Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Heinous Crimes & Grandparents Have Changed

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

CC372: The recent news of Casey Anthony's life has us up in arms. And speaking of more bad adults, a man severely hurts a baby, and Kail finds out what makes a child less likely to get targeted by a child predator. Lindsie gives her example of a conversation with Jackson on consent. A Listener asks for opinions on her living situation with her daughter, which leads to a conversation about the change in dynamics with previous generations of Grandparents. For Foul Play, different situations but equal amounts of embarrassment that include a certain male genitalia Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsor! Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthKiwico: Get 50% off your first month on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/COFFEE

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kailin Lindsay. Cockadoodledoo, bitch. What the fuck, man? I started recording because I knew that this today's intro was gonna be unhinged. But you look good.

Oh, wait. So we're already on air. We're rolling. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? well, just got off of a Call with my ex-husband that I didn't want to be on so oh, okay. So what happened? So yesterday I picked Jackson up from the bus stop and he's dressed all fancy like and I'm like the fuck are you doing? Like you work from home. What are you doing? And he was like, oh, I'm going on a date. And I was like, oh, cool. So then didn't

expect that we would hear anything from him at all. And Jackson and I started getting blown up over group texts. And he was like, hey, since we had to redo that Kennedy paper or whatever, he didn't have time to get his online math minute, so make sure he does those today. Okay. So Jackson texts back and he's like, no, I did those at school. And Will's like, okay, well then do extra. And he's like, no, I did extra at school.

So I see this like 20 minutes after this altercation has been going on and I text back to the group and I'm like, I thought you were on a date. Like, why are you texting me? So then he goes, hold on, I wanna pull it up so that I'm not a liar. He says, she values education. It's his mom, isn't it? I said, she's not my child's mother,

so let her value it for herself or her children and say it on my lane with mine. Thank you, Sweet William. Sweet William? That's a brand name. We'll let her take that and trademark it stat. He goes, his. So I'm trying to get to the vet today

and I'm like, okay, I'm doing good. Like I've made it to, I've got the get to the vet today and I'm like, okay, I'm doing good. Like I've made it to I've got the kid to school. I've made it to Pilates, like ready for this rug delivery that's happening. Getting Oliver to the vet to see when his wiener is going to get cut off. Like all the things I get all the way to the highway and they have the fucking highway shut down. So in the midst of me turning around, Will calls, send the shit to voicemail, because like not in the mood to fuck with you, just like I'm not in the mood to fuck with this highway.

So I then text back and said, what? So then I get a call again. I said, what could you possibly fucking need? Like if it could be in a text or an email, don't fucking call me. So he's calling to go through like these dates that we have conflicting schedules. And he's like, well, when Jackson and I are going

to the beach with my parents next week, I think it would be best that you just have all of the dogs because I'm not trying to deal with my parents yelling at me if one of them shits on the floor. So you're just gonna keep the dogs. All three of them? Yeah. And I'm like, okay, good, because this is actually what I didn't sign up for. But I guess I'm signed up. So you're gonna start a business called Lindsay's kennels? Yes. Yes. Okay. Or Jackson's

kennels since he has them both either at your house or will's house. It can be Jackson's kennels. So I was just being complacent. Like I was just like, okay, no Campbell kennels. That's what it is. Campbell kennels. That's great. That's a good one. I'm just like, oh, okay. Like that's fine. Whatever. And he was like, what's your attitude? Do you want an attitude? Cause I'll give you one, but that surely wasn't it. He goes, I just don't understand. You've had an attitude. And I'm like, why don't you go and talk, call date girl or like whatever, and stop fucking calling me.

Date girl, go educate date girl on what's going on because I'm not the fucking one. Well then he goes, how do you know that my date wasn't on the golf course and that I didn't shoot an 80 yesterday on the golf course? I didn't even know. What does that mean? Good, it's great. It's a great score, great, good, good for you. shoot an 80 yesterday on the golf course. I don't even know. What does that mean? Good.

It's great. It's a great score. Great. Good. Good for you. So happy day. Well, I need to update you on some news if you haven't been watching TikTok news. And by TikTok news, I mean, we don't know.

It is news. It is news because I don't have time to watch the actual news. So allegedly, and I don't think it to watch the actual news. So allegedly, and I don't think it's alleged because News Nation and the New York Post posted about this. They reported that Casey Anthony has been in an affair with a married man since January of this year. His name is Tyson Rhodes. He's 48 years old and they met at the gym. Allegedly she was in a group chat with this man with other people from the gym. And then that conversation stemmed into just Casey and Tyson in a conversation, which is they started their thread.

That's how it all started. Tyson's an engineer. He's 48 years old. He's been married for 20 years. He has two teenage sons or young adult sons. And I want to get your thoughts on this because we know she was acquitted. We know it was several years back, but do we feel like she has the right to move on despite all of the things that she was accused of?

And we know, we believe that she actually did. And also to further the thoughts there, do we think that we think she has the right to move on, but not necessarily with someone who's married. What are your thoughts? Okay, there's a lot of problems that I have with this situation. I agree. Number one, can we just normalize women not going after married men? 1000% we need to normalize that.

Because there are so many fish in the sea. Like, why do you need someone that is already attached to someone else? But I am committed in the next statement that I'm about to make. I believe that there are certain types of women that seek married or taken men because it is a thrill. Really? I think it's a thing. I? I think it's a thing.

I think- Because it's a thrill is crazy. Well, how would it not be a thrill? Well, I can see how the act of cheating could be a thrill, like in terms of like, you get a rush from like, I don't know, being rebellious. It's like a pick me mentality. Like this man is taken, he is committed. Now I'm gonna see how far he will go with me if he chooses me.

Okay, so you're saying it's more of a pick me mentality in terms of like the end game. Yes. Okay. You believe that you are foul if you are Casey Anthony and you're foul regardless if you're a person that's doing this But you're very foul if you're Casey Anthony and you're breaking up a 20-year marriage With someone that has teenage children You didn't want a child which is why you did what you did. So I also feel that way

I also have a lot of feelings about Tyson like you I feel that way. I also have a lot of feelings about Tyson. Like you, I understand that humans are complicated and emotions and just like human feelings in general, you can't help who you fall in love with, but you can help what you act on. And at the moment you fall in love with someone like Casey Anthony and a lot like there are very, very small things that will turn me off and make me not want to pursue a relationship any further, right, like get turned off pretty easily. At the moment that I find out that someone that I'm interested in was accused of murder,

was on trial for murder, any of that, I'm immediately not interested anymore. And immediately my feelings that might have been so pure and so strong are no longer in existence. Like I promise you that. I want to know like on a scale of one to 10, how fast you get the quick and it might take something kind of fucked up for that to happen. Like if someone has a baby immediately I have the egg and I'm not I will never be interested in you again. Wait if they have a child? Yeah like like I just read a bunch of trolls for example a bunch

of trolls were like I think it was baby mamas it might have been I said something along the lines of like if Chris didn't have a child I'd still be like still be in love with him or something. Said something along those lines like him having a baby was the quickest way for me to never go back and that was 100% factual like and it's not a disrespect to Elijah, right? I am happy where I'm at and I moved on, et cetera, et cetera. But something like that. Or maybe I see someone be absolutely horrific to their mom. I'm never going to look back. I'm immediately done. You know what I mean? Those sorts of things, I'm never looking back. I'm immediately done. The second I find out that someone I'm

interested in was accused of murder, alleged murder, possible murder, I don't care. I'm not interested any longer. Well, and in my opinion, all of the facts are there. She she got off on technicality, which I always go back to and say, I absolutely hate technicality of cases. Like I hate it. So do you think though, despite all of that, she has a right to move on? No.

Just flat out? No. No. I don't think that OJ Simpson should have been able to move on. No. And I'm trying to think who else was acquitted horrible shit like that and the proof is in the pudding you don't get to just Get off and then go about your way and now I'm happy and there's somebody dead like that's fucked I just I question both of them. I also it's hard because like Isn't it the Bible that says like only God can judge? So I don't know I just can't being accused of killing an innocent child and lying about it and doing all of this Like I I don't know that I agree that she should move on in like a normal way

Like I just don't know that she should. I'm a Christian and I'm flawed and I'm a sinner. I'm judging you. You're like, my sin is judging Casey Anthony. Yes, it really is. And I also have always wondered about her moving on, getting a boyfriend or having friends. How do you like explain that away? No, because here's the thing. There's no way she has friends because if she had friends, they would know what a manipulating person she is and what a lot like I do think that there are this is going to this might ruffle some feathers. I do think that people who

have very traumatic life lives or like childhoods, you know, that they go through a period of like manipulation or like they lie about dumb shit and then they do grow out of it. I do think there are people who grow out of it, right? Like based on their maturity and like their trauma and stuff like that, whatever they get therapy, they move on. But I think that there are certain people like Casey Anthony, who that is who you are to your core.

And that's something you can never grow out of. And I think that her continuing to pursue a married man is proof of that. I don't think that she has friends. And so I just, for me, I can't wrap my head around this. So I went on my Instagram story and I asked on my stories, you know, what people think of this. And let's see, married or single, who cares?

She doesn't deserve to be happy after what she did. Agreed. She's breathing fresh air and shouldn't be. Agreed. Hopefully we don't know the whole story, but he's married unless he's not. How the fuck is he not? The New York Post, obviously we don't know the whole story, but he's married unless he's not. How the fuck is he not? The New York Post, obviously we don't know, but the New York Post wrote that he is married.

So I would imagine that they did their fact checking. Someone else said, she played some part in a murder of her daughter. She has zero conscience. A married man is a simp. I don't know what that means. Okay. I just also want to point out if you were this man's wife and you had been married to him for 20 years and he not only

cheats on you but cheats on you with Casey Anthony. Oh, the ultimate betrayal. Right. Um, someone said she def she still def killed her daughter. She was guilty the whole time shouldn't even be free to date. Chris, someone is off. Someone's going to hell and said, not to mention. Have you seen him? He's hideous. I don't know what to say about that one.

You know, said she can go to hell. Fuck her. My parents always said, you know, sometimes you just have to look at the situation and be like one person's trash is another person's treasure. Well, one person said let her live at this point. No, no, she absolutely should not. Kristen said that simp means basically a PUSSY beta, etc.

What the fuck is it? Oh, like an alpha or a beta. Okay, so like a simp is someone who is less than an alpha essentially. Okay, got it. Well, that was the news. I'll be curious to see if they end up staying together with now that people are all over this. I know that they moved from Florida to Tennessee. So not only did he blow up his marriage and his family, he also moved to another state with Casey. I wonder what her parents think about the whole thing thing or if they're just so far removed from the situation with her that like nothing could affect them. I don't know. I think that they're never gonna fully heal from all of this.

Like if that was if that was your child you were the parents in the situation what would you do? I mean I probably would do something similar to what Casey's parents have done. And that is to have to go no contact and try your best to stay out of it and away from it as much as you can. But I just truly don't think that her family, her parents will ever heal from the damage that was caused and the allegations against them, specifically her dad. Then to see this, like you, the last thing that I don't care if Tyson and his wife were legally separated,

you are Casey fucking Anthony, you were accused of killing your child. The last thing that you should ever even think about doing or pursuing is a married man. So to me, I'll agree. As as if I was Casey Anthony's mom, I would be like, what the fuck are you thinking? Like you are Casey Anthony, you don't get to just because I have always said I don't think life is black and white. I do think that certain things happen and sometimes affairs and adultery is committed, right? Like I know that but you're Casey Anthony, you can't let that happen. That's something that you

should never touch with a 10 foot pole. You should be out there fucking saving animals lives, donating to the fucking soup kitchens. You need to be out there getting pressed for that, not for pursuing a married man. You know what's also so weird is that how many years later is this that we're still talking about it? Well, that's why I kind of asked was like does she have the right to move forward knowing how many years ago it was? No the answer is just simply no. Is that your baby? Yeah that's one of the twins. That was the sweetest cry ever. That was a verse. He's I don't know what's going on out there. I can't see, but if I had to guess,

Vally's probably bullying him like she always does. That's a real thing. Oh yeah. She bullies him so much. She crawls on him. She hits him in the head. Like she's like always like messing with him. And I'm like, Vally, no.

So she's you. Oh shit, the trolls will love that. Oh my God, mean girl. Okay, I don't know if anyone out there is like me and you're already looking into holiday gift giving for all of your loved ones. Anybody who has children in your life, it is a fantastic gift idea. I absolutely love gifting kiwi co-creates. Ever since I heard about them from Kale and Lindsay talking about them, I've become such a huge fan. We use them with our nephew, we use them with my nieces. It is fantastic. If you have not heard of KiwiCo, they deliver

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It says, this man is allegedly wanted for throwing scalding water on a baby in an unprovoked attack at a park in Northern Australian state of Queensland. He is now the subject of an international manhunt. Officers are working with international partners to find this man identified as 33 year old foreign national and known to have fled the country four days after this alleged attack. The baby was nine months old and is suffering from serious burns on his face, his arm and

his legs. And this man allegedly threw piping hot drink on him as he sat with his mother on the grass at a park. I cannot listen to stuff like this. My twins are 10 months old and I cannot imagine. I mean, even when they cry, it's not like they're innocent babies. Like they're just so innocent and I just cannot imagine that like why what would cause somebody to do something like this When I hear stuff like this, I'm like they had to have just mentally snapped There's no other explanation. There half that kid. There's literally no other explanation. I can't I don't even want to know more about this I hope they find him. I hope that I hope that he gets truly what he deserves honest to God

But like we're where do you run to? Hell. It says that they are continually scratching their head and that they cannot find a motive. A rational, normal person you would think wouldn't do something like that, but that's not always the case. Like, is that psychosis?

Like, what causes someone to do that? I just hope that that baby heals okay. I hope the baby burns are horrible. Like they say that that is one of the worst ways to like the worst things to happen to you. I cannot imagine like the mother who probably felt so fucking helpless. I mean, just imagine being in a park.

You have no way to like immediately soothe your baby of those types of burns, those type that type of injury like I cannot imagine the pain, I cannot and then truly I mean the baby was nine months old but that baby is going to live with PTSD, I'm sure. reading one book before I had Jackson, and it was talking about like bath waters and stuff and to make sure that you always check the bath water before you put your baby in because if it's ever too hot or an extreme too cold, then it could cause them to like never want to take a bath again. So I can't imagine what it would be like for this baby to be now a burn victim and have scalding water all over them and then to be the mother on the back end to have to deal with all of the medical stuff that she didn't ask for.

I hope that this is a situation where I believe in an eye for an eye. Oh, you think that somebody should throw scalding water on him? Mm-hmm, but tenfold because he's an adult. I'm not kidding. I'm really not kidding. I hope when they do locate him that honestly it's met with an entire pot of scalding water. No, it's truly like there's a special place in hell for people like him. Moving on to other adults who do absolutely heinous crimes, I want to talk about SA victims and people who sexually assault children,

because there was a study done in Europe that interviewed inmates who had sexually assaulted children. And on this podcast, we talk a lot about not having sleepovers and things like that. having sleepovers and things like that. And when asked, the inmate said that there were two types of child victims that they ended up not sexually assaulting. And these two scenarios were one where the child knew too much about their body parts and also resisted. They knew what was going on and were not being compliant. The other one was that the parents were very involved. I thought that was really interesting because for one of them, they go on to say the children being knowledgeable about their body parts, they're aware of their surroundings, they know what's wrong, they know about consent. And so I thought that was really interesting because I know that there are people who have mixed feelings on calling the human anatomy different names other than actual body parts.

And so if it would prevent one of my children from being sexually assaulted, I would tell them the actual body parts and teach them about consent 10 times over. So I don't know that we've ever talked about this before. But I feel like it's a very common place for guys to have a plethora of names for their junk. And so Jackson would regularly walk around and say, Oh, my dad calls it a shmeckle. And I'm like, that's not what it is. And any child therapist that I have ever talked to has advocated for when a child is aware of body parts to start teaching them that this is your penis and this is your vagina, because in the event that there was ever any type of court case that you were involved in, if my child was up there saying,

okay, that person touched my schmeckle, no, that person touched my penis, that plays very differently. And so I think it's very important, even though it does feel kind of abrasive, to have those conversations with your children and to use those words because they sound very big. I would rather that and be protected than be in a situation to where that actually did happen to my child. And then it was thrown out because my child didn't know the proper term for the body part.

Right. And I, truthfully, I don't want a predator to think that they have one up on my child because they don't know the proper term or they think that they can get my child to agree to something based on the innocence of calling. And I'm not saying that everyone who calls it something else, that's going to happen to you. That's not what I'm saying. I don't want it to be misconstrued, but I don't want someone to approach my child thinking, oh, well, they don't even know the proper body parts. They're going to be an easier victim for me. And with that all being said, teaching your children about consent from a really, really young age, at the point that you recognize maybe your toddler into

a child because I feel like Creed's at the age where it's like he's not a toddler, but he's not quite yet in kindergarten. So he's like, he's a kid, but he's still kind of is in the middle of like kid and toddler. I tell him all the time and I was just on another podcast where I said the same thing. Like, I tell him when I see him touching, you know, my friend's son, he might try to hug her, he grabs her hand. No, you have to ask permission to touch her. And like most recently out by the pool, they were kind of like all pushing each other in, which is a whole other conversation. But specifically to Creed, to Nova, I said, you need to ask permission to touch her. You don't get to just push her in, even though everyone was doing it. And like, you know, at the time we were just don't even get me started on that conversation.

I don't want to explain myself, but specifically the touching another child. I'm friends with Emily. We're watching the whole thing, but at the end of the day, if she doesn't want to be touched, she might not even feel comfortable telling you she doesn't want to be touched. So you need to be proactive. And at four years old, I want to teach you that you need to ask someone before you can hold their hand, before you can kiss them on the cheek, before you can hug them, before you can push them in the pool, you know, something like that. I just don't, I, we're not going to tolerate that and I know what happens to adults so I don't want to put my kids, and I'm not saying it's going to prevent that from happening, but I think it will at least create one more barrier between the predator and the victim. I actually had an expert who had been trafficked on the Southern T a while ago,

and she has children. And she said that the first step is to start teaching your kids about consent. And it can be such small things, and then it grows with age, right? So, you know, asking for things is, can be where it kind of starts. Like I don't care in my kitchen, I don't care Jackson can have whatever he wants here, but it's kind of teaching them like, you ask before you do. And I think that is so important. And in the world that we live in today, I don't think that you can ever be too careful. I would agree. I would agree. I mean, I think that we're, we place so much emphasis on cancel culture and things that are not as big in the grand scheme of things, where we should be focusing on teaching our children

the prevention methods, consent, all of those things before we should worry about canceling someone for what they did or said. Let's put some more emphasis on teaching our younger generations about consent. And I read a comment this morning that said something along the lines of millennial parents are the first generation to really teach and talk about calling our body parts

by their real actual anatomy names, talking about prevention, talking about consent. I just want to continue that conversation. If Coffee Convo's is doing anything this week, I hope that it's continuing the conversation about anatomy, calling them by their real names, talking about consent. Maybe we need to just talk about- Well, when you were growing up, what did your mom say your private parts were? She never said anything. So how did you know it was a vagina? I don't know that I did. So it was just kind of like a not talk about it environment. It wasn't like taboo. I'm sure if I asked, she would have told me, but she, I never

asked and she never told. So it wasn't, we just didn't have those types of conversations. I don't remember ever having that conversation, like even a similar conversation. ever having that conversation, like even a similar conversation. Coffee Convo's podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, so while we are all getting ready to go hang out with Kale on her first tour, and we're super excited about it, I was home, I was packing, Corey and I were talking, and he was telling me about this hobby that he found somebody doing on TikTok, and it's rug making with this special tool. And he was saying how he would absolutely love to learn. And I loved that for him because there are so many things that I would still

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Like, to be fair, to be fair to that generation, I don't think that they knew better. I don't either. And even if they knew better, that was also a generation of you don't talk about sexual assault. You don't talk about essay of you don't talk about sexual assault. You don't talk about essay, you don't talk about rape, you just sweep it under the rug and you process your trauma internally and you don't say anything to anyone. It was like, don't talk about your feelings regarding anything. And so I'm not saying that that's okay, but that truly was their way of life.

It is. And I think that you have, when you you become aware you have to be willing to be the person to help make the change. What do you say to your kids about when they go to the doctor? Because that was a really hard conversation for me to have with Jackson because I've always preached like your private parts are your private parts and no one's supposed to see your private parts and no one's supposed to touch your private parts are your private parts and no one's supposed to see your private parts and no one's supposed to touch your private parts. Well, then when he had to have his balls checked, that was another conversation. And he was like, well, that's what you said.

And now my doctor has to do this. And I said, I'm in the room and I can see what's going on. This is part of something that happens when you have a physical, at no other time would this be appropriate. And that's the conversation I've had with my kids. Like, and actually, one of the providers that's at our doctor's office, because there's several providers at our office. And so at each stage of my kids' lives, they see somebody different, but they're all in the same office. One of the providers during one of the physicals said, mom is in the room. She also reiterated something that I was already saying to my

kids, like, mom's in the room. I do have to check your private parts. And so it was good to hear her say that out loud because it was one of those things where like, okay, mom said it, we talked about it, but also this person is doing what only what they're supposed to do. And then that is it. Lincoln had a physical pretty recently and was not happy about it. And I said, you know what, like this is once a year, I know that you, this isn't great. And it gets a little tricky because how do we talk about consent? And then we're saying, okay, nobody can see your private parts. Nobody can touch

you. Okay, but it is okay for them to check you in this medical setting. But then what if they, I mean, Lincoln didn't say like, no, I don't want that checked. Like it wasn't about that. But I'm just saying in general, like, okay, nobody should touch you, you need to give consent. But then we're going to turn around and take you to a physical that your private parts have to be checked at. And then what if Isaac, who's 14, said, "'No, I don't consent,' then what?" I really don't know, because at 14, are you able to say, I consent or I don't?

I think no, I think in a lot of settings, no. I think it's up to the parent for the consent. Because they're not at the age, I mean, because at that point, as an adult, as the parent, you have to decide, okay, I want them to be checked for medically if there's anything going on. So that's a really interesting conversation. I would actually, maybe I should reach out to a physician and see what they think. Yeah.

Because I know I want to say, Will told me one time that his dad or mom had to be in the room with him when he got his balls checked until he was 18. Is that true? Yeah, I'm pretty sure, yeah. Could you imagine? No, I couldn't. And no, I couldn't. I really could, cause I remember getting a physical

for lacrosse in high school and my mom wasn't in the room. She wasn't in there? No, and I remember him asking if for lacrosse in high school and my mom wasn't in the room. She wasn't in there? No. And I remember him asking if I had had sex before and things like that. And I remember feeling like I didn't think that was appropriate, but to this day, I have no idea if it was or not. Well, it was probably because they would have done a pap on you or something like that had you.

At a regular family doctor? Yeah. At some regular family doctors, they do PAPs. Oh, I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, obviously, I don't know. Like if you go, if you don't have a OB-GYN's office that you visit and you just get a regular physical, like a woman getting a regular physical

at her regular doctor's office, They will do a pap there. That wasn't even a doctor that I had been to regularly. It was just a random one my mom picked to get the physical for me to play lacrosse. Do you have to have physicals to play sports every year in high school and middle school? From what I remember? Yeah. I feel like you do.

Jackson, which is about going to the doctor all the time. Yeah, I just had to get Winkins physical and I felt bad because I was like, he's healthy, everything otherwise is healthy, but I get it, it's liability, it's for the best interest of the kids, like I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it. Well, we have a couple of listener things that I want to be able to get to today.

The first person says I'm conflicted and seeking opinions. I'm 51 years old cancer fighter currently in remission and had stem cell transplant five years ago. I am unable to work and I live with my daughter who charges me rent but doesn't believe that she could pay me for babysitting my granddaughter. What are our thoughts? She says my granddaughter is very attached to me and prefers me over her parents sleeping with me every night. I contribute to the household with toiletries etc. Never ask for a dime. Despite this my daughter doesn't appreciate the struggles I face with fatigue and side effects from nightly oral chemo. I believe the babysitting should just cancel out their rent as I save her money on daycare fees.

I just want to be appreciated for my efforts. I would agree with her. I agree with grandma. I think that if she's providing and I get it, there is, you know, a fine line between paying family members and childcare and in an ideal, perfect world, we wouldn't have to want money to babysit our family members. But in today's society, that's just not how it's built. But I do think in this particular situation, it should absolutely cancel out. I'm helping you, you're helping me. I would agree. I also couldn't imagine knowing that my mom was orally taking a chemo drug helping me with my child and my child was sleeping with her every night and then feel

comfortable to take rent money. I would agree with you. I think that's really sad. I think that clearly the daughter isn't thinking about what is in the best interest of her mom either. And like her mom really doesn't have to help her with her children if she didn't want to. But in situations like this, I think that that's where, you know, providing some facts would maybe be helpful to say, okay, I have done research in this area and this is what it would cost for you to send your child to daycare.

This is what I am paying in rent. You're not having to pay the daycare costs, but I'm having to pay the rent. It's not a tit for tat situation, but when you're not appreciative and you're bitching, then yeah, I'm gonna get tit for tat. Yeah, I agree. And I just, I don't know, like, this is how you wanna remember your mom. I hope that she doesn't pass, but Jesus Christ, like she's taking chemo. And I don't know if anyone knows this or not.

Accutane is a very small dose of oral chemo. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. So I did a five month treatment of acc chemo. Really? Yeah. And so I did a five month treatment of, of Accutane. And all this, I just followed bouncing ball here for anyone listening. All of my side effects are gone. But I felt in those five months, like my

joints and my bones hurt. So like getting out of bed in the morning and like stepping on the ground like that physically hurt me like my my joints, my bones were hurting. My lips were cracking, all kinds of things. And so I felt the minimal, the very, very minimal side effects of that. So I can't imagine taking like a full blown dose of oral chemo. It seems like that was so long ago that you were on Accutane, but like it really wasn't. Seven years ago. It was right after Lux was worn. I think 2018 maybe, six years ago. That's when you walked around with Aquaphor all the time.

All the time. And I had like these huge things of water to try to counteract the Accutane. But yeah, I mean, I'm just saying like, just for perspective, like I had such a low dose of that. And so I feel like feeling the effects of that, I can't imagine like an actual dose of chemo. So when I was set to sign on for season six of Chris Leano's best, Jackson was already in school, not kindergarten, but like pre-kindergarten. And I felt like it was in his best interest

for Will's mom to be with him all the time, if I wasn't. Yeah. And I was like, I don't wanna use another nanny if I'm having to be away from home for like two or three days out of the week, then his grandmother should be here, but she needs to be compensated for being here because this is outside of like a grandmotherly duty.

And I always wanted their relationship to be protected in the sense that anything that they did was because it was their equal wishes. Jackson wanted to do it with them and they wanted to do it with him and never a pressure situation of I am babysitting you. And so I wanna know your thoughts on the difference between helping out in a babysitting type role versus just being a grandparent and like where is the

great area? Well, so just like you, I was the same way. Like Joe's mom would always be compensated if she was taking, you know, essentially like a caretaker role for very specific, you know, Teen Mom events. And same for Natalie, same for, I think Bone helped me a couple of times. I made sure that, because they were like family to me, but they're gonna be compensated because at that point,

it's not because they mutually wanted to go do something, it was because it was for a job. And so I just feel like, I do think that's a little bit different than, for example, like say Elijah and I are working Monday through Friday and we ask his mom, does she wanna be the caretaker during those times? I don't know.

I think it's a little bit different than like what we did for Teen Mom, but I also feel like that becomes a job. It does become a job. And anytime that it's outside the scope, and I don't know who creates the scope, right? But like in my mind, if it's outside the scope of just being a grandparent,

if they are helping you in some way where you are monetarily benefiting also from their help, then they should be compensated. But that doesn't necessarily mean compensated financially because I do think that there's a world where certain families are able to sort of do what this grandmother said, right? Like she's like, I'm gonna provide the childcare

if you could provide the housing. And so I think that that is the ultimate goal is to help each other out and create this village. Or like maybe an example would be if someone is going to provide the childcare for two or three days out of the seven day week, and then you're kind of on your own to figure out the other days and you're not charging for those two or three days because as the grandparent or the aunt or the uncle or the cousin, whoever, they want to do that for the two or three days.

So my ex brother-in-law and sister-in-law, when they have two kids, and when they were first born but weren't eligible for like daycare, my ex-in-'s and then her parents, they switched on and off days, like on a rotating schedule every single week. And that was something that they did.

And I'm sure there was no compensation that was involved in that. That was just grandparents being grandparents at that time. Then, you know, they go off to school, whatever. If I was asking my mother-in-law to come and watch Jackson three days out of the week and she has to be displaced from her home, her regular life schedule of things and solely taking care of him so that we can work, you're getting compensated for that.

Okay. I couldn't tell you how many grandparents I see. So all my kids go to a private school up until kindergarten. And it has like a curriculum and stuff like that. The grandparents that come in here and like just from the outside looking in, first of all, a lot of them are not even in a position to be in from what I can see to be driving these small children and they're very old and some of them have canes and things like that. And I'm like, wow, you must really love your grandparent, your grandkids because you I wouldn't if that was me, I wouldn't do it. But also like, what is the alternative? You aren't as close with your grandchild as you have would have wanted to be. I mean, I can't speak for anyone else's grandparents

or situation. But my grandparents took on a huge role in my life as a kid, a small child, My grandparents took on a huge role in my life as a kid, a small child, probably up until around 10. It was always me going to their house. Their regular scheduled programming wasn't necessarily affected, it just included me in it. I think there's a little bit of a difference there. Also, I'm not entirely sure how involved my grandparents were as an infant or a toddler. I'm not super sure on that. I know once I was self-sufficient, my grandparents were really involved. So if

I had to guess, they were probably also involved, not necessarily by choice. I think they would have been, but I think they also kind of felt like they had to be. But I was always involved in their routine. So it wasn't like they were coming to my house and being displaced. You know what's interesting? And I feel like this is very common now. When you and I were growing up, I feel like relationships with grandparents looked very different. As you're saying, your grandparents were very involved.

So were mine. Like I would sleep over. Most of my nights were spent at my dad's parents, and they were factory workers, so they would have to be up super early in the morning. They would drive me to my mom's parents. She ran an at-home daycare. I stayed there all day and then my dad's parents picked me up at night,

took me home, gave me dinner, gave me a bath, put me to bed. To your point, I folded kind of into to their regular life, right? It's like I became a part of what they did. Today, I don't feel like grandparents operate like that because I feel like the generation of parents now have this expectation that those parents are gonna fall

into their life and their world. Yeah, no, I wholeheartedly, I mean, I can't say that I've seen a grandparent yet. And y'all can read between the lines on that one, including the ones you think that you know and you think that you've seen. I cannot honestly say that I believe that any of the grandparents that I know today are the way that our grandparents were. I will say Chris's mom reaches out a lot, not a lot frequently to see if she can have the kids. She's

like, you know, if they want to sleep over, like so she's down. I don't know how like what the the overstaying their welcome would be at that point. Like, I don't feel like I had one with my grandparents. It was like I just kind of folded into their lifestyle. And like, they figured it out some way. I don't think that grandparents are doing that. But I want to give you a little perspective too. And this was really hard for me with my therapist because I could not understand it. I could not wrap my head around it. I

said, my grandparents were so active in my childhood and I'm not seeing that with my parents with Jackson. Not gonna blame my parents because a lot of it was boundaries that I set up that I have to acknowledge, right? But my therapist said, Lindsay, the needs were different. The needs were different. Your parents needed their help, you don't. But even still, like whether you need the help or not, why do

grandparents not and I know that we've talked about this before, this is not a new conversation. Why do you not want that relationship? Why are you not trying like I don't understand it because even if it's like, okay, I'm only gonna like they can set boundaries and be like, I'm only gonna do x, y or z. But like, why are you not even wanting that? But like my parents never asked to my knowledge, we just got dropped off. Like knowledge. I also got dropped. Like it was

just assumed that like, if you're home, you're taking this fucking kid. Yeah. And we don't care because we've got shit to do that does not involve her. Like, so why? What is it because the grandparents now are younger? Is it because they want to live there? Like, I don't think we'll ever have. But like, if you ask them, I truly believe they think that they're involved.

Oh, no, they definitely do. Because one of the things that was said was like, as long as she lets us be grandparents, and it's like, Wait, what? Yeah, one of the grandparents was like, as long as she lets us be grandparents. And it's like, wait, what? Yeah, one of the grandparents was like, as long as she lets us be like, meaning me, as long as I let them be grandparents, first of all, where are you? Because I don't, where are you? You know, what else I think a lot of this is too, is that we live in a society today,

that we're so selfish as human beings with our time. I don't feel like our grandparents were like that with their time when we were growing up. Their time didn't matter because they were focused on their family. So my nanny might be like, well, I'm going to TJ Maxx on Sunday and I'm going to Walmart and I'm going to the Winn-Dixie and I'm doing all of this, but you're coming with me.

Yeah, that's if I'm ever a grandma, that's the kind of grandma like it's like, yeah, I'll have my, but I'll also make sure that my kids know, hey, I'm gonna be away from this date to this date, but every other day is fair game. Yes, yes. But you know, people don't operate like that.

You're seeing grandparents travel more. Like I can't remember my grandparents traveling, going anywhere. Like maybe the highway from their house to the grocery store or Hardee's in back, but like that was the only rubber they were burning. Yeah, my grandparents, too, they, my grandma was never getting on a plane. Like you couldn't catch her dead on a plane. And so you just have to look at the times and how different things are now. And-

But now is when we need the villages. Like, have you seen inflation? Have you seen the way our society is going? Like I can't, now we need the villages more than ever and they're nowhere to be found. Like I don't even know, I know for a fact, my mom was dropping me off at anybody that would take me she was dropping me off sprinkle, sprinkle. And here like I have

one friend nearby that I could call on a way and be like, Hey, I really need to go do this. Can you take the kids for a cup just like an hour two hours and I know that she would do it and vice versa. Like I told her yesterday, if you can't be at wrestling, I got you know, I'll take the kids. It's not a big deal. Like I have one person around here like that, that's it. Yeah, I have one person around here like that and his name's Will.

That is the one person. Times are so freaking crazy and it truly causes me a great deal of concern. This morning my nanny called me and I didn't even get out of Pilates and she needed to call and let me know that inflation was just out of this world and could I believe that eggs were $5?

I read something this morning that said, well, first of all, tell nanny that I'll ship some eggs, fresh farm eggs directly to her, farm fresh eggs from Kail in the Chaos directly directly to Nanny for free. I read something this morning and it was like, something along the lines of like, our grandparents or something, if they made $80,000 a year, that today it would be,

they would have to make like 230,000 or something like that. It was like, more than double in order to be like where they were at back then. And so that really puts things into perspective. Someone asked us, they said, I need to venture out for my normal groceries. What are your go-to snacks for the week? Mind you, we like to keep it on the healthier side.

Although we like snack to snack on stuff now with football starting. Number one, my biggest dread of the entire week is grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. I absolutely hate it. Do you still do the Instacart thing? Yeah. For all of your groceries?

Just about, I mean, nine out of 10 orders are Instacarted. And what is regularly in your cart? Oh, I'll pull it up right now. I'm also wanting to set better examples for my kids. So I do try to make more conscious choices, like health conscious choices. We do string cheese. We love Z bars.

I don't know if you are familiar with Z bars. We absolutely love them. Specifically the iced oatmeal cookie ones, yogurt, bananas, Happy Tots, Creed, Rio and the twins drink the pouches. They're organic stage four pouches, Kind bars. But if she's talking about snacks and food for football watching situations, or if she means that's like snacks and food for like football watching situations or if she means like that's going to be very different than like snack foods. Yeah. Snacks that I'm into right now are peanut butter stuffed pretzels.

So like little nuggets. Yeah. Like the little nugget ones, chops, hummus. That's a good one. Any type of protein bar. Like I'm a big protein bar girly. I'm just looking at string cheese. You put sweets in your mouth? We try not to do sweets anymore.

There was a time where we were having like all the gushers, all the fruit roll-ups, all of that. And then I just felt like, it's not even so much the sugar as it was the dyes and so like I've really tried my best to like keep those at a minimum. We do like the little I don't know if you're a fan of cottage cheese but like the cottage cheese like the ones that are in the yogurt containers so they're like individual servings that's a big one.

I just like I don't really know if she's asking for like football watching snacks or just like as a whole? I don't really know either. But I have a list of great football snacks that you can make in your crock pot, but you're not gonna be healthy because they probably have blocks of cream cheese and all kinds of various shit in there. Also, get on Cucumber Salad TikTok because there's a creator that I absolutely fucking love and he makes all kinds of cucumber salads or it's like an entire cucumber and he puts other stuff in it like we got onions or he'll make like a California roll cucumber salad where it's like crab and stuff like that and it's like in like a container and he like slices it and then he puts all the ingredients for whatever cucumber salad he's doing and it's been fantastic. I literally have one in the fridge right now. Say that again. What's in yours? The one that's in the fridge right now is just cucumbers,

a little bit of cheese, ranch, croutons and bacon. So I mean, it's not the healthiest, but it's, I'm eating a whole cucumber. You know what I mean? So like normally I would grab a bag of chips. I'm not gonna grab the bag of chips, I'll grab the cucumber. So, but then- I love cucumber salad. Are you the type of person that makes generally like the same meals throughout the week, week by week?

Because I feel like you have spaghetti all the time. We have tacos all the time. We like, there are specific things that we rotate through this house every week. I know. We also rotate pretty regularly. I did ask Elijah to make chili this week, so I've been eating that for the past two days. But normally, we rotate through the same meals.

I know my kids are going to eat them. I know that they'll feed the whole family. Lincoln has so he developed like a dairy intolerance. And so he's having he's actually removed dairy from a lot from a big portion of his diet. And I will say for a 10 year old, he's done a fantastic job. And so with that, I was like, I'll try my best to do the same, at least cut back on the dairy, because it also doesn't agree with me.

Eating healthy is so hard and then also just like football season or just like any time that you're going out, concerts, football, sports, and you're like tailgating and you're, it's just so hard. Like we have a lot of travel coming up and I feel one of my biggest stresses

is being able to find food that agrees with me because I do have a lot of allergies as well. And that is my, my biggest thing about traveling and why I hate it because it's so hard to eat well on the road and I wish that I had somebody that was versed enough to be able to tell me, okay, these are the things that you need to look for on restaurant menus. Yeah, it's hard. And just in general, eating healthy, I think even without all of that is hard enough. One last thing before we do foul play. And I wanted to ask you about this. A listener says,

Hi guys, what are some of your must haves to pack and mom's dad's and baby's hospital bag? your must haves to pack and mom's dad's and baby's hospital bag. Um, she wants, she's expecting, and she wants to be sure that she covers all of the bases. Do you have a list of things that you took to the hospital with you? I don't have one currently, but I can think off the top of my head, a boppy pillow. Bring all your toiletries, bring your own towel. The towel that they provided the hospital is, um, like, bring your own towel. The towel that they provide at the hospital is like half of a regular towel. So if you bring your own, also bring a robe. You do not, you can get a birthing gown on either Target or Amazon. You do not have to birth in the hospital gown. And I think

that's such a misconception. I see so many people post and like some people prefer them, that's fine, but you can get ones that open in the back that are your own and are more comfortable. I see so many people on social media post in like the hospital birthing gown and I'm like, poor girl, she didn't have to birth in that like they're, they're just like not comfortable. Bring slippers. Oh my god, bring slippers. You don't want to touch your foot your feet to those floors in the socks and then get in the bed.

See, it was so long ago when I had Jackson that I don't feel like it was normal to like take extra stuff. I don't think I took anything in a fucking bag. I think Oh, me neither. My first one was in a sweatshirt or something. Right? I think my first one I didn't bring anything. It was just like, I also wasn't anticipating going to the hospital. Bring a pillow. Bring all your the hospital. Bring a pillow, bring

all your toiletries, bring a little travel sound machine if you want to use one for your baby. A lot of people I see doing the posting for what to put in your bag is a fan. I never needed a fan but I could see like especially if you want. Mm hmm. Bring your own blanket pillow I said toothbrushes. I personally prefer adult diapers over the pads that they give you for afterbirth. They just think that the diapers are less messy. They don't fall out the side of your underwear. I'm trying to think. Oh, one of those bands that you wear around your waist like a belly band. Yeah, I think that they're good even if you

didn't have a c-section. Well, thanks for all the tips for those of us going to have a baby. And on that note, foul play. Foul play. Okay. All right. Let me start off by saying I look forward to listening to y'all's bullshit and you're the only podcast I listen to regularly. Now onto the most embarrassing, mortifying thing that has happened to me up until this

point in my life. Shitting my whole delivery with my first baby might have topped it. When I was 17 or 18, one of my best friends lived right across the street from my boyfriend, now husband. He was 19 or 20 at the time, basically living in a frat house with a few of his rugby teammates. So high school me was not really allowed over. With that being the circumstance, we did a lot of dirty deeds in our vehicles outside of the houses. Well, that was the case until I got caught with my man's balls deep in my throat by my friend's stepdad.

We will call him Joe. The first time I had ever given head and he comes out mid act yelling at me, thinking it was my friend yelling at me, oh, he thought it was his daughter. Julie, what in the hell are you doing? Are you serious? Get your ass back in the,

I stand up and look at him like a deer in headlights, absolutely mortified and not knowing what to do. My boyfriend says, hey Joe, how's it going? Dick out and everything. And Joe looks me straight in the face, jaw dropped and realized it wasn't Julie and apologizes for interrupting and goes back inside. I can never look at that man in the eye again.

My husband and I still laugh about it to this day. Ma'am, the way that I would never come out in public again if someone ever saw me sucking someone's dick. The way that I would freak the fuck out and never be able to probably look at that friend because I know that her dad said her stepdad said something to her. I need to ask you a question. Remember when you had sex in that BMW in the mall parking lot?

When you're doing stuff like that in public, are you ever afraid that you're gonna get caught? Or is that part of the drill in why you do it? No, I don't think getting caught has ever really crossed my mind. Why would you assume that you weren't gonna get caught? Because we do it in plain sight. I just feel like when you do it in plain sight, nobody's

expecting that something is happening in the BMW of the middle of the middle of a parking lot in broad daylight. Like nobody's thinking about it. Was it in the back seat? Yeah. Would I do it today? Like as we speak? No, I think that my frontal lobe was not fully developed when I was

doing it and I was also in a relationship with someone who was not in my best interest. So I think that both of those things played a factor. Would I do it today at 32 years old? Probably not. I also, this girl said shitting my whole delivery with my first baby might have topped it. Was that anybody else's fear going into delivery? I was so afraid to shit that I made Will stand up like at the top.

Cause I was like, this man can't see me. It wasn't about like my vagina being like all out, looking like that. It was, I was afraid to shit. I was not, I questioned whether I was or not, but I didn't really care who at that point, it was like my legs are wide open. I have a baby coming out. Like I I didn't really care who at that point was like my legs are wide open I have a baby coming out like I don't care who sees it at that point. Yeah, but it's a turd

So is the child yes that that is true Did you shit in any of your deliveries? Yeah, I'm sure I did. I'm sure I don't know Yeah, I did, but I don't remember like I don't remember. I, I did. But I don't remember. Like, I don't remember. I feel like you shit when you delivered locks. Oh, 100%. And no one was there to catch the bait. Like the nurses saved the day because my doctor wasn't there. So I'm sure the nurses were like, Oh, we weren't expecting this baby to fly out of her and shit. But I'm sure shit came out there. I'm positive of it. Wait, so I feel sure shit came out there. I'm positive of it.

Wait, so I feel like it's a common, it might be a misconception. It might not be a misconception. But I feel like it is that people who have babies and they come out like very fast. People think that that means that that person has a looser vagina than someone that has a baby that takes forever to push. Say that again. I feel like people think if you have a baby really fast, that's an indication that your

vagina is looser than someone who takes forever to push. Yeah, 100%, which is like absolutely furthest from the truth. That's not true though, right? No, absolutely not. Because I mean, that doesn't even, that wouldn't make sense. Like, Lux came 90 minutes flat from start to finish, from the time my water broke to the time he came out. And then immediately following that, I had another child that took 10 hours.

I say that to all the women who are listening to this. Don't let anyone tell you that you have a loose vagina because your baby flies out. Because I really don't believe that that's true. Out. No, I don't believe it's true either. At all. Like, my dad told me that my mom shit me and my brother out like so fast. And then I'm pretty sure he told me that Julie like

almost hemorrhage or something like that. And I'm like, that's not an indication of a loosey goosey. No, it's absolutely not an indication like that. And I'm like, that's not an indication of a loosey goosey. No, it's absolutely not an indication of that. Like the fuck? But this was also coming from the same man who thought that if you are the dad that you automatically have the same blood type, like your kids automatically have your blood type.

No, that's not true either. I know, but that's what he thought. I mean, I agreed because if you are sharing blood with your child, why wouldn't they have your blood type? Yeah, but two people are sharing blood with that child. No, because semen doesn't have blood in it. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the umbilical cord. But the umbilical cord was formed in the mother's stomach.

Right. So wouldn't that be like her blood type and his blood type? I don't think so. Wow. We should go to school. Next foul play. My husband's brother-in-law is a welder and my husband was starting to do some welding just for fun.

Hubs went and bought a bunch of welding stuff after his shift and came home to take a shower. You know what this kind of reminds me of? What? When you bought all that lacrosse shit. Yeah. After his shower, he took a pic of the stuff that he bought and sent it to his brother-in-law to see if what he bought was good for welding. There is a gel that you use to weld

and it's called Cuders Snot Tip Dip. And that's what he sent a picture of. So because he had just gotten out of the shower, was still naked, he works at night, and no one is awake when he gets home. He takes a pic of the tip dip gel. In the background, you can fully see the head of his penis. But he didn't know and sent the pic anyway. When the brother-in-law saw it, he fully died laughing and was convinced that it was a meme and showed all of his co workers at

his welding shop. It wasn't though. So when his brother in law pointed the tick out after a joke, hubs was mortified when he realized he had literally sent him a dick pic. Obviously, this is something that he can never live down. And he's now called uncle, uncle, uncle,. Uncle cooter is crazy. Can you imagine? Like you were sending a picture of something and then your dicks just like slapped in the back.

But that's totally something a man would do. Like by accident. I was taking pregnancy photos of one of my pregnancies and Kristen knows about this because I initially didn't spot the penis. So the penis. Yeah. So I was taking pregnancy photos of my belly growing in the bathroom. Yeah, I guess like I needed to turn a certain angle or whatever. So father took the picture. And I

printed this shit out and put it in a scrapbook without realizing that because we were in the bathroom, he's taking the pictures stark ass naked with his dick out. But I must have not because it was like sort of dark. So I could see how I missed it. But now that I saw it, I can't unsee it. And it's in a scrapbook. I love it, I can't unsee it. And it's in a scrapbook. I love it. Okay, so Kale wants to watch Monsters, the Lyle and

Eric Menendez story on Netflix and cover on an upcoming episode. We talked about this last week. Super excited to be able to watch that I feel like this is an obsession that lives rent free and kills head. So this is going to be a very good watch for her. We are also watching taken together who killed lyric and Elizabeth and I have already watched it and the shit is wild. We will be talking about that on an upcoming episode and it's

available to watch on Prime Video and HBO Max. And we decide if we were going to watch the perfect couple on Netflix because when I asked if we decided if we should going to watch the perfect couple on Netflix because when I asked if we decided if we should watch it, I started yesterday. Oh, okay. So I'll also start. Okay, great news. So if you guys want to follow along, then those are going to be what's in our watch

queue. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app. Follow in right on Spotify or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. Full video episodes are now available on Kale's Patreon to join visit www.patreon.com slash go see ya. I love reality TV on Pluto TV. Same, and I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives' Vault Channel.

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