Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - ENCORE Something Is In The Water

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

CC390: For the LAST episode of 2024 let us revisit the FIRST episode of 2024... Lindsie recaps her hectic last days of 2023 and Kail shares her word of the year. Kail shares the unexpected message she received from her mom, and how in the same day she got in touch with her sister. Lindsie has some thoughts about Cher asking for conservatorship over her son and talks about the time her brother Kyle was under Todd's legal guardianship as an adult. A listener asks for advice on their 18 year-old daughter wanting to move out under objectionable circumstances, and for Foul Play someone gets a vasectomy scare. Thank you to our sponsor! Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month. IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help Kiwico: Get 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code COFFEE Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more! Rocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you. This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kailin Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to Coffee Convo's podcast, Kail. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Listen, I know there's a lot of people that are listening to this that probably go into the year with lots of

resolutions and I feel like I used to be a resolutions girly. Like I would come up with all of these things that I was going to do to change until I realized I was doing none of those things over and over again. So I just stopped making them. I started creating words for the year and I'm hoping that those words that I chose apply to every aspect of my life. I resonate a lot with that. I feel like I also was a resolution girly and then I wasn't doing them. And now it's just like, okay, it's the beginning of a new year. So I'm going to do, I'm going to try to do things a little differently, but I'm still

going to try to budget. That's going to be my word of the year. But like, I started reading lately, you know, towards the end of 2023, I started reading more. And I'm just going to take that into the new year, but I'm not necessarily having a resolution. You know what I mean? Yeah, the only resolution that I made and other people will maybe relate to this as well.

I ordered myself a bunch of what a lot of people use Stanley cups. I don't like the straw feature. So I like the one that has the one where you can like collapse it down. Like a spout sort of thing. Yeah, like a spout, because that's like better for me for spillage purposes. I'm gonna try to drink more water

and I'm not gonna be a thirsty bitch. Also was not a, I was not a straw girly, but since I've been doing Stanley for like the last year and a half, I don't mind the straw feature, but I do like the spout feature as well. Have you seen like all the TikToks of people finding things like in their straws

and like drinking stuff up? I had a spider in my straw in Thailand. And did you drink it? No, I mean, after I got the spider out my straw in Thailand. And did you drink it? No. I mean, after I got the spider out, I did. You kept drinking it? Yeah. You weren't freaked out?

Okay, no. Like that doesn't work for me. So yeah, I'm just going to be a water girly this year. I have a lot of things to update you on. I shared Jackson for the first Christmas ever, so that was hard, but also easy in a lot of ways. Made me feel like good that I was being a good share, not something that I do very well. I know that about myself, so made me feel good. My whole house is back to normal, minus, and actually this is kind of normal,

I woke up this morning and I had a million little tiny black ants crawling from my dishwasher. Why do you always have an ant problem? I have, I do not know. I don't know if you saw on Instagram, but I am looking to move. A lot of people are confused. A lot of people are confused by that.

They're like, didn't you just build your house? Well, I actually didn't build this house. This house was already in the process of being built. Yeah, it was just new construction. There's been so many issues that I've had that I'm like, you know what, maybe it's just like bad energy and I need to rid myself of this place. There's been like a lot of hard moments in this house. And I don't know if you felt like this,

but did it feel like a cleansing when you moved? Yeah, I felt like I built this house for me, for my kids, for my family. And it was just, it felt fresh. It felt new. It felt like there was no bad, like no bad energy, no bad juju, like it was just it felt fresh. It felt new. It felt like there was no bad like, no bad energy, no bad juju. Like it was just fresh, fresh. So that's what I'm kind of looking for forward to. Also, I

just feel like I'm not putting up with my own bullshit this year. And I'm not putting up with anybody else's bullshit. So that's something else that I'm doing. I also did a staycation and went to the Intercontinental in Buckhead and immediately realized that we had been there before you and I had. Was this? No, that was the Westin. Which, which time? Do you remember? Yeah, it was our last podcast trip with another company before

we moved over and we stayed like in those nice suites. Okay. Well, I want to go back. Do you remember this? Yeah, I vaguely remember it. I really don't, but I vaguely remember this. But if it was nice, then why don't we go back?

It was so nice. And I don't know if you ever do a staycation. Highly recommend. If you live outside of city limits and you have a great city that you live near, I feel like it's the best thing to do. It was one of my favorite trips of 2023, my last trip of 2023. And it was just like so nice. It was kind of, I reminisced a little bit because I was like in the same area that I lived in college and it was like across the street from my parents offices and

it was just like kind of nice to be down there and Be back in a space that used to be my space. Yeah, like it was just like familiar, you know, yeah Yeah, so I really enjoyed it. The closest, we did a staycation, I want to say it was last year, Elijah and I went to Philly because Philly is about an hour from me, depending on where in Philly. We went and we stayed for the weekend, I think it was like a Friday to a Sunday, so two nights and we got like a couples massage and stuff like that. And so that was like the closest thing I can think of to a staycation. It's funny that you mentioned a staycation or vacation at all because I

literally said to Elijah the other day I was like, do you think that we'll ever go on a we'll ever be able to go on a week long vacation without children like ever? And he just kind of looked at me and I was like, maybe when all the kids turn 18. So you've got a long time. We have a long way to go. Yeah, no, we were supposed to do a couples massage

and then sickness hit. I don't know if y'all have been sick in your house, but I feel like we can't shake sickness. So. Same. Never really had this before. I actually took a thousand milligrams of Tylenol to do this recording.

Why? Are you having a headache? My head, my neck, my throat, just everything from the shoulders up is just in so much pain. Three of my kids had pink eye and then Creed came home to me on Christmas with a high fever that was just on and off for three to four days. And then it's just been kind of sickness running mad through the house. So we're also- So what do people do that have lots of kids and one of them sick and you know they're bringing it home and you're all going to have it? How do you cope? Because I would not deal well.

So it is sticky. And one of the things is I wish that I would have known that Creed was sick because that was on Christmas day and I already had offered Chris the week. I just felt like if he would have told me, I would have said, just keep him over there because Rio actually had, he just got tubes in his ears. So he just got like the little, I don't want to say like mini surgery, but like the little procedure. And so he had pink eye, he was recovering from that.

And then I didn't want him to get whatever Creed had on top of just having the tubes in his ears. You know what I mean? So it really is sticky with like bringing kids home because it's not like I'm giving up my time. It's that I literally don't want to bring the sickness home to other kids if I can't avoid it. Yeah.

And I mean, I think it does make it easier for people who are co-parenting because it's just like, keep the sickness over there because we have another place for our kids to go. Like Will and Jackson have been sick before and I'm like just keep them because I'm not trying to get it or vice versa. Like Jackson's been in this house, we've both been down with something and Will's like, I don't want to get it. But yeah, we have had sickness running through this house. I woke up the day after Christmas and had an allergic reaction. Actually I had two allergic reactions. I don't know what's going on.

I've talked about this before that I felt like I was allergic to like MSG. I really need to take the time to go to an allergist this year at some point and get tested just to see exactly what it is that I'm allergic to. I woke up and my lips were, I mean, they were, it looked like that little character off of SpongeBob SquarePants with like those big lips. I was thinking of like Marge Simpson.

Yeah, yeah, very much so. My lips were, they almost looked like they were floating off of my face. Oh, good. My throat was, it felt like it was closing. The only other time I've ever had a reaction like that with my lips and my throat was a reaction to a cat. Like I'm very, very allergic to cats.

And I'm just wondering if maybe somebody had like cat dander on their clothes that I was near or something like that. Had this allergic reaction. Didn't know if I should go to urgent care. I was kind of freaking out. I'm pretty sure Kristin, it was either Kristin or my mom texted me and was like, you need an EpiPen like immediately. Never really had that happen in my adult life since I was 18 years old. And if you have never had an allergic reaction, it is the scariest thing ever because you don't know what to do.

Yeah. The only allergic reaction situation that I've come close to that is with Lincoln. But as the adult, if you have an allergic reaction and you panic or you don't know what to do, you can't help anyone else because you can't even help yourself. So that's actually terrifying. Terrifying. I need to know what's the deal with all of these books that I see you posting about? Is this going to be a new venture that you're taking on and you're actually hosting a book club? I don't know if you remember me telling you about

my girlfriend, Caroline, and I were going to host a book club on the Southern T and then we didn't fucking read the book. club on the Southern T and then we didn't fucking read the book. So I've read nine or 10 books between the end of 2023 and now I read an entire book in two sittings just the other day. I would have read it in one sitting. I read, so this is the one I finished yesterday called Never Lie by Freida McFadden. This was my favorite book that I've read so far out of the 10 or 11. And then I'm starting The Surgeon today. I convinced Taylor, my hairstylist, to start a book club.

So she's gonna host a book club at her hair salon once a month. And then I also joined my sister's book club. She invited me to do her book club when she saw all my posts. And when I tell you that like, and I said this silently in my head, I didn't say it out loud to anyone. It was just like, I'm so tired of scrolling on my phone.

And so that's when I was like, okay, I'm gonna pick up a book because, you know, when Rhea was napping or, you you know the kids were at their dad's I was tired of scrolling so it's like let me read and then it would come to a time where I'd be like Oh my god, what time is it? Like I don't even know like what like it Rio takes like a two or three hour nap Like what the frick time is it so I would look at it, you know two hours had passed I'm like this is why I need to not scroll my phone because the over consumption of stuff that I see online

and the waves of emotions that I'm feeling, you know, just scrolling on say like TikTok or Instagram where it's like really funny videos and then really sad videos and then depressing videos. And then it's just too much. And then I'd rather get that from like reading. And also I do think that I I'm very very very afraid of getting early-onset dementia because of

mine. I know you've said that forever. So I'm like okay maybe if I keep my mind a little sharper although I will say my grandmother was a very avid reader like I never didn't see her with a book in her hand and she always listened to classical music and she still got it so So maybe I can like buck the system, but I'm really excited to start this one. This one's for book club. This one's not. This one was just a recommendation.

Absolutely insane. This one will have you on the edge of your fucking seat. You won't know what to do. And then when you get to the end, you're gonna be like, what the fuck? Kill, I can't, I'm like really trying to take this conversation seriously in this moment. I thought at this point that I was going to host this book club.

I was going to be the next Reese Witherspoon. Like I was hosting this book club. I was going to be a good book recommender. I was going to do all of these things. I get so bored. Then you're not reading the right books. What type of book were you reading? What was the book you were supposed to read?

Romance novels. Romance. Okay. See, I'm very hit or miss with romance novels. I have Archer's Voice. I was supposed to start it. I didn't. I started reading the Freedom McFadden. These are suspense and thriller. That's my...

I'm probably not going to be able to get into a book unless it's suspense or thriller. That's my like, I'm probably not going to be able to get into a book unless it's suspense or thriller. So if you're into like mystery, murder type deals, the housemaid secret, Neverland, the freedom McFadden books you would love. And I feel like if you just tried one, you might have a completely different perspective. Coffee Cumma's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Let's face it, sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming, like when your favorite podcast is playing, the person next to you is talking, or your car fan is blasting, all while you're trying to find the perfect parking spot.

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You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions today and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos today. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos, rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. The next thing I want to say is I feel you on all the emotions on the internet. Just in general, not just social media, just the internet. That's why I specifically got off of Facebook in 2012. Remember me telling you that? That I would like scroll and I would see like Children's Healthcare of Atlanta kids with cancer and somebody was shot and killed dead in downtown Atlanta, like on the local news

thing. Somebody's mother died on their Facebook. And I'm like, I can't do this. This gives me so much anxiety. And I am a firm believer that that was part of what started my postpartum anxiety was the social media scrolling and seeing all of this stuff because then it instilled all of this fear in me. And I had this newborn baby. And I would scroll and look at the stuff whenever he was taking a nap. And then I would fear that like what I was seeing on Facebook, on the newsfeed, I would fear that that automatically was gonna happen to my child. And so I wish I had become an avid reader during that time.

Never did, never have, have always hated reading. I would try to cheat the system with accelerated reader, like don't fuck with me. Do you remember those tests? There were like 10 questions. I failed them. Not that I was a horrible reader. I just hated to read growing up. I think once I found Book Talk on TikTok, so that's like one good thing about TikTok. There's a lot of good things about TikTok, but I found Book Talk. And once I saw that like certain books, people were like, like just raving about,

I was like, okay, there has to be a reason why they're raving about them. Let me just like give it a whirl. Um, so you are influenced by Book Talk. Yes. And so there are, there are caveats to our, our, um, feelings on social media and with the internet in general, but book talk was a good one. And I actually I'm on Goodreads, which Goodreads is an app that's like it's sort of like social media for book for readers.

I can't even take it seriously. Now let me tell you about accelerator reader, like, I would get enough information and like skim through these books, I would get enough information and like skim through these books, I would get enough information because you started to learn like what was going to be on the test. And so that's how I learned to pass them. I wasn't reading it. So you are you were doing what I basically the I created my own Cliff Notes for myself.

No, Isaac does that and I literally, because we were up so late the one night doing his reading assignment because he doesn't wanna read the stuff. It'll be say 15 pages. He doesn't wanna read it and get, I told him, I'm like, read the questions first and then go back and read because you'll be like,

oh, that was one of the questions or, and I know that's not the case, it can't be the case all the time. But I was like, if you have the ability, read the questions first and then go back and read it. He wants to skim through and then read the questions and then try to go back and find them. And I'm like, you are literally taking too much time

to do this when you could have been start, finish and done, finished and done. You could have been done in 30 minutes if you would have just read it and then read and then did the questions. Oh, no, that was me. Like I have been a reading bamboozler for my entire life. Like I can't remember a time that I wasn't. The only books that I liked growing up were Junie B. Jones and Judy Blume. I never heard of Judy Blume. I definitely did the Judy B. Jones one.

I think the only, I only actually read one Judy B. Jones book for a book report, but the rest of them I also bamboozled my way through everything. So we've just been bamboozlers for our whole fucking lives. Essentially. Take it till you make it. I need to ask you a question on the air. So I was taking a shower the other day and I got a text from you that made me drop my phone.

And- You got a text from me? Yeah. It was from you. And I mean, I say a couple of days ago, it could have been a couple of weeks ago, like this point I really don't know. But it feels like it was a couple of days ago. What was it? It was regarding Suzy.

I forgot that I texted you that. So I really don't get on Facebook. That's like my least used social media. But I did find her on Facebook, which I had said on the podcast like weeks and weeks ago. I get on Messenger and my mom messaged me and I would pull it up right now, but I'm actually recording on my phone. I forget what she said. I think I love you and I always will or something like that.

And then I messaged her back. It took me a minute, but I messaged her back and I said, well, how can you walk this earth knowing that you have all these grandkids and you don't care. Her response to that really pissed me off because she goes back and forth with accountability. Like I said on this podcast forever ago, my mom signed off on everything I said about her in Pride Over Pity. She didn't deny it, she didn't dispute it, she didn't try to negotiate it, nothing. To me, I almost took that as not an apology, but at least an acknowledgement.

You know what you did and you may not be sorry, maybe that was your best, I don't know. But you acknowledged it, cool. When I got the message back to the grandkids' statement, I just wasn't prepared for that. She was like, and your life, question mark, walk a mile. And I was like, ma'am, you made my life hard. You very much fucked me up. You chose whatever your life, because I mean, to this day, from all accounts that I have gotten about my mom's life, my mom did not live a very difficult life. My mom chose a difficult, she went down a path

that ultimately ended, I don't wanna say ended, the ended is not a good word, that ultimately contributed to the life that she's living now. And like, I don't think that she looks at her life now as hard, I think that she's accepted it and this is a life that she's chosen. But for a while there, she chose what she was doing. You know what I mean? Like by all accounts

of my uncles, my aunts, you know, my other family members, my mom had a very comfortable life. So I don't understand how you could say, walk a mile when you chose that. Like when I went to visit my aunt, um, in Honesdale last year, last summer, when I was pregnant with Rio, she told me they were doing meth in the bar bathroom. She told me that they were doing drugs off the toilet in the Pines bar. So you chose that. So when she said walk a mile, I was just like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Ultimately, she ended up blocking me. I don't know what I did, but she blocked me. She blocked me. She blocked me on Facebook.

So that was the first conversation since we've had since, I guess she called me in 2019. And then right before that, she had called me when you and I were in California for a content trip. She called me because my grandmother passed away. So I've had three conversations with her in six years and I haven't seen her. So like, I don't know. Walk a mile was the last thing she said to me. I just think that it's a two things.

Number one, I think that she maybe shouldn't have reached out to you if she wasn't prepared for whatever the response could be. I think a lot of times we find ourselves in situations where it's like we wanted, and I found myself in a situation with my parents before trying to heal stuff from the past and you're looking for acknowledgement for what somebody has done to you or what you've done to somebody. And sometimes I think people come and present conversations that they're not ready for what the response is going to be.

And it seems very much like your mom wanted to reach out, but she wasn't truly prepared for everything that you could possibly say. And maybe she was in her mind thinking, oh, I'm gonna say this and it's going to be returned in the same way, but how do you really expect that? You can't have expectations on other people and how they're gonna respond just because you say something or you feel a certain type of way.

My mom has a history of, you know how when you're drunk or I don't know about drugs, I don't know if they do the same thing, but like drunk words or sober thoughts kind of thing. My mom's always had a very guilty conscience when she's under the influence. Specifically when she's drunk, she would buy me a lot of things. She would drive me drunk to the store and buy me things. Or she would say, I love you so much.

My first thought was drunk words are sober thoughts, so maybe she's fucked up. The other thing that I was thinking was that my mom is probably in a place, if I had to guess, is probably in a place in her life where she has fully accepted her life. She likes her life. I know she bought a house with her inheritance from my grandfather. I'm wondering if she's happy where she's at. And so she was like, she feels like I should just accept it for what it is as well. You know what I mean?

Whether she's fucked up or not, she's happy in her life and she just wants to sweep everything under the rug and be like, okay, I love you and expect me to say it back kind of to your point. And I think for me, I've found myself in situations where I used to kind of cower down to certain people in my life that I feel like have trespassed against me and just try to keep the peace and respond in a way how I felt, but not necessarily saying how I felt. So it's like, we need to stop saying things are okay if it's not okay.

And like, I was guilty of that being like, it's okay, I forgive you, but I'm still carrying all these wounds. And it's like, did I really forgive you? And is it really okay? Like, no, I didn't forgive you. And it's not okay. And so we should stop saying those things if that is not how we feel. And I think a lot of times, people feel like because they issue an apology, whatever that looks like to them, like I love you might be an apology in her mind, instead of saying I'm sorry. But we don't have to

accept that apology. And we don't have to meet that person wherever they are just because that's where they are. And it's okay to be honest about it and to respond in the way that you responded. The only way that healing ever happens is if two people come to the table, honest. I think my mom, she doesn't deny things, but I just, I may never get an apology from her, but I think this, I've accepted the relationship for what it is. And at first I thought about it for a couple of days, but then what's crazy is that my sister actually also reached out the same day that my mom reached out. And I didn't tell you that part. Because I don't know if you remember, but my sister and I had't tell you that part. So, cause I don't know if you remember,

my sister and I had a falling out probably back in. I remember that. Yeah. I want to say what year are we in 2024? So we had a falling out. I feel like it was like two years ago or something. Yeah. Maybe I was pregnant with, I was around the time I was pregnant with Creed. Um, and, and I don't know if I ever said why,

but so she was supposed to come visit. We were filming Team Mom. And at the time, I felt like it was very, like I was always trying to either go there and see her, bring her here, whatever. And it felt like pulling teeth a little bit. I will say that she had just lost her mom. So obviously there's a lot of pain there

that I can't understand. And I did go to the funeral, but it was, it's not something I can understand. She had gotten bit by a dog and said that she couldn't come because she got bit by the dog. I smirked while we were filming and I was telling Mark about it. Remember my friend Mark? We were filming it.

They wanted to set it up on camera so that it made sense for why I did a whole scene about her coming and then why she wasn't coming. I had to explain it on camera. The reason why I smirked was not because of her dog bite. It wasn't laughing or smirking at the fact that she got bit by a dog because that's not okay. I was laughing like smirking because Mark was downstairs because it all happened this way. And the way that it played out, I didn't have a person to have a conversation with about why she wasn't coming. So they sent Mark to the basement

and we did a phone call from upstairs and downstairs. And then it was just like, I'm talking on the phone to someone who's downstairs. So like when she saw it on TV, she was really upset and then all these other things came up. But so she reached out and she, you know, she's like, I want to apologize for my part. I said, you don't have to apologize.

This is something we can put behind us. This is something that I also wasn't putting in effort in other ways that she would have wanted me to. She wasn't putting in effort in ways that I wanted her to or I felt like she should. She was like, I want to take responsibility for my part. And so we both kind of let, we said what we had to say and we moved on and, you know, she invited me to her book club.

I mean, we're mainly talking about books at this point, but it's still nice she sent me a Christmas card. And so that's nice. You know, do I think that we're ever going to be siblings? Like you think of, you know, how siblings should be? I don't know, but it was just like everybody in my family wanted to reach out at the same time. And I was like, this is very weird.

Something is in the universe, in the water, something. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And I wanted to talk about this because it is the end of the year. I have new goals for 2025, but I'm really struggling at the end of 2024, a little bit of progress, and then I take a step back. And so, I know that progress is not always linear, but it is hard. And so, with therapy through BetterHelp, I'm able to sort of prepare

myself in the right way with the right tools from therapy to brace myself for those setbacks because they do happen. This holiday season can be really hard for someone who maybe lost a loved one or you're going through a really hard time with your family or just anything like that and we want to be prepared going into a new season you know with the right tools to get us through those difficult times and better help is a great option for that. So if you guys are thinking about giving therapy a try I highly suggest trying BetterHelp. It's entirely online, it's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to fit

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to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash coffee. I wanna tell you something that I'm going through and I'm not really ready to say like who it's with, but I have, I thought I was going to have a better ending to 2023 than what I have had. I really thought, okay, I'm going to take this time off. I'm not going to be recording. I'm just going to be focused on Jackson and be focused on my relationship focus on my friendships like that's it and It's not really how it played out and I'm a little Upset by it. Have you ever been in a situation in life where you have set these expectations?

whether it be like a trip or time off and it's like I have all these high hopes for this and then you get to that place and you're like, this isn't really like what I was expecting. And had I known that this is what it was going to be, I either wouldn't have come or I wouldn't have taken the time off or I wouldn't have like that. So that's what I've been kind of going through. And I couldn't wait just for 2023 to, as everybody's posting on Instagram, come to a close, that song. The 2023 year has come to a close. Thank fucking God. Like, thank you that it has. But there was a situation that I got in that my therapy journey was attacked, and also my boundary setting was attacked. I was told that I have too many boundaries in life and that maybe I should just live

like a real person and stop doing therapy because it's bad for me. So, that saying that people go to therapy to get relief from people who won't go to therapy. I'm not trying to laugh at your pain, but that literally sounds like the epitome of that statement because that's, I mean, boundaries. The only people that really are bothered by people with boundaries are the people who benefit the most from your lack of boundaries. So if you're not going to allow people to push you over and like you just had a minute

ago, say things are okay when they're not okay, that's not a you problem. That's a them problem. Well, I think something that I learned through therapy, and I didn't even know what boundaries really were, and that's kind of embarrassing to say at 34. At the time when I started therapy, I was around like 30, 31 years old. And I remember distinctly my therapist asking me like, what boundaries do you have in your life? And I couldn't answer the question.

And I was like, I don't know of any. Like I just am whoever everyone needs me to be. So like, if Kale needed me to be this person, then I'm gonna be this person for her. And if Will needed me to be this person, I'm that person for him. And I'm like everything for everybody else and nothing for me.

And so my therapist said, okay, that's something that we're gonna work on. Like you have to set boundaries in all avenues of your life. So whether that be boundary setting with your kids, with your relationships, whatever that looks like, whether it's a romantic relationship, friendships, parents, you need to have boundaries. And so it absolutely devastated me when someone because that is something I've just worked so hard on. When someone was so brazen to say to me, you need to have less boundaries and maybe you shouldn't live life with boundaries. Okay, well then if I'm living life with no

boundaries then that essentially what you're saying is you want me to live a life that's basically a free for all. Like that's not, that's not the way that I want to live and how are you going to attack somebody's therapy journey when you have never been in it and you're not an active participant? I am not shaming by any means any person on here who has never engaged in therapy, has no interest in therapy. That's you and your business, like not my business. But don't then insult me because I am trying to actively work on myself every single week

with a professional. That's not really fair. And it's always the people that have no boundaries whatsoever that are bothered by people who have boundaries. If I say in a conversation, hey, you know what? I don't really like that. And that is crossing one of my boundaries. What you're doing is crossing a boundary and I don't feel comfortable with that. Can we please just like not engage in that way? Or I just don't want to be involved in that situation. Why is that a problem?

Because those people benefit. This is like, it kind of, it's sort of the same. When we started podcasting, remember we used to just like, hey, when do you want to record this week? Hey, when do you want to record? Oh, this doesn't work for me, that doesn't work for you. And at some point you were like, this does not work for me. I cannot do this like chaotic situation. Like we need to pick a day that works for both of us.

To me, that's a boundary. At first I was like, why does it have to be this way? But then I was like, I mean, it makes sense for everybody. And so you just have to be open-minded. And I understand that there are people who don't want to go to therapy. And I get that because I wasn't always open to it, right? But you have to still be open-minded at least. You can't attack someone's therapy journey just because you don't go.

Like be open-minded. You don't know how that's helping somebody. You don't know how hard it's been because it's hard to go to therapy. It's hard to make acknowledgments. It's hard to set boundaries, like you said. I hate that that happened for you. I know that people, but the public, have attacked my therapy journey. Oh, well, therapy must not be working.

Well, no. Just because I take one step backwards, you don't ignore the three steps forward that I took. And the same goes for you. And without your boundaries, you're spineless. I think that people mistake that therapy, they think if you say you're in therapy, that that means that you're just automatically healed. And it's like this linear journey.

It's kind of like the phases of grief. You can go through therapy and take two steps forward and three steps back. And then the next week you might take three steps forward and only one step back, or you might not take any steps back. But it's not like a fix all. If that was the case, then therapist would just see somebody one time and then move on and you're all healed. Like that's not how therapy works.

And I just felt so offended like of anything that I've ever been attacked on in my life, which has been a lot of things. Um, but attack on therapy and boundaries has been like one of the hardest things for me to stomach at all. No, I completely agree with that. Whoever you're describing, whoever you're talking about sounds a lot like one of my exes who very much did that to me. I would get forms of communication from him attacking, like, oh, therapy must not be working. He specifically would always say that to me. And it's just like, it's not a... Just like

any other healing process, a scab, fucking stitches, staples, recovery anywhere takes fucking time. It doesn't, you know what I mean? Like that's just not, you don't go like you said one time and then you heal. That's not, no therapist will have a job at this point. And sometimes, and I don't know how your therapy works, but sometimes like I might be discussing what's actively affecting me right there at that time. And then sometimes if I'm having a great week, it's like, okay, we can take a little bit of time to dive deeper into these other things that have caused me long-term issues that I need to really put some work in on. But I don't have enough hours in a week to be like, okay, I can just work on all the

shit that's wrong with me and I'm going to be completely better and. Like that is not the way that it works. And I also love the people who have not started a therapy journey because they know that they're not ready to put in the work and therapy and they're not wasting their time because I've had a lot of girlfriends who have gone through like cheating situations, whether it be in a marriage relationship,

like they're trying to heal from these things. And the first thing that I feel like a lot of people jump to if they have the finances, typically it's the person that's done wrong. They will say, oh, well, I'll go to therapy with you or I'll do, you know, whatever it is that will make you happy. They get into this situation of therapy and they're just going to pacify the other person and they're not willing to put in the work or use the skills that they're actually learning. It's just like a mask and a facade.

So I love the people who say, I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to work on myself in that way. And so I'm not going to engage in that way. But I also love the people who have reached a level of self-awareness where they're like, okay, I actually need this. And for my own personal growth, I need to do this. And I'm going to apply all of these things to my life. I'm the first person to admit that the first several times that I tried therapy just over the years, not this last five years, but prior to that, I wasn't connecting the dots. You go to therapy and

you talk, but I wasn't connecting the work that needed to be done outside of therapy or the self-reflection or the self-awareness that needed to take place during those times. It was never going to work because I didn't understand that it was a process. I wasn't, I just didn't understand that it was like a process. I didn't understand that there was work involved. I thought you just go and talk to someone and then you leave. I just didn't understand it. And so there was lots of gaps between a time I would go to therapy and then after. But I mean, to your point that you started this whole topic on, I also didn't really

know what boundaries were up until the last five years and truly thank social media for that as well. I started seeing it everywhere online. It was almost like a buzzword. I was like, what the fuck is boundaries? What is that? What does that mean? Then ironically enough, I started therapy around that same time because of the incidents or whatever. I was like, oh, okay. I, when I first started seeing boundaries online too, because that's where I saw it, it was like, I don't know these videos and stuff. And I'm like, is that just like a fad? Like is boundaries a fad?

Like is this like a social media fad trying to get our attention but we don't really know like what they are and how to apply them to our life. And I feel like you have to be careful with boundaries too because I've become so good at setting them that if someone's willing to meet you in a middle, let's say like your boundary is something that might be extreme to them. And they're trying to find like a middle ground. If it's something that I can bend on and be like, okay, you know, I set this boundary for a short period of time because I needed to set like that specific boundary for just it had a time limit on it. And it's okay for me to like come off

with that. There are certain boundaries in my life that I'm like, no, like that boundary is here to fucking stay. Yeah, like if you don't like that boundary, then that's going to be a problem because it ain't going anywhere. Right. That's like when I talked about expiration dates. I always talk to Chris and I've said it on the podcast before, but specifically expiration dates. I got that from Patrick, who learned he was my old team mom producer and he was telling me about expiration dates. And then I brought it up in therapy. And yeah, some things have expiration dates and some boundaries have expiration dates. But yeah, just going back to the social media thing,

it's so weird because we were, the emotions that we feel, the roller coaster, but then also it does raise a lot of awareness because if I didn't start seeing those words, boundaries and things like that, maybe wouldn't have learned to set them as quickly as I did in therapy because I was starting to see, with going to therapy, I was seeing those types of things align with my therapy journey on social media. So it's

a blessing and a curse. It is. When you become so self-aware, I feel like that is the biggest blessing, but also the biggest curse because sometimes with a level of self-awareness, you don't know what to do with it. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, and honestly, so am I. I am sitting here drinking my peach mango IQ mix, which I am a huge, huge fan of. You can start each day right with IQ Bar's brain and body boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler Pack includes all three,

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plus get free shipping. To get your 20% off, just text convos to 64,000. Text convos to 64 off, just text CONVOES to 64,000. Text CONVOES to 64,000. That's CONVOES to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. So before we move on, I did see this on, I wanna say it was Buzzfeed.

Are you a front or back shower? When you get in the shower, do you stand in the water or do you have your back to the water? Like an immediate thing like right when I get in or is this just like the whole time? I guess just like an like I'm a rotator. Like I just rotate. I'm like a rotisserie chicken in that bitch. Same like sometimes I'm facing the water. I don't care for it to go on my face. I don't care if the water is hitting my face. Like that doesn't bother me.

So sometimes I'm like today, after this recording, I'm going to shower and I'm gonna let the water hit me as hard and as hot as possible. But also like I, sometimes I stand with like my head back and the water hitting the back of me. Okay, so when I get in the shower, I am a front shower facer. Like I, my whole confection is like in the water

and I do not care. It does not bother me for water to directly hit my face. I know that's a big bother for a lot of people. That does not bother me whatsoever. But when it comes time to like rinse my hair out, I stand to the back and like put my head back. Does that make sense? But if you... I feel like this rule doesn't apply or you can't really have an answer if you have a waterfall shower. You know, like the one that's like in the ceiling and then it

just like cascades down. Well I have both. So I have one in the ceiling and I have one on the wall, but I don't really use the one on the ceiling. Like I really don't use that one. That's weird because I have both two and I use the waterfall and I don't use the one on the wall. Okay, so now after we've had this conversation for my shower today and every other shower this week,

I'm gonna try to use the one on the ceiling. Okay, but I need to know any person that has like multiple what do they call them like jets fixtures? I don't know. What do they call shower heads? Shower? Yeah, multiple shower heads in your shower. Why are we turning them all on? That's my question. Like, I went in toward this house the other day. I kid you not there was like five shower heads in there And it's like is it because five people are taking a shower at the same time or we just like need that much water See what why I have three and I don't turn them all I just use one

But like if Creed gets in the shower with me really quick to just like, you know If we're running late or whatever, I feel like I have to explain myself for why he's in the shower with me, but he's three, so let's relax. I will turn on the one that it like slides up and down. And so he likes for me to put it down on like the lowest like it's like at his level. Yeah, I don't ever unless Elijah unless Elijah and I are showering, then I'll use the one on the ceiling and the one on the wall so that each of us have one because they're not and they don't fall there like the water doesn't fall directly at each other. But I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole. How many people that are listening to this are a couple's showering couple?

Because I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking.

I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm talking. to go down that rabbit hole. How many people that are listening to this are a couple's showering couple? Because I don't like to shower with anybody. Like that is my peace. That is my quiet. That is my cleansing time. And I don't necessarily really need you to see me shaving my legs and my pits for things that I'm trying to get rid of so you don't see it. Like I'm confused. This is actually, this conversation has gone full circle because I also feel the same way as you. However, it's not a boundary for me. So I don't love showering together, but because that's his

thing, like that's what he's always like doing since we got together. I like meet him in the middle. together, I like meet him in the middle. I think that I was traumatized in my childhood because when my parents divorced, my mom started dating a man that was like 20 years her senior. Yeah, you didn't know this. She's still married to him. You know my memory is trash. So you may have told me that and I just forgot. And I just felt like he was like so mature and stuff and like

my mom just was like a teenager and They would shower together. Wait, your mom was a teenager. I mean basically not but for the Not I need a shirt right now that says basically not but for the purposes of this story With him being 20 years older than her, she was 18 whenever she had me. I was probably like seven when she started dating him. So you know, basically a teenager.

He was a full blown businessman. So like he was grown and stuff. And they would take these showers together. And it just traumatized me for my whole life. Like they would go into the bedroom, close the door, close the bathroom door. And you just knew they were in there showering or like doing some weird shit. And I was like, when I grow up, I'm never doing that

because like I never want my child to feel uncomfortable in the way that I felt uncomfortable in that moment. So never, like I will never be a co-mingling shower. I mean, it's different when the kids know about it, like, right? I feel like that would also, maybe not, I don't think I would be traumatized. I would just like, ugh, you know, like,

ew, you know, when I'm a kid. Now I- And I just wanted to know what they were doing in there. Like, I think it was just like the curiosity. Do you really wanna know? I don't think I wanted to know, but like, I wanted to know what they were doing in there. Like I I think it was just like the curiosity I don't think I wanted to know but like I wanted to know like why is that happening? Elijah I will say it like we don't we don't do stuff in the shower. Like we it's just like it's like Remember you said that you had that like suck on dick

Yeah, but that's not for me and him. That's just that was just for you. That was just for me. I am Yeah, we it's more of like have you ever seen like those threads on social media that are like Name a form of intimacy other than sex. It's like it's like that, you know, most of the time Like I said with with our schedules being what they are now. It's not always it can't always be that way. But Yeah, it's not like for sex. I hate shower sex. I hate it. Any person who ever invented shower sex? Easy cleanup, but also no, like just absolutely not. There's just like nothing appealing about it to me. Nothing. Absolutely. I'm in there

trying to dial it down. And you're in there trying to fill it up. Like, literally, no. Dial it down and you're in there trying to fill it up like literally no dial it down figuratively and literally like and literally yes yes 100% okay I have to tell you this thing that I saw I talked about at some point I don't know if it was on here with Kristin or I feel like I had the conversation with Kristin somewhere about me being an AOL news viewer from the time that I had like an AOL account. Like that was like my first email. It was so- Okay, so like some people get Yahoo, like Yahoo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Mine was sweetpemonkey at AOL.com. Nobody email it. I don't have the password still. I don't know who it belongs to. They shut it down. That shit got shut down, okay?

But I was scrolling on entertainment news on AOL and I see where Cher had filed for conservatorship of her son, Elijah. And it said that she had filed for this temporary legal conservatorship and she was citing his alleged ongoing substance abuses. And I just want to know like what you truly feel about conservatorships when it comes to parents being the conservator of an adult child because we've seen the whole situation

with Britney Spears, we've seen the unfoldings of Amanda Bynes. And I'm not saying that it's not valid to have conservatorships. Like if you are not in a place to where, or you are a threat in any way to your own self, I do think that there is a place for a conservatorship. I just don't really know how I feel about parents that could potentially have ulterior motives having conservatorships over their own grown children.

So there's a lot of moving parts for this one for me. The conservatorship is, if I'm not mistaken, she has his, the trust that he has is because of her hard work, no? Those are shares earnings. Those are shares that she put away for him. And so it's like a catch 22 because on one side you're like, you know, I worked for these. I worked for every last dime here. I saved them for you, but you have turned around and maybe like, I mean, I don't- Well, it specifically says in this article that he's entitled to regular distributions

from the trust, but given his ongoing mental health and substance abuse issues, the petitioner, which was shared, is concerned that any funds distributed to him will be immediately spent on drugs, leaving him with no assets to provide for himself and putting his life at risk, which I understand that wholeheartedly. I get that. I support that. Sometimes I just feel like in... We've just seen so much with the situation with Britney Spears. It puts a bad case in our mouth. It does, but that situation's a little bit different because those were Britney's earnings. Right.

I would agree with you. I can't say that in any circumstances. Let me not say any. I can't say that in most circumstances for the Britney Spears conservatorship, that doesn't make sense to me, those are Britney Spears' earnings. And so no other adult should control her outside of maybe a doctor if she needed a doctor to kind of help her along the way.

For this one, these are shares earnings. And yes, she put them aside for him. And I do like, he should be more than thankful to receive funds that she amassed, I don't know if that's the right word, for him and accrued for him. And so he's not, from an ethical and moral standpoint, I guess he's not really entitled to those, right? Like that's all a privilege.

That's all because of the mother he has. So I just can't say that I disagree with this situation, especially if she thinks that it's going to go to drugs and alcohol. I have trust for all my kids. I can only hope that they use their money for things that are going to propel them even further in life, but also those are their earnings. So I can't ... Like the Britney Spears situation, I can guide you, but I can't, I'm not in control of your funds. I'm not, you know, you were on TV, you earned them, but this he didn't. All right, KiwiCo clubs is the perfect gift

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off your first crate at kiwico.com promo code coffee. That's up to 50% off your first. Create at KiWico.com promo code coffee. I don't know how I would feel. It's easy to like talk about situations if you haven't found yourself in one or say this is what I would do or this is what I wouldn't do. If you're not finding yourself in those situations, I really don't know what I would do if I was in that situation. I don't know if I would do if I was in that situation. I don't know if I've ever talked to you about this before, but my brother Kyle was under a legal guardianship for like a long time. And that was just so sticky. And I feel like my dad was his

legal guardian. And I just feel like because there's so much emotion involved with the parent-child relationship that sometimes it like graze the area and maybe it would have been more successful. Like my dad's intentions of doing it was not necessarily for the control, but to be able to have some control in the event that my brother made decisions that were not in his best interest. And while I understand that, I feel like because it's kind of like a mediator in a divorce situation, right? It's like you both want the best for your kid, dad and mom, but you can't find this middle ground. So you need this third party person to help you find middle ground.

I think that that probably would have been a more successful situation with the adult guardianship had there been a middle party instead of it being like the parent and the child because you're not only trying to make like life decisions. There's emotions that are involved in that. Whereas if a third party person was involved, they're not emotionally connected to you in

the same way that like a parent would be emotionally connected to you. So I think it just like graze and muddies the water a little bit. I guess for so for your brother and your dad situation, that wasn't like a financial situation more It was like an all together situation. Kyle basically was like an adult, but not an adult. So like he couldn't make basically any adult decisions on his own. Like what? Like, can you like, like, could he buy a car? No, like financially, he couldn't make any decisions on his own.

I don't think he could get like hotel rooms. He couldn't get his own place if he wanted to get his own place. Like my dad basically was operating as Kyle under this legal guardianship granting. He was, he basically was like Todd and Kyle at the same time. So is there, was there an expiration date on this?

Like, is it like sort of like, you know, Chris and I have had in 2021, a judge ruled on our custody order that was in effect for a minimum or a minimum, it was an effect for at least two years. We could not file to change it prior to the two year mark. So, you know, there was, you know, we can make it work for this long. And then if we see changes that need to be made, we could file after 2023, whatever the case was. Is it like that? Or is it like, okay, we decide collectively when this is no longer going to be in effect. No. So from my understanding, because I wasn't, I mean, I was involved, but just like not involved really in any of the court proceedings. Basically, they had to have these status hearings. So it was like, okay, we're granting you this legal guardianship based off of these reasons, we're going to grant

it for let's say six months. I don't know if that's the case, so don't say I'm lying. But I'm going to grant it for six months and then we're going to have a status hearing after six months. If nothing has changed, then this will remain in effect." That remained in effect for years. He was under that for years. And then when he got married to his first wife, they fought to get him off of that legal guardianship once he had held a job for a certain amount of time, had clean drug screenings.

Like there were a lot of things that they had to prove along the way. And it was really hard for him to fight to be able to make decisions for himself as an adult. And you know, if you're making poor decisions and you're going out here and your parents love you and they want the best for you and your mental health is not great, substance abuse is going on, like there's all these things that could put you in harm's way. As a parent, I understand why you would wanna do that

because you feel like once you have had a child, it is your whole life mission to keep them happy, safe, and healthy. Even as adults, I feel like parents who are listening to this that have adult children, you still feel that way. Like you don't want your kids to be in any harm's way. I just personally feel based off of what I've seen that it would

have been in the best interest, not only for my dad, but for my brother as well, for there to be a neutral party to have been the legal guardian, and then they both went to that person and then it would have kind of cleaned up some of the rough edges around that situation. So what you just described to me, if that was the case for a lot of these situations, which I don't know if it is, that makes sense to me. As Isaac approaches, he's about to be 14, I would hope that he stays on the right track.

He's a good kid. But to your point, if he's an adult, I still want him to make good choices. From what it sounds like, the way that your family did it made sense, but I do like the idea of having just a neutral third party kind of be a part of that also because a third party could also recognize abuse. If you have a good invested third party that is still remaining neutral, but cares about the people, we wouldn't have a situation with Britney Spears. It wouldn't have gone that far. I would be curious to know if they have a third party in the share

case, if maybe they have a third party. I don't know. Because sometimes I feel like people use the legal system to get these types of guardianships, conservatorships, truly as a form of control and they have enough basis to have it granted but then once they do get that control, it's misused. And so I think that's where it kind of gets a little bit sticky. So I would love to know what other people's opinions are on that. We had a listener write in to us and say that they needed some advice and this person says, my daughter is 18. Isn't it so funny how this episode just like keeps coming

back full circle? I was just talking about parents who had grown kids and now a listener writes in about this and told me that her and told me and her father that she's planning on moving out. Her boyfriend is 20 and they have been together for almost three years. I feel like she's going down a bad path

and recently failed her first semester of college. I know how hard it will be for them to afford a place to live and I think she's only doing it because she doesn't wanna live where he is at anymore. Please give me any advice on how to convince her to stay at home. I genuinely don't feel like she's ready to be this independent and I feel like it will only hurt her future. Okay. First of all, thank you for coming to us, trusting us with advice. Being my first thoughts, being as though I'm, if you have an 18 year old

daughter, I'm likely closer to the age of 18 than the mother is, is what I'm assuming. You can't convince her to stay. The only thing that you can do is be there to pick up the pieces if she falls. So you wanna hope for the best. And, you know, if she's already made this decision with her boyfriend, the decision is likely already made,

but maybe just, and you don't have to say it, you don't have to tell her, but you know, if it is harder than she expects, just say it, you don't have to tell her, but if it is harder than she expects, just be welcoming, welcome her home. If she falls flat and needs to come, needs a place to stay. I relate to this person so much, whoever this girl is, because by the time I was 18 years old, I had applied to all all of these out-of-state colleges that I wanted to go out of state so that I could live like in dorms or an apartment

and kind of spread my wings. I feel like I had very helicopter parents and in a lot of ways, I'm thankful for that. But in a lot of ways, I feel like it set me back. And I wasn't as prepared as some other kids were prepared because they were allowed to live life differently than what I was. So I didn't have certain experiences in life that other people had. And so I just wanted to spread my wings and do my own thing. But I ended up going to school in Atlanta and lived at home for my first year of school. And my parents' rule was if I make the grades

and I prove to them that I can manage my schedule, I can keep my grades, I can stay on my job, then they will help me pay for living outside of the house. And at the time, I was like, this sucks. I'm gonna have to like drive an hour to school. I'm gonna have to stay at the school if I wanna do like after school events because then I would have to drive an hour home,

drive an hour back. And it's just so chaotic. And I just wanna be a regular college student like everybody else here is doing. Like everybody else has roommates. Why can't I do that? So I was like very upset by it. Why can't I do that?" So I was very upset by it. But then whenever I moved out, I did have some challenges because I really didn't

realize how much my parents actually did for me while I was still living at home. And then I was like, wow, okay, well, I have to wash fucking laundry and there's no housekeeper here. Where is she? Oh, I'm her. There was a lot of challenges that I faced whenever I moved out. But then I realized that I just needed to face those challenges in life and I was going to do what I wanted to do and I was going to figure out how to do it. And even if I was learning the hard way on a lot of those things, those were life lessons that I carried into my adulthood and I'm so thankful for them. Like as a parent, I feel like you don't want your kids to face

challenges and you want them to have the easiest life possible. And I think that's very normal for parents. But at the same time, some of those challenges have helped me be financially how I am today. I'm very cautious. Once my parents cut me off. Honey, I was living off of nanny money. Okay? Like, I was going and nanny and all these kids and I had to figure it out. So I think as hard as it is as parents to like let your kids go and let them make their own decisions. When you see red flags flying, you're going to have to let them see the red flags for themselves. Yeah. I was about to say that too. Like sometimes people just have to, I've never, there's never been a time in my 31 years, almost 32 years where I wasn't going to do what I was going

to do. You know, like I, every single decision I made, I had to do it and see what the consequences were, what the reward was. I had to see it for myself. There was a time where I did have to go back and stay with my mom. I got a letter in my room about not keeping my room clean. At that point, I was like, all right, I'm out. I'm never coming back. It's just one of those things where, like know, like you said, you don't want to see your kids fail. You don't want to see them fall. But at the end of the day, she's going to have to do this in order to come back if she needs to. She can't, she doesn't want to hear what you have to say, unfortunately. And that's just

the name of the game as parents, you know, that's what we signed up for. But, you know, you're a good mom if you're concerned about your kid failing. You're not just throwing her to the wolves. You have reservations and concerns. And so don't doubt yourself as a mom, but definitely just welcome her back when she's ready if she needs it. 100%. Okay.

We have one more listener that I want to get to because I need to know how you would handle this situation. I just need to know how you would handle this situation. I just need to know how to get guests to leave. I'm serious. It doesn't matter who in the world I invited to my house, they will not leave. We can invite people over specifically from 12 to 4 p.m.

and they just won't take a hint whatsoever. I can say, well, it's been a wonderful visit, but we need to start dinner and bedtime routine and they just stay and expect me to feed them too. We have had people stay until 9 p.m. and my kids are literally exhausted. No matter how many times I tell them it's bedtime, they won't get up. Obviously my kids don't want to go to bed with other kids running around our house. Please help. I'm peopled out. This is why I stopped having people at my house. This is why, because I don't know how to just flat out say like,

hey, like I think it's time for you to go Like like that will never be a boundary that I'm comfortable saying like it doesn't matter how many years of therapy I go to That is something I will never get comfortable saying I am overly sensitive to stuff like this I will also actually leave way before anyone even gives me a hint to leave but for some reason people don't do that for me And so I have no advice on this. I'm gonna follow gives me a hint to leave, but for some reason people don't do that for me. And so I have no advice on this. I'm going to follow any threads that we have in the Facebook group for this. Number one, that's why you just don't have people over.

That solves the problem altogether. I think you also need to start making a handwritten list or a list on the notes app on your phone to remember the people who stayed until 9pm and didn't leave, specifically don't invite them back over because they don't have any self-awareness to know that they have overstayed their welcome. Also I think it's a good idea when and I do this sometimes like I'll invite somebody over and I'm like, hey, like you want to come over to do this sometimes like I'll invite somebody over and I'm like hey like you want to come over to do this like have champagne or whatever. Yes. Okay, but just know I'm going to bed at 10 o'clock before you come over here so like don't come if you're

not leaving by 10 because I'm going to bed at 10. And like I don't feel like that's rude I just know like and you can say it jokingly in the text but be dead dead scared. Like I'm, you know, I'm exhausted. I'm going to be in bed by 10, but come over, you know, before that. I think that one makes more sense. And also, if someone said that to me, I'm thankful because just be upfront, but it is awkward for both the guest and the homeowner. You know, it's, it is awkward if you wait until like that time, but also people do need to take hints.

So there's just like no awkwardness, you know what I mean? Listen, 2024, every person that's listening to this, let's learn to read a room. Read a book and read a room. Okay, and on that note, Kayle, I'm gonna let you read foul play. Okay. Hey, girlies, I can't believe I'm writing this,

but here's my foul play. In 2021, my husband had a vasectomy, and for some reason, I just never felt like it really worked after his checkup where they said it did. Fast forward, March, 2023, post vasectomy and beautiful boob job, I started having some very familiar feelings. My boobs specifically, my nipples were wildly sensitive, like shower water hurt, then I started getting lightheaded and a bit nauseated during the day. I kept thinking it was just side effects from having an IUD removed a few months ago prior,

oh, a few months prior to having a Mirena crash. Then I started having, then I started craving pickle juice, and I mean craving it. As I was drinking it out of the jar, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I told my husband I thought I was pregnant and I wanted him to get his stuff checked.

He was certain it worked and wouldn't go back in. I jumped on Amazon and ordered a swim count test. When I arrived, I told him what to do. I didn't even know you could get those on Amazon. Me either. I kind of want to do one just for the fun of it. I don't even know. I might order one.

When it arrived, I told him what to do. He literally messed that up. So three days later, I give him head and he pulls out into the cup. I have to swirl his sperm around and drop it into the little hole, then slide it up the reservoir. You're supposed to wait 30 minutes.

The darker the blue, the lighter the sperm count. The higher the sperm count. Motherfucker turned blue in 10 seconds, the darkest blue. I was in denial. I threw it away and put my target drive up order for some, I threw it away and put in my target drive up order. Before this goes any further, he never got the vasectomy. The next day, I still, that's my guess, that's my guess.

The next day, I still couldn't believe it. I grabbed the test out of the trash and stared at it. Then for some reason, I decided to pull the sliding side and splat his swirled up jizz shot out of the trash and stared at it. Then for some reason I decided to pull the sliding side and splat his swirled up jizz shot out of the reservoir into my fricking eye and drip down my face. I took my test, it was positive, but sadly it never progressed. We were told the doctor, when we told the doctor,

she said it was way more common than people think. Thanks for all the laughs, love y'all. Okay, so. So he did get it, okay. So I was way off, but I thought maybe he didn't get it and he said he did. That's crazy. And I am ordering a sperm count test and I just want to see like what, where we're at with Elijah. Number one, I didn't know those existed. Like I thought you had to go to the doctor to get this for me sperm checked.

Okay. Number two, it's very interesting because I was just like typing in on Reddit about vasectomy fails. No one asked me why, but I was typing that in and there were so many people on there saying that they have been pregnant with a failed vasectomy situation. But then there was a lot of people on there also saying that they're like 99% accurate after like six months or six weeks or something like that. So I don't know what to believe. Like are, do they work?

I was reading all the kind of stuff about the wiener growing back together, vas deferens, like I don't know. I think there's, there's, there's always those that, that like small percentage of, of, you know, stories that you hear. But like but I think for him, I've never met someone and we, I mean, I'm an adult. We've all talked about vasectomies with our friends and things like that. I've never personally met someone that has had a vasectomy and it didn't work. I'm not saying it doesn't happen.

I think it does, but that's the same- We have a listener who got pregnant that was in our Kitty gang group chat that got pregnant and her husband had a vasectomy. Okay, well, um, so we know someone when a lot of it gets his, um, you know, well, I'll be fixed as well. So I can't honestly say, I think it's so funny because I also say that like if somebody is like, okay, are you fixed? It's like we're not dogs. No, we're not.

But it's still, it's funny to say. But it's like the easiest way to say it. Okay, next ball play. Okay. In middle school, I was at the water park with my brother, my brother's friend and his little brother who was in my grade and we were friends. We went down the big steep slide and I had what I thought was the worst wedgie ever. I pulled my bikini

bottoms out of my butthole and we proceeded to the next slide. We were in line and I thought I had to fart so I did and literal water came spewing out of my ass. I don't think anyone noticed but oh my god I was a middle school girl with her brother, his friend, and another guy in my class. How embarrassing. After the next slide I was in the bathroom and basically diarrhea water out of my butt until there was nothing left I took so much water up the butt from that damn slide and I have never been back on one of those steep tall slides and never plan to ever again I guess crossing your legs on the slide doesn't always help okay I have no words I've never heard anything like this in my entire life okay so I think it is

very common to get wedgies from like water slides. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like abnormal water that gets pushed into your butthole. I've never heard that in my entire life. Also, this is why I absolutely hate water parks. And I am so afraid of whatever bacteria is in that water because what if somebody farts in the water and it's just like a little bit of diarrhea comes out and then we're just like all swimming around. So like that's why though that's why when you walk in you can smell the chlorine they put so much in it but also same like I don't want other people's poop particles in mine also or in my like lady

parts like I just don't want that. And I also I don't really love like, we go to them, we've been to them, but like very few and far between. I agree with you. I'm not that makes me sick just to think about and I don't. I get the chlorine, like I get that situation. And, you know, all good and great. But that still doesn't negate the fact that there's turds like here or somebody peed here or somebody sneezed into the water and now I'm swimming around in it, acting like I'm having this great time in this lazy river, but really it's like I'm in bacteria cesspool, somebody like sharded in the water and now their little diarrhea particles

are just like floating around and I'm swimming around. Nope. I told you, I told you that's why I don't really love when like a lot of people are in my pool. Right. Did I tell you that? Yeah. I'm just not, not into it. And like even adults are gross. So I'm going to I'm going to end on this. Why do people why do people not cut their toenails when they go to the pool? Don't get me fucking started. Don't get me started. Really quickly also before we end the curious case of Natalia grace, Natalia speaks is out now and I'm going to be watching so that we can discuss on the next episode or an upcoming episode. So if you haven't watched it already, watch it. But if you have,

obviously just keep your notes for when I watch it. If it's out, I didn't know that it was out. I saw it all over social media that it was coming out. So you're saying it's out now. It's out now. Yep. And then Gypsy Rose, she was released on the 28th, December 28th, and her docuseries episodes will air on Lifetime on January 5th to January 7th at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. It is a six-hour special broken into two-hour parts. We're definitely going to do that. Then I did not actually know about the Casey Anthony's Parents.

The Lie to Catch Your test premieres tonight. Okay. Well, we obviously have a lot to catch up on. I have a lot to say about the Gypsy Rose thing because I saw this thread on Facebook that I want to discuss next week. So you guys stay tuned. And I just want to say, or we want to say thank you for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app, follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We love you guys. Have a great week. See ya.

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Hi, I'm Stacey Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with, like human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will too. Listen to my podcast dossie wherever you get your podcasts.