Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Have Some Couth!

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

CC446: Kail and Lindsie have some beef with holiday consumerism, where Christmas decorations appear before Thanksgiving, and the struggle of saying no to their children's wants versus needs. Kail has some thoughts on the outrage surrounding Kendall Jenner's comments about Caitlyn Jenner, dissecting why people care so deeply about issues that don't affect their day-to-day lives. Lindsie shares the difference in sleeping naked versus in pajamas, and Kail defends her use of her Apple Watch. Lastly, they discuss the difficulties of maintaining connections, and a shared frustration with "small talk" and the constant communication brought by modern technology. Today's Foul Play is for those who hate butt stuff!Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.Booking.com: Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today!Boulevard: Book a demo at joinBLVD.com and get 20% off your first year subscription!Honey Love: Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/CoffeeProgressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more!Quince: Go to Quince.com/coffee to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next orderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on booking.com. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Crissly. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attached. I feel. by you a spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Good morning. I, I'm here. I'm here. I'm ready. Welcome to Coffee Convo's podcast. I look road hard and put up wet. You look you. Like, you look out effortlessly, like,

put together. Like, you know how, like, that little bit of, like, what is the word tousel? Tossel. Yeah. Like, you look like cute. Wait, there's a couple things I need to talk to you about. Okay, well, there's a bone that I need to pick with the entire nation. Okay. I thought you were going to say with me and I'm like, I don't have the capacity right now, but if it's the entire nation, I do want to hear this. It's the entire fucking nation. I am really fucking sick and tired of going to the store and seeing another holiday when the first holiday didn't pass. Lindsay, that's been going on for all of time. So like, I know.

I'm just saying, like, as a consumer and an adult, I probably liked it whenever I was a kid, but I'm sorry, like, when it's Halloween and you see Christmas stuff and they've completely missed Thanksgiving, like, I need to see like fall foliage stuff. Like, I don't need to see Christmas trees. And why am I logging online, which I don't. really like do that much anymore but like why am i going on instagram and seeing people already having christmas trees up and it was halloween i did notice that a lot more people and maybe i just wasn't paying attention in the past more and more people are taking their Halloween stuff down on

november first and immediately decorating for christmas which whatever i don't give a fuck i don't want to see any of it to be honest i'm a fucking grinch as you guys all know like don't fucking bother me about the holidays. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to participate. I'm upset. When I tell you, my neighbors, they're just like next level. They had all the Halloween decorations out. Like, we went from full-blown, like, eight-foot skellies to now we have fall stuff out the next day. And like, I don't know when they did it. I swear to you, I left my house on freaking Halloween. And I came home and it was like fall blew up at their house. Like, were they doing this in the middle of the night?

Like, when did this happen? So when we went to Disney last year and we went over, like, we went for Halloween. And then when we woke up on November 1st, Disney did the whole transition from Halloween to Christmas. I'm assuming overnight. And that was really cool to see. I just, like, in Kale's Grinchmas, I like, I like to know that other people are doing that. And it's not, it has nothing to do with me. Like, whatever.

Like, I will say, though, I do think social media is making it worse. Social media is definitely making it worse. And I do think that a lot of like the influencers who are like linking all of the shit to buy, they're putting all the stuff up early so people can get it, you know? So I do understand like the mindset behind that. It's just why do I need to see a Christmas tree and twinkling lights in my living room? in November. To each their own.

Kristen said, welcome to consumerism. And I'm going to go ahead and reintroduce no by November except for one pair of Lulu Levens. That's it. Have you bought anything yet in November? Because I feel like you have. No, but I... Here's the thing. And I'm struggling with this.

This is definitely a first world problem. and it might be a nice problem for some people, but for me, it's not. I don't know how to say no to my children. You know, that's a really hard thing for me to do as well. I saw like a meme the other day and it was like we have approached the time of year where it's like put it on your Christmas list. I don't really know how I feel about that because, I mean, I'm being asked for like a $25 Roblox card, you know?

So it's like, are we waiting for the stocking to do that? See, Creed asked me yesterday when I dropped him off at school If I could buy him jeans and long sleeve shirts And it's like Okay, so are we the parents that give clothes for Christmas Because I was a kid who received clothes for Christmas And I loved it I think that's more like a girl thing

Jackson would probably lose his shit if he got clothes for Christmas He's like, where's the toys? I don't do Christmas gifts, so that doesn't apply here. It's more so like you have pants and long sleeve shirts, but you want new ones. You don't need them. So when you're asking me, if I'm buying anything, it's like, did the kids need new cleats? Not really. But I'm going to provide them anyway because they want them.

And that's not okay either. So I'm like, I need to find a happy medium because I don't do Christmas. So it's not like I can say go put it on your Christmas list. But then also you don't necessarily need the shit anyways. So it's like, do I need to get it? No, it's just like healing an inner child kale. I don't fucking know. I just need to get back to like the consumerism thing because I can't get over it.

Like, why did I feel peer pressure to throw away like all my pumpkins and like take down like signage at my house that looked too like pumpkiny? Because everybody else doesn't happen anymore. I have to show you this video that went viral. to Christmas, unrelated to consumerism, but that is, I put on my list to talk to you about. Wait, is this, Caitlin Jenner? This is Caitlin Jenner, but it's not the Chris and Caitlin conversation. It's what Kendall Jenner says that people are so upset about, and I want to dissect it. Okay.

House, even if it fires at the bottom of the hill. Oh, what are you going to do? Sit there with the hose? Never mind, don't answer that. I already know the answer. Yeah, you are. My house is not going to burn. I have to compartmentalize my relationship with my dad in a way because I love her.

She's my dad. Like, we have a good relationship. But sometimes I get frustrated with her with certain things because we just have completely different views on things. I'm not leaving my house even if... So in this clip, Kendall Jenner says, I love her. She's my dad. Okay? Mm-hmm.

Bruce Jenner becoming Caitlin Jenner. I don't give a fuck. I really don't. It has nothing to do with me. I don't care if she likes men. I don't care if she likes women. I don't care if she identifies as Tom Dick or Harry or Bruce or Caitlin. I don't give a fuck. People are ripping them to shreds in the comments because they're saying she's my dad. I love her. Are we really normalizing saying she's my dad? I love her. I can't wrap my head around people carrying that much when it does not affect them. And like at the end of the day, gender roles and genders themselves are like social constructs. And I like truly don't give one single fuck. But people are like ripping them to shreds. A woman cannot be your dad. He is your dad. When you think you've heard everything, quote, she's my dad.

What a crazy world we live in. He is your dad. Not she. All these people confused. But like I don't understand why everyone is just upset about. this has nothing to do with you this has nothing to do with your family or how like what is the problem i think the problem is is that everybody has been made to think because of social media that they need to have an opinion about everything and there's some things that you just do not

need to have an opinion on and that would be one of them people do not have any idea what went on behind closed doors with that family and how they have processed that entire situation, and two things can be true. Bruce transitioned to Caitlin, and regardless, that is still those girls' dad. I just find it so fascinating that we really care so deeply about things that do not impact our day-to-day lives whatsoever. And in fact, you could unfollow all of the Jenners and all of the Kardashians and never look at their content ever again, and you could go on about your life without having these, like, really, like, emotionally charged opinion.

But I think that the part that we're missing here is that the, I would say the majority of people are the people who have either followed them or they just, regardless if they're following them for good reason or not, they're trolling on the internet. We can have the perspective that we have because not in the same way, but have dealt with public scrutiny too. Yeah, 1,000%. I mean, you know, so we have the, the thoughts of we see comments that come to us and we're like, why would somebody care? Like, why would?

And so we don't care about what other people are doing because we don't want people to necessarily care about what we're doing. But at the same time, it's like, care, but like, please don't. Care, but also not so much that it affects your day to day. Right. Yeah, I feel like that's a happy medium, medium care enough, but not so much that it's, I don't know. It's like people are riding so hard. I just looked at what you sent me. And people are writing so hard on their commitments to that clip.

It's like maybe put that energy into something that you're doing in your personal life and be less focused on what somebody else is doing. I just don't get it. That was my bag. That was my butt. I didn't fart. I just kicked something in my bag. I mean, probably farted.

Remember when you farted in that call? I never, Lindsay, I'm so glad that you brought that up. Like, you know what? It wouldn't be a coffee combo's anniversary timeframe if you didn't bring that up. Remember the time you also admitted that you made it up and I never farted in the closet? Do you remember that? Okay, I don't like burps, farts, like none of that stuff. I understand it's like a normal human thing. Like, we all do it. I get it. My 12 year old child getting in the car and waiting until he gets in the car and I am a trapped vehicle and now it's cold enough to where we need to run the heat and the seat heaters are on and now your fart is fucking marinating in my seat. No. So I told Jackson when we left

basketball practice, he has, you know, been running around for a solid hour playing basketball and it's like, did your farts not come out when you were doing that? Like, why did you wait until you got into my Bronco with a seat heater on and then shit yourself? Like, why is that happening? Okay. So I told him, I was like, hey, if you do that again and you fart on me, then you're getting out of the car and you're walking. So, of course, a couple of minutes go by, I start smelling a heat marinating fart. So I pull over on the side of the road, put my flashers on, and I go, get out. Get out.

I drove all the way from one red light to another, probably like, quarter. of a mile. I made him, I had my flashers on and I was driving slow making him run down the road. And I said, you will not fart on me in my vehicle. Like, it is so rude. And ultimately, like, I'm raising somebody's husband one day. And if you think that I'm going to subject some poor, innocent person to you just thinking it's normal to rip ass with a seat heater on, like, no. I love that. Because you are absolutely, you are raising someone's life partner. Yes. Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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purchase lots of things for myself from there. It's just such a great website. If you guys have not check them out. Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, looked polish, and last from Quince, perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself, go to quince.com slash coffee for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's QI-N-C-E.com slash coffee to get free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash coffee. You know what? Here's the thing. If you, if you are farting and they don't stink, it's not horrible, right? I've told you this before. I know which kid farted. Like, I know a creed fart and I know.

Oh, he was grand. Like, you know the smell. 1,000 percent. And so that is, I love that you made him get out because it's giving when I lied to Creed and told him if he doesn't wash his butt with a wash cloth and worms will come out of his life. Right. And so I am now like on this path of your, your, your, you're. nearing 13 years old, okay? And eventually you will have a girlfriend and it's probably coming sooner than what I want to believe. Okay. Why would you think it's normal to sit in a car and fucking blow this thing up and everybody has to smell it? Because you have no control of your bowels. Okay. That pisses me off. Really pisses me off. Have some cooth. Yes, you do need to have some cooth. So now I have, just gone on a tear where I'm like, okay, eventually you're going to have a wife one day,

so can you wash the toothpaste out of the sink? Because that's something that you guys might get in a fight over, you know? Hang up your towel. Don't leave your dirty draws like laying around your bedroom. I just got a text. The text says it's better out and feel the shame than in and feel the pain. No, I want you to feel the pain because I don't want to smell what's coming out. I will tell you that the other night, I woke up in the middle of the night. I don't fart during the day. Like, I just don't. I will fart in my sleep and I don't want to know about it. Okay. I just, that's just the way that I operate. So in the middle of the night, I woke up and I felt the gas bubbles in my stomach. Like, I felt them expanding. And I was in so much pain. And I just didn't

fart and I just went back to sleep. And I wish that I could fart regularly. Okay. So one time, it was like one of my last vacation. It actually was my last vacation. It actually was my last vacation with Will. And I think it was the point that I just didn't care anymore. You know, it was like giving, I don't give a shit literally. Just riding down the road in his truck and I'm sleeping and just farting. And I'm like, why am I doing that? Like, like waking myself up, okay? Like, just riding your relationship and you wake yourself up from a fart in your sleep. yes and it's like what happened like no people ever know here no you don't i don't know how we get there we just do so can you can we dive deeper into like you don't fart in the day but you fart at night

like that's not normal really no like what are you doing holding in your farts all day so then you just have to rip ass when you go to bed no i really don't have to fart during the day so you feel like your farts are on a scheduled situation. Yeah. They're like, oh, it's night. Now I can do it. Yeah, it's like my subconscious mind, like, lets me do it while I'm sleeping. And what I don't, what I don't know won't hurt me.

You know what I mean? Okay, but I need to tell you some... Wait, do you sleep with clothes on, though? Well, depends. Like, if Jackson's home on the days that I have him, I sleep with PJs. If he's not naked. Okay, so when you get into a new relationship and you are about to sleep in the same bed for the first time, are you sleeping naked with them on the first time? Probably because if I've made it to the point that I would be sleeping with them at all, then, yeah.

Take me as I am. Yeah, just this is what it is. Like, I'm not trying to be wrapped up into some pair of pajamas that are twisted and uncomfortable. Okay, that's fair. I can get behind it. But it's crazy because I was so. against the, like, naked sleepers whenever I was married. Actually, I had this conversation with Will not too long ago.

He's like, at what point of your life did you start sleeping naked? And I'm like, I don't know, at the point that I realized it was more comfortable because I did it one time. And then I was like, okay, yeah, like, I see the thrill. You know, like, I get it. Yeah, you can see that. My argument when we were married was Jackson would always come into our room at night. So if I needed to get up and never failed, it would always. always be my side of the bed. And I wanted to put them in the bed and I'm butt-ass naked,

you know, kind of not appropriate. So I would sleep with PJs on. Also, one of my arguments was if the house caught on fire and you needed to get out, like, what are the naked sleepers doing? That's a great question, actually. But I guess clothes are by your bed and on the floor, but like before you hop into bed, maybe you just grab them and go kind of deal. Yeah, but I'm sorry. I just hate to tell you that if my house caught on fire and I'm naked, I'm going out naked. Like, I'm not worried about trying to fiddle around to put on a pair of pajama pants. Well, at that point, I'm like taking them and running.

You know what I mean? Like, I got to just do my... First of all, picturing me running in it of itself is like a nightmare. For someone to see me trying to like get my clothes on while running would be an Olympic whole production. Wait, so do your kids sleep naked? No, everybody sleeps with clothes on. Except you? No, I sleep with clothes on too.

There is nothing, there is no better feeling. Like, taking a good hot, like hot girl shower and washing all of the crevices and shit, putting on some very thick lotion doing your skin care and hopping in those clean sheets with no clothes on. I can honestly say that for the past three weeks, my sheets have been covered in crumbs. because the twins and Rio bring snacks into my bed, and then I'm, I'm, like, fighting for my life. Crumbs is, like, one hill that I'm going to die on that I will kill something. Like, you put crumbs in my bed, and now they're in my ass crack because they were a part of my sheets. No.

Like, no. Also, really quickly, how's your Apple Watch situation going? I hadn't worn it in like two months. Okay, because I remember a couple months ago we were having a conversation about being Apple Watch wearers again? Yeah, I actually thought about it yesterday because I was cleaning out my car and it was just like hanging out in the back of my car for what reason I have no idea. I mean, you are just, you really are loving the prints. I got this in a 10 pack on Amazon and it's like all different prints. Did you match that specifically to your shirt today?

No, actually. I didn't, I didn't mean to do that at all. I don't know. It's just like a hassle kind of. Like I feel like that's one of the things that you have to like train yourself to do like as part of your daily routine. You know, like plug your phone up at night. You plug your Apple Watch up. You take a shower. You get both of those things off of your bedside table. I just not have not arrived at that point yet. And I need to do it because I'm paying for the plan for the Apple Watch. You know what I mean? Oh, do I pay for this? Do you think you're wearing that freak? Yeah, I thought I bought it at the store, and that's it. No, you probably did buy the Apple Watch at the store, but like, does it have service? Well, how do I know if it has service? Well, do you get calls on it? I don't know. Call me.

Oh, my God. Are you freaking kidding me right now? I don't think I pay for this. Kiel, then who does? I think this just is like you buy it and then you... No, my watch is ringing. Let me see if I can answer it. Hello?

Oh, sure. I can. so i think it's like a wi-fi bluetooth situation you like add it to your plan no no you have it completely that apple watch has a different line and it sinks i'm pretty sure to like your main line and then you can get calls on that like is yours the apple watch where you can like have your phone at home and you're you'll be like out and about you go into the store or something and your phone your watch still rings? I don't think so. Well, Kristen is saying that it's a line on your cell plan and it is a line. So yes, you have those capabilities. So I'm just very concerned,

like what you're wearing the Apple Watch for. If you didn't know that you number one were paying for an additional line. And number two, like, what are you using it for? I'm using it to track my rings. I want to know if I steps in during the day. Okay, so you should have a Fitbit. I'm not using a fucking Fitbit. I don't want to plug something up every night to like check on the, no, like, this is fine because I just like slap it on the charger, but like I can look at my rings every day. On a Fitbit, I don't think you can see it. I think you have to plug it up to like see it. You don't. Because since I did you take it edible? Like, I'm a fucking tired bitch right now.

Like, so you think that people are just strolling around this world wearing a Fitbit and they can't see like the amount of steps like on their thing unless they plug it in. I think when Fitbit's first came out, that's how it was. Yeah, because I don't think that they had like a screen or whatever when they first came out. So yes. But I mean, we're circa almost 2026, honey. Like we're way past those times. Like on my, they have, they collabed with Nike.

So this like little background has Nike and I have like the weather on here. And then like if I click on my rings, I can see where I'm at all the time, like all the time. Like I can see my days. So I'm like just like I want to see the days. What do you mean? I like like out. Oh, you mean like your rings like throughout the days like. Yeah.

like my how many steps did I get in today versus yesterday how many things do I have going on at one time so wait what is your step goal for the day like every day so my step count what is d what is d WM Y day week month year okay so week uh I got virtually nothing in yesterday oh I got a lot more in yesterday than I did today but like I'm nowhere where I need to be because everything I do is mostly sedentary and I haven't really been getting on my bicycle so I need to do better. Wait, like you have like a two-wheel bike? I went to Dix and I purchased a bicycle. For what? Like where are you going? Lindsay, I've been on really good bike rides. Okay. Wait, are you the person that has the bike rack on your car? No, but if I did, you would catch me riding

dirty all over this bitch. Like, I always see cars that have the bike racks on them and I'm like, that seems excessive. Like, I love it for them, but it just like seems like a lot of work. I haven't been able to get on a bike ride lately and it sucks. But listen, get your Apple Watch back into your life so that we can share activity with each other because you can invite a friend to like see each other's stuff. Wait, what is Kristen doing? What is happening?

Wait, this is you on your... I got a fucking bike, bro. I got a bike. Who the fuck do I think I am? Honestly, my legs are hurting worse than I thought. Oh, shit. I'm running over horse poop. Brand new bike went through the poop.

This is day two of bike riding. I also have my period, so it's not a great time. And my butt hurts from yesterday. I need to order a second. seat like a cushion or something okay post bike ride day two okay got a new seat for this bitch oh my god oh my god I'm great through all the time that one was hard wait wait So at what point of your life did you wake up and you were like, I need to go to Dix and buy a bike?

And I made that my whole personality for like a month. So wait, it lasted past day two? Oh, yeah. The content that we have of you successfully riding a bike. No, it lasted a little bit longer than that. But what had happened was I started flying all over the country. And so we got out of the routine. So I just need to get back in the routine because I don't think it's going to snow.

here anytime soon. So like there's no reason why I can't put like a beanie on. Okay. And then just ride dirty on the bike. Do you know what I mean? You know, I kind of love that for you. I think 10,000 steps is like the average. Yeah, I got 1,500 yesterday. So anyways, Lindsay, when you come to Delaware, you can borrow my bike. I mean, I need some mode of transportation. I need to talk to you about this. So do I need to like buy? like a motorized scooter or something and leave it there because I just don't feel comfortable not being able to go anywhere. You know what I mean?

Like you feel like you're a hostage. Like when you go somewhere and you're there for days and you don't have a vehicle to like get around or like any means to do anything and you're just so reliant on like DoorDash and like Uber Eats and you never see the outside of the walls. Like what do you do in situations like that? I'm basically becoming a dual resident. Oh, okay. Okay, cool. Well, we have, like, lots of tax breaks here. So that'd be good for them. Well, I mean, I won't be spending enough time to be able to get any type of tax breaks, like, legally. You know what I mean? Oh, wait, I do have to ask you, um, at your house, so like birds fly into your windows and kill themselves?

No, I have never experienced a bird flying into my home windows and dying and killing itself. I don't think that I can see. I honestly don't think that's ever happened to me. Okay, so I would have some days to myself, but I can't say that any birds have done it. Okay, so I find dead birds at my house all the time, like on my back porch. And here's the problem that I'm experiencing. They fly into my, like sliding glass doors, okay? And it's almost like, and it's on my patio. And I don't know if they're taking shifts like while they're doing it.

like they're they're shitting and then flying and then shitting and then flying but it's causing a major disruption to my decor outside but also I don't want birds just like unnecessarily dying like why are you doing this to yourself and I'm sure it's because they see their reflection like in the thing so they think that it's like another bird which you know is like all good and fine but but how do we stop this you screen in your patio no I'm definitely not doing that because then that affects my view. So, and that's also another expense that I'm just, like, not willing to splurge on, you know, screened in anything. So, like, how do we get the birds to stop doing that?

Try saran wrap. Wait, what? What am I saran wrapping? Around your patio. If you don't want to pay for the screening, just put saran wrap. Do you know how awful that will look? I do. So why would you tell me to do that?

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chamber like for hours out of the day and she has learned to become a multitasker like while she's doing said hyperbaric chamber hanging out and I would love to do that she claims that she's never had any like filler Botox anything she's just like a hyperbaric chamber early and I'm like okay I could like really get behind the movement of hyperbaric chamber my problem is is that saunas and hyperbaric chambers are so time consuming like what the fuck are we doing in there reading our kindle yeah I'm wondering I don't know what a hyperbaric chamber is but for a sauna I don't know if a kindle would survive in there I'm not entirely sure but I think you could listen to like an audiobook maybe um here's the thing people and this trying to follow the bouncing ball here

because I get I do get frustrated because I feel like people are like oh how do you have this much time to read. How do you have this much time? How do you have this much time? We are scrolling on our phone so much. We are watching so much TV. If you literally replace 30 minutes of scrolling with 30 minutes in a sauna or 30 minutes in the gym, like maybe not the gym, because that's, that is actually unrealistic. 30 minutes reading, 30 minutes in a sauna, 30 minutes in the bath. Like that is more realistic to me. And so I just feel like we could scroll on our phone in the sauna. You could read the Kindle in the sauna? The only way I could justify like sauna sitting on a a daily or weekly basis is if I was like multitasking. So if I was doing some if I was productively getting

something else done while I was doing that because it seems so time consuming that like I would feel just like a hump a lump. Like why am I wasting like one hour sitting in a sauna and I got nothing else done? Like I need to have phone conversations. I need to talk shit. I need to talk shit. I need to order stuff. I need to possibly do my grocery shopping for curbside pickup. I need to do all of this while I'm also doing that hour trying to prevent myself from having cancer. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like I can't justify. Like if I go to the gym, for example, I can't do this at Pilates because it's like no phone policy in there. Okay. So the hour is literally the hour and I'm just doing Pilates, whatever. I've become accustomed to it. If I go to the regular gym, then I'm going to need to. to do like the bike and I'm going to need to be reading while I'm on the bike or I'm going to be

on a phone conversation for people that I've ignored for like five days. Is Kristen one of them? Ignored her? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do we think, speaking of ignoring, do we think that that's like a trauma response?

Kristen goes, wow, bye. I don't know. I think because I do wonder, like, I do ignore people. not on purpose but like I do let messages go unread and not respond and I by unread I mean I read it and didn't respond um unrespond unreplied to I don't think it's a trauma response so much as a capacity response I do not have the capacity for this right now um I read it I forgot to reply it's not that important to me um and that's unfortunate because the other person is probably just looking for a connection, but this goes back to a conversation I feel like

I had with you like probably a year ago at this point. We only have the capacity to remember. It was January of this year. Oh, really? Yeah, it was the start of the new year. Like, we as humans only have the capacity to maintain up to 200 relationships. And as a human being, I already have nine in my own household. So I'm not responding. It's not because I don't care. It's not because I don't love you. It's just that I do not have the capacity. No, ma'am. What human is maintaining 200 relationships? I'm going to venture out and say nobody that's listening to this podcast and nobody that's talking on this podcast has 200 relationships that they are maintaining. And describe maintenance because there is no way. By person, I,

think Becky is somebody that I think of often when it comes to relationships is like she puts her all into almost every relationship she has. Like her wife, obviously her son, all of her family, all of her friends. Like she has like very, very deep connections with all the people in her life. And I wish that I was like that. But a lot of people that I genuinely care about, like innately, deeply care about have become very surface level because I don't. have the capacity to like really maintain anything deeper than surface level and it sucks but it's also like I'm only one person and I already have seven people in like seven children plus all their dads you know what I mean plus like you and Becky and Kristen and my I have like employees and

my you know I don't know but I would say that there are people that have 200 relationships that they're maintaining that's just insane to me that number seems very wild there's probably and Kristen can maybe correct me if I'm wrong, there's maybe five people that, like, I maintain a relationship with, like in totality. But see, I don't know if we're looking at it the same way

because like think about somebody in, I feel like that's accurate and then you disappear. I think about people who work in corporate. There's five to 10 people within their job that they have to have like connections with day to day outside of work but related to work. And so you're maintaining that connection and then your familial connections and then your friendships. And then your kids' teachers, you have to remain, you have to maintain some level of conversation and open communication with them.

So it's like it's not a relationship. And like maybe we're looking at it completely different because I'm like, that's a, that's a requirement, right? But for us, you and I, our work relationships are also our friends. And so that is really difficult too because it's like Kristen just responded and said work connections are maintained by work. That's like automated. But I would beg to differ because Kristen is a real friend of mine and also works with me. Alessandra is an actual friend of mine and works with me. Kayla is a real friend and actually works with me.

So it's like it sounds good, but like these are real connections I have to maintain. And then I have relationships with Corey, which is Kristen's husband. and I have a relationship with like Becky, but I also am friends with her wife. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's like there, the levels of the maintaining are different, but there's still 200. But I think where we're on completely different playing fields about this is like legitimately when I tell you, Kristen says that she believes it's accurate and then I disappear like five people. So how would, I guess how would you classify, we'll say, a relationship with.

Jackson's teacher. Like how often would you do you talk to Jackson's teacher? Like I have like great care for his teachers. Like they're educating him and he's with him for such a long period of the day, right? But it's also transactional. Like you're his teacher and I'm his mom. So it's like they communicate what they need to communicate and I'm responsive to whatever the communication is. But then I like move on about my day. So you don't consider that one of like what would be the two. 100. No. So it's up to 200. And then in addition to that is like other relations. I just don't like, I'm thinking about one person in particular. And I'm like, okay, I have cared for this person. I have shared information with this person. But like, if she texted me today, I'm not responding.

I probably won't respond for. I probably won't ever respond again, to be honest. Is it because the, the connection just like fizzled out or you was like, like, I don't like that person. It feels like a relationship that I have to, what is it, high maintenance, a high maintenance relationship that I don't have the capacity for. It's just interesting. Like phases of our life require different types of relationships, right? And so where you might have had the capacity for that relationship at one point, you no longer hold the capacity now. And it's okay. But I think a lot of people, because I, my cutoff game, very strong. And I do think that that is somewhat a trauma response. I learned that very early on in life. And I've been able to successfully do that. Like if I'm not, if I feel like the relationship with you is one not serving me. And because it's not serving me, I can't serve you. Then I'm doing a disservice to you to like take up space in your work.

world. I agree with that. I wholeheartedly agree with that. I just, I just don't have, and it sucks because it's like, I care about people that I just don't have the room for, if that makes sense. And I also hate surface level conversations. I don't want to fill the silence with small talk. It's not where I don't have, I don't even want to listen to music anymore because I just need silence. And I don't, I need. space for myself when I don't have it's because we live in a world where we're so overstimulated by so many things and you've got to consider for you you've got seven kids that they're overstimulated and you're overstimulated I can definitely get behind the let's just sit in silence I have told three different people that I've been in relationships with don't text me small talk like it's almost like okay so I told one of my ex-boyfriends I mean it was you could tell it was like trying to engage right so i don't think he was intending to come off surface in the way that he was coming off but it's like lose my shit i'm like it's

basically like you asking me how's the weather and you have a fucking app you can look at don't care how your day was you know whose day i care about i care about my own fucking day And I care about my kids' day. And I want to know if my kid had a great day or not. I do not care about another adult's day right now. In this phase of my life in 2025, I don't know if it's because I'm burnout. I don't know if it's because of the fucking political and economical, is economical word.

Economic climate. I don't have it in me. Please shut the fuck up. Okay. I will say, too, that... relationships that I have been in and I'm talking about like boyfriends that I've had. Okay. I don't want to text you all day long because now when I am with you and I'm, you know,

carving out time in the evening to be with you, we've already said everything that needs to be said throughout the day, whether that be over the phone or over text messages. Now you've pissed me the fuck off. Yep. And like there's actually no reason for me to meet you for dinner because I know everything that I need to know. So what am I doing here? No, I could not agree more. And I think that we might get some backlash from this conversation, but I, when Elijah and I were together, I set a precedent very early on. Do not call me. Don't call me. I don't want to talk to you about my day. I will talk to you

when I see you. Like, we will have a conversation in person. I don't need to text you all day. I don't need to be on the phone with you all day. I wasn't mature because, yes, I'm sure we will get heat. But I feel like that's such a mature awareness that I feel like we both have. I don't care to shoot the shit with you over text message or you to call me and be like, hey, what's up? I also- Not you. Like, not you.

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subscription. That's J-O-I-N-B-L-V-D.com to learn more. I don't really want to be on my phone like that any like I always have my phone but I don't always want to be on my phone so I don't want to be texting and texting and texting and calling and whatever and like to each their own if there are people listening to this podcast who love talking with their husband or their wife all day and then come home and they still talk to them if that worked for you I'm happy for you but I'm miserable right now I'm fighting for my life because of the chaos. Like, I don't, I don't have it in me to entertain conversations with somebody all day long. I just wonder the people that would agree that it takes away from the in-person communication and relational aspects that you have with someone if you are in constant communication. Because I think that this world with technology, it has made it so easily accessible for everyone to know everything about everyone all day long, whether that be text message. sharing reels and shit over Instagram as a form of communication,

looking at people's stories, picking up the phone, calling them. What the fuck are we doing? For what do we need to do that? When I'm on my phone scrolling, like if I'm ever scrolling, I send Kristen a lot of like bullshit reels to her Instagram. And I had needed her to look at something in her DMs. I was like, hey, I'm sending you something in your DMs. I really need you to take a look at it.

And she opens it and she said, you've sent me like 15 different real because it's just like I might not talk to her on the phone all day, but I'm thinking of her. So I'm going to send her a reel. I don't care if she ever sees it. Just know I thought of you that day. You know what I mean? Like I don't have it. Like we don't have a conversation about it. I don't care if you saw it a two weeks later. Like I don't have. The rules that we send back and forth are like, are you okay? No. Are you okay? No. Okay. Bye. Like. No, we're not okay. Glad that we're all unwell. Like, something, something is definitely wrong with, like, this world. Kristen says it's great when I look through it, it threw it eight months apart. Yeah, so, like, all my DMs that I've sent her. And then, like, eight months later, she'll go look again and be like, oh, damn, like, sorry, I miss these. And Kail's, like, secretly sitting at home, like, I knew that bitch wasn't my friend.

Like, I knew she hated me all along. I know I get on her nerves. Like, what the fuck? I also definitely feel like, so I told you that I took Jackson's phone. Will and I made that decision a little bit ago because also the extreme access that these kids today feel like they need to have with everyone. Like I liked it back in the time when he did not have a cell phone. So when he came home, he was completely disconnected from anything that he like knew from school. So we didn't have social media. We didn't have the phone. These kids today, like why do they send

this Snapchat world like I know that you're on snap like I get it I'm not trying to make fun of you it's just I don't understand it like why do I need to see your chin like why do I need to see your shoes like why do I need to see what you ate for lunch today and um a picture of a toilet where you've taken a shit or like why do we need like why do we need that communication I was just trying to get paid on Snapchat so don't crucify me uh we don't we feel like it's somewhat like overconsumption of like people having access to you yes but also it is contributing to consumerism over consumption in general because if we stop watching each other's content we could also save money and I'm speaking for everyone

who buys stuff from the things that I link I'm just talking about y'all too like listen if you all have financial goals or you're trying to stay off social media I'm not mad at you If you don't want to buy the links because you're not looking anymore, that's fine. I get it. I think that we all as a community need to do, just do better. Okay. Well, speaking of communities that need to do better, we have a listener submission, and it's Am I the asshole?

She says, am I the asshole for wanting to ask my mother-in-law to stop buying toys for my five-year-old? She takes her to Target and buys her everything that she wants. She orders every hunk of junk from Amazon. Today we got two junk toys and there's another coming tomorrow. with an already full small house and me currently purging for Christmas and birthday right around the corner, please stop with the stuff. We have never been able to have the pleasure of buying our daughter toys because one, she comes to expect with every trip to target. And two,

toys are now disposable to her. She plays with them for five minutes. We have to be the bad guys and tell her no when she goes out with us. I don't want to be ungrateful. And I understand that my daughter is the only grandchild of my mother-in-law is a young late 70s. Her time with my daughter may be limited. It is also more difficult for my own mother who can't afford to buy everything that my daughter lays eyes on. So given that choice, my daughter will gravitate towards my mother-in-law because she knows that it means toys, which is 100% intentional and it kills me. Mother-in-law's actions are manipulative in general, and she lies to most people about pretty much anything, including lying to her husband about money, shopping, gambling, etc.,

and ask us to participate in the lies. Am I the asshole for wanting her to stop, or is that just how it is with an only grandchild and I just need to suck it up. My problem with all of that would be less about the toys and more about the lies and manipulation surrounding all of that. I'd have to draw very strict line in the sand and also have create boundaries around that grandmother because obviously you don't want that to be the norm as it has become. No, I don't think you're the asshole. And if that's how you feel at the end of the day, that is your child.

And here's the thing, though, that I am struggling with this because I've seen it in real, in my own personal life with other people that I know. When someone says, I cannot buy this for my child and this other person wants to buy it, whether it's a friend or a relative, what is the problem? I think what this mom is saying, and I very much understand it, like, it is your child. And ultimately, the relationship that is being created with the mother-in-law is teaching the child to have transactional relationships. So I think as a parent that that is your right to be able to say this relationship feels very transactional. And because of that, we don't want this.

No, no, no. I hear that. And I completely agree. Like my mom was the queen of, oh, I got fucked up. Oh, I was not sober. When you got home, let's go buy something. Right. Like, that'll make you feel better. I didn't have money to fill the fridge, but very much has money to take me down to sneaker king in Honesdale, Pennsylvania, to buy me a pair of new shoes because she fucked up, right? But what I'm more so speaking on, and I'm thinking of years ago, Sterling had come to visit with her mom. And, you know, I don't see her mom very often, but she went and she wanted to buy all the kids something, right, from the toy store. And I'm like, to me, that doesn't, I don't care. Like that. And one of the, one of our friends at the time was like, no, you're not buying him a toy.

Like you're not. And her mentality was like, I can't afford this for my kids. So why, why should you get it for him? And I for me, I don't understand that either. And that's also not like a habit that's being created. Right. Like literally once in a while or one time ever. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so I think that that's a completely different situation. But when you have a situation to where it's almost like the relationship. And in this mom's situation with her daughter, that the relationship is purely based off of a transaction. And then it's also causing issues, number one, in their home, but number two, with the other grandmother that is not financially able to do it. There's like some unevenness there. As a parent, I think that you have every right to say, hey, we are not, we're not doing this. I will say like maybe for a suggestion, if you're looking for one, maybe grandma can put whatever money that she was going to buy the toys with. Like, put that money in a bank account. Start like a savings account. It also creates situations with children that they become to expect that from that relationship.

So the relationship is solely based on like, okay, I want to see my grandmother because she's going to take me to talk. and she's going to buy me all these things. And then it, it's an overconsumption because the child does not value the things that they have either. I took my niece to Target last month and I bought her everything she wanted. Good. You're not doing that every single day. No. And when I see her this weekend, I'm not going to do that. Like I might get her something. Like, but I'm not going to fill the cart, you know, with everything. But like, that was my first time really being able to spend time with her. And not that I wanted to like buy her love um that's a big thing that people say about me specifically is like oh you buy everyone's love oh you have money so you can take care of your kids i wanted to spoil her

because i've never had a niece like i want like and yeah she has an aunt on my sister's side through it would be like my my sister-in-law like her brother's wife right i don't want like now i'm like thinking like I don't want her to associate me with like stuff I want her to associate me as like a safe person that she can be around so I want to be careful moving forward but I still want to like buy her gifts and stuff out of love not to buy her love does that make sense right yeah and I think that you just have to be we all have to be very cautious because you know will said stuff to me as a mom he's like you let Jackson get whatever he wants and like you can't do that because he's going to associate, okay, well, dad wouldn't let me do it. And dad's not going to take me

to Chick-fil-A during the weekdays. So I want to go and be at moms because mom will take me to chick-fay. Like, you have to be very cautious of the things that you do and the way that kids perceive them. On that note, we have foul play. On that note, we have foul play. Hello, ladies. I've been listening to this podcast from the beginning as well as your other podcast. I have submitted things before but have held on to this foul play because, well, it's embarrassing. So please keep me anonymous. Always. I've been with my husband since I was 15 and just celebrated our 28 years together, aging myself with that. I wonder how old. She's like 40. I don't know. But needless to say, we try to spice things up by trying new things. A few years ago after attending a

wedding where both of us had some drinks and we were feeling pretty good, we decided to get down and dirty after we got home. We decided to add my bullet to the equation for some extra fun. My husband decided to put the bullet in my backside as he was in the other hole. All of a sudden, he said, whoops, and I realized he'd let go of the bullet, and you guessed it, and it went. I immediately started freaking out, ran to the bathroom, trying to get it out, and all I thought was, please let me get this out. I don't want to have to go to the emergency room to get this out. Thankfully, after a few minutes, I managed to get it out. And needless to say, we will no longer be adding toys while intoxicated.

Love listening to you both. Thanks for making my days just a little brighter with your shenanigans. I just need to say like butt stuff is definitely overrated. Like that's number one. Number two is what she's saying like she put the, he put the bullet in her ass and then it like got lost up there. Like have you, has a man ever put a thumb in your butt? Yeah.

I think it was one of those instead of the thumb in your butt. It was the bullet in your butt. don't let go of the bullet, but I think he let go of the bullet. Mm-hmm. Or it was like quicksand and just like took it. So the asshole just absorbed it. It was just like, sucked it right on up.

Sucked it right on up. Wait, has somebody ever put their finger in your bowl? Yeah, last week. Oh, they did? Mm-hmm. Do you like it? It's not my fave. It's not my fave at all.

It's like, if that's what you feel like needs to get you there because you want to finger around my butthole, mm-hmm. Like, okay, like, I'm going to take one for the team. But, like, can you not do that and find another way to get off? I just like, what is your thumb in my asshole? What does that do? Like, what is it?

It's giving a lot of things that I don't want it to be giving. You know what I think it is? I think men think that it's doing something for us. And it's just not. And, like, some people love anal, they claim. I don't know that I believe them. I want to give somebody a lie detector test who says they love anal. I mean, I have heard back when I was in high school, I knew about like this mom that was like a mom at the school and the high school boys would talk about how like she loved to take it up the ass.

And yeah, it's a long story. But apparently like she got off from taking it up the ass. and I'm like, how, though? Like, does it not hurt you? Like, how does your butt get that relaxed that you're just like, yeah, I can orgasm now? I don't believe anyone who says they can have an orgasm, like a woman. I don't believe a woman who says they can orgasm from getting it up the butt. I just definitely need to know anybody who's listening to this.

Somebody putting their finger, their thumb specifically, in your ass. Like, what is that doing for them? Like, mentally, like, where are you? I think mentally they think that we love it. They think that we're doing, they're doing something that we love. And that is what's getting them off. But, like, sticking a thumb in my butt is not getting me there any faster. No, it's actually scaring me.

And it's preventing me from getting there. So on that note, that's all we have time for today. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app, follow and rate on Spotify, or listen wherever you get your pods for our latest merch visit coffee combospodcast.com to shop full video episodes are available on kale's patreon at patreon.com slash kale lowry don't forget to follow us on instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community we hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see ya this november action is free on pluto tv go on the run with

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I'm Keel Bristow. host of Off the Vine podcast where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor Franchise and Beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness. No, no, no, no, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, Nika. Just like, in this, like, business jacket, like, I would love from tacos. Heidi DeMilio, Big Brothers, Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened, and we're going to get the through it. What I do. And so many more. So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions,

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