanced children because they've had to learn a lot of things that let's say you just have one kid, right? They're not learning to share at home. They're not learning how to interact with other people. They're not learning how to separate from you. Those are all things that children that are in some type

of daycare, whether it be a preschool or full blown daycare. They're learning all of that stuff where whether it be a preschool or full blown daycare, they're learning all of that stuff where it's almost a disservice. And I felt like I was doing Jackson a disservice because I had him home for so long. I started putting him in like mother's morning out. So it was two days a week for like three hours each day for those two days. And I feel like he learned so much just being around other kids and someone else teaching him different ways of things versus me. No, I agree. I mean, even with my twins being home, just the two of them, I mean, they're only

learning to do things with each other. They're not learning things to do things with other, like peers, their age and, you know, developmentally and things like that. So, peers their age and, you know, developmentally and things like that. So, I mean, yes, there may be a downside to daycare, but I also think that there is a flip side to daycare too. And an article like that, that is solely one sided. I don't know how I feel about that. Like, I'm also thinking like downsides of daycare. I feel like daycare kids are sick all of the time, but you also have to look at immunities that are being built up to you know, like, Jackson experienced a decent amount of sickness his kindergarten year because he was only going to mother's morning out like two days a week,

and he would sometimes be in the church nursery like on Sundays. But other kids who had been like socialized and around like all of these germs on a regular basis were not experiencing that same thing. So there's a give and take in all situations. There's a positive and negative to everything. I agree with you. I mean, obviously the cost and things like that, but we have to talk about the structure, the routine that's built, you know, with consistency, the socialization. I don't know about where Jackson went, but where my kids go, they have

an outdoor classroom. So they have a whole section for rocks and gardening. It's really cute. So I feel like, I don't know, there's so many pros and cons. And that's the same for all things in life is you have to weigh the pros and cons. And maybe for some families, they're able to, you know, dial it back. Or if there is like a part time program that is beneficial, which is what the twins will start in the fall. No, speaking of that, I told the owners I was like, I'm gonna have to bring a wagon in to drop these kids off because I won't have enough hands. So I'll have to like take the wagon out of the trunk, put the twins in it with their stuff and then let either carry Rio

or walk or even put them in the wagon too and bring them into the school that way. Bring all three of them into the school that way because there will not be another way. So let me get this straight. You're going to pull up in suburban. Denali. Same, same. Same. Let me get this straight. You're gonna pull up in suburban. Denali. Same, same. Same. You're gonna get this wagon out and you're gonna pop it up. And you're gonna take each child individually out of the car seat

and strap them in said wagon, and then take them in. Yeah, there's no alternative. Does your daycare have like the drive through thing? Nope. So it's just through thing? No. Cool. Nope. So it's just parents enter and exit. Yep. Okay.

We had a, I don't know, it was like a carport like type thing where you lined up for carpool and once they got to a certain age they brought them to the car which was really nice and I only had one but the walk in the kids in thing walking in with one at that age. It's like, oh, fly. Oh, spider. Oh, flower. I couldn't imagine doing that with three kids. I do it now with two. Um, because Creed's upstairs and Rio is downstairs. Creed will go to Luxus school in the fall. And

then I'll have Rio verse and Valley all going. Creed will go to Luxus school in the fall and then I'll have Rio verse and Valley all going. And Rio, so there's like double doors and you have to hit the button to like be buzzed in the first set of doors. Rio always wants to hit the button. Well, there's a bell outside that they let the kids ring when they like leave or come or whatever. Well, sometimes Creed wants to do that. And then Rio wants to hit the button. And then Rio doesn't want to walk from the car to the building. He wants to be carried from the car to the building. Well, that's all great and good. But then I also have to hold his backpack and then Creed has to wear his backpack. And I have to hold Creed's hand because we're in a parking lot. And then Creed's upstairs. So in order to

bring him, I drop Rio off in the classroom first because he's on the main floor. drop Rio off in the classroom first because he's on the main floor. And I don't want the longer I like prolong dropping Rio off, I'm scared of waterworks because I mean, he's really good about going in. Now he loves his teacher, he loves his classroom. But like if I deter from that pattern of events, I don't want to upset him. So I'm like, okay, hold on Creed. But Creed also there's two sets of stairs for Creed's classroom. He doesn't want to go in the first set of stairs. He wants to go into the second set of stairs, which is fine. So we go in past the first set of doors, first set of stairs, go into the next door, drop Rio off, and then go to the second set of stairs to take Creed upstairs. And then I go back downstairs through the front stairs to go out the front door so that Rio, I don't pass pass Rio's classroom again so that he doesn't see me. So now this time I'll have the wagon this time in the fall wagon will drop Rio off and

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When they get like elementary school age, are you going to request for them to be in the same classroom or different? Different. Tell me why. Because I know they'll be in the same class through, I call it play care. It's daycare, but it's play and there's a curriculum. I want them to have a sense of independence and be individuals. I understand that they're twins. They have shared a womb. They have shared a house. They've shared a room. They

will share. Yeah, like a birthday. They'll share lots of things. And like growing up, I know that they'll have some of the same friend groups, especially if Valley and Orverse decide to play sports. And if they play any of the same sports, they'll they'll I'll have to request them on the same team for scheduling purposes. And so there's going to be so many things throughout their lives that they're going to do together that I want to be able to give them some sense of independence when they're younger and like they'll see each other at recess, they'll see each other at lunch.

I don't think that it's necessary for them to also be in the same classroom at school. Do you worry about them having any type of separation anxiety from each other when that time comes? That's a great question. So far, no, because I never take them anywhere without the other. Like there's never been a time that I take them

one without the other. I guess there's two doctor time that I take them one without the other. I guess there's two doctor appointments that I can think of, one for Valley and one for Verse in almost 18 months that they were separated. That's literally the only time they've ever been separated in 18 months. That's crazy. Well, I get those two times. Valley had an appointment and then Verse had an appointment and those are literally the only in 18. So I don't,

that's a great question. But now that they're walking, because they just, they are a little bit delayed. So they were five weeks early. This month, they'll be 16 months. So technically, they're 15 months and they just started walking. I do think they'll get a little bit of independence there and we'll start to see really what their interests are now that they're walking. I'll be curious. Will they follow each other or if they don't? That's interesting. I was thinking maybe in the summertime when I'm able to take them down to see the animals and stuff, how they react to them, how they react to being outside now that they're walking because they do think it's a little bit different. But and like also how Rio will engage with verse versus Valley because verse is a boy. And so I don't know if they'll have similar interests or not. Like I'll be curious to see how that

all plays out. So I grew up with a set of identical twins and they had major separation anxiety during school and their parents separated them into different classrooms for the exact same reason of what you're saying, like learning their own independence individual from each other. And that there's a time and a place to be together in a time and a place to be apart. And I think that that's really great. I would just be so fearful of what type of anxieties they would experience when you've been I mean, just

think about that, like, somebody that is you, but like not you that you've been with your whole life. I will be curious to see what people say about this conversation because I do feel like the bond between identical twins is very different than fraternal twins. Oh, interesting. Yeah, because I know that Elijah has twin cousins, their first cousins that are identical twins. They were in the same class growing up all the way up, I think, until last year. I don't think his aunt would have a problem with me talking about it. Now, one of them wants to be with the other, but the other one wants to be more independent. They're older. I

think they're in fifth or sixth grade. I don't know, I think the bond is different between identical and fraternal because identical is like, It's like the same person. It's just like a double. And like, yeah, they have minds of their own. But I think just by nature, some of them have, I don't know. I don't know. But then I talked to Taylor and Taylor is a fraternal twin and she and her and her twin are like, like they know what each other's thinking. So I don't know. But then I talked to Taylor and Taylor's a fraternal twin and she and her and her twin are like, like they know what each other's thinking. So I don't know. Speaking of that, these twins that I grew up with both girls,

identical. They took the SAT and both got the exact same score on SAT. That's crazy. You can't tell me that like the brains are not the same. It's so like identical twins are so fascinating to me because I'm like, okay, you're literally identical, the egg split. Okay. I know that you have two different brains, but the egg split. So how do they not think the same way and they don't have like, I don't, I guess, environmentally speaking, like the environment will the same way that two people can see the same accident happening walk away with two very different perspectives

of it. I guess it's like that, like how life, like what perspective you have on life, but I don't understand how they don't think the same way or they don't have the same strength and weaknesses. And I also think that if you are an identical twin, you can still have one right handed and one left handed, which is like, I don't understand it. How? I don't know if the egg split. They're literally the exact same. Like I don't understand and I just need more information. But you know what's really weird with the three youngers that you have? They're basically triplets. triplets.

Yeah. Because Rio's I mean, they're the same age for a month. So they're poor Rio is probably like, I'm not a twin Wednesday like their heights even out and there's three of them that are roughly the same size. If people ask me if they're triplets, I'll just be like, yeah. Do you think he's ever gonna have a problem with him with their ages being so close of him wanting to be a twin with them versus not? Interesting. I mean, I always wanted to be a twin. I just feel like because they're the same age doing the exact same stuff, like, is he

going to have resentment? Is he going to be like, well, why wasn't it me? That's a good question. Look, I'm just out here coming with the zingers today. While we're on this topic, someone says, Kale, would you mind sharing some of the learning toys the teacher recommended for verse and valley? My twins are about the same age and I'm always looking for more ideas. Oh, yeah, I will. Absolutely. I know that the sensory bins have been a good thing. And then something really, really simple that her nameHolly, one of the therapists, she's not a therapist, she's an ECE, which is like a teacher. She comes to the house on Fridays

and she made this like, you know, those flip top like Clorox wipes containers. So obviously rinse it out so there's no Clorox in it, but putting pipe cleaners like those. Okay, so they can pull out. Yeah. And so like putting them cleaners like those. Yeah. And so like putting them back in and pulling them out. That was one that and you can make that at home for like literally $5. sensory bins and I have stuff that I'll put on I'll put it on an Amazon list. Let me write this down. And then I'll make

another list because she we share a list on Amazon. So she'll like put stuff on there and then I'll order it or I'll make it. There's been a couple things that I'm like, oh, wow, that was like a really good idea. And because Don't you think someone else comes up with it and it's like such a simple thing. And you're like, why didn't I think of that though? No, literally, I literally, I will say that. And they're a little pricey. So please don't hate me. But like maybe for a birthday or like a milestone, somebody could like order it for you. Love Every has been really great for toys that are very like age appropriate. And if your

twins are early like mine, they are on the delayed schedule. They've been really great and they promote like learning. So that's a really good option. Is it love every subscription base? It is. So you can subscribe for one year. I got it as a gift for somebody. So I think you can do like a play kit or you can do multiple. Definitely check it out. It is a little bit pricey, but like I said, maybe for a birthday or something, somebody could put money together or maybe go have a z's with the mother-in-law. I don't know. I'll put together a list of what they've recommended. The twins did walk

late so that was highly concerning for me because I've never experienced that. I've never experienced really any sort of therapies or delays out like until I had the twins. It would be so hard to have multiple children and some do certain things earlier than others and not to get caught up in that. I didn't have anything to compare it to. And I just watched the charts or whatever, I think it was subscribed to some app. And it's like, okay, walking should be starting between, you know, blah, blah, blah. And picking up things should be at this time or crawling should be at this time. And he met those mile markers. But I couldn't imagine in your situation, like, let's say if Rio was doing all this stuff so fast, and then the twins had different delays, I'm sure you were freaking out. Oh, I was freaking out, freaking out. I mean, I was crying when Valley was in the NICU because

I was like, you know, if she's has delays, and if she you know, I was my mind was even going to like, if she's going to be on the autism spectrum, like, what can I do now? And not that that's a problem, like, obviously would love her regardless. But I'm like, what can I do for her right now? And the doctor looked me dead in my face and was like, Kale, you're not going to know if she's on the autism spectrum for years and you won't be able to get therapy until she's diagnosed. So like, stop worrying about that. But that's where I was like, no, but this is my, like, I want to help her now. Like if she's going to be delayed, what do I need to know right now? So that as this as the time and they were like, Kale stop. But she, Valley graduated out of PT last year. So she wasn't even in it for a full year, anything. She's not in any sort of therapy now. She

did walk late versus more so in the therapies and things like that and wore a helmet for a while and did all of that. It's definitely been challenging for me as a mom because like you're saying, seeing your kids who are on track and then you see things like the CDC cutting down all the vocabulary, they're saying that now they only have to and nobody really noticed. It was like one day someone just goes on there and realized, oh my God, the CDC changed what the vocabulary word should be the count should be and nobody has been talking about this. And it's like, is that a problem with society and as a whole or did we originally have unrealistic expectations and now that they're more like on track? I

don't know. So like that's also scary because you're like, is my child on track or is are they not? Okay, spring is upon us, the weather is warming up and I love to change my makeup routine around that time of the year and go more simplistic. So whether you are all about simple mascara and gloss or if you love to play with bold shades and colors, there's always a trusty favorite you probably go to for every single look. For us, it's absolutely Thrive Cosmetics. You've heard us talk about this for such a long time. We are For us it's absolutely Thrive Cosmetics. You've heard us talk about this for such a long time. We are absolutely obsessed over here. Thrive Cosmetics makes certified 100% vegan and cruelty-free products that you

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a little bit toxic with it as a parent by trying to follow all of that stuff. Number one, who set those rules and do we really trust them? And I think every child is so unique and individual in their own way that just because your child might have walked a month later than somebody else's child doesn't mean that that child has a delay. I would agree. I think where it gets concerning is lowering the word count for a certain age all together. But I also, and I would be so curious to hear what people have to say about I think where it gets concerning is lowering the word count for a certain age altogether.

And I would be so curious to hear what people have to say about this. I think there's a word count by 12 months or something. I'm going to be so real with y'all. I think my kids maybe said two words at 12 months. My kids really didn't start talking until 18 months old. It's crazy too. I feel like the mama, dada, I don't know, like they have a brother or sister's name, like whatever, just like small little words that they're repeatedly hearing over and over and over again,

they're probably gonna get by 12 months, but I 100% agree. I feel like Jackson was talking, I'll have to get his baby book out, but maybe somewhere around 16 months. And I never had any concern. Like once he started working and like got it, it came so natural. But I feel like it took a long time. All my kids, maybe Isaac was the only exception because it was one on one for four years.

I had Lincoln evaluated for delays and being on the autism spectrum at two years old because I didn't understand. And there's conflicting evidence that says in a bilingual home, there may be delays because they're learning two languages. We're on the opposite side of it. They're saying, no, they'll learn to speak both. All the way up until I had Rio. Rio's two years old and he'll say full sentences. But all my lucks, I think, I remember Chris's grandma making a comment like, why doesn't he talk yet? Same for Creed. Rio, I was concerned like, oh my gosh, like what is going on? The twins now they say some words, but they're not. I mean, again, like the and boy girl

difference that's not really making a difference. The twins are the same, obviously the same age. They may be say five words total and they're 16 months old. Yeah. I mean, I just think that you, it's really hard to not play the comparison game like comparing and we do it as adults, right? Like we compare ourselves to each other. It's just like natural instinct. I feel like to do that It would be incredibly hard to not compare Certain children with other children who have come before them and I think it's incredibly hard to when you see other probably 16-month-olds that

aren't a twin Have um, have not struggled with any type of delays and you're like, why are mine not there? 100%. Um, I want to get to this one. This person says vasectomy or no, and vasectomies are like one of my most favorite things to talk about. I have big opinion about it. So first this person says, good morning, kitties. I'm a big opinion about it. So first, this person says,

Good morning, kiddies. I'm a 28 year old mom of two. My girls are three and eight months old. I'm about 90% sure we are done having babies and I want my husband to go and get a vasectomy. He's 100% on board with it whenever I'm ready. I'm just scared that I'll want another in a few years. Do you ever just feel done for good? Pregnancy and delivery isn't easy on me. I ended up with high blood pressure and had to have c-section. What are your deciding factors on being done having children? I want to make sure that I'm thinking about all the options before officially

deciding anything. So I think I remember telling you my thoughts on will getting a vasectomy was that at the point that I felt like the marriage was rocky and we were still in our early 30s, I felt like that would have been a horrible thing for me to advise him to do or try to convince him to do because he shouldn't be cut off from having another child with somebody else if he so chooses later in life, right? I also think that people really don't know if they're done until a situation like that happens where you go and get a vasectomy or you have your tubes tied.

And then I hear stories all the time about people having instant regret and then medically feeling like they just can't and so they feel at a loss. I think in my situation, if you ever find yourself in a place where you're in love with someone, I think it's a natural instinct to want to procreate with that person. And so I think that's kind of where I'm currently at. I don't feel like my body is done being pregnant.

Okay. Which leads me down the next rabbit hole of is my body not done being pregnant, but could I carry a baby for somebody else and it not be mine? Could you? I could. But you want to carry for me? Yeah, I think that would be great. I mean, I'm not going to give it back, but.

I just got an email from Avi as well. I wouldn't. I don't know if I could give it back. No, in seriousness, like I could carry for someone who could not carry. I absolutely loved everything about being pregnant. It was a joy for me. I didn't really have a ton of issues. I was high risk because I was so small.

But outside of that, I had a super healthy pregnancy. I feel like I would have to carry for someone that I would still be able to have access to that child's life to some extent, because I don't know how you just walk away at that point. Right, right, right, right, right, right. I don't know, I don't have the answer. I feel like you're gonna figure out

why to have another baby. No, I think it was the circumstances and being on the vacation alone. I don't think that it was. I have played therapist today. Yeah. I do feel like that's probably what it was. Probably a missing of your children to some degree. Probably looking at those three kids and being like they're so

**** cute who wouldn't want to have like five more but maybe it is a mental illness because look at how many like chickens and ducks and **** that you get. Like you just like can't get enough. It's definitely a mental illness. I don't know what mental illness. I don't know what one it is either. Okay, the sun is out, the sunnies are coming on. I need to know if you love your shades,

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Snag your shades and get ready for the summer sun. I also don't feel like you're just like collecting kids to collect them. Like I don't think that's what it is either. I feel like your kids bring you so much comfort and joy. Oh my god. Like I, I think about when, like when my kids are older, and I don't have all this like chaos and sports and everything else, like what we're like, that's why you keep having them so that like somebody's there.

Yikes. That's not good either, though. You know what I mean? Like, my, my dad had me at, I think he was 20, maybe 22 or 23 years old. I'm 17 years gap between me and my youngest brother, like he officially raised kids his whole adult life. Chase? No Grayson 17 years younger than me. Oh, your dad raised his raised kids. Oh, I'm tracking. Yeah. Interesting. I mean, that's like me.

That's like you. You literally raised kids your whole adult life. My entire adult life. And Javi and I were just talking about on a podcast like where we're at in life. Javi and I were just talking about on a podcast where we're at in life. He was saying that he's only known Delaware. I was like, no, we moved here from Pennsylvania. He literally said, no, but my entire adult life has been in Delaware. In terms of being an adult and being able to buy a house and buy a car and do things is your entire adult life. I have been in Delaware my entire adult life and I've been a parent for my entire adult life. You know, people that are not starting families until they're in their 30s or 40s can say that they lived all of those years and until their children are in their own 30s. Yes,

it evens out where like most of my entire life will be have being will have been being a parent. I feel like, you know, people ask me all the time, do you regret having a child so young? I was 23. When I had Jackson, and I said no, because if I choose not to have any more, then my ass is going to be on vacation. I might be in Italy, I might be in Turks, I might be in Turks, I might be wherever while you're still doing car rider.

Well, I will be because my Isaac will be graduating high school and the twins will be going into kindergarten. Yeah, see that's giving psychosis. Like that's giving. And to think about the fact that like the plan for me and I'm sure I've said it before is like I want to go to law school when the twins go to kindergarten. So to think about like starting over at that point, you know, in five years, I'll be almost 40 years old and going back to school. Well, I was reading and Mel Robbins book, I think she was like 40 before she got it

all together. This is true. You know, so if Mel can do it, you can do it too. And I think she said she was like $500,000 in debt when she $800 in debt. Yeah. Or $800,000. Yeah. Oh yeah. Trust me. I read it. Okay. We have foul play. All right. Hey girlies love, love, love this podcast and very long time listener. When I was pregnant with my first baby around the same time as kale was pregnant with the twins. I just said that a lot of people are starting their pregnancies

around thirties and forties and I was what 31. I was going to say like your age right now is when I feel like the norm today is starting to have kids. Yep. I was going to say, your age right now is when I feel like the norm today is starting to have kids. Yup. I was surprised by the doctor at my regularly scheduled OB appointment when they mentioned they do a butt swab to confirm that you don't have strep or something. Oh my God. I didn't get this.

A butt swab? Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I did? Mm-hmm. You did. Unless you go early- Full test for strep. Because it's basically a form of strep throat but in your asshole. And so unless you give

birth early, which I think you did, you might not have. If you went into, if you had a preemie, you might not have had it, which happened to me. But yes, typically if you go full term 37 weeks or more, you have already had the butt swab. I promise you if I had a butt swab, I would know that like ass stuff had happened and I know for a fact that it did not, but I didn't use, I wanted to labor at 34. Okay. So then you definitely didn't have it. Okay. So she strip or something. Well, I had at the time some changes to my digestive system and as a side effect of pregnancy, and the doctor left the room and told me to collect the swab myself, leaving very clear

instructions that the swab in no way needed to enter inside my body. So I take the swab to do the collection and take a look while closing the swab in the collection tube to notice that the swab is now brown. I panicked. Like, do I throw this thing away? I can pretend like I never did it. Do I just run away from it all? I started to look to see if I could find another swab in the cabinets and I was full on neurotic and flailing around trying to come up with a solution to this horrific nightmare. I was mortified. But I put that swab in the collection tube. I left it in

the room as instructed and never walked out so fast of an appointment in my life. I'm not a nasty lady y'all. This was a shock to me if I thought there was a chance of this thing to come back brown, I would have taken care of it before I swabbed it. Luckily, I live my life very transparent and told my husband and sisters about this and we still die laughing about it. When it's brought up pregnancy really is a humbling time. Signed a blue eyed girl that had had a run in with a brown eye.

Okay, number one, I need to know how many people go into doctors offices and if you're ever like left in a room alone, do you like snoop around because I do? Um, no, I get so scared that they're going to walk in on me doing it that even if I have to find if I have to find the trash can under the sink for whatever reason, you know how they have like the little pedestal thing. I just get nervous or like, if I want to give like the kids one of those like wooden popsicle sticks, like I just don't touch anything because I'm scared they're going to walk in on it. Okay, they have to knock first of all, so you have enough time to move around like it's so interesting to go on those doors. Like I will be

in there with like the knee cap thumper, like something my knees like trying to test my reflexes. I don't know like what's wrong with me. Band aids they have like, it's very alarming. On. Well, I wish that I had the balls to do that. I also never knew that like there was a type of strep that like your butthole carried. Yeah. And like, why have died from it about it?

Because you have to go if you do have it, you have to go on antibiotics and your baby has to go like so while you're in labor, they hook you up to an IV that has antibiotics in it so that your baby doesn't get it because your baby can die from it. Like it's very serious. So it's not like strep throat. No, it is but like it's in your butt. It's like a type of strep. It's not strep throat in your butt, but it's a type of strep.

Okay, that makes sense. Bless this girl. I'm just confused. Like maybe she like diarrhea a little on it. Like when she rubbed the butt, you know? Well, she like diarrhea a little on it. Like when she rubbed the butt, you know, well, because if you're just rubbing like the whole like, way she's describing it, like I'm just like, frisking my butt. Out of all will say, I can't say seven of my pregnancies, six of

my pregnancies that, you know, I have like living children. I only got to swab my own asshole one time. And then a couple of my babies didn't make it to that turn. Like the twins, I never got swabbed because I went into labor at 35 weeks. Lux came out so fucking fast, 90 minutes flat from start to finish that they never even hooked an IV up to me at all. And they were like, we have to hook her up. They were arguing, we have to hook her up. Well, we don't have time to hook her up. And they were like, we don't know if she tested positive for strep B. And I'm like, I didn't. I think that one, thankfully, either I did or I didn't, but I had let them know the doctor didn't get there on time,

et cetera, et cetera. And so it's really important to get this strep test done. If they have concerns about you going early, they might do it early. But definitely go get it done. It sucks, but just do it. But like when they did yours just out of curiosity, I'm about to like start looking this up on the internet when we get done here. Did they just like frisk your butthole with a stick or like they put it in just like a little bit, you know, I always remember them swabbing the outside of the hole. Like it

was like, like that, because it's like a tunnel. So it's like in the tunnel, you know. I cannot on that note, whatever. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app following right on Spotify or listen wherever you get your podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll

talk to you soon. See ya. Are you looking for your next case? Pluto TV has all your favorite crime drama streaming for watching.