Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Garage Goals, Problematic Priorities & Scheduling Conflicts

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

CC397: Kail and Lindsie are ready for this week to be over. Kail gives an update on her boob job, talks about a very questionable friend and how she's been navigating co-parenting scheduling conflicts. Lindsie has ALSO been having co-parenting problems, and speaks on the Disney Dad theory that one parent always gets to be the fun parent while the other does not. A listener's daughter doesn't like swearing, and today's Foul Play makes us glad we're not school bus drivers. Thank you to our sponsor! Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.Calm: Visit Calm.com/CONVOS for 40% off a Calm Premium subscription.Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/COFFEE! #honeylovepodIQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for helpRoBody: Find out if you’re covered at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Go to Ro.Co/Safety for boxed warning and full safety information.Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app.

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kailin Lindy. Good morning and welcome to Coffee Combo's podcast. Why are you pointing to me like that? I am just this week has been the most Monday week ever. Not mundane, Monday. Oh, like every day feels like a Monday? Yeah, like it's Wednesday and it feels like a Monday. Absolutely. I felt like that on Sunday before the week started. I'm just ready for next Monday. I'm getting my hair done. I canceled my trip to LA because I'm terrified of flying right now. We had tech issues this morning. My meeting ran late

to start and to finish because of the tech issues and just trying to figure my life out. So, well, how are the kids? How are your, how is your child? My kids are good. They're good. Jackson starts basketball playoffs while he has a practice tonight, but get this practice starts at 8pm.

See there was a discrepancy last night in my son's basketball schedule. And I literally texted back and I said, unfortunately, we won't be able to make it because he had tutoring at seven. You can't move a practice that was set to start at 530 and at 630 and then decide you're going to not only move the location, but also move the time. I was like, no, tutoring is a priority. So unfortunately, we won't be able to make it. 8pm is crazy work. Oh my gosh. So they normally run over, which I don't mind about the running over because

Jackson loves to practice and he loves it. So it doesn't bother me. Normally practices are already late. It's at seven o'clock already. So now that it's playoffs, they just, I guess they like switch around the gyms and like all the stuff. The schedule just looks very different. So we got the time slot of 8pm for our playoff practices, which run until 9 and that's if they finish on time. I think the older they get, like Lincoln can handle a later practice. Isaac can handle late rehearsals, but my younger ones like Lux Creed, you know, eventually

when Rio, I think when he turns five or six, he'll have some interest. The littles, I think, can't handle like such a stretch because I mean, Creed's just, this is the first year he hasn't napped. You know what I mean? And on weekends, sometimes he still does. So for them, it doesn't work. But I think for Jackson and Lincoln's age, it's fine. But it's it's rough out here in these streets. Listen, being a parent is the hardest hood you ever gonna go through, honey. Oh, period. Did you see the couple that went to Mexico and they were the only two people on the entire resort in Mexico? Absolutely not. But if I was the couple that did that, I would immediately leave.

No, that is truly the setting of a novel because I'm like, is it plagiarism if I write a novel about this? So this is insane. Cameron and Carly recorded their experience at Grand Vela's resort in Cabo San Lucas. There was enough staff, but there was no other guests. So they went to this five-star, it was allegedly five-star resort in Cabo San Lucas, but they were the only two guests staying on the entire resort. Cameron said, this was kind of creepy, but we had the entire resort to ourselves. At first it started out as a joke. So I recorded on the first day, but not seeing anybody else, but employees, you can see as a day progress, it starts to freak us out. The way that I would have freaked the fuck out, why did that happen? It got to the point that the couple became excited whenever they saw a person not wearing

one of the resort's white uniforms, thinking it may be a fellow guest, but it ended up actually being construction crew. Like those people were ended up being construction crew. And this was the baby moon that they planned. So they were pregnant and it was a baby moon. And they say it was their best trip ever, but I was very concerned. I was like, is this like they're trying to like hide bodies or something? I don't know. It says it turns out that the resort had literally just opened when the couple arrived for their getaway and the management tells Inside Edition that they operate at 100% no matter how many guests are staying at the property.

But I want to know why I didn't get more guests for opening season. But also like when you go to book something, let's say I'm like booking a trip online and I come across this resort. You're telling me that no other people booked anything other than just these two people that saw that resort? Well, what's so interesting is it has almost five stars on like online. Like I looked it up and I mean, it does look really nice, but I'm trying to figure out like what are people's other like

have they booked more guests since then? Like what's I mean, it looks stunning. That's honestly creepy as fuck. Should I go do a second like trial the next couple that goes? No, but it looks so nice. I just don't understand. I mean, it looks stunning. Like the weirdness of being at a resort and just walking around. Normally you're like passing people seeing other people dining and you're the only fucking people there. No, it literally feels like a movie or a book. I need to ask you about traveling. Jackson and I have a trip coming up at the middle of February.

Where y'all going? We're going to 30A. And where is that? It's in Florida, like the panhandle. Oh, cute, okay. So what do you think about the difference between staying in an Airbnb with your kids or going to a hotel?

This is tough for me because I've done both. And there are aspects of both that I love. For example, in a hotel, all my kids are hungry at different times, I can order them room service, I can do all of that, I don't have to worry about cleaning the room, you just throw a 20 on the table or whatever you're gonna do, let them this housekeeping clean, take up take care of it. Everything is at your fingertips. I do like the aspect of Airbnb though, where you have an entire place to yourself. And then sometimes you also have a pool. Like we typically say,

Airbnb's have a pool. I stayed at an Airbnb in Costa Rica, Hawaii. The lake house has a pool. There are definitely aspects of both that I love. I will say this. One thing that I cannot stand about Airbnb because sometimes it's supposed to either be better than a hotel, more affordable than a hotel sometimes, et cetera, et cetera. I will not stay at an Airbnb that is asking me to do the cleaning service before I check out. That is something that I absolutely will not like. Why are we paying the cleaning fee? We have to check

out at 10am sometimes. Why am I paying all these extra fees to book with you if I'm then stripping the bed, putting everything in the laundry room, taking out the trash, wheeling the trash bins down to the that is not my job. That's not why I'm staying here. So I'm sorry, but if you are an Airbnb owner that is doing that to your guests, that is not my job. You hire a cleaning service to do that, a housekeeping service. So now you are getting extra fees from me. Plus I'm doing some of the work. And then on top of it, you're going to have someone I have to check out early and you have to have someone have someone No, absolutely not.

And in your situation with as many kids as you have, think about how many beds that is to have to strip think about how much trash that is accumulated with that many people, right? I will look at people's reviews and stuff on Airbnb. And if it has anything about like having to strip a bed or take out the trash. And most Airbnb is that I've stayed at it's like you have to take out the trash of all the place. It's not just like the kitchen trash. You've got to dispose of like bathroom trash like all the stuff. So you're walking around trying to get all of that shit together.

While you're also trying to check out at 10am. I don't. Also, the other thing is when we went to we went on vacation last year, stayed in an Airbnb and the the like trash bins that they keep in the garage were full and overflowing and the smell was absolutely horrendous. I messaged the Airbnb owners because I'm not going to one be responsible for that. And two, if they didn't have to do it, I'm not doing it. So you better come figure this out. Like I'm not, we're not the same that I swear to God, this ain't that.

Okay. I absolutely love saying in the Airbnb for multiple reasons because it just feels more like at home. I don't feel crammed and like blocked into a hotel room. I kind of sometimes feel a bit claustrophobic in hotels. So I just feels like more homey. And if you have the pool, I feel like at any time, if you've got kids with you, they can just go out and swim.

It's not like you have to go downstairs to like, do all the things to get in the pool, take pool toys, like, Well, I think you could also save some coins to by going to like Costco or Sam's Club to like stock up the Airbnb for snacks, like if you have a lot of kids, I mean, even for Jackson. But also, I mean, you could do door dash or like Uber eats to which is a similar service to like room service in a hotel, right? Like, I don't know, I think that there's pros

and cons depending on where you go. There's definitely certain places that I do prefer a hotel. Like New York City, I've done both. And I found if you're staying in Times Square, a hotel, but if you're staying outside of Times Square, I prefer an Airbnb. I don't wanna stay in a hotel. I also just feel like if you're traveling with kids

to your point about everybody wanting to eat at different times or, you know, it's like, everybody needs a snack every 30 minutes. I love the idea of an Airbnb because you have a kitchen. Like you have a kitchen. And also if you have kids that play hard all day, they might not wanna go out to eat or might not be in the mood that you want to deal

with them going out to eat. So it's just like easier to just cook the meal and do it all there. I've also been on vacations where if you're in an Airbnb, you can have a chef come in. And sometimes it's included for a separate, like a separate fee for them to cook one, two or three meals for you per day. And they come into the Airbnb and then leave. Oh my God. That's amazing. Yeah, it's really nice. Why it's not unlocked that for me before? I thought, I wonder if they would have it in 30A because I mean, I'm not super familiar

with Florida, but I feel like that's something that they probably would offer. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. Kale, have you still been drinking IQ Joe? You know I do. I love it. Jitter-free coffee that has a natural caffeine and boosts my focus mood with its magnesium and lion's mane blend. I love it. I love the IQ bars. I was just telling Kristen the other day that I got two of the sample packs. They're in my car and now I just have to go and get like a handy dandy organizer. I love to be able to have these snacks in my car

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Text combos to 64,000. That's combos to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Okay. So I have to tell you, I fully broke up with Alani. Oh, same. I have, I mean, this is actually embarrassing. Oh, I only have two I am a ghost

girly. So Okay, well, I'm back on what I was on when I was married. It's a Seminoe energy powder. It's like a beer version of an energy drink. So I'm back on the link, drop the link. And when I tell you the withdrawal from Elani, the first couple of days was catastrophic. Really? Yes. What's so interesting about me with energy drinks, because I never thought I'd be an energy drink early is that when I travel, if I don't have them, I don't have, like, I don't care. I just drink them solely out of. Is it like, no, I, yeah, maybe because if I don't have them, I don't have them. Like I don't care. Alani, ghost, coffee, any of it. Like I can go when we were in Spain for two weeks, I didn't drink any of it. No, I didn't drink

coffee or energy drinks and they didn't affect me in any way. What'd you drink? Water? Yeah. I mean, they, there's, they don't have anything there. It was awful. I also wanted to give you a little follow-up. So I ordered, one of our listeners had posted this in our Facebook group. It's these little, it's called Clean Touch Ink Pads. It says perfect for baby and pet.

And so it's got these little ink pads on them and then it's got the- Oh, cute. That we can do it for Della's nose and pet. And so it's got these little ink pads on them. And then it's got that we can do it for Delia's nose and paws. How is Delia? Do you have an update on her? I do not have an update on her. Will and I have not been communicating the most effectively lately. So I do not have an update, but I will be getting an update on her today when I go and pick Jackson up Okay, I hope that she's at least comfortable It just worries me because dogs can't talk, you know, so it's like would she say she was uncomfortable

Depending because I think that a lot of dogs hide it or they don't show it until they're like in unbearable pain At least in my experience, obviously don't want to speak for everybody don't show it until they're like in unbearable pain, at least in my experience, obviously don't want to speak for everybody. You know, you might not know that she's super uncomfortable until she's to the point where she you you can tell. Do you know what I mean? So I don't know, I told you that she had a type of blood cancer, right? I believe so. Yeah. So there's a spot that's in her mouth. So when she goes to eat, it gets irritated and then it bleeds. And it doesn't seem to like, really bother her that much from what I've seen. And it hasn't stopped her eating patterns or anything like that.

She's she's still really good about eating. I'm just like that has to hurt. Yeah, it's like a cold sore, canker sore. Yeah, that you just I can't word canker. I keep that word kanker. I don't even know what a kanker sore is truly. Or like if you have like a cut in your mouth and you keep like, like tonguing it. Yeah, poor thing.

Like a, what's that thing? Is it called an ulcer? Yeah, like a kanker sore. But is an ulcer and a kanker the same thing? Probably, but I don't know if you'd call like a stomach ulcer like a stomach canker. Ew. That's like the worst thing that I've ever heard. Okay, so a couple things that are currently going on with me, I look like this because I've been out doing manual labor. I don't know. I feel like I kind of like the messy hair look on you right now with the hat and the off the shoulder. It's giving very effortless, like sort of

beachy. Like I kind of like it like I'm digging it. Oh, well, this was an effortless moment because the amount of I don't know how like your family is at home. Do y'all do you park in your garage? Yes. Okay. Every single day multiple times a day. It doesn't matter if I'm only going to be home for two hours. I park my shit in the garage. So when your kids get out, they drop their stuff like at the door or is there like another drop place that they drop things

off? If I decide to build a new house, I'm having a drop zone. So we come in the garage door, like the one to the mud room, half of the stuff gets dropped right there so everyone else trips over it. And then the rest of the things get dropped on between the dining room table and the counter. So we have like three drop zones. Yeah, I can't do the three drop zones. No, which means that my garage has become the drop zone so much so that it is my drop zone. Also, I will take a picture and post it on

the Instagram or the Facebook of the amount of shoes. Oh, we just went through ours and I have an entire rack of cleats now. And then we separated everybody because I only built four cubbies for four kids. Now we have there's nine of us. So the dog room is going to start going to get that's going to be the next one that's going to be more storage because there's two closets in there. So we're going to have to figure that out. So what you do you have anything in your garage? Like is your garage empty outside of the drop zone? Well, currently right now, it's empty and everything's in my driveway. So did you do

epoxy on your garage floors? No. Oh, you didn't? I'll have to send you a picture because my garage floors look pristine. See, I love that. But I think my house is so chaotic that it would not hold up as well as like at your house. Okay, so did a lot of research on this epoxy situation. Number one, I feel like it cuts down on the heat like in a garage in the summertime, you know how it'll get like super hot in there? Okay, with the concrete floors being sealed and you can ask your concrete

guy, your concrete guy, AKA hot neighbor. Yeah, you can ask him if I'm correct on this theory that because the concrete is sealed, it seems like it's like a barrier so it doesn't get as hot in there, which I absolutely love. It is the best thing in the world. However, do not let your husband or your boyfriend or your ex husband go and buy an epoxy kit from Home Depot. Oh, see, that's where I draw like I'm not. I draw the line. I'm not into the DIY projects and Elijah gets mad at me because I know that there are certain things he's capable of. But I don't want to give him the chance to even remotely fuck up. So I would rather hire someone who where

I can get my money back. Do you know what I mean? We're like, if Elijah fucks up in a proxy job, we're fucked out of that. We're fighting and then I got to hire somebody else anyway. So there are certain things that I will not like DIY. It looks so good. And you know how I am with like a pressure washer. I can put that shit on low speed and rinse my whole garage out. And it is so, it's basically like another area of your house. Now.

I love that for you. One day when my kids are grown and less messy, I hope to be on that level. I'm going to send you a picture of it because I know that you are going to get your concrete guy to do this like next week. Also what I would like to do for my garage like next week is have it completely cleaned out and rinse the floors and then also maybe paint the walls to make sure they're all good and golden. Okay.

Does it bother anybody else that is listening to this? If you have scuffs on your walls, it bothers me. It bothers me so bad. I will go around this house to every room, like a absolute fucking psychopath with a magic eraser. And if I see a scuff, I'm scrubbing one of my, did I tell you how one of my kids went to their dad's and was like, Elijah makes us wash the walls. Wait, what? Wash the, what do you mean? Can you explain? They'll put their dirty ass hands all over the walls and there's like scuffs right here, right? This one I have to paint over. This is from my chair. My kids will have dirty ass hands and I don't know what they're doing. And a lot of times it's going up the stairs

or like walking to their room. And I'm like, so one of them went over to their dads, it was complaining because Elijah had them washing the walls, but it's like, you did that. So you are on Sunday or Saturday cleaning them off the walls with a magic eraser or a Clorox wipe, whatever. Do not think that you're not going to not clean it up. Okay, so I feel like I was very diligent with Jackson when he was probably like three or four years old. I feel like that's a very common time that they're wall touchers. Yeah. I would pop his hand and I'd be like, no, like, do not touch the walls. He will not. Like I do not have that problem in my house, but I feel like you got to get a that's one of those situations you got to get a hold of like when they're young enough

so that it sinks in. Oh, 100%. I would agree with you. I also I mean, you're cleaning it up. So I don't know. And I don't feel bad if you have your kids washing the walls. It is what it is. Well, the way that I'm doing every project that I can think

of doing around here, I'm probably gonna have to file bankruptcy in about four days. Kristen said that my look is giving Jessica Simpson with nothing but a t shirt on. Nothing but a t shirt on. I don't even know the words. You know how you decide your boobs done? Yeah. Number one, I need an update on what those puppies are looking like. But number two- Not the puppies.

Number two, I need to know if you are a thin sports bra strap wearer or a thick. You're a thick and I'm a thin. I will absolutely try a thin one now that I know, but this one zips in the front, so it's a little bit easier for me right now because I still can't comfortably lift my head like this is fine but anything higher than this I can't yet. So I am excited to wear bralettes now that I'm small enough to wear bralettes. And I would absolutely love a link to the thin sports bra. These are just like cute look at them. Hold on. Oh, that's so, that's so cute to me.

And I just, they look a little bit more elevated than like a big strap. Yeah. That's why I had to put this on because I was like, if this comes out, it's not going to look cute and dainty. And you could layer that with other things or under like overalls or like a shirt like you have on now. So I send me a link for those. Hit me with that link girl. Hit me with that link girl. Hit me with the link. Are you guys, there is a lot happening these days for all of us and I know that it can feel especially

stressful or hopeless when things are just outside of our control, but that's where Calm comes in and it can help you restore your sense of balance and peace amidst outside chaos. Calm is the number one app for sleep and meditation, giving you the power to calm your mind and change your life. I absolutely love the meditations and Jackson loves the sleep stories. Everyone faces unique challenges in their daily lives

and mental health isn't about a cookie cutter approach. That's why Calm offers a wide range of content and programs to help you navigate life's ups and downs. Meditations, sleep stories, sleep meditations, and calming music, That's why Calm offers a wide range of content and programs to help you navigate life's ups and downs, meditations, sleep stories, sleep meditations, and calming music, grounding exercises, and expert-led talks to help you handle grief, self-improvement, care for relationships, and more.

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when paired with a diet and exercise. Kristen goes, Lindsay, do you have to get yours redone? My what? Your boobs. Why do I need to get them redone? I feel like they look great. They do look great, but I asked for 20 year implants and they said those don't exist. Oh, well it has been 10 years,

but I don't have any problems with mine. He said that you could go get like an MRI or like a scan to see if they're good to see if there are any concerns because they can last over for 10 years over 10 years. But just thinking about that makes me like I never want to undergo surgery again. Truly just the thoughts of being cut open right now with all the projects and things that I have going on, that's like really my priority. Yeah. So that's probably not going to happen. Maybe next year. You know? Maybe next year.

What are you doing? Checking my belly button. Is it still rotten? No, but I don't think that my body likes the mesh to fix my diastasis. I really think that my body doesn the mesh to fix my diastasis. I really think that my body doesn't like it. Okay. So can you tell me about this diastasis thing? Because I feel like I've seen a lot of moms. There's a mom that I follow on Instagram and I think she has like quadruplets or something and she got that and it was like a separation situation. Did yours look like that visibly or was it – it did?

So like right here under my – like here's my boobs. I know I'm wearing black so you can't really tell. You could see the separation right here just like maybe like an inch or two under and then you could feel it. And then there was like a protruding – like basically when your muscles separate, they start to protrude. So that's what was happening right above my belly button. You can see the protruding. The problem now that I'm seeing is that I do feel the, I can feel the mesh.

It's not comfortable and it looks worse than when I, than before. That did not solve the problem. Like it almost made it worse. Is that whatever you called it, is that most common in pregnancies that aren't singletons? No, I think there's no rhyme or reason. I honestly don't think there's any rhyme or reason. That's so crazy, but you never had that

with any of your other pregnancies, right? Except the twins. But see Creed, and someone messaged me yesterday and was like, I didn't realize how close in age Creed and Rio are. Creed and Rio are only two years apart. So if you think about it, I had three pretty much back to back pregnancies within four years. So I think that also contributed to it. And then the twins obviously stretching it in different directions. But like this picture, I don't care if you guys, you can see where. No, but this is with the mesh. So you can still see the separation right here. But now I feel pain here. And like when I, like I couldn't do a crunch.

If I did a crunch, I'd feel the mesh and I don't like that. Are you getting back into the gym? Yeah. And I, um, Lincoln and I have been working on our miles. So he's been running a mile every day. I've been walking a mile on the treadmill. I want to do free weights, but I'm just a little nervous. Did you get the treadmill? Yeah, I got the Peloton. Do you love it? Yeah, I love it.

And you can watch Hulu on it. You can watch TV. It's really cool. I mean, I don't know if other options of treadmills can do that. I'm sure they can now. How fast can Lincoln run a mile? He really runs. I mean, I don't know if other options of treadmills can do that. I'm sure they can now. How fast can Lincoln run a mile? He really runs. He's 11. He probably runs like a seven-minute mile. That's pretty good.

I think that's pretty good. One of my friend's husbands had posted on Instagram. He was like, I'm getting back in shape and like I'm doing all the things. It's a new year. It's a new me. I'm going to run a seven minute mile. Oh, then it pans to the next part of the video. And he goes, just kidding. It was 11. I'll see you guys back next week. I think the fastest mile I ever ran was probably just over eight minutes.

Like I've never been able to, and that was in my prime. That was like prime time. Yeah. I was never going to run faster than that ever. So something that I'm going to start doing every evening, it has been so nice here. I don't know what the weather's been like there, but it's been like low sixties here this week. Same. And so it's really just like giving me the itch to get out and walk. And I used to do that all the time. Like every day I would go for a walk. And I used to do that all the time. Like every day I would go for a walk. I need to start doing that because I feel like that's very good for your mental health.

No, absolutely. I mean, it's not even just for your physical health. It's truly for your mental health. I was doing a makeup tutorial the other day as if I know what the fuck I'm doing. Do any of us know what the fuck we're doing? It's so funny because when you watch people do makeup, I don't really feel like there's a necessarily right or wrong way to do it. Everybody does it so different. And I'm doing this and I look down and my drawer and my Apple watch is hanging out there.

Do we know that said Apple watch has not been charged for like at least two years and I used to be like the most dedicated person to that Apple watch to the point that like, if I did not have 10,000 steps, I would walk around the house until I got 10,000 steps. And you just know that like you're getting back into serious business and really dedicating time to yourself when you put a fucking Apple watch on. No, I agree with you that Apple watch held me accountable when I was wearing it. And that's a good idea. I'm bringing back the Apple watch. We said that a couple of weeks ago. I mean, it had been like six weeks ago at this point. I'm bringing the Apple watch back because I think I also have like a new ish one. No, or do I? Yeah, I think it's fairly

new. I got within the last year. So I need to bring it. I should ask Elijah where it is because I know he was charging it for me with the intentions of me bringing it back and then I didn't bring it back and now it's probably dead. So I'm going to bring that back. I love it. Next time that I see you on a recording, I'm going to look for your Apple watch. And if you're not wearing it, I'm going to be pissed. I'm going to be like, you are not focused on your mental health right now. Period. Okay. We have a couple of listener topics. Okay. And then I have a topic that I want to talk to you about. Oh, well tell me. I'm

struggling a little bit. I have a friend who is her entire, and I used to be like this. So I just want to preface this conversation by saying in my early twenties, well, probably all the way up until my early twenties, I was like this, a woman or a friend who her entire existence revolves around a man. Okay. So she's not going unless there's a man involved. She's not going unless she knows that there is a potential that she could flirt, have sex with date, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. A man like everything revolves around a man to the point that I have legitimate concerns about where she stands with her children.

How do I be friends with someone like this, who I love? I love her, but her priorities are really fucked up. Because I will say this too, not justifying that my life was revolving around a man because I don't think that's ever okay. I think that that's very deep rooted, a deep rooted problem. But I do think that looking back to my situation versus this situation is that I had two kids where they were going to their dad's 50% of the time. So I do think it was a little bit different. I had the free time.

I feel like if there's anything good that comes from a divorce situation, you get time to yourself that other people who are married do not get, like just by default with timeshare, right? So I feel like if you were doing that when you didn't have your kids, that's not a comparable situation to what you're talking about. I agree. I agree with you. But I just, I know that I'm like, I see, you know, the trolls

and stuff like that. Oh, Kale has this many men, that many men. And I think contrary to popular belief is that I wasn't actually sleeping with, you know, guys that I surrounded myself with and they'll be the first to tell you that, you know what I mean? Like I wasn't sleeping with them. I just have a really hard time because I love this person so much and it's just not something that... So can you give me an example? Like, do you try to do something with said person and the whole focus is finding a man

during those situations? Yes. And also one of the children has cried about never seeing their mom. Oh, so she's leaving said children to go and do this. And it's not once a week. It's once, twice, three times, four times, five times a week. Is it because she's going on dates or she's like going out to places single and hopes that she's going to find somebody. Both. Oh, she's doing both.

Lindsay, I shit you not. This kid not only cried at my house until he threw up because his mom's going to the bar three and four days a week. The kid also cried to a mutual friend who works at the school at lunchtime because mom is going out. She's leaving her six-year-old daughter with three older brothers and going out until three o'clock in the morning She's got four kids and the dads are not involved. She leaves her six year old daughter home alone with her three older I'm sorry, but that's in no world. Is that ever happening? Yeah that

That actually is like a DSS situation and I don't know how to be friends with this person So like but I like love her but, what the fuck are you doing? So I actually know someone that leaves your children at home. I'm not friends with this person. I just know this person leaves their children at home and will go out and hang out with other friends, men, whatever, at bars until like wee hours of the morning. And how do you not become friends with someone like that? Because I don't know how someone would be friends with, I just can't get behind that.

I have a hard time with it and I don't know, maybe I need to make more time to go out at this point in my life, but also I just can't get behind, we're too old right now. And you're never getting the time back with your kids. And I think that also needs to be taken into consideration as like the bars will always be there. Well, I think also there's a time and a place for everything. Right. And if you are regularly doing that, and that is a part of like your weekly routine and you are, I would venture to say that's

neglect of your children. No, it is neglect of your children. Can we do it one day a week? Maybe just do it one day a week? I don't... But who also has time for that? I am shocked when I learn how many people go out and as frequently as they do as parents, and I don't mean to mom shame. I don't care if you have a supportive partner.

I don't care if you have 12 nannies. I don't care if you have a supportive partner. I don't care if you have 12 nannies. I don't care if you dropped them off at grandma's house at the point that you're going out every single weekend and you don't do anything with your kids. I am concerned about your priorities. And I think that there is a difference because I do read the comments on, you know, people saying that I've been with men and this, that and the third is like, I think before I lived the way that I do now with having a supportive partner and having five of my kids almost 100% of the time, I was going out when I didn't have my children. Yeah.

And I think that's a completely different scenario. All right, guys, I've been talking a lot about doing projects at my house and after the holiday hustle, there's nothing like giving your home a little TLC. So whether you're tidying up clearing out or just want some new looks to start the new year, Wayfair has got everything you need all within your budget. I actually am waiting on my grill that I just ordered from Wayfair. I ordered the Kenmore four burner propane gas grill with the searing side

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Give your home the refresh that it needs with Wayfair. Head to Wayfair.com right now. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Kristen said, what is the appropriate age to leave children at home at nighttime alone? Like, first of all, 18. At night is crazy. Like, what time are we talking?

Are we talking like, for example, I'll use my kids as an example because I don't want to like mom shame. This is my situation, right? Like Isaac is 15. I would feel comfortable leaving him at home. Maybe if I was taking the kids to a sporting event, he didn't want to go. I would feel comfortable maybe between nine, tennis pushing it. I don't feel comfortable with my 15 year old staying at home past 9pm. That's my personal preference. Kristen also said, how old for an older sibling to babysit?

Again, I can only speak to my situation. I'm not having my older kids babysit my smaller children. I don't think that's fair, especially if it was for me to go to the bar, especially if it was for me, like that's never fucking happening. If we're talking about, so I can run down to Dollar General, if we're talking about, so I can run Lux Dollar General, if we're talking about so I can run Lux to practice, if we're talking about something

like that where it's like an hour or two, I would probably let my 15-year-old son stay with my seven-year-old son if Lincoln had to be somewhere. I personally would not be leaving my 15-year-old with my four-year-old. That's just not, I don't feel comfortable with that. And you have an only child. What is your take on it? Well, I also come from a family of five children, right? Okay. So you have experience. I do have experience, but I was always like a little adult from the time I was born. And I wanted to be a babysitter. Like I wanted to be a waitress. Like, you know, the want was there. The desire was there. The desire is not there for Isaac. Like I wanted to do all of that stuff and write a homemaker and feel like I was grown

because I can like put in laundry and I can like clean a floor and my parents come home and the entire kitchen's clean and there's like a meal cooked. Like that was your dream. That was my dream. And I thrived in that environment. Also, my parents were in real estate, um, back at the time that I would have been babysitting. So them taking younger, my younger siblings to ride around, ride around in a car to look at properties on a weekend. It's like, why can't they just stay home? Like, we're not doing anything. They can watch a movie play board games, like, whatever that did. Yeah, or me, but I think you also have to very much know your child. Agreed. And I think if Lincoln's 15, Lincoln is very involved

with the babies, Isaac doesn't really want anything to do with it. So I do think that would play a factor. But as it stands right now, I don't think that there's a world where I could go out multiple nights a week and leave Isaac with his siblings until like in the nighttime. That's not comfortable for me. And I just don't like leaving at 10pm coming home at 3pm. Absolutely the fuck not. Leaving at 10pm coming home at 3am. Could you imagine?

No, I could not, but I want to put like a completely different spin on this scenario. If you are a single parent and you are dating, do you feel, because I personally feel, that Kristin called me out one time on the Southern T and said that my last dating relationship was also on a custody schedule called 225. So I would see him on two days that I didn't have Jackson. I would not see him on the five days that I did have Jackson, or I would see him on the five days I didn't have Jackson, but not the days that I had my son because I feel like I don't want to say luxury because I feel like that's the wrong word. I'm just leaning into the fact that I'm on a 225 custody

schedule and I'm going to fulfill myself when I don't have my son because I would not have him anyway. Right? Yeah. But at the time that I do have my child, I feel like that time should be dedicated to kid friendly activities or things that need to be a priority in his life and intentional one on one time with me. How do you feel about it? No, I agree with you. I totally agree with you. And I think that even in times where I wasn't necessarily in the right state of mind, I guess, for like

the dating and like I was sort of blurring the lines or whatever, I agree with you, right? Like, I don't think if you have, and I will call it a luxury because some single moms don't have it. If you have the luxury of the other parent being involved, I don't think that you need to worry about dating while you have your child. I also, it's hard for me to picture a single mom, right, that maybe doesn't have the help of another parent. And you have small children. I think that dating doesn't need to be a priority, unfortunately. And for me, that's just how I view it. And I have a hard time when I see, like there was this one girl I knew and she at the time, I don't know where she stands in life right now,

but at the time when I knew her, she had two kids and she literally said the weekends are for her and she would leave on Friday, she would drop her kids off and not pick them up until Sunday night, every single weekend, literally every single weekend. And I cannot understand that for the life of me because you will never get this time

back with your kids. You going out and you partying, you going out and drinking, you going out to the bar, you going out with a man can wait. And like, yes, we do, Lindsay and I think both understand that moms have to fill their cups. I do agree with that. I personally can't get behind. There was a time where Joe had custody every single weekend.

So I had Monday through Friday, I had the hard stuff. I ended up, this was back in like 2011 or something like that before we moved to Delaware. It was before we moved to Delaware. And that was my argument. And I had told my lawyer at the time, I said, I'm not getting to do any of the fun stuff because I have the brunt of the work Monday through Friday. I said, and I don't get to do, I don't get to go to the zoo. I don't get to take them to the fair. I don't get to do any of that stuff. And so we ended up changing the custody schedule at that point because it was like, you know, I don't, can't get behind it. I also know another person who literally goes out multiple times a week.

I don't understand it when you have small children, single mom or partner mom, divorced mom, no matter what, I do not understand it. I had no idea that you had that custody arrangement where you had Isaac during the week. And then, so you just unlocked news to me. I was just having a conversation last week that I feel like that's the most unfair custody plan in the world because yes, ideally,

would it be nice for your child to be able to go to school and come back to the same place every day for like that consistency Monday through Friday? Yes. But the parent that's doing that, they're probably also the ones doing doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, all of the things. And then that's where the term Disney dad comes in because they get to do all the fun stuff on the weekends. Like that is a fucking robbery. This month specifically, one of the dads has every single weekend because I offered makeup time. So one, he has already told me he will not be taking to sports. He will not be mainly not participating in

sports. I have Monday through Friday every single week on a regular week until summertime. It's really eye-opening for me that you say that because you're right. That is the Disney dad. When you look at it that way, it's fun stuff on the weekends only no real responsibilities outside of what like reading for school, right? Or reading for just to read. Outside of that, there is no responsibility, no obligations, especially if he's not participating in sports and things of that nature. So to me, I agree with you. I think that is where the term Disney dad comes from for sure. Just to wrap up the entire conversation, I just want to be clear that we're strictly speaking

on leaving your kids for pleasure versus leaving them for work because I do think they're two entirely different scenarios. And oddly enough, just had a conversation with a business partner of mine and he was literally like, I was saying how I wanted to move away from traveling a lot. And he was like, but you have to make your money. And I'm like, but I want to be with my family. You know, I think they're they're entirely different conversations where you have to be away to provide for your kids versus being away solely because you want to and you don't, I don't know, that just frustrates me. No, I mean, I can completely understand that this weekend. I actually had a little mini co-parenting dispute yesterday

because playoff schedules come out and I cannot stand when somebody books something knowing that there is a playoff schedule coming out that we do not know anything about. I was asked by someone if Jackson and I would be available to go to an animal sanctuary, like where they have all these different types of animals. I think they're like rescues. I said, I cannot commit to doing that. Unfortunately, right now, I will let you know

as soon as the playoff schedule comes out because that commitment supersedes everything else. Fair. Will calls me yesterday and he says, the playoff schedule's out and they play next Wednesday night. If they win that, they play the following Saturday. But we already have an obligation. And I'm like, in my mind, because I'm not going to sit there and argue, it's like,

that obligation doesn't really matter to me because this was an obligation that was signed up for months ago when he started playing basketball. Now they've made it to playoffs. They've only lost one game. Like it's obviously very important to this team. So I don't give a fuck what other obligation that you have. I feel the exact same way. Becky and I did an entire episode on schools on youth sports, and this was not necessarily a part of the conversation, but it does tie in. I wholeheartedly agree with you, especially at the age that Jackson is. And I would agree that it, I would, I would stand 10 toes down that it probably should start around, I'll say Lux's age.

I think Creed is a little bit young, so there is some legal room, lenience there. Yeah. Like I said, the tutoring prioritized over the basketball practice that moved times and locations, different story. I wholeheartedly agree with you and I agree with that even if the other parent doesn't want to. Right? And I agree with that even if the other parent doesn't want to. So one of the dads signed the kids up for sports and we didn't discuss it, whatever. I don't love it.

I don't care. I'll still take them. It is what it is. I'm not going to argue. At the point that you are saying, oh, we can't do this. We already have plans, but you know that the kids play X, Y, and Z like your situation. I do not agree. I think that the child's obligation is this and you guys can do the plans after before,

or you can reschedule. That is exactly how I feel because you're not teaching the overall, the bigger picture. And also to your point, whether it's bigger picture or not, it's like, that's important to the kids. And that is a team sport where every single player is needed, especially for the playoffs Why could you imagine if Travis Kelsey was like, I have another obligation I can't make it to the Super Bowl this week like gotta go fuck Taylor. So it's like and I get it It's like you can't really compare youth sports to the Super Bowl But I'm just saying like that's his job, right?

Like the kids job is school and with whatever their extra correct curricular activities are. So to me, when you sign your child up for a sport, you have to see it through. Like that is what their obligation is and anything else can come after. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Okay, we've talked about a lot of red flag things. We often hear about red flags and partners and friends. We should avoid them. But what about green flags? If you're not sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify green flags actively and practice them in your relationship. Embody the green flag energy yourself. So whether you're dating, married, building a friendship or just working on yourself, it's truly time to form relationships that love you back.

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like all the things. I feel like at the point that you commit yourself and at Jackson's age, he's 12 years old, so he knows what a commitment is. Yeah. At the point that you commit yourself, nothing else outside of what your first commitment was matters more than that commitment. Now there are caveats to that. If there was like a family funeral or like something like that, yes. But when we're talking about forgoing a playoff game or bitching about a time of a playoff game because of a family birthday party, yeah

that no. I agree with you. But here's my next question. Since you and Will have final decision making on different things, and I think his is sports, right? Yeah. What do you do if he signs Jackson up for something and you absolutely don't want it because you have final decision making? Do you just go along with it and you're like, okay, this is it? So actually the way that it's written in my custody plan is that he can sign him up for a sport,

but he cannot sign him up the entirety. Like whatever he signed up for, it can only be one extracurricular activity per sport season. Okay. So once that is maxed, nothing else can be signed up for unless he comes to me and says,

hey, would you be willing to do X, Y, and Z? And then at that point, I can say yes or no. How would you feel if he signed him up for one thing for a season and did not talk to you first and then told you after the fact? How would you feel about that? I would feel upset because you also have to consider that it is affecting your parenting time. Okay.

You know what I mean? Like for example, when Jackson got signed up for football, I'll just use that as an example. He had three practices a week. Two of the practices fell on Will's days. He was traveling regularly during some of those days. So I was taking on his days as well as one practice fell on my day. So at the point that it's impacting another parent's parenting time, that should be a conversation

because you don't get to dictate what somebody else is going to do on their parenting time. I'm just like slyly asking because I have a situation where we both sign them up for something at without talking. I'm going to defend myself here and I'm going to tell you why. And the trolls can decide because they can be the jury, the court of public opinion. I did not sign him up right away. It was tryouts. So there was a tryout.

I did not tell the other parent because it was just tryouts. And then if they didn't make the team, it was sort of a moot point. I think that is where I fucked up. I should have said, hey, he is trying out just so you know, that's what I should have said. Yep. We find out, I find out said parent signed him up for another sport that will overlap a little bit for a few weeks. It's not the full season, but it will overlap a little bit demands that I'm there every single week on my weeks, but tells me he is not committing and not participating. Now that my, now that our child has made the soccer team, he said he is not committing to soccer. It interferes with his time, et cetera, et cetera. So why does that only apply to one of us, but it doesn't apply to both of us? And I'm, I'm only defending my side for the

part that I did not tell him about the tryouts, but it just, I felt like I didn't want to argue. I didn't want to go through that whole thing unless he made the team and then we could talk about it. So at that point, I'm still going to take him to the other sport because it's like, whatever, I'm not going to fucking argue with you. We both didn't talk to each other, but like at what point do is there an actual argument because you're demanding that I'm there on my weeks, but I'm not allowed to demand you to be there for the other sport on your weeks. Yeah, see, that doesn't work for me because that creates chaos for the child ultimately.

And I think that people don't look at stuff that way. I think they so selfishly get in a situation where it becomes more important for them to argue and stand their ground to the other parent than it is the importance is not there to them for the consistency for the child. And that's bothersome. What if hypothetically, I just said, I'm not taking Jackson to basketball games on my weekend because that's my parenting time. Well, that's what was said to me.

That is what was said to me. Then why are they signed up? I got, unfortunately got the basketball schedule. The day that I sent it to the other parent is the day that I got it. That is the day that I got it period, point blank. I didn't wait to send it. I wasn't being a dick. Like that is the day I got it. That is the day that I got it. Period. Point blank. I didn't wait to send it. I wasn't being a dick. That is the day I got it." His response was that because it was only a week

notice, he's not committing and will not be participating and not taking him on his weeks. Yeah. That's just not going to ever work. Okay. I'm sorry for you. I would love to ask you about this listener topic because I know that your kids cuss. No, they don't anymore. They're not cussers anymore. No, I don't allow that. In fact, if they start, I'm like, oh no, we're not doing that. It's

not cute, right? It was cute when they were toddlers. It's not cute when they're small children. I think when they're toddlers, I think it's funny because they don't really know what they're saying. Small children, Lux and Creed do not need to be cussing. Okay. So this person says, my eight year old daughter asked for some advice and I honestly struggled to help navigating social settings. She said one of her best friends at school swears a lot even when she asked her to stop. We swear at home, but we tell our daughter that they are adult words. I'm torn because they're just words, but we have to navigate meanings. I do my best not to

swear around my daughter because she has expressed that she does not like it. Also added the fact that I want my daughter to navigate friendships better, but I don't know how to navigate it. Advice. Sterling recently said something to me on a podcast on Barely Famous. She said something along the lines. It was similar to this, right? And she's an adult. And she was like, it doesn't sound good. It doesn't enhance her. It doesn't make her sound better. It doesn't make her sound cute. It doesn't. And so she really scaled back the cussing. And I would like to say that I've done the same, just scale back a little bit. I've also said to my kids,

it's not cute. It's not funny anymore. Let let's, let's chill. You know what I mean? I don't know how to navigate this one because all you can do is exactly what you're already doing and you can't make someone stop cussing like her friend at school. You can't make her stop cussing. I don't know. I don't know what the advice is here. I feel like the best advice is if you genuinely do not like someone's actions that much and they're not stopping and you've already addressed it, then maybe the best thing is to play with someone else. Yeah.

And sometimes, unfortunately, you have to learn the hard way or you have to do said thing to decide, okay, this isn't for me or I do need to change my ways. This wasn't a good idea, right? Like you have to learn the hard way. I think you're right. If your daughter doesn't like how much her friend cusses, then maybe it's time to move on from that friend. It is actually really hard to... It's easy to give advice about someone else's child, but when your child is in a situation, sometimes you find yourself like pausing, not knowing exactly what the advice is to give, right?

Yeah. It's easier to give it to somebody else than give it your own. It's always easier said than done, too, and the situation isn't yours. It's sort of like when you are ignoring red flags in your own life, but you see them so clearly in someone else's situation.

It's like, I don't know how to describe it. I keep I'm in a similar situation. It's not similar sort of I don't know. One of my kids has this girl bully, and I'm just so annoyed because the teacher said something, my child has said something. And I keep telling him I said, then stop being friends with her. You can be kind to her and not be friends with her and not play with her. But like, it's to the point where it's enough is enough. And like what you can't, I can only tell him what I can tell him. She can only tell her friend what she can, you know what I mean? I know that Jackson's had very minimal, thank goodness, knock on wood, minimal situations where I've had to mitigate anything. There have been certain times when I've been a volunteer at the school that I

will pick up on certain children's behaviors that I know that he associates with. There have also been times in those situations where I will wait until he gets home and I will have a conversation with him and say, I saw so and so doing this or acting this way, and I don't like that. So if that's going to become an issue, and you're going to pick up some of those habits, then I suggest that you find another friend because that is not appropriate. Agreed. Agreed. It's so hard. It's so freaking hard. And like what girls are big, way bigger bullies than boys. Three of my kids have had girl bullies that are in like non stop. Yep. It's a it's a big

time situation. And on that note, we've got foul play. I'm a bus driver for my kids school district. I ate Mexican takeout one night and needless to say it caught up to me the following day. I broke out in a sweat on the way to school to pick up 35 kids on my bus. I threw the bus in park in front of a porta potty as the kids all stared at me in confusion. As I ran to let loose my son yelled in front of everyone, teachers and all, I think my mom has to poop. As I pulled up to the school, everyone was in the hysterics and the teacher proceeded to tell me what he said. As the kids were boarding my bus, my one year old who also

ate some of the food the night before completely exploded in her car seat. Let's just say it was a long smelly ride home for the kiddos. PS as a bus driver, you cannot under any circumstances leave the kids unattended. So you literally have to shit yourself and keep rolling. Call the mechanics to come power wash the bus after your run. Love you, kitties. Okay. So I could never be a bus driver for the sole fact that they would sue me for bodily fluids. 1000% and I have always thought like, what happens in a situation where there is like an emergent situation with said bus driver also yesterday, when I

got Jackson off the bus, I look at my clock every single time he gets dropped off. And it's like to the minute that the bus driver drops him off. How are they so punctual? Like down to the minute? Well, I think once you have a I mean mean that is true because traffic varies on a day to day basis. Yeah. That is so interesting.

I've had sort of an issue with Isaac's bus has not picked him up three times. So which puts us out. Yeah. What? Because the way that school choice works here and because he goes to a vocational school, it's not a, it's like he gets the bus at six in the morning. So it's like super, super early. It's not like a typical route. Like she has to go through different towns or whatever, but she keeps forgetting him. And then it's pissing me off because then we have to, I saw my kids go

to school in opposite directions. So I got to go this way. And then Elijah's got to stop what he's doing and take him this way. So it's just, it's a lot. So with school choice, they even have bus transportation to get the kids to school? For high school. So Isaac had to apply to get into his high school. He got in. So schools like that, yes.

But if you like my other kids that I school choice, I have to drive them. They don't provide transportation. But for Isaac's school that he applied to, because anyone can go there from any district, they can get busing. That's so interesting. Yeah. I'm sorry that you have so many kids in so many areas to go to. No, I truly, I love it here. I don't care. No, you don't.

No, no, no. I meant like I love like all the kids is what I meant. Yes. Not necessarily the location. All right. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app. Follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us

and our community. We hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. Hey moms, have you ever felt like there's more to motherhood than what we're told? and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. Hey moms, have you ever felt like there's more to motherhood than what we're told? Then you need to check out our podcast, Moms Ask Why. Hosted by Chelsea Jules and Brittany Whitney, Moms Ask Why dives deep into the tough questions

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